Broken Marriages & Why I Don't Fix Them Anymore
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- Опубликовано: 28 фев 2020
- Live broadcast from my experiences coaching hundreds of divorces from broken marriages, and a bit about why I don't bother to fix them anymore.
#BrokenMarriage #MarriageCounselling #Divorce 
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WHY EVEN TRY TO FIX HER????
Hey Rich just wanted to let you know that when you click on your provided link for your red flags chapter it works but when I tried to type it into safari manually it brought me to a random Walmart page. Might not be of concern to you but just wanted to give you the heads up 👌🏼 -fellow RUclipsr
Rick - I am a big fan! I was hoping to hear you talk about ppl who are interesting in pursueing excellence in areas other than enterprenuership - like corporate area or academia etc.
Looking fantastic as always, brother - good speech ;-)
Women marry men hoping they'll change, and we don't. Men marry women hoping they'll never change, and they do.
best comment
R Kaylor: Idk if you came up with this...but it's awesome.
It means men were more honest.
@@KingKhan-123 More like, men typically have more realistic expectations. While many women expect Mr Perfect prince charming to come sweep her off her feet by saying and doing all the right things at all the right times.
Men live in reality. Women live in a fantasy.
@nlpjohn Damn. You've got good understanding of this game
During my divorce period, my ex and I went to 3 different marriage councilors. Each one said the same thing during their first meeting which was that we, the couple, are only there to work on ourselves as individuals because that's the only person we can change. Then, as we were asked to speak individually regarding that statement at these meetings, the first thing out of my ex's mouth every time was..."Well, he...." When we walked out of the third councilor's office, my ex looked at me and asked what I thought. I looked at her and said, "This isn't going to work."
So u married a terrible woman, didnt watch out for red flags
@@henryf5001 So true Henry. Men didn't have access to this type of information 30 years ago. You can bet though that I've been teaching my 3 adult sons all of these warning signs now. The best revenge is not letting the story repeat again.
@@henryf5001 hash tag " not all"
Derrik Ollar the reason you had gone to 3 is, they all use the same strategy, when my marriage was in trouble I had seen Dr Phil, just before he became TV Dr Phil and went and got his book, in it he says just that, they all use the same strategy and it doesn't work, so he states in 15 years of marriage counseling, he never fixed one marriage
@@stevelynch5843 agreed. Also, I found out recently that the divorce rate amongst marriage counselors is the same as it is in the general population. If they had any real insight, then that certainly wouldn't be the case.
Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Life is the number one cause of death
Rachel T. Are you in support of marriage or staying single
100% of home invasions happen in the home.
Logical sense makes sense.
I have a female friend that has been with her husband for over 10 years but they only just got married about a year ago and they are already getting a divorce. Marriage is like it’s own nail in the coffin. Women want weddings, not marriage.
that was the mistake...after a few years together and no marriage that window is closed...waiting that long is basically a guarantee of divorce..
At least, with that restored car you fixed up, you can get 10X the money you put into it, but with the time & money you invest in trying to fix her up ... Zero return.
People Unite ! ... almost nobody makes money restoring or rebuilding cars... popular misconception
So true... My ex returned to drinking, and the cost benefit was out of my favor. Buy a lemon, spend two years trying to fix it up, and something else will go wrong. The problem is the material and the engineering. Scrap it. An addict is an addict. My mistake.
You'd spend $300k USD to have the car up and running... a second hand one would likely be cheaper.
Your message is spreading. Couple of us guys were talking about your video with Rolo and the 9 Iron rules of Tomassi while sitting in the sauna. I'm 31. Anytime someone in their early 20's asks me about women, I tell em to find your channels and purchase The Rational Male and we'll talk from there lol.
Rollo IS married and talks like he is some rare guy that can maintain a normal marriage.
@@BGFitnessNY have you been married? Sounds like you're intimidated by Rollo being married. If it works, evidently so, what's the problem? He's not telling you to marry and I haven't heard him ever advise anyone to do so.
Correctly done. If he watches, he'll have less questions and can be a better dialogue. If he doesn't watch, then you'll know he doesn't want to do the work.... Or take it that seriously.
@@TILLEYJS Yep. It's basically a practice. Takes time to understand and grasp it all but once you do it's like having a superpower as Rich called it. You can better navigate the sexual market place.
Thank you for all of your videos. Marriage is my biggest disappointment and best lecture i have got in my life. I married 11 years older girl (too hot for 33) and hell of red flags starts appear after wedding. Extreme jealousy, abusive behavior, etc... She start working only for part time and start to pull out money from me, she buys a dog and always complaining about everything. She is annoyed when i'm in my day-job or working one of my businesses. I'm now preparing for divorce, I tried to fix it, but that's not worth it. Your message is for guys like me helpful and i can cope with that shit.
I have a saying " it's easier to fix a wrecked train than a "train-wreck."
True words.
wise words...here is another one i heard.." if woman puts the man in the doghouse ...she will soon find him in the cat house lol"
@@workingshlub8861 🤣 thats funny because its true... 🤣
@@workingshlub8861 ..and I have another wise saying, if the cat is too fishy, then, he'd better get out because he's at
"Joe's Crab Shack."
Watched Dr. Smith on Tim Pools podcast last night. It was awesome, and our boy did us proud. I hope it brings some more folks to you and Sean's work as well as BTTW.
Link?
@@Dakkaroni Tim cast IRL has been putting clips of it up all day.
Seems to me that if the woman is actually willing to help mend the situation, whatever it may be about, the guy wouldn't be out seeking help from a guy like Rich in the first place. Thats the type of situation that will actually get better.
True. I am 26 years into marriage. We have had to fix it several times. Both of us were willing to work on ourselves and the relationship. Without that there's no chance. And ROI has been good.
LMAO definitely chase excellent because it doesn't go no where women do
Too often, a man's compassion and sense of duty
....dooms him to remain in miserable marriage.
I have come to the realization, for myself, that relationships are way to difficult and costly! I have a hard enough of a time just going to work for a reasonable paycheck! Being single gives a tremendous amount of benefits... far greater than the opposite. An occasional hookup is nice... but nothing more. When it's just you, your reality can be much easier to manage.
If frame is gone and respect isn't there. It's IRREPARABLE! Trash it. With ya Rich
A broken exotic still has value to car enthusiasts, while a broken marriage only has value to the wife in family court.
My parents have been married for 32 years and it has been broken for a long time. It all started when my mom started making more money than my dad. My dad went from respected bread winner to beta slave almost over night and it has been that way for the last 17 years or so. In the 90s he worked two construction jobs that paid very well while she went to college to become a career women. Today all my dad does is complain about how she has zero respect for him but he won’t exit the marriage because he doesn’t want to lose all his stuff that she basically owns anyway. It’s painful to watch and I see this with a lot of boomers. Wife becomes a career woman and starts making bank, husband becomes her slave. All my dad’s actions are dictated by hers. All his stuff, race cars, shop, property, big house music room, etc. he can’t enjoy anyways because she determines when he can use it. When she gets home from work he drops everything to be her slave. It’s sickening to watch. I’ve had conversation after conversation with him since I’ve become red pilled about how he needs to walk away from all this and stop complaining. He’s aware that he’s lives with a woman that despises his existence but he sticks it out because he doesn’t want to lose all his stuff that he can’t enjoy anyway. It’s sickening to watch and I’ve given up on having anymore conversations with him. It’s almost like he has an addiction to complaining about her. I’ve basically told him I don’t want to hear this broken record anymore. I see this with a lot of guys, especially boomers and gen x where it seems like they have an addiction to being in a broken marriage. There’s really no getting through to them. It makes me sick to see my mom look at my dad with absolute disgust, give him a laundry list of chores that he always complies with, and hear him complain to me every time we get together about how he lives with a hateful woman.
I think too many men lack the self respect, are insecure or have just given up on requesting decent treatment, to actually do something about it. Too many men are gutless and unfortunately will ultimately die a miserable, broken man. If I would put a guess on it, maybe 10% of relationship after 10 years are even close to healthy from the man’s point of view.
The analogy about rebuilding supercars was perfect!
Thanks Richard, your advice has made a difference in my live. Keep them coming!
Im going to replay this video, i only heard "juice isn't worth the squeeze" two hundred and fifty times, i want it to be a nice round 500.
Plug in your email so Rich can send you the 20 red flags chapter guys it’s the most accurate red flags list I have ever seen. I’ve searched the entire internet trying to find research on party girls being a red flag and Rich provides the only sufficient incite on party girls that I have ever came across. Awesome chapter and excited for the full book
Awesome advice Rich!!!
Women:what are you going to do to fix the relationship.
Me: what are we going to do to fix the relationship.
Women: I don’t have to fix nothing you do.
Me: ok so I’m out. I’m not putting in work while you sit on a throne and watch.
Ive see this twice. And left both relationships.
I gave this same analogy a month ago relationships take 2 willing participating parties. Car restoration only takes one.
Rich, I can appreciate that you want to recuse yourself from these coaching calls. A man can fix the car because it will "allow" someone to fix it. Women (or anyone) seldom allow this because it means something is wrong and she wants to avoid any responsibility. If she is medicated, overweight and/or wallowing in a malaise, she will be even more resistant as a form of denial for the need of antidepressants, weight gain and poor attitude. Further, she likely may blame her husband as justification. You mentioned on another video that if she's checked out, it's over. Well, all of that is the definition of checked out.
Rich, as always awesome video. Your right. Side note - where did you get the hoodie at though? It’s dope.
Two people have to agree in order to start a marriage, but it only requires one person to end it.
That's one crazy game of chess you got going back there.
Such a realistic comparison of broken marriages with vehicle wrecks. After I read Rational Male everything got much clear for me with women. Cheers Rich.
Greetings from BC.
Recently I found you and Rollo. Keep up the great work.
I know that guys chanel he will fix that car. He is a true car guy
Hey Rich, great work you are doing for men! You're saying things that men NEED to hear! Thank you again! Just wondering, do you like,or have an opinion about Aston Martin's? I have always loved the 70's and 80's generation of Vanquish V-8 's.
It is the first time I see a video that is not more than a year old. 😄 Welcome!!
Rich You are a good honest guy
waiting for the book to be out on Amazon !
Rich,
It seems you are correct. A bad relationship is like a bad stock, get rid of it and move on.
You Should so a series on what you should do before you get married. It would also help mitigate the damage in case a divorce were to happen.
Exit with minimal fall out..words of wisdom
I tried all the routes, counseling which she was all for when it was easy stuff (counselor getting to know us). After a few sessions, it was apparent the blame was about to fall on her. She accused me of sleeping with the counselor and quit going.
Family law was horrendous (Canada). Being in those "mommy groups" was a bunch of bitter women giving her tactics to use against me like faking abuse, faking that I beat her. How to nail me to the cross, those women were vindictive. Our custody battle started civil until she listened to her mom group. Then the gloves came off.
Everyone has heard horror stories of dads who miss 1 court date and lose all rights, then nailed to the cross for 500/mth support. I was in a custody battle, with a MOUNTAIN of proof, text, photos, police reports of her crazy (and her bf) behavior. Trashing my house in the middle of the night to "get back at me". From her living in a drug house, photos of her roommates drug use. Her bf with shady 3 different names, her refusing to even tell me where she moved to (but wanted to take the child out of my home for lunch) which was no until court appointed. Documented visits, her constantly canceling to go to work, because she didn't feel like visiting the child. List goes on, after all of this the court was still lobbying to give her 50/50.
She would show up, have no paperwork asked by the court like her financial records, a background check of her boyfriend and his 3 names. Finally after 2 years she missed 1 court date, and the judge said well....she can't be bothered to show up, you get full custody. 2 years of her laying them along! I replied "if a man missed 1 date, you guys throw him under the bus. Why did she get such a delicate treatment". They didn't like my response, but they needed to hear it. Even in terms of child support (I didn't need it) but my lawyer lays out ok she works at Walmart makes this, child support chart states $300/mth (whatever it was) this is mandated by the govt. You make X, you pay Y. The judge turns around and goes "o she seems to have her hands full with her life" and lowers it to $100/mth. Again, I point out other court cases where the guy didn't show up and they nailed him to the cross for $500/mth to teach him a lesson. Perhaps a lesson should be made of her. Family court made me feel like a POS and I luckily had a lawyer (female) who knew how to handle me and did very well at her job.
she accused you of banging the counselor?? that is original lol
@@workingshlub8861 Yeah! Apparently I was banging the counselor, counselor was married, that's why the counselor took my side. She was expecting the female counselor to take her side because they're both women. The counselor would say stuff like she wished her husband was as supportive as I was. I basically walked on water at the appointments.
I the past I have referred to divorced women as "marital wreckage." Many years ago in the comic strip "Frank and Ernest" they addressed marital wreckage. One of them said, "This one marriage counselor said that marriage is like a two-way street." The other one said, "That accounts for all of the head on collisions."😊
Do a bit on dating a widow....I’ve had a number of them pass my way, but didn’t engage due to not know where to start 🤷🏼♂️
The best way to minimize the damage from divorce for men is do a mediation if possible that’s what I did.
I bet that after this straightforward video you’ll stil have some dumb guys contacting you saying: “Hey Rich, can you help me fix my marriage, ‘cause what you said doesn’t apply to me”. Good move Richard but brace yourself for more shit coming your way man !!! PEACE to you too
And he'll charge for it, because he can & the client want the validation
Can't blame cooper, but is that principled to you?
Remember gentlemen it's not your girl, It's just your turn.
Proper protocol when it comes to spinning plates, how many can you successfully do at once? For me I find 3 at a time is enough
I found once I got past 40 this became completely bloody exhausting and a pain in the arse. I’m not sure if it’s just me being lazy or I’ve just had enough of having to dealing with the bull$hit of more than one at a time??
@@rogerthornhill1491 LOL!
How do I read the red flag chapter
Got it at the end of the video nevermind!
Reading it as we speak, phenomenal job Rich, and as a guy who just got out of college/also teaches dating advice on here I think you’d find it really interesting to look into how red flag #9 (party girls) is gradually becoming the worst red flag. It’s almost as if any high quality woman attraction wise is expected to be a party girl so you’re left with a 7/10 loyal girl that you settled for or a 10/10 party girl who will cheat on you as her “fun” for the weekend. We’re entering dark times and I’m hoping there’s someway we can turn this around before humanity itself becomes a trainwreck. If broken marriages have become so brutal due to the lack of the females participation that fixing them is a waste of time, then how will we possibly fix women’s belief system on family and love in general? Keep being a hero Rich everyone needs you to pioneer us through what’s ahead✊️
Its It's always great to have relationships advice from kratos
Hahaha holy smokes beard looks well trimmed today?
Now I just feel sorry for the guy if I see him anywhere with a 8 -10 female. You can see the tension and stress he is under, she walks as if on air with him following her trying like hell to keep her calm and happy, if you see her attitude, it is horrible. Her facial expressions as he tries to speak to her, etc etc... I can do nothing but feel sorry for him.
One thing I don't see too often but I do see it, is a 5-7 female with a chad with obvious resources, but she is on top of the interactions and relationship, and I can only wonder how she managed to chip at his self esteem or self confidence to the point where he is taking so much abuse and demands from her. Like she has somehow over time convinced him he isn't shit and he is lucky to be with her.
Straight from bomber command is quite humorous! Bring on those cold hard truth bombs we men need coaching reminders to keep our head on straight!
You guys should know that chad is just as heartbroken by discovering female nature as anyone else.
After a few months she is used to him, then all the same issues arise as anyone else.
So when you have a disagreement with your wife and she has already tallied up what she is going to get and take away from you kinda looks like the end is near. She is showing her true colors.
Do you have a checklist to help men prepare for divorce?
It's me again. Please keep in mind that English is not my first language.
Do you have a book that can open the eyes of my grandsons .. 17 and 21. Both of them have 16 year old girlfriends that manipulate them and get psychological help. One of them was in a hospital for treatment and both are from broken homes. One adopted and the other's father commited suicide.
What upsets me the most is that the parents allow my grandsons to live with the girls and sleep over in the same bed. Three of them are still in school!!! Please help!!!
Try 'The Rational Male' by Rollo Tomassi - it's an eye-opener.
There is no reason to get married. If you are that hell bent on having kids, then adopt one. There is nothing fair or reasonable about Family Law Court for a man.
Agreed Family court in NY State is an absolute train wreck for men. A women can make any false allegation and the courts will grant. A stay away order for the man to leave the premises,no evidence required. Plus you have too many female feminist judges that rule for custody and child support in women's favor.
I come here for my daily dose of sanity
You might consider also how extended family and friends on both sides can become TRIBAL - and start a war - undermine - and most often with no real understanding of the base issues. Thats why my kids have no relationship with aunts, uncles, cousins etc on either side. ALL WITH THE CHILDREN's BEST INTERESTS AT HEART? - Yeah right!
Excellent point my friend.
@@norberth3778 Thank you for your kind comment. These are all average people who are meant to be caring, moral, and loyal - yet they are blind to how their baseless assumptions come around to harm the real victims - THE CHILDREN. They can't see, but I see it as hysterical insanity. Imagine not having any extended family, no birthday or Xmas cards, no friendly supporting calls with safe people, and no welcome with blood relations. And I am related to one Waring tribe. And worst of all of course, I have tried and tried to resolve it - unsuccessful - so I now have no relationship with my siblings either. No doubt this all fits with their moral and ethical construct. Oh how we can delude ourselves.
good morning dad
Is this the same for relationships such as work relationships ?
First comes the post ejaculatory guilt, then comes divorce
Post-Nut Clarity 👍
Rich cooper. The dave Ramsey of MRAs.
Hell. Fixing broken cars is a nightmare especially if they are accident wrecks. Do that sort of thing as living in may trade. Just with bigger heavier vehicles. Marriages and relationships comes with lower emotional angst than full rebuilds. Better to work on yourself that is the easiest and mot rewarding.
This is my hobby just fixed a 911 lol. I still dont have the energy to do youtube videos.
Drive them for free or flip them for a profit when tired of them
humanity & society, its a real laugher!
Hahahahaha! You brought up Tavarish wasting all his time on fixing beat up exotics!
Plz put the caption
Some women are relieved that a man cheats. She is then off the hook to proving or improving herself and then shift all the blame to you. If a guy stayed faithful and went toe to toe with a women on what it is he is getting out of the relationship you’ll find most women will back away.
Lol wow I've been watching Tavarish for a year now
only Jesus Christ can fix brocken humans...
Looking extra buff and extra bald today! xD Keep it up! TRT and hard work pays off big time!
I also liked the metaphor. Nice work there too man. I like that you don't focus on broken marriages. I also believe that you should make probably some videos with positive examples. Like people from the community who maybe have a success story and you can make a video with high quality camera, like an interview. You are the inerviewer in your home or elsewhere and you make LIVE interview with common people who succeeded with your advice or even with rollos or other guys advice. People want to see NORMAL people, not billionaires with their success sory. The latter is tiring and really annoying at that point. We want normal that became more than normal recently.
That hoody is clean Rich, damn
Bretheren, you fix crap by flushing it with "toilets," not dipping it out with "teaspoons."
Re-lapsing is the rule, not the exception... if she was fat and treated you like shit, you may fix it some, but relapse in times of little stress is the rule.
I was wondering if you could give tips for woman and the red flags we have to be careful from men?
I can give you a tip: My girlfriend of 5 years left me after getting laid off. I told her I was feeling stressed from 4 years of layoffs... she lost respect for me and really didn't care what I was going through. I spent thousands of dollars on her kids thinking we were bonding as a family. I found out her and her friend were 2 facing me the whole time. Women never change as they get older. They are the same gossiping selfish teenager but in an older womens body. 7 out of 8 of my friends are divorced. In all 7 the divorced was initiated by the woman. I grew up with 3 sisters and have seen the female mind develop. It is sad but women really do not care about men. Men and women are not meant to live together. Men and women get together for sex only. We are equals in competition for work now so there is no sharing of resources.
My tip to you is avoid a man like me. My red flag is : I have seen women for what they really are.
@Zain Khan ...and avoid women who have any signs of abuse in her life. Abused women hate men. They use being the victim to make friends with other women while destroying good people.
@@kyleprimetime thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. Well...I was in a 8 year relationship that did leave me with a bitter sweet feeling too. No he didn't cheat or anything like that. But I sacrificed a lot for him which of course is my own fault ( I was in my early twenties I didn't know better). He was dealing with severe depression at one time and I was always there for him. Helped him study for Uni exams ( he would have huge panic attacks), helped him with his thesis. I started a business and needed his help ( there were some things that needed a little physical strength that I couldn't do) and he told me his psychiatrist said because it wasn't "his business" he didn't have to help me with it. I understood and would ask my 73 yrs old father to do that part for me...business started to grow. I started to make more money than him. He didn't like that and would make me feel like shit for it. I helped him find a job. He started to feel better. People started praising him. And he left me from one day to the next. tbh best thing that happened in retrospective. But...now I'm 32 and my god.. the world has changed. Rules are different. What you say is true ...and it makes sad.
@Zain Khan You are describing all my friends :-S Almost all my closest friends either dated married man or man in relationships. One thing that I find hilarious is when they tell me they would never let their boyfriend see their phone because it's their "privacy" and they don't understand why I let my ex see mine. Let me give you a tip if one day you meet a girl who tells you that her phone is her "privacy" she has a lot to hide and it's not good. Trust me.
Women hate and denigrate men. They just do. They have been totally brainwashed and mind-controlled to be this way. Feminism is the religion of the devil. It is a satanic. All women are feminists. Many will say they aren't but they are. This is all you need to know. Trying to fight or control this society-destroyed situation is hopeless. Good luck. It ain't worth it.
I just saw a Luvs diaper commercial tonight. It is horrible all men in the park with there babies changing their diapers like fools. What a commercial
then we are told" i dont need a man" by the feminazis...they cant make up there mind..
glad to see the chess board activity.
Quit, like how pick up ended
Never heard that before lol
Maintain frame bruh
Isn't marriage itself a red flag?
us men get's completely delusional in relationship believing they work like us
My man mad they cut his skin off.
Iron Rule #7 of Rollo Tomassi
Marriage License vs. Marriage Certificate. Know the difference if you're going down this path of marriage. Also, before you consider marriage PLEASE list the benefits of being married in today's Western Society? Be honest with yourself.
Don’t judge a fish by its ability to fly...
Women are designed and happiest with a traditional 1950s role - not being the CEO of a bank or an engineer or a doctor or a lawyer
Date down and look for a Christian girl if you want a happy relationship imo
Angelic Girl 🐐
Famous internet youtube celery ...agreed!
Some women still have and choose a traditional housewife role which is fine other women choose to have a career which is also fine. Every person is different and has different strengths and weaknesses so it's not one size fits all. Some men and women don't make good parents especially when you look at social services case studies.
@Famous internet youtube celery ok ..at least you had a clean home an dinner on the table back then.....ask a woman to make you a sandwich and see what happens these days..
If it's broken, don't fix it.
The effing that you got ain't worth the effing that you get
In my experience, women are HORRIBLE when it comes to accountability. Even if she has ballooned to 300+lbs, has accumulated debt, is bad with finances, etc...it's still very likely that she'll blame everything on someone else.
There is one exception to the hypergamist and that’s the cold heart who will tolerate a man to father her children then leave when they graduate high school to then go live alone with the cats. You should do a show about them.
Not sure the juice was worth the squeeze listening to this ramble
Wrecked marriage is an easy fix: RUN *insert name* RUN!
I admire you in many ways, but acting arrogant isn't honorable.
I'd give up on advising guys on their broken marriages, too. They're so blinded they can't take advice.
You can fix a dog but you can’t fix a marriage.
Remove voting rights for women, remove marital financial rights for women, double tax single unmarried women. Everything will change.
How to fix marriage.
1.) End no fault divorce.
2.) End alimony.
3.) Mandatory paternity test at birth