Cello Scrotum and Radium Water: Citation Needed 4x03
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 27 янв 2016
- This week, we're taking on the world of medicine as we run through dodgy research, quack cures, and homeopathic kitten chlamydia.
BONUS MATERIAL: • The Tale of Gary's Sta...
FULL PLAYLIST: • Citation Needed, from ...
OFFICIAL ALL-NEW WEB SITE and MORE AUDIO EPISODES: techdif.co.uk
Thanks again to our anonymous subtitler, and all the people who've helped translate last week's episode!
TOM is at tomscott.com or @tomscott on Twitter
MATT is at mattg.co.uk or @unnamedculprit
GARY is @garybrannan on Twitter
and CHRIS doesn't do this social media nonsense.
Today's accidental experiment: does putting "scrotum" in the title of a video mean more or less people click on it?
Tom Scott Chimney Sweeps were very predisposed to scrotum cancer as many young adolescents would clean Chimneys in the nude and not bathe off the carcinogens.
Conclusion?
Nowadays it means you get demonetized.
yes
Intresting 🤔
Golfer's elbow: lateral epicondylitis, tennis elbow: medial epicondylitis. Other side of the elbow, innit.
Are you the guy with the tractors?
Also contracted by climbers on bouldering walls that don't do opposing exercises and stretching.
@@dave_h_8742 I exacerbated my cowshit scraping induced symptoms by my shitty bouldering technique!
Huh
I should have something clever to write about 'other side of the elbow' but I just can't find it.
"JUST EAT SOME F***ING CONCRETE!!!" Somebody please make a compilation of Brannan's rants (or "Brants" if you will)
in fairness, i own a piece of the berlin wall, and i don't have claustrophobia.
@@sylenzos6869 so it is working, then.
@@StrokeMahEgo science!
And I won't
There's something brilliant about Gary's medical-professor-in-a-homeorotic-housing-situation-with-a-kinky-cellist impression.
My only thought during the whole "drop trou" joke was "not Lord Lucan!"
I was thinking more Cleveland Steamer...
'Homeopathic Berlin Wall'
'What's that for? Communism?!'
That just cracked me up so bad
F*ck off!
***** What
I loved that whole "Wait, homeopathy is _what?_ That's moronic!" rant. Though I kinda wish someone else had been like "Well, yeah, duh."
“The radium water worked fine until his jaw fell off.”
*cuts to Chris drinking water*
... Re-watching this (for the fourth time at least) after the better part of a year, I finally realised why everyone spent so long laughing after Tom's response to Chris's intro.
wait why? what did I miss?
@@Proygondick joke ecs dee
Wink wink nudge nudge
"nobody's heard knob gags before"
There was a joke there for a cease and de-cyst order.
"The doctor told the sore-bottomed cyclist to cease and de-cyst." That what you were thinking of?
eyyyy
Cello scrotum? Bollocks!
Anyone going to look up ( pun intended ) Jeep bum ?
I love brannan's little rant, it made me cry with laughter xD
Communism!?
I have also experienced the failure to explain a concept as stupid as homeopathy
Very informative and extremely funny - especially the 'Berlin Wall' outburst. I enjoyed the talk about 'Radium Water', too. The Americans were obsessed with the stuff. To this end, there are two words which should remain mutually exclusive, viz: 'Radioactive' and 'Toy'. Guess what? The Americans made one - the 'Gilbert Cloud Chamber', which contained Radium isotopes so that you could play at being Lord Rutherford in the comfort of your own home. Until your jaw falls off, that is.
5 years late, but apparently the kit (IF USED PROPERLY) was only equivalent to the exposure of the Sun's UV radiation. Emphasis on IF USED PROPERLY. I uh... don't trust kids not to keep the samples sealed up properly.
Because the material used in them only produces alpha particles
npc
Can't remember if it was a modern joke or if it was actually real but I recall a model size nuclear power plant. Also there was just a fairly advanced chemistry set.
@@spidermanmyers it’s real. You could even order more uranium through the mail. I wish I was joking. It’s from the 50s I think.
Actually. Golfers elbow is actually the exact opposite of tennis elbow.
Opposite mechanic and ligament
- They'll also sell you homeopathic Berlin wall.
- What's that for? Communism?
yes, I watched the video too!
"Three speeds, and only one of them reverse!" I mean, that makes sense. Reverse, stop, and forward.
As a cello player, I was curious as to where this was going. Not disappointed.
Well, this was kind of a difficult episode to understand for foreigners like me, who don't know all the medical expressions. Good thing there are subtitles, from which you can look up the meaning of these words. Huge thanks to whoever made those!
Can my life me narrated by Gary doing his old GP voice? Best thing ever.
Hehe “you don’t want to SEE what he did with his contrabassoon” 😂
"Oh, you didn't like my radium water? Well, here! Have the ingredients to make it yourself, see if you can do any better!"
It just occurred to me, peer review, House of Lords. It needs work but there’s probably a pun there.
I joined the Badger of the Month Club, but it takes ages to get the full sett.
+Matt Ferguson I can't believe I missed that. That's amazing.
+Tom Scott That is a much better joke, yes. :)
+Matt Ferguson You have to badger them to get it.
Gary Brannan q
Dont consume anything whilst watching this show it is the worst decision you will ever make and it may be your life
+Nillie YEa i had a glass of coke and i nearly died
+Alex Rooney i had a pile of coke and nearly died
+FlipFlopGaming Good on you man
+Alex Rooney I watched it at work, which led to my boss coming over to see why I was snickering continuously at lunch. He shot pop out his nose.
haha amazing
That was probably one of the best rants I've heard Gary do. And I'm going all the way back to "uncivil engineering."
"I expected it to be longer."
That is what she said.
She immediately recanted that statement after learning that he has Cello scrotum, and slapped him a few days later after learning that Cello scrotum isn't a real thing, and he had lied to her.
+The JVP
"later after"
Shlaatski Fatini san Cho It is in the same vein of had had, or that that, or our are. Confusing, but I believe it is still grammatically correct (well, the last one only is confusing in a verbal sense)
+The JVP English is confusing. later after makes sense.
Nintendo thumb is when you were playing the Mario party games on the N64 and you'd have to play those mini games where you'd have to spin the joy stick really rapidly and you'd tear your thumb pad or the pads of your hand up because of friction.
There was a law suit about that
@@janecowie3626 It cost Nintendo millions because they were forced to supply gloves, right?
@@ProminentCorpse not millions, they paid like $75000 in legal fees and also provided some cheap bicycle gloves to anyone who owned a console and asked for one, which I can't imagine cost more than a few hundred thousand if that
@@rickpgriffin That sounds more like the nintendo I know
Wow, the BMJ's review process has improved quite a bit. From publishing Cello Scrotum to being _the_ journal for medical research.
Thats what you think
I think that there is citation needed for "Her Majesty's Homeopathic Suppliers" because I can't find it anywhere.
It's a company I didn't want to name, but they have a Royal Warrant for supplying the Queen with remedies!
I did the research, it's Ainsworth Homeopathic Pharmacy
+Christian Williams Thanks, now I know where to go for all my homeopathic needs!
@@historymysteries4134 Well, we did import some royals from the Netherlands in 1689. I don't have a pun for Barrett though.
@@EdwardCree 😂👏
I just watched a couple of the latest episodes of Citation Needed and it's quickly becoming one of my absolute favourite series here on youtube! Fantastic stuff! It really was quite some time since I genuinely laughed out loud to some web entertainment (not to mention I learn tonnes of new stuff and improve my english comprehension).
Man, this is the greatest!
I don't think he knows homeopathic cures are considered more powerful the more diluted they are.They are measured in millions to 1 even bilions to 1. Which most of the time exceeds the number of atoms in the thing. So it's basically water. So you give water to your kitten to cure it's kitten chlamydia.
Which it pee's out ridding it's self of some of the infection (can Not rid it all or you cannot keep selling your kitten pills)
Tom said that - it's water that used to have chlamydia _in_ it
Still nonsense anyway
@@columbus8myhw the fabled 0 to 1 diluted cure
See as a cellist I genuinely thought for a moment when they mentioned cello scrotum someone had done some alarming artwork at the top a cello scroll (the fancy bit at the top) 😅
And if anyone is interested in the radium bit, there's a brilliant book called The Radium Girls by Kate Moore
If you think a picture of a Pilonidal Sinus is bad try having one, it's like having a small volcano at the top of your arse crack that erupts pure pain and is the sole reason I will never buy another leather office chair. Luckily mine healed itself before I had to have surgery which would have left me with an open wound - which is what I think most of the horrible image results are of.
For what it's worth, I googled for images of "jeep bottom", and was rewarded with lots of pictures of undersides of vehicles…
Lucky escape there!
Just don't google for "pilonidal cyst", mkay?
Phil Boswell you cheeky bugger
Some of the cars looked worse...
I had a pilonidal cyst last winter (2019-2020). It popped when I was five hours' drive away from my house, spending the New Years' week with my girlfriend at the time. It sucked, I was walking around with a towel hanging out of my pants to absorb the stuff that came out. I never actually got surgery for it, but I am fine now. I guess it fixed itself when I was up there, because all of the bad-smelling liquid was out and gone by the time I left at the end of the week.
Famous, true story about the English Conductor, Sir Thomas Beecham. He was conducting cellist Jacqueline Dupre in Elgar's Cello Concerto, when he stopped the orchestra and said, "Madame, that thing between your legs should be giving pleasure to thousands....but all you do is sit there and scratch it!"
The "cyclist's cyst" is called a pilonidal cyst. I had one a while ago, not very painful actually but it bleeds a LOT.
nintendinitis- pu nintended
Boooo!
Working as n-intended.
Pun intendoned.
😂😂😂 pu
You Brits really know how to do quiz shows. That was great, Tom!
I come back here 3 years later and I have tragically been diagnosed with Jeep Bottom and it is as horrifying as it sounds :/
The best thing is that the remnants of the Berlin wall probably have a bigger homeopathic effect on you from across the world than an actual homeopathic vial of the Berlin wall.
Can't blame BMJ for that... the article WAS Peer reviewed, of sorts! 🙃
Re: Golfer's Nipple: I think I've heard that referred to as "Jogger's Nipple" as well.
You can definitely google pictures of marathon runners bleeding from the nipples
Gary's rants are the best parts
7:00
One of the many senses we have aside from the well known five. Sense of the positions of your body parts in relation to each other. I've forgotten the proper name.
Proprioception.
Kinesthetic sense?
Along with pain, equilibrium, heat, and a bunch more conjectured but not fully accepted ones.
I've played cello for 6 years. The only pain I've ever suffred from is when I stroll with my cello behind my neck on the C peg for a strolling strings group
I got Nintendonitis once when I used to play console games and all that. Started reading books, got cured of it, but got Chester A.Arthuritis instead!
3:54 to 4:29 kills me every time! Gary is just brilliant.
I just have an image of Churchill with a stethoscope around his neck in my head heheh
"The worst police report I've ever heard" got a cackle out of me lmao
Golfer's elbow is not the same as tennis elbow. Golfer's affects the medial, inner, ligament of ths arm, tennis the lateral, outside, ligament.
The Fantastic Deviants headlining for The Furious Strumpets!
That tingling thing Gary mentioned, I've noticed throughout my life too. Especially with metal.
"Ninten... Nintendonitis!"
I mean, you have Sonic Hedgehog, Robotnikinin, Pikachurin... The scientists who come up with these must be gamers.
I had heard of all of those except the Robotnik one
@@dbseamz robotnikinin is the inhibiter for sonic hedgehog
what a bunch of lovable dorks.
I was trying to work out who the picture on Gary's hoodie was and what it had to do with The Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Galaxy.
It has nothing to do with it. It's a Dad's Army reference.
Aw man, nobody got any mystery biscuits...
You can get your own
You don't want them this time, they have radium inside.
They were homeopathic biscuits.
Damien Tonkin Then no harm in eating them
I ADORE how Gary is apparently channelling the Harry Enfield/Paul Whitehouse Harley Street surgeons at about the four-minute mark. :D
Here again after “bartenderʼs elbow”
That was a fantastic tangent to the whole thing!
I'm glad you didn't end up buying the homeopathics. Those scammers really don't need more money, not even as a joke.
at 7m, I'm not sure if I'm drunk, or if they're drunk. Well okay, I actually know that I'm drunk, but I'm still not convinced that they're not drunk.
+Mak Leto I'm loving this episode, but it's seriously going the farthest off the rails of any episode of the show. Amusing, but slightly startling!
"Hello" - Chris Joel
Perineal cysts are actually fuxking awful, I’ve had reoccurring ones for a while and having one drained one time, it is one of the most painful things (and I have chronic pain too oof)
New Citation Needed is always the highlight of my week :D
I love his rage. I wish I could be apart of this.
after like 5 episodes I can finally catch up to what you're saying. so proud of myself.
Talking of conditions associated with careers, I recently read an article suggesting people that vape could develop Popcorn Lung in later life (named for it's tenancy to affect workers in popcorn factories). Also, I have a relative that died of Emphysema which was not caused by tobacco smoking but rather from steam trains.
Having ridden a steam train exactly once, I can definitely see how that would happen. Coal smoke is nasty stuff.
Im missing this series, glad to hear Tom mention it’s somewhere on the distant horizon again
They're most likely just gonna continue with their latest series "Two of These People are Lying", but still. Anything TechDif is an automatic keeper in my book.
Where did you hear that?
Hey Tom, no one won the biscuits! I thought you'd retroaward them to Matt for his "bollocks" gag!
Problem with the badger of the month club, is you have to wait years for the whole sett
If any part of a cellist's body would be injured due to how the cello is supported as it's being played, it would be the chest, and even that's pushing it.
Looks like the guys from QI watched this video... I'd say congrats!
(QI Series N Ep 1)
This is essentially QI in podcast form
I thoroughly enjoy these, thank you!
Hahahaha that was hilarious. Well apart from the tragic events part. Great episode as usual, I guess if it were me I would have the bassist's bowels?
I used to get guitar nipple, from the guitar strap chaffing.
+DrRawley Why would you have a strap over your nipple?
+thethreeheadedmonkey sometimes it just ends up slipping over it when you're in the moment of a show
+DrRawley There's no way you end up with guitar nipple without being so full of cocaine that a mosquito would OD from drinking your blood...
thethreeheadedmonkey
the 80s was quite the decade.
DrRawley I'm afraid of getting guitar player's scrotum from having the strap far too low
Thanks for the subtitles!
I was under the impression Radium jaw was from painting glow in the dark hands on watches.
Similar thing to Phossy Jaw, really. Different industry and substance, but similar general symptoms and route of entry to the body.
Mostly, yes, but someone managed to get it from an energy drink too.
0:56 has anyone GIFfed that "No." yet? 😂
Great show, guys. Hilarious as always, especially Gary!
Man i'm so excited to see citation needed now that it's subtitled. I couldn't understand anything before :(
Would homeopathic black hole of Calcutta work for claustrophobia?
No.
Ooft, that's dark
The finger to the forhead is warmer than the ambient air.
God I love Brannan's rants!!! (And his impersonations)
That tingling on the bridge of the nose is the action of Nordenham's ampules, a set of electrical-impulse-sensing structures, similar to what sharks have, but vestigial. Only one in 3 men, and one in 7 women, have them in sufficient numbers to register the sensation. As an aside, people with active Nordenham's ampules tend to sneeze rather intensely when looking up at the sun.
[citation needed]
My god. This is either the MOST confident false explanation to a random observation that I have heard, OR the explanation has been entirely eradicated from Google search results for reasons unknown. If this was a hypothesis that was proved false, Google search would have shown at least one link (article/website/blog) that disputes the hypothesis. I couldn't even find that.
Probably more. Love these videos.
thanks for the content! keep up the awesome!
According to my doctor, it's not called housemaids knee any more, it's plumbers knee, due to the lack of housemaids ;)
10:58 - 11:03 requesting "Just eat some concrete" separate video :D
6:40.
I think its because of our sense of proprioception (the ability to sense where ones body parts are relative to eachother)
The body knows that the finger is near the nose and creates a sensation accordingly.
This is just my own speculation - I'm not in any way qualified to talk about this.
i wish they would do more of these
The finger nose bridge thing. I can feel it too.
6:11 I've been wondering about that odd effect since at least 2nd grade. Still baffles me.
According to the Grants, there's an ailment among malt men known as "monkey shoulder"...
.
Also, there's 'Pluto Water' mentioned in an off-colour 78rpm song...
Thank you.
8:45 I have actually read this somewhere before... I think it was in a book about weird paths medicine and scienece in general have taken in the past
I recently had a pilonidal cyst removed. Tom, would you like me to email you a photo ;)
this is so awesome... I will like it before seeing it!!
Nice title, Mr Scott.
Actually, guitar nipple is fake, but ukulele nipple can be a real condition. it's just like golfers nipple, but caused by the hard Wood (giggity) of the back of a soprano ukulele and the branding on a shirt, rubbing on the right nipple (left for left handed ukuleles) while you strum with that hand.
On the list of why I would never play ukulele:
@@meetaverma8372 I've played ukulele for almost 6 years now and am 100% kidding. Ukulele nipple isn't real.
@@erilassila409 oh you, now I'll have to play a ukulele 😶😐😐
I got that feeling that Gary talked about, but it's quite strong for me, and I feel it in other parts of my forehead to... Sometimes it's quite annoying because I were glasses and I feel them, but only in some occasions.
Anyone see what Tom said during the long beep? I spent ages trying to lip read but I couldn't work it out. I'm genuinely curious.
At best guess "oh, for f***'s sake..." (or maybe just "oh, f***ing hell") or something along those lines. Nothing broadcastable, or that would transmit any useful information if unbleeped.
I mean, go GIS "pilonidal cyst" and record your own reflex reaction to what comes up, it'll probably be something similar.
Loved the Chris gunshow at the start
This is amazing.
a golfer's elbow is like a tennis elbow, but in tennis it's from the repetetive backhand plays, you don't play backhand in golf (as far as I know) so it's affecting the other (inner) side of your elbow
I can feel the tingling thing too, I do it on purpose quite often.