New Foster Placement - First 24 Hours
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- Опубликовано: 5 сен 2024
- We hope that this video and sharing the experience helps you empathize with kids and youth in foster care. This is a very typical and uneventful experience of a first night. "Miss A" represents any teen in foster care.
A new teen foster placement joins us and we talk about how we prepare, how drop off goes and what the first evening and next day is like.
10/22/2021 Note We share more information in this video than we would with current placements. We learn and grow and adapt. However, at this point (and even at the time) "Miss A" knows what we shared and has watched it (more than once) and is comfortable with this video being public. Based on her age, maturity, development and parent awareness, we are keeping this video public.
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I love how you recognize all the little things that make this girl sweet, lovable, kind and humble, and that you recognized that her responses to the situation are age appropriate and actually quite resilient considering the circumstances. No matter the behavior that comes up as a result of her trauma, remember and emphasize these qualities. As you were describing her I thought of myself at 14, when I had just entered foster care and was staying in kinship care with extended family. They did not focus on my good qualities, did not recognize the trauma I had endured, nor did they recognize my resilience for trying hard to adjust to their family norms. So thank you for treating you foster kids with respect and unconditional love. I would have loved to have you as my foster parent at that age.
I agree as well!!
I used to foster children and I was a school teacher. There is always a reason why people act in a certain way especially children. I had a very angry 7 year old whom stayed with me for 2 years. He used to lie, cheat and steal food which is common with abused children. He was also very physical towards people which is never acceptable but is understandable. Sarah you are very wise and I can see from your message that you have a great knowledge of why children behave the way they do. I wish that you didn't have to go through all the emotional pain as a child however I suspect that you will use your experience to help others. Take care of yourself. Xx
Thank you for the highlighted comment. Xx
God bless you.... My son had go to foster care and this gives me perspective on how it all goes or went.... Luckily they are wonderful and adopted him.....thanks to all that you are and do 🤗
@@jenniferbove5752 I'm so sorry that your son was in care. The fact that you are willing to share your story is amazing. Often the families of the child/children are distraught and no one really thinks about how they are feeling. I'm not sure if your son is over 18 but if he is I hope that you have had the chance to reach out to him. Xx
I am so relieved the child wasn’t shown, I’m glad they actually have the child’s best interest in mind :)
Ben I thought it was illegal to show the foster kids, or at least their faces.
It’s not in the child’s best interest per se, law states you can’t put a foster kid in any kind of media without a written consent form signed by their social worker + foster parent and/or the court
Yeah it isn't illegal but many times in emergency placements the kids are only there for a short amount of time and either the foster parents or the child don't feel comfortable with it for privacy reasons
Alyssa Faith idk what all these other people are talking about but it is illegal.
Oh idk i never actually looked it up but my family has foster for 10 years one of the child's case worker's said it was fine so i was going off that sry
I expected this to be another toxic "force a vulnerable kid in front of a camera for some quick cash" family channel, but damn I was wrong, yall are great
It’s illegal to show pictures of foster kids so there’s that
Esther B. Not everywhere. In NC you are allowed to.
@@M_SC wasnt the whole daddy o. Five scandal with foster kids? Pretty sure they went back to their og mom in the end.
sl daddy o five wasn’t foster kids it was their dad and they went back to their mom
You expected crazy middles?
I'm not sure why RUclips recommended this video to me, but I watched and it touched my heart. God bless you & your husband for what you do. You are truly an amazing mother.
Amy same
Same
Same!! 💯🙌💕
Amy same
Same!
When I was in foster care I had a mattress on the floor, no tv, couldn’t have a phone, a lot of times my foster mom would make dinner just for herself late at night and I’d be hungry. I would be scared to go to the bathroom at night so I’d hold it until it hurt. I wasn’t allowed to see friends or anything. I wish I would’ve had someone like you
I also just had a mattress in some placements!
@@fosterfamily4827 I was in foster care for about two years an I got this really nice lady I had anything but I got tooken from my family for no reason but I was happy at both houses in out of foster car and still go over there and stay for long periods of time and her daughter is like a sister to me but I was spoiled at both houses nothing really changed I'm glad I stayed at one house the whole time but I hated when social workers came to visit they talked for hoursss lmao but it was pretty normal my sister was moved a lot of times and even got a baby while in the system 😔
Meridith Field this broke my heart, hope you’re doing okay now
that sad . i can't believe foster parents would do that I do foster to adopt I would not do that to my foster child and my adopt kiddos. kids get fed before me and partner
Meridith Field ugh that’s so sad :( no one, especially a kid deserves to be in that situation
when you said she likes BBQ sauce more than ketchup idk why
but that made me cry
I think it’s just so lovely how she is caring to notice the little things and understand and get to know the girl🥰
Me too. For me it was the thought that this person is involved in shaping this girls life, that's making huge decisions on her behalf and the only thing she knows about her is her condiment preference. 😥 Thankfully she is with good people now that really care and will make an effort to really get to know her!
abbie jackson I like bbq more than ketchup...
0616gf 😢😪
Zix Zizia 🤷♀️😂
Foster Parents get a bad rep. You seem like a woman who genuinely has the child's well-being as first priority. Thank you for that.
Sofia do they? I dont know anything about foster parents
@@armin2changs yes because lots of bad things have happened to kids in foster care.
Sheep most of them do it because they get funds for the child[ren] but most of them abuse it
@@armin2changs It's notorious among kids that grow up in the system...sometimes they're even abused by foster parents.
Foster parents DO get a bad rep and in at least 75% of the cases its an EARNED rep. (I'm an 8 year veteran of the system. Of 27 different placements only THREE gave me both basic needs care AND the emotional care that a growing child needs.
“The case worker was hinting that she was wanting expensive things”
Miss A: I just want BBQ sauce
“But BBQ sauce is expensive!” Jk! Lol
@@BeTheVillageCommunity hi I'm kinda scared my mother got a call that someone was making false claims and I'm scared to be a foster kid I hope u can help
@@BeTheVillageCommunity please answer sara.
@@sarabethmathis6046you wouldnt immediately be taken away! A social worker would come to your house unannounced to speak to you and your mom
@@sarabethmathis6046 they would actually have to investigate and prove the claims were true. I don't think they would immediately take you.
if worse comes to worse then make sure your voice is heard and do what you can
Seems like u really "get" teenagers which must be so relieving for her. She sounds awesome too!
PalisBee I was the 100th like x
My mom was a foster child and a victim of every kind of abuse. This reminds me of the stories she’s told me about first living with her final foster family (my grandparents). My grandma was such a healing presence for her, understanding and gentle. I think it was her first day grandma made them peanut butter sandwiches with glasses of milk and when my mom accidentally knocked over the glass she dove under the table in fear. My grandma quietly cleaned up the mess, poured a new glass and brought everything under the table to eat with her. I cry every time I think about it. Makes me want to foster a kid one day.
That made me cry.
@@cademancaden x2
😢❤️
This story made me feel like crying
Oh my, your grandmother is/was a beautiful soul. This choked me up.
I was in foster care, and you by far are the best foster parent I have ever seen.
It’s sad to think a lot of foster kids don’t get to experience kind and loving foster parents
My mom took in a student when he was 16. She was in shock when she found our all he had was in a trash bag. Now he is a successful late 20 year old with 2 daughters raising his sisters 3 kids and works full time with severly autistic kids. A good foster parent can make the difference between success or a repeat in the cycle
Literally👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Ebony Lowe RIGHT!!!! I was in foster care too and I wouldn’t killed to be in this home!!! ♥️♥️♥️
Wow you are so respectful for not showing her on camera. If she wants to be on camera one day that would be so cool! But consent is everything
I believe she would need consent for whoever has guardianship over the child. Rules may be different though in different states.
Yes, in most states it's actually illegal to show foster children on camera without consent of a guardian! Even if she wanted to (which clearly she doesn't and it's obvious she has tons of respect for her) she wouldn't be legally able to.
In my state you Can't take pictures of any of the foster kids. I have worked with them in after-school programs, and they're never allowed to have pictures. One even had Guardians say they could but we were told that the state says we can't regardless. So it very much depends on the state.
i’m a foster kid myself and i’m 16 years old and i moved into my new placement on january 21st 2019 and i think this will be my home until i age out, i hope so at least :)
Sorry that you are in foster care but it sounds like you are with a great set of parents now. I'm happy for you for this!
I aged out many years ago. I hope they have better resources now compared to when I aged out. There’s life after foster
Hey there! Im a foster mom to 5 teen girls! Yes 5! So u can imagine how crazy it can get in my home. All I want to tell you is , it’s in your control. Your foster parents are there to help you . And if you make that relationship with them there is no reason why you couldn’t stay there till you age out. Do the right thing.. EVEN WHEN. ONONE IS WATCHING. Ask for help even if it feel scary. And know that this is temporary. You can be whoever you want. Let strive for someone great! Praying for you and wishing you all the best!
All the best with everything! Hope things are going well for you.
hi there I’m so happy you’re in a good placement. I never really had a safe space it always felt like I was waiting till the family got tired of me then moving on to another home. But I’m happy you’re happy. Foster kids don’t get that much💚
I’m only 13 and I wanna foster kid everyone and be like you
Ecstatic Oranges same
Same!
Big mood
Ecstatic Oranges same I”m great full to have loving parents , but when I grow up Iam willing to adopt a kid , to make their life even better :)
I am a Foster kid and I would like to Foster kids when I am older
I admit I didn’t have great expectations when I clicked on this, as a former child of the foster care system. But, wow. I wish I had been placed in a home like yours. It would have completely changed my life. You are truly doing right in this world and making it a better place, for all who live in it. My father gave me up when I was a teenager and it is tough at that age. She needs more support than she knows. Thank you for being you.
❤️❤️❤️
Literally, same.
My intake was more like, "Here's your bed, your toothbrush and towel..." Television was a VERY rare treat in my foster home of four years. I was responsible for my own snacks and toiletries beyond basic toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner and menstrual products. My foster mother was very strict, very opinionated and condescending but she provided a home with good meals and us girls did have our own phone line, at least (this was before cell phones and the internet). She cared, in her own way but she wasn't the warmest person or the easiest to get along with. The saddest part is although my physical needs were being met, being in foster care really broke my spirit and I wasn't prepared for adulthood. When I turned 18, I was pretty much dumped into the world to fend for myself with no coping strategies or life skills. So, I would suggest, really show how you manage your home and adult responsibilities (sensitive details withheld, of course). Involve your foster-kids (especially teens) in activities that will help grow the skills they will need when the inevitable comes and they are truly on their own. The attitude of the social worker is one that that really contributes to the cycle never breaking - if kids grow up feeling they aren't worth anything to even the people who profess to protect them, then they're destined to grow up not caring about anything.
What a great informative comment😊
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your information. I feel like you have become a beautiful person who has so much to offer the world. thank you for your wise words.
Bright blessings to you Svartr 💛✨
@@STT511 Oh, thank you!
@@lisabill8326 Awww, that's one of the kindest comments anyone has ever given me! Brightest blessings to you as well :)
It’s stories like this that push me to foster. I wanna give a kid a bit of kindness and comfort even if they aren’t staying long
I grew up in the foster care system here in Australia and my foster parents went above and beyond to get us back to wellness from being malnourished to being well 😎
Esther Barnett-Krause awesome I live in Aus and when I get married I’d love to foster ! So pumped ❤️
Esther Barnett-Krause how is the foster care system here in Australia? I literally know nothing about it.
@@aisharose1399 we fostered for 12 ish years in Australia, and while I wasn't in the system myself...it was pretty shit for the foster family...we had no support at around the 4 year mark, the kid we were looking after was only supposed to stay for a few days...those days turned into 10 years. We loved him like family though.
But after the 4 years the things that we needed to support them slowly started getting siphoned off. No OT, speech therapist... monetary support...no in home visits from his DHS worker. It ended up stopping completely in the last 2-3 years we had him. We put up a fight, asking for help. You know. because he was slowly going downhill again. DHS ended up getting fed up with us asking for just a lil support...so they took him back and put him into a residential home, where they basically chuck all the kids that cant be places.. I've seen one of those, theyre hard. A few months later they asked if we could take him back...but because he was you know, our family and had been taken away from us, we'd moved countries because it was hard living in a house without him.
There were more things that happened, we used to restpite teens too, they didn't get the support they needed from the govt..but most of the carers(foster parents) we interacted with, were good people. Some shouldn't have had the kids. Some were absolutely horrible. But we always tried to make the kids feel welcome. I still keep in contact with a few we had over the years.
It was hard, but it was fun.
@@aisharose1399 its very good here but like all foster care systems even around the world you have ups and downs 😎
@@emilyelizabeth5094 its something to really get into as there arnt enough foster families to take in enough children but the foster care system are always looking for new foster parents though 😎
this really made me cry. i’m 16 and have been in foster care a lot of times; i never had a foster parent like this! this makes me wish i was in a long term foster-placement rather than a residential unit. i really long for someone that cares for me personally that way :(
Please know that so many people would love the opportunity to love you and care for you. Be open to those people who truly care. I’ll be praying for God to bring good people into your life
Genuinely hope for your happiest future xx
Hey darlin, a momma here, if u ever need to talk just email me, bloomberg1220@gmail.com. even if it's just to rant, I'll listen. Everybody needs somebody. Sending love and good vibes from south carolina 😃
I’m a mama as well, love, you can email me as well if you want mine I can give it to you. You deserve so much and someone to talk to if you want it. ♥️
Kaitlin S And I’m not a foster parent 😂 but I’m close to your age (15 and a half) so if you ever need someone to talk to I’m here- I don’t judge anyone and friends often come to me to rant or to talk to etc.
I hate to point this out randomly but she has a Harry Potter broom in the background, I'd love you as a foster mom omg.
⚡️
Omg, I wasn’t sure if that was actually a Harry Potter broom prop. Good to know I was right
Amazing you pull all that together when all the info you got was
“BBQ sauce > ketchup”
Hey could you foster me for a while, I know I’m 30 but you’re so awesome 👏🏻
La Reina del Sur you can be my foster sister!
Me too
I laughed way to hard at that.
Right I'm 33 with 2 kids, u got any room..I can cook 😁
Me too and my baby girl jajajaj
bath bombs, journals, and her own tv?! Dude, you guys spoil your foster kids way more than I got spolied! She's a lucky girl. I remember having to share shampoo with the other kids. I had my own room, but never a computer or tv or anything. Once a week, we got to go to library and get books, so there was that, at least.
Oh wow, I never even thought about separate shampoos and stuff. Thank you for mentioning it!
I've always shared shampoo woth my family and friends, so it never occured to me that this might be uncomfortable for a foster child, I'll make sure to remember this!
Thank you 🙂
Its an act..
@@savannahherrera8441 what makes you say that?
Savannah Herrera good people in this world exist...
The girl is far from spoiled, Mis A is finaly experiencing some Love!
Poor miss A, we all like nice things, doesnt have to be justified. Glad you are looking out for her
@Speaking Truth absolutely, omg me at that age.. I was never happy always wanting more.. Glad I'm growing and realize those were just trends. But when you're young it really can make a big deal
yes omg especially since only like expensive name brand things are all that are in that social worker was a ass for that especially saying it in front of her
This video came up in my recommended no idea why. I'm no longer a kid at 37 but a long time ago i was a foster kid, and i got to say at least for me when you get a placement that don't care about the money but you it means so much. I had this one family that took me shopping i was 14 and had nothing but pj i was wearing. I got my first pair of Real sneakers that they. They meant so much to me i keeped them to this day. To remind my self that even the small things can mean more to someone than you ever know.
When I grow up, I REALLY want to be a foster parent... ❤️
savanna owl me too
I was a foster child when I was 2 months and then I was adopted then I was 1 year and I wanna become a foster parents and foster at least one teenager
i wanna foster and adopt too
Same here!
I’m not adopted but my mom and all of her siblings are because my grandma couldn’t have kids, but we are still close with my biological grandparents. Plus my mom is divorced with her original husband (the father to my older 3 siblings) but me and my younger brother have like an Aunt and Uncle relationship with him and his wife and consider all of their family ours as well. So I have about 3 living great uncles, living 4 grandmas, 1 living grandpa, 14 uncles, 9 aunts, 6 siblings (1 was stillborn) and more cousins than humanly possible to count. Anyways I have always wanted to foster and adopt and have lots of kids because I come from such a huge family, and my family is always helping out people and we have lots of animals and strays we take care of, so it’s kind of my second nature to want to help out everyone as much as I can, added on to the fact that I absolutely love children makes be want to be a person like you. Me and my boyfriend are talking about getting married as well and the topic of fostering and adopting comes up very often. He seems to slowly be warming up to the idea of fostering but is against adopting because they aren’t going to be his kids. I tell him that raising a child of teenager just makes them your kid because you develop all these emotions towards them but he’s having non of it, do you have any idea on what I can do to help him with the idea that doing this would be a good thing for us?
Seriously this makes me want to be a foster parent. Thank you for leading by example on how I would want to be and how I would treat a child in my care. Thank you for inspiring me.
Jaims418 this has warmed my heart ❤️
I thought the very same thing. My husband and I don't have any children and i'm 45 and he's 42. He has a great job and i'm home all day with my dog. I have been thinking about becoming a court appointed child advocate as well.
Ima similar age to you and have a partner (we are not married) he works long hours and I am home with the cat. I have been thinking about fostering for some time now, when I read your comment my instinct was to tell you to just go for it! Maybe I should take my own advice as well 😂 Good luck to you 👍
@@skybee001 Good luck to you as well!! 😁😺
@@lokasenna32 I am a CASA! Any help you can provide these kids is a great light in their lives
As a retired teacher, I am so thankful for people like you. I wish I could give you more than one thumb up.
Miss A will know kindness for the rest of her life
I can’t imagine not being able to be with your parents anymore and having a whole different life. It’s so sad.
That wasn't my case sort of 2 or 3 (depending on how you look at it) foster homes then I could finally be with my mom again
Sometimes it’s for the better
As much as I didn't like my foster home, it was far better than living with my mom. It depends on the situation.
We weren't allowed to have a phone, watch TV, go hang out with our friends, especially no over nights and we definitely never got our own room. This is so clean and you can tell that you care. Thank you. Most of us get sent to a home with many many children and we are squeezed into tiny, dirty rooms with kids with severe issues. It was like jail for kids
I'm sorry you and anyone else was ever in a place like a jail for kids. May I ask...of course I don't expect any response, but one can't help but wonder if you felt like you should have been taken from your parent/home?
@@jcam5064 well, I can't expect that the full story I was told was the truth but my dad was a quadruple amputee and they said my stepmom stole his pills and sold them to an underage girl down the road and she almost died from taking them so I guess that's how they got in trouble. They probably also found marijuana and/or cocaine at the time as well. My dad had two daughters with this woman so her parents came and picked us up. It was her parents that sent me into foster care because they didn't like me. I was 10, never really got along with my stepmoms mom. The fight was over me holding my baby sister and the next thing I know they're dropping me off at cps. So I guess by law they took us, but it was my stepmoms parents who were kinda evil. My dad was released before my stepmom but I was already 2 hours away by then. He died 7 days before my 13th birthday. He wasn't perfect but ya know. I don't usually speak of it but no one usually asks to be honest. I'm glad to see foster care choices getting better ♥️
😥 Thats so sad....
I know you were not originally looking to foster teens, but I just want to say it seems like you are the perfect person for it!! As a 19 year old I can say that you really seem to understand teens and are doing a wonderful job!! Thank you!!
Aw that is so nice to hear!
I'm 22 and I was placed in and out Forster homes when I was 14-15. You remind me of my foster mom, she really went above an beyond to try to make me comfortable but I was the same I cried for a few days straight. Took me a little bit to eat with them for dinner
( I was also placed with my little brother so i was lucky )
Also the case workers I had where crap bit the family really helped me out. Was still an uncomfortable time and I felt really alone even,though they tried so much to help me. I feel bad now bit wish I could go back and say thank you. She was my last nice foster home and then it went down hill from there. But I'm thankful for her family taking me and my little brother in
dominique Nelson h
dominique Nelson God bless you guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I was placed in foster care when I was 4 or 5 and I can't remember to much but I was lucky and unlucky because I was in foster care with my little sister but my 2 big brothers were not with me.
Can we please give this woman some praise 👏 she brings kids into her care that nobody knew anything about
My parents fostered a 13 yr old girl when I was 17...so I was only in the home for the first 8mths she got there...I moved out shortly after. The caee works did the same thing....she talked down to the teen, constantly repeated all the "bad" things she did. Kept saying "she dont need 2 pillows" "dont give her extra juice". "She will talk your head off...just tell her to shut up a breath."...when she says that last one, I had to intervene....I told the lady "hey well you are talking out heads off right now and its 11pm. We think she must tired and tired of you by now she please remove yourself from our living and have a nice night". Oh the look on her face!!! Lol anyways... teen is now my adopted sister of 18 years!! She still talks your head off. Lol
The foster care system is honestly so messed up and I hear so many things that break my heart. This video really helped me see the good and positive side of foster care♥️
This is not a typical foster family situation... And frankly on one hand its good for the kids ... but realistically it would be better if kids werent being used by many states as a way to make money... for states, counties, and city officials..
Put some sanitary bits in too? Just in case. All the best :)
D Crawford yes! I definitely forgot that. Will be adding :)
Be The Village perhaps some discreet bags that she can put the sanitary stuff into for the trash bin.
D Crawford ,exactly when I was in foster care they never bought me nothing in that department. Had to get is at school from bathroom. Thanks for thinking about that.
Yes because if its first few days they need it, might feel uncomfortable asking for it.
Just found you. What a caring compassionate family. Foster care gets such a bad rap. Excited to learn more from you.
There is a reason it gets a bad rap. I went to 14 foster homes and 2 of them were good the rest were bad. I only stayed in those houses for a month combined
Dr. strange If you don’t mind me asking, what were the factors that made your experience with the 12 foster homes bad?
@@rachellim9054 neglect, starvation, mental, physical, and sexual abuse. Drugs, alcohol.
@@dr.strange8504 I had the same experience as you. I ended up getting adopted into a stable (ish) family, but one of my best friends aged out at 18. It is great to see good Foster families, but the majority of people are doing it for the wrong reasons
@@MWOODYARD I was adopted into a good family just my adopted sister was the spon of Satan and that ruined my life for 10 years because everyone hated me and loved her, but she's been gone for a year now and she's been outed about who she really is. I'm great now
I'm not a foster kid, but I wish you were my mom.
I'm 12 and i knew about foster care and had a basic idea.But this video is what made me relize I want to foster a kid once Im old enough and finacially stable enough.This is such a beautiful thing its honestly amazing.Thank you for what you do.
That’s really sweet
@@noelle.sunshine6635 Thanks lol!💕
Of course you want to be financially stable but they do give you money so you can support them
@@chargirl7677 it's not always enough
Cool idea, but be sure that you know their physiological issues and stuff.
If the cashier asks just say you're her Auntie and hanging out, needed a few things.
yeah you could just say 'oh shes come to stay with me for a while', kinda implies shes a niece or family friend visiting but is also completely true.
You remind me of this foster mom for a good friend of mine as a teen. Her bedroom was even better than mine. Her foster parents knew me because I used to work for a veterinarian they took their dogs to. I actually recognized the pets first when I visited her home. They were so sweet, so welcoming to anyone who crossed their doorstep.
Thank you for doing this for this teen girl. They always get deserted in the foster system. Also thanks for protecting her identity.
I never thought about how foster care shopping trips could make things awkward for a kid. That’s another good reason for the self checkouts.
Former foster child here: Shopping trips can be incredibly hard. I remember the first time I got a clothing grant from the agency. I had come from a very poor household, had one pair of clothes. So when I was taken clothing shopping for the first time, I was so numb and had no idea what to do. My foster mom got very irritated and annoyed with me. I ended up just picking out random things because I was so uncomfortable and she was so unhelpful. It was a really horrible experience.
My girlfriend is a foster kid. She has been in foster care since she was 10 years old. She’s 21 now. For eleven years she’s living with her foster parents and they really are a family. The foster parents see their foster kids as their own children. It’s beautiful to see foster parents with good intentions.
I'm in foster care with my brother currently, have been for well over a year. I'm with an old black lady who is super religious (I'm an atheist), but love it here. Of course there are ups and downs but I get so much more freedom than any other foster kid. Many electronics, boyfriend comes over, I'm allowed to go out with his family and on my bike for hours on end. I'm so incredibly lucky to be in this home
We respect any religion or lack their of (that’s us) but I’m so glad you are in a loving home!!!
can I just say you inspire me to foster even more??
Carmi Reimer that warms our heart!! That’s exactly why we make these videos :)
I like that you catered to all her needs. My adoptive would complain about how much it cost to buy me everything so I was put to work as soon as I turned 16 and had to pay rent as soon as I got my work permit. She set my rent to equal the amount of my paychecks so I had to sign them over. If I refused she would get violent and I would have bruises all over me. They were mostly hidden by clothes but the ones that weren’t I had to make up excuses and say I was rough housing with my brothers :( I tried to get my adoptive dad involved but she wouldn’t let me have any contact with him and he let her be the boss of the family since he had to live with her so he wouldn’t try to “rock the boat.” What’s it like to be loved? I’m afraid to experience that. I don’t want to put myself through that hurt again
I'm sorry to hear what you have been through. While there are bad people out there, there are also people that will love you unconditianally. Try to open up step by step, you don't have to do it all at once. Try to meet people with similar interessts that you can be your true self around (the second part is way more important :) ).
I wish you the best for your future Julie! Please always remember that you are worth to be loved! Everyone is, you are no exception!❤
I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences. That's why I thumbs down because it is sad. Please know it is possible to learn to be loved again. It takes time and processing through. Being so brave as to share your story here is a huge step. Keep talking and keep moving forward. Assumingly you are over 18 now and can make your own choices ?
Oh my goodness I'm so sorry. This should not be happening and I really wish you could've had loving foster parents like the one in this video. I truly hope it gets better for you, and when I'm older, I want to adopt as many children as I can and love them so that the odds of what happened to you are less and don't have to repeated.
Caroline S I have let my guard down in the past to what I found out later was the wrong people and each time I would get hurt my guard just got higher and higher and now I can’t let my guard down for anyone at all. I literally trust no one in the world. It has turned me into a pessimist. I don’t even have enough trust to go to the doctor or the dentist or a psychologist. I am 37, no kids, which is fine with me and single with no friends or family in my life. Everything I do is by myself. Holidays are depressing. I just sleep all day if I am not working to avoid getting sad. I felt so out of place in the world for so long and for a while I could ignore it but recently it has really started to bother me. I know my life is worthless and I was never meant for existence, just trying to decide what to do about it :(
The Ohana Preserve yes I am 37 now and still dealing with issues. I have thought about talking to a counselor but my trust in any one is pretty much non existent. It has gotten worse over the years, probably because I never got help for it.
A friend of mine took on 10 year old and 4 year old girl siblings "just for the weekend" according to the social worker. And ended up having them for 2 years, two months and the 2 days. The change in the girls confidence over that time was amazing. I loved getting to know them and was happy for them when they ended up being able to move in to live with their older sister and her husband and their 3 girls.
I'm 61 years old. I was in foster care at a young age . Got switched to foster families so often . You seem so caring . Thanks for being there for miss A
I have two friends in the foster care system. They live in a group home and they are the best people I've ever met. However, the lady doesnt properly supply them a lot. One has attempted suicide and they both had tried to run.
They dont deserve whats happen and they shouldn't have to ask me for toilerties and lady supplies. I really hope you understand that you are doing a lot more than other foster parents and I respect for you for that.
I'm surprised your Target doesn't have self check-out. All the Target's I have been in have them
You know what... they do! I’m stupid lol. We just had so much I thought it would be easier to the cashier but next time we will do the self checkout.
Liberty S. my target dosent have a self checkout :(
My target doesn’t 😔
I was a caseworker for 3 years and i think it’s absolutely amazing how you’re making videos like this for other potential and existing foster parents ❤️.
Although I am still too young, I would love to foster one day! There are too many kids that go through horrible situations and some foster homes don’t help, so I hope I can one day help kids in these situations! Also I’m from the Cincinnati area too!
I recently turned 40 and am realizing the fact that i most likely won't have any of my own children and its made me think about wanting to foster specially bcuz i know i have lots of love to give and iv heard too many stories of abuse within the system and i don't think a child should be removed from a bad situation and then put into another dangerous one!
I love that ur showing so much compassion for this little girl and have been fortunate enough to spoil her a lil bit and get her all the things a young girl mite need or want and it seems like because of that and the little time uv had so far has really helped make her transition a lot smoother!
I look forward to watching more of ur video's and i hope lil'miss A can heal and have a great future, take care krissy
You should. It is an amazing experience. We are new foster parents to a 15 year old girl and are so glad we did it.
Does it matter that I'm single?? How long is the process, I'm sure its different all over,, I'm canadian B.C
krissy you should also watch crazy pices and crazy middles channel they adopt and foster
@@krissy8045 hey I just did some research and you can foster if you're single (in Canada) !!!!!!!! I'm so excited for you and hope you foster a child! Hopefully I will someday too!
I think you may be the kindest soul on RUclips. You are a breath of fresh air
It's so refreshing to see people who genuinely care. You're such a sweet and thoughtful person. The world needs more people like you.
that's so heartbreaking that the caseworker she came with was so bad! I would say miss A is lucky to come to you, but of course, if it wasn't for a really bad situation prior, they wouldn't have to, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say with that.
Fostering is so rewarding.....my wife and I are foster parents to 2 high needs children and just been accepted to foster babies. Just seeing our kids smile make it all worth it.
Kym Hillier you are so right!
Dogs are in the unconditional love department. Thank you for opening your home to these lovely children who need love, support and security. Thank you for giving love to them!
Our dogs really helped us with our foster son. He was truly anxious, and they ended up being buddies.
I wish there where more foster parents like you when I was in the system would of been nice with no abuse. Love what you do I'm 16 and got adopted when I was 4 but the foster parents I had hated me
:( I’m so sorry Olivia, were you able to speak up and report those people?
Same
Wow that was so wrong of the case worker . Miss A is a person who is in a situation that isn’t easy for both foster parents or her .
I love this!! I've never had a foster parent go above and beyond to make sure I was comfortable in their home! God bless you guys! 😭😊
Still watching the video as I comment...social workers dont care a whole lot. It's a terrible thing that they just drop off the kid and take off! I might make a video dedicated to social workers when I was in foster care. It makes me so mad that they aren't as empathetic and informative in such a tender situation.
It's Miss Yvette that is such a shame. I hope we can inspire more caring families to take in the kids who need a home.
Your video makes me wanna cry! Your heart is so caring and genuine!!! 😭😭
My heart hurts reading your comment. I could not imagine treating any child that was living in my home any different from my own children. Children are innocent precious souls that need the love and nurturing this family provides. I’m so sorry you did not get that.
The foster system in my country is disgusting as well. One boy I took on was very damaged and in the two years that he was with me he had 8 different social worker changes. I wish that every child had a loving family because that is what they deserve. Life is unbearable for some children and I would have thought that every country would by now be able to put the changes needed into practice so that no child would fall through the tracks.
I can't wait till I'm old enough and have the ability to Foster and adopt kids
As a social worker this is pretty interesting to see! Also: super thankful you are so respectful of her privacy!!!!
I would like to know what makes this so interesting. Shouldn't this be the normal experience, and not an outlier?
I love that you foster teens. When i was in the states custody nobody would take me in because i was “too old.” Its just really nice to see that there’s someone out there fostering for the right reasons ❤️
Do you have a P.O box address we can send some bits and pieces to? I have some great books I loved as a teen I can send over from NZ :)
Hannah Cairncross this is such a good idea!! I have so many Jaqueline Wilsons lying around
Hannah Cairncross Great idea! I would love to help too. Teenagers require a lot of upkeep! 😆
I agree, im leaving gome soon and would like to see my old manga read again
OO! I have lots of books, too! I was just about to do some spring cleaning as well! This is a great idea!
I'm a teen and there are some books that I would love to send as well because they help me alot
Your sure are the right person for fostering. So thoughtful.
Not sure why RUclips recommended this but I’m not even mad! what you’re doing is amazing & has even inspired me to look into this for when I’m older.
You seem like such a kind and caring mom. Wishing you the best with Miss A. She sounds like a sweetheart. I hope I can be as good of a mom as you one day
I was with 3 families in foster care. Only one cared about me genuinely and wanting to make me comfortable. I went to the movies with their daughter. The mother made a big breakfast every morning. They listened when i spoke. Watched horror movies with me cause they were my favorite. The father was a prankster. And genuinely amazing people. You seem to be that way. And will forever make an impact on these kids. They will remember forever. I was 15 in foster care. Im turning 27. Still remember them very fondly despite not being there long. I finally got to go home. I have great parents. Just an unforseen situation. Bless you. Please continue to make these kids feel welcomed!
This young girl sounds so much like how I was in when I first entered the system years ago. I also had blamed myself for my siblings being separated and was embarrassed and frustrated about being in foster care. I luckily went to a family where they helped with the adjustment and they ended up guardianshiping my younger brothers. I’m about to graduate college and even though I still have contact with my bio family every now and then, I go to my foster parents house at-least once a week and consider then my family.
You are honestly amazing for helping that little girl feel secure and wanted. It’s a difficult situation to be in. Just having someone who seems like they actually care means a lot. I hope this placement goes well for both parties 💙
Omg you are such a sweet woman. She will be so excited to see that you’re a foster mom that cares. Those little things can change everything for a foster child. They may have not been given a gift like a journal, in years.
Thank you for treating her like a human being that has worth! We were foster parents for 4.5 years and as hard and frustrating as it was, I absolutely loved it and can’t wait until we can do it again. We adopted 2 of our kids from foster care. Our last video was us celebrating the anniversary of their adoption day. Do you plan on adopting? We need more people like you who care!!!!!
I know most people have commented this already but I'm happy that you kept the young girls identity completely secret and not put them right in front of the camera for cash
How do 260 people dislike this? This is sweet!
If you haven’t already, you should watch The Fosters. We need to give these kids the tools to be good and productive humans and we need to know how to provide them these tools. Also, dollar stores are good for necessities and Ross or Burlington for clothing. You can save a good amount of money, and if you want you can give them that money for emergencies.
I only ever hear bad things about foster parents and the system, but this made me have some hope.
I was in foster care from 6 months to nearly 5. My foster mom adopted me and continued to be a foster mom until I was about 8. You sound amazing and I wish all the best for you and your family.
So refreshing to see someone with a good heart, I raised three girls and they really do need their own personal little 'treasures' to call their own, great job.
We sound pretty similar as to how we approach new children arriving. I’ve just had a sibling group of 3 arrive with me and it’s so important to chat to them individually, get to know them, help them feel settled and comfortable during this difficult time in their life 💞
This is so cute! You guys didn’t get too overly-involved, just gave her some items that she could enjoy and allow her to have alone time.
I'm sitting here crying like a little baby. I hope you know you are changing kids lives. Even if they're just in your care for a few weeks. Miss A sounds like an awesome girl who has been thru some shit. Thank you for opening your home to kids who need love, and compassion and just a safe place. Definitely a new subby.
MacKenzie B you are so kind! Email us at whitneyandjohn6113@gmail.com and we can connect :)
Former foster youth here, in the system from 92’-94’ then again 07’-10’ all in San Bernardino county and I have to say, thank you so much for this omg I’m crying, this was non conceivable to me when I was in the system. So beautiful
I’ve been in over 15 homes as well. None like this at all
Reading some stuff in the comments, I’m sad to see people have had negative foster homes. Why do people take children in if they won’t care about them? Just for money? They’re kids and need so much love. Makes me angry. I hope you all know you are valid and you deserve everything in the world 🙂
You are an example to other foster parents. You are respectful, understanding and kind. You do not force her to be on camera. You don’t mind buying her things. And you are sympathetic and kind.
❤️
I don’t know why RUclips’s algorithm gave me this, but this is wonderful. I’m only a few minutes in but I was wondering, is foster daughter #1 sharing the room w/ #2 or is this a different bedroom you had set up just in case and she already had her own (#1)
When I was 13 I was placed in a foster home. 300 miles away from home, as I was a chronic runaway. The issues I was experiencing at home brought me to some dark places and I I had absolutely no guidance, protection or sense of belonging. I can feel your care and compassion for Ms. A and it brings me to tears. My foster mother was a huge part of showing me the love, care and understanding a real mother would give to her daughter. I was discharged 2 years later and I had a true heartfelt bond with my foster mom. She cried so hard she was shaking and so was I... She told me she didn't care about the support from the county and would take care of me for as long as I needed😢 Fast forward only 6 month I was already in trouble in the cities (she lived 300 miles away)and ready to be sent to a girls home. My foster mother caught wind and talked with the judge, told him she doesn't need a facility she needs love😢. She came to get me and I stayed with her for almost 8 more months. My foster mother came to the cities when my first son was born and when my twin sons were born. We stayed in contact but loosing touch the past 5 years. She died 2 weeks ago and I took it very hard. She was there for me in some of my darkest moments and I was absent through her sickness. I pray she truly knows what an angel she was in my life. I love her so very much... Sorry for the rambling this video just popped up in my feed and it brought me back to that place. You are doing something so beautiful and I can imagine with your heart some of those children will always hold a special place in their heart for you as well. Thanks for listening and best wishes❤❤❤❤
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Having a pet is a great thing as often kids gravitate to pets. I have service dog and know he’s a great companion when I’m struggling and not in frame of mind to want to speak to people. Your guys really are showing others how fostering can be positive for all. I’ve no connection with fostering and honestly don’t know why I started watching but really loved watching this and will definitely view more videos. The balance of anonymity and information was excellent too
I’m 13, but when I’m old enough I really want to be a foster parent, so thanks for sharing what it’s like
Clara Lyon me too!! Hearing this makes me feel not as crazy about thinking about that already
You’re incredible, your preparation brought me to tears. We need more people like you involved in the very flawed system
Researching becoming an emergency placement foster parent. Thank you for the intell
Dank Tank Drag Kings awesome!! It is incredibly rewarding even if it can be a scary process at times. Glad this video helped :)
Do you have a paypal to contribute to you guys to provide for these kids?
@@elizabetha5561 paypal.me.jsar14 I appreciate anything every little bit helps. We need to stash up the stock pile The Village was talking about at the vary least.
It’s so great to know there are wonderful foster families to help those little souls who need it. I was sickened when you said the case worker that dropped her off was adamant you all knew this child only needed the “essentials”. Broke my heart right there. The fact you see this young girl as a person, a child that not only needs but deserves love says so much about the person you are. I love that you don’t pressure her, allow her personal space while letting her know your there for her. That her feelings are valid. I hope she gets to stay with you for as long as allowed. She obviously needs the love, support, consistency and validation you and your husband will freely give her. May God bless you all. 💗
No clue why this video was recommended to me, but you seem like a genuinely lovely person! Keep doing what you do.
I wish my younger brother and I had someone like you as a foster mom. The home we spent the longest in was such a toxic environment. Never had help with homework, weren’t cared for when we got sick, and they taught us to hate our biological mother. Never even attempted to help make us comfortable or help us settle into the home after traumatically being taken from our mother. I always felt like things happened the way they did because we were bad kids thanks to that foster family.
As someone who doesn't want kids but still wants to help in some way, I feel like being a foster parent would be a good middle ground for me. I know that there are many children in the system with issues of all kinds, but I feel like, if I try and keep reminding myself what it's for, it would be worth it
Keep up the beautiful work, god bless! :D
As a former foster child I am in tears watching this, I can’t believe there are people out there that actually go out of their way to make their foster children comfortable. Knowing they are nervous about costs and knowing how truly hard it is to be dropped into someone else’s life. I was given the bare minimum in my placement, still went my grouphome rules (phone privileges, not being able to spend time outside of the house and school) you guys are amazing. I’m so so so happy she has such a support system. Sorry this is so long I am just so emotional to see how you care for someone you don’t know. Thank you. You are what is right in the system and you give me hope for some other foster children out there. Thank you.
I am a Foster Mom as well. I have had two short term placements with teenage girls. It has been a trial but I will continue to keep my head up and continue fostering. Teens need the love and support in their lives.
She sounds like a lovely girl!! You are such a caring and considerate person, I think I would love to foster in the future as well.
My husband and I are parents of a 26yr old son who is a Naval Officer and now that we're empty nesters. We're thinking of becoming foster parents
youre real proud of that Navy son, huh?! i would consider if at your age, stamina will be a problem. fostering is not just to have a kid in the home.
DO IT!!!!! Even just thinking about it is amazing
The person who sent that nasty post, well look at their name. "I Don't Know" Sounds like they DON'T know. Go for it.
That would be very good of you guys to do that!
Do it!! I can’t wait to donir but need a larger home first (not my studio:) And- Congratulations! And TY to your son❤I’m so proud of my fathers Navy service ❤
While I was in 14 foster homes none of them do what you did for me when I first came into their house I love the fact that you made sure that there were things that they might need to get settled dressed like a new toothbrush a journal to write down their thoughts I am 33 years old now I also have cerebral palsy thank you for what you're doing for the 4th of June that you have in your chair keep on thank you for what you're doing for the 4th of June that you have in your care keep on doing the best that you can for them may God richly bless you for all you're doing
As someone who’s in school to become a social worker and has future plans to foster. This totally warmed my heart, thank you for making this transition normal for her as you possible good. You guys appear to be amazing parents! I can’t wait to follow along on this journey with you all.
Krysta Howell thank you for the work you will be doing!