every single one of you. every. single. one. of you. are beautiful people inside and out. beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. to me, you are all beautiful humans. we, all of us, are in this together. i think of it like this, we are given a disadvantage over most of the others in the world. yet here we are, in this together, now we know we are not alone, look how many of us share the same hell together. knowing this, that we are in this together and that so many others are out there in our shoes, at least for me, is beyond comforting. talking to so many of you and hearing your situations also, idk why, but it makes me feel better and i enjoy it. not that i am happy that others have this fu*** super shi**** condition but its nice to hear and talk to you all who can connect with me. i really thought i was talking to a wall. i will try and keep my emotions out of this and keep this short but i just want to say, you are not alone, and YOU WILL BEAT this sh** and we are going to do it together. its my mission. i also know i promised i would respond to everyone here but tbh i have actually not even looked at this just because it actually has overwhelmed me just a bit. I want to respond to everybody and it stresses me out because i know i cant respond to everyone like i said i would. so i want to say that i am sorry about this. but you can talk to me, and tbh i actually really enjoy talking to you guys because at least i am able to connect with you all on this and for some reason its been easier for me to talk and connect with people on this topic. this is in no way a plug what so ever. but there are so many comments here that i just cant make it to all of them, but you can message me on instagram. if you want to talk, have questions, would feel good for you to talk, or you just need somebody to vent to, come to me and feel free to. idk why but i am really enjoying talking to you guys and you may 100% feel free to message me on instagram. about anything. im here. just give me a bit to respond. but i will. if i dont, comment on one of my pics, or do something else so to get my attention and tell me you messaged me. talking to others about this is like a breathe of fresh air for me, i never ever expected anything like this to happen or this many people to be going through the same struggle and not have anybody to talk to about it or have jsut kept quiet. we are the only ones who know just how difficult this is and how disabling it is for us. okay enough from me. here is my instagram if you want to talk instagram.com/ben_mayz/
gosh everything you said in this video is my life. i was bullied and developed social anxiety and always feel like people dont like me as much as i liked them.that always messed with my head in adulthood. i eventually got a job working with like 100 great people and all of them liked me but i never like hung out with anyone outside of work. finding out i had adhd and getting on adderall helped me get out of head as well as my bf being "mr popular capt of football team" he is super outgoing. he forces me(more liek a nice nudge lol) to go out and it then becomes freaking out to ok this isnt so bad and it has gotten better. i hope you can find your way, its still a struggle but finding just one friend or partner who is the opposite of you can help if they understand and know when to push and not. if you lived close to here i feel like you would get along with our very small and social anxiety filled group lol if youre ever in yorktown va you have four people who would totally get you.
Yep. Know the feeling. Overthinking things really sucks but when you’re in that trance, that endless loop of being worried, it’s like an allergic reaction where you keep sneezing or scratching your skin because it itches. It’s hard sometimes to ignore the bullshit in your head, and the number of physical symptoms that go along with it. It’s also tiresome to keep explaining this people but they never truly understand wtf you’re going through. All I hear from people is that their back or leg is hurting them, you know minor shit compared to the nightmare you’re experiencing mentally the overall effect it has over your physical well being. These drugs are a joke too. I’ve never taken pills for a long period of time because I refuse to be a guinea pig for Big Pharma, I’ve only tried a few medications for a short period of time. I want some magic pill that gets rid of this shit for good but it doesn’t exist and it doesn’t come without a price, like the endless amount of side effects that go along with it. It leaves me with no choice but to live with it. Therapy is a joke too. It works for some people which is fine, I wish them the best, but during every session all I heard was the pills will make me feel better. I’ve only tried these anti anxiety anti depressants a couple of times and felt suicidal af, meanwhile it was barely a placebo, and they have to “take time” to work, meanwhile it’ll take several weeks and I’ll have to feel the negative symptoms that I felt when I first tried 25mg of sertraline for several weeks. Not worth it. I’ve heard many negative reviews about antidepressants.
Yes, for almost 30 years I had this. I somewhat can control it now by accepting that being really awkward is ok and just go with it. Almost like instead of trying to act smart (which induces anxiety), acting dumb is really easy and releaving. I think it's important to get out there and get beaten by uncomfortable situations to the point you become somewhat immune.
I’m 65 yrs old, and only about 5 years ago I finally realized why I never had friends - I’m a loner. I’ve learned to embrace my time alone (though married). And so, I’m never lonely even when alone…
As someone who just turned 23 this year and really started to notice similar things this video hits home. Maybe all of us aren't so different after all
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home! thx
Jesus Never left you or Forsaken you my Friend Better Believe that 😄He is watching and Cares for ALL of us in this Crazy life we live🙏❤Get your Focus on Christ The Saviour he really loves us:TheCROSS 🙏💟I am not healed out of nowhere from my incurrable sickness (: Better Believe that there is more to life than this Physical World💯Devil doesnt want us to wakeup...Just saying
@cucumber202 Once you accept the fact you "can't" overcome it, you'll get lazy and be content with it. Don't say "I can't" and instead say "I can overcome it, but it's not going to be easy".
I love introverts. So real and sincere. I always get a good vibe from them (us!). The extroverts may be more popular, but it's the introverts that produce for the world. Rock on, luv.
Then wouldn't it just make more sense to embrace your introversion rather than force yourself into socializing (particularly if you don't even enjoy it)?
@@devinbarnes7381 im dont force myself to socialize. i have the need to feel validating or the inherent need to be with someone.But at the same time im socially awkward and do not like people
This will probably go unread because this video was posted so long ago, but to anyone suffering from social anxiety, I really feel that the solution lies within ourselves and not necessarily within western medication. If you can take the time to meditate, to kind of separate yourself from your thoughts and your emotions, you’ll eventually be able to see that your anxieties and fears are as much a part of you as everything else that you feel. You may be broken, but that’s okay. You don’t need to “fix” yourself, you need to accept yourself, come to an understanding with yourself, and treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. The first step is taking a step back.
Absolutely. Ive noticed that a lot of people unfortunately are not educated enough on the bigger picture and just fall for what the pharma industry wants the most : getting you hooked on some sort of pills. of course there will always be complex cases where these medications can offer a certain stability , but that just really depends on the person. but theres so many people who dont really try to find answers in themselves , and they never concider taking a more spiritual or philosophical approach to all of this. too many people here in germany think you just gotta find the right antidepressant that works for you ,and then youre all set, but dont realize that they are just running in circles trying to find a perfect magic pill to fix their issues. all these pills have some sort of bad side effects. but this is why i agree with you: medicine will not fix the root issue. you have to go within. create your own world. develope independence. and then other people can be a beatiful extension of that world.
I tried to quit smoking 20 years ago and was given Wellbutrin to help. It made everything worse, I felt like a maniac coming out of my skin. I went from a half of a pack of cigarettes to over a full pack in a matter of two weeks.. I just felt overly hostile and mean, like nicotine withdrawals amplifed times ten. It's funny the commercials will say those drugs can increase mania symptoms and suicidal thoughts in some people.. but when you tell a doctor about bad side effects they'll blow you off and tell you that you need to give it time to work and get a consistent blood level of it built up in your system over several months. By then several months may be too late for some people. Doctors are or have been very negligent in that regard. They might miss out on a drug kickback or some free all expenses paid seminar/vacation somewhere to speak at an mental health event.
I am a therapist and you are exactly correct, social anxiety is in the most simplest terms a lack of self love, self knowledge and some form of self rejection. The antidote is about changing the relationship with self which changes the external experience of reality we experience.
I used to be like this, i was completely alone, no friends, i didn't talk at all, people thought i was mute, but my life took a drastic change when i started confronting everything that made me feel unconfortable and bad. I got better at my social skills recently, as a 24 years old, i'm doing better than i ever imagine i could do, because when i was at the bad times i always faced my social anxiety head on, like, if i had fear to talk to a group of persons, i would do it anyway, if i felt bad surrounded by a large concentration of people, i would stay anyway, these are little exemples to show that i would always put myself on the worse situations possible, and thats what helped the most, that and starting at the gym, today i can't even tell i once had social anxiety.
Wow I've never heard this before it's perfect. Makes complete sense to me. I developed anxiety when I was hanging around with horrible people. Thanks so much for commenting this.
@@MissTracyyy223 Not everything peaceful is good for you, you need some chaos and risks in life to create a balance and challenges to give your life a meaning.
Being alone is different from loneliness. Sure you can enjoy the bliss of being alone, but loneliness is a different thing. People think it’s great and all but trust me, it’s not. Most people don’t know what it actually feels like to be lonely so please stop.
As someone who struggled a lot with crippling social anxiety I've discovered that I'm mostly like on the Autism spectrum...I'm going to look into it further but for anyone else out there who haven't ever felt "right" or "normal" this might be something to look into :)
I have ZERO social skills. I don’t like talking much because I never have anything to say. But once someone invites me to hangout or something, I always give excuses and say I’m busy because I don’t know how to act and I’m super awkward
Same bro. I have job. Own place. Everything. But I have no friends. 25 years old. Like you said, introverted but you want to socialize. Its difficult. Feels like I have to go out somewhere with a bunch of people and force conversation for the sake of having friends. It's so difficult.
For me No extended family since 1999, they all turned on us... Not one true friend since 2007 Went 15 yrs without a kiss, and 17 without any sex... now on 2yrs without them, and all together with sex, it was the same girl! Life is just so hard
I'm 40 now, but went through the same thing when I was in my early 20's. Realize this... introverted is another way of saying that you value real relationships, while in turn you're not good with superficial conversations. You'll feel like you missed out for many years, but as people grow and mature, you (and they) realize that partying was nothing but a quick drug. There are so many more things that I look back on, and feel thankful that I went through this transition. That said, going out to a bar to have a couple of drinks by yourself is undervalued. Just sit there, people watch, and dont pressure yourself to do anything.
Realizing that I had a problem made the problem worse for me too. Now I think about my social anxiety constantly throughout the day and it makes both the anxiety and my depression worse.
I've been in this rabbit hole of 20-something year olds speaking out about loneliness and having no friends, and the only constant is that when I check their channels, their latest videos are always happy and positive. That just shows that if you speak out about it, there will always be people to support you and help you. It does get better and so will you, believe that
@@jacksondye3446 wow it's like you suddenly know me from a comment. Lol how idiotic of you to assume such ideas without knowing a single bit of information about me. I am the total opposite of negative, but was just implying a possibility that some of these videos are fake to grab clicks or trends, because the person in this particular video doesn't seem genuine to me. It is just my gut feeling. Nevertheless I still support such personal coming outs of people online. You understood nothing, smartass.
@@jacksondye3446 Can you think??? When you just go somewhere, you dress nice for others. If you want to make a video for others to see, obviously you want only the best versions of you.
Same here. Not necessarily party, but just chill and enjoy yourself but the same time you're introverted. It's a deep conflict and being in the middle zone makes you feel like time is just wasting by
I am 26 and have no friends. Ben, thanks for making this video. You are exhibiting a desire to improve your life openly and that is an admirable thing. You give me a sense to want to improve myself or atleast progress in that direction.
Dude, I was right there at that same age. The only way I was able to help myself was with the help of a really great psychologist. I’m doing much better now but still not out of the woods and I don’t think we’ll ever be. I can def function better now in social situation to the degree where it’s almost normal. But what you said was almost exactly what I went through. So glad that you shared this. You’re def not alone and I wish you all the luck in the world in getting over your SA.
Same. Sitting at home alone searching up why I have no friends at 25 years old... I know lots of people, but I'm not close with anyone. I was starting to think I'm strange. I didn't realize how many other people feel this way.
I’m 12, 13 soon Aren’t typical 8th graders meant to be hanging out with their friends? Not stay at home playing games/homework all day... My social skills are getting worse faster and faster. Never had proper friends since 2018. In 2019, a couple of girls, for 3-4 months, tried their best to get me to talk and get closer, but sadly, social anxiety said no, and I’d always run away from them, refusing hugs, conversations/etc. I never knew about social anxiety until I was diagnosed in August the same year.
Same, I’m 25 too. Plus I’m an only child, and not close to any of my cousins/family. It sucks seeing other people go places with their friends while I’m just doing the same things I do everyday. But I find comfort in knowing there are other people who are in the same situation. Thank you all for sharing.
This popped up today and it interested me because I have a son who has expressed similar feelings. This is 3 years after you originally posted this, so I hope this finds you doing well. I too had the "rush" you talked about with social anxiety. I also felt isolated. I also had OCD. I was full of fear and anxiety. I never took any medication, but I heard Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says: "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened. I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle in heart and you will find rest for your souls." THAT was what I needed...rest. I decided to follow Jesus, started by reading the book of John to learn about Jesus... and He healed and transformed me, my mind. (not like a magic button, but surely and slowly over time.) It is His love. I no longer am afraid of people, a slave to people. I am free. My social anxiety days...were many decades ago. So many doors opened when I became free. Just wanted to share that with you. Life is fun when we're not in that bondage. I used to drink to be able to connect with people. I haven't drank in forever. Well.. you seem like a really nice person. And don't let the "stigma" of no friends bring you down. I used to hang on to people because of that. I would have been better off with maybe one really good friend. Today, I'm married with three kids. Jesus is still my best friend :) Take care!
I wish it had been that like for me. I've read the entire Bible but I'm still socially anxious. Maybe it helps in an abstract, bigger picture kind of way, but not in the moment.
It's 3 years since you posted this video & somehow it showed up on my feed. I can say that I, too, have social anxiety & I am currently 55 years old. I, too, never felt like I belonged anywhere & I had always chopped it up to being adopted. Now I see there are many reasons that people have social anxiety. I grew up in a large family, I always knew I was adopted & never truly felt like I belonged in my family, let alone anybody else in the world. I saw a therapist for 14 years & thought I worked through so many challenges in my life, only to realize social anxiety was still there. I keep working on it & have learned that there is nothing wrong with anyone that has social anxiety. I believe we can overcome anything as long as we keep working on it. It may never be the way we want but improving how we feel about our self is a huge step forward into healing ourselves. I sure hope that things are better for you Ben as it took mountains of courage to post your video. That in my eyes is HUGE & you should be proud of yourself taking that step & putting everything out to the world. To anyone that has social anxiety, know you are not alone out there & there is a huge community of us to connect with, one person at at time. We can learn so much from each other. Peace & Love to all out there suffering from social anxiety. ❤
Exactly, there’s some people in the comment section saying that having no friends is the best thing to happen to them... but no, it is to an extent, but eventually solitude catches up if you spend too much time on being alone.
I'm 27 too. I have no friends, job or social life. I've never dated or kissed anyone. The fear of people is wired into my brain, making me physiologically unable to open up to them. I'm pretty sure I will live the rest of my days and die alone.
Get medicated and work on it with a therapist, and if you need to, maybe move or something. Go to large social gatherings. I feel your pain brother, please just don’t give up.
I'm pretty sure all my problems are because I'm in fact not an introvert. If I wasn't an extrovert would it even matter that i don't have friends or a social life lol
It takes a huge amount of courage to even come out and confront that very issue, so anyone here struggling, you're all wonderful, beautiful people. You are not your Social Anxiety, You're so much more. Props to this video!
Dude I struggle with social anxiety BIG TIME! Your video has been so enlightening and educating and I don't feel as alone anymore. Also 25, so maybe its an age thing. haha. I hope things for you took a turn in the right direction! Love you man!
I’m 27 with no close friends, I don’t call, message, or text anyone. I rely on anime, videogames, and music to entertain myself. Somehow I accepted that I’m happy that way.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” - Robin Williams
I remember reading this quote a few years ago, as I read about how the actor R.W. died...and I remember how I agreed with his quote. As soon as I agreed with it, a cloud of depression came over me strongly. For 2-3 days straight I had negative, lonely, selfish thoughts that I was misunderstood, etc. At one point, I got triggered by anger and left the house for a drive. When i left home in the car, all of a sudden I realized what triggered it. I had simply agreed with a brilliant, but pessimistic quote! So I snapped out of it and returned home to my husband and kids. I think many of us are lonely. Plus, there is that void that no human can fill, that loneliness that a human can't satisfy. It hurts the nost when our loved ones seem to misunderstand us. But I try to remember that those most hurting might be the ones that lash out at others. With God's help, when I get hurt now - I try to retreat for a little to calm down. Then I make a choice swallow the pain. If it's not possible to make a person understsnd and listen to me - I don't say anything to them. This person may never change - but I can! I can learn to give grace. It's not our job to change them, right? People surrounding us need us to love them and just let them be. Even "toxic" people. Punishing them just makes us toxic!
I would never have thought that my life would turn around like this... I'm 22, had a terrible childhood and have no family, but I was always very well known and popular, did a lot, was often invited, went out in groups, and had a lot of visitors and today I feel so alone after so many bad experiences and disappointments. I call people, get in touch with them and ask over and over again how they are doing and when we are meeting, nothing comes from anyone. Today my self-confidence is destroyed, I deleted social media and won't receive any messages for days or weeks..that really hurts.. the love of my life and my very best friend have betrayed me since then nothing has been the same and that is years ago now....
Your not alone Ben! Definitely a problem in modern society with social media and a growing dependence on virtual communication as a whole. Good luck on your growth mate, you can do it!
@@romas4322 being introvert is not that bad, is it?! It has its brightside as well. Most of the time, I love being an introvert, enjoy having no friends enjoy silence and looneliness😇
I get you. It sucks sometimes you see someone that seems like you could be really good friends with and then you finally get the courage to say something and they turn out to not be what you expected and it’s like damn let me go back to my lonely corner real quick
I totally get this and agree. I recently moved out of state almost 5 months and can say I have made two genuine friends and that’s all I need. I recognize that most of the ppl I come across will not *genuinely* care. But, I get along with most people at the same time. It’s weird. Moral of the story- make sure you treat the ppl in your life that actually care about you accordingly because those are the ppl that you need in your life. They are hard to come by, seriously.
@@mb-md3wj same I have three that I love dearly and trust completely. That’s hard to find , I’ve went through many bad friends to learn you need to be very selective.
The problem is that nowadays people get "associates" and "friends" mixed up a lot. You're lucky if you get one friend throughout your lifetime, and that's normal.
That's the truth, I have plenty of acquaintances, but there's one person I could call at 3 in the morning and tell him my car is broken down 50 miles from his house, he will show up with his tool box. I would do the same for him. That's a friend .
Appreciate you being brave enough to speak on your situation and sharing with us! It’s not easy at all having social anxiety but know while you are alone, you’re not alone. We are a very common people and we’re beautiful just the way we are ❤️
Seems like a lot of us feel like it’s a coincidence that this video has reached us, but the fact this video is blowing up at the moment suggests that this is quite a widespread issue...
I definitely agree with that! Especially now, a lot of people are having to get used to being alone and away from those who they are closed to. There are also those who are used to being alone and comfortable with their own space.
i think it's really important to learn that you CAN live without friends if there comes a point where someone leaves or you get dragged into a toxic friendship, but also it's important to keep a small circle of friends who make u happy. i think it's a bad idea to have a huge circle of a lot of friends because you're bound to have a lot of problems
I feel you dude! nothing wrong with you, people need to feel brave enough to talk to people that are left out, so it brave for anyone to talk to that person. I been through these experiences most of my life. Power to you mate.
It's like rehearsal every day, preparing for nothing. Which increases anxiety and you will definitely fail. Thank you for expressing your self. I go through the same, I tend to tell it to $#&* off.
I’ll never forget the fear of eating lunch alone in high school. It happened once and it was miserable. It sucks that we are hardwired to care about such trivial things like that.
same even worse, having thoughts about people making fun of you. its was hell dude. high school sucked big time. i feel like such an outsider out of the human species
Junior year in high school I moved to Florida knew no one and that first couple weeks walking into that cafeteria was so depressing lmao. Them chicken sandwiches went hard tho!!
I was bullied for 11 years. Both physically and psychologically. The kids would even come up to my bedroom window and be mean to me. The would write nasty letters and dump it in my family’s mailbox, they would hit me (in different ways, using objects or hands) and sometimes stand outside the bathroom door in school, saying mean things to me, and then pushing the door so I couldn’t get out. Even the teachers would bully me. I had no one back then, - apart from my parents. I know that I am lucky that I at least had my parents, but man, - being bullied for that long... Thankfully today I do have friends and I am very grateful for that.
Hi Ben. I really enjoy meeting and talking to people, although I’ve always struggled making friends. I’m much older than you now and have experienced this all my life starting from a very young age. This continued all through college and university and for several decades after graduation from university until the present. I’m Canadian living in the countryside of Japan for going on 13 years now and do not have a single friend. The way I look at it, we are all unique individuals and all have strengths. All too often, I think individuality is not valued enough. People often prefer to socialize with others who think and act similar to themselves. For me, I’m very open minded and not overly selective who I attempt to make friends with. One problem I see as we get older is people tend to have all of their set friends and seem to not have time for new friends.
I relate so much to so many things you said. It truly is such a battle, day in and day out. A lot of times, it’s trauma. The more you can heal the trauma, you can heal this too.
How is it supposed to be are we meant to not interact with one another or disregard certain people. Life is very unique isn’t it big changes are taking place in this 21st century.
A lot of videos like this having been blowing up lately on here and as much as it feels good knowing I’m not alone in this world with these feelings and struggle, it’s really sad and scary to see how much society is starting to fall in this day and age
Hey I just wanted to let you know that you’re video gave me the courage to make my own video journal about the specific reasons I feel I have no friends at 23. Thank you, I probably wouldn’t have done it without seeing this
felt this especially. i wanna party and hang out in big crowds and go to raves but my introverted self is too shy to let loose and fully enjoy moments like these even when i make an attempt.
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ introvert just means u get energy from being alone. eg if there is a task, introverts usually like to work out how to do it alone, while extroverts would rather work it out in a group. u can still want to be a so called extrovert or cool kid going to parties hooking up with hot chicks lol. introvert dont mean u want to be 40 year old virgin living in your mums basement playing counter strike. ive always been introvert, but played in footy team, done boxing, going out partying, have gfs. but i physically cant socialise like everyday for week, because it will be too draining, i need some alone time to charge batteries and reflect. same way an extrovert would really struggle not to socialise for everyday for a week.
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ I'm sure an introvert also likes to have some friends they socialize with once in a while. Which is what i believe he meant in that way
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ you was implying that someone who wants to rave and be in big crowds cant be an introvert and must be a shy extrovert. im just letting you know that is incorrect!!!!
Social anxiety can stem from excessive porn/masturbation useage, excessive social media usage, excessive drug usage (including marijuana), excessive unhealthy eating.
@@CruzWithMe but if someone hypothetically stops doing that altogether, then where can they go? What makes an anxious person feel good and safe? Who can distract the stress? Socially anxiuos people mostly do not have a safe at home relationships...
This is an awesome video. Thanks for doing this and for having the courage to share it. I hope you find your way over this, and do it without medication. I too was extremely socially anxious and painfully shy, blushing beet red at the drop of a hat, feeling the feelings you describe. Now later in life, my advice to you is simple. POWER through it. All people have their weaknesses and anxieties. There are some confident-types who pray in the weak and force others to hide. There are not many like this, so, in reality, you have nothing to fear! Simply counting 1-8 multiple times in my head helped me overcome the initial surge you described. Now, knowing most people are kind and few have any idea what is going on in your head, have helped me. Further, seeing that most people, rather than what I thought when I was younger, are in any way better-equipped than me not only powered me past this, but also to a place where I can help others in their lives and, in reality, I have no time for such negativity or imaginary concerns. You look like you have it all. Please don't waste your time in this negative realm. Life is short, maximize it!
I've been having lots of social anxiety and it's getting a bit worse after I graduated from high school two years ago. I can totally relate to this. It is difficult to even walk up to a person and start a conversation. It's just the voice in the back of our heads creating false scenarios or making up stuff. I also have been dealing with "Phone Anxiety" for a long time and whenever someone such as my mom, tells me to call customer service or even trying to call a stranger, my heart starts to race and my hesitance grew. To whoever is reading this that has social anxiety, we are in this together and we can break free from this! Stay strong people!💪🏻
It's bullshit. Has social anxiety but is more than happy to make a video to put on a social media platform that millions will potentially watch meaning he'll most likely be recognised by people that know him or know of him. A core part of the condition is fear of being judged and being overly concerned with how others perceive you, the last thing you'd want to do is draw attention to yourself. The real kicker is that he leaves his instagram page at the bottom and you need only take one look at that and his cover is blown.
All the girls at work are going out for a girls trip and no one invited me. I overheard 3 of the girls talking and one asked if I was invited. The room was silent and then they just burst out laughing. I talk and laugh with these ppl everyday and this is how they truly feel about me.
Kinda feel the same way, like, were on the same team, same table, i was right in front of them, one person invited everyone except me. I just learn not to care anymore
I truly feel for you bro because I go through the same thing. I would consider you a friend and a brother. One thing that always held me back socially, and it is a symptom of ADHD, Asperger's and mild autism, is not picking up on social cues as well as the emotional temperature of a room or situation. Without realizing it on a very conscious level, I would isolate myself from people because they were acting cagey and distancing themselves from me. The pain from being estranged has lasting psychological effects. And this in turn can cause us to be more self-conscious and paranoid.
Honestly that's something I realized as I've gotten older. More people are awkward and have social anxiety than you think. When you stop trying to make yourself perfect and stop overthinking the better off you'll be. It's just putting yourself out there more. Sure it'll be hard at first, but it gets better and it's nice when you're comfortable enough to be with people who actually care about you.
Hi! If you'd like to, I'll put together a discord server as a way to talk to people without judgement, to find friends and try to expose yourself to new people gradually. You can choose to have camera or not, your real name or not, just listen to other people talking and chime in when comfortable or just stick to the chat. I will create the server out of you guys's wishes and needs. DM me on discord if you'd like to join the server at eviii$4731 ❤
No, you wouldn't have. Same goes for the hundreds who liked your comment. Why? Because there's plenty of people like him and they go unspoken to and without friends. You guys like to act optimistic and kind but the truth is you don't care about other people. Same goes for me, and the friendless people out there. We don't care about eachother.
You don't need to fit in. The beautiful thing is you are self aware, maybe a little too much so. Many people aren't willing to lok inward. Everything you need is within yourself. I'm only a year older than you but you're a good soul. Makes me take a step back and look at myself from a more based standpoint. Good on you
I just watched your video in its entirety and could identify with some of your issues from my younger years. I feel that sometimes we give people, strangers, whoever, too much power over how we feel. Dont! Put yourself out there and try and even if you blunder, dont be so hard on yourself. Often we dont realize that we all in general have some struggle whether we show it or not. You would be surprised, I know. You are a handsome man, articulate and seem to have a thoughtful sensitivity that some people would greatly appreciate. I would enjoy talking with you. Dont sell yourself short and carefully research all those meds you mentioned. Maybe by now you are dealing better with your anxiety and I hope that you are doing better and feel happier. I wish you the best!
That's me. We had two groups in class. But coming from a school where there was no groupism at all, I could not adjust to it. I was in good company with both the groups, and tried to be the friendly guy. But in the end, the groups never united and I was alone. And the fact that I wasn't 100 percent into any of these groups also meant that none of them have contact with me now, because they didn't count me as a friend at all. Ahh...big mistake.
Same I know so many people and are cool with both groups but I never really fit in for some reason. And it’s crazy how many people know me and only like one or two have texted me to check up on me during quarantine lol. But it’s whatever.
Thanks for sharing from a mother who has been dealing with this with my son since he was 17 and is now almost 21. The way you explained this really helped me to understand him better and how he is feeling as he dosent say much to me. He has started slowly getting out, exercising which I can see is making a differnce. Wishing you good luck in your endeavour to overcome this and I truly believe you will, XX
Hi Ben, I love your positif attitude, and I am sure you'll work your way around it. Wishing you all the best, don't give up, you seem such a good and authentic person.
you are not alone. i am here with you. thank you. i am glad that we are rocking in the same boat my friend. it is nice and feels almost refreshing to hear someone else talk about this issue and feel the exact same way and know that you yourself are going through the same thing. for me its almost refreshing, and helps me feel normal as not many people like to talk about it. thank you for comment. stay strong minded, we will beat this shit. stay in touch. cheers mate
May God bless you and be with you. I share this. John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me. John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true. 25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written. John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Where can one start reading The Bible? In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts. about existence of God: ruclips.net/video/BljrAME1LLw/видео.html ruclips.net/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/видео.html about Scriptures, videos are in English: jezus.simplesite.com/435491565 Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I feel ya , I'm now 35, I have my wife and a few people I talk to only at work. Besides that, I hang out with no one and haven't really since around 23 ish also.
REPENT and be BORN AGAIN believing on Messiah Lord Jesus, nothing more important, today is the day of salvation and Jesus can show you the truth, its not blind faith you can see it for yourself if you truly seek like promised. John 3:3 unless a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God / Luke 13:3 unless you repent, you will all likewise perish ⚠️❤️⚠️❤️
This truly just blew my mind. Every single word describes my life, past & present. High school I was always well known and got along with everyone, but was never truly close with anyone. Went to college, pledged fraternity as well, was cool with everyone but didn’t really ‘click’ with any of them enough to form any long lasting bonds…so now I’m in my 30s and going through social anxiety as well and the feeling you described of the other person noticing was SPOT ON. Omg…that feeling fuels my social anxiety because once you realize that the other person sees the discomfort it immediately becomes awkward…then you get the “I failed…” feeling that comes after. Ugh… So yeah. If anything, just know you’re not alone man…because I’ve truly never heard a more exact description of what I’m going through. Thank you for telling y(our) story lol 🙏🏽🙏🏽
May God bless you and be with you. I share this. John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me. John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true. 25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written. John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Where can one start reading The Bible? In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts. about existence of God: ruclips.net/video/BljrAME1LLw/видео.html ruclips.net/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/видео.html about Scriptures, videos are in English: jezus.simplesite.com/435491565 Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Truer words were never spoken. I used to have a "buddy" that I'd hang out with but he used me as a stepping stone every chance he got to make me look bad and lift himself. Sadly it works too. It's not like tv where some woman comes in to help, oh no everyone piles on until you feel like you're nothing. Needless to say I stopped hanging out with him but I don't have anyone else to hangout with now
J E S U S John 7: 7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it, that its deeds are evil. John 7: 15 The Jews then were astonished, saying, “How has this man become learned, having never been educated?” 16 So Jesus answered them and said, “My teaching is not Mine, but His who sent Me. 17 If anyone is willing to do His will, he will know of the teaching, whether it is of God or whether I speak from Myself. 18 He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him. 19 “Did not Moses give you the Law, and yet none of you carries out the Law? Why do you seek to kill Me?” 20 The crowd answered, “You have a demon! Who seeks to kill You?”
I realised that people that have social anxiety or introverts are the most genuine people ever & are good friends & conversationalists. I could be wrong but people with social anxiety & introverts dislike small talk but if you talk about life or any deep convos, we come to life & break out of the social anxiety armour.
sadly too many people dont wanna talk about stuff like that, they rather converse about superficial stuff, makes me sleepy...not many people around that like to talk about history, philosophy, politics, many even get angry or upset if you try to talk about stuff like that...and at some point, you stop trying.
Thanks Ben. Videos like yours and the one from Never Give Up are always great when people allow themselves to be vulnerable to connect to others going through the same thing. I hope it got better for you
There is many of us, one video popped up the other day and now I’m finding many different RUclips creators speak on having the same thing. Made me feel a little better ❤
You're clearly lacking love if that's the perspective u hold on life, free yourself change you're life style, u are just probably attracting people like yourself.... Soo u must not truly love youreself if u can't love others unconditionaly
Or stay down buddy choice is youres but no one really wants to see negative comments like this, the only negativity you're seeing in life is probably all within you're self, so either stay down and shut up, or change you're life style and see life for it's true beauty
@@pattyverward1201 It absolutely does, narcissists tend to view society in a very judgemental way. Sure, that behavior is not solely related to narcissism but to say it has nothing to do with? You're beyond wrong.
The crazy thing about having social anxiety, being quiet and introverted is that you'll never be able to be friends with someone else who is like you because you always need the other person to engage you first and these type of people are extroverted and confident.
Yes! I almost depend on the other person’s energy to get me going, and then I can be fine.. but if I’m with another quiet person, we can be quiet together for days 😂😂
weird bc this happens to me too but im extroverted! when im with other extroverted and outgoing people i get really uncomfortable but i feel very comfortable with talking to introverted people, and most of my friends are introverts lol
introvert and extrovert terms are not as simple. There are many kinds. There are passive extroverts and social introverts. I am an introvert and can socialize but I need to recharge for days after. I can totally be quiet with someone for days though. There are extroverts who would seem quiet and chill but can switch on full mode at any moment no need to recharge.
Ben, your videos present an authentic & genuine person. Our culture and the world is rapidly changing causing tremendous anxiety, loneliness, and disconnection. Sometimes we need to take a step back and realize the reality of the current environment. I believe from my limited knowledge of your video, this may be a case of "I am not the problem, but the solution" - mentally re-framing your emotional constructs and expectations. Trying too hard to adapt or fit-in can alienate one from your purpose and passion in life and creates tremendous of stress. Medications may or may not be the answer. I feel your pain and can only suggest self-discovery through connecting with the natural world - hiking, water sports, etc. Nature is the greatest healer. Get to "know thyself well", through personal journal - everyday and let your emotions and thoughts have safe place to vent. Meditation works as well. Volunteering in your community is a great place to connect with people that may have the same values as you establish lasting relationships. As a career choice (helping people) - your would make a great social worker. Best wishes and remember "you are not alone."
I am 60 years old and i have no friends. Its been a good 10 years with social anxiety now. My fear is everytime you make a friend, there is no two way street. Its all about them. Then they just want something constantly from you. Then they nag you to do things you are not comfortable doing. But on my side i trust no one. I am done. I now enjoy being alone. It gives me time to smell the roses and be with my dog. But you are young and i hope you find peace in any situation you feel comfortable.
I honestly disagree . Social need is so important to human beings. I would say it comes directly after food, shelter and water. People take social lives for granted and I see a lot of people in their early 20s ending best friendships and friendships over small slights/arguments/misunderstandings and falling outs and just not realizing how vital those relationships are and that they arent going to be able to pick up new friends from the supermarket. Once you finish college and hit mid-late twenties it becomes incredibly difficult to find and make new friends. I lost my best friend at 23 and I literally never found another one. I never ever thought that would happen.
@@beepbeep9043 Very insightful. I've personally ended ties with most my friends over the last two years. I am 24yrs old I am definitely not seeing any new friends as of yet at least. I know what you mean, one does not simply pick up a new friend out of no where but I feel it was neccessary for me. People I've ended ties with have been one sided friendship. Ive witness envy against personal growth which hurts alot. A Social life is important but with the wrong type of people it's more draining rather than a feeling of fufillment.
@@guillotine_cut yeah absolutely I would rather have no friends than a bunch of fake friends I completely agree. Feeling grateful that you can finally breathe and not have to be a mule for everybody is the greatest feeling one can find besides love. But chasing love can lead to quicksand, so self-love is a great tied for first :)
Dude I don't even care anymore. Seriously, I've tried therapy, medication, even yoga but I'm just gonna have to accept the fact that I'm a socially awkward emotionless robot who's gonna die alone. I'm 25 as well and it just hits hard that no one wants to understand how I feel. Everyone, even my own family tells me I have to open up more. Well what do you want me to do, talk to every random person on the street just to get a cold shoulder? It's hard man. Especially during this pandemic. Like, I see more people in relationships now than ever before. It just makes me feel even worse about myself. But it's cool. I've been here this long so I may as well keep grinding through life. Sorry if I wrote too much lol. I just needed to vent.
Thanks fam. I did manage to get a job at a restaurant so I'm just gonna try to take it one step at a time from greeting other people to very general small talk to hopefully getting to the point where my coworkers are comfortable with me and I'm comfortable with them. It's sad for me to say but I actually have a handbook where I've jotted down conversation starters. I know, it's that bad lol
@@yung_Latios let everything come naturally, some of my closest friends are those who chose to stick around and put up with me despite my flaws , no one is perfect 😉
Thanks so much I'll do my best. What I'm hoping that won't happen is if everyone there will start gossiping about me being that quiet guy and treating me differently. That's the main problem I've had all my life. I just can't be someone I'm not and my personality is generally quiet and laid back. I can start a conversation but I can't really keep it going unless it's based around my interests.
I’m glad that somebody finally speaks about something I have been through. My suggestion is to find something you really enjoy to do and you’ll be able to have conversations genuinely with your peers. If you need some help I’m glad to talk and be your friend.
That rush feeling that you describe I get it a lot especially when someone approaches me to wanna have a conversation. It’s like a feeling of urgency to try and say something , anything regardless if it makes sense .
You'll probably never read this comment, but let me tell you something. The older you get, you'll realize that if you have even one true friend, you are very lucky. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. Focus on building your life and career. The rest will fall into place.
Was going to say something similar, im 40 and last time i had 'friends' was 20 years ago and was gonna say people just become acquaintances or collegues.
I am 29 turning 30 this year. I didnt understand why some of my close friends that I have had for years started to become distant. For a while I was sad but I quickly realized that people change and life changes and along with it people will drift away. I cherish the close friends I have in this stage of my life because they have been at my side at my worst and at my best.
I want to interject here. “Things” fall into place but relationships don’t just “fall into place”-intentionality does matter. Forcing something is different but, definitely intentionality is key in BUILDING anything. Be you! Be true! But be brave and intentional
I have social anxiety and things I have found that make it worse are negative self talk and comparing yourself to others. Things that have helped are finding hobbies I enjoy and joining small groups. I'm also going to try microdosing with psilocybin.
I always try to be good but people always want to use me as if I was dumb, and whenever I fight back they get mad and outcast me, they always expect you to be nice.
I feel your pain! People suck! Whenever someone wants to be my friend its more about what they can take and not about being an actual friend. Dont think I have any answers for you, but when I see you as a person, I'm a little surprised you are having this problem.
I used to feel like this. Mine started much earlier, but when I was in my mid to late teens, I started actively trying to work out what it was that made me have issues dealing with other people. Once I worked out what those were, I started working on fixing those piece by piece. Fast forward to my early 40s, and I guess some people thought of me as a bit of an odd-ball, but I had zero issues making friends now. Just keep chugging on work on creating a better you, and all the pieces will fall into place. Sometimes it just takes time. Around the age of 40, depression started kicking in though. After a few year years of pain, I did psychotherapy for a couple of years which helped and then I did magic mushrooms and immediately figured out where all my life issues came from; not just the social anxiety from earlier years, but also the depression later in life. Drugs were not the answer for me. I needed to work out where my problems came from. It turned out my issues were all rooted deep in my childhood; traumas I didn't think were significant were significant and were controlling my life. Hopefully you and others here in the comments can find their path to happiness :)
Hi! If you'd like to, I'll put together a discord server as a way to talk to people without judgement, to find friends and try to expose yourself to new people gradually. You can choose to have camera or not, your real name or not, just listen to other people talking and chime in when comfortable or just stick to the chat. I will create the server out of you guys's wishes and needs. DM me on discord if you'd like to join the server at eviii$4731 ❤
I'm socially awkward, i spent so much time on my own that i forgot how to converse with people. I make inappropriate jokes and say edgy stuff thinking others will laugh but now i just keep quiet and use small answers.
No dont do that just beacuse you feel akward just be you. You will find someone that will laugh att your innapropriate edgy jokes. I have one friend like this and i just love her and i just take others for what they are..and i laugh to bad jokes or at jokes that People dont. 🤣 love it so dont stop find your People.
Yep. The *worst* thing to DO is to 'Try to be funny' . 'Trying' just makes 'Bad' jokes, people get 'annoyed' , 'Bored', 'Sick of his wise ass bull, Maybe he's 'Targeting ME'...Bam, Boing, Bam. I 'Still' do that, most is just *Not fen Funny* so, therefore, IT is 'Annoying' even 'Maddening' to some.
I love this video! Millions of people like you have the same issue but one one else speaks out . And this issue would cause many relaxed issues .something definitely wrong to our life style.
Right there with ya bro. It does not get any better the older you get. Especialy right after college i noticed immediately how isolated i was. Everyone just left. All social just went out the window and i tried making up for it by going to bars and clubs, seeing music. But when you got noone those places suck bigtime. Im 48 now and i have quietly accepted that my social life is over. At least i have my wife and her family here. I thank god for that. My anxiety is worse now that i stopped socializing though. I do miss it. I miss making connections with people. My advice is to get involved wirh a hobby you enjoy and go to face to face events for it.
I wouldnt say it doesnt get any better. I can agree its a case by case basis. I think its been easier than ever to make friends and thats coming from an introvert. I think one of the best ways is to work for a company where the work means something to you. You will find like minded folk there.
I'm in my early 30's and don't have friends. I have no problems socializing and have been told I'm a conversationalist, but at the end of the day, there's no real connection. Now that I'm older, I'm okay with it and don't take it personally. I understand that I'm different, it's the kind of world we live in, and that I'm not the only one experiencing this phenomenon. I appreciate my energy, my space and time, and if one day I'm truly able to create authentic connections I will appreciate those moments even more.
right well as I have heard before "before you diagnose yourself as depressed/anxious etc... make sure that you are not actually in fact just surrounded by ass**les" LOL I just genuinely don't find most people interesting. I don't find them disgusting or anything bad... I just don't care to have any more intimacy than what is required. I have a handful of good friends and a couple handfuls of acquaintances and I am cool with that.
In high school you were almost forced to socialize. And now that you are on your own, you have the choice whether or not you want to. And over time, you get used to not socializing
Hey Ben! I have felt that "Rush's you are describing and I went on citaloprim and combined with busparone. Really helps me a lot with it. It didn't help that my parents didn't want to admit that there was something wrong. Hang in there bud 👍
Im in the same boat as you, 25 years old and just started college and my social anxiety is through the roof! I used to be so social years ago and now its completely different
I couldn’t even talk for 14 minutes into a camera and post it online, I have no pictures of myself on any social media and always feel like when I talk to people I come across in a way that’s wrong, I can’t even type this properly like how it is in my head
I understand, you seem to over-analyze yourself just like I do when it comes to myself. I do it when I talk, draw, sing- just about everything. And then I wondered, why do I only do this to myself and never anybody else? Not that I want to do this to anybody else. But the point is why am I critiquing myself so badly?
I know this feeling all to well I refuse to use social media tbh and I always feel like when I try to talk to someone even by just saying hello to themnthst ive somehow managed to rub them the wrong way it makes me feel like a freak
every single one of you. every. single. one. of you. are beautiful people inside and out. beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. to me, you are all beautiful humans. we, all of us, are in this together.
i think of it like this, we are given a disadvantage over most of the others in the world. yet here we are, in this together, now we know we are not alone, look how many of us share the same hell together. knowing this, that we are in this together and that so many others are out there in our shoes, at least for me, is beyond comforting.
talking to so many of you and hearing your situations also, idk why, but it makes me feel better and i enjoy it. not that i am happy that others have this fu*** super shi**** condition but its nice to hear and talk to you all who can connect with me. i really thought i was talking to a wall.
i will try and keep my emotions out of this and keep this short but i just want to say, you are not alone, and YOU WILL BEAT this sh** and we are going to do it together. its my mission.
i also know i promised i would respond to everyone here but tbh i have actually not even looked at this just because it actually has overwhelmed me just a bit. I want to respond to everybody and it stresses me out because i know i cant respond to everyone like i said i would. so i want to say that i am sorry about this. but you can talk to me, and tbh i actually really enjoy talking to you guys because at least i am able to connect with you all on this and for some reason its been easier for me to talk and connect with people on this topic.
this is in no way a plug what so ever. but there are so many comments here that i just cant make it to all of them, but you can message me on instagram. if you want to talk, have questions, would feel good for you to talk, or you just need somebody to vent to, come to me and feel free to.
idk why but i am really enjoying talking to you guys and you may 100% feel free to message me on instagram. about anything. im here. just give me a bit to respond. but i will. if i dont, comment on one of my pics, or do something else so to get my attention and tell me you messaged me. talking to others about this is like a breathe of fresh air for me, i never ever expected anything like this to happen or this many people to be going through the same struggle and not have anybody to talk to about it or have jsut kept quiet. we are the only ones who know just how difficult this is and how disabling it is for us.
okay enough from me. here is my instagram if you want to talk instagram.com/ben_mayz/
Matt Sterbater shut up Matt let the man speak
I want to be your friend! Me being introvert for my whole life hahaha
gosh everything you said in this video is my life. i was bullied and developed social anxiety and always feel like people dont like me as much as i liked them.that always messed with my head in adulthood. i eventually got a job working with like 100 great people and all of them liked me but i never like hung out with anyone outside of work. finding out i had adhd and getting on adderall helped me get out of head as well as my bf being "mr popular capt of football team" he is super outgoing. he forces me(more liek a nice nudge lol) to go out and it then becomes freaking out to ok this isnt so bad and it has gotten better. i hope you can find your way, its still a struggle but finding just one friend or partner who is the opposite of you can help if they understand and know when to push and not. if you lived close to here i feel like you would get along with our very small and social anxiety filled group lol if youre ever in yorktown va you have four people who would totally get you.
Thanks 🙏🏼 Ben!
Jesus loves you all guys
Does anyone here with social anxiety feel like they have to prepare every sentence in their head first before they say it? It's such a mental strain.
Yep. Know the feeling. Overthinking things really sucks but when you’re in that trance, that endless loop of being worried, it’s like an allergic reaction where you keep sneezing or scratching your skin because it itches. It’s hard sometimes to ignore the bullshit in your head, and the number of physical symptoms that go along with it. It’s also tiresome to keep explaining this people but they never truly understand wtf you’re going through. All I hear from people is that their back or leg is hurting them, you know minor shit compared to the nightmare you’re experiencing mentally the overall effect it has over your physical well being. These drugs are a joke too. I’ve never taken pills for a long period of time because I refuse to be a guinea pig for Big Pharma, I’ve only tried a few medications for a short period of time. I want some magic pill that gets rid of this shit for good but it doesn’t exist and it doesn’t come without a price, like the endless amount of side effects that go along with it. It leaves me with no choice but to live with it. Therapy is a joke too. It works for some people which is fine, I wish them the best, but during every session all I heard was the pills will make me feel better. I’ve only tried these anti anxiety anti depressants a couple of times and felt suicidal af, meanwhile it was barely a placebo, and they have to “take time” to work, meanwhile it’ll take several weeks and I’ll have to feel the negative symptoms that I felt when I first tried 25mg of sertraline for several weeks. Not worth it. I’ve heard many negative reviews about antidepressants.
kinda. but the worst part is that when you talk your head is already empty and you really have no words
Yesssssss
Yes, for almost 30 years I had this. I somewhat can control it now by accepting that being really awkward is ok and just go with it. Almost like instead of trying to act smart (which induces anxiety), acting dumb is really easy and releaving. I think it's important to get out there and get beaten by uncomfortable situations to the point you become somewhat immune.
Wow, that's me
“Everybody knew of me, but I never really fit in“ .. I FELT THAT deeep!!
@@stillness1296 how did the invite expire already wtf
@@user-pe5xd3qh7m Seems some mistake
Jesus loves you all guys
@@AWEFussball why do you say that?
@@stillness1296 New invite ?
I’m 65 yrs old, and only about 5 years ago I finally realized why I never had friends - I’m a loner. I’ve learned to embrace my time alone (though married). And so, I’m never lonely even when alone…
Having your husband as your friend is all you need 😊
As someone who just turned 23 this year and really started to notice similar things this video hits home. Maybe all of us aren't so different after all
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home! thx
Jesus Never left you or Forsaken you my Friend Better Believe that 😄He is watching and Cares for ALL of us in this Crazy life we live🙏❤Get your Focus on Christ The Saviour he really loves us:TheCROSS 🙏💟I am not healed out of nowhere from my incurrable sickness (: Better Believe that there is more to life than this Physical World💯Devil doesnt want us to wakeup...Just saying
@@achmed2pac You are speaking facts brother God bless you in Jesus mighty name, amen!
Does anyone fall in the category of being friendly with everyone but no one wants to “squad up” with you):
Yes, that's me.
@cucumber202 Do you have Discord? I'd like to be your friend.
I had a “squad”but high school really split us apart and now after graduation I have no friends ,I guess I was always introverted
Yes.
@cucumber202 Once you accept the fact you "can't" overcome it, you'll get lazy and be content with it. Don't say "I can't" and instead say "I can overcome it, but it's not going to be easy".
“I want to be social but I’m an introvert” - my life in a nutshell
Frrr
@Harishan Veerangan Exactly. Just means that you recover in solitude after a period of socialization!
I love introverts. So real and sincere. I always get a good vibe from them (us!). The extroverts may be more popular, but it's the introverts that produce for the world. Rock on, luv.
Then wouldn't it just make more sense to embrace your introversion rather than force yourself into socializing (particularly if you don't even enjoy it)?
@@devinbarnes7381 im dont force myself to socialize. i have the need to feel validating or the inherent need to be with someone.But at the same time im socially awkward and do not like people
This will probably go unread because this video was posted so long ago, but to anyone suffering from social anxiety, I really feel that the solution lies within ourselves and not necessarily within western medication. If you can take the time to meditate, to kind of separate yourself from your thoughts and your emotions, you’ll eventually be able to see that your anxieties and fears are as much a part of you as everything else that you feel. You may be broken, but that’s okay. You don’t need to “fix” yourself, you need to accept yourself, come to an understanding with yourself, and treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. The first step is taking a step back.
Absolutely. Ive noticed that a lot of people unfortunately are not educated enough on the bigger picture and just fall for what the pharma industry wants the most : getting you hooked on some sort of pills. of course there will always be complex cases where these medications can offer a certain stability , but that just really depends on the person. but theres so many people who dont really try to find answers in themselves , and they never concider taking a more spiritual or philosophical approach to all of this. too many people here in germany think you just gotta find the right antidepressant that works for you ,and then youre all set, but dont realize that they are just running in circles trying to find a perfect magic pill to fix their issues. all these pills have some sort of bad side effects. but this is why i agree with you: medicine will not fix the root issue. you have to go within. create your own world. develope independence. and then other people can be a beatiful extension of that world.
I tried to quit smoking 20 years ago and was given Wellbutrin to help. It made everything worse, I felt like a maniac coming out of my skin. I went from a half of a pack of cigarettes to over a full pack in a matter of two weeks.. I just felt overly hostile and mean, like nicotine withdrawals amplifed times ten.
It's funny the commercials will say those drugs can increase mania symptoms and suicidal thoughts in some people.. but when you tell a doctor about bad side effects they'll blow you off and tell you that you need to give it time to work and get a consistent blood level of it built up in your system over several months.
By then several months may be too late for some people.
Doctors are or have been very negligent in that regard. They might miss out on a drug kickback or some free all expenses paid seminar/vacation somewhere to speak at an mental health event.
22 and suffering with this darn illness
I am a therapist and you are exactly correct, social anxiety is in the most simplest terms a lack of self love, self knowledge and some form of self rejection. The antidote is about changing the relationship with self which changes the external experience of reality we experience.
@@badele80Proof that therapists are useless
I used to be like this, i was completely alone, no friends, i didn't talk at all, people thought i was mute, but my life took a drastic change when i started confronting everything that made me feel unconfortable and bad. I got better at my social skills recently, as a 24 years old, i'm doing better than i ever imagine i could do, because when i was at the bad times i always faced my social anxiety head on, like, if i had fear to talk to a group of persons, i would do it anyway, if i felt bad surrounded by a large concentration of people, i would stay anyway, these are little exemples to show that i would always put myself on the worse situations possible, and thats what helped the most, that and starting at the gym, today i can't even tell i once had social anxiety.
To me social anxiety is a natural response to repeated exposure to toxic people.
Boom
Exactly
Wow I've never heard this before it's perfect. Makes complete sense to me. I developed anxiety when I was hanging around with horrible people. Thanks so much for commenting this.
makes sense
Yep! Makes you think everyone is toxic and wont care what you say when that is not the case i struggle with social anxiety sometimes.
Being alone is dangerous and addictive, once you realise how peaceful it is you don't wanna deal with people anymore
How do i reach this level? I really hate my own company but i keep trying
@@MissTracyyy223 It's not healthy and fun like it sounds trust me
@@khalilfreeman9629 but its peaceful
@@MissTracyyy223 Not everything peaceful is good for you, you need some chaos and risks in life to create a balance and challenges to give your life a meaning.
Being alone is different from loneliness. Sure you can enjoy the bliss of being alone, but loneliness is a different thing.
People think it’s great and all but trust me, it’s not. Most people don’t know what it actually feels like to be lonely so please stop.
As someone who struggled a lot with crippling social anxiety I've discovered that I'm mostly like on the Autism spectrum...I'm going to look into it further but for anyone else out there who haven't ever felt "right" or "normal" this might be something to look into :)
I feel the same Marfmellow 29 still very lost alone no friends or good family social anxiety sucks.
Bro where are you in the spectrum?
I’m 31 years old, and seeing this video even if it’s from 3 years ago, I feel this.
I have ZERO social skills. I don’t like talking much because I never have anything to say. But once someone invites me to hangout or something, I always give excuses and say I’m busy because I don’t know how to act and I’m super awkward
This is literally my life
Damn, very timely. Currently experiencing it now.😞
Put your phone down more often and get offline .. seriously, the internet is making peoples social anxiety much much worse
At least you get invited
@@billsimms2511 how
Same bro. I have job. Own place. Everything. But I have no friends. 25 years old. Like you said, introverted but you want to socialize. Its difficult. Feels like I have to go out somewhere with a bunch of people and force conversation for the sake of having friends. It's so difficult.
Agreed
And the thing is you shouldn't have to force yourself to do that.
For me
No extended family since 1999, they all turned on us...
Not one true friend since 2007
Went 15 yrs without a kiss, and 17 without any sex... now on 2yrs without them, and all together with sex, it was the same girl! Life is just so hard
I'm 40 now, but went through the same thing when I was in my early 20's. Realize this... introverted is another way of saying that you value real relationships, while in turn you're not good with superficial conversations. You'll feel like you missed out for many years, but as people grow and mature, you (and they) realize that partying was nothing but a quick drug. There are so many more things that I look back on, and feel thankful that I went through this transition. That said, going out to a bar to have a couple of drinks by yourself is undervalued. Just sit there, people watch, and dont pressure yourself to do anything.
@@secretysecret1551 I just wish things were different, and that adds a lot of depression, missing out on love/sex/memories, ya dig? So so hard
Realizing that I had a problem made the problem worse for me too. Now I think about my social anxiety constantly throughout the day and it makes both the anxiety and my depression worse.
It's your awareness of it. Choose different thoughts even if it's not true beliefs are all we are BELIEVE something different.
I've been in this rabbit hole of 20-something year olds speaking out about loneliness and having no friends, and the only constant is that when I check their channels, their latest videos are always happy and positive. That just shows that if you speak out about it, there will always be people to support you and help you. It does get better and so will you, believe that
or just that they are straight lying for likes :)
nevertheless expressing oneself is important and helps as a coping mechanism
@@vladonutueuwhy must you be negative
@@vladonutueuone of the most important pieces of advice for improving one's life is avoiding negative people like you. Both online and in person.
@@jacksondye3446 wow it's like you suddenly know me from a comment. Lol how idiotic of you to assume such ideas without knowing a single bit of information about me. I am the total opposite of negative, but was just implying a possibility that some of these videos are fake to grab clicks or trends, because the person in this particular video doesn't seem genuine to me. It is just my gut feeling. Nevertheless I still support such personal coming outs of people online. You understood nothing, smartass.
@@jacksondye3446 Can you think??? When you just go somewhere, you dress nice for others. If you want to make a video for others to see, obviously you want only the best versions of you.
You may have “0 friends” but you’ve touched close to half a million hearts 🙏🏽
:,)
1 friend would be better than that.
JT what's up 💪 love the content
man this nigga always dropping motivational comments. cant even be mad lol
Dang hope I did too with my channel
When he said he wants to party, but is introverted and that it is hard to explain. I felt that shit so hard.
Me too bro
Same here. Not necessarily party, but just chill and enjoy yourself but the same time you're introverted. It's a deep conflict and being in the middle zone makes you feel like time is just wasting by
50 years old and been living it since late teens
honestly bro one bit of mdma (at a party) will change your life like it did mine... made more more outgoing, confident and less anxious
I don’t promote drug usage but Dan is so right. M helped me a lot
I am 26 and have no friends. Ben, thanks for making this video. You are exhibiting a desire to improve your life openly and that is an admirable thing. You give me a sense to want to improve myself or atleast progress in that direction.
Dude, I was right there at that same age. The only
way I was able to help myself was with the help of a really great psychologist. I’m doing much better now but still not out of the woods and I don’t think we’ll ever be. I can def function better now in social situation to the degree where it’s almost normal. But what you said was almost exactly what I went through. So glad that you shared this. You’re def not alone and I wish you all the luck in the world in getting over your SA.
Same. Sitting at home alone searching up why I have no friends at 25 years old... I know lots of people, but I'm not close with anyone. I was starting to think I'm strange. I didn't realize how many other people feel this way.
Girl it’s not you one ,I’m the same age feeling the same way
I’m 12, 13 soon
Aren’t typical 8th graders meant to be hanging out with their friends? Not stay at home playing games/homework all day...
My social skills are getting worse faster and faster. Never had proper friends since 2018. In 2019, a couple of girls, for 3-4 months, tried their best to get me to talk and get closer, but sadly, social anxiety said no, and I’d always run away from them, refusing hugs, conversations/etc.
I never knew about social anxiety until I was diagnosed in August the same year.
Same asf
Same, I’m 25 too. Plus I’m an only child, and not close to any of my cousins/family. It sucks seeing other people go places with their friends while I’m just doing the same things I do everyday. But I find comfort in knowing there are other people who are in the same situation. Thank you all for sharing.
@@MsGenesisValdez yesss i feel the same.. and it hurts a lot sometimes.
“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”
- Charles Bukowski
Omg...that is so true!
If you don't have friends ,it means you are actually normal, you are not a narcissist asshole!
AWESOMELY true..
@@doomslayer8032
Wow, good one. (sarc) Cheers.......I guess. (more sarc) The quote is quite applicable.
No that’s just an excuse to make yourself feel better. Doubts may be prevalent in intelligent people but being intelligent isn’t the causation.
This popped up today and it interested me because I have a son who has expressed similar feelings. This is 3 years after you originally posted this, so I hope this finds you doing well. I too had the "rush" you talked about with social anxiety. I also felt isolated. I also had OCD. I was full of fear and anxiety. I never took any medication, but I heard Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says: "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened. I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle in heart and you will find rest for your souls." THAT was what I needed...rest. I decided to follow Jesus, started by reading the book of John to learn about Jesus... and He healed and transformed me, my mind. (not like a magic button, but surely and slowly over time.) It is His love. I no longer am afraid of people, a slave to people. I am free. My social anxiety days...were many decades ago. So many doors opened when I became free. Just wanted to share that with you. Life is fun when we're not in that bondage. I used to drink to be able to connect with people. I haven't drank in forever. Well.. you seem like a really nice person. And don't let the "stigma" of no friends bring you down. I used to hang on to people because of that. I would have been better off with maybe one really good friend. Today, I'm married with three kids. Jesus is still my best friend :) Take care!
I wish it had been that like for me. I've read the entire Bible but I'm still socially anxious. Maybe it helps in an abstract, bigger picture kind of way, but not in the moment.
It's 3 years since you posted this video & somehow it showed up on my feed. I can say that I, too, have social anxiety & I am currently 55 years old. I, too, never felt like I belonged anywhere & I had always chopped it up to being adopted. Now I see there are many reasons that people have social anxiety. I grew up in a large family, I always knew I was adopted & never truly felt like I belonged in my family, let alone anybody else in the world.
I saw a therapist for 14 years & thought I worked through so many challenges in my life, only to realize social anxiety was still there. I keep working on it & have learned that there is nothing wrong with anyone that has social anxiety. I believe we can overcome anything as long as we keep working on it. It may never be the way we want but improving how we feel about our self is a huge step forward into healing ourselves.
I sure hope that things are better for you Ben as it took mountains of courage to post your video. That in my eyes is HUGE & you should be proud of yourself taking that step & putting everything out to the world.
To anyone that has social anxiety, know you are not alone out there & there is a huge community of us to connect with, one person at at time. We can learn so much from each other.
Peace & Love to all out there suffering from social anxiety. ❤
I'm 27 and I have no friends either. You get used to feeling alone, but the loneliness kills you.
Exactly, there’s some people in the comment section saying that having no friends is the best thing to happen to them... but no, it is to an extent, but eventually solitude catches up if you spend too much time on being alone.
Try playing online games or join any online group. U will find 2-3 people of same opinion
I'm 27 too. I have no friends, job or social life. I've never dated or kissed anyone. The fear of people is wired into my brain, making me physiologically unable to open up to them. I'm pretty sure I will live the rest of my days and die alone.
@@alexs6374 find a therapist. This might take time to heal tho. I’m still working on it.
Get medicated and work on it with a therapist, and if you need to, maybe move or something. Go to large social gatherings. I feel your pain brother, please just don’t give up.
Someone once told me “yes, you’re an introvert but eventually you’ll find people who you can be an extrovert with.”
So that was a fucking lie
It doesnt work when you leave school or college
I'm pretty sure all my problems are because I'm in fact not an introvert. If I wasn't an extrovert would it even matter that i don't have friends or a social life lol
Fr
@@giornogiovanna8353 I school, college, & workplace maybe, but beside that you need to push yourself
It takes a huge amount of courage to even come out and confront that very issue, so anyone here struggling, you're all wonderful, beautiful people. You are not your Social Anxiety, You're so much more. Props to this video!
Dude I struggle with social anxiety BIG TIME! Your video has been so enlightening and educating and I don't feel as alone anymore. Also 25, so maybe its an age thing. haha. I hope things for you took a turn in the right direction! Love you man!
I’m 27 with no close friends, I don’t call, message, or text anyone. I rely on anime, videogames, and music to entertain myself. Somehow I accepted that I’m happy that way.
Me too , but im 14 and im enjoying it (lol)
cheeseball! 😭😭😭😭
i Want be yOur friend! 🤗💕
Same here, and Im 40 lol
@@thevcountdown9824 stranger danger kids. 💀
@@ThePrettieminnie 😭🤣 can’t violate him like that
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” - Robin Williams
I remember reading this quote a few years ago, as I read about how the actor R.W. died...and I remember how I agreed with his quote. As soon as I agreed with it, a cloud of depression came over me strongly. For 2-3 days straight I had negative, lonely, selfish thoughts that I was misunderstood, etc. At one point, I got triggered by anger and left the house for a drive. When i left home in the car, all of a sudden I realized what triggered it. I had simply agreed with a brilliant, but pessimistic quote! So I snapped out of it and returned home to my husband and kids.
I think many of us are lonely. Plus, there is that void that no human can fill, that loneliness that a human can't satisfy. It hurts the nost when our loved ones seem to misunderstand us. But I try to remember that those most hurting might be the ones that lash out at others. With God's help, when I get hurt now - I try to retreat for a little to calm down. Then I make a choice swallow the pain. If it's not possible to make a person understsnd and listen to me - I don't say anything to them. This person may never change - but I can! I can learn to give grace. It's not our job to change them, right? People surrounding us need us to love them and just let them be. Even "toxic" people. Punishing them just makes us toxic!
WORD!
Omfg true baby 💖
Theres many celebrities who are lonely even though they are surrounded by a lot of people all the time.
AMEN!
I would never have thought that my life would turn around like this... I'm 22, had a terrible childhood and have no family, but I was always very well known and popular, did a lot, was often invited, went out in groups, and had a lot of visitors and today I feel so alone after so many bad experiences and disappointments. I call people, get in touch with them and ask over and over again how they are doing and when we are meeting, nothing comes from anyone. Today my self-confidence is destroyed, I deleted social media and won't receive any messages for days or weeks..that really hurts.. the love of my life and my very best friend have betrayed me since then nothing has been the same and that is years ago now....
i'm 37 and i can tell you that if you dont take serious action it'll just get worst with the years.
Your not alone Ben! Definitely a problem in modern society with social media and a growing dependence on virtual communication as a whole. Good luck on your growth mate, you can do it!
When the RUclips algorithm knows more about you than your own family
its scary
Eventually even wish in facebook gonna advertise us ropes and small chairs
Its fucking scary
@@romas4322 being introvert is not that bad, is it?!
It has its brightside as well.
Most of the time, I love being an introvert, enjoy having no friends enjoy silence and looneliness😇
Damn, from Germany
I always want to make friends, but once I socialize I notice how fake, rude and toxic most people are and than I just chill with myself again ._.
I get you. It sucks sometimes you see someone that seems like you could be really good friends with and then you finally get the courage to say something and they turn out to not be what you expected and it’s like damn let me go back to my lonely corner real quick
Make friends online. Some reaaaally cool people out there.
U can't read everyone's mind. Just give them a chance.
Far out that’s so true
i love you!
You're not alone. Sounds like your doing all the right things to help yourself. Anyway you have a new friend here.
Hearing other people share the same issues as you is powerful on its own, thank you for this video.
Idk if friends are as good as everybody thinks it’s really hard to find genuine people who you would want to share your life with
I agree I have two awesome friends I can trust. I have known one for 7 years and the other for 10 years. Thats all I need.
Very true
I totally get this and agree. I recently moved out of state almost 5 months and can say I have made two genuine friends and that’s all I need. I recognize that most of the ppl I come across will not *genuinely* care. But, I get along with most people at the same time. It’s weird. Moral of the story- make sure you treat the ppl in your life that actually care about you accordingly because those are the ppl that you need in your life. They are hard to come by, seriously.
@@mb-md3wj same I have three that I love dearly and trust completely. That’s hard to find , I’ve went through many bad friends to learn you need to be very selective.
💯
The problem is that nowadays people get "associates" and "friends" mixed up a lot. You're lucky if you get one friend throughout your lifetime, and that's normal.
That's the truth, I have plenty of acquaintances, but there's one person I could call at 3 in the morning and tell him my car is broken down 50 miles from his house, he will show up with his tool box. I would do the same for him. That's a friend .
43520tom you are so blessed to have this true friend.
@@43520tom cherish that friend of yours
Where are you from? That's sad bro.
Join a club or society.
@@fionnmaccumhaill1023 bro to me a friend is the same as family, can't really have people lining up to genuinely die for you
Appreciate you being brave enough to speak on your situation and sharing with us! It’s not easy at all having social anxiety but know while you are alone, you’re not alone.
We are a very common people and we’re beautiful just the way we are ❤️
Same! 25 too, life is full of surprises. Thank you for your courage in speaking out! God bless brother
Seems like a lot of us feel like it’s a coincidence that this video has reached us, but the fact this video is blowing up at the moment suggests that this is quite a widespread issue...
I might just diagnosed my self 😅
It's one those things that never gets any attention or awareness brought to it.
this the real pandemic right here, lol
Yeah I don’t have any friends now. It’s sucks
I definitely agree with that! Especially now, a lot of people are having to get used to being alone and away from those who they are closed to. There are also those who are used to being alone and comfortable with their own space.
I don’t even want friends I want to just be comfortable with myself.
Same dude
Saaaaaaameeee 😩
I doubt that. No one can be happy alone all the time. It’s natural for humans to share memories with friends or family or whoever it maybe.
its hard... sometimes friends can make it easier.... as well as exercise. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck :)
i think it's really important to learn that you CAN live without friends if there comes a point where someone leaves or you get dragged into a toxic friendship, but also it's important to keep a small circle of friends who make u happy. i think it's a bad idea to have a huge circle of a lot of friends because you're bound to have a lot of problems
I feel you dude! nothing wrong with you, people need to feel brave enough to talk to people that are left out, so it brave for anyone to talk to that person. I been through these experiences most of my life. Power to you mate.
It's like rehearsal every day, preparing for nothing. Which increases anxiety and you will definitely fail. Thank you for expressing your self. I go through the same, I tend to tell it to $#&* off.
I’ll never forget the fear of eating lunch alone in high school. It happened once and it was miserable. It sucks that we are hardwired to care about such trivial things like that.
same even worse, having thoughts about people making fun of you. its was hell dude. high school sucked big time. i feel like such an outsider out of the human species
I have that at work lunch and breaks
Junior year in high school I moved to Florida knew no one and that first couple weeks walking into that cafeteria was so depressing lmao. Them chicken sandwiches went hard tho!!
I was bullied for 11 years. Both physically and psychologically. The kids would even come up to my bedroom window and be mean to me. The would write nasty letters and dump it in my family’s mailbox, they would hit me (in different ways, using objects or hands) and sometimes stand outside the bathroom door in school, saying mean things to me, and then pushing the door so I couldn’t get out. Even the teachers would bully me. I had no one back then, - apart from my parents. I know that I am lucky that I at least had my parents, but man, - being bullied for that long... Thankfully today I do have friends and I am very grateful for that.
I always skip lunch and stay in the restroom watching Netflix the whole period lunch
the way I'm 25 with no friends and have social anxiety.... this algorithm is top notch
There seriously needs be an app to make friends with those who has or had social anxiety and/or depression.
@@zalphero618 On it!
It's hightech technology. they know more than you know about yourself. social media is a platform to collect data from humans
don’t feel bad im 19 and im in the same boat 😜
22 here
Hi Ben. I really enjoy meeting and talking to people, although I’ve always struggled making friends. I’m much older than you now and have experienced this all my life starting from a very young age. This continued all through college and university and for several decades after graduation from university until the present. I’m Canadian living in the countryside of Japan for going on 13 years now and do not have a single friend. The way I look at it, we are all unique individuals and all have strengths. All too often, I think individuality is not valued enough. People often prefer to socialize with others who think and act similar to themselves. For me, I’m very open minded and not overly selective who I attempt to make friends with. One problem I see as we get older is people tend to have all of their set friends and seem to not have time for new friends.
I relate so much to so many things you said. It truly is such a battle, day in and day out. A lot of times, it’s trauma. The more you can heal the trauma, you can heal this too.
Let’s build a community of socially anxious people. That would be such a life changer for me.
Too anxious to join that kind of thing
I’m down.
I'm down
Shit I’m down too😂
I'm down too😂
_the older you become the more you realise how faked and distant people really are.._
How is it supposed to be are we meant to not interact with one another or disregard certain people. Life is very unique isn’t it big changes are taking place in this 21st century.
You know I think about that .. but at the same time doesn't that make us the same as them?
@@stevenwitte769 In some ways yes... we are doing the same most likely in their head too
@@JuJu-he8ck i've just accepted it as "People grow up... move on"
True from someone who´s 20 glad I already realise at this age
A lot of videos like this having been blowing up lately on here and as much as it feels good knowing I’m not alone in this world with these feelings and struggle, it’s really sad and scary to see how much society is starting to fall in this day and age
Hey I just wanted to let you know that you’re video gave me the courage to make my own video journal about the specific reasons I feel I have no friends at 23. Thank you, I probably wouldn’t have done it without seeing this
“I want to be social but I’m an introvert” I can’t agree with you more on that
Not only do I feel this but as I read the quote, he spoke it. So I felt this a lot
felt this especially. i wanna party and hang out in big crowds and go to raves but my introverted self is too shy to let loose and fully enjoy moments like these even when i make an attempt.
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ introvert just means u get energy from being alone. eg if there is a task, introverts usually like to work out how to do it alone, while extroverts would rather work it out in a group. u can still want to be a so called extrovert or cool kid going to parties hooking up with hot chicks lol. introvert dont mean u want to be 40 year old virgin living in your mums basement playing counter strike. ive always been introvert, but played in footy team, done boxing, going out partying, have gfs. but i physically cant socialise like everyday for week, because it will be too draining, i need some alone time to charge batteries and reflect. same way an extrovert would really struggle not to socialise for everyday for a week.
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ I'm sure an introvert also likes to have some friends they socialize with once in a while. Which is what i believe he meant in that way
@Κωνσταντίνος ΉπΜκ you was implying that someone who wants to rave and be in big crowds cant be an introvert and must be a shy extrovert. im just letting you know that is incorrect!!!!
I'm not even tryna exaggerate but I feel like 80% of the stress in my life comes due to my social anxiety :")
Social anxiety can stem from excessive porn/masturbation useage, excessive social media usage, excessive drug usage (including marijuana), excessive unhealthy eating.
SAME!!! It holds me back so much. I feel like I’m behind everyone all of the time
@@CruzWithMe but if someone hypothetically stops doing that altogether, then where can they go? What makes an anxious person feel good and safe? Who can distract the stress? Socially anxiuos people mostly do not have a safe at home relationships...
@@CruzWithMe source ?
@@arturas7240 you start small and do the things you dream about doing.
This is an awesome video. Thanks for doing this and for having the courage to share it. I hope you find your way over this, and do it without medication. I too was extremely socially anxious and painfully shy, blushing beet red at the drop of a hat, feeling the feelings you describe. Now later in life, my advice to you is simple. POWER through it. All people have their weaknesses and anxieties. There are some confident-types who pray in the weak and force others to hide. There are not many like this, so, in reality, you have nothing to fear! Simply counting 1-8 multiple times in my head helped me overcome the initial surge you described. Now, knowing most people are kind and few have any idea what is going on in your head, have helped me. Further, seeing that most people, rather than what I thought when I was younger, are in any way better-equipped than me not only powered me past this, but also to a place where I can help others in their lives and, in reality, I have no time for such negativity or imaginary concerns. You look like you have it all. Please don't waste your time in this negative realm. Life is short, maximize it!
I've been having lots of social anxiety and it's getting a bit worse after I graduated from high school two years ago. I can totally relate to this. It is difficult to even walk up to a person and start a conversation. It's just the voice in the back of our heads creating false scenarios or making up stuff. I also have been dealing with "Phone Anxiety" for a long time and whenever someone such as my mom, tells me to call customer service or even trying to call a stranger, my heart starts to race and my hesitance grew. To whoever is reading this that has social anxiety, we are in this together and we can break free from this! Stay strong people!💪🏻
I have huge respect for the fact that he created a RUclips video about this while having social anxiety.
That’s strength
And he didn't take it down
Right! I couldn’t
The fact he made a video shows that his anxiety is at least manageable imo....even though he describes a severe case.
It's bullshit.
Has social anxiety but is more than happy to make a video to put on a social media platform that millions will potentially watch meaning he'll most likely be recognised by people that know him or know of him. A core part of the condition is fear of being judged and being overly concerned with how others perceive you, the last thing you'd want to do is draw attention to yourself.
The real kicker is that he leaves his instagram page at the bottom and you need only take one look at that and his cover is blown.
All the girls at work are going out for a girls trip and no one invited me. I overheard 3 of the girls talking and one asked if I was invited. The room was silent and then they just burst out laughing. I talk and laugh with these ppl everyday and this is how they truly feel about me.
They treat their own friends like that, don’t even think they are real friends to each other. Karmas a bitch! Don’t let this get in your head.
You don’t want friends like that anyway
They sound like nasty people. You wouldn’t enjoy being around jerks like that anyway.
Kinda feel the same way, like, were on the same team, same table, i was right in front of them, one person invited everyone except me. I just learn not to care anymore
Thats all you need to knpw about them . They are rude
I truly feel for you bro because I go through the same thing.
I would consider you a friend and a brother.
One thing that always held me back socially, and it is a symptom of ADHD, Asperger's and mild autism, is not picking up on social cues as well as the emotional temperature of a room or situation.
Without realizing it on a very conscious level, I would isolate myself from people because they were acting cagey and distancing themselves from me. The pain from being estranged has lasting psychological effects. And this in turn can cause us to be more self-conscious and paranoid.
Thank you so much for this video, I feel so relieved that other people go through this as well
I hope this isn’t weird to say but it makes me feel better that even someone as attractive as this guy doesn’t have friends like me
That was my first thought, the guy looks like a fashion model and he still struggles. It makes me more comfortable being in a similar place.
Fr though. That tells me the nobody is perfect. There is always a story to tell behind a pretty face.
Honestly that's something I realized as I've gotten older. More people are awkward and have social anxiety than you think. When you stop trying to make yourself perfect and stop overthinking the better off you'll be. It's just putting yourself out there more. Sure it'll be hard at first, but it gets better and it's nice when you're comfortable enough to be with people who actually care about you.
I feel like there has to be a name for this sensation.
Hi! If you'd like to, I'll put together a discord server as a way to talk to people without judgement, to find friends and try to expose yourself to new people gradually. You can choose to have camera or not, your real name or not, just listen to other people talking and chime in when comfortable or just stick to the chat. I will create the server out of you guys's wishes and needs. DM me on discord if you'd like to join the server at eviii$4731 ❤
To bad all of us didn’t go to the same school, we could’ve eaten lunch with each other
Man, I wish...
thing is we probs wouldn't, the scary part about distancing yourself is not noticing those around you doing the same
@@koba2160 fax
*Too
No, you wouldn't have. Same goes for the hundreds who liked your comment. Why? Because there's plenty of people like him and they go unspoken to and without friends. You guys like to act optimistic and kind but the truth is you don't care about other people. Same goes for me, and the friendless people out there. We don't care about eachother.
You don't need to fit in. The beautiful thing is you are self aware, maybe a little too much so. Many people aren't willing to lok inward. Everything you need is within yourself. I'm only a year older than you but you're a good soul. Makes me take a step back and look at myself from a more based standpoint. Good on you
I just watched your video in its entirety and could identify with some of your issues from my younger years. I feel that sometimes we give people, strangers, whoever, too much power over how we feel. Dont! Put yourself out there and try and even if you blunder, dont be so hard on yourself. Often we dont realize that we all in general have some struggle whether we show it or not. You would be surprised, I know. You are a handsome man, articulate and seem to have a thoughtful sensitivity that some people would greatly appreciate. I would enjoy talking with you. Dont sell yourself short and carefully research all those meds you mentioned. Maybe by now you are dealing better with your anxiety and I hope that you are doing better and feel happier. I wish you the best!
Literally me. "Friendly" with both groups, but never invited or welcomed.
yup
That's me.
We had two groups in class. But coming from a school where there was no groupism at all, I could not adjust to it. I was in good company with both the groups, and tried to be the friendly guy. But in the end, the groups never united and I was alone. And the fact that I wasn't 100 percent into any of these groups also meant that none of them have contact with me now, because they didn't count me as a friend at all.
Ahh...big mistake.
Same I know so many people and are cool with both groups but I never really fit in for some reason. And it’s crazy how many people know me and only like one or two have texted me to check up on me during quarantine lol. But it’s whatever.
Kinda the same but I would always distance myself from either group
Same here bro
How did RUclips know that I have no friends at 25 and recommend this video to me? That's crazy accurate!
I know right lol I felt slightly attacked
U seem really chill tho just based on apppearance lol
Same.
I turned 24 in january this targeted videos are getting to acurate
Same I'm 24 tho, guess the AI Online Fingerprint is quite Accurate, 0_o
Thanks for sharing from a mother who has been dealing with this with my son since he was 17 and is now almost 21. The way you explained this really helped me to understand him better and how he is feeling as he dosent say much to me. He has started slowly getting out, exercising which I can see is making a differnce. Wishing you good luck in your endeavour to overcome this and I truly believe you will, XX
Hi Ben, I love your positif attitude, and I am sure you'll work your way around it. Wishing you all the best, don't give up, you seem such a good and authentic person.
Dude I'm so glad you posted this, I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. everything you described is dead on
you are not alone. i am here with you. thank you. i am glad that we are rocking in the same boat my friend. it is nice and feels almost refreshing to hear someone else talk about this issue and feel the exact same way and know that you yourself are going through the same thing. for me its almost refreshing, and helps me feel normal as not many people like to talk about it. thank you for comment. stay strong minded, we will beat this shit. stay in touch. cheers mate
Go to church and seek Jesus Christ. His power will change your life. I promise.
May God bless you and be with you.
I share this.
John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.
John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true.
25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written.
John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.
Where can one start reading The Bible?
In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts.
about existence of God:
ruclips.net/video/BljrAME1LLw/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/видео.html
about Scriptures, videos are in English:
jezus.simplesite.com/435491565
Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Yr Meri bhi same problem hai ... Kya apko Hindi bilkul bhi nhi aati Ben ?
I feel ya , I'm now 35, I have my wife and a few people I talk to only at work. Besides that, I hang out with no one and haven't really since around 23 ish also.
Thank you for speaking out about such an important matter!
So true, always good to hear someone who is going through the same situation ✌🏼
Not only do you seem like an amazing man but.... you’re absolutely beautiful!!!!!!!💗🌞💙💙💙💙💙
this is legit me
@@suchanuce3351 wow you are such an expert at this🤡
People often develop social anxiety bc of being bullied or other traumatic events happen to them
REPENT and be BORN AGAIN believing on Messiah Lord Jesus, nothing more important, today is the day of salvation and Jesus can show you the truth, its not blind faith you can see it for yourself if you truly seek like promised. John 3:3 unless a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God / Luke 13:3 unless you repent, you will all likewise perish ⚠️❤️⚠️❤️
This truly just blew my mind. Every single word describes my life, past & present. High school I was always well known and got along with everyone, but was never truly close with anyone. Went to college, pledged fraternity as well, was cool with everyone but didn’t really ‘click’ with any of them enough to form any long lasting bonds…so now I’m in my 30s and going through social anxiety as well and the feeling you described of the other person noticing was SPOT ON. Omg…that feeling fuels my social anxiety because once you realize that the other person sees the discomfort it immediately becomes awkward…then you get the “I failed…” feeling that comes after. Ugh…
So yeah. If anything, just know you’re not alone man…because I’ve truly never heard a more exact description of what I’m going through. Thank you for telling y(our) story lol 🙏🏽🙏🏽
It's OK to be a totally self-contained person as long as you have a purpose to keep you motivated.
You’re not alone. Lots of people are in the same situation, and there’s nothing wrong with that. No friends are better than fake friends, *believe me*
Exactlyyyyyyyy
May God bless you and be with you.
I share this.
John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.
John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true.
25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written.
John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.
Where can one start reading The Bible?
In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts.
about existence of God:
ruclips.net/video/BljrAME1LLw/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/видео.html
about Scriptures, videos are in English:
jezus.simplesite.com/435491565
Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Truer words were never spoken. I used to have a "buddy" that I'd hang out with but he used me as a stepping stone every chance he got to make me look bad and lift himself. Sadly it works too. It's not like tv where some woman comes in to help, oh no everyone piles on until you feel like you're nothing. Needless to say I stopped hanging out with him but I don't have anyone else to hangout with now
J E S U S
John 7: 7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it, that its deeds are evil.
John 7: 15 The Jews then were astonished, saying, “How has this man become learned, having never been educated?” 16 So Jesus answered them and said, “My teaching is not Mine, but His who sent Me. 17 If anyone is willing to do His will, he will know of the teaching, whether it is of God or whether I speak from Myself. 18 He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.
19 “Did not Moses give you the Law, and yet none of you carries out the Law? Why do you seek to kill Me?” 20 The crowd answered, “You have a demon! Who seeks to kill You?”
Facts
I realised that people that have social anxiety or introverts are the most genuine people ever & are good friends & conversationalists. I could be wrong but people with social anxiety & introverts dislike small talk but if you talk about life or any deep convos, we come to life & break out of the social anxiety armour.
Yeah we're just being real with people.
We dont like to talk about unnecessary toxic stuff
This.
this is true, and ur comment brought me joy aha. ty
sadly too many people dont wanna talk about stuff like that, they rather converse about superficial stuff, makes me sleepy...not many people around that like to talk about history, philosophy, politics, many even get angry or upset if you try to talk about stuff like that...and at some point, you stop trying.
Thanks Ben. Videos like yours and the one from Never Give Up are always great when people allow themselves to be vulnerable to connect to others going through the same thing. I hope it got better for you
There is many of us, one video popped up the other day and now I’m finding many different RUclips creators speak on having the same thing. Made me feel a little better ❤
We live in a very narcissistic society. Most folks only care about what you do or what you have rather than who you are.
that has nothing to do with narcissism
Selfish is a better word. Narcissists are still pretty common though.
You're clearly lacking love if that's the perspective u hold on life, free yourself change you're life style, u are just probably attracting people like yourself.... Soo u must not truly love youreself if u can't love others unconditionaly
Or stay down buddy choice is youres but no one really wants to see negative comments like this, the only negativity you're seeing in life is probably all within you're self, so either stay down and shut up, or change you're life style and see life for it's true beauty
@@pattyverward1201 It absolutely does, narcissists tend to view society in a very judgemental way. Sure, that behavior is not solely related to narcissism but to say it has nothing to do with? You're beyond wrong.
The crazy thing about having social anxiety, being quiet and introverted is that you'll never be able to be friends with someone else who is like you because you always need the other person to engage you first and these type of people are extroverted and confident.
Fascinating! I think you're right
Yes! I almost depend on the other person’s energy to get me going, and then I can be fine.. but if I’m with another quiet person, we can be quiet together for days 😂😂
weird bc this happens to me too but im extroverted! when im with other extroverted and outgoing people i get really uncomfortable but i feel very comfortable with talking to introverted people, and most of my friends are introverts lol
introvert and extrovert terms are not as simple. There are many kinds. There are passive extroverts and social introverts. I am an introvert and can socialize but I need to recharge for days after. I can totally be quiet with someone for days though. There are extroverts who would seem quiet and chill but can switch on full mode at any moment no need to recharge.
100%
Ben, your videos present an authentic & genuine person. Our culture and the world is rapidly changing causing tremendous anxiety, loneliness, and disconnection. Sometimes we need to take a step back and realize the reality of the current environment. I believe from my limited knowledge of your video, this may be a case of "I am not the problem, but the solution" - mentally re-framing your emotional constructs and expectations. Trying too hard to adapt or fit-in can alienate one from your purpose and passion in life and creates tremendous of stress.
Medications may or may not be the answer.
I feel your pain and can only suggest self-discovery through connecting with the natural world - hiking, water sports, etc. Nature is the greatest healer. Get to "know thyself well", through personal journal - everyday and let your emotions and thoughts have safe place to vent. Meditation works as well. Volunteering in your community is a great place to connect with people that may have the same values as you establish lasting relationships. As a career choice (helping people) - your would make a great social worker. Best wishes and remember "you are not alone."
I am 60 years old and i have no friends. Its been a good 10 years with social anxiety now. My fear is everytime you make a friend, there is no two way street. Its all about them. Then they just want something constantly from you. Then they nag you to do things you are not comfortable doing. But on my side i trust no one. I am done. I now enjoy being alone. It gives me time to smell the roses and be with my dog. But you are young and i hope you find peace in any situation you feel comfortable.
No friends are better than fake friends without a doubt. Feeling alone around people is worse than being alone
I honestly disagree . Social need is so important to human beings. I would say it comes directly after food, shelter and water. People take social lives for granted and I see a lot of people in their early 20s ending best friendships and friendships over small slights/arguments/misunderstandings and falling outs and just not realizing how vital those relationships are and that they arent going to be able to pick up new friends from the supermarket. Once you finish college and hit mid-late twenties it becomes incredibly difficult to find and make new friends. I lost my best friend at 23 and I literally never found another one. I never ever thought that would happen.
@@beepbeep9043 Very insightful. I've personally ended ties with most my friends over the last two years. I am 24yrs old I am definitely not seeing any new friends as of yet at least. I know what you mean, one does not simply pick up a new friend out of no where but I feel it was neccessary for me. People I've ended ties with have been one sided friendship. Ive witness envy against personal growth which hurts alot. A Social life is important but with the wrong type of people it's more draining rather than a feeling of fufillment.
@@beepbeep9043 I can both agree and disagree, it just depends on the person‘s mindset.
@@guillotine_cut yeah absolutely I would rather have no friends than a bunch of fake friends I completely agree. Feeling grateful that you can finally breathe and not have to be a mule for everybody is the greatest feeling one can find besides love. But chasing love can lead to quicksand, so self-love is a great tied for first :)
I wholeheartedly agree with this!
Dude I don't even care anymore. Seriously, I've tried therapy, medication, even yoga but I'm just gonna have to accept the fact that I'm a socially awkward emotionless robot who's gonna die alone. I'm 25 as well and it just hits hard that no one wants to understand how I feel. Everyone, even my own family tells me I have to open up more. Well what do you want me to do, talk to every random person on the street just to get a cold shoulder? It's hard man. Especially during this pandemic. Like, I see more people in relationships now than ever before. It just makes me feel even worse about myself. But it's cool. I've been here this long so I may as well keep grinding through life. Sorry if I wrote too much lol. I just needed to vent.
Don't feel sorry for yourself
Thanks fam. I did manage to get a job at a restaurant so I'm just gonna try to take it one step at a time from greeting other people to very general small talk to hopefully getting to the point where my coworkers are comfortable with me and I'm comfortable with them. It's sad for me to say but I actually have a handbook where I've jotted down conversation starters. I know, it's that bad lol
@@yung_Latios let everything come naturally, some of my closest friends are those who chose to stick around and put up with me despite my flaws , no one is perfect 😉
Thanks so much I'll do my best. What I'm hoping that won't happen is if everyone there will start gossiping about me being that quiet guy and treating me differently. That's the main problem I've had all my life. I just can't be someone I'm not and my personality is generally quiet and laid back. I can start a conversation but I can't really keep it going unless it's based around my interests.
@@yung_Latios your interest is what makes you, you. If they don't like it their lost, literally
I’m glad that somebody finally speaks about something I have been through. My suggestion is to find something you really enjoy to do and you’ll be able to have conversations genuinely with your peers. If you need some help I’m glad to talk and be your friend.
46, I lost social interest since I loss my mum. I tried lots but getting harder 😢.
That rush feeling that you describe I get it a lot especially when someone approaches me to wanna have a conversation. It’s like a feeling of urgency to try and say something , anything regardless if it makes sense .
Yes exactly. It's super awkward if I don't just force myself to say something
You'll probably never read this comment, but let me tell you something. The older you get, you'll realize that if you have even one true friend, you are very lucky. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. Focus on building your life and career. The rest will fall into place.
Was going to say something similar, im 40 and last time i had 'friends' was 20 years ago and was gonna say people just become acquaintances or collegues.
I am 29 turning 30 this year. I didnt understand why some of my close friends that I have had for years started to become distant. For a while I was sad but I quickly realized that people change and life changes and along with it people will drift away. I cherish the close friends I have in this stage of my life because they have been at my side at my worst and at my best.
I want to interject here. “Things” fall into place but relationships don’t just “fall into place”-intentionality does matter. Forcing something is different but, definitely intentionality is key in BUILDING anything. Be you! Be true! But be brave and intentional
I have social anxiety and things I have found that make it worse are negative self talk and comparing yourself to others. Things that have helped are finding hobbies I enjoy and joining small groups. I'm also going to try microdosing with psilocybin.
Totally agree
I always try to be good but people always want to use me as if I was dumb, and whenever I fight back they get mad and outcast me, they always expect you to be nice.
Truth
Story of my life
Same here. I decided to be alone now sometimes it feels lonley, but they just accept you when u are what they like. That's bullshit.
Same story bro. It's killing me a couple of days ago.
Yep :(
I feel your pain! People suck! Whenever someone wants to be my friend its more about what they can take and not about being an actual friend. Dont think I have any answers for you, but when I see you as a person, I'm a little surprised you are having this problem.
I used to feel like this. Mine started much earlier, but when I was in my mid to late teens, I started actively trying to work out what it was that made me have issues dealing with other people. Once I worked out what those were, I started working on fixing those piece by piece. Fast forward to my early 40s, and I guess some people thought of me as a bit of an odd-ball, but I had zero issues making friends now. Just keep chugging on work on creating a better you, and all the pieces will fall into place. Sometimes it just takes time.
Around the age of 40, depression started kicking in though. After a few year years of pain, I did psychotherapy for a couple of years which helped and then I did magic mushrooms and immediately figured out where all my life issues came from; not just the social anxiety from earlier years, but also the depression later in life. Drugs were not the answer for me. I needed to work out where my problems came from. It turned out my issues were all rooted deep in my childhood; traumas I didn't think were significant were significant and were controlling my life.
Hopefully you and others here in the comments can find their path to happiness :)
Feeling of being introvert and at same time you want to socialize. You had me there.
Hi! If you'd like to, I'll put together a discord server as a way to talk to people without judgement, to find friends and try to expose yourself to new people gradually. You can choose to have camera or not, your real name or not, just listen to other people talking and chime in when comfortable or just stick to the chat. I will create the server out of you guys's wishes and needs. DM me on discord if you'd like to join the server at eviii$4731 ❤
I'm socially awkward, i spent so much time on my own that i forgot how to converse with people. I make inappropriate jokes and say edgy stuff thinking others will laugh but now i just keep quiet and use small answers.
my life
^
Same
No dont do that just beacuse you feel akward just be you. You will find someone that will laugh att your innapropriate edgy jokes. I have one friend like this and i just love her and i just take others for what they are..and i laugh to bad jokes or at jokes that People dont. 🤣 love it so dont stop find your People.
Yep. The *worst* thing to DO is to 'Try to be funny' . 'Trying' just makes 'Bad' jokes, people get 'annoyed' , 'Bored', 'Sick of his wise ass bull, Maybe he's 'Targeting ME'...Bam, Boing, Bam. I 'Still' do that, most is just *Not fen Funny* so, therefore, IT is 'Annoying' even 'Maddening' to some.
I love this video! Millions of people like you have the same issue but one one else speaks out . And this issue would cause many relaxed issues .something definitely wrong to our life style.
Right there with ya bro. It does not get any better the older you get. Especialy right after college i noticed immediately how isolated i was. Everyone just left. All social just went out the window and i tried making up for it by going to bars and clubs, seeing music. But when you got noone those places suck bigtime. Im 48 now and i have quietly accepted that my social life is over. At least i have my wife and her family here. I thank god for that. My anxiety is worse now that i stopped socializing though. I do miss it. I miss making connections with people. My advice is to get involved wirh a hobby you enjoy and go to face to face events for it.
I wouldnt say it doesnt get any better. I can agree its a case by case basis. I think its been easier than ever to make friends and thats coming from an introvert. I think one of the best ways is to work for a company where the work means something to you. You will find like minded folk there.
I'm in my early 30's and don't have friends. I have no problems socializing and have been told I'm a conversationalist, but at the end of the day, there's no real connection. Now that I'm older, I'm okay with it and don't take it personally. I understand that I'm different, it's the kind of world we live in, and that I'm not the only one experiencing this phenomenon. I appreciate my energy, my space and time, and if one day I'm truly able to create authentic connections I will appreciate those moments even more.
You sound like me😂
right well as I have heard before
"before you diagnose yourself as depressed/anxious etc... make sure that you are not actually in fact just surrounded by ass**les" LOL I just genuinely don't find most people interesting. I don't find them disgusting or anything bad... I just don't care to have any more intimacy than what is required.
I have a handful of good friends and a couple handfuls of acquaintances and I am cool with that.
I just want to connect with someone .. ugh.. I hate this feeling 😔 .. this feeling of “who can I talk to?”
@beswick1111 I do everything alone. I don't mind it. It's no big deal for me. I plan on going on some trips alone. I'm comfortable in who I am.
I am the opposite. I do like socializing with certain people. I like being alone at times but I do like company :(
In high school you were almost forced to socialize. And now that you are on your own, you have the choice whether or not you want to. And over time, you get used to not socializing
I never thought of it that way, I guess it's true
Very true
Hey Ben! I have felt that "Rush's you are describing and I went on citaloprim and combined with busparone. Really helps me a lot with it. It didn't help that my parents didn't want to admit that there was something wrong. Hang in there bud 👍
Im in the same boat as you, 25 years old and just started college and my social anxiety is through the roof! I used to be so social years ago and now its completely different
Make some friends, bud! It’s good for your health.
I couldn’t even talk for 14 minutes into a camera and post it online, I have no pictures of myself on any social media and always feel like when I talk to people I come across in a way that’s wrong, I can’t even type this properly like how it is in my head
:’))
I understand, you seem to over-analyze yourself just like I do when it comes to myself. I do it when I talk, draw, sing- just about everything. And then I wondered, why do I only do this to myself and never anybody else? Not that I want to do this to anybody else. But the point is why am I critiquing myself so badly?
I always overthink everything I do or say even typing this i had to re typed it like 10 times so I don't sound weird(but still sound like one)
I know this feeling all to well I refuse to use social media tbh and I always feel like when I try to talk to someone even by just saying hello to themnthst ive somehow managed to rub them the wrong way it makes me feel like a freak
Well, you can explain exactly how I feel
I'm 28 and have no friends
It's lonely sometimes, but I've come to enjoy my freedom
29 and same same :) no peer pressure, you don’t compare yourself and don’t feel judged for every decision you make
Damn I'm 28 also with no friends
I’m 15 with no friends 😭 well sum but half of them are fake
That's so true. Better alone than around fake friends
@@Dylan-bj4fx so you do have friends lol
Sorry to hear..but you are not alone! My son have same issues and that makes me so sad..good luck to you and thanks sharing this video