I can't remember where I heard it but there's this quote, "never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down after being told to calm down".
"No one notices me, right?" "Just walk to class, wait am I walking right?" "It doesn't feel like I'm walking right." "I hope no one notices my awkward walk." "Maybe if I speed it up by 5% faster and just get through it sooner." "Though not too fast or people will see I'm walking too fast" "got to be at least 5 minutes early, before too many people are in the room" "though not too early either, don't want to be the first there either, that is bad too." Ok there are some specific thoughts I used to have going to class in college.
With social anxiety and college the most frustrating thing is the professor not understanding. As for my gradschool experience my professors are all phycologist so they get it and it helps so much.
I have dealt with anxiety my entire life. As an adult I have been able to get therapy and it has changed my relationship with my husband, family and friends. By far the best thing that has come out of therapy is me being able to be the best version of myself for my loved ones and now as a mother and grandmother I am able to see the signs of anxiety in my children and their children and help them seek the assistance they need to be the best version of themselves and they don't have to wait as long as I did.
16:40 it hits home. I remember a time when I was suffering from an extreme anxiety attack and couldn’t accept any of this from my loved ones, but I was also sad to see they got hurt by my refusal…
I have social anxiety, The other day, I found out one of my classmates also was diagnosed with it. It honestly made me feel a little bit better, because now I knew that I wasn't the only one. He usually gets picked on by the others, always playful though and not intended as hurting him. I had recognized similar attributes of social anxiety that I had in him. Lately he's been showing a lot more openness towards me after he confronted me about it ( This was really surprising to me as he never really confronted anyone.) I ended up confiding in him and he in I. It was really nice to know that I wasn't alone and I've found that he's really sweet just equally nervous! The day I started taking the signs into consideration was on the dreaded presentation day! He was stuttering a lot and every few seconds he would cover his face with his hoodie, the look on his face after he would pull away from it physically pained me. It hit so close to home and I really just wanted to tell him it was okay and give him a comfort hug(If he was okay with it of course!) I have a really huge friend crush, I don't know what to do other than keep trying to be his friend! Sorry for that vent-ish thing that story was! Anyways, I'm here if anyone needs to vent, or talk about anything! And of course I'll do internet hugs to the best of my ability! Love you all!
Loved this video. Much of my work also focuses on anxiety and OCD related disorders, and everything you mentioned was spot on. These are the same sentiments I discuss with my patients.
During every parent-teacher interview in high school I would get told by my teachers that I need to ask questions when I need help and after every interview my parents would tell me I needed to make eye contact with my teachers, lol. Didn't realise for myself that social anxiety was a thing until late high school. It certainly caused me to drop out of university - twice. I'm 26 now and I still struggle to ask for help and make eye contact along with a whole bunch of other things (work is a nightmare). I wonder if things would have been different if someone had realised earlier on that my behaviour was a result of more than just being shy.
That first video paired with your commentary really called me out... Hate eye contact (especially with blue eyes, even though they are beautiful) just because it makes everything awkward and uncomfortable. Asking to go to the bathroom was always difficult and the feeling of needing to go was amplified because I was anxious. Normally avoided asking for help but felt like a burden when I did. I always tried to take the lead in group activities because I didn't want anyone else's work to influence my grade. Honestly, I'd much rather let the other people in my group chat and do whatever while I'm stuck with all the work. We'll all get a good grade, you get to have fun, and I don't have to worry about socializing.
My parents yelled and screamed at me as a kid beacause I was “ to mature “ for my age and I didn’t wanna be around other kids, I got scolded and hit …that caused a lot of trauma looking back on it.
@@Mitzi-chan224 No they are 2 different disorders that are a lot a like Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is a newer term that includes nervousness in any social setting, including smaller or one-on-one social engagements. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) causes feelings of anxiety or excessive worry over everyday events or the future, in and out of social settings
Thank you 😊 as a person with social anxiety AND anxiety and has panick attacks all that time, i missed nearly my whole year 5 dealing with my anxiety not wanting to go into school. I assure you this is all true and I go to Thearpy a lot. To all my friends like me, i hope you are doing well. This video really helped me❤
I still remember when I was failing Japanese 101 from the workload (I'm a perfectionist) and how my Japanese teacher (actually from Japan) took me aside after class and was so worried about me. Asking if I knew that I was failing her class. I told her, with a smile, "Oh I already know, but thank you so much for your concern. It's refreshing to see a teacher actually worried about a student in a world where most teachers either don't care about their students or don't have time to care." (USA, Phoenix, Arizona Circa Late 2007 to Early 2010). After quitting my only U.S. job at a 99 Cents Store to finish college for my family's sake.
Re. not asking for help-I think it's important to recognize that this is sometimes learned and rational. People don't help. The more you ask, the more that's reinforced.
I would love to see you react to a Kdrama that deals with mental health. Some possible shows being Chocolate, Just between Lovers, Flower Boy Next Door, or Kill Me Heal Me.
Hi Doctor, I'm actually suffering from social anxiety and the must difficult is that mine make me act weird. I have tryed to overcome the fear but the weird acting just won't go away. It's really bothering me because people do not take seriously. Some are even ferious when they see me. They may look Somewhere else just to avoid me. What can I do. It's really difficult for me even at work.
The one about playing music is so funny. If somebody walks past my house and I’m listening to music or even just watching tv I immediately turn it off even if they can’t hear or see me 😂 also if I’m playing music in my car I’ll turn it down if I’m driving past people.
I like this video! I have a question can social anxiety be "cured" with medication or is it only treatment? I got diagnosed a year ago and it feels like my medication fixed my anxiety.
Medications can help, but they can't cure. You can be on medication and think that your anxiety is "cured", but then sometimes you can have anxiety attacks again. Im not a professional or whatever, im just saying this from personal experience.
I had one of my first anxiety attacks at college bc my step dad died right before a big performance. I could not focus i couldnt do anything but stare at the wall. so i went to the professor office and was about to ask for help took all day to get up and go down to his office from the dorms. When i knocked on his office door he flung it open and started berating me for interrupting him outside of his office ours. Which i didnt even think about bc well i wasnt aware of what time it was and i didnt want to ask him for the help to begin with. I started crying and couldn't breath or explain. A teacher aid heard this go down pulled me into her side office held me for a long time till i calmed down and told her what was happening. So she told me to go back to the dorms and she would handle it. I heard her knock on his office as i was leaving the hall and i basically ran away. I dropped out a little while after that bc i just couldnt do it anymore. I regret that a lot honestly.
Heh, the young lad stepping on the glass with the dozens of pounds of weight upon it reminds me of the Captain Morgan pose, one of my ancestors as it happens hehehahaha.
1:33 What is asking for help like as you age.....I need help....silence. Excuse me I need help, silence. Yes I am in trouble, I need help silence. We need help, silence. Our nation is in trouble, silence. Whole towns are being wiped out silence. Stop asking for help, because there is none. Solution, get off your backside, and don't bother asking for help, because all you will get is silence. And sort out the anxiety yourself....because it exists because of inaction, immaturity and exclusion along with having to deal with corruption...face it, process it and take action...I had the worst anxiety disorders with no cure.....and I am in remission....be the help that you need, because it is within you already. Be at peace with silence, Be at peace with your life.
Hey, DR Ali Mattu CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST I want you to make one video on IMPOSTER SYNDROME... though it is not officially diagnostic in DSM-5 BUT please ensure me how to cope with this. Have you got any patient of this kind of syndrome???
TikTok kids don't understand what Anxiety is like, you get chest pain; like your having a heart attack. Hyperventilation, ect. They will never understand, I've had Anxiety my whole life.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
What do you want me to react to next?
How do you heal health anxiety?
Would love to see you react to the Andrew T Austin projection analysis that Critical Minds did.
depersenalzation
Bpd tiktoks
The vampire diaries. It was so big among us when we were teens. I want people to know that it had some bad messages.
I can't remember where I heard it but there's this quote, "never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down after being told to calm down".
Love this!
THIS, 1000%
Don't tell people to calm down!! Like, thanks Captain Obvious, I never though of that *eyeroll*
Yes!!! 😮😮
So true. Someone to listen to and/or talk to, a quiet room, and soothing music are the best medicines for those with extreme social anxiety.
"No one notices me, right?"
"Just walk to class, wait am I walking right?"
"It doesn't feel like I'm walking right."
"I hope no one notices my awkward walk."
"Maybe if I speed it up by 5% faster and just get through it sooner."
"Though not too fast or people will see I'm walking too fast"
"got to be at least 5 minutes early, before too many people are in the room"
"though not too early either, don't want to be the first there either, that is bad too."
Ok there are some specific thoughts I used to have going to class in college.
With social anxiety and college the most frustrating thing is the professor not understanding. As for my gradschool experience my professors are all phycologist so they get it and it helps so much.
I have dealt with anxiety my entire life. As an adult I have been able to get therapy and it has changed my relationship with my husband, family and friends. By far the best thing that has come out of therapy is me being able to be the best version of myself for my loved ones and now as a mother and grandmother I am able to see the signs of anxiety in my children and their children and help them seek the assistance they need to be the best version of themselves and they don't have to wait as long as I did.
i feel so bad for you, for me it started when i was 8. you’re not alone and i know how horrible it can be.
your voice and the rhythm of your speech reminds me of john green. its very nice to listen too
That’s high praise! John Green is the best.
16:40 it hits home. I remember a time when I was suffering from an extreme anxiety attack and couldn’t accept any of this from my loved ones, but I was also sad to see they got hurt by my refusal…
Great vid! I love that you gave credit and shouted out a collegue!
I have social anxiety, The other day, I found out one of my classmates also was diagnosed with it. It honestly made me feel a little bit better, because now I knew that I wasn't the only one. He usually gets picked on by the others, always playful though and not intended as hurting him. I had recognized similar attributes of social anxiety that I had in him. Lately he's been showing a lot more openness towards me after he confronted me about it ( This was really surprising to me as he never really confronted anyone.) I ended up confiding in him and he in I. It was really nice to know that I wasn't alone and I've found that he's really sweet just equally nervous!
The day I started taking the signs into consideration was on the dreaded presentation day! He was stuttering a lot and every few seconds he would cover his face with his hoodie, the look on his face after he would pull away from it physically pained me. It hit so close to home and I really just wanted to tell him it was okay and give him a comfort hug(If he was okay with it of course!)
I have a really huge friend crush, I don't know what to do other than keep trying to be his friend!
Sorry for that vent-ish thing that story was! Anyways, I'm here if anyone needs to vent, or talk about anything! And of course I'll do internet hugs to the best of my ability! Love you all!
I just discovered this channel and already love it! Keep up the good work!
Empathy does not equal agreement - my Uni lecturer said this on repeat.
Thank you for your insights doc!
As someone with GAD and Social Anxiety these really speak to me.
Loved this video. Much of my work also focuses on anxiety and OCD related disorders, and everything you mentioned was spot on. These are the same sentiments I discuss with my patients.
During every parent-teacher interview in high school I would get told by my teachers that I need to ask questions when I need help and after every interview my parents would tell me I needed to make eye contact with my teachers, lol. Didn't realise for myself that social anxiety was a thing until late high school. It certainly caused me to drop out of university - twice. I'm 26 now and I still struggle to ask for help and make eye contact along with a whole bunch of other things (work is a nightmare). I wonder if things would have been different if someone had realised earlier on that my behaviour was a result of more than just being shy.
That first video paired with your commentary really called me out... Hate eye contact (especially with blue eyes, even though they are beautiful) just because it makes everything awkward and uncomfortable. Asking to go to the bathroom was always difficult and the feeling of needing to go was amplified because I was anxious. Normally avoided asking for help but felt like a burden when I did. I always tried to take the lead in group activities because I didn't want anyone else's work to influence my grade. Honestly, I'd much rather let the other people in my group chat and do whatever while I'm stuck with all the work. We'll all get a good grade, you get to have fun, and I don't have to worry about socializing.
My parents yelled and screamed at me as a kid beacause I was “ to mature “ for my age and I didn’t wanna be around other kids, I got scolded and hit …that caused a lot of trauma looking back on it.
I’m really sorry that happened to you
As a person with anxiety AND social anxiety I overthink every second of my life in many different ways
anxiety and social anxiety are the same disorder.
@@Mitzi-chan224 No they are 2 different disorders that are a lot a like
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is a newer term that includes nervousness in any social setting, including smaller or one-on-one social engagements. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) causes feelings of anxiety or excessive worry over everyday events or the future, in and out of social settings
Why dont you have more attention 😭 I wish I could have found your account sooner your videos are the best I have ever found
Thank you 😊 as a person with social anxiety AND anxiety and has panick attacks all that time, i missed nearly my whole year 5 dealing with my anxiety not wanting to go into school. I assure you this is all true and I go to Thearpy a lot. To all my friends like me, i hope you are doing well. This video really helped me❤
ALL MY FRIENDS, TYPE HERE
I still remember when I was failing Japanese 101 from the workload (I'm a perfectionist) and how my Japanese teacher (actually from Japan) took me aside after class and was so worried about me. Asking if I knew that I was failing her class. I told her, with a smile, "Oh I already know, but thank you so much for your concern. It's refreshing to see a teacher actually worried about a student in a world where most teachers either don't care about their students or don't have time to care." (USA, Phoenix, Arizona Circa Late 2007 to Early 2010). After quitting my only U.S. job at a 99 Cents Store to finish college for my family's sake.
Re. not asking for help-I think it's important to recognize that this is sometimes learned and rational. People don't help. The more you ask, the more that's reinforced.
Pushing people to ask for help is common in mental health messaging. For some of us, it's just setting us up for more failure.
I would love to see you react to a Kdrama that deals with mental health. Some possible shows being Chocolate, Just between Lovers, Flower Boy Next Door, or Kill Me Heal Me.
I really dislike group activities. I prefer to do it on my own
Them: calm down!
Me: oh ya! I’m just TRYING to get worked up over nothing!
You should post more often, I love your videos, they are super helpfun and nice 🥺
Thanks! I’ll have more this year. I’ve been working on a book which has been taking up most of my time.
@@drali Best of luck with the book, I'm sure it will be amazing 😌
Hi Doctor,
I'm actually suffering from social anxiety and the must difficult is that mine make me act weird. I have tryed to overcome the fear but the weird acting just won't go away. It's really bothering me because people do not take seriously. Some are even ferious when they see me. They may look Somewhere else just to avoid me. What can I do. It's really difficult for me even at work.
Thanks !
The one about playing music is so funny. If somebody walks past my house and I’m listening to music or even just watching tv I immediately turn it off even if they can’t hear or see me 😂 also if I’m playing music in my car I’ll turn it down if I’m driving past people.
validating their feelings is important
That tiktok gave me the boost i needed to take my meds. Clipping it and saving it on my phone. :)
I like this video! I have a question can social anxiety be "cured" with medication or is it only treatment? I got diagnosed a year ago and it feels like my medication fixed my anxiety.
Medications can help, but they can't cure. You can be on medication and think that your anxiety is "cured", but then sometimes you can have anxiety attacks again. Im not a professional or whatever, im just saying this from personal experience.
I have anxiety growing up but I grow out of it or forced myself to grow out of it because talking about mental health is a taboo in my country.
FAbulous video! Thank you.
Your psychological perspective on the Andy Austin analysis on Critical Minds is required!
I had one of my first anxiety attacks at college bc my step dad died right before a big performance. I could not focus i couldnt do anything but stare at the wall. so i went to the professor office and was about to ask for help took all day to get up and go down to his office from the dorms. When i knocked on his office door he flung it open and started berating me for interrupting him outside of his office ours. Which i didnt even think about bc well i wasnt aware of what time it was and i didnt want to ask him for the help to begin with. I started crying and couldn't breath or explain. A teacher aid heard this go down pulled me into her side office held me for a long time till i calmed down and told her what was happening. So she told me to go back to the dorms and she would handle it. I heard her knock on his office as i was leaving the hall and i basically ran away. I dropped out a little while after that bc i just couldnt do it anymore. I regret that a lot honestly.
Are these partners who can support like that really exist? 😢
I wish he was my therapist he looks so fun
" WE COnTROL our actions " , not our thoughts. 👏👏👏😼👍
This whole video is basically just him calling me out 😂
Heh, the young lad stepping on the glass with the dozens of pounds of weight upon it reminds me of the Captain Morgan pose, one of my ancestors as it happens hehehahaha.
great metaphor !!! Of the weights on the cup.
😲
underrated
1:33 What is asking for help like as you age.....I need help....silence. Excuse me I need help, silence. Yes I am in trouble, I need help silence. We need help, silence. Our nation is in trouble, silence. Whole towns are being wiped out silence.
Stop asking for help, because there is none. Solution, get off your backside, and don't bother asking for help, because all you will get is silence. And sort out the anxiety yourself....because it exists because of inaction, immaturity and exclusion along with having to deal with corruption...face it, process it and take action...I had the worst anxiety disorders with no cure.....and I am in remission....be the help that you need, because it is within you already. Be at peace with silence, Be at peace with your life.
Yes!!!, great example to do instead of invalidating someone. !!
Im fortune to have a supportive partner !! ❤😊
Awesome education!!!!😮😮
I have social anxiety we're I scratch my neck and look away from people
Hey, DR Ali Mattu
CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST
I want you to make one video on IMPOSTER SYNDROME... though it is not officially diagnostic in DSM-5
BUT please ensure me how to cope with this.
Have you got any patient of this kind of syndrome???
It’s an older video but here you go: ruclips.net/video/3R-IPNyU8OI/видео.html
doc i need you help in my anxiety
What is a minor you suggest that goes well with psych?
go example CONNER !! 😮
oh! hi! :3
Cognigtive
TikTok kids don't understand what Anxiety is like, you get chest pain; like your having a heart attack. Hyperventilation, ect. They will never understand, I've had Anxiety my whole life.
Uh... , cringe remembering the group forced activities. 🙄
Horrible!! , what the teachers did...🤦🏼♀️