I BURNED OUT - SAYING GOOD BYE FOR A WHILE
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- Опубликовано: 10 окт 2019
- It's official - I'm burned out and my body is rebelling against me. Memory loss, dizziness, headaches, inability to focus - a total train wreck, that's my current status. So, I need a pause. From everything. But I'll be back! Trust me.
The other live streams: • The Friday Fear Live S...
Love those tree's you have there, the colours of the park are quite magical. We don't have those trees here except a couple in a botanical park. But hey,..mate, I'm here for ya if ya need a chat. take care.
It's why I choose the location. It's like an urge within right now to just go out in nature. It's like it's screaming at me to come and get my medecine! Altough I'm not enjoying the colder temperatures and darker days, the beautiful scenery nature shows of for sure compensates a lot!
Thanks for the invite, I'll reach out if I feel the calling ☺️
Safe travels my friend. Good thing to disconnect from the internet.
Hope you recovery. Hoping to see you come back in a month even stronger.
Thank You Armando,
I will recover, it's just a question of how long time I'll need. In the meantime, make me and yourself proud by facing those fears. :)
TO @monster life and @Brennon Meadows that commented during the stream - Sorry for know replying! I couldn't see any comments on the phone while streaming. Thanks for your support Monster Life, and Brennon - I don't know, need to google that as soon as I publish this comment!!
Hey man, take some time to chill out and relax. you've been doing great
Thanks man, that's my plan. Although I know it's going to be an effort, my subconscious drive to always be productive and do something is strong within! I need to find some epic series to fall in love with :)
Recover well. You pushing yourself a lot. Take it easy man. I know you want a relationship like me too...have you tried meetup.com? Group activities a lot easier to meet people. Something to think about (not for now though). Ramadan Mubarak
Thanks for your concern! I want a bit too much and can't help myself when I push on. I'm still suffering from a lot of symptoms, but I'm learning and adjusting and getting better at it! The thing is that I feel so alive and have so much fun when I do, so I'm really working on mindfulness to slow myself down. Even though it's been hard, I've stayed optimistic throughout this. It's school of life. And when it comes to girls, sure I'd like to meet one! But I don't stand and fall with it. I can - and am - happy and enjoying life without it too. And I actually started to get back into dating through tinder just before Corona happened... And then I stopped :D.
What's your experience of meetup.com? Don't think it's too common in Sweden. Where are you living?
Talk a bit more about how I'm doing in a video I released last week; ruclips.net/video/WkHENc7r6gs/видео.html
Tack care!
@@alexanderSnilsson cool. I had a nervous breakdown a severe one although maybe different to what your experiencing, I had it about 3 years ago. It was very dark time and I thought I wouldnt get out of it. I had to stop working out! I basically was pushing myself too hard, not sleeping enough, not eating enough, running too much, stressing too much, not feeling good enough about myself, and my body went into a state of panic...I also was spending too much time alone, social isolation is terrible. I found that trying to reconnect with family and friends helped. I had to stop pushing myself, as I mentioned I literally stopped going to the gym. Everytime I went I was exhausted and would get mood swings. I found talking to a counselor helped immensely, eating every few hours healthy food, drinking a lot of water, journaling in my notebook when I was feeling terrible was major and many times got me out of depressed states...I stopped cooking too! I was just too exhausted. I only started cooking again recently. I noticed I was having unhealthy relationships with women as well - basically just feeling very desperate/frustrated, really wanting to be with someone. I finally started playing guitar again and started singing, which was new, and I found that therapeutic. Also, i got 2 cats, and I really believe this helped me so much. Honestly it's an amazing feeling to have a connection with a cat, they are very loving and fascinating to watch. I'm in Canada btw - was going to do meetup before covid happened. I've done it before - social isolation is rated as a top problem in canada, UK as well. Meetup helps with that in one way. Theres tons of groups for many different interests. I would like to get back into it cuz it's a great way to meet people. It's a bit nervewracking, and some groups you wont like, but theres some good ones too. In terms of dating I still struggle, but I know the best girls I ever met in my 20s was when I volunteered or was in school - frankly, I blew all my chances back then because I was stuck on 1 girl. Also, I gave up on cold approaches, I think it can work in certain situations where a person is receptive, but socially speaking I believe women are tribal that way, and more often than not, date men in their social circle. Unless a woman is very open, its just a lot of risk and imo not worth it. too many flake numbers etc. A more healthy way would be common interests groups. This is of course my personal opinion, and I know you like the challenges of taking to strangers it's a great skill to have, but I know in my case I exercise it sparingly. I think in Toronto it's a cold city, a few women I've approached courteously before, blew me off very rudely, a few gave me their number and it went nowhere. As I've gotten older, you know I realized its wonderful being single. Relationships can be so toxic if you are not in a healthy state. I rather be single and not have the headache. I've gotten to the point I enjoy being single. I can work on my goals, do what I want when I want. My $ stays with me. I'm planning to see a relationship counselor because i believe this will help me avoid future toxic relationships. Also, I have a couple book suggestions. One is called waking the tiger, not sure it be helpful for you. Another one I never read but its suggested by Thomas Frank, it's called happiness equation. One I am reading is the subtle art of not giving a fu&*. Lastly, toxic parents: overcoming. Lastly, gratitude journal!!!!
@@stringsnare Thanks for sharing your story, it's so much in there I can relate to. And it really sounds like stress overload. And so much of the learnings you describe, are things I've gone through or are still observing and learning. It's truly awakening to be forced to these changes - and something that also makes the whole experience worth it. Because - at least this is true for me - I know I wouldn't have taken the time to change my life the way I need to if it wasn't as much that was at stake as it now is!
Sweden is quite well known for social isolation too, here in Stockholm I've read we have the highest number of people living alone than I any other place.
I hear what you're saying, especially regarding cold approaches. And it's not something I've done a lot since I burnt out, but are starting to get back to. And not because I believe it's the way that I will finally meet anyone, but I do think it's great practice and it has helped me a lot to be less socially insecure. It's fun and just gives me a great dopamine and adrenaline kick. I love the rush. And when it does pays of the feeling is even better. I actually think dating apps like Tinder works quite well too, at least for people that don't have those social groups so easily accessible!
One thing is for sure though, no way is easy unless you run into a bit of luck. It requires effort and determination! But you can learn how to enjoy the process. And just as you say, I'm very comfortable with being single too. That's actually what scares me the most, that I'm too comfortable and stop trying. Because in the end, I do believe there's a woman out there that would my life kick as even more if I spent it with her. BUT, I'll do just fine if I won't meet her!
I love the subtle art of not giving a ****, I've read it three times. I'll take a look at Happiness equation, I've also heard Frank speak about it! Soo many books I want to read, unfortunately, my mind is also a bit overloaded with information input. So have to limit all inputs to a healthy amount and not cram it like I used to!.
Again, thanks again for sharing, means a lot! You seem like a determined and smart fella!
Hi Alex. I don't post comments on your channel very often, but I really wanted to after seeing this video. I was originally drawn to your channel because of the 6 Pillars videos that you used to do. However, your channel content has since moved to "fear facing", almost exclusively. I know you didn't ask for my opinion, so take it for what it's worth, but I'm wondering if this isn't the source of your problem. The idea of "facing fears" kind of means that you cannot allow yourself to stop facing fears, or else technically, you have failed. And I can imagine how much stress that could cause. But, I see things a little differently. I think that if you took a more general self-esteem or self-confidence approach, that might also allow you to face your fears (but without as much stress).
Ask yourself this question: how would I feel if I stopped forcing myself to face my fears? How does that make you feel? Do you get a feeling of relief and a release of stress? Last year I followed the advice of people on my channel and I did an intermittent fasting diet for 6 months. What I didn't realize was how much stress that way of eating caused me personally. Once I allowed myself to go back to my more natural way of eating, I felt a HUGE sense of relief... and I was able to lose weight and feel great. I'm wondering you are experiencing a similar issue, and if the stress of fear facing is causing your body to shut down?
Anyway, just my thoughts. You're a good soul... and I wish you all the best! Have fun with your N64!
- Doug
Hey Doug,
First of, thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and perspectives. I'm always open to listen and change. Especially when I'm in this lessons-learned-perspective mood. Something went wrong and I need to figure out what so I don't make the same mistake again when I'm well.
You definitely have a point with your argument. I'm always pushing myself to achieve something, while also having incredibly high expectations and demands on my self. Even if I don't admit it out loud. However, the "pressure" doesn't often come from the actual fear facing. I'm really okay with having super tiny actions defined as a fear facing activity. Saying high to a random person
could be enough for one day. And it always makes me feel good gives me energy. My biggest problem is not allowing me to stop working. Trying to start a company, while running a youtube channel and working too much at my regular job - that's the main source of my overload.
But what you say is really what I need to hear, but with the little adjusment;
Ask yourself this question: how would I feel if I stopped forcing myself to not be productive and try to grow an every waken minute? Allowing myselft to have guiltfree lesuire time and socialze with friends. How does that make you feel? Do you get a feeling of relief and a release of stress?
I'm actually really thankful for this happening. I've know subconsciously for a while now that I was living a messed up life, but it had become an addiction I couldn't break free from. Now when my health is at stake, I have no choice but to prioritize real change. You seem to have found a nice balance, and I like your approach to life I can get from listening to some of your videos. I'll re-read the six pillars of self-esteem with a new perspective.
Thanks again Doug, means a lot to me.
And yes, I will have fun with my Nintendo:).
/Alex
@@alexanderSnilsson That is so great to hear, sounds like you are already figuring some things out. In this video you mentioned taking some photos or videos, just for the fun and creativity aspect... but not uploading them. That is such an INCREDIBLE idea! The "opinion" based part of RUclips... the "culture"... robs us of our authenticity. At least, that's how I view it. It's SO difficult to remain authentic. I like your idea so much that I may just do that myself. In fact, I might even upload what I create, but make it private. In a way, it would be me uploading for me. I like it.
Take your time... I'll be on the lookout for your return. I might just get out my Nintendo also (if I can find it)!
- Doug
@@WorkinThingsOut Haha.. But the funny thing is that this "incredible" idea is what used to be the norm before the internet era. Finding that authenticity isn't easy, but I wouldn't it's impossible. Or I guess it's a matter of how you define it too. But many of the videos I've done has left me to feel more naked and authentic than I ever been in real life. Sometimes the camera makes open up like I'm hooked up on a lie detector. Or does this makes it authentic, since it is impacting me to be in a way I'm not usually in? I'm taking a university course right now on documentary filmmaking, and it's touching a lot on this controversy of what's an authentic documentary and the level of truth it bears. Interesting stuff!
Either way, I'm excited that you got excited, and it made me even more excited to go ego-creating. It's funny, I had a similar thought pattern today. I always try to get as many people as possible to smile throughout the day, and I was about to interact with a stranger today to do so. But, I lacked the energy, and then I spontaneously thought to myself - why don't you just make yourself smile right now instead. And then I smiled and laughed at the irony and stepped on the train a happy man.
Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Made me do some very healthy reflection, and also brought a few smiles to my face:)'
Good look with your creations!!
/Alex
@@alexanderSnilsson Alex made Alex smile, I love it. I've been watching videos on Gabor Mate' lately. Not sure that I agree with everything he says, but he has some very interesting views on addiction (work being one of them). I believe he also says that the true authentic self comes from the gut, not the intellectual mind. I believe this... it's just that we have forgotten how to listen to our gut.
Thanks for the chat, it brought a few smiles to my face as well!
- Doug
@@WorkinThingsOut then we got a mutually positive experience - love it:)! I'll check him out, and I do thinkt it's a lot of truth to that.
Have a great day my friend 😊
/Alex
Btw how are you feeling now?
Hey man! I'm actually still suffering from a lot of symptoms, it's been a long and insightful journey. But I'm getting there, started to feel normal a while back. unfortunately, I fell back into old habits and crashed soon enough. You learn as you go, but in the end, all this will make me stronger & a happier human being :) . Thanks for asking!