If your partner does not want your minor child at your wedding, absolutely do not, under any circumstances, marry them, unless you have no contact with your child.
The last story acutally has a really lovely update. She moved in with her brother and his husband and they are helping her until she finds her feet. They have gone no-contact with her mom and MIL and the MIL of the brother (i.e. BIL's mom) has basically offered to take over as grandmother to her triplets.
For the potential 'Throuple' situation it could also be a QPR with the third person (queer platonic relationship, full commitment, no sexual/romantic stuff). Especially with the long term and high commitment nature of calling someone a 'third parent' they clearly see her as part of their family regardless of who is sleeping with who. I just want to throw that out there because not many people know about QPRs, I fully acknowledge the could also be a classic throuple. I know I sure as heck wouldn't want to let judgy mcgee OP in on sensitive info like that.
That guy who was like "I don't want my 3 girl children. I want the boy child *you* killed!!' before breaking a table... I find it weird the Mum is like 'Oh, you can look past this and stay with him. It's no big deal' - yet she couldn't look past her own son being gay. gtfo Mum, and take abusive hubby man with you.
If i remember correctly, I think someone explained conservatives as "forgiving transgressions," which is why abuse is so rampant in those circles. But also probably because they ignore it and are also delusional.
Story 1: If the anxiety is so severe that he is afraid the baby is somehow not his despite truly trusting and believing her (and I believe he genuinely does), the test won’t be enough. This line of thinking is already irrational, so it sounds like the positive test result will be met with, “Maybe another to confirm there wasn’t a mistake,” or some other need for reassurance.
he would definitely ask to see the tests packaging (cause theres fake tests) and see her pee on it too. theres been guys who ask to see their partners pee on the stick for more proof, so considering his paranoia taking action despite the trust being there.. yeah she'll never win
On the other hand, he doesn't have general anxiety, it's the fear of this specific thing. It could be fixed with simple test. He didn't have to say anything, could have done the test after the baby is born and went on their lives
@@ApinaKapina1yeah that’s what I would have done since people seem to be so outraged by getting a paternity test. His father trusted his wife I’m sure and found out 16 years later the child wasn’t biologically his. It doesn’t seem like OCD or paranoia it’s a valid possibility that’s easily disproven by a simple test. Trust but verify.
The thing with stillbirths is that there are so, so many causes that can be why it happened. Even then there is also one that's just called "unexplained stillbirth" where they can't find a reason. Part of me feels bad because I'm curious if they had an autopsy done (kinda common where I live, and we don't do open caskets at funerals. Actually I'm pretty sure most people that are burried here were done so as ashes in an urn). Anyway, if you do an autopsy, they can more often than not tell you the cause (if it wasn't disvovered earlier, such as one possible sign of a stillbirth "coming" is that the fetus isn't as active as before, so there are warning signs). When it comes to causes that are from genetics, then the dad could be the one "at fault" so to speak. Not that it is ever anyones fault when it happens (well, 9/10 times)
@lina9535 I agree. I guess the only time you could blame a mother for the stillbirth is when autopsy has proven it's cuz the mum did something like drugs, alcohol, smoked, or intentionally cleaned cat litters while being aware it's dangerous etc. that lead to the death of the baby. But even then you don't say that into her face.
“ No, because your husband deserves to have a son “ 🤣 I laughed so loud my boyfriend came in to see if I was ok 🤣 I love you John, that was f**king funny 🤣
Oh my god the last story. Divorce him, get his ass for child support, and never let those little girls near him. Oh god as one of three girls I feel so sick to my stomach hearing this. My dad loves me and my sisters so much. He included us in his interests the same way he would have involved sons. Run OP. RUN. It’s not fucking natural to throw a fit and accuse your pregnant wife of killing your stillborn. He is going to get worse if you give him the chance. Ugh and her support system is soooo wrong. Poor OP. 😢
I'm late af to this, but just in case you didn't know, she did!! There's a bunch of amazing updates and her and her girls got their happy ending! She went NC with her mother for good, divorced her husband, and moved in with her brother and his husband. They have the room and some extra income so the babies will have their own nursery and they will pay for daycare for her when she feels comfortable going back into the work force so that she can save what she makes for the future. Her BIL's parents are super awesome and have basically claimed her as their new daughter and want to be grandparents to the babies and have them and her be a part of their family, and her brother's daughter is SUPER excited to have her and the babies move in and is really excited to teach her new cousins things when they're born. It's literally the most wholesome update+conclusion I have ever read/seen and I absolutely cried over it. Her husband is a real piece of work and I'm pretty positive he signed away custody. But even better?? They missed church so that her, her brother, and his husband could go to her house and get all of her stuff while her husband was at church, and her friends there noticed they were gone and contacted her to ask why, so she told them and the entire damn church rallied behind her and shunned him, and the church is help her with raising money for the babies and gathering supplies and things. It's community at it's best
@EmilyPersephone That's awesome! I was just thinking about the example for future relationships the spermdonor would have given had OP not left him. Glad she left and could stay with her brother.
Omg the amount of rage I have for people that use therapy terminology like “controlling” and “gaslighting” to do the exact thing they are accusing you of doing…
unfortunately, people who know exactly what theyre doing (and those who are genuinely delusional) will use therapy speak to make other people believe them. its like how cheaters accuse their faithful partners of cheating bc theyre paranoid, gaslighters will accuse their partners of gaslighting to turn it around and make themselves the victim
Along with people using "triggering" outside of what it's actually about. I don't know if you remember a few years ago when people would legit have these conversations: "Did you see that girl wearing a YELLOW skirt? Triggered~" I'm still so annoyed with it.
yalls reaction to story 5 was exactly mine when he said op was the reason he has no son, that mans horrible and in the update op moved in with her brother and cut off the rest of their family basically + divorcing the husband i believe
(Story 2) Haven’t finished the story completely but with those nicknames I have a feeling Adam, Eve and Lilith are polyamorous and op is just a hateful Christian
@@maidden insane if true 😭😭 ig it doesnt fit the narrative of "god is perfect." but hes also supposed to be all knowing so he didnt have to torture Job to figure out if he'd stay loyal just to.. impress the devil, basically
@@kaitlynmorgan4613 even though I'm an atheist (or well, I say I am so I don't have to deal with people calling me a heaten and pagan because I believe in Asatro (Thor, Odin, etc)). Even before Diablo, I knew full well who Lilith was. Depending on where you look, I think it's in the Hebrew texts where she is like the first vampire (which I know True Blood uses her as in the story). While in Christanity she's the primordial she-devil, and a man stealer. I know I put it in my comment either on this video or the reddit post. Like, the second I heard Adam and Eve, I was like "I see where you're going with this." Then came Lilith, and I was like "now I really see what you're doing." OP trying to be all clever 😂
The first guy needs to unpack his trauma in theraphy,his wife is paying for her mother mistake.I know fist hand anxiety can be destructive for your relationship if unaddressed. Your advice was perfect on that one.
Last story, divorce definitely. One thing that he should know is the man controls what the gender is. So the fact that it's 3 girls is on him. Thatd really mess him up if you wanted to mess with him. Screw that husband tho.
i dont think u can control that ? king henry the 8th only wanted boys but kept churning out girls. he mightve had one boy though. either way i think its a gene thing that determines the likelihood of having either sex, and king henrys genes leaned to girls
My husband wanted a girl the whole time leading up to my daughters birth. We tried for 3 years going through surgeries, hormone replacement and many negative pregnancy tests. I never really understood why he was so head strong on wanting a girl, until I asked. He lost his mother at 10, which I knew, and wanted to have a daughter. Now she is here and is a spitting image of her grandmother in heaven. He says God/his mother sent him our baby girl to help him heal. & I can honestly say I completely agree. Love the show guys!!!!
On the “soft a**hole” story 😂 he says that the paternity test is a guaranteed way to ease his anxiety so in his mind they do the test, it proves the baby is his, and the situation is over and they go back to normal.. even IF he could stop obsessing after the paternity test, the fallout doesn’t end there because his poor wife is going to have lasting emotional damage from that. She’s always going to wonder if he’s suspicious of her. She could end up choosing all of her words very carefully or avoiding certain conversations/situations for fear he becomes unnecessarily suspicious and it will drive a wedge further between them. He 100% needs therapy but they probably also should do some couples therapy because he doesn’t realize how him asking this of her is hurting her. What happened to his dad doesn’t guarantee it’s going to happen to him. 💔sad situation
What’s up WikiManiacs! Remember tomorrow, December 2nd is our livestream in Houston starting at 11:00 AM CST. Tickets are still available an hour before the show starts. Info in the description. We are also going to do a meet and greet for those who live in Houston. We will be at Urban South Brewery from 3-5PM CST. Address is 1201 Oliver St #10 Houston, TX 77007. We hope to see you there. ❤️
You know, I'm not religious, but I see what story 2 OP is doing. Adam and Eve? And Lilith? Lilith like the primordial she-demon Lilith? The sometimes refered as one of the first vampires Lilith? Yeah OP, I see what you're doing. Oh yeah, since I'm going heavily on the names OP picked, Lilith was also said to be a seducer of men. Like "men were adviced to not sleep in a home alone, at risk of being seduced by Lilith". So yeah, I think them being a trouple is probable.
That last story- dude needs a restraining order; that is assault and he will get worse. Please please please divorce and get a restraining order OP, get away from both of those moms 🏃🏻♀️ find a loving and stable support system and raise those babies with other single moms because they WILL help you!!! Your brother and brother in law will help you too. Find a local women’s shelter with resources and you can find other women to be your support system. You do not want your mom and mother in law in your ear anymore, that is absolutely NOT things you should be listening to. I promise being a single mom is 100000x better and easier and more peaceful and loving than raising your children in an environment where they see their mother being screamed at and physically threatened. No babies should fear their fathers, and what happens when something else makes dad mad in front of the girls, what happens when one of the girls does something themselves that makes dad mad? It WILL escalate. It always does. From someone who has been there, it happens slowly but the signs are there. Please get away now! You deserve the world and your kids should be able to see you at your best, not your most scared ❤
Story 1 is AH for me. I get it. OP has a past trauma, but he can't push that on his wife. He needs to deal with that in therapy. Him asking could lead to hurt, or rather, will lead to hurt for the wife. That will cause strife between them. This is something you bring up before a pregnancy, not during it or after the birth.
So I used to tease my little sister and tell her not to get so attached to her bf a at the time bc it'd never last- that was 11yrs ago and they're married now😂😂
Am I The Bad Apple is Rebecca Rogers' subreddit, she also does youtube and since she was a teacher she didn't want to say asshole and having a dedicated subreddit makes it easier to find appropriate stories.
It also works well like the other AITA-like subreddits, because they don't have the strict rules of AITA. For example. AITA does not want ANY relationship stories. They get removed. So anything that has to do with a relationship, isn't accepted there. I think that was why AITAH was created, then the others followed.
I will just put these thoughts out into the universe ✨️ I hope and wish for this hella strong momma and her triplets to have healthy, happy and fullfilling lives away from all the toxicity. For the babies to be born completely healthy on their expected due date and to grow up with people who truly love them and care about them for who they are. They will get through this, and find a better new beginning ✨️✨️ Manifesting
Womanifesting! Strong momma and three strong baby girls 🥰 Who needs that horrible scum-of-a-person she called her husband, what a despicable human being 🤮
it just dawned on me - whenever these men want paternity tests why dont they just schedule it and take the child. Say your gonna have a father/child day. get breakfast. see the grans. get the test and yeah let mom have a day home chillin
Baby Name Story: I'd probably feel awkward or uncomfortable about my BIL/SIL naming their kid the same as me. So I'd probably just call the kid M in my case, or some other nickname. But I also know that their kids name wouldn't be my call, or something I'm entitled to have a say in. Especially in a 6 months long highschool relationship. But I'm not shocked about someone at that age acting like that.
Really? Is my country like one of the few that actually has mature 15 and 16 year olds? Sometimes people be acting like 16 year olds are like 10 or under 😂
Story 4: I can see why this wouldn't get "approved" on AITA. It's a relationship question, basically. Between OP and Katelyn. AITA don't like posts that have to do with relationship situations. Actually, here, have some of their rules for posting: - Rule 5: Don’t even mention violence. Any hint, mention, euphemism or suggestion of violence falls under this rule - Rule 7: Posts must be a description of recent interpersonal conflict. Posts cannot be about your feelings, opinions, or desires. Your conflict cannot be with a group of people, an animal, someone online, a business, or a third party - Rule 11: Do not post about ghosting/cutting contact/breaking up with anyone (or not). Do not post about relationship issues, sex, being attracted to (or not), cheating or telling on someone for cheating (or not) or any other relationship conflict
coming from a kaitlyn who dated in hs,, i knew the probability of a relationship lasting past high school was VERY slim. i forget if i imagined marrying any of them besides 1 for sure, but if i did then it was all in good fun lol. i also wouldnt gatekeep my name from someone back then or now lmfao
WHILE i think the gf was definitely being entitled and in the wrong for making the comment, i think the bigger issue is the almost 30 year old woman, who will soon be a mother, is wasting her time arguing about it with a 15 year old. i don’t think it was that big of a deal when it’s a comment from a literal child that OP believed wouldn’t be around long anyway. it shows OP’s emotional maturity when she argued instead of just being like “huh thanks for the input” and moved on.
also would like to add she could have used it as a learning experience for the kid by saying something like “thanks for the input but lots of people have the same or similar names, and it’s a pretty name so it’s like a compliment to you”. spin it in a positive way instead of arguing with a child, you know??
Hey guys, love all your content ! The first story resonated with me as well : I’m currently 8 months pregnant and have unfortunately read about chimera situations (mom or baby having different DNA cause of a past mixup of cells in the body, but super rare). So like OP, I super trust my partner but just can’t shake the idea of « what if »… Anyways, been watching your episodes since the start of the Reddit stories era to ‘keep me company’ while I’m at home growing life lol. I feel like I’m chatting with friends during the videos (irl just me alone yelling « yes the AH! » to the tv 😆). I hope to become a patreon one day to support my favorite podcast, in the meantime I’ll be watching every episode ! Love from France. 🫰
Story 1: I've heard about a story like this before where the wife was the OP and the husband did go to therapy. The therapist was working with the husband on his anxiety but also said that the simplest solution right now would just be to get the test. I'm a woman and I can't imagine being pregnant, on a hormone rollercoaster and then have my significant other doubt my commitment to them. But I also understand that cheating does happen in the real world and no matter how much you love someone's you can't see inside their head. I think I would make Therapy a must for my husband and if the therapist believes that taking a paternity test is an important step, I would do that for him. I think this is more than just about trust, it's about mental health, compromising and looking out for each other. I myself have a history with mental health issues and am not in a relationship so maybe I am more forgiving in that aspect.
I've been cheated on and have trust issues, as well as mental health issues. I'd still be pissed if I was in her shoes. Here is a take that I know some people don't agree with, but that's how I've been raised (and pretty much how my country is as a whole). You deal with your own sh*t. Yes your partner can support you, but it is never on them to try and fix it for you, because that needs to be your responsibility (this doesn't mean they can't try to help or offer support). Like he should have been in therapy before they started for a child, probably even before he started dating and getting married. Like one of the commenters said, he is in so deep that 1 test isn't going to help. It might be a temporarily relief, but it'll come crawling back in. Especially when he sees features in the kid that isn't directly his (even though genetics doesn't work like that).
Story 5 I have 3 daughters and 1 son and I and my husband love all 4 of our kids equally we had our last.daughter 9 days ago both wanted a son because we already had 2 girls but we were just as excited to have our daughter as we would be if she was a boy that is wild that he only wanted a son so bad he says he won't have anything to do with them I would Divorce him imminently
The funny thing about the last story is it’s technically the husband’s fault. The mom only provides an X chromosome. The dad has to provide a y chromosome
Last story is ridiculous, i have two brothers who share almost no hobbies with my dad. Weareas I share many with him, skating, gardening, cooking, coffee, he even taught me how to repair damaged walls and furniture and how to change the sockets and even drill the walls, how to sew and draw. My brothers do have some common things they do with my dad such as video games, and gym and one of them has learned how to cook while the other not. But, i share a lot more with him, he loves us all the same, he and i just have similar personalities! Also note how his hobbies aren't all traditionally manly ie sewing drawing. The dude in the story just sucks, op should get a divorce!
On the title story- If a father doesn't have a Darrin Stephen's reaction (from tv show Bewitched) when he found out he was the father of a girl- bawling in the waiting room and hugging his justnomil from happiness- he's not worthy to be a father of any child. 🤦🏾♂️ Sure, he would have liked a boy, but as soon as he found out he was having a girl, he had the best attitude about it, even agreeing to a name his witch mil suggested. I hope OP leaves him and drains him dry! ruclips.net/video/PBDSwiCen9Y/видео.htmlsi=C8NDZEM2dbRCbaub
The story about Lilith I had a whole different take. She needs therapy and not enablement. I get that she's going through a rough time, that's why she needs therapy, but it sounds like her thinking the unborn baby is hers could lead down a dark road, even to her actually believing that child is hers. So I'd be very very careful with that.
Like for me I want a son first only cause I've had a name picked out since I was younger 😂😂, like if I ever had a kids I wouldn't care if they were a boy or girl I would just want a healthy baby. I would only prefer a boy since the baby name is already chosen and I wouldn't have to look.😂😂
K so I have mixed emotions on story number 2. I do think op is an ah for sure. But I think it may stem from maybe not knowing that they are a throuple. It still doesn't change that it isn't his business but I think it's normal to kind of question why this person seems to be so involved in a situation that doesn't actually involve them. He's definitely going about this ALL THE WRONG WAY 😂
Calling the third woman “Lilith” while the other two are Adam and Eve is major shade/judgment being thrown. (It’s a biblical/Abrahamic faith reference. Lilith is the name of the first woman and she is turned into a demon). I don’t think op cares to understand their situation, throuple or not. It’s not OPs business.
The last story. I feel for the mother . And question: isn’t the sperm the determining factor of if the child is a boy or girl? If it is , how is he mad at her ?!
I was hoping we were having a girl because I was obsessed with our girl name but I wouldn’t go back and change anything my son is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I couldn’t imagine spending my life raising anyone else❤ you’re allowed to hope for one gender and gender disappointment is a thing but how you handle it is ON YOU! You don’t deserve a child if you loving them hinges on something as wholly unimportant in the grand scheme of a parent child relationship as gender 😢 because it’s giving would not love his son if he had one if he came out as part of the lgbtqia+ community or anything else that isn’t “traditionally masculine” because he wouldn’t be the son he imagined he would be anymore🤡
I think they should get the paternity test. Just to know for absolute sure. A sliver of doubt could have him hold back in his parenting. I watch a lot of paternity court… it’s always just better to know as early as possible.
What the weird AH one meant is that he eould be the AH to himself if he marries her and the last story has very good updates thank god you guys should read the updates on that one at least that would be cool!
I love the guys, but them constantly saying “im not diagnosing, but this guy is a narcissist” That is not diagnosing, that’s using a mental disorder as an insult.
@@Cissy777 It doesnt matter the intent, if you are calling someone a narcissist in response to them doing something shitty, you are implying people with NPD do shitty stuff
I don't remember if I commented this or not (either way, more engagement for you guys). But having a child isn't really ever (imo) a good idea to try and mend relationships with people you've cut off (OP's mother in this case). Because what has the mother done to improve as a person and be better towards OPs brother? Nothing. So why should the child have a homoph*bic pos in their life? It's not worth it. Also, having grandparents in your life isn't everything. Plenty of people grew up not having them are are fine and doing well.
Hm. Not wanting son at wedding: Not the asshole obviously. Id heard this story before and realized Id assuned the son wasn't a special needs child who would require supervision at this event. Or has he (the child) stated at some point that he planned on ruining it? What Im getting at is there's an assumption that the son is well adjusted, well behaved, etc and NOT a Dennis the Menance or worse, and while her comments are unhinged, the idea that theyre only just now unhinged seems hinky to me, making me wonder if that's fabrication to drive the point home, if theyve been ignored or excused up tol now, etc. I realize its a bit devils advocate-like, but the stories with a clear villian next to question AITA always make me suspicious, and give manipulating vibes.
He says she knows he is a well behaved kid. She is just an evil stepmother. Unfortunately there are lots of step-parents who think they can "get rid" of kids after marriage.
I'm sorry but Lilith is weird and clingy and they should be cautious of her. She seems very depressed and has attached herself to their pregnancy AFTER hearing news that she will NEVER have one herself.
I definitely see a disturbing lack of boundaries. The in-laws also seem to enable her not bettering herself. But what do I know, just spent too much on therapy I guess
They clearly have an established relationship from before all this that's fully accepted amongst them and their networks. Why are you guys listening to the one naysayer in the room very obviously painting an unfavorable image of this woman?
Crazy thought: us as birth givers should do a paternity test for the father of the child because they dont have a guaranteed way of knowing its their child. There have been too many instances of passing off a kid as the wrong fathers child and i think its so wrong. I do say this as a mom of a 9 year old child. I would 100% do that for any other kids i have in the future as well.
Story 2: Hm. In this particular situation I would say the OP is NTA, or NAH. Lilith needs help, she obviously has a lot of trauma in life and - understandably so - that's probably why she tries to grab onto anything or anyone that'll make her feel better. Sure, OP could've just chosen to NOT voice his opinion in that particular way because it was a rude way of doing so. The brother and wife are very kind for letting Lilith stay with them, however they are not doing Lilith any favours whatsoever by letting her pretend that that's her child. So ultimately they're doing her a disservice if they chose to go through with it. Putting a sticking plaster on a gaping wound won't actually solve the fundamental issue(s) Lilith has. PS: I love you guy's videos!❤️
Story 1: NTA. As a woman i think OP is not the asshole. You can trust your partner but if you will worry all the time you can better do a paternity test to know for sure. If the wife didnt cheat, why is it a issue? The results come back positive and your husband is happy..
I'm sorry you guys I don't agree I don't think it's a wonderful thing to have this lady parent in this child's life being there and loving the child is wonderful. Having two parents can be hard enough with two different opinions let alone 3. I don't think that it's fair for the child to have this extra mom and extra opinion that really has no right to have an opinion or parent the child. I don't see how these parents are okay with this lady parenting their child unless they're in a relationship with her altogether but even then they need to parent the child not her because I can guarantee you when the child is able to talk they are going to wish Lilith wasn't around.
I assume they are in a relationship with each other and the fact there are three of them shouldn’t affect the child at all. Parents should keep their problems away from the kids and these three parents should be able to do it just as well as two parents or four step parents (also not all families have big arguments about how to raise children anyway)
Kids will have other parental figures whether it be aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers, coaches, etc, regardless of their parents, so what you are saying is moot.
All the father had to do in the first story was test the child behind her back and then tear up the results once he eased his mind. It is only situations like this where I would condone something like going behind your spouses back. But I think it would have saved his wife the heartache and it would have given him the relief he is desperately searching for.
If he did that he would spiral. First is one paternity test, then a second to confirm then a third to make sure then tracking his wife everywhere just in case, then go back to taking paternity tests every time thew kid isn't a carbon copy of him. He has no reason to need a paternity test, what he needs is therapy.
It wouldn't help. It would temporarily delay him destructing his own relationship and self sabotaging. You don't seem to understand there's no reasonable or logical basis for his fear: the basis for his fear is TRAUMA-INFORMED. His wife taking test after unnecessary test to "prove" she's a good person will NEVER be enough for him because he's not addressing the basis of his actual issues: HIS TRAUMA. He'd convince himself she somehow knew about the test and faked the results. He'd end up accusing her of cheating and faking the test results. He NEEDS to go to fsking therapy to address his trauma from his mom cheating and lying to his dad. That's the only way: putting in the work to realize his wife isn't guilty of his mother's mistakes. Right now, he's "punishing" his wife for what his mother did. It's abusive as all hell.
First Story: Honestly, I think paternity tests should just be mandatory. Paternity Fraud should be an easily preventable crime, but instead it's a crime the people commiting it often get away with. But for this guy, I think he needs therapy more than a test, as a paternity test wouldn't even prove that she didn't cheat (not that I think she did). It would only prove whether or not the kid is his. And this is the sort of conversation that's better had BEFORE the pregnancy. Not during or after. Until systems are out in place to protect victims or potential victims of paternity Fraud, as well as systems that will punish those that commit it. I can't blame any man trying to protect himself from it.
Mandatory paternity tests would be a logistics nightmare on already understaffed hospitals and clinics. Not to mention the gates it would open to violate people's privacy, medical records, and to discriminate against adoption and donor cases. Paternity fraud is not common at all, it's actually incredible rare. You know what's very common though? Men having affairs and getting mistresses pregnant and having whole second families. So much so that men having a second family is a whole trope in media! Ultimately you have to trust your partner, if you don't then you don't have kids.
@@morphinpinkyeah, the extra cost because men just won't let women have their thing, the government overreach and surveillance, the creation of a systemic mysogynistic assumption that all women are immoral malicious beings, the huge chances of malicious or accidental poor answers, or the chaos a gender equal standard would cause. Do you think these men whining over maternity test would like it if an equitable solution was formed? I can just imagine a genetic parent registry being formed to stop this "secret/hidden baby" debacle; they'll be foul now bringing up all these problems with the idea.
@@morphinpink You realize the reason why it's often not caught is because of the stigma around paternity tests right? And you gotta love the casual "well men are actually the ones cheating" you just slid in. And even then, I never said it was common. I said it was easy to get away with due to lack of enforcement, prevention, and punishment.
I agree with you guys 90% of the time but your take on the first story is insane. Your partner comes to you because of very real and rational worry based on his life experience. You can put all that worry to rest within days with a simple test and you refuse? You're either a) a selfish prick or b) you're worried what that test is going to show. Either of which are red flags.
But at this point, it doesn't sound like the test would work. He says he trusts his partner and does not believe they cheated (so therefore should believe the baby is his) but wants a test anyway. Wouldn't be surprised if he got the paternity test declaring him the father, but soon after started getting intrusive thoughts about how the test was switched or faulty. His issue isn't with the reality of the situation, it is with his past trauma. The test will not actually solve that.
But a paternity test only proves he got her pregnant. Doesn't mean she isn't cheating. There are all kinds of intrusive thoughts he could still have. If he doesn't deal with the root cause he is gonna keep torturing her with his doubts.
Without even starting the first story, no he is not the asshole. Wanting a DNA test is not an accusation of cheating. It is a man's right to have proof that the his child is his. DNA tests to determine fatherhood should be an automatic done at the hospital when a child is born, not something a man should have to ask for. After the story: Hard no on being the asshole.
am i the bad apple is rebecca rogers / rrogersworld 's subreddit. she dies aita like content, but it started teacher based cause she used to be a school teacher ie; good apple, bad apple, crab apple! 😊
If your partner does not want your minor child at your wedding, absolutely do not, under any circumstances, marry them, unless you have no contact with your child.
The last story acutally has a really lovely update. She moved in with her brother and his husband and they are helping her until she finds her feet. They have gone no-contact with her mom and MIL and the MIL of the brother (i.e. BIL's mom) has basically offered to take over as grandmother to her triplets.
Omg that’s such a great update! Thank god! I can’t imagine you figuring out your partner is such a shit human at that exact moment
Thanks for that peace of mind and informing all of us!
It sounds like the family was super Christian, a lot of those communities are so misogynist
@@haleyalaym6231 that makes so much sense
So cuteeee
For the potential 'Throuple' situation it could also be a QPR with the third person (queer platonic relationship, full commitment, no sexual/romantic stuff). Especially with the long term and high commitment nature of calling someone a 'third parent' they clearly see her as part of their family regardless of who is sleeping with who.
I just want to throw that out there because not many people know about QPRs, I fully acknowledge the could also be a classic throuple. I know I sure as heck wouldn't want to let judgy mcgee OP in on sensitive info like that.
That guy who was like "I don't want my 3 girl children. I want the boy child *you* killed!!' before breaking a table... I find it weird the Mum is like 'Oh, you can look past this and stay with him. It's no big deal' - yet she couldn't look past her own son being gay. gtfo Mum, and take abusive hubby man with you.
They're conservatives, you ignore abuse
If i remember correctly, I think someone explained conservatives as "forgiving transgressions," which is why abuse is so rampant in those circles. But also probably because they ignore it and are also delusional.
Story 1: If the anxiety is so severe that he is afraid the baby is somehow not his despite truly trusting and believing her (and I believe he genuinely does), the test won’t be enough. This line of thinking is already irrational, so it sounds like the positive test result will be met with, “Maybe another to confirm there wasn’t a mistake,” or some other need for reassurance.
Oh snap I wrote this before you read that comment 😂😂😂
he would definitely ask to see the tests packaging (cause theres fake tests) and see her pee on it too. theres been guys who ask to see their partners pee on the stick for more proof, so considering his paranoia taking action despite the trust being there.. yeah she'll never win
On the other hand, he doesn't have general anxiety, it's the fear of this specific thing. It could be fixed with simple test. He didn't have to say anything, could have done the test after the baby is born and went on their lives
@@ApinaKapina1yeah that’s what I would have done since people seem to be so outraged by getting a paternity test. His father trusted his wife I’m sure and found out 16 years later the child wasn’t biologically his. It doesn’t seem like OCD or paranoia it’s a valid possibility that’s easily disproven by a simple test. Trust but verify.
HE DID NOT SAY U K*LLED OUR SON THAT IS THE MOST WILD TAKE. divorce.
The thing with stillbirths is that there are so, so many causes that can be why it happened. Even then there is also one that's just called "unexplained stillbirth" where they can't find a reason.
Part of me feels bad because I'm curious if they had an autopsy done (kinda common where I live, and we don't do open caskets at funerals. Actually I'm pretty sure most people that are burried here were done so as ashes in an urn).
Anyway, if you do an autopsy, they can more often than not tell you the cause (if it wasn't disvovered earlier, such as one possible sign of a stillbirth "coming" is that the fetus isn't as active as before, so there are warning signs).
When it comes to causes that are from genetics, then the dad could be the one "at fault" so to speak. Not that it is ever anyones fault when it happens (well, 9/10 times)
@lina9535 I agree. I guess the only time you could blame a mother for the stillbirth is when autopsy has proven it's cuz the mum did something like drugs, alcohol, smoked, or intentionally cleaned cat litters while being aware it's dangerous etc. that lead to the death of the baby. But even then you don't say that into her face.
“ No, because your husband deserves to have a son “ 🤣 I laughed so loud my boyfriend came in to see if I was ok 🤣 I love you John, that was f**king funny 🤣
Oh my god the last story. Divorce him, get his ass for child support, and never let those little girls near him. Oh god as one of three girls I feel so sick to my stomach hearing this. My dad loves me and my sisters so much. He included us in his interests the same way he would have involved sons. Run OP. RUN. It’s not fucking natural to throw a fit and accuse your pregnant wife of killing your stillborn. He is going to get worse if you give him the chance. Ugh and her support system is soooo wrong. Poor OP. 😢
Agree 💯,
I'm late af to this, but just in case you didn't know, she did!! There's a bunch of amazing updates and her and her girls got their happy ending!
She went NC with her mother for good, divorced her husband, and moved in with her brother and his husband. They have the room and some extra income so the babies will have their own nursery and they will pay for daycare for her when she feels comfortable going back into the work force so that she can save what she makes for the future.
Her BIL's parents are super awesome and have basically claimed her as their new daughter and want to be grandparents to the babies and have them and her be a part of their family, and her brother's daughter is SUPER excited to have her and the babies move in and is really excited to teach her new cousins things when they're born.
It's literally the most wholesome update+conclusion I have ever read/seen and I absolutely cried over it.
Her husband is a real piece of work and I'm pretty positive he signed away custody.
But even better?? They missed church so that her, her brother, and his husband could go to her house and get all of her stuff while her husband was at church, and her friends there noticed they were gone and contacted her to ask why, so she told them and the entire damn church rallied behind her and shunned him, and the church is help her with raising money for the babies and gathering supplies and things. It's community at it's best
@EmilyPersephone That's awesome! I was just thinking about the example for future relationships the spermdonor would have given had OP not left him. Glad she left and could stay with her brother.
"I'm not disabled, just fat" would be an incredible t-shirt
Omg the amount of rage I have for people that use therapy terminology like “controlling” and “gaslighting” to do the exact thing they are accusing you of doing…
unfortunately, people who know exactly what theyre doing (and those who are genuinely delusional) will use therapy speak to make other people believe them. its like how cheaters accuse their faithful partners of cheating bc theyre paranoid, gaslighters will accuse their partners of gaslighting to turn it around and make themselves the victim
Along with people using "triggering" outside of what it's actually about.
I don't know if you remember a few years ago when people would legit have these conversations:
"Did you see that girl wearing a YELLOW skirt? Triggered~"
I'm still so annoyed with it.
yalls reaction to story 5 was exactly mine when he said op was the reason he has no son, that mans horrible and in the update op moved in with her brother and cut off the rest of their family basically + divorcing the husband i believe
(Story 2) Haven’t finished the story completely but with those nicknames I have a feeling Adam, Eve and Lilith are polyamorous and op is just a hateful Christian
I don't think most typical xtians are aware of Lilith.
@@maidden insane if true 😭😭 ig it doesnt fit the narrative of "god is perfect." but hes also supposed to be all knowing so he didnt have to torture Job to figure out if he'd stay loyal just to.. impress the devil, basically
For sure because Lilith is the good one in the real story. Adam is the controlling POS and that's why she made him leave Eden
@@kaitlynmorgan4613 even though I'm an atheist (or well, I say I am so I don't have to deal with people calling me a heaten and pagan because I believe in Asatro (Thor, Odin, etc)).
Even before Diablo, I knew full well who Lilith was.
Depending on where you look, I think it's in the Hebrew texts where she is like the first vampire (which I know True Blood uses her as in the story).
While in Christanity she's the primordial she-devil, and a man stealer. I know I put it in my comment either on this video or the reddit post.
Like, the second I heard Adam and Eve, I was like "I see where you're going with this." Then came Lilith, and I was like "now I really see what you're doing."
OP trying to be all clever 😂
Damn, im at work and a guy just walked in while wearing a shirt that says "fuck dem kids"😂😂😂
Would've taken a picture but it'd be too obvious 😢
The first guy needs to unpack his trauma in theraphy,his wife is paying for her mother mistake.I know fist hand anxiety can be destructive for your relationship if unaddressed. Your advice was perfect on that one.
Last story, divorce definitely. One thing that he should know is the man controls what the gender is. So the fact that it's 3 girls is on him. Thatd really mess him up if you wanted to mess with him. Screw that husband tho.
i dont think u can control that ? king henry the 8th only wanted boys but kept churning out girls. he mightve had one boy though. either way i think its a gene thing that determines the likelihood of having either sex, and king henrys genes leaned to girls
I almost cry with the last story. Pure evil. How can someone be so f mean??? How can he be so cold towards his wife and future daughters 😢😢😢
My husband wanted a girl the whole time leading up to my daughters birth. We tried for 3 years going through surgeries, hormone replacement and many negative pregnancy tests. I never really understood why he was so head strong on wanting a girl, until I asked. He lost his mother at 10, which I knew, and wanted to have a daughter. Now she is here and is a spitting image of her grandmother in heaven. He says God/his mother sent him our baby girl to help him heal. & I can honestly say I completely agree.
Love the show guys!!!!
On the “soft a**hole” story 😂 he says that the paternity test is a guaranteed way to ease his anxiety so in his mind they do the test, it proves the baby is his, and the situation is over and they go back to normal.. even IF he could stop obsessing after the paternity test, the fallout doesn’t end there because his poor wife is going to have lasting emotional damage from that. She’s always going to wonder if he’s suspicious of her. She could end up choosing all of her words very carefully or avoiding certain conversations/situations for fear he becomes unnecessarily suspicious and it will drive a wedge further between them. He 100% needs therapy but they probably also should do some couples therapy because he doesn’t realize how him asking this of her is hurting her. What happened to his dad doesn’t guarantee it’s going to happen to him. 💔sad situation
AITA for telling Josh it's doe-ting not dot-ing?😂
fr i was like "PLEASE josh, PLEASEEE!!"
It sounds like Adam, eve, and lilith are in a poly relationship and OP doesn't except it.
What’s up WikiManiacs! Remember tomorrow, December 2nd is our livestream in Houston starting at 11:00 AM CST. Tickets are still available an hour before the show starts. Info in the description.
We are also going to do a meet and greet for those who live in Houston. We will be at Urban South Brewery from 3-5PM CST. Address is 1201 Oliver St #10 Houston, TX 77007. We hope to see you there. ❤️
Pretty sure I need "I'm a worrier not a warrior" on a sewatshirt.
The audible gasp I made at the comment from the husband on story #5. Jesus
The last story.... let's not forget it's the man's sperm that determines the sex of the child
You know, I'm not religious, but I see what story 2 OP is doing. Adam and Eve? And Lilith? Lilith like the primordial she-demon Lilith? The sometimes refered as one of the first vampires Lilith?
Yeah OP, I see what you're doing.
Oh yeah, since I'm going heavily on the names OP picked, Lilith was also said to be a seducer of men. Like "men were adviced to not sleep in a home alone, at risk of being seduced by Lilith". So yeah, I think them being a trouple is probable.
Just gotta say, I love your podcast. You guys are so relatable and honest and so many people here appreciate you guys so much!
I went to a tiny school. 13/72 of my classmates were some variation of Kate/Katie/Katelyn.
That was what I was thinking. This is such a popular name, you cannot expect to have nobody close to you with the same or similar name. 🤷
That last story- dude needs a restraining order; that is assault and he will get worse. Please please please divorce and get a restraining order OP, get away from both of those moms 🏃🏻♀️ find a loving and stable support system and raise those babies with other single moms because they WILL help you!!! Your brother and brother in law will help you too. Find a local women’s shelter with resources and you can find other women to be your support system. You do not want your mom and mother in law in your ear anymore, that is absolutely NOT things you should be listening to. I promise being a single mom is 100000x better and easier and more peaceful and loving than raising your children in an environment where they see their mother being screamed at and physically threatened. No babies should fear their fathers, and what happens when something else makes dad mad in front of the girls, what happens when one of the girls does something themselves that makes dad mad? It WILL escalate. It always does. From someone who has been there, it happens slowly but the signs are there. Please get away now! You deserve the world and your kids should be able to see you at your best, not your most scared ❤
It's funny Adam Eve and Lilith.... Lilith is Adam's first wife then ended up with Lucifer 😂😂
Story 1 is AH for me. I get it. OP has a past trauma, but he can't push that on his wife. He needs to deal with that in therapy. Him asking could lead to hurt, or rather, will lead to hurt for the wife.
That will cause strife between them. This is something you bring up before a pregnancy, not during it or after the birth.
So I used to tease my little sister and tell her not to get so attached to her bf a at the time bc it'd never last- that was 11yrs ago and they're married now😂😂
The way they say doting is killing me LOLOLOL
My brain just begins to paint a picture of a person with a pen putting dots all over another person.
Am I The Bad Apple is Rebecca Rogers' subreddit, she also does youtube and since she was a teacher she didn't want to say asshole and having a dedicated subreddit makes it easier to find appropriate stories.
It also works well like the other AITA-like subreddits, because they don't have the strict rules of AITA.
For example. AITA does not want ANY relationship stories. They get removed. So anything that has to do with a relationship, isn't accepted there.
I think that was why AITAH was created, then the others followed.
I will just put these thoughts out into the universe ✨️ I hope and wish for this hella strong momma and her triplets to have healthy, happy and fullfilling lives away from all the toxicity. For the babies to be born completely healthy on their expected due date and to grow up with people who truly love them and care about them for who they are. They will get through this, and find a better new beginning ✨️✨️ Manifesting
Womanifesting! Strong momma and three strong baby girls 🥰 Who needs that horrible scum-of-a-person she called her husband, what a despicable human being 🤮
it just dawned on me - whenever these men want paternity tests why dont they just schedule it and take the child. Say your gonna have a father/child day. get breakfast. see the grans. get the test and yeah let mom have a day home chillin
Baby Name Story: I'd probably feel awkward or uncomfortable about my BIL/SIL naming their kid the same as me. So I'd probably just call the kid M in my case, or some other nickname. But I also know that their kids name wouldn't be my call, or something I'm entitled to have a say in. Especially in a 6 months long highschool relationship. But I'm not shocked about someone at that age acting like that.
Really? Is my country like one of the few that actually has mature 15 and 16 year olds?
Sometimes people be acting like 16 year olds are like 10 or under 😂
Story 4: I can see why this wouldn't get "approved" on AITA. It's a relationship question, basically. Between OP and Katelyn. AITA don't like posts that have to do with relationship situations.
Actually, here, have some of their rules for posting:
- Rule 5: Don’t even mention violence. Any hint, mention, euphemism or suggestion of violence falls under this rule
- Rule 7: Posts must be a description of recent interpersonal conflict. Posts cannot be about your feelings, opinions, or desires. Your conflict cannot be with a group of people, an animal, someone online, a business, or a third party
- Rule 11: Do not post about ghosting/cutting contact/breaking up with anyone (or not). Do not post about relationship issues, sex, being attracted to (or not), cheating or telling on someone for cheating (or not) or any other relationship conflict
Bad day at work. I definitely needed this!
49:42 as soon as those words left his mouth, my first would be making contact with his face.😮
coming from a kaitlyn who dated in hs,, i knew the probability of a relationship lasting past high school was VERY slim. i forget if i imagined marrying any of them besides 1 for sure, but if i did then it was all in good fun lol. i also wouldnt gatekeep my name from someone back then or now lmfao
WHILE i think the gf was definitely being entitled and in the wrong for making the comment, i think the bigger issue is the almost 30 year old woman, who will soon be a mother, is wasting her time arguing about it with a 15 year old. i don’t think it was that big of a deal when it’s a comment from a literal child that OP believed wouldn’t be around long anyway. it shows OP’s emotional maturity when she argued instead of just being like “huh thanks for the input” and moved on.
also would like to add she could have used it as a learning experience for the kid by saying something like “thanks for the input but lots of people have the same or similar names, and it’s a pretty name so it’s like a compliment to you”. spin it in a positive way instead of arguing with a child, you know??
how he reacted in front everyone they know should make those people wonder what he's capable of when no one is around.
Hey guys, love all your content ! The first story resonated with me as well : I’m currently 8 months pregnant and have unfortunately read about chimera situations (mom or baby having different DNA cause of a past mixup of cells in the body, but super rare). So like OP, I super trust my partner but just can’t shake the idea of « what if »…
Anyways, been watching your episodes since the start of the Reddit stories era to ‘keep me company’ while I’m at home growing life lol. I feel like I’m chatting with friends during the videos (irl just me alone yelling « yes the AH! » to the tv 😆).
I hope to become a patreon one day to support my favorite podcast, in the meantime I’ll be watching every episode !
Love from France. 🫰
story 4: "shes just a teenager" YEAH SO SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER
Where I live, she should. Our 15-16 year olds are more often than not mature.
It's not like she's 11 or below.
You'll probably never see this, but just an FYI, tacit is pronounced tassit. 😉
Story 1: I've heard about a story like this before where the wife was the OP and the husband did go to therapy. The therapist was working with the husband on his anxiety but also said that the simplest solution right now would just be to get the test.
I'm a woman and I can't imagine being pregnant, on a hormone rollercoaster and then have my significant other doubt my commitment to them. But I also understand that cheating does happen in the real world and no matter how much you love someone's you can't see inside their head. I think I would make Therapy a must for my husband and if the therapist believes that taking a paternity test is an important step, I would do that for him.
I think this is more than just about trust, it's about mental health, compromising and looking out for each other.
I myself have a history with mental health issues and am not in a relationship so maybe I am more forgiving in that aspect.
I've been cheated on and have trust issues, as well as mental health issues. I'd still be pissed if I was in her shoes.
Here is a take that I know some people don't agree with, but that's how I've been raised (and pretty much how my country is as a whole).
You deal with your own sh*t. Yes your partner can support you, but it is never on them to try and fix it for you, because that needs to be your responsibility (this doesn't mean they can't try to help or offer support).
Like he should have been in therapy before they started for a child, probably even before he started dating and getting married.
Like one of the commenters said, he is in so deep that 1 test isn't going to help. It might be a temporarily relief, but it'll come crawling back in. Especially when he sees features in the kid that isn't directly his (even though genetics doesn't work like that).
Story 5 I have 3 daughters and 1 son and I and my husband love all 4 of our kids equally we had our last.daughter 9 days ago both wanted a son because we already had 2 girls but we were just as excited to have our daughter as we would be if she was a boy that is wild that he only wanted a son so bad he says he won't have anything to do with them I would Divorce him imminently
ok im normally always high listening to yalls videos but the 2nd story made me feel like i was on acid. the wording was so confusing LMFAOO
Reddit on wiki subs understood the question… the fact that the one OP was deemed an AH is wild to me lol 😂
The funny thing about the last story is it’s technically the husband’s fault. The mom only provides an X chromosome. The dad has to provide a y chromosome
Adam, Eve and Lilith?? Is that a coincidence ??
If someone told me they were naming their kid my name I'd be begging them not to only because it's a horrible name that many people can't pronounce.
Now I’m curious what your name is.
@@sailorluna4000Big same lol
Are we able to watch the live show on RUclips afterward if we don’t catch it live? Or is it only live and that’s it?
you can watch it afterwards!:)
@@fortunae7006yay thank you!
Last story is ridiculous, i have two brothers who share almost no hobbies with my dad. Weareas I share many with him, skating, gardening, cooking, coffee, he even taught me how to repair damaged walls and furniture and how to change the sockets and even drill the walls, how to sew and draw. My brothers do have some common things they do with my dad such as video games, and gym and one of them has learned how to cook while the other not. But, i share a lot more with him, he loves us all the same, he and i just have similar personalities! Also note how his hobbies aren't all traditionally manly ie sewing drawing. The dude in the story just sucks, op should get a divorce!
On the title story- If a father doesn't have a Darrin Stephen's reaction (from tv show Bewitched) when he found out he was the father of a girl- bawling in the waiting room and hugging his justnomil from happiness- he's not worthy to be a father of any child. 🤦🏾♂️ Sure, he would have liked a boy, but as soon as he found out he was having a girl, he had the best attitude about it, even agreeing to a name his witch mil suggested. I hope OP leaves him and drains him dry!
ruclips.net/video/PBDSwiCen9Y/видео.htmlsi=C8NDZEM2dbRCbaub
never clicked on a youtube video so fast!!! i hope this gets me thru the longest work day of my life
Doting rhymes with Tote-ing
The story about Lilith I had a whole different take. She needs therapy and not enablement. I get that she's going through a rough time, that's why she needs therapy, but it sounds like her thinking the unborn baby is hers could lead down a dark road, even to her actually believing that child is hers. So I'd be very very careful with that.
I am SO ready for jine merch!
Like for me I want a son first only cause I've had a name picked out since I was younger 😂😂, like if I ever had a kids I wouldn't care if they were a boy or girl I would just want a healthy baby. I would only prefer a boy since the baby name is already chosen and I wouldn't have to look.😂😂
19:08 I just caught the names and Op is diabolical
K so I have mixed emotions on story number 2. I do think op is an ah for sure. But I think it may stem from maybe not knowing that they are a throuple. It still doesn't change that it isn't his business but I think it's normal to kind of question why this person seems to be so involved in a situation that doesn't actually involve them. He's definitely going about this ALL THE WRONG WAY 😂
Calling the third woman “Lilith” while the other two are Adam and Eve is major shade/judgment being thrown. (It’s a biblical/Abrahamic faith reference. Lilith is the name of the first woman and she is turned into a demon). I don’t think op cares to understand their situation, throuple or not. It’s not OPs business.
Sean intro/outros are my favorite
The last story. I feel for the mother . And question: isn’t the sperm the determining factor of if the child is a boy or girl? If it is , how is he mad at her ?!
He is dumb
Oh it absolutely is.
Women have XX, and men are XY.
So yeah, it's always on the guy which gender you get on a baby.
Me named Kaytlynn during story 4 🥲😳
I was hoping we were having a girl because I was obsessed with our girl name but I wouldn’t go back and change anything my son is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I couldn’t imagine spending my life raising anyone else❤ you’re allowed to hope for one gender and gender disappointment is a thing but how you handle it is ON YOU! You don’t deserve a child if you loving them hinges on something as wholly unimportant in the grand scheme of a parent child relationship as gender 😢 because it’s giving would not love his son if he had one if he came out as part of the lgbtqia+ community or anything else that isn’t “traditionally masculine” because he wouldn’t be the son he imagined he would be anymore🤡
30:46 that’s oddly specific 🤨😒
31:04 closer to the real reason because the first was obvious BS
That husband in the last story never even considered that he could have a Trans Man as a kid smh…
I'm not against testing, but not maliciously. I just watch too many crime shows and wanna be sure the kid I took home was actually mine.
I'm a daddys little girl and my brother was a mommy's boy.
Why is the teenage son not in your wedding party???
I think they should get the paternity test. Just to know for absolute sure. A sliver of doubt could have him hold back in his parenting. I watch a lot of paternity court… it’s always just better to know as early as possible.
What the weird AH one meant is that he eould be the AH to himself if he marries her and the last story has very good updates thank god you guys should read the updates on that one at least that would be cool!
I love the guys, but them constantly saying “im not diagnosing, but this guy is a narcissist”
That is not diagnosing, that’s using a mental disorder as an insult.
yea, I wish they would change the language to narcissistic behavior or smth bc you can be narcissistic without having NPD
Disagree
@@Cissy777 Why?
@@lazarus9581 because they are not using it as an insult
@@Cissy777 It doesnt matter the intent, if you are calling someone a narcissist in response to them doing something shitty, you are implying people with NPD do shitty stuff
I don't remember if I commented this or not (either way, more engagement for you guys).
But having a child isn't really ever (imo) a good idea to try and mend relationships with people you've cut off (OP's mother in this case).
Because what has the mother done to improve as a person and be better towards OPs brother? Nothing. So why should the child have a homoph*bic pos in their life?
It's not worth it.
Also, having grandparents in your life isn't everything.
Plenty of people grew up not having them are are fine and doing well.
S2 how does what Adam, Eve and Lilith do affect OP? OP is completely TA
The sperm chooses the sex of the baby. It's literally his own fault he can't have a son.
JINE! 🎉
What does the Wiki part stand for??? I'm always asked this 😅
Hm. Not wanting son at wedding: Not the asshole obviously. Id heard this story before and realized Id assuned the son wasn't a special needs child who would require supervision at this event. Or has he (the child) stated at some point that he planned on ruining it? What Im getting at is there's an assumption that the son is well adjusted, well behaved, etc and NOT a Dennis the Menance or worse, and while her comments are unhinged, the idea that theyre only just now unhinged seems hinky to me, making me wonder if that's fabrication to drive the point home, if theyve been ignored or excused up tol now, etc. I realize its a bit devils advocate-like, but the stories with a clear villian next to question AITA always make me suspicious, and give manipulating vibes.
He says she knows he is a well behaved kid. She is just an evil stepmother. Unfortunately there are lots of step-parents who think they can "get rid" of kids after marriage.
Annnd there we go. Demonizing and invoking OCD without understanding it or even bothering to try to understand it. Classic reddit
I'm gonna Vocab police here... I heard it said twice now... Doting is pronounced dOHting. Thanks!
The first story op is sooooo mean like what kind of person is this that just hates fat women
Too bad y’all didn’t pick Dallas!
you keep saying doting wrong, its pronounced like doe-ting, just saying
Ugh gawd... Tawd...
I'm sorry but Lilith is weird and clingy and they should be cautious of her. She seems very depressed and has attached herself to their pregnancy AFTER hearing news that she will NEVER have one herself.
I definitely see a disturbing lack of boundaries. The in-laws also seem to enable her not bettering herself. But what do I know, just spent too much on therapy I guess
They clearly have an established relationship from before all this that's fully accepted amongst them and their networks. Why are you guys listening to the one naysayer in the room very obviously painting an unfavorable image of this woman?
Crazy thought: us as birth givers should do a paternity test for the father of the child because they dont have a guaranteed way of knowing its their child. There have been too many instances of passing off a kid as the wrong fathers child and i think its so wrong. I do say this as a mom of a 9 year old child. I would 100% do that for any other kids i have in the future as well.
Story 2: Hm. In this particular situation I would say the OP is NTA, or NAH. Lilith needs help, she obviously has a lot of trauma in life and - understandably so - that's probably why she tries to grab onto anything or anyone that'll make her feel better. Sure, OP could've just chosen to NOT voice his opinion in that particular way because it was a rude way of doing so.
The brother and wife are very kind for letting Lilith stay with them, however they are not doing Lilith any favours whatsoever by letting her pretend that that's her child. So ultimately they're doing her a disservice if they chose to go through with it. Putting a sticking plaster on a gaping wound won't actually solve the fundamental issue(s) Lilith has.
PS: I love you guy's videos!❤️
Story 1: NTA. As a woman i think OP is not the asshole. You can trust your partner but if you will worry all the time you can better do a paternity test to know for sure. If the wife didnt cheat, why is it a issue? The results come back positive and your husband is happy..
I'm sorry you guys I don't agree I don't think it's a wonderful thing to have this lady parent in this child's life being there and loving the child is wonderful. Having two parents can be hard enough with two different opinions let alone 3. I don't think that it's fair for the child to have this extra mom and extra opinion that really has no right to have an opinion or parent the child. I don't see how these parents are okay with this lady parenting their child unless they're in a relationship with her altogether but even then they need to parent the child not her because I can guarantee you when the child is able to talk they are going to wish Lilith wasn't around.
So stepparents are bad too?
I assume they are in a relationship with each other and the fact there are three of them shouldn’t affect the child at all. Parents should keep their problems away from the kids and these three parents should be able to do it just as well as two parents or four step parents (also not all families have big arguments about how to raise children anyway)
Kids will have other parental figures whether it be aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers, coaches, etc, regardless of their parents, so what you are saying is moot.
All the father had to do in the first story was test the child behind her back and then tear up the results once he eased his mind. It is only situations like this where I would condone something like going behind your spouses back. But I think it would have saved his wife the heartache and it would have given him the relief he is desperately searching for.
It won't help. he needs therapy if he trusts his wife then he needs to trust his wife.
If he did that he would spiral. First is one paternity test, then a second to confirm then a third to make sure then tracking his wife everywhere just in case, then go back to taking paternity tests every time thew kid isn't a carbon copy of him. He has no reason to need a paternity test, what he needs is therapy.
It wouldn't help. It would temporarily delay him destructing his own relationship and self sabotaging.
You don't seem to understand there's no reasonable or logical basis for his fear: the basis for his fear is TRAUMA-INFORMED.
His wife taking test after unnecessary test to "prove" she's a good person will NEVER be enough for him because he's not addressing the basis of his actual issues: HIS TRAUMA.
He'd convince himself she somehow knew about the test and faked the results. He'd end up accusing her of cheating and faking the test results.
He NEEDS to go to fsking therapy to address his trauma from his mom cheating and lying to his dad.
That's the only way: putting in the work to realize his wife isn't guilty of his mother's mistakes.
Right now, he's "punishing" his wife for what his mother did.
It's abusive as all hell.
First Story: Honestly, I think paternity tests should just be mandatory. Paternity Fraud should be an easily preventable crime, but instead it's a crime the people commiting it often get away with.
But for this guy, I think he needs therapy more than a test, as a paternity test wouldn't even prove that she didn't cheat (not that I think she did). It would only prove whether or not the kid is his. And this is the sort of conversation that's better had BEFORE the pregnancy. Not during or after.
Until systems are out in place to protect victims or potential victims of paternity Fraud, as well as systems that will punish those that commit it. I can't blame any man trying to protect himself from it.
Mandatory paternity tests would be a logistics nightmare on already understaffed hospitals and clinics. Not to mention the gates it would open to violate people's privacy, medical records, and to discriminate against adoption and donor cases.
Paternity fraud is not common at all, it's actually incredible rare. You know what's very common though? Men having affairs and getting mistresses pregnant and having whole second families. So much so that men having a second family is a whole trope in media!
Ultimately you have to trust your partner, if you don't then you don't have kids.
@@morphinpinkyeah, the extra cost because men just won't let women have their thing, the government overreach and surveillance, the creation of a systemic mysogynistic assumption that all women are immoral malicious beings, the huge chances of malicious or accidental poor answers, or the chaos a gender equal standard would cause. Do you think these men whining over maternity test would like it if an equitable solution was formed? I can just imagine a genetic parent registry being formed to stop this "secret/hidden baby" debacle; they'll be foul now bringing up all these problems with the idea.
@@morphinpink You realize the reason why it's often not caught is because of the stigma around paternity tests right? And you gotta love the casual "well men are actually the ones cheating" you just slid in.
And even then, I never said it was common. I said it was easy to get away with due to lack of enforcement, prevention, and punishment.
Get into the stories fasterrrrr the intro so long
I agree with you guys 90% of the time but your take on the first story is insane. Your partner comes to you because of very real and rational worry based on his life experience. You can put all that worry to rest within days with a simple test and you refuse? You're either a) a selfish prick or b) you're worried what that test is going to show. Either of which are red flags.
But at this point, it doesn't sound like the test would work. He says he trusts his partner and does not believe they cheated (so therefore should believe the baby is his) but wants a test anyway.
Wouldn't be surprised if he got the paternity test declaring him the father, but soon after started getting intrusive thoughts about how the test was switched or faulty.
His issue isn't with the reality of the situation, it is with his past trauma. The test will not actually solve that.
But a paternity test only proves he got her pregnant. Doesn't mean she isn't cheating. There are all kinds of intrusive thoughts he could still have. If he doesn't deal with the root cause he is gonna keep torturing her with his doubts.
Without even starting the first story, no he is not the asshole. Wanting a DNA test is not an accusation of cheating. It is a man's right to have proof that the his child is his. DNA tests to determine fatherhood should be an automatic done at the hospital when a child is born, not something a man should have to ask for.
After the story: Hard no on being the asshole.
You might need therapy too
@@ashleyduckworthyt3224 already going but that has zero to do with my opinion on this.
am i the bad apple is rebecca rogers / rrogersworld 's subreddit. she dies aita like content, but it started teacher based cause she used to be a school teacher ie; good apple, bad apple, crab apple! 😊