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Why I Never Married or Had Children
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2023
- Fulfillment doesn’t necessarily come from living the life that was modeled for us or having money, a great career, or a husband and kids.
We all want to live for what’s important to us and feel capable of achieving the goals or dreams that call forth our true selves. We hope to become the person we were meant to be. We long for more peace and joy in our daily lives and to feel free enough to change, grow, and redefine ourselves as we go.
To create a more fulfilling life, you must acknowledge what is true for you and give yourself permission to want what you want, because you want it. Time moves like rushing elk and we are privileged to have this life for a finite time, so check-in with yourself today, and answer these questions: How do you want to feel about your Self as you navigate your life? What is calling you? What choices honor your sense of purpose?
Avoid beating yourself up, if your life has yet to align with your answers to those questions. If you lean into the desire to create the life you want, you’ll start waking up with a mission that pulls you forward with more joy in your heart.
#beinspired #mentaldiscipline #mindsetshift #marriageadvice
At 51 years old, I've never married or had children. My singleness and childlessness stem from various factors: I haven't found suitable partners, I believe God hasn't led me to a spouse and motherhood, and I'm clear on my personal purpose as a woman. I don't lament not having children; I simply don't possess the time or patience required to dedicate to parenting. If you share this choice, know you're not alone.
Congrats. It's a life of PEACE ❤️
You look like that at 51! Wow you look GREAT!
I love this and as a parent and wife. I truly understand now that my kids are grown I enjoy the freedom I have. If I had known this is how it would be I'm not sure I would have had children. Being a parent is a life long responsibility and it's difficult and emotional and all the things good and bad. I just don't think I would have been any less fulfilled had I not had children. 🤷🏾♀️
I'm 40, im okay with my daughter, i don't intend to have other kids nor get marriage
Yes lady!!! Yes!!!! I have not gotten married or had kids!! At least I am honest!! I don't have the patience and time you MUST HAVE if you desire to go down the road of motherhood or fatherhood!!!! I knew yes KNEW way back in high school that these two choices were NOT for me. I have been on some dates over the past few years and I think the women get disturbed or whatever with me when I state on the first date that marriage IS NOT in the cards for me and no way ho zay am I EVER thinking about kids!!!! So yes still single!!!! No girlfriend either!!! I am VERY happy!!! I love the peace and quiet!! I don't have any stress!!! My parents don't understand my decision but they will get used to it.
I’m 63. Never married or had children. I was a caregiver for my elderly parents and my grandmother first 17 years until their deaths. Went to college, grad school, law school, and seminary. Studied abroad. Have had loving relationships. Love God the most. No regrets. ❤
People sometimes forget that marriage is not for everybody & it’s okay not be married. Being single is NOT a disease but contagious🙏🏾🙏🏾
I'm 68 years young, never been married, no children. I keep myself in good shape and I eat healthy. I'm just fine, not as a choice but I'm certainly not desperate just to say I'm married or was once married and divorced. You can be a whole person as a single.
Every little girl doesn’t want to have kids; we’re told to have kids
And we're told something is wrong with us if we dont. Lies people tell!
This little girl grew up to be 43 and still no kids! 😆
@sabrinasown you speak all FACTS! 🎯
@@DustySoulLtd exactly! 🎯
Because YOU don't want it. "NUFF SAID.
And I'm one of them
Speaking for myself, I DO want it.
I am 52 and child/husband free and that is the best decision for me❤ Not everyone should be married or have kids
Totally agreed.
Exactly! I’m 61 no kids and never been married and no desire to because ITS NOT MY CALLING. I’m happy and content with that 😊
Words of a foolish woman
@@daughterofzion14only a sick psychopath would get upset about a woman just freely, living her life on her own terms. I see why u worship a psychotic god.
I’ve noticed that the men in the comments all seem to think she is a failure for not marrying. I applaud her for standing in her choice and power. Marriage is for men. The bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing it says nothing about what the woman gets. Statistically married men are happier than their unmarried counterparts and live longer but married woman experience the opposite they have shorter lives than their unmarried counterparts and are less happy. To each his own is what I say.
Same here, I recently turned 40. I’m not married and I don’t have kids. I have nieces and nephews who I love dearly. And I spend a great deal of time with them. And I am fine with being the cool, unmarried, fun loving Auntie 😊
I am turning 40 this year and i dont have kids nor am i married and for a long time I thought i wanted that ..... but i am starting to realize maybe that isnt for me and I can live a perfectly happy life without what society expects from me as a women.
I'm almost 40 with nieces and nephews and happy to be childfree! However, I'm gonna be honest and say I don't even enjoy the aunt role. I just like being free with NO responsibility.
Yes I have two nieces and yes two grand nieces. And I too am cool with being the "unmarried, no kids uncle." And I don't feel foolish or LESS THAN because I'm STILL SINGLE either. Yes you GOT TO live your life. We can't live according to society or even our parents wishes. This is YOUR LIFE!! And yes I'm content.
Being an aunty is EVERYTHING! ❤❤❤
Well I just turned 50 and I have never been married or have children, now I'm not opposed to getting married but I will not settle. And like Tina I've always known that having children wasn't for me. I'm an only child and my cousin and best friend have children and they are my nieces and nephews and that is enough for me.😊
It is so important to have elders who give us an example of living on your own terms. You give permission to be true to oneself, and that is powerful. Thank you for being visible.
I’m loving 🥰 your answer… thank you 🙏🏾
What if she is 32 not married but has kids? They would still say something is wrong.
Or what if she is 32 and married but no kids? They will still say something is wrong.
The bottom line is
People should leave people alone and let them live their life.
I know right .. thanks for sharing this with us mama
@@talltallladyYAS MA'AM!! 🤗
I am all for accepting one's reality and being okay with it!! It's not healthy to base ones worth on someone else's ideas, ideals or expectations - why? Because we are all different. Those differences are what makes the world go round, if we were all the same well, that would be boring. I think whats more valuable is to EMBRACE differences! Hold on tight, swing, dig, glide, explore! Fake it, shake it, bake it....MAKE IT!❤ Whatever the case, just be okay with YOUR happy place.
I'm 62 And I never had kids and never been married. But I have five beautiful nieces.
Stop living vicariously through your siblings
Good for you. I’m 36 and I have 12. I never wanted kids. Don’t have the time or energy.
I respect someone who knows they don't want children and don't have them. I think this is why some people mistreat children, because they never wanted them.
Many, many, many people don't like children... They'll never admit it openly.
I’m very introverted. Kids and a man would mess up my peace.
I’m 54 and have never been married or had kids. As with many, there are many reasons and I believe it’s not my calling.
I feel ya! I'm 50 and realize that it's not mine either and I truly feel that I'm called to be just who I am ❤️
Same! Life’s great 😊
@@artistqueen73 Me too!! sister. I'm also 50 years old. I want to live life on my own terms.
I have always believed that people who don’t want to children should never have them.
I have always wanted to be married and have children since I was six years old. Most of the women in my family were single mothers. My mom has 5 children, and we all have different fathers. I knew as a little girl, I did not want that kind of life. I longed to have a mom and dad at home when I was a little girl.
All of my best friends had a mom and dad at home, and their parents stayed married. Those were my examples.
I've been married for 27 years and we have 2 children. I love being married and my family. It's what I've dreamed of since being a little girl.
Oh, I just loved this. I had a baby at 16 and married her father at 19, we went on to have two more children (our second daughter died as an infant) put them through college, and then, I did me. I love to travel, road trips, and my husband does not but that didn't stop me from following what God has placed inside me. I desired to see all fifty states, and I have visited 42 and will be DRIVING from Texas all the way to Alaska next year, the longest I have traveled alone thus far. I have visited five countries, my most memorable, SOUTH AFRICA! I have published two books and working on book number three. I went back to school at the age of 50 and earned three degrees, one, a Master's in Healthcare Management and I can say, I am happy with the choices I made in life, I do what makes ME happy, I love marriage and having babies, (but God only gave us three) God has been so merciful and gracious to me. I am disabled and have stared death in the face at least three times and I am still here. God bless everyone, follow your dreams, live your life and not through the eyes of another, "Reach beyond your possibilities, then find yourself there!"
Wow! Amazing! I love your zest for life and that you don’t allow anyone to hold you back! Very inspiring!
People judge me for not having children but I always knew in my spirit, I was never meant to have them.
The dysfunction in my family solidified this choice.
God is with me and he knows.
Likewise
4/8/2024
I am 51 as well. Never married, no children. Was raised in a two parent home. Honestly, in recalling my younger years, i.e. 20 yrs old, 25 yrs old, 35 yrs old, etc. I did not think that I would be unmarried and childless at 51 yrs old. I am not depressed or distressed about it, I just didn't envision it. Like the previous sister commented, there are multiple reasons why and I'm not nursing regret, just the occasional disappointment and desire for spousal companionship. I am remaining diligent in God's purpose for my life and recognizing the value in who I am. Self-love is paramount!!
I am happy that you made the best decision for you. People act like being married and having children is the be all end all. I’m married and I definitely don’t feel that way. Also, people having children because they want someone to take care of them when they are old is exploitative and predatory. Future planning should not be solely thrown onto children who didn’t ask to be here. It’s lazy.
45 yo single and Childfree …. I love my life it’s not for everyone
I remember being five years old and saying I didn’t want children. I wanted to be a “career woman”. I’m 44 and single and childfree. I don’t have a desire to be partnered with anyone.
I have been married to a wonderful man for almost 16 years, and we have three beautiful children. I wouldn’t change a thing about my life, but marriage and parenting take a lot of work, so if they are not a person’s desires, it is okay for that person to avoid them. It is better to remain single and childfree than to be or experience a bad spouse or not do due diligence to children.
U could of done a lot of work on your goals and yourself instead of a false nuclear family which’s sinking.
I'll be 52 this year and have never married or had children. I LOVE the life I chose! So happy to see this sentiment finally coming into the light of day!
Have you laid with a man before tho?
@jairusbryant3229 that's none of your business.
I said the same thing when I was 10 years old. Now at 61yrs old it was the best decision for me. I do not regret it at all. I like simplicity and having a family ain't simple at all.
I’m 43. I made the decision at a very young age also to not want/have kids. To date, I’ve never regretted that decision. My dog of 18 years (I got him when he was 8 months old) passed away 9/30/23. He was all the “kid” I’ll ever need. I enjoyed my life with him.
Yes - I actually did want marriage and children and ended up single with no kids. Now in my late 40s I realize it was probably for the best. I love the freedom of being single and also I think children are a huge blessing, but also a major responsibility. So I’m good and I love seeing myself in other women who are along a similar path. I still have a beautiful, full life that I love ♥️ We are living on our own terms 😊
Motherhood should always be an option and not a must. I brought 2 children into horrible situations because I thought I needed to have them by any means necessary. I’m glad they exist but I now know that I could have had a beautiful, fulfilling life without having kids just to say I have some. And kids are not an old age insurance policy either. You can have a dozen kids and still languish in your elder years alone. I’m grateful for how well mine turned out but neither of them are eager to have kids and I don’t blame them.
You’re still a whole person without a husband or kids. I think you’re fabulous 😊
Another black person trying to normalize their own dysfunction.
@@tanishawilliams575 You're the dysfunctional one if you think every woman especially bw is supposed to be married.Bw are too obsessed with marriage to bm. When bm are not. They know they can be string bw a long and even cheat because bw are marriage obsessed. And they don't value marriage like bw do.Look at the divorced rates. The compatibility is not there. And not every woman is mentally stable enough to be having kids.
I feel that each and every person should do what is right for their life. Be a decent human being that's actually what the world needs.
God has a plan for all of us. What people fail to recognize is that not everyone has the same plan. There are too many people now who probably never should have had children and/or gotten married. Marriage and children are not requirements for a fruitful life.
AMEN! 💯
That is not true. God definitely had a plan and has a plan for his people….That is why he created us make and female. I can’t speak for the world. But as a disciple of Christ, we are told to be fruitful and multiply. We are also instructed not to live in the lust of the flesh or in a life of sexual immorality. Adulterers and fornicators the Bible says he will judge; so unless One is living a life of sexual purity then this conversation is unprofitable. I have yet to see anyone address this elephant in the room. Because no one really wants to say that although they are not married and have decided not have children that the other side of that coin is that as a citizen of the Kingdom they are abstaining from sexual intercourse.
True the plan for each is different
Honestly In very few situations does it behoove a woman to get married. Marriage benefits men. If a woman can live in a supportive community and safe geographical place she’s better off not marrying especially if she’s educated and can earn a livable wage with access to healthcare.
How does marriage benefit the men because women want marriage more than men? Men are supposed to be head of the house within a marriage, but things have changed because women are more likely to seek a divorce and there is nothing men can do about it. I give women credit who have been married for over ten years because they smart enough to know they get half of everything pertaining to their marriage.
Thank you for speaking to this truth. Women and men need to know that marriage is another blessed bonus to life, not the ultimate destination.
I was thrilled when I saw this video on my timeline. I'm 41, never married and I also don't have any kids either. I'm literally in the middle of writing a book on singlehood. Im living my life like it is golden. So happy and refreshing to see other people enjoying their life. I just subscribed to your channel and can't wait to check out the rest of your videos. 😊
I have 29 yr old twins, but never married
You're not alone. I'm 52 never been married or have any children. I get asked often what's wrong witn you!! SMH
I got married and divorced, marriage was nothing but slavery. I had two sons that are grown now. At 52 I can’t be happier to be selfish and only think of ME😂🥰🤭🙌🏽💯🧚🏾♀️
My mom taught me to be careful who you have children by and I listened lol. But I did want kids desperately,but I also wanted to give them a real and healthy childhood. I came dangerously close to marrying the wrong person twice. I think I made the right decision, and the universe has sent plenty of godchildren my way lol
I’m a wife and mother, and I totally agree, understand and respect this! I applaud you for coming to this realization at such an early age! I didn’t have this epiphany until about 10 years into being a wife and mother. Here I am, 25 years in, speaking the same words to my young adult daughters. Always put yourself first!
I agree 👍🏾 completely! My daughter is 21 and she says she's not going to have children I told her I completely support her decision and have encouraged her to ONLY date men who feel the same way because love for a man can be swaying and cause regret. If she changes her mind I support that too but I wanted her to know she's not obligated and she doesn't have to feel any type of way for not wanting children.
Wow this is me. Studies show single women are the happiest till the end. Your happiness and peace radiates from you.
I’m so happy women have found fellow childfree by choice women!
🙌🏾 this video really resonates with me.💜🦋
❤same
43 years old never been married and never had kids and get asked this question all time…my answer is always-it’s just never been in God’s plan and I never question it🤷🏽♀️
Refreshing to hear this! A woman's worth is so much more than husband and children.
As a 35 year old woman whose environment conditioned me to become a parent at 14. I am desperately trying to investigate and define MY life now that my children are adults. I needed to hear this.
I never wanted to have children either. So much time and energy needed plus the amount of money you have to spend. I retired by the time I was 40.
I’m 32 no kids and not married my mother wanted me to not get married she wanted something different for me .I’m not sure where Yah is taking me but I know my destiny is profoundly different ❤🙏🏽 Yah bless everyone reading this ❤❤❤
Marriage is not for everyone and that’s ok. My older sister is in her mid-40’s, never been in a relationship, never been married and if l have to be honest, she’s the happiest of the 8 of us siblings. She’s very content & happy with the life she chose for her self.
Reason: She a staunch Christian and she believes having someone in her life will take away most of the time she has for God. It was strange at first when she said she will never get married but as time keep passing, we as a family has gotten used to it.
So all I can say is respect to you for your decision
Some get extremely triggered by women who exercise the gift of free will and choice. It's a reflection of their regrets and unhappiness.
Preach!
Thank you. Every time I see a woman on here say she is happily single you then have all of the ‘I’m I’m happily married” women defending their choice to marry and have kids and how wonderful it is. In my opinion if this is the case why the need to defend your decision which has nothing to do with what this woman is even talking about. You hit the nail on the head.
Also, a lot of them get defensive because they think you’re saying something negative about their life. But I’m always like, no, this is my decision and it has nothing to do with you. But like you said they are triggered and sometimes it’s because they are unhappy.
Preach!
I'm glad I found this video.
It confirms that I am not alone in this journey ❤
Some get very angry when a woman chooses herself.
Either because she needs to heal from trauma or because she’s selfish
@@MrWood-qd6kr men are dumb
@@MrWood-qd6kr If choosing to live my life the way that I want, and choosing NOT to live my life in perpetual servitude to a man and children that I don't want makes me selfish in your and everybody else's eyes and opinions, I'll be happily selfish all day!!! Just because I was born a female doesn't mean that I'm obligated to live my life as a man's unpaid servant, cook, available sex toy and a walking incubator and a birthing machine for children that I don't want!!! In short, I DON'T OWE ANYBODY SHIT, ESPECIALLY A SELF CENTERED AND NARCISSISTIC MAN!!! Proud as fuck to be living my life for myself and on MY own terms and nobody else's!!!
@MrWood-qd6kr
How is never marrying and having children selfish? I am asexual and aromantic. I am 53 years old. I never had the urge to pair bond or have children. I have a Single vocation, as described by Saint Paul. How am I selfish?
Yes, WHAT is that about?
Exactly I sooooo dislike that people “try” to make it seem like being a wife and mother is the end all be all for women 🙄🙄🙄💯
OK!
I love this. When I was much younger, I wanted the traditional idea of "marriage and kids" to create the family dynamic that as women we're conditioned by society to want. Fast forward many years, and my whole perspective has changed. I'm not sure marriage is in the cards for me. I wouldn't mind a supportive and loving partnership, but not at the expense of my freedom or peace of mind.
I don't think there's one way to live, nor do I think we need to push our beliefs of some contrived idea of how people should live onto others. I don't think marriage is for everyone, I don't think parenthood is for everyone, and I don't think remaining single is for everyone. I think these are all personal choices that individuals should be able to make based on what brings them joy and peace. Period. There's no one way to live a happy and fulfilling life.
I love this 💞💞!
well said !
Marriage / parenting is not for everyone.
I didn’t see the point of marriage/kids because of the environment I grew up in plus I wanted to break generational curses! When I began dating I noticed the amount of traumas/PTSD on both sides! I did a lot of work to heal myself & I have an incredible amount of peace ☮️. I gratefully enjoy my alone time so I’m not content on dealing with men who aren’t healed. Society dictates(or so it thinks) what life you should be living. I don’t follow societal norms & think it’s BS! I’m responsible for my own destiny!
@HrglassHealer 100% agree with your comment.
Same here, 50 no kids not married. I never wanted kids, I would've been married but my fiancee was killed. I'm good without both. I always said I didn't want kids or marriage at a young age, I just want the relationship as well
I have 29 yr old twins, never married
Who killed him?
@@EberechukwuIbe mistaken identity they were convicted
It feels so good to hear someone else say this especially from her generation. As a child I said the same thing and everyone around me told it was odd. I still feel the same way, I will be 40 years old next month and very happy with my life choices for all the same reasons.
I like it when you say I am not unhappy with my choices. People should stop wanting to choose for others.
Yep!!! I NEVER got married either or had kids!!! I knew this in high school! My parents were baffled too. I tell women when I do go on a date that no lady not going to have any kids . If any woman wanted to have kids that I dated they ALREADY KNEW this man is NOT GOING down that road!! So yes on dates I NEVER held back that fact!! I too ma'am I am happy!!! No child support. No unnecessary stress!!! No baby mama drama
Intelligent black man ❤
I know me. Turned down 2 proposals. At 72, I have no regrets.
Why were you dating if you never wanted to marry?
@@jairusbryant3229 In my youth I believed, blindly, as girls in those days were told, that women were destined to get married and have kids. So, I dated like everyone else did. As I grew in life experiences and came to know who I was, I realized that marriage was not my calling. I just did not have that drive for marriage that I assumed would naturally fall into place eventually. Never happened. I realized that nothing was wrong with me. I came to see that marriage was not a mandate as I had assumed as a young woman, it was just an option. I opted out. I spared myself and those men a lot of misery. I made the right decision for me.
People forget that some are called to singleness it’s very clear in the Bible. Jesus even speaks about how the single woman is better able to be devoted to the Lord and serve him than a married one because married woman have to split obligations to a husband and children. Singleness can be a gift and calling from the Lord there is nothing wrong with it at all.
Apostle Paul spoke of this in Corinthians I do believe..I maybe wrong 😊
Beautiful, Queen. And, I agree, it’s not worth being married or having kids if that’s truly not what you want.
I am 65 and can relate to this. I never married or had children. I heard the whispers behind my back, she must be a lesbian or something is wrong with her. Well neither assumption was true. Marriage and children were not in my calling, and I am perfectly happy with my life, because I am living my life on my own terms and not societies terms.
People don't want marriage but yet do things what only married people should do. Shout out to celibate men and women out there. ❤
The most Biblical and Truthful comment ever! *Fornication (sex outside of marriage) and adultery (having sex while*
*married is a SIN according to _Jesus Christ, our Creator.* Dying without truly repenting (turning away from these sins)
will cause you to end up in *Hell and ultimately *the Lake of fire!* Your not believing this doesn't make it any less true.
Not too many.
Well the Bible also says not to eat pork and shellfish yet most of the Bible thumpers love them a good seafood boil with sausage.🙄
@@monapharms8888🤣🤣🤣
@@monapharms8888they love pigs feet and all. Child. These hypocrites are NOT to be taken serious. They are walking contradictions!
I never wanted kids or that typical family life they force feed us women but not men. I ended up with five children and a 15 year marriage. We are no longer together, children are grown and living a much better way of life being single. Not saying I hated it but the commitment, sacrifices and responsibilities of taking care of other people is GRAND. And women give way more In these relationships than men; enormous obligation! I’m very grateful but I wonder what my life would look like if I had the courage to stay single and follow my aspirations . I most definitely relate . ❤️❤️❤️❤️💯💯💯💯💯
U forgot to say I could never imagine my life without my kids
People who think marriage and children are insignificant out of go to these nursing homes and see aged elderly people who have no husband and children and find out how miserable their lives ends up
@@tblk1860 I work with the elders. MOST of them have children. And they barely, sometimes never come see them. But that’s not the point. Everyone doesn’t want marriage and children; there is nothing wrong with that.
@@tblk1860research does not support what you’re saying. Most people in nursing homes HAVE children and many of those children don’t visit.
@@tblk1860 I don't care!!! I'm still happy that I chose not to get married or have children because society says so simply because I was born a female!!! I don't like children, and I don't trust or deal with men in any capacity if I don't have to!!! In fact, I hate people as a whole and I enjoy my solitude and my own company, as well as doing what I want, when I want, and without worrying about catering to anybody else, especially a self centered and narcissistic man and children that I don't want because I HATE KIDS!!! I'm good with my life as a single and childfree Black woman!!! F marriage and children, I certainly don't want or need them to have a happy and fulfilling life!!!
No kids and no husband means a life all your own and a really smart woman living a chilled lifestyle. Having a family is so over-rated, and sometimes it turns out to be a huge disappointment after you put in years and years of hard work. Many men can't stay faithful the whole marriage and have many other discontentments, or other mental issues, and some of these kids grow up to be the parents' killers these days too. Sad.
I agree. One can feel so strange as you navigate through life and those adult milestones don’t happen for you such as a family. (Even if that’s what you knew that something that you didn’t want.) because life and society already has cookie cutter set of (the American)dreams of what a happy life is for the average person. But I am learning more and more that Life and happiness is as individual as each individual.Amen!!! 😊
@@kassandra3756 I'm an elder, and I'm here to tell you the best thing you could do is march to the beat of your own drum. I have seen so many good parents have narcissistic and selfish children. I have a couple of my own. Lol Had I known all of this...and these men clown FRFR. Nowadays they think they're the prize and they can't carry nar child and bring forth life to keep the human race going. A good woman will always be the prize.. Live your best life, Beautiful, on your terms. Amen to that!
That came from your Ancestors.
I'm walk around proud of choice to be child free as well and not wanting a husband.
I found your comment about the ancestors intriguing. Can you please elaborate? I am just like Tina, with knowing that I didn't want marriage or kids my entire life. I remember tinkering with the idea when I was a kid because that was what people were expected to do in my world......graduate hs, then college, get married and have kids. I graduated from college but the thought of marriage and kids always made me feel depressed, like my life was over and the walls were closing in. The moment I gave myself permission to say that I didn't want any if that, it felt like a weight off of my shoulders.
So do think the ancestors were guiding me to my correct path? Again, please elaborate if you can on this because I am getting deeper into the spiritual side of life.
THAT PART!!!! The time you have to give & the CAPACITY in which you have to care for another human life is exhausting. While I am thankful my 21 year old was/is always well behaved & well mannered, having more children is not something I ever want to do again. I am not interested in marriage either. I know deep in my soul that it is not for me. I am also fine with not indulging in another relationship. This agenda of thinking everyone NEEDS to have a significant other is getting quite ridiculous. Once you UNDERSTAND who you are you know what’s best for you & the pressures of societal norms & standards roll right off. Thank you for sharing! 🤍✨
I recently spoke to someone who is unhappy in her marriage. She doesn't want to necessarily leave because she may not find someone else or may be dissatisfied with the next man. It's sad when a person doesn't realize that they are enough with or without a mate. This woman is beautiful and captivating, but she will never outshine her husband, which means she will continue dimming her own light, which is also quite amazing. She's just desperately lonely, even though she is married with children. What seems like a regret one day could be a blessing on another, so I believe she's fine overall.
As a child-free and spouse-free person, I've yet to have regrets because I've known since I was young that I didn't want a "normal" family life. I am just glad that everyone has the freedom to choose.
Oh my! I sincerely hope that one day she recognizes her worth to where she can free herself. While I understand that relationships/marriages will have their unhappy days, it should never be a consistent unhappiness.
I feel you! There's a fulfilling feeling when you know who you are & are secure within yourself & your decisions. Blessings to you! ♥ @@seriouslytho5783
I decided I don't want children. I am not bringing any life into this hellish world. I alone will suffer in this world and end this line.
That's excellent......My daughter said that she didn't want children.....she is 30+ now and I am absolutely fine with her decision. I am sooooooo proud of her and also you Ms. Lifford for explaining so eloquently.
I remember as a girl dreaming of getting married. Then I got into my first relationship and changed my mind real quick. Also, this notion that if a woman is over the age of 35, and isn’t married, there’s something wrong with her is hogwash. Some of the most damage people I’ve ever encountered, were married, or currently are married, and have children. Single people with no kids tend to have some sanity with in them. I also had children, my mother and my brothers, I’m retired.
I’m learning that we have values! With children or without children
43 and I am not married and childless. I wish I had children and was married to the right men. But I am lazy. 😊
Patenthood is the hardest job on earth. Especially emotionally, the stress is unexplainable. I see no problem with choosing not to be a mother, in fact I find it selfless, even though some people find it selfish.
Being happy with you and your life is always important to have. I've never been married nor have had children because of several experiences regarding my family and how much difficulty it really is. The world is not as great or big as it is nor is it nice. I will be 58 next week and I have no regrets with my life and no complaints whatsoever.
I admire your strength. I'm 47 in 2024 never married and no children.
Rev Niketa
I’m so confused on why this is such a big deal. Not every woman has the desire to be someone’s mom. The older I get the more I find nothing desirable about wiping butts, managing melt downs & being a professional car service for someone who lives with you rent free. I like my life AS IS.
That's because you're part of a selfish generation.
@@tanishawilliams575 Are you ok? You do not seem well or smart, I was born in the 70s Ms. Assumption pants. Worrying about someone else’s uterus is CRAZY.
@@tanishawilliams575 Slow & wrong.
I recall telling my mom, as a child, that I was going to drop my kids off to her every weekend. I kind of said it jokingly, but now that I'm an adult, I believe that was my soul speaking. I wish more people would analyze the life they really want before bringing a child into this world. As a public school educator, it's evident that too many parents do not make being a parent a priority. Kudos to Ms. Tina for knowing her path.
I’m happy with my life choices too, & your glow further confirms how happy you are.😊 I’ve also never been married & don’t want to get married!💯🤷🏽♀️ Childfree, single women are some of the most happiest people, according to recent studies.🥰🙌🏾
My wish for humanity is that we each come into the world and stay connected to our soul enough to be a pathway for whatever is ours to birth. Each of us answering the call that lives deep within sounds harmonious and good for humanity.
That's true. I never been married and don't have kids. I'm single by choice and childfree by choice. And I'm very happy with my life. And yes, childfree and single by choice women are very happy compared to women who are in relationships and marriages with kids.
I had that same story. I went out and got pregnant at 31 because people kept acting like it was something wrong with me. I love my child, but I cannot deny that he's only here because I wanted to prove to the world that I could get a man to impregnant me too.....Which is easy af. Black men will give u a baby before a ring, hell, before a date.
Ain't the the truth! Current situation is so quick to say he wants a child but doesn't have the skills/tools to be a good husband or partner to me, the person that is bringing the life into the world!! So quick to be ok being a baby daddy and making me a baby momma vs husband and wife....
Now you have a child forever! Smh, anyone else reading these comments, PLEASE DO NOT allow ANYONE to talk you into, guilt you into, make you think you are missing something! Marriage and children are over rated. Either is not not the end all, be all of one’s life. I wish I had done things differently!
Honesty is the key. Children require a depth of commitment that is uncomfortable at times and overwhelming. I love. Your honesty.
“Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde Alignment for the assignment. Critical, independent thought. So refreshing. Brava for honoring your unique, God-given life in authenticity and gratitude.
I’ve learned over the years that I gain another level of respect for someone that didn’t want to have children or get married! I really think they knew exactly what and how they wanted to live. I totally applaud them for not giving into the pressure of having children to please someone else’s vision of who they are. I have three and I know that I wasn’t the best for them. I wanted children but wasn’t ready and wasn’t sometimes emotionally able. I did want to do more in life before having children and now know that if I hadn’t, I would be just fine and the greatest uncle ever! My hats off to those who knew at an early age they didn’t want children and knew that it was okay and life moved on!
You were smart as heck at six years old. Very deep thinker
Got married at 50 and have no children. I am ok with it. ❤
My wife n I got married for the first time at 53 n 51
I still want to marry but not to the wrong person
Thank you for your words of wisdom and truth
You really help me
Thank you
I am 42 and I still want to as well but I want to give my husband and maybe future children the healed version of me
I never wanted the responsibility of motherhood. I never saw a woman in my community who actually enjoyed motherhood, unfortunately. From the outside looking in being a mother seemed like a thankless burden to me.
That's because it is. Some women pour so much of their time and energy into their kids, that they forget about themselves. Not me though. I make sure I take care of me and do the things that I love doing. Once you have a child, it's not about you anymore and that's what some forget.
I LOVE being a mother. I certainly enjoy it and I don’t feel burdened at all. Sorry your community didn’t enjoy motherhood. There are certain things I can possibly conclude based off of that experience but motherhood certainly isn’t a BURDEN when you’re prepared for it. It certainly isn’t for everybody but motherhood can certainly be a beautiful thing when you go into it having the right mindset.
As I child I never had the desire to have kids. I always said NO KIDS for me at age 6 and everyone who knows me say “You’ve been saying no kids since you were a child!” I was open to marriage but most men want kids. I’m single and no kids and I’m at peace with it. It’s exhausting, expensive and difficult to raise kids in today’s world. Marriages aren’t looking too successful neither with spouses killing each other and their kids. It’s not God’s will for everyone to get married. Honestly life is about serving and pleasing God. Apostle Paul said you can better serve God single. For my life it’s what my Heavenly Father wants for me because he truly knows what’s best for me❤
I'm 60 now and have 11 grandchildren from me having two girls and one boy. All of them are married and living their own life. I truly had to reinvent myself. By 25 I had all three because my husband wanted a boy. I would not change my life for anything. I've been single on my own from the age of 44. In this life we all pick and chose what it is we want and if you are happy with where you are that is all that matters. Blessings to you and keep enjoying YOUR LIFE!
People who have a problem with women choosing not to have kids should look up all the cases of abused and trafficked children. Most of them were brought into this world without much thought past their infancy. A lot of women should really consider if they want to and WHY they want to have children. Because if you really don't want to, and still have them, the children suffer. The same people scoffing at childfree by choice women are probably mad because they didn't have the COURAGE to opt out, and now they're operating in false happiness and stale self righteousness. Lol Nobody cares if your "child is your world," or you found purpose once you became a parent. Cute for you! Luckily, this world isn't monolithic, and there's no one path to purpose, happiness, and fulfillment. So kiss a**!
~Respectfully a Fellow Childfree by Choicer. 😁
Your hair and skin are so vibrant- congratulations on living your life on your terms!
Lol. Sounds like you came into the world as an old soul who's already experienced such things in many other lifetimes. Kudos to you.
Parenting as an obligation is so overated. I have 2 children it's rewarding but burdensome at the same time it should be explained in its completeness. As a woman we shouldn't have to explain that. Marriage is a personal choice as is children...period the end...no explanation. You are a very wise woman if I had it to do over again I'm not sure I would have children although I love my children with every fabric of me. As a now empty nester I would have loved to have had more time to experience the freedom I experience now.
This is it right here
I didn't get married until my late 30's , and prior to that I chose to stop dating. People acted like I had lost my mind.
People are so funny. I'm glad you choose YOU!
So how did you end up getting married since you were not dating? Im 33 and in the same situation
@@annikaminina7670 my childhood friend came home after serving in the military and invited me to her welcome home party and my future husband was there. We ran into each other at a few more events and initially became friends and the story goes on from there.
I never want to be that much responsible for anyone, that to me feels like I would have lost myself and Is being controlled by another
I have been married twice… should have I asked myself that question 40 years ago. You truly don’t know what you gonna get.
My story is different from Tina's, but I knew at the same age (6), that I didn't want to be a wife or mother. I allowed my spirit guide me in the face of decades of judgment and accusations of selfishness, but I knew then, like I know now, I did the right thing for myself. I'll be making my 70th trip around the sun this year and I can say happily and freely, I have no regrets!
Live your life and your dreams that fulfill your happiness, who cares what people think. Do what makes and keeps YOU happy.
I'm 39. Never been married do I have children. And it's truly the best!!!
Same here - I knew I didn’t want to get married many reasons why
@rmccaindet me too!!! sis. I have a lot of reason why I am not married.
Facts. I knew I did not want to be married or have kiddos very early in life. I choose to be available to chase my calling.
It's okay. Marriage and having children is not for everyone. I respect your decision because it's your life. Bravo beautiful lady.
The construct of marriage is not enticing. Feels like bondage.
There is a higher marriage that no one speaks about.
It is also too hard remaining feminine with these type of men.
Living freely is total blisssss.