You nailed it Danish. Fortunately, my ex didn't blow up. He did critize everything. He was able to enlist other people to his way of thinking. Fortunately, my friends were loyal to me. One told me that when he tried to get their help, they told him that that they are my friends not his so they didn't want anything to do with him. I truly believe that a narcissist can make another person insane.
Here are my seven I've found... 1) giving them criticism... No matter how small or even when it's beneficial to tell them. 2) not making them center of attention. 3) making any kind of joke about them. 4) not caring about what they have to say. 5) not doing what they want, even if it's dangerous or counter productive. 6) not agreeing with anything they say ... No matter how small the disagreement. 7) not showing any emotional response when they walk past you. And a bonus number 8... 8) having a nice conversation with someone else who isn't them... They really give me the evil look.
The more birthdays an empath/non-narc celebrates - the longer they are on Earth - a narc takes it as a reminder of their "failure" to have taken them down.
It makes me deeply sad that I became incredibly accustomed to this insidious abuse and that I called it normal. The years lost because of believing *I* was the crazy one. I am just glad I haven't lived under his roof for the last 8 years. Healing is possible, but scars remain. Thank you SO much, Danish, for your illuminating work.
OMG, I loved the part of breathing wrong and the TONE of your voice makes them go into victim mode and them wanting to start an argument. This is one of the BEST videos out there on people that have NPD. I never knew that the TONE of my voice when I was talking to my EX, I mean the NPD person (ha ha) would set him off and he would take it personally even if we were talking about the weather!!!
Me too. It was always that I used the wrong word or my tone of voice. I once said perhaps it's just YOUR perception that causes you offense. Oh that explosion was amazing.
I Love that last part!! which is most important & should be BOLDLY stated along with the word anytime a Narcassist is mentioned. Many people take them lightly. They think it's as simple as a narc looking in the mirror-thinking their cute. They have no idea,how SERIOUSLY dangerous they are,until the word DANGEROUS is attached.👍
This is so true. I once asked my ex narc to put some potatoes in the fridge. Dude lost his mind! Exactly like you're saying "You can't push me around, you don't respect my time, I'm not your servant!" Like dude... I've got snow all over my shoes, I'm on my way to taking the dog out, why can't you just...? Or one time I asked him to leave the bedroom door open, and he started hitting furtiture screaming. And I was like... How am I going to have a life with this person? If I can't ask for simple favors around the house? How would we ever have a child if he throws a tantrum if I ask him to change a diaper? It was a huge reason why I left! He also controlled my way of speaking, I had to say "It would be great if...", I could never say "Can you do this or that" as he found it rude. I could never sound demanding at all. It all was so crazy.
Wow, I needed to hear this. Was having one of those doubting myself moments, maybe I was imagining that my narc did all these things, maybe I am the horrible one, maybe my exceptions are just too high etc etc and then everything you said, Danish, even the first minute reminded me that everything you have said here is true...even my breathing bothers him, my very presence in the room, I can say something 'normal' like 'I need to get some more butter' is enough to open the door of his kitchen sinking ranting and verbal attacks, I literally walk on egg shells, I hardly speak these days, but when I do, it's apparently unbearable and intolerable for him. He is such a victim!
thank you Agsin Danish . the first thing i learned about being abused was…. i read that one of the symptoms of abuse is you cannot trust your feelings 😮. i’m considering a divorce and i can’t trust my feelings??? i was talking about that at a AlAnon meeting and a girl spoke up and said .. your feelings are solid. it’s just that they have been messed with and twisted around for so long you start to believe it 😳 Wow !! spot on . trust your gut feelings. they are probably true .. thank you and Here’s to a good 2023🙏🏼
I experieced this even with my own family even before meeting the narcissist. The sad part is I looked for people who treated me the same way because that's what I saw as normal. After watching videos on narcisism I have learned so much and I realize that I am an empath and have let people abuse me and manipulate me. I don't trust anyone and have become a hermit.
@@SuperGringo71 i was so lucky . at my lowest point i see a lady on facebook that i have known since we were 5 years old. a lady that has Always been good to me . and she is a widow of 11 years . well you can guess the rest. i never saw it coming.. but here i am 😊 yeah . you never know what tomorrow can bring . i wish you well
after decades of abuse and all that goes with it . the only way i could have even a appearance of peace was … blind compliance 😔 and that is no way to live . thank you one more time for bringing all this stuff to our attention.. 👍🏼
Danish, your channel is helping me so much. It has great and compact content, and particularly, your voice is warm, calm and soothing, you sound like you're talking to me personally, as an old friend. There must be a great human being behind it. Furthermore, you are not just providing facts about these individuals, you explain to victims the dynamics to understand what's going on. Love from an empath.
I couldn't agree more! I'm a retired physician, and after a lifetime of growing, healing, and learning, I still find it very soothing and helpful to listen to you explain the dynamics of being raised by narcissists. I sincerely appreciate you and thank you! 🙏💝💠 As an example, I made a decision to visit my elderly father quarterly. I intentionally used the simplest vocabulary possible due to my interaction with a diverse population in my profession. While speaking to my father, I corrected myself and replaced a "college word" with a simpler word, triggering rage and verbal abuse from my father because he thought I was insulting his intelligence. Anything, no matter how innocent, can trigger them. Thanks again. 🙏💝🕊️
Yes, I've heard my father plenty of times saying to my mother: 'Am I your slave? Don't make my schedule! What do you still want from me?!', when he was doing the minimum work around the house. I think this is a way to make you to not have needs, to count only on yourself, instead of asking him and turning everything into a fight and a half a*sed job. Now I can do some man work, if it doesn't require too much force but I've realized I want a helpful partner, because I'm tired of handling all kinds of stuff by myself just because I know and can.
Over the phone I told my ex narc in a calm voice his continuous Karen behavior is why his sister and brother wont have anything to do with him and he flipped out. No phone calls since, no more being used as an emotion doormat. Peaceful not having that crazy contacting me any more.
My sister was with a narcissist. They were on vacation enjoying a beautiful relaxing morning. He picked a fight with her about the direction she was stirring her coffee. No answer she gave satisfied him, and with each answer, he intensified the fight. It blew up into a two hour fight that left her in tears.
They're extremely jealous of every single thing in your life. Even if they have everything a person could ever want or need...it's never enough for them. They want what you have. They're also jealous of your relationships. They CANNOT stand to see other people be happy around you.
Thank you so much. I have been married to a narcissist for 26 years. I am on anti depressants. Everything you said I have been through. It is very difficult to stay strong sometimes.
@@triple999fruitful unfortunately I am in a situation where I cannot leave. I still love him even though he treats me the way he does. Sometimes I think he's like a jekyll and Hyde
@@rowenawillis5850 a person who treats you badly doesn't even love themselves. You can't do anything about their own inner work. You can do the work on yourself. Look into codependency and bit by bit it becomes clearer how you are responsible for your own life. You don't owe anyone anything over their rubbish, and you certainly don't need to sacrifice your life for their self pity and self loathing. You deserve you. When you are you the abuse will be less of a glue and more of a motivation to be yourself. Free. Strong. Healthy.
Excellent video, the comparison sensitivity and difference of opinions especially speak to me. I find it hilarious how rigid/black and white narcissists are. they'll say they want to talk things out, then shun you for expressing what is simply a difference of opinion. Keep up the awesome work.
This was so exhausting by avoiding them in the same household!! I couldn’t believe I survive!! Thought my ex mil was toxic, after a sudden discard, found out my ex husband was covert narc and mil was overt! OMG!! I should have done my research years ago!! I just didn’t understand why I treated them so nice but was always not appreciated back then.
Another masterpiece delivered by Danish. This video is so much relatable. I still remember when we have differences of opinion which is quite natural in any normal relationship, I often used to get criticized and devalued by him as someone who is " anti him". As aptly mentioned by you, it was always either in black( Anti him) or in white ( Pro him). Thanks again for your through insight on the topic. ❤️👍
This literally happened to me he was talking and I didn't hear him so I said what? and he said wtf is wrong with you watch how you talk to me..I was like huh wtf just happened and he was mad all day about it and then started another pointless argument 🤣
Mr. Bashir, can you talk about two situations with the Narcs, pls: 1) Why the love going to funerals even to people they don´t know. They love giving condolences and going to this kind of events...2) And, why the dress like a doll, they wear weird fashions, sometimes expensive, but look like Doll Dresses, jazzy, over-the-top, out of context, like Disney Princesses.
I agree with Christina. They are showing they are indeed empathic, and you better believe it. As long as they have people seeing them do it. I think the term is Communal narcissists. They also love giving to charity, but only when it gives them publicity. "See? I'm such a Mr. Nice Guy." As for the outward appearances, well, that's to compensate for the hollow shell within. They like to think you CAN judge a book by its cover.
They love everything about your 2 detailed questions thats for sure. A narcissist has no self. So they have to be regulated by attention. Good, bad it doesn’t matter. If you have a narc in your life and you said to them…”can we talk about these 10 things you did to me last week and how they made me feel?”You just gave them enough supply to last a month. They own you. They control you. It doesn’t matter how they got that control. They did or said 10 negative things to you that impact you greatly. Not only did those 10 things hurt you, you are still here? Cuz I’m goin to hurt you again while we talk about those 10 things. And you are just going to take it. If narcs were going to change they would have already. Think about the power play that gives them. They don’t love you, they treat you terrible, and the response they get from us is basically “ “we love you Mr Narc. It’s obvious you don’t love us, and it’s even more obvious that you hate us, You prove your disgust for us with all the terrible things you are consistently doing to us. But we are going to keep loving you no matter what, and we will stay in your life till you change. Even though you’ve made it clear you have no desire to change.” What is their motivation to change? They have everything they from you already.
@@rolandoscar1696 I don’t think they do it to show their “empathy” as much as they want the “empathy” to distract from seeing who they really are. Just my opinion.
Number one thing that sets off a narcissistic person, THE TRUTH. Number 2, telling them they're LAZY!! Number 3, giving them the title, MANIPULATER.....
So I have been living with a narc that fits all these categories. I have been married to him for 30 years and have just figured out in the last two that it is not me that is crazy. I have learned to deal with it better on a day-to-day basis, but still I don’t want to continue on with the way he acts and manipulates me. I am too far into the relationship financially and I am not a young person that can start over again. I feel so conflicted about staying or not staying.
You got it. I breathe wrong. LoL sad, but true. I didn't look at him enough, I was always overreacting, I never listened, I always took things the wrong way. . . Smh. Once he asked if I think he would be a famous comedian. I answered truthfully- I said he was pretty funny, but not on a world wide famous level, but I could see him being famous in and around California, the west coast. Smh. All of my opinions were usually wrong anyway. Smh. He got pissed, and my punishment for that answer was him ending our "date" early, then silent treatment. LoL not funny then- but funny now. Comedian. Guess he was somewhat right about that.
Yes, I was scolded for breathing too loud. For blinking too hard... it sounds made up but it's not. I already had signs of BPD in my childhood because of Trauma. And she knew, I was the perfect scapegoat. When I try to talk about it in therapy now I get that look. Like what I'm saying is exaggerated because how else could it be when someone has BPD.
@@jbrown2908 it took me a long time to realize that the truth I was defending was irrelevant to her. She knew I wasn’t a terrible person. But she loved seeing me lose my mind explaining that I wasn’t. Lol
Hey Danish! Your videos have been really helpful. Would you please make a video on how narcissist uses financial instability or debt or loans as a reason to avoid being held accountable or giving commitments. I would love to know your insights on this
My father often got upset for me "talking like a professor". I´m autistic, i like reading, thus i have big vocabulary and can use many words, people don´t understand, without ever realizing i´m doing it. Or he got upset by me drinking watter - i can´t drink water smoothly, i´m gulping loudly. What sets all of them off the quickest, is saying them "no", when they want something. And it doesn´t matter, how insignificant it is. The 2nd point about words reminds me of all the social justice warriors on social networks, who fight anyone trying to use certain words. Even big corporations are trying their best to walk on eggshells around them, but it´s never enough. And never will be. Political correctness, anyone?
@@RedRose01289 I know, but I got no place to run. That maniac lives only 8 minutes from where I live. After two months not seeing him, he was in our local store a few days ago and hit me to the floor. It's on camera but in my country we have shit rules, so he is more protected than the victim 🤬 You would say move...I know but in my country your on a list for more than 6 years, but there are no houses anymore. And when I go the police he will find me again...that means I'm stuck.
I agree that these happen like you describe, but I don’t agree with WHY they happen. Narcissists don’t get randomly triggered by these things. They don’t rage because they think someone is being disobedient in the tone of their voice. They behave this way for power and control. When you walk on eggshells and stutter and get nervous. That behavior tells the narc he can do whatever he wants. They rage because they know who they can rage at. They criticize and blame because they know who will react. A narcissist favorite supply is when they can effect you anytime, anyplace. When they attack someone for made up offenses they are sending a message. The message ISN’T that they are triggered by those things. The message is they can control and dominate you for almost NO REASON. They can upset you and negatively effect you for almost NO REASON. They can’t treat everyone like that, because most people would not let them. Does the narcissist get triggered at work and rage against some random person? No! Does a narcissist get triggered by their boss when asked to do something at work?? NOPE!!! If someone at a restaurant came to you and said your meal disrespected them. Are you going to get defensive? Are you going to react to that person by over explaining your meal, are you going to apologize to this random person and hang your head in shame?? No Maybe it would be beneficial to try and help victims understand that it’s our reaction to the narcissist that gives them the supply and attention they seek.
I agree with you, however, I also believe that many narcs live on the edge of their nerves and they simply can be triggered by anything during the day and then they bring that home and attack you. But for sure, they do appear to have some control of their tempers and words, if you consider how they behave towards a new supply during the love bombing stage (often when they are still married to you and then they come home and let loose on you) or towards people in the community they need to have a good opinion of them to maintain the facade.
Depends what 'triggered' means. I'd say that 'triggered' would include an idea that they can upset and negatively effect and control and dominate you for 'no reason'... Sounds triggered to me. Your opinion about it attempts to explain why or how they are triggered...but you don't hold the only opinion out there. And someone can get triggered without necessarily acting on their rage at that exact moment.
Houseboat. That’s a word I’m not allowed to say. I’m accused of having said Houseboat when in fact I was talking to my cat. “What?! I heard you in hear say something about my houseboat!” Why? Because he took out a $30,000 loan and bought himself a houseboat and we owe $29,000 in back taxes and two months behind on the house payment so I’m getting punished
I have a narcissist neighbor who's is after me and my daughter if my daughter comes home from school 2:30 when they see we the round to wet plant if my daughter takes lessons and comes 5:00 pm then the going and want to wet plant which we not home the not wetting plant the wait to see we in the morning and doing if the didn't see and the wet plant by force with out seeing I would start feeling a pain in my hand when I looked around I see the wetting plant
In my experience they will take things, and then when you confront them about it they gaslight you saying that you must have misplaced it or it'll show up.
My Dad Captured me in House 🏠 for 18 Year's. He Earn nothing, Abuse Always, After my Mom Death in 2011. I fight with him & beat him. After he got a High Heart Pressure 🤣. And Go to Doctor Check-up. He is Loosing His Controls. He is Child Inside the Body. When I Roar in Front of him, He Started to Fear. I've a 18 year's of Angry Ness.
Telling him you’re pregnant and then the mask falls off and he turns out to be a monster when he seemed nice at the time. Then he rages at you for 2 months straight to have a termination , which he refuses to pay for because he accuses you of “sleeping around because he doesn’t know if “the shit is his or not”.
Why on earth would anyone in his/her sane mind even think the word torture, or revenge, or payback, or hitting back, to a human soul essentially frozen and stuck at child level - filled to the brim with trauma? Sometimes watching these videos leave me way more sad and nauseaus by the very content and the comments. Do what you have to do to avoid harms way, but do it honorable and seek the healing you need afterwards, but don't become the very thing that hurt you.
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You nailed it Danish. Fortunately, my ex didn't blow up. He did critize everything. He was able to enlist other people to his way of thinking. Fortunately, my friends were loyal to me. One told me that when he tried to get their help, they told him that that they are my friends not his so they didn't want anything to do with him.
I truly believe that a narcissist can make another person insane.
Actually, just the fact that you are alive "infuriates" your Narc!
@@ichwerdegelesen Please free yourself , be silent and purposeful for yourself. Good Wishes from Ireland.
That’s got to be the most truthful answer to this question … like ever ! 😂
@@jbrown2908 Absolutely! Been there ~ am here!
@@lindahaggard6416 okay! Whatever.
Absolutely 👍🍀
Here are my seven I've found...
1) giving them criticism... No matter how small or even when it's beneficial to tell them.
2) not making them center of attention.
3) making any kind of joke about them.
4) not caring about what they have to say.
5) not doing what they want, even if it's dangerous or counter productive.
6) not agreeing with anything they say ... No matter how small the disagreement.
7) not showing any emotional response when they walk past you.
And a bonus number 8...
8) having a nice conversation with someone else who isn't them... They really give me the evil look.
Someone related to them (e.g. their grown children) having a wholesome, healthy relationship with someone else.
You sound like a narc yourself fr
not giving sympathy when they get themselves in a bad situation and take ZERO responsibility for it
Not giving them sufficient attention, because you're happily doing your hobby.
Very true
The more birthdays an empath/non-narc celebrates - the longer they are on Earth - a narc takes it as a reminder of their "failure" to have taken them down.
It makes me deeply sad that I became incredibly accustomed to this insidious abuse and that I called it normal. The years lost because of believing *I* was the crazy one. I am just glad I haven't lived under his roof for the last 8 years. Healing is possible, but scars remain. Thank you SO much, Danish, for your illuminating work.
OMG, I loved the part of breathing wrong and the TONE of your voice makes them go into victim mode and them wanting to start an argument. This is one of the BEST videos out there on people that have NPD. I never knew that the TONE of my voice when I was talking to my EX, I mean the NPD person (ha ha) would set him off and he would take it personally even if we were talking about the weather!!!
Me too. It was always that I used the wrong word or my tone of voice. I once said perhaps it's just YOUR perception that causes you offense. Oh that explosion was amazing.
I Love that last part!! which is most important & should be BOLDLY stated along with the word anytime a
Narcassist is mentioned. Many people take them lightly. They think it's as simple as a narc looking in the mirror-thinking their cute. They have no idea,how SERIOUSLY dangerous they are,until the word DANGEROUS is attached.👍
This is so true. I once asked my ex narc to put some potatoes in the fridge. Dude lost his mind! Exactly like you're saying "You can't push me around, you don't respect my time, I'm not your servant!" Like dude... I've got snow all over my shoes, I'm on my way to taking the dog out, why can't you just...? Or one time I asked him to leave the bedroom door open, and he started hitting furtiture screaming. And I was like... How am I going to have a life with this person? If I can't ask for simple favors around the house? How would we ever have a child if he throws a tantrum if I ask him to change a diaper? It was a huge reason why I left!
He also controlled my way of speaking, I had to say "It would be great if...", I could never say "Can you do this or that" as he found it rude. I could never sound demanding at all. It all was so crazy.
Wow, I needed to hear this. Was having one of those doubting myself moments, maybe I was imagining that my narc did all these things, maybe I am the horrible one, maybe my exceptions are just too high etc etc and then everything you said, Danish, even the first minute reminded me that everything you have said here is true...even my breathing bothers him, my very presence in the room, I can say something 'normal' like 'I need to get some more butter' is enough to open the door of his kitchen sinking ranting and verbal attacks, I literally walk on egg shells, I hardly speak these days, but when I do, it's apparently unbearable and intolerable for him. He is such a victim!
thank you Agsin Danish . the first thing i learned about being abused was…. i read that one of the symptoms of abuse is you cannot trust your feelings 😮. i’m considering a divorce and i can’t trust my feelings??? i was talking about that at a AlAnon meeting and a girl spoke up and said .. your feelings are solid. it’s just that they have been messed with and twisted around for so long you start to believe it 😳 Wow !! spot on . trust your gut feelings. they are probably true .. thank you and Here’s to a good 2023🙏🏼
I experieced this even with my own family even before meeting the narcissist. The sad part is I looked for people who treated me the same way because that's what I saw as normal. After watching videos on narcisism I have learned so much and I realize that I am an empath and have let people abuse me and manipulate me. I don't trust anyone and have become a hermit.
@@SuperGringo71 sorry to hear that Dave . never give up hope . you never know what tomorrow may bring 🙏🏼
@@SuperGringo71 i was so lucky . at my lowest point i see a lady on facebook that i have known since we were 5 years old. a lady that has Always been good to me . and she is a widow of 11 years . well you can guess the rest. i never saw it coming.. but here i am 😊 yeah . you never know what tomorrow can bring . i wish you well
after decades of abuse and all that goes with it . the only way i could have even a appearance of peace was … blind compliance 😔 and that is no way to live . thank you one more time for bringing all this stuff to our attention.. 👍🏼
@@jbrown2908 Amen Brother 👍🏼
@@jbrown2908 opps sorry 🤷🏼♂️
Danish, your channel is helping me so much. It has great and compact content, and particularly, your voice is warm, calm and soothing, you sound like you're talking to me personally, as an old friend. There must be a great human being behind it. Furthermore, you are not just providing facts about these individuals, you explain to victims the dynamics to understand what's going on. Love from an empath.
I couldn't agree more! I'm a retired physician, and after a lifetime of growing, healing, and learning, I still find it very soothing and helpful to listen to you explain the dynamics of being raised by narcissists. I sincerely appreciate you and thank you! 🙏💝💠
As an example, I made a decision to visit my elderly father quarterly. I intentionally used the simplest vocabulary possible due to my interaction with a diverse population in my profession. While speaking to my father, I corrected myself and replaced a "college word" with a simpler word, triggering rage and verbal abuse from my father because he thought I was insulting his intelligence. Anything, no matter how innocent, can trigger them. Thanks again. 🙏💝🕊️
@@cynthiae6230 Imaginary insults trigger narcs like anything.
Yes, I've heard my father plenty of times saying to my mother: 'Am I your slave? Don't make my schedule! What do you still want from me?!', when he was doing the minimum work around the house. I think this is a way to make you to not have needs, to count only on yourself, instead of asking him and turning everything into a fight and a half a*sed job. Now I can do some man work, if it doesn't require too much force but I've realized I want a helpful partner, because I'm tired of handling all kinds of stuff by myself just because I know and can.
Over the phone I told my ex narc in a calm voice his continuous Karen behavior is why his sister and brother wont have anything to do with him and he flipped out. No phone calls since, no more being used as an emotion doormat. Peaceful not having that crazy contacting me any more.
My sister was with a narcissist. They were on vacation enjoying a beautiful relaxing morning. He picked a fight with her about the direction she was stirring her coffee. No answer she gave satisfied him, and with each answer, he intensified the fight. It blew up into a two hour fight that left her in tears.
They're extremely jealous of every single thing in your life. Even if they have everything a person could ever want or need...it's never enough for them. They want what you have. They're also jealous of your relationships. They CANNOT stand to see other people be happy around you.
Thank you so much. I have been married to a narcissist for 26 years. I am on anti depressants. Everything you said I have been through. It is very difficult to stay strong sometimes.
You are enough. You will overcome. Horrible people are horrible and I hope you have a contented and prosperous life with out them as soon as possible.
@@triple999fruitful unfortunately I am in a situation where I cannot leave. I still love him even though he treats me the way he does. Sometimes I think he's like a jekyll and Hyde
@@rowenawillis5850 a person who treats you badly doesn't even love themselves.
You can't do anything about their own inner work.
You can do the work on yourself. Look into codependency and bit by bit it becomes clearer how you are responsible for your own life. You don't owe anyone anything over their rubbish, and you certainly don't need to sacrifice your life for their self pity and self loathing.
You deserve you. When you are you the abuse will be less of a glue and more of a motivation to be yourself. Free. Strong. Healthy.
Everything sets them off they have no limits.
Excellent video, the comparison sensitivity and difference of opinions especially speak to me. I find it hilarious how rigid/black and white narcissists are. they'll say they want to talk things out, then shun you for expressing what is simply a difference of opinion. Keep up the awesome work.
This was so exhausting by avoiding them in the same household!! I couldn’t believe I survive!! Thought my ex mil was toxic, after a sudden discard, found out my ex husband was covert narc and mil was overt! OMG!! I should have done my research years ago!! I just didn’t understand why I treated them so nice but was always not appreciated back then.
I cannot begin to describe the way you've helped me... literally saved me🙏
They hate how you breathe that’s a good one
Another masterpiece delivered by Danish. This video is so much relatable. I still remember when we have differences of opinion which is quite natural in any normal relationship, I often used to get criticized and devalued by him as someone who is " anti him". As aptly mentioned by you, it was always either in black( Anti him) or in white ( Pro him). Thanks again for your through insight on the topic. ❤️👍
Thank you. I have gone through all the situations you have explained in this video. Your talk is so eye opening.
This literally happened to me he was talking and I didn't hear him so I said what? and he said wtf is wrong with you watch how you talk to me..I was like huh wtf just happened and he was mad all day about it and then started another pointless argument 🤣
Another home run by Danish Bashir. Thank you!
Your lessons are easy to understand when we corelate the things with our own experiences.
They are so high maintenance in every way. That's no relationship, that's hell...
Mr. Bashir, can you talk about two situations with the Narcs, pls: 1) Why the love going to funerals even to people they don´t know. They love giving condolences and going to this kind of events...2) And, why the dress like a doll, they wear weird fashions, sometimes expensive, but look like Doll Dresses, jazzy, over-the-top, out of context, like Disney Princesses.
Others people's grief is fuel to them and it gives them the chance to look very empathetic and good hearted people.
The doll dresses: call attention.
I agree with Christina. They are showing they are indeed empathic, and you better believe it. As long as they have people seeing them do it. I think the term is Communal narcissists.
They also love giving to charity, but only when it gives them publicity. "See? I'm such a Mr. Nice Guy."
As for the outward appearances, well, that's to compensate for the hollow shell within. They like to think you CAN judge a book by its cover.
They love everything about your 2 detailed questions thats for sure. A narcissist has no self. So they have to be regulated by attention. Good, bad it doesn’t matter.
If you have a narc in your life and you said to them…”can we talk about these 10 things you did to me last week and how they made me feel?”You just gave them enough supply to last a month. They own you. They control you. It doesn’t matter how they got that control. They did or said 10 negative things to you that impact you greatly. Not only did those 10 things hurt you, you are still here? Cuz I’m goin to hurt you again while we talk about those 10 things. And you are just going to take it.
If narcs were going to change they would have already. Think about the power play that gives them. They don’t love you, they treat you terrible, and the response they get from us is basically “
“we love you Mr Narc. It’s obvious you don’t love us, and it’s even more obvious that you hate us, You prove your disgust for us with all the terrible things you are consistently doing to us. But we are going to keep loving you no matter what, and we will stay in your life till you change. Even though you’ve made it clear you have no desire to change.”
What is their motivation to change? They have everything they from you already.
@@rolandoscar1696 I don’t think they do it to show their “empathy” as much as they want the “empathy” to distract from seeing who they really are. Just my opinion.
@@DrPhilGoode Could be. It's all for show, anyway.
Thank you for this message!
Thank you this is exactly what I needed to hear I love you Danish, many thanks 🙏
OMG, mine lost it when we argued about women needing to have their own money. He can’t accept the nuances of life.
Number one thing that sets off a narcissistic person, THE TRUTH. Number 2, telling them they're LAZY!! Number 3, giving them the title, MANIPULATER.....
So I have been living with a narc that fits all these categories. I have been married to him for 30 years and have just figured out in the last two that it is not me that is crazy. I have learned to deal with it better on a day-to-day basis, but still I don’t want to continue on with the way he acts and manipulates me. I am too far into the relationship financially and I am not a young person that can start over again. I feel so conflicted about staying or not staying.
You got it. I breathe wrong. LoL sad, but true. I didn't look at him enough, I was always overreacting, I never listened, I always took things the wrong way. . . Smh. Once he asked if I think he would be a famous comedian. I answered truthfully- I said he was pretty funny, but not on a world wide famous level, but I could see him being famous in and around California, the west coast. Smh. All of my opinions were usually wrong anyway. Smh. He got pissed, and my punishment for that answer was him ending our "date" early, then silent treatment. LoL not funny then- but funny now. Comedian. Guess he was somewhat right about that.
Yes, I was scolded for breathing too loud. For blinking too hard... it sounds made up but it's not. I already had signs of BPD in my childhood because of Trauma. And she knew, I was the perfect scapegoat. When I try to talk about it in therapy now I get that look. Like what I'm saying is exaggerated because how else could it be when someone has BPD.
He always said I had an attitude if I spoke in less than a congenial way🤮🤮🤮
What if he said it sickens him to see your face? Would that bother you? That’s what he is counting on. If you didn’t care, he wouldn’t say it.
@@jbrown2908 it took me a long time to realize that the truth I was defending was irrelevant to her. She knew I wasn’t a terrible person. But she loved seeing me lose my mind explaining that I wasn’t. Lol
the accuracy of this ..... all true
Hey Danish! Your videos have been really helpful. Would you please make a video on how narcissist uses financial instability or debt or loans as a reason to avoid being held accountable or giving commitments. I would love to know your insights on this
My father often got upset for me "talking like a professor". I´m autistic, i like reading, thus i have big vocabulary and can use many words, people don´t understand, without ever realizing i´m doing it.
Or he got upset by me drinking watter - i can´t drink water smoothly, i´m gulping loudly.
What sets all of them off the quickest, is saying them "no", when they want something. And it doesn´t matter, how insignificant it is.
The 2nd point about words reminds me of all the social justice warriors on social networks, who fight anyone trying to use certain words. Even big corporations are trying their best to walk on eggshells around them, but it´s never enough. And never will be.
Political correctness, anyone?
Thank you, so true
Very good analysis. True and correct!
Very helpful and informative thanks🙏🙏
spot on, word by word!
Exactly all of this...and what if they become violent?
@@RedRose01289 I know, but I got no place to run. That maniac lives only 8 minutes from where I live. After two months not seeing him, he was in our local store a few days ago and hit me to the floor. It's on camera but in my country we have shit rules, so he is more protected than the victim 🤬 You would say move...I know but in my country your on a list for more than 6 years, but there are no houses anymore. And when I go the police he will find me again...that means I'm stuck.
Could you tell me how does God judge these people who cause so much trouble to other people they are bully's thanks for video
Thanks, Danish. 👍🏼
Very insightful.
My dad does most of your points. Such that when he complained that he's starved of conversation, l said, "No shit, Sherlock."
I agree that these happen like you describe, but I don’t agree with WHY they happen. Narcissists don’t get randomly triggered by these things. They don’t rage because they think someone is being disobedient in the tone of their voice. They behave this way for power and control. When you walk on eggshells and stutter and get nervous. That behavior tells the narc he can do whatever he wants.
They rage because they know who they can rage at. They criticize and blame because they know who will react. A narcissist favorite supply is when they can effect you anytime, anyplace. When they attack someone for made up offenses they are sending a message. The message ISN’T that they are triggered by those things. The message is they can control and dominate you for almost NO REASON. They can upset you and negatively effect you for almost NO REASON.
They can’t treat everyone like that, because most people would not let them. Does the narcissist get triggered at work and rage against some random person? No! Does a narcissist get triggered by their boss when asked to do something at work?? NOPE!!! If someone at a restaurant came to you and said your meal disrespected them. Are you going to get defensive? Are you going to react to that person by over explaining your meal, are you going to apologize to this random person and hang your head in shame?? No
Maybe it would be beneficial to try and help victims understand that it’s our reaction to the narcissist that gives them the supply and attention they seek.
I agree with you, however, I also believe that many narcs live on the edge of their nerves and they simply can be triggered by anything during the day and then they bring that home and attack you. But for sure, they do appear to have some control of their tempers and words, if you consider how they behave towards a new supply during the love bombing stage (often when they are still married to you and then they come home and let loose on you) or towards people in the community they need to have a good opinion of them to maintain the facade.
@@RedRose01289 Your absolutely right. And I shouldn’t have acted like it never happens.
@@TheSeekeroftruth1 they do. Your right.
Depends what 'triggered' means. I'd say that 'triggered' would include an idea that they can upset and negatively effect and control and dominate you for 'no reason'... Sounds triggered to me. Your opinion about it attempts to explain why or how they are triggered...but you don't hold the only opinion out there. And someone can get triggered without necessarily acting on their rage at that exact moment.
Hi there! Do you offer online therapy?
Just Omgg every word true dealing with this c now !!!!! Unrealll
Houseboat. That’s a word I’m not allowed to say. I’m accused of having said Houseboat when in fact I was talking to my cat.
“What?! I heard you in hear say something about my houseboat!”
Why? Because he took out a $30,000 loan and bought himself a houseboat and we owe $29,000 in back taxes and two months behind on the house payment so I’m getting punished
I have a narcissist neighbor who's is after me and my daughter if my daughter comes home from school 2:30 when they see we the round to wet plant if my daughter takes lessons and comes 5:00 pm then the going and want to wet plant which we not home the not wetting plant the wait to see we in the morning and doing if the didn't see and the wet plant by force with out seeing I would start feeling a pain in my hand when I looked around I see the wetting plant
Text book case
Can a Narc be trusted in other matters, like taking things…..
In my experience they will take things, and then when you confront them about it they gaslight you saying that you must have misplaced it or it'll show up.
My Dad Captured me in House 🏠 for 18 Year's. He Earn nothing, Abuse Always, After my Mom Death in 2011.
I fight with him & beat him. After he got a High Heart Pressure 🤣. And Go to Doctor Check-up.
He is Loosing His Controls.
He is Child Inside the Body.
When I Roar in Front of him, He Started to Fear. I've a 18 year's of Angry Ness.
My soon ex husband loves the silent treatment. I had no idea what was happening when he did this
Telling him you’re pregnant and then the mask falls off and he turns out to be a monster when he seemed nice at the time. Then he rages at you for 2 months straight to have a termination , which he refuses to pay for because he accuses you of “sleeping around because he doesn’t know if “the shit is his or not”.
Ah, so sorry. I pray you can be strong and get away!
if i could give more than thousand thumbs up i would do that
In my experience, the narc was "set off " by anything and everything...
I Tweeted.
Thankyou Danish 🇦🇺💗🇦🇺💗🇦🇺💗🇦🇺💗🇦🇺💗🇦🇺💗🇦🇺
Why on earth would anyone in his/her sane mind even think the word torture, or revenge, or payback, or hitting back, to a human soul essentially frozen and stuck at child level - filled to the brim with trauma?
Sometimes watching these videos leave me way more sad and nauseaus by the very content and the comments.
Do what you have to do to avoid harms way, but do it honorable and seek the healing you need afterwards, but don't become the very thing that hurt you.
They literaly hate you to death.
Isn't it interesting
❤
You are breathing incorrectly 😂😂😂who died and appointed them God.
I really sometimes wish I could slap the psychotic narc boss I work with.