My parents have been happily married for thirty five years and if there is one thing that I’ve learned watching them, it’s that there is no life hack that can guarantee a successful marriage. The only way marriage can work is if both spouses (emphasis on both) are in agreement that they are going to do what it takes to make it work. My parents have been through the better and worse, richer and poorer and sickness and health but they’re still together after all of that because they want to be together. You can learn everything you can about a person by living with them or dating for a long period of time but none of that will matter if you both aren’t willing to do what it takes to make a marriage work.
I agree with MC Lyte. If it's going to work then it's going to work whether you decide to move in before marriage or not. Whichever option you chose you just want to make sure that you guys have good and solid relationship fundamentals like communication, trust, respect etc. That's what really determines whether things will work out or not.
My wife and I were friends for three years first. Then, we dated for 51 weeks but still lived at our own parents' houses because both our cultural backgrounds forbid us to live together before marriage.... 15 years, 2 kids, 2 dogs later... so glad we waited. I think being friends first made our relationship work ❤😇
@@constancereynolds3110 no, neither of our cultures are, but in saying that, we knew numerous amounts of people who, per se 'broke the rules' or "Try before you buy"
I’m not shacking up with nobody unless we’re married. I’m not Netflix, I don’t give free trials!! Girls please respect yourselves, don’t let guys use you like that.
My soon to be ex husband and I didn’t live together before marriage and let me tell you, there are certain things a dishonest and emotionally unhealthy person can hide about their personality when you are not seeing them every day. It’s easy to be on your best behaviour or play a role when you only see someone for a couple of hours each week.
I’m sorry you had to go through that but I hope you know that if a person is determined to deceive you that’s exactly what they’ll do. Even if you lived with your ex before you got married he was still aware that you could have just left so it wouldn’t have benefited him to show his true colors until you were married.
@@lynne709 it’s harder to hide true colours when you live together. So OP could have had a better chance of catching the truth before marriage and then not have to go through a divorce.
@@Hknktd my mother is an ordained minister and for the past twenty years she has counseled both married and engaged couples at our church. Some of the engaged couples have lived together and some haven’t but regardless of the living situation, there is always a bombshell piece of information that is revealed during the counseling that could potentially be a dealbreaker. The reason for that is people hide what they want to hide. If you’ve made a decision that you’re not going to let someone see the real you you will be successful whether you live with them or not. It may be harder to hide when you live with the person but it’s still possible. People need to stop accepting blame for the trauma that someone else inflicted on them. If you fall in love with someone who deceives you that’s on them and only them.
Yea I agree. I'll take my chances and live together when I'm married 💍 I'm definitely not going to be doing wife duties cause he'll get comfortable with it and the idea of shacking up
Ladies I agree with both of you. I made that mistake. The marriage never came. I rather wait until marriage than move in with him. However my ex did get married. He did live with her and kids before marriage. It financial reasons why they did live with each other more on her. She had nothing at all. I say that say it was a blessing. He doing that hard struggle love. She not helping him. I’m good over here. I never needed him for my livelihood she does. I have always taken care of myself. All of us ladies should always bring something to the table. If your in a bad situation you can always leave.
Thank you! That’s what people are missing the point! Don’t act like a wife when you have the girlfriend title! I am not cooking and cleaning for no dude and he’s not my husband. I see so many women that move in with the guy and it’s 10-15 years later and you still a girlfriend and not the wife smh 🤦🏾♀️
I grew up in a household where it was strictly forbidden to live with your partner before marriage, HOWEVER…in this day and age I can absolutely see why people would want to live together before marriage. It’s such a huge risk and adjustment and it’s nice to know what you are getting yourself into before you’re legally bound to be together - because that definitely adds more stress once it’s too late to leave without divorcing.
I had friends that came from super strict households about that. But they made their own money and were living alone with parents in other states .To get around things, they would live with their boyfriends for certain amount of time sometimes 2 weeks or sometimes 1 week to see how it was to live with their boyfriends . One friend lived with bf as a trial run for 3 months, and still paid rent on her own apartment. But in her case it was VERY important she tried living with that boyfriend to realize she didn’t want to be with him! I mean people can hide there true selves from you before a marriage and treat u differently or act different. A person can be unbearable to live with lol. Also it’s good to see how a person manages their finances when u share stuff.But at the end of the day I like the whole idea of a ring and a date idea before u move in
One of the cons that isn't discussed enough is law suits. When unmarried couples go to court looking for compensation, they are quickly denied since there weren't contracts or sufficient evidence of just compensation (Large items like homes and cars are exceptions). The court was not made for boyfriends & girlfriends. Move in at your own risk.
People should just get prenups So that their assets can be divided fairly and as they agreed in the case of a divorce. Youre not entitled to just claim youre suposeses property and assets. I would let somoen touch my property. Never get married without a prenup.
Marrying someone and being locked in a commitment before knowing what it’s like to live with them first has always seemed crazy to me. Living with some takes the full veil off. There’s no hiding yourself 24/7 and experiencing someone’s true self for the first time AFTER you’ve already agreed to commit just doesn’t make sense in my opinion.
I am down to live with my fiance but not my boyfriend. Like in a long-term committed relationship with somebody, I know very well that can feel safe, trusted, and loved and that we have marriage ahead, not a super long engagement. You can't trust men these days. I agree that living with somebody is a very different experience. Still, It can also help them by being observant, and analyzing their habits and morals can tell you a lot about that person.
I've seen too many folks get too comfortable with just living together and one person is stuck for years waiting to get married because they're told "we'll live together and we'll get married in a couple years." And it don't ever come 🥴
I totally get why some people would like to live together before marriage, but I can only think, that it will take the excitement away when it’s time to get married. The only thing that will change is your last name at that point, which is why when couples live together, many times marriage never comes. I think there’s phases in relationships for a reason and I would love to enjoy each phase: dating, bf/gf, engaged and then marriage. Moving in together should be a fun process when engaged/married. I think doing so too soon takes the excitement away in my opinion.
100% think it’s ok to live together before being married. You should know who you’re marrying. Religion likes to do a lot of things to control us but you have to do what’s right for you and getting married is a huge legally binding commitment that’s very expensive (literally and emotionally) to undo.
Living together is not going to prepared you to have successful marriage period.Areias’s and living together are very things and you it will surprise you and it’s not controlling because God made a marriage to join together but the world wants to do whatever wants and then have to deal with consequences later, that’s why there too much divorces
MC.LYTE you were really on point when you mentioned what your pastor said and Lani quickly cut you off thinking she is smart because she didn't want to hear that part. Your pastor was right wait until you are married before you have sex. One of The reason why most couples get divorce after marriage is because we have already defiled the bed with the same person or with a different person before we got married to them and then we forget about serving the Lord genuinely and repenting and being obedience to his ward, instead we start to live our lives according to what we want and not God s way. So the hedge is broken and the serpent then bites. MC Lyte you are on the right path please don't change your mind no matter what anyone says. God will back you up. 🙏
Just because you don't agree with Loni (I don't either) does not mean she is not smart. You can disagree with someone without insulting their intelligence.
@@Lisa-W My Dear you don't love Loni more than I do trust me I say what it is for me at the time, you can go on ahead and hail her there and don't get yourself worked up about what I wrote, it won't stop me.
The question seems to assume marriage is the end result, but I don’t think everyone that moves in together necessarily is thinking marriage as the goal, especially these days where marriage isn’t a necessity like it was in the past. And worse case scenario with a break up, it’s still less messy for an unmarried couple to end things and fight about a lease and some possessions, then it is to get a divorce and fight about everything and drag on for years, affecting every aspect of your life.
I think that was the point of conversation tho Obviously there are women on the panel that are not married or want to be married This discussion is for those who plan to get married.. it’s not saying that has to be the end goal for everyone
Thanks for answering my question, ladies! For context, I’m 24 & he’s 27- I’m Hispanic and he’s white- we have different customs. He’s not pushing me at all! But I’ve been thinking about the pros and cons here. I like MC Lyte’s advice “when you’re married, act it & when you’re single, act it.”!
I see nothing wrong with a couple living together before marriage, my cousin did it and it worked out well for her and her now husband. It gives you insight into what you are getting yourself into, what you can stand about each other v/s what you can't. It prepares you for the next step.
Sometimes living together before marriage can keep you in the relationship longer than you should have been in it because you don't feel like going through the adjustment of a break up and moving etc.
i love how MC lyt dont play. she straight up spoke about the biblical view. she didnt try to sugar coat it coz Garcelle had given her worldly opinion. yet she was also able to discuss things on a worldly level with the sex and the city bit
I got pregnant at 22. Moved in with my then-boyfriend at 6 months preggo, got married when our baby was 2 months old. We've been together 8 years, married for 7, and now have a total of 3 kids. They say year 7 is when most couples divorce lol. But we're stronger than ever!!!
I think people should just date in a smarter way, without rushing anything. Spend time with him and his friends, spend time with him and his family, get to know his inner circle. All this will give you important information. Look at the family background, his financial discipline, his ambitions, your core values vs. his. etc.
Nope. I don't judge others for doing it but no. It's a mutual respect thing for me. I also don't feel like it's right to trial run a person. That's not to say that it's not risky to marry, but if you're not willing to take the risk, don't get married at all. People are crazy out here 🤣🤣
The red flags you ignore now will be the reason you break up later 💯. If we cant properly cohabitate together, why would you want to get married and spend the rest of your life with that person? You could love each other so much but then time you move in you cant stand each other. Each person can still have their own place, but occasionally you can spend weekends or holidays together so that way you can see what their living habits are like but still having your own space to go home to in case things don’t work out. And if each person still has their own place there’s no reason to fight over money and have this worry that you are stuck with a lease. If you decide it doesn’t work everyone can go their own separate way easily, but divorce is harder and a much lengthier process. You wanna know the good, bad and the ugly when choosing to marry a person.
I think the people who have a problem with this are those who have more traditional way of thinking ! Cuz back in the day it was looked down upon to be living in the same space with someone ur dating and not married to! But now it’s seen as a more open minded way of getting to know ur partner before u get married! Cuz I wanna know ur habits when ur in the house… do u take off ur shoes when u come in the front door… do u show before u go to bed or after u wake up… do u snore… I need to know it all !
EXACTLY. And there are more factors to consider now than ever before in the history of relationships. Ex: there is way less trust in this generation. More room to cheat easily. More options with the click of a finger. Less judgement if there is a divorce. Less people putting up with abusive relationships. Etc etc etc…Just a bunch of reasons why it makes more sense to do a trial run of living together.
The thing is whether you snore, shower at night or in the morning, etc...none of those are valid reasons for a marriage not working out anyway. It's not a make or break when it comes down to things. If you aren't aligned fundamentally on values that is when the marriage breaks down not these petty habits.
The main con I see, if things don’t work out. Usually, financial they are not able to go they separate ways. A situation you never want to put yourself in
This is a con in any living situation where the people have Grown Apart but have to stay together because of the financial situation whether it be husband and wife or brother and sister or even best friends
Last year I spent a week on vacation with my bf of a few months. That was my first time ever cohabitating with a guy and honestly I’m glad for having that experience. Being with someone for 24 hours, cleaning and cooking etc showed me a lot. I grew up in an extremely strict household but this notion of waiting for marriage to do things, to live together is just more risky. Having experienced being sexually incompatible with someone, I think it’s important to know that beforehand.
It’s better to get to know ur partner while living with them imo bc then you’ll know their habits and how they take care of things! People just marry to marry without actually knowing how a person lives
Me laughing in Muslim 😂😂. We're not cohabiting NOWHERE without marriage fam. Religiously conservative folk (of any religion) where you at? Do you agree/disagree?
I'm religious and not even conservative like that but I don't want to live with any men before marriage. All that stress just for a boyfriend lol thanks. It's always complicated to adjust to someone else way of living and I want to do it for my husband.
I am confused when couples live together for 3 years, 5 years, 9 years ... get married and than divorced in a year or 2 🤔 I don't get it. What changed?
Everyone will have their own opinions based on their experience ...do what works for you. There is honestly no golden rule or guarantee a relationship will work out in the long haul.
I'm with Lyte on this moving in together concept. Till date, and despite the many pros I've heard like what Loni read, I still don't get the need to do that if you aren't married. I don't think marriage is an institution that can be rehearsed. I believe it takes divine grace and guidance, genuine love, dedication, diligence, and ability to compromise by each party to the union. If you feel you both aren't ready to apply all the above, then don't deceive yourselves living together in the name of rehearsal; unless of course, the 2 of you have decided not to ever get married but to remain informal life partners. This is my opinion.
I don't believe in playing house. We can live together when we're married. You have to make it work and everything work when you're married that is the deal that is till death do us part.
I absolutely agree with living with your boyfriend or fiancé before getting married. I’m not saying you have to be intimate if your not ready for that. There can be boundaries. But I believe you don’t fully learn about someone until you on your own together. You learn a lot about someone. And you may find out you may not like someone that much afterwards. It may sound stupid but we all have our own little things that can annoy someone that can be a big issue for others. And you may find out you not really ready or want to marry that person. To me it’s better to find out then to get married and realize you can’t handle it
I honestly believe you need to live with someone in order to really get to know them. You get to see how they’re living, how they take care of their responsibilities, etc.
I think it's normal to move in together me and my partner have been together for 5 years and lived together for 3, I'm 20 and he's 22 also in the U.K. And we are not engaged but he got me out of a horrible home life we have never had any serious issues with each other and it's made us closer marriage isn't everything, I can't wait till we are married but there is no rush
I wouldn’t want to live with my boyfriend because who’s to say if we end up breaking up our names are on the lease we would have to be “roommates “ until the lease is up
@@bri1474 Breakups happen more often than divorces. You will probably date and break up with several people before getting married. We all know marriage is not a guarantee that the relationship will work out, but it is more of a commitment than dating.
@@gaila.9852 I know this. But I'm saying most divorces end in divorce as well, even if more breakups happen than divorce. Divorce is always legally binding, whereas breakups are not.
@@bri1474 divorced couples don’t just split up. Usually the separation was a long time coming and it gives the spouses time to make a plan for what they will do if they divorce. You sign up for a lifetime partnership when you get married so you just know if you want to dissolve that partnership, it will take time just like it took time to build the partnership. If you’re just dating why would you want to go through all of that especially when there isn’t a court system set up to help you settle your property disputes like there is for married people?
My 1st marriage was a mess. We met at 15, started dating at 20. Engaged at 22, married at 23 (both Catholic Virgins on our wedding day). 1st daughter at 24, 2ed at 26 divorced at 27. I met my current husband the same year. At 28 we were living together. We lived together for 2 1/2 years be4 I got pregnant with our 1st. At 30 I had our son, 32 we had our daughter. At 35 we got married. Been married 12 years together almost 17. We have our ups n downs but were n it for the long haul. Living together did help us b4 marriage. I needed time, because I had just gotten divorced when met. It took me some years to get myself together, n love myself again. So I dont think it matters at the start as long as the middle n the end is what u want.
Living together before marriage doesn’t automatically mean you’re at a gf/bf level. It could be that you’re engaged and not married yet. I do agree that it’s good to know what kind of person you’ll be dealing with 24/7 before binding each other with marriage plus it’s easier to just give the ring back and walk away if you feel that they’re not the one for you vs getting a divorce to leave a marriage. I totally agree with the as long as you’re at least engaged approach.
You don’t necessarily have to do wife duties living with your boyfriend. If he’s a good boyfriend, and understands your boundaries he wouldn’t expect it from you. I live with my boyfriend, we both work, we take turns cooking and doing house chores. We work as a team. Once we get married, I will then choose to step up a bit in those areas. But you can control your own narrative. With the right man it can all be simple.
@@ashleyshadea3684 But she doesn’t want to “take turns” doing any of those duties that you mentioned for someone that isn’t her husband. That is literally her point.
@@justafanfave228 I offered a different perspective, and you’re obviously missing my point. Taking turns isn’t “Wifely duties”, that’s a partnership. All I’m saying is you don’t have to have “duties” in your relationship before marriage. you can set those boundaries while living together. And if you feel as though your definition of being a wife is cooking and cleaning for your husband. Then do it when your married. But you can still live together and not do that. What’s so hard to comprehend ?
@@ashleyshadea3684 What is not clicking? Everything domestic is off the table until marriage. It is completely fine if some people want to do that but some of us don’t want to do chores “partnership” with a man who we are not really committed to.
If you decide to live with your partner because it’s cheaper it doesn’t make sense because when you’re married it will be cheaper anyways. Just shows that your living together for convenience. You’ll just end of living with everyone you date when it doesn’t work out with the previous person
The idea of either don't live together completely or live together for a very long time before marriage is both wrong. First, there are lot of things you don't know about a person till you live under one roof with them. For example, I didn't know that my ex wife never ever want to clean her home even after being married. During dating, every time we had sex in her bedroom, the room was always neat and clean. Also, her house was super clean. But after marriage, I learned that her mom did all the cleaning for her. Another things, she had no concept of family finance. During dating, I was the one who foot the bills most of the time when we were out. So I really didn't know how she handled her finance. But after marriage, I found out that she is the type of person who would spend $99 for every $100 she earned from her job. She never ever safe much for raining days. How could you have a marriage life with someone who does not clean, does not cook and spend every penny you have earned from your job? So, please share a life together for sometime before deciding if the person is marriage material.
I agree, you need to know all of those important details. I am sorry you had a terrible experience. I agree with living together before marriage as long as there is a strong sense of commitment or a formal commitment like engagement( not very long years) I believe you can know a whole bunch of things about a person while dating, but as you said, some people hide it and that freaking sucks.
I highly suggest that people do not move in with their partners if they know they want to marry them, but give it a shot if you want to. I know every relationship is different, and some people do not want to get married at all.
There is no con to living together before marriage. “Dulling” a relationship before marriage is stupid because if you were gonna tire of them in so little time before marriage, you will during it and divorce is a dumb bitxh. You see who ppl really are when you live with them. I’m with Garcelle on her stance with kids, that makes sense. But all that other stuff except for religious reasons I guess, is not realistic
This must be an American thing because in England you date, become boyfriend and girlfriend, move in together, get engaged, married but people don’t even care to get married anymore because wits just a contract. Live with the person for at least a year before you get married
Yes to all this, but for me is to get engaged or plans to get married, and move out together. I am not just gonna live with any boyfriend, I have to know him well, we have a healthy relashionship and clear goals, and also make sure we are committed 100% and a good fit for each other before making such a huge investment. I don't wanna be moving in and out every time I break up with a boyfriend or be forced to stay in a toxic relashionship just because we live together, or him making me a forever girlfriend, or over-invest in a person that was just not meant to be.
You need to live with a person to experience their true energy mixed with yours. That goes for romantic or friendships etc. That's why they say dont live with friends lol cause in some cases it'll end after that vs living with an acquaintance or stranger and actually building a bond and becoming closer as a result.
I live with my partner now and we're not married and it works out.. I don't feel married which is good because I'm not sure if I want to marry yet.. I feel like I learned more about him living together than not living together and I feel like we're just like any other dating couple.. Also, we had a long-distance relationship and I moved here to try the relationship out so I essentially had nowhere to go so we moved in together.. Just see what works for you and your circumstances... I would usually say not to move in together before you guys are engaged/married or been dating for at least 1 year... But under my circumstances, we just fell into it. 🤷🏻♀
Im with Garcelle a ring and date! Also make sure you guys have been dating for atleast a year and then live with that person for atleast a year before you get married.
I refuse to move in with a guy and act like a wife with a girlfriend title! Nope! I see so many women move in with a guy and they never marry them! It’s 10-15 years later and now kids are in the picture and no marriage.
My mama always told me to never stay with a person before marriage and I never have. My brothers did with their significant others though. 1 couple is fine and the other is going through divorce. So it just depends on the people
The pro is you get a Quick Fix for your needs for a partner. Cons are a whole lot. Most important,your partner has not been Vetted by your Family and Friends. He could be having serious faults you may've overlooked with the romantic waves sweeping over your mind 🤔🤔
If it's foolish to do it for marriage it is also foolish to do it for boyfriend girlfriend . In both situations living together should be a gradual progression. And I love what you said about being vetted by people other than yourself because of your emotional ties to the individual
Moving in doesn't make a difference in divorce rates. People who don't move in have lower rates of divorce. Correlation does not equal causation though.
Anyway, I think the person who gets the bad deal out of a cohabiting situation is usually the woman. I have often heard 👂 women complain that their time was wasted because many of them start living with a man with the hope of marriage 💑 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
3:01 The assumption is that living with someone for TWO years is ENOUGH to know them? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 . People grow and evolve. The man you cohabit with for two years may become a totally different person once he becomes a father or once his financial situation changes etc. Anyway, what do statistics show, do couples who cohabit stay longer in marriage?
This screams American to me. I’ve noticed Americans have the tendency of getting married very quickly (after 1 year of dating) and are less likely to live together before marriage. Personally I first of all want to get to know you well so I for sure won’t marry you after short time, but I also definitely need to live with you before. It’s also much smoother process and makes it less hard to adapt to the changes
What’s country are u from? I realize that too. Some people get lucky and marry the right person when the marry right away but i think the divorce rate is so high because so many people get married to the person straight away, whether having moved in with them or not. They even be moving in too early and that’s how u end up living with so many different people before you get married. U need to take time to know the person first.
I think living with someone before marriage is okay if it is a serious relationship and you see a future with that person. I don’t see why people still continue to judge people for that. Some people don’t believe in marriage but still want to be in a long term relationship .
So you want have a girlfriend title the rest of your life, you see that’s the problem olot of women don’t know there worth and value, they want a be wife but they are treating as a girlfriend that’s just dumb! Girl know your worth
@@melissacalderon1515 girl what are you talking about ? Did you even read my comment? I clearly stated that I don’t see anything wrong with living with a partner before marriage if it’s a serious relationship meaning both parties involved are in it for long term. If one person really wants to get married but the other one doesn’t then no it’s not a good idea. To each their own. And I am married by the way so idk why you are assuming things. And lastly , just because someone chooses to not marry doesn’t mean they “don’t know their worth.”
I had an incredible opportunity to see MC Lyte's brothers perform before she even became an artists. Check your hip hop history. Also to see her on a discussion panel along side, Eva Garcelle and other's at a women's conference in Baltimore Maryland. She is beautiful and intelligent.
If it was me. definitely wait for the ring. Also depends if he was living in his parent's house or on his own. I don't want to end up like the maid or have a pig stye since I don't clean much. Learn more before marriage what the person is like. Better break up before than after married or just suffer. Especially for the kids if you end up with a lazy, inconsiderate spoiled brat. Technically live together but not tell the older generation who has those views.
This is a quote from my grandmother why buy the cow when you can get the milk free, sex will always complicate a relationship if a man really wants you and you really want him before you get into any sexual activity you need to find out what you are dealing with.
I would rather live with them first before we spend all that money on a wedding and you realize who they truly are because people can hide themselves if your not living with them they could have bodies in they basement or something or don’t like to clean or their very controlling.
I’m single been single for a long time idk if I wanna be married but if I did I’m moving in together first because I need to see how you are around me 24/7 how are you around your family and friends and I mean how u really are not that fake Façade that everyone puts on in the beginning of the relationship Idk why some people look at marriage as a concrete commitment when half of marriages end divorce some married people out here thinking there partner is fully committed to them and they really arnt js I’d rather move in first and at least know what I’m getting into and see if your even worth marrying
Loni I Love You but, GOD Blesses a Marriage. Shacking makes You Obligated to do duties of a Married yet no real commitment. Once You give Your All then that person can bounce & Marry the next who didn’t Give in.
Unfortunately she is a phone by boozing her child to a miscarriage She punched her herself and she taken James her white boyfriend #reverse racism just like Candace Owens and Rachel Lindsay
I’d like to see a host on here who is not traditional, doesn’t make things about religion, and that doesn’t expect marriage to be the next step. We are in a new time y’all. Some of us don’t want to marry
what about if they have sex and she is pregnant? but my mom and dad were living together and then my mom got pregnant with me and mom, s uncle told her you guys need to get married. And then they did.
My ex moved In with me and I found out some of the most disgusting things he would do.. he liked to sleep naked.. no problem.. but every morning when he woke he was stretch and let out a loud obnoxious fart in my sheets.. so poop products in my clean sheets !!!!!!!!!!! I called him out on it several times.. asked hill to go into the bathroom and a clear his bowels.. to stop doing it bare ass on my sheets.. his response was “well I come from a farting family” needless to say, I literally kicked him out of my bed the next morning he did it! 🤢🤮
I think it goes both ways, men can say the same thing. Anyway most (not saying everybody) people have sex before marriage anyway so more than anything it’s just for conservatism and not religious purposes.
My parents have been happily married for thirty five years and if there is one thing that I’ve learned watching them, it’s that there is no life hack that can guarantee a successful marriage. The only way marriage can work is if both spouses (emphasis on both) are in agreement that they are going to do what it takes to make it work. My parents have been through the better and worse, richer and poorer and sickness and health but they’re still together after all of that because they want to be together. You can learn everything you can about a person by living with them or dating for a long period of time but none of that will matter if you both aren’t willing to do what it takes to make a marriage work.
Damn this is good.
Well said 👏🏽💯
Perfectly said
Exactly!!!
Absolutely the truth I agree 50000%.
I agree with MC Lyte. If it's going to work then it's going to work whether you decide to move in before marriage or not. Whichever option you chose you just want to make sure that you guys have good and solid relationship fundamentals like communication, trust, respect etc. That's what really determines whether things will work out or not.
My wife and I were friends for three years first. Then, we dated for 51 weeks but still lived at our own parents' houses because both our cultural backgrounds forbid us to live together before marriage.... 15 years, 2 kids, 2 dogs later... so glad we waited. I think being friends first made our relationship work ❤😇
Question, is your culture for fornicating before marriage? Because if so it's a contradiction and hypocritical.
@@constancereynolds3110 what an interesting reaction...
@@constancereynolds3110 no, neither of our cultures are, but in saying that, we knew numerous amounts of people who, per se 'broke the rules' or "Try before you buy"
I’m not shacking up with nobody unless we’re married. I’m not Netflix, I don’t give free trials!! Girls please respect yourselves, don’t let guys use you like that.
My soon to be ex husband and I didn’t live together before marriage and let me tell you, there are certain things a dishonest and emotionally unhealthy person can hide about their personality when you are not seeing them every day. It’s easy to be on your best behaviour or play a role when you only see someone for a couple of hours each week.
I’m sorry you had to go through that but I hope you know that if a person is determined to deceive you that’s exactly what they’ll do. Even if you lived with your ex before you got married he was still aware that you could have just left so it wouldn’t have benefited him to show his true colors until you were married.
@@lynne709 it’s harder to hide true colours when you live together. So OP could have had a better chance of catching the truth before marriage and then not have to go through a divorce.
@@Hknktd my mother is an ordained minister and for the past twenty years she has counseled both married and engaged couples at our church. Some of the engaged couples have lived together and some haven’t but regardless of the living situation, there is always a bombshell piece of information that is revealed during the counseling that could potentially be a dealbreaker. The reason for that is people hide what they want to hide. If you’ve made a decision that you’re not going to let someone see the real you you will be successful whether you live with them or not. It may be harder to hide when you live with the person but it’s still possible. People need to stop accepting blame for the trauma that someone else inflicted on them. If you fall in love with someone who deceives you that’s on them and only them.
Not living with anyone before Marriage. Not doing wifey duties at girlfriend prices.
Yea I agree. I'll take my chances and live together when I'm married 💍 I'm definitely not going to be doing wife duties cause he'll get comfortable with it and the idea of shacking up
Ladies I agree with both of you. I made that mistake. The marriage never came. I rather wait until marriage than move in with him. However my ex did get married. He did live with her and kids before marriage. It financial reasons why they did live with each other more on her. She had nothing at all. I say that say it was a blessing. He doing that hard struggle love. She not helping him. I’m good over here. I never needed him for my livelihood she does. I have always taken care of myself. All of us ladies should always bring something to the table. If your in a bad situation you can always leave.
Say it louder for the people in the back 👏🏿
@ WB from the DMV there are two duties step up a husband and wife must take in order to bring out perfect harmony Union 🙏
Thank you! That’s what people are missing the point! Don’t act like a wife when you have the girlfriend title! I am not cooking and cleaning for no dude and he’s not my husband. I see so many women that move in with the guy and it’s 10-15 years later and you still a girlfriend and not the wife smh 🤦🏾♀️
People/couples need to do what fits them. There's no one size fits all to life. Do what works for YOU BOTH.
I grew up in a household where it was strictly forbidden to live with your partner before marriage, HOWEVER…in this day and age I can absolutely see why people would want to live together before marriage. It’s such a huge risk and adjustment and it’s nice to know what you are getting yourself into before you’re legally bound to be together - because that definitely adds more stress once it’s too late to leave without divorcing.
I had friends that came from super strict households about that. But they made their own money and were living alone with parents in other states .To get around things, they would live with their boyfriends for certain amount of time sometimes 2 weeks or sometimes 1 week to see how it was to live with their boyfriends . One friend lived with bf as a trial run for 3 months, and still paid rent on her own apartment. But in her case it was VERY important she tried living with that boyfriend to realize she didn’t want to be with him! I mean people can hide there true selves from you before a marriage and treat u differently or act different. A person can be unbearable to live with lol. Also it’s good to see how a person manages their finances when u share stuff.But at the end of the day I like the whole idea of a ring and a date idea before u move in
it has always been a risk
One of the cons that isn't discussed enough is law suits. When unmarried couples go to court looking for compensation, they are quickly denied since there weren't contracts or sufficient evidence of just compensation (Large items like homes and cars are exceptions). The court was not made for boyfriends & girlfriends. Move in at your own risk.
People should just get prenups So that their assets can be divided fairly and as they agreed in the case of a divorce. Youre not entitled to just claim youre suposeses property and assets. I would let somoen touch my property. Never get married without a prenup.
Marrying someone and being locked in a commitment before knowing what it’s like to live with them first has always seemed crazy to me. Living with some takes the full veil off. There’s no hiding yourself 24/7 and experiencing someone’s true self for the first time AFTER you’ve already agreed to commit just doesn’t make sense in my opinion.
Exactly. You do not even know a person for real until you lived with them.
@@id3389 That person would have become abusive after marriage as well and now you are in a legal contract which is harder to get out of
I am down to live with my fiance but not my boyfriend. Like in a long-term committed relationship with somebody, I know very well that can feel safe, trusted, and loved and that we have marriage ahead, not a super long engagement. You can't trust men these days. I agree that living with somebody is a very different experience. Still, It can also help them by being observant, and analyzing their habits and morals can tell you a lot about that person.
I've seen too many folks get too comfortable with just living together and one person is stuck for years waiting to get married because they're told "we'll live together and we'll get married in a couple years." And it don't ever come 🥴
💯
There's a bigger commitment to working through things together when u r married. Rather than just shacking up together
And that’s the bone of contention about “LIVING TOGETHER”
HELLO!
There’s actually an article that just came out from the Wall Street journal that talks about how it’s better not to live in before marriage.
I totally get why some people would like to live together before marriage, but I can only think, that it will take the excitement away when it’s time to get married. The only thing that will change is your last name at that point, which is why when couples live together, many times marriage never comes. I think there’s phases in relationships for a reason and I would love to enjoy each phase: dating, bf/gf, engaged and then marriage. Moving in together should be a fun process when engaged/married. I think doing so too soon takes the excitement away in my opinion.
100% think it’s ok to live together before being married. You should know who you’re marrying. Religion likes to do a lot of things to control us but you have to do what’s right for you and getting married is a huge legally binding commitment that’s very expensive (literally and emotionally) to undo.
100%
Agreed. It's not black and white. Do what's best for you
Living together is not going to prepared you to have successful marriage period.Areias’s and living together are very things and you it will surprise you and it’s not controlling because God made a marriage to join together but the world wants to do whatever wants and then have to deal with consequences later, that’s why there too much divorces
MC.LYTE you were really on point when you mentioned what your pastor said and Lani quickly cut you off thinking she is smart because she didn't want to hear that part. Your pastor was right wait until you are married before you have sex. One of The reason why most couples get divorce after marriage is because we have already defiled the bed with the same person or with a different person before we got married to them and then we forget about serving the Lord genuinely and repenting and being obedience to his ward, instead we start to live our lives according to what we want and not God s way. So the hedge is broken and the serpent then bites.
MC Lyte you are on the right path please don't change your mind no matter what anyone says.
God will back you up. 🙏
Just because you don't agree with Loni (I don't either) does not mean she is not smart. You can disagree with someone without insulting their intelligence.
@@Lisa-W My Dear you don't love Loni more than I do trust me I say what it is for me at the time, you can go on ahead and hail her there and don't get yourself worked up about what I wrote, it won't stop me.
I have never shacked up and don't plan on it. Now I am not a prude, but I just don't want to share my space without a concrete commitment.
💯 feel the same way
I am LOOOOOVING Loni’s look!!! Absolutely beautiful 🔥🔥🔥
The question seems to assume marriage is the end result, but I don’t think everyone that moves in together necessarily is thinking marriage as the goal, especially these days where marriage isn’t a necessity like it was in the past. And worse case scenario with a break up, it’s still less messy for an unmarried couple to end things and fight about a lease and some possessions, then it is to get a divorce and fight about everything and drag on for years, affecting every aspect of your life.
Busy like both garcelle and Lonnie 🤥 are anti-man and anti-marriage I mean look at them now misery doesn't always love their company
I think that was the point of conversation tho
Obviously there are women on the panel that are not married or want to be married
This discussion is for those who plan to get married.. it’s not saying that has to be the end goal for everyone
Thanks for answering my question, ladies! For context, I’m 24 & he’s 27- I’m Hispanic and he’s white- we have different customs. He’s not pushing me at all! But I’ve been thinking about the pros and cons here. I like MC Lyte’s advice “when you’re married, act it & when you’re single, act it.”!
The thought of moving in with my “husband” for the very first time, having no idea HOW they live before we got married, terrifies me!!
But what happens if its for religious believes and culture. If you do that, what happens? Lol damn my parents would never allow this to happen
I see nothing wrong with a couple living together before marriage, my cousin did it and it worked out well for her and her now husband. It gives you insight into what you are getting yourself into, what you can stand about each other v/s what you can't. It prepares you for the next step.
Sometimes living together before marriage can keep you in the relationship longer than you should have been in it because you don't feel like going through the adjustment of a break up and moving etc.
i love how MC lyt dont play. she straight up spoke about the biblical view. she didnt try to sugar coat it coz Garcelle had given her worldly opinion. yet she was also able to discuss things on a worldly level with the sex and the city bit
Mc just got divorced
I got pregnant at 22. Moved in with my then-boyfriend at 6 months preggo, got married when our baby was 2 months old. We've been together 8 years, married for 7, and now have a total of 3 kids.
They say year 7 is when most couples divorce lol. But we're stronger than ever!!!
I think people should just date in a smarter way, without rushing anything. Spend time with him and his friends, spend time with him and his family, get to know his inner circle. All this will give you important information. Look at the family background, his financial discipline, his ambitions, your core values vs. his. etc.
I’ve heard too many horror stories to move in with someone I’m not married to.
Can you name some? Would be helpful
That's because you don't exist in an actual community.
I feel like I’ve heard more horror stories about people who get married without living together first🥴
Nope. I don't judge others for doing it but no. It's a mutual respect thing for me. I also don't feel like it's right to trial run a person. That's not to say that it's not risky to marry, but if you're not willing to take the risk, don't get married at all. People are crazy out here 🤣🤣
The red flags you ignore now will be the reason you break up later 💯. If we cant properly cohabitate together, why would you want to get married and spend the rest of your life with that person? You could love each other so much but then time you move in you cant stand each other. Each person can still have their own place, but occasionally you can spend weekends or holidays together so that way you can see what their living habits are like but still having your own space to go home to in case things don’t work out. And if each person still has their own place there’s no reason to fight over money and have this worry that you are stuck with a lease. If you decide it doesn’t work everyone can go their own separate way easily, but divorce is harder and a much lengthier process. You wanna know the good, bad and the ugly when choosing to marry a person.
I think the people who have a problem with this are those who have more traditional way of thinking ! Cuz back in the day it was looked down upon to be living in the same space with someone ur dating and not married to! But now it’s seen as a more open minded way of getting to know ur partner before u get married! Cuz I wanna know ur habits when ur in the house… do u take off ur shoes when u come in the front door… do u show before u go to bed or after u wake up… do u snore… I need to know it all !
EXACTLY. And there are more factors to consider now than ever before in the history of relationships. Ex: there is way less trust in this generation. More room to cheat easily. More options with the click of a finger. Less judgement if there is a divorce. Less people putting up with abusive relationships. Etc etc etc…Just a bunch of reasons why it makes more sense to do a trial run of living together.
The thing is whether you snore, shower at night or in the morning, etc...none of those are valid reasons for a marriage not working out anyway. It's not a make or break when it comes down to things. If you aren't aligned fundamentally on values that is when the marriage breaks down not these petty habits.
@@lindalnd90agreed, we all are raised differently. What matters the most is having the same core values.
The main con I see, if things don’t work out. Usually, financial they are not able to go they separate ways. A situation you never want to put yourself in
This is a con in any living situation where the people have Grown Apart but have to stay together because of the financial situation whether it be husband and wife or brother and sister or even best friends
Last year I spent a week on vacation with my bf of a few months. That was my first time ever cohabitating with a guy and honestly I’m glad for having that experience. Being with someone for 24 hours, cleaning and cooking etc showed me a lot. I grew up in an extremely strict household but this notion of waiting for marriage to do things, to live together is just more risky. Having experienced being sexually incompatible with someone, I think it’s important to know that beforehand.
It’s better to get to know ur partner while living with them imo bc then you’ll know their habits and how they take care of things! People just marry to marry without actually knowing how a person lives
MC Lyte kept it 💯!!! No moving in before marriage. I like that she doesn’t sacrifice her values to fit in.
Me laughing in Muslim 😂😂. We're not cohabiting NOWHERE without marriage fam. Religiously conservative folk (of any religion) where you at? Do you agree/disagree?
I'm religious and not even conservative like that but I don't want to live with any men before marriage. All that stress just for a boyfriend lol thanks. It's always complicated to adjust to someone else way of living and I want to do it for my husband.
I religious and conservative and u highly agree with you. You will NOT get husband treatment without the real commitment.
I’m a Christian who isn’t necessarily conservative, and I’m with you!
Exactly. And it's better that way.
I'm a conservative Christian and I definitely agree with you.
Studies also show that couples who do not live together before marriage have a lower divorce rate.....
I am confused when couples live together for 3 years, 5 years, 9 years ... get married and than divorced in a year or 2 🤔 I don't get it. What changed?
Everyone will have their own opinions based on their experience ...do what works for you. There is honestly no golden rule or guarantee a relationship will work out in the long haul.
I'm with Lyte on this moving in together concept. Till date, and despite the many pros I've heard like what Loni read, I still don't get the need to do that if you aren't married. I don't think marriage is an institution that can be rehearsed. I believe it takes divine grace and guidance, genuine love, dedication, diligence, and ability to compromise by each party to the union. If you feel you both aren't ready to apply all the above, then don't deceive yourselves living together in the name of rehearsal; unless of course, the 2 of you have decided not to ever get married but to remain informal life partners. This is my opinion.
Yes!
I don't believe in playing house. We can live together when we're married. You have to make it work and everything work when you're married that is the deal that is till death do us part.
Living with a person can really show you who your partner is
I absolutely agree with living with your boyfriend or fiancé before getting married. I’m not saying you have to be intimate if your not ready for that. There can be boundaries. But I believe you don’t fully learn about someone until you on your own together. You learn a lot about someone. And you may find out you may not like someone that much afterwards. It may sound stupid but we all have our own little things that can annoy someone that can be a big issue for others. And you may find out you not really ready or want to marry that person. To me it’s better to find out then to get married and realize you can’t handle it
Communication is key asf
I honestly believe you need to live with someone in order to really get to know them. You get to see how they’re living, how they take care of their responsibilities, etc.
I think it's normal to move in together me and my partner have been together for 5 years and lived together for 3, I'm 20 and he's 22 also in the U.K. And we are not engaged but he got me out of a horrible home life we have never had any serious issues with each other and it's made us closer marriage isn't everything, I can't wait till we are married but there is no rush
I wouldn’t want to live with my boyfriend because who’s to say if we end up breaking up our names are on the lease we would have to be “roommates “ until the lease is up
How is that more complicated than being married and having your name on the lease and/or property and being legally tied to it through marriage?
@@bri1474 Breakups happen more often than divorces. You will probably date and break up with several people before getting married. We all know marriage is not a guarantee that the relationship will work out, but it is more of a commitment than dating.
@@gaila.9852 I know this. But I'm saying most divorces end in divorce as well, even if more breakups happen than divorce. Divorce is always legally binding, whereas breakups are not.
@@bri1474 Would you rather take your chances on a relationship or a marriage?
@@bri1474 divorced couples don’t just split up. Usually the separation was a long time coming and it gives the spouses time to make a plan for what they will do if they divorce. You sign up for a lifetime partnership when you get married so you just know if you want to dissolve that partnership, it will take time just like it took time to build the partnership. If you’re just dating why would you want to go through all of that especially when there isn’t a court system set up to help you settle your property disputes like there is for married people?
My 1st marriage was a mess. We met at 15, started dating at 20. Engaged at 22, married at 23 (both Catholic Virgins on our wedding day). 1st daughter at 24, 2ed at 26 divorced at 27. I met my current husband the same year. At 28 we were living together. We lived together for 2 1/2 years be4 I got pregnant with our 1st. At 30 I had our son, 32 we had our daughter. At 35 we got married. Been married 12 years together almost 17. We have our ups n downs but were n it for the long haul.
Living together did help us b4 marriage. I needed time, because I had just gotten divorced when met. It took me some years to get myself together, n love myself again. So I dont think it matters at the start as long as the middle n the end is what u want.
Living together before marriage doesn’t automatically mean you’re at a gf/bf level. It could be that you’re engaged and not married yet. I do agree that it’s good to know what kind of person you’ll be dealing with 24/7 before binding each other with marriage plus it’s easier to just give the ring back and walk away if you feel that they’re not the one for you vs getting a divorce to leave a marriage. I totally agree with the as long as you’re at least engaged approach.
Totally agreed. Fiance or planning to get married.
I'm not moving in without the marraige certificate lol. Im doing wife duties as a girlfriend
Agree and you fall in love, all the while he's planning his next move.
You don’t necessarily have to do wife duties living with your boyfriend. If he’s a good boyfriend, and understands your boundaries he wouldn’t expect it from you. I live with my boyfriend, we both work, we take turns cooking and doing house chores. We work as a team. Once we get married, I will then choose to step up a bit in those areas. But you can control your own narrative. With the right man it can all be simple.
@@ashleyshadea3684 But she doesn’t want to “take turns” doing any of those duties that you mentioned for someone that isn’t her husband. That is literally her point.
@@justafanfave228 I offered a different perspective, and you’re obviously missing my point. Taking turns isn’t “Wifely duties”, that’s a partnership. All I’m saying is you don’t have to have “duties” in your relationship before marriage. you can set those boundaries while living together. And if you feel as though your definition of being a wife is cooking and cleaning for your husband. Then do it when your married. But you can still live together and not do that. What’s so hard to comprehend ?
@@ashleyshadea3684 What is not clicking? Everything domestic is off the table until marriage. It is completely fine if some people want to do that but some of us don’t want to do chores “partnership” with a man who we are not really committed to.
Adreain well done again for being smart loving you more now God will always support his own. 👋
You don’t truly know someone until you live with them
If you decide to live with your partner because it’s cheaper it doesn’t make sense because when you’re married it will be cheaper anyways. Just shows that your living together for convenience. You’ll just end of living with everyone you date when it doesn’t work out with the previous person
The idea of either don't live together completely or live together for a very long time before marriage is both wrong. First, there are lot of things you don't know about a person till you live under one roof with them. For example, I didn't know that my ex wife never ever want to clean her home even after being married. During dating, every time we had sex in her bedroom, the room was always neat and clean. Also, her house was super clean. But after marriage, I learned that her mom did all the cleaning for her. Another things, she had no concept of family finance. During dating, I was the one who foot the bills most of the time when we were out. So I really didn't know how she handled her finance. But after marriage, I found out that she is the type of person who would spend $99 for every $100 she earned from her job. She never ever safe much for raining days. How could you have a marriage life with someone who does not clean, does not cook and spend every penny you have earned from your job? So, please share a life together for sometime before deciding if the person is marriage material.
I agree, you need to know all of those important details. I am sorry you had a terrible experience. I agree with living together before marriage as long as there is a strong sense of commitment or a formal commitment like engagement( not very long years) I believe you can know a whole bunch of things about a person while dating, but as you said, some people hide it and that freaking sucks.
I highly suggest that people do not move in with their partners if they know they want to marry them, but give it a shot if you want to. I know every relationship is different, and some people do not want to get married at all.
There is no con to living together before marriage. “Dulling” a relationship before marriage is stupid because if you were gonna tire of them in so little time before marriage, you will during it and divorce is a dumb bitxh. You see who ppl really are when you live with them. I’m with Garcelle on her stance with kids, that makes sense. But all that other stuff except for religious reasons I guess, is not realistic
When you lived together you get to see how people keep their house.
This must be an American thing because in England you date, become boyfriend and girlfriend, move in together, get engaged, married but people don’t even care to get married anymore because wits just a contract. Live with the person for at least a year before you get married
Yes to all this, but for me is to get engaged or plans to get married, and move out together. I am not just gonna live with any boyfriend, I have to know him well, we have a healthy relashionship and clear goals, and also make sure we are committed 100% and a good fit for each other before making such a huge investment. I don't wanna be moving in and out every time I break up with a boyfriend or be forced to stay in a toxic relashionship just because we live together, or him making me a forever girlfriend, or over-invest in a person that was just not meant to be.
Adrienne is me whenever someone starts to talk about sex and the city. I get excited as well.
You need to live with a person to experience their true energy mixed with yours. That goes for romantic or friendships etc. That's why they say dont live with friends lol cause in some cases it'll end after that vs living with an acquaintance or stranger and actually building a bond and becoming closer as a result.
The issue is about the "Pros" of living with someone before marriage is that it's ALL about self and Jesus Christ is NOT apart of or involved in it.
Perfectly said!!
absolutely never moving in w a man before marriage, guess I’m traditional in that way.
I live with my partner now and we're not married and it works out.. I don't feel married which is good because I'm not sure if I want to marry yet.. I feel like I learned more about him living together than not living together and I feel like we're just like any other dating couple.. Also, we had a long-distance relationship and I moved here to try the relationship out so I essentially had nowhere to go so we moved in together.. Just see what works for you and your circumstances... I would usually say not to move in together before you guys are engaged/married or been dating for at least 1 year... But under my circumstances, we just fell into it. 🤷🏻♀
I disagree I had to move in with my boyfriends family of a year because my living situation wasn’t good at home . So it all depends
Mc Lyte is correct living together is more of a disadvantage than advantage. Marriage is the goal not faux marriage.
Yes Mc Lyte! If you're married act married and if you're single act single!💯❤💕🙌🥳🥂🎉
Im with Garcelle a ring and date! Also make sure you guys have been dating for atleast a year and then live with that person for atleast a year before you get married.
I refuse to move in with a guy and act like a wife with a girlfriend title! Nope! I see so many women move in with a guy and they never marry them! It’s 10-15 years later and now kids are in the picture and no marriage.
Loni’s eyelashes
Loni looks fabulous I love the colors on the ladies🤎🤎
My mama always told me to never stay with a person before marriage and I never have. My brothers did with their significant others though. 1 couple is fine and the other is going through divorce. So it just depends on the people
The pro is you get a Quick Fix for your needs for a partner.
Cons are a whole lot.
Most important,your partner has not been Vetted by your Family and Friends.
He could be having serious faults you may've overlooked with the romantic waves sweeping over your mind 🤔🤔
If it's foolish to do it for marriage it is also foolish to do it for boyfriend girlfriend . In both situations living together should be a gradual progression. And I love what you said about being vetted by people other than yourself because of your emotional ties to the individual
i wanted to hear what her pastor had to say before Lonnie cut her off…
No living together before marriage. It's a sin and offensive to God. Yes it is harder to resist temptation of sleeping over etc but very worth it
Moving in doesn't make a difference in divorce rates. People who don't move in have lower rates of divorce. Correlation does not equal causation though.
Anyway, I think the person who gets the bad deal out of a cohabiting situation is usually the woman. I have often heard 👂 women complain that their time was wasted because many of them start living with a man with the hope of marriage 💑 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Yes, and I think that's exactly the mistake. No vision, no clear goals, and no honest intentions. Those girls are delusional.
“That’s what I did with my ex-husband.”
Nuff said. Lol
3:01 The assumption is that living with someone for TWO years is ENOUGH to know them? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 . People grow and evolve. The man you cohabit with for two years may become a totally different person once he becomes a father or once his financial situation changes etc. Anyway, what do statistics show, do couples who cohabit stay longer in marriage?
This screams American to me. I’ve noticed Americans have the tendency of getting married very quickly (after 1 year of dating) and are less likely to live together before marriage. Personally I first of all want to get to know you well so I for sure won’t marry you after short time, but I also definitely need to live with you before. It’s also much smoother process and makes it less hard to adapt to the changes
What’s country are u from?
I realize that too. Some people get lucky and marry the right person when the marry right away but i think the divorce rate is so high because so many people get married to the person straight away, whether having moved in with them or not. They even be moving in too early and that’s how u end up living with so many different people before you get married. U need to take time to know the person first.
I think living with someone before marriage is okay if it is a serious relationship and you see a future with that person. I don’t see why people still continue to judge people for that. Some people don’t believe in marriage but still want to be in a long term relationship .
So you want have a girlfriend title the rest of your life, you see that’s the problem olot of women don’t know there worth and value, they want a be wife but they are treating as a girlfriend that’s just dumb! Girl know your worth
@@melissacalderon1515 girl what are you talking about ? Did you even read my comment? I clearly stated that I don’t see anything wrong with living with a partner before marriage if it’s a serious relationship meaning both parties involved are in it for long term. If one person really wants to get married but the other one doesn’t then no it’s not a good idea. To each their own. And I am married by the way so idk why you are assuming things. And lastly , just because someone chooses to not marry doesn’t mean they “don’t know their worth.”
Her pastor said if you’re single you should act like it? What does that even mean
I had an incredible opportunity to see MC Lyte's brothers perform before she even became an artists. Check your hip hop history. Also to see her on a discussion panel along side, Eva Garcelle and other's at a women's conference in Baltimore Maryland. She is beautiful and intelligent.
You do see a dramatically different version of a person after living with them. Romantic relationship or platonic.
If it was me. definitely wait for the ring. Also depends if he was living in his parent's house or on his own. I don't want to end up like the maid or have a pig stye since I don't clean much. Learn more before marriage what the person is like. Better break up before than after married or just suffer. Especially for the kids if you end up with a lazy, inconsiderate spoiled brat. Technically live together but not tell the older generation who has those views.
This is a quote from my grandmother why buy the cow when you can get the milk free, sex will always complicate a relationship if a man really wants you and you really want him before you get into any sexual activity you need to find out what you are dealing with.
Have you ever heard the metaphoric phrase
“Lyte as a Rock”
Loni's eyelashes!!
I would rather live with them first before we spend all that money on a wedding and you realize who they truly are because people can hide themselves if your not living with them they could have bodies in they basement or something or don’t like to clean or their very controlling.
I’m single been single for a long time idk if I wanna be married but if I did I’m moving in together first because I need to see how you are around me 24/7 how are you around your family and friends and I mean how u really are not that fake Façade that everyone puts on in the beginning of the relationship
Idk why some people look at marriage as a concrete commitment when half of marriages end divorce some married people out here thinking there partner is fully committed to them and they really arnt js
I’d rather move in first and at least know what I’m getting into and see if your even worth marrying
loni I feel sorry for your left eye. That lash is covering your whole eyeball 😂
Loni I Love You but, GOD Blesses a Marriage. Shacking makes You Obligated to do duties of a Married yet no real commitment. Once You give Your All then that person can bounce & Marry the next who didn’t Give in.
Unfortunately she is a phone by boozing her child to a miscarriage She punched her herself and she taken James her white boyfriend #reverse racism just like Candace Owens and Rachel Lindsay
I’d like to see a host on here who is not traditional, doesn’t make things about religion, and that doesn’t expect marriage to be the next step. We are in a new time y’all. Some of us don’t want to marry
Loni looks gorgeous
Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled
I just wanna do loni’s make up she’s so beautiful and I don’t feel like they ever do her justice
what about if they have sex and she is pregnant? but my mom and dad were living together and then my mom got pregnant with me and mom, s uncle told her you guys need to get married. And then they did.
My ex moved In with me and I found out some of the most disgusting things he would do.. he liked to sleep naked.. no problem.. but every morning when he woke he was stretch and let out a loud obnoxious fart in my sheets.. so poop products in my clean sheets !!!!!!!!!!! I called him out on it several times.. asked hill to go into the bathroom and a clear his bowels.. to stop doing it bare ass on my sheets.. his response was “well I come from a farting family” needless to say, I literally kicked him out of my bed the next morning he did it! 🤢🤮
This is my worst nightmare and exactly why you shouldn't marry someone without living with them first 🤢
Love McLyte !!!!
When you have a baby and live together before marriage…not a good thing! When you finally married what did u save?
I think it goes both ways, men can say the same thing. Anyway most (not saying everybody) people have sex before marriage anyway so more than anything it’s just for conservatism and not religious purposes.
To me I prefer not that whole seeing how you live like are you paying attention with who you dating signs are there
Summn about Loni still rubs me wrong, can’t put my finger on it. She strikes me as I don’t know....and ma’am those lashes are a no go.