I said this to my sister too. They dying before they time too cuz they got no woman looking after them and they kids dont want no business wid em either
It's true, but the men these days are teaching each other to place ALLLLLL the blame on women in the relationship! No matter what issue existed, the new age men say it was the woman's fault! It's ridiculous! They never ever acknowledge that marriages end a lot of the times, because women have FINALLY HAD ENOUGH of the bad treatment in said marriage!
No. She suffered years of financial emotional abuse due to her own poor decision making, including poor selectivity in mate…just like a vast majority of modern women. The issue is not with men, but your poor decision making.
@@user-oz5vl2ho8v YEP...AND MEN ARE NOT OPEN WALLETS. If you want a rich guy go for one BUT he comes with a whole other set of issues. Honestly she sounded like a child...most men now don't want to get married really what we get for handing out all of our income to somebody that is never happy as soon as she see her friends with something she does not have. Hot pass.
No, the issue is with both the man AND the woman. The man needs to take accountability for inflicting that emotional and financial abuse and the woman needs to accept accountability for choosing bum men. The blame falls on both of them.
@@BrickCityBella naa he can be the perfect man as soon as her friends man has more money or buys her more stuff. All of a sudden your man is no longer good enough. No man in his right mind is going give his wife everything she wants. She is never satisfied. Choose better men to have babies with and marry.
You’re exactly right. That what God said he create his son a helpmate. Not a door mate or an atm. We are to help and add to what a man already have. Not be use and a bruised by them. I’m not getting married until God chooses him. I was just like her but physically bruised I been single with a peace of mind for 5 yrs.LOVE AND VALUE YOURSELF FIRST
Thats Scripture! HE said a man findeth a good thing and told women I will be ur Husbands - If he dont love you like I Love you - like HE instructed a man to love a woman… then shake the dust from off ur feet & leave like a thief in the night
He's been persuading me to move in. He don't got sh!t. I said let's work 3 month to buy all furniture. LoL he blocked my number yesterday and still don't pick up my calls today. BOY BYEEEEEE
I'm 63. Never married and never had children. Took care of my elderly parents and my grandmother for 17 years. Had relationships that didn't work out. But I'd rather be by myself and enjoy what life has to offer than to be with someone who does not value me.
Similar situation here. I resolved in my heart a long time ago to do things God's way, no matter the cost. I have always desired a husband and a house full of babies, but God asked me to do something else. I also resolved that I was not going to pout, beg, be angry or desperate about it, but I was going to embrace and enjoy all the wonderful things that God HAS given me. I have seen many friends, acquaintances and peers go through what she has gone through, and there is no judgement here because it IS hard to let go of something you want dearly. I think the only reason that I got through the most difficult part of this (Ages 20-40) was #1 God crushed my stubborn will. #2 I grew up with a Mom who modeled self-worth, so I understood that I was the prize (or as the Bible calls it, "A good thing"). Now I have gotten to the place where if God doesn't give it, I don't want it, and I have learned so much discernment. She is brave to share her story. Loved her honesty and vulnerability.
I see a lot of sad comments on here !!! A marriage shouldn't be like this at all!! My dad told me ,when you find the right one and marry her, continue to date her for the rest of y'all's life ,and I promise she won't go nowhere and she will be happy. I'm like " continue to date her"? He said "yeah" all the dates,wine and dinning ,late night conversations etc. continue to give her attention and make her feel special!! So that's what I did and still do !! After 12 years ,3 kids ,we still going strong,hell we ain't been too long came back from the Charlotte fair where we had a ball and I even won her a teddy bear!!! Fat story skinny y'all,,,,, continue to do the things that made y'all fall in love from the get go and honor one another,and I promise it will be a happy life !!!!!
The one word you used that the majority of men know nothing about is y'all. Meaning both in this particular context. I have raised my children, which are awesome by the way, educated myself and currently in a good job. Unfortunately,every hurt I've sustained has been from a black man. I'm glad that you're taking care of business at home. Seems like you got it right. Maybe you should write a book schooling your brother's. I now have no desire to have something serious. Things start well, until the games kick in. SAD. WE CAN'T RETRIEVE OUR TIME. But we can make our future happier and spiritually enriched. You continue to value what you've been blessed with and the blessing will continue to flow.
If only all men realized that to keep the girl, you need to keep doing whatever you did to GET the girl. It's so simple. Hell, you don't even have to do 100% of what you were doing to get the girl, but dang, do SOME of it, not 0%, then be surprised when the girl leaves. I swear if a man does just 20%, a woman will do 100% back, that's how we were made. Kudos to your dad for being a good man, and for teaching his son how to be a good man! You, sir, deserve all the good things that come to you.
People like to advise women to "pick better" then they get mad when we decide not to pick at all. What if not picking any man is picking better? Imma let that sink in.
Its not even like we have the liberty to just pick anyway, that man has to like you back too in order for it to even get off the ground. Tbh it goes both ways
This video proves - if you accept less u will always get less. This old lady abdicated her own life decisions activity happiness to that son of a bitch. I hope women are smarter now
Society try to make you feel like life is over if you don't get married. It's nice if the right one comes along but if not those people can ruin your life.
Life is about relationships. Many of yall fail in life when it comes to compromising with a man. It is a failure if you don’t have one long term. It starts to get real in your 50s and 60s without one
The horrible husband gave her two daughters that she loves dearly and were worth the failed marriage. It's wrong to assume that she wouldn't have married if she had to start over without her daughters being born.
My Nana had a great number one rule for finding the perfect mate. “Make sure he LIKES TO WORK! It doesn’t matter what kind of job he has, just make sure he likes to work.” It’s good advice. This May my husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary.
I was my husband's meal ticket. He was picky about working. My BAD. Karma bit him though. He died in 2017 from the flu. He also chased a widow. I was in denial. But I woke up!
Single, celibate and at peace. I love it here. If God blesses me with my person….wonderful. If not….wonderful! I’ll be over here enjoying my life. I have my one child and we are blessed!
I remember I cooked Christmas dinner for him, he left that morning stayed gone all day. He didn’t eat, no card, present or kiss when he got back. That was the last Christmas with him and I’m glad.
@@Laoriginal718 And she said she left after that didn’t she? That shaming energy you put out gonna smack you square in the face one day. I feel sorry for you.
I spent 22 years in a relationship doing everything by myself financially, emotionally whilst raising my 3 children. I bought my house and moved hundreds of miles with my kids all on my own. Then 3 years later, husband want us to start again, I foolishly gave him another chance with one year to show change and he couldn't even do that. I applied for a divorce last July and it was finalised this March. I have never known freedom like this😂😂😂. Ladies, stop letting men steal your peace and joy. They will never be happy no matter what you do because the problem is with themselves. Don't let them waste your time because you only have one life to live.
Perfect marriages or relationships don't exist; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we worked through them. It was a tough time, but we emerged stronger.
I really get what you're saying, and I genuinely want to be happy too. There's someone special in my life, and even though we're not together right now, I can't imagine life without her; I love her deeply. I hope she comes back, and I'm fully devoted to making it happen. We've tried therapy and other ways to make things right.
Your guidance is well-received. I'll quickly search for her online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; her absence is keenly felt.
I don’t think it’s a Black thing. I think it’s a lo’ life, trifling, or narcissistic things. Women with poor discernment of all races complained about ‘Not knowing’. It’s good she acknowledges this and sharing.
BM and Men from other races, aren't attracted to, desire or marry BW. That's why BW are the least married and the most evicted 🤣. Don't get it twisted 😂
It's not a race thing Hon. Jerkoffs come in all shades and varieties, but the dust that clings to them is the same!!! I swear the last good day I had with my ex was our wedding day. Although he was just plain cruel once I was his wife. I've dated and been in relationships with men of every color of the spectrum and the entitlement, assumptions of gender roles, and actions are similar. For years I assumed I was the common denominator and gaslit hell out of myself, but all these videos of women of all walks of life, ages, and countries shows me it wasn't specifically a defect that I had. I have my issues like many, but this pattern is too common among so many women that it is glaring. And all the pushback from men over 4B really does highlight these fundamental attitudes that are the very reason why birth rates are dropping and women are opting out. I married for love. And I believed he truly loved me. But,I mistook his infatuation as passionate love. What he really wanted was to conquer and humble me...and a maid, joy toy, and arm candy for public events. He wanted to tame the mustang and have me dote on him constantly. When I realized he wasn't all that and a bag of chips as my students say, but a grown man who used every manipulation tool in his arsenal to control me and my spirit,I finally left him. Middle-aged now and had to rear my profoundly disabled son alone. Naturally, he abandoned us. Oh and he blamed me for our child's disabilities which is laughable because our son isa more impaired version of my ex. Ladies we can't expect or rely on someone else to save us. Nope. We have to save ourselves. Be the man that you would marry. Buy yourself that sparkly ring or whatever you want for yourself because the greatest love of all is to accept who you are. Life isn't a Bridgerton episode. As much as I love the show and thank Shonda for the visual fantasy,it is fiction at its best. If you have that kind of love and relationship that's awesome. Just know it's rare AF and it is okay to go it alone. Four B for the win!!!! If you want to join the movement we are here for you. If not, we wish you success, happiness, and love. Either way, women need to support each other. We are our tribe.
Keep telling your stories ladies. Older women, keep speaking your truth. There is a reason why women marched and fought for their rights. Living with men was never all that it was cracked up to be.
I don't know you at all so you probably won't trust my advice, which I get. But I do want to say that 4 billion people in this world are men and there are so many kind hearted, self sacrificing men out there. If you don't want to get married, that is your choice. But I encourage you to try to make a male friend at the very least to learn a different side of of them then you are used to.
all that was and it available men see themselves as superior to women worldwide it's a very rare man that can live a happy peaceful life w his wife @@raamyasharahla535
I am glad the elders are telling their truth mind you most of them were married off starting at the age of 14, my mother got married at the age of 16 and my father was 21 🚩🚩🚩 His side of the family hates when I tell them that my father marrying my mother at 16 was predatory, ain’t nothing romantic about it and his neglectful, abusive, disrespectful behavior proved it. My parents have been separated for 40 years but still legally married, my father has been living with the side chick for 41 years and I have two younger siblings from their Union which the side chick made sure she destroyed our sibling relationship ( spiteful b*tch) she is mad my father never divorced my mother, it’s important to note he changed the woman but not his behavior 🚩🚩 People like to believe a disrespectful, abusive man will change his behavior for the “right woman” but that’s simply not true. Ladies if you are with a man that disrespects women QUIETLY make your exit out that relationship asap!
You are so right, and God bless and keep you for having the strength to be the one who tells the truth in your family. I know it's no easy feat firsthand ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing - and you are absolutely correct. The ones who are capable of change are perpetually asking for guidance, tips, and advice and you can regularly see that they are honestly doing the best they can (often with passable results).
She might be holding on for afterlife purposes. I don’t know, but he has had her bound for a long time! And I have witnessed how men will definitely change for who THEY want to change for. And that’s the only time they will change-WHEN THEY WANT TO.
None of the women in my family picked good husbands and they seem to be confused about why I am still single at 40+. What is sad is that there are still women out here who believe that their value comes from having a husband. Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad that you have your daughters and little sisters.
The roles have definitely changed. The women are the men and the men are the women. When I was growing up, a man was embarrassed to ask a women for anything but now, they want to be taken care of. Men are not looking for a relationship, they looking for help.
For the so called Christians, a woman was literally designed and created to be a helper or helpmeet. Anything outside of that, you are not fulfilling your purpose. Men should not be ashamed for wanting help.
my fiancé is like that... 62 year old BM. He was a miserable person and couldn't tolerate my happiness. Leading up to the wedding, I let him move into my home. Big mistake... he acted like your 2nd husband. He did everything he could think of to make me unhappy. I sent him packing after praying for him to leave peacefully. Weak men emotionally abuse women. For the first time in my life I am single, safe,, and at peace. Love yourself, put God first, and wait while you smell the roses God blessed us with. , Our special journey is self love of the soul of God within... not outside of ourselves. 😂
My momma always said “Don’t be a cleanup woman” some men are broken & broke smh 🤦🏿♀️ they also know when a woman is desperate. We gravitate & settle for ppl based on the level of our self esteem. BW & BM deserve healthy & healing love 💕
@@thementoringtime my daddy said “Don’t allow him to disrespect you, put his hands on you or embarrass you. Men do to you what you allow them to do. Love yourself enough to know what you deserve. When you love yourself first it will be easier to love others. Treat him the way you would want your sons to be treated. Be with someone who you would want your sons to become”
My Dad was a single father of almost 10 kids, wonderful and responsible he taught me that a King takes care of a Queen not the other way round. I will never settle for less.
@@GCMickens , 5 of his own kids and 4 his nephews. We were treated equally. Some men only have ONE kid and cannot even take care of them. Still living in their mothers homes at 40. Those kind of men are good at using women.
She comes from a different generation. All my aunts are just like her. They believe a piece of a man is better than no man and men of that generation had/have no problem using them to no end because of this. I was an observant child and saw my aunts constantly crying, fighting, cursing, and fussing over men and I vowed at a young age that would never be me. I married a man who was all roses at first, needless say I'm single and living my best drama free life because I ain't having none of it. I am zero tolerant of the foolery.
I went thru this in my first marriage too! Felt like I had a whole little boy to raise! Helped him to rise up in life with his career just for him to leave me. Well, 12 yrs later, I put myself thru Nurse Practioner school and me and my Son are living life. When he does see me, it's like I'm looking at a ghost! Nothing but defeat in his face. NEVER will I choose a man that wont take care of my wants as well as my needs! Loved your storytime❤❤❤
So why did you marry him in the first place???? Sounds like you chose wrong...who's fault is that??? Maybe deep down you know that's the only man that will ever marry you.
Congratulations that you walked away and upgraded your life, we all make mistakes, the key is to learn from them which you clearly did. Congratulations on achieving that goal career wise, stay blessed!
I don’t know how or why you were in my feed, but I’m so happy that you were. I’m at work in the bathroom crying because your story is my mother‘s story. She married my father twice and each time he abandoned her and me. It seemed like only his needs and his wants were met.. my mother lost everything behind him, her health and so many other things and he didn’t care. She died at the age of 50, 16 years ago. She loved him so much. He was her first of everything, and he took advantage of that. I didn’t realize it until she went to rest with the Lord. I find comfort in knowing that her heart break is gone. Her worry is gone now Thank you for sharing your story and your life lessons. bless you and your family sorry for the long post
I can't believe I'm 67 and I never married. I did manage to finish a career with a great pension. I also got to take care of both parents before they passed, one after the other. This 74 year old doctor: his family has lived across the street from my family for like .... 70 years. As we grew up, as I travelled the world and periodically went back to our home country, he never ever showed any interest in me. Then I retired; everybody here knows about my pension. I also inherited all of my father's assets, including the house. And get this: *Ready? OK* This man had the NERVE to propose AFTER I retired and AFTER I lost both parents. And remember: we never dated and we were never friends. We basically don't know eachother, since my life was overseas. I gladly told him NO (he too has a pension, but it doesn't compare to mine). Can you imagine the nerve of certain men???
Sadly, some women will tolerate these kinds of men as long as they are not cheaters. Conversely, some women will tolerate cheaters as long as these men pay all the bills.
Lived it! 12 years, breadwinner. Went through the most for the least thinking one day he would turn around because he'd see that I loved him. Nothing changed. Constant arguements for no reason, he couldn't keep a job, verbally abusive and emotionally unavailable. Took me a while to see it. 12 years of my youth I let him take because I didn't know how to love me more. I finally told him he had to go. I had talked until I was all talked out. When I left that marriage, the doors opened up for me. We tend to hold on to things that aren't for us. We must love ourselves more than we love these men and live for us. Know your worth and that you deserve better and go get it. Having a man ain't nothing if he doesn't know how to be one.
That man sounds like a nightmare...Financially abusive. Wonder if he used his money that he could save, from not paying for anything while living with this lady, to take take other women on dates. Would like to know how she finally got away from that horrible situation.
@@dcg590 Super cute statement and all, but no. Both of them were responsible! At any time, he could have chosen to be a decent human and corrected the error of his own ways. But, he didn't! Bottom line though. He hated himself and his own feminine aspect. And thus, projected, mistreated, as well redirected all that hate-filled-ness from himself, onto her.
@millions2nette. You, "wonder if he used his money" I wonder if she's telling the truth! {it's 2 sides to every story} BTW, when your married it's not he's or her money, it's their money.
@@CommonSenceGUY79 Historical statistics alone confirm that things such as she described having experienced were NOT AT ALL UNCOMMON! Patriarchal influence and conditioning most definitely had it's part in her staying. That being said. It's not her, "fault", nor responsibility to bare alone! Grown 🍑 "men" ARE FULLY RESPONSIBLE AS WELL! 🎯💯 And, whether male or female. I call um' like I see um'! So, no shade to the real ones out there! Of which, for all I know, you may very well be one. So, not, as they say, "coming for you". Just pointing out the proven historical FACTS.
i was in a similar situation... but i sobbed cried and prayed many nights, God heard my prayers, gave me a way out, gave us an apartment, now im single, whole, restored, saved, sanctified and set free... Thank You Father for the Blood of Jesus Christ... out of his mercy and his grace God gave us a way to communicate with him so he can lavish his love on us... ask for his transformative power and he will set you free from anything...
There’s so many women living and surviving in unnecessary hurt with men who are absolutely selfish in marriage. This is such a shame and sad life experience 😔
I'm over 40 and single, no children, never married. Been with several men who made me hate myself. It took a long time to get my self-love back. It'd be nice to find someone, but if it never happens, I'm happy being with myself.
@@brunoqnzbk7891 Don't blame all men. Are any of you consulting the Lord? Do you attend church, read the scriptures and put them into practice? God is the only true protection you have, he can guide you to a good man. However his words are often ignored
Some women just happy to have a man. Any type of man! If someone in your life is bringing you unhappiness and not showing up with financial responsibility; what's the point??? Please ladies practice and recognize some "self love"!🤗❣
Marriage is not the flex some women on social media try to present it to be. Beware of these IG and FB marriages. A lot of that is faking for clicks and likes.
Yep, ppl been snapping out n marriage's ending in gunfire n the children r the only survivors. When the late couples story is told, all u see is tik toks n live's where their making it look like a fairytale relationship. One guy set his wife on fire,literally sparked his lighter n flamed her. He told the police after he was arrested that " He wasn't even that close to her, like that" !!!!!😵💫 Marriage is the flex when u married to the right person❤
Yo u can fake till u make it at job but not when it comes to relationships! 😅 Even tho a relationship with man is like having a full time job since they take soo damb much from u!😢 I think the happiest couples never post anything about their relationship online! U know those couples who actually like eachother & laugh together! Those older couples who still flirt with eachother. It's so fun to watch a couple who have fun together & genuinely love eachother! But alot of couples just hate eachother...I'm like why are these 2 even together? He hates her clearly or they hate eachother! Or she just thinks he suuuuuucks because he does! Like she's sitting there glaring at him so hard I'm just waiting for his head to catch on fire😅!
It breaks my heart when BW agree with BM saying $30 is too much for a date. When the get a million $ contract, they go find and marry Ms. Becky or Ms. Sanchez and give them the "Champagne Life" Stay solid, Stay woke. Don't settle!
Well ladies, be the kind of women that makes a man (not just a black one) happy to treat you well. But there is more that one way for a man to be good to a woman other than spending money. Look at how he shows up for you. To be honest, being the saver that I am, I happy for cheap dates especially if we are married. I want to see a big nest egg in the bank and you can't do that spending a lot.
BW need to stop having conversations about money with men, period. Men will show you how much they will care for you by the first or second date. Any selfishness is a red flag.
Listening to this is excruciating. You deserve so much more. He didn’t deserve you, but YOU deserve YOU. Whitney sang it best “ Learning to love yourself z, it is the greatest love of all”
You know what? I needed a new car so my husband wrote a $30k check for one for me. Women need to understand their worth and stop settling for less from losers!
Ladies, I'm 62 years young, & I permanently got rid of MY Migraine Headache back in 1986 and NEVER Remarried again! I came close again two more times, but by the Grace of The Almighty, TMH loved me enough to always show me--in those two important relationships--EXACTLY what was REALLY WRONG with EACH ONE of those guys, BEFORE I decided to go through with Marrying each them (and it was years apart for each relationship, too)! Yes I've had a few dates since then but I usually "went Dutch" & learned the value of keeping my legs CLOSED! As a result, I've been living CELIBATE since 2008, and I enjoy the Solitude of being by myself to this VERY day, rather than having "settled" for ANOTHER SELFISH SACK OF ISH! 💩💩 Going through that nightmare ONCE was enough in my Life....And it left enough Emotional scars in me to where I've NEVER Tolerated any BS from ANY OTHER Narcissistic sack of ish Pen!s since!! 💩💩 I'd rather be by myself than to settle for "ground-beef" when I deserve a DIAMOND! 💎 👏🏽 NO Regrets--Plain & Simple!!
THIS!!! The deception is Real😢 You would think being humble and honest would be appreciated...then they act confused and like a victim that cant take accountability then claim BW are the problem. Its up to us Ladies to set rhe standard and take no shorts, period. I wish you Peace and a long happy life my Sistar.🎉
@eternalabundance39 look up the personal development school. Subconscious programming. Game changer. You can heal that unlovable, defective, broken, core wound in 30 days. It will change your life. It is literally like factory resetting your brain.
Thank you for so much for sharing your message. I was married before my husband passed away 13 years ago due to heart issues. We have a son together. He is now 14 years old. This is confirmation to me how life would’ve been like if I had a continue to be dating the person that I was with for a year. At the beginning, he loved on me and then all of a sudden he stopped wanting to take me out and he would not get me anything for my birthday or Valentine’s Day. Instead, he got me candy from a shelter, homeless shelter for veterans for Valentine’s Day. I ended the relationship because he Moved in to me and my sons home without me discussing it. And I think that’s the best decision I ever made thanks to God.❤
So glad she is surrounded by women that love and help her. Its a cautionary tale. She had to pay for everything and still this man wouldn't even show her appreciation and love on a vacation!!! Smh. Sis I want you to go back to the Bahamas with your daughters and sisters and have an amazing time! You deserve that! Women gotta stick together because they sure can't depend on a man for nothing! Not even love & support. Smh.
I'm 61, divorced with two kids and grandchildren. I was in the Air Force then. He was like mad I made more than him. So get a cup of ambition why don't you? Tell you what, he wasn't going to no Bahamas with me acting like that. After the marriage ended, I learned love and commitment isn't easy. I wish you well
This is a very sad story that many women live. My grandmother taught us valuable lessons when it came to men. It took a while to click for me. But babyyyy once you got it you got it I will NEVA settle without winning and then I’m still out and winning Put yourself First Ladies 💕✨❤️
Focus on your career Celibate for life Never getting married Never having children except through adoption when I am financially buoyant Date for fun Instead of looking for a husband I'm looking for like minded female friends for a lifetime to co house split bills and travel the world together, you know actually going 50.50 Take care of your family friends loved ones and community
I have been there, and never again will I be with a cheap man, a stingy man. Some men just want to take advantage of you women. Please always have your own. Your own home, money, car, a good job, and create a business. Don't date potential!
My first husband was wealthy. He was stingy and controlling. He was a trust fund guy and let me spend my money working retail on him before he revealed he had a trust fund. Just gross. They can be financially abusive from the other side, too
These problems are not just money, and having the things you mentioned aren't guaranteed to fix anything. Women "have their own" and still get treated badly.
@julesgordon1109 spoken like an abuser. He didn't want me to work so I could enrich his property, then wouldn't buy me things I wanted or needed if he didn't agree with it. Do you know what financial abuse is?
Through your pain my Dear, you have educated generations of women . We salute you for telling us your truth. So glad you have the love of your daughters and your sisters.❤
@@enyonamagbemadzo8684 says the woman with a ton of makeup on and a damn wig! I don't think you even understand what handsome means. The point, since you're slow, is WOMEN who end up with lesser men time and again is their fault. You all think you deserve something that you aren't. She's actually mad at the man SHE picked! Why not be mad at herself?!? Why didn't she pick a man with a damn job?!? Because she is as stupid as the rest of the women talking like her. But you're not going to blame her. No, you'd prefer making this about me. I'm doing just fine without walking around with a disguise. Can you say the same???
It's amazing how our mother's use to say, "I ain't one of your little friends ". But now, we have turned into that little friend. Because of my grandma I never remarried, obtained my degrees, and became a business and properties owner
I wasted almost 3 years on a terrible relationship. I did so much damage to my mental and financial health. I put up with physical abuse and when I look back on it, crazy levels of misogyny and extreme disrespect. It was incredibly hard to leave and break out of the cycle of abuse. There’s that little voice inside and of course his voice telling you how if you leave you’re going to end up alone and leaves you questioning if you even deserve better. Then one day I realized that although I wanted children and a happy home with a partner, even if I stayed, it was never going to happen. All I’d ever get was more of the same. I realized I would never want any potential child of mine to see their mother be treated how I was allowing myself to be treated. I had to grieve what I had hoped for the relationship. I had to grieve letting go of this person. Even though the relationship was the worst time in my life , there were still good times and the person isn’t ever all bad. I had to face that I may indeed end up alone and that I probably wasn’t going to have kids. It’s been a hard process and it hasn’t been instant happiness. For the first time in a long time I have peace though and dreams again. I no longer have to live in survival mode and carry another adult on my back. Having time for self care and being able to travel again have been great. It’s going to be a long road. It’s crazy how much I missed out on and how much I set myself back. Ultimately, I’m glad I didn’t stay another day longer than I did. I can’t imagine how much lower I would have had to climb back from if I hadn’t gotten out when I did.
Yes Maam, you can be with someone and be alone! Better to treat yourself well and enjoy the love and companionship of the family and friends that love you! Bad men destroy your peace, and if you are older, they be having you anxious and insecure, like you young and foolish!! I choose peace, praise the Lord!
Many posters are taking the wrong message from her story. She wasn't advocating being unmarried. That's why she gave a shoutout to her two daughters she loves dearly. She wouldn't have had them without at least one of the marriages. And because of those marriages, she won't be dying alone and unaided in her old age. She got what she wanted out of those marriages.
My dad always told me don’t deal with a man who needs you to work as the woman of the house. The man should be able to handle all the bills by himself. Women work because they feel like it or have to not because the man is not being the provider he should be.
I am so glad you young girls, Gen Z and Millenials, are so much smarter about men and relationships than me as Gen X and my mom as Boomer. My two daughters tolerate no bullshit. I'm so proud of y'all 😍
I wish our generation had the benefit of social media more available to everyone back when I was growing up. Even after observing my parents's bad marriage, I just thought that was an exception and most of them were good. It's only now that the reality of dating and marriage are being exposed worldwide.
This just showed me that choosing my next partner I should take this extremely seriously. To know to be patient and understand my worth. To wait on Gods timing and not think I know better just because I feel good in the moment.👌🏽
I love this comment! Good for you! I truly hope that the elder is at a much happier place in her life. I would say too, signing up to be somebody’s care package can bring about these results. If a man doesn’t consistently demonstrate the instinct and willingness to protect, provide, and cover, it might be a sign that that’s not what you want if you do in fact want a man who does have those instincts and that willingness. Most men are possibly not going to respect, appreciate, and do right by a woman who has shown them that they will accept just about any and everything from them, particularly all while acting in the capacity of provider instead of them. It is bound to end in the way that it began. Lots of males are looking to be wifed up by females these days and for some couples, that’s what they both want. However, if that’s not a woman wants, it’s best to not start it that way.
I am 63, separated and waited to get married to 2x divorcee, I settled and I am paying for it. Never settle, life has too much to offer. Now won't help with Texas $10k divorce starting lawyer fee. I married a "boyman", my BAD mistake..
She's obviously not telling us the full story of her marriages. There are two sides to every story. There must be reasons why she got married in the first place, and why she stayed as long as she did. People tend to turn off their critical thinking skills when someone is telling them what they want to hear.
Exactly. I married and he switched it up quick……and so did it. I divorced him within one year. I already had a man waste my time…..but I was young and dumb. Not allowing it anymore.
@@mel2000: Take into consideration that she’s of a different generation. At one time, if you were sleeping with someone or dating them for any length of time, unless you wanted to be seen as a wh*re, you got married. On top of that, divorce was seen as shameful and scandalous, sinful even. It was to be avoided at all costs. People, especially women, were expected to stay in unhappy marriages and put up with hell and high water. Not to mention that many if not most women were financially dependent on men.
The most love I have ever received has been from my women friends. Always celebrate our birthdays together , our joys and successes and supported each other through our pains and sorrows. They are wonderful people.
Ever wonder how many men are raised by their mamas to be waited on hand and foot, never learn to clean, cook, take care of business. Men who only think of their own needs. I'm so fortunate that my husband works, pays our bills, and helps take care of business. I guess I got a good one for the last 20 yrs.
I have experienced emotional abuse from every adult in my life. I totally understand her saying that had she not been given love from her children, then she would have never experienced it in her lifetime. SMH
This is what happens when you invalidate your children. They grow up believing they are not deserving of being a priority in their adult relationships. Keep building your channel, Queen! We gon’ work together. ❤️
Thank you Looooord I woke up over 20 years ago. I am now 45 and are happy aaaaaaall by myself. If the man that might come in my life do not do the "bare minimum" which in my case is not the bare minimum but a damn long and high list he better NOT COME NO WAY NEAR ME.
She just wanted to be loved. Sometimes wanting love you may have never received may not always be because you didn’t love yourself, you just didn’t know. Maybe you would hope to come across others who recognized that and wouldn’t exploit that. None of what happened to her was her fault. It was their loss.
She sounds like a very sweet and caring lady that only wanted to feel loved and desired by her man. Instead of always being the primary breadwinner. Sounds like you were picking broke, lazy and trifling men. Glade to hear that your daughters are taking care of you at this stage of life. Blessings to you and family
It's not that bw in her generation was picking these type of men intentionally but moreso it was what was available to them in that era of time. Most if not all of the bm behaved in similar ways back in the day. Some were lucky but most were not.
@@IAMHERE486 It also has to be said some people (male and female) present a completely different front while courting. They are a different person until the relationship is 'permanent'. you will find similar stories from those who experience domestic violence - 'He was so sweet until we got married'. So sometimes you pick what appears to be a nice person, only to find out that persona was a lie.
@@khrisi9410 That's an overstatement. That's akin to saying that God left these dear loving women to the mercy of wolves. Is the Lord being sought out on guidance for who to, and who not to see? Is there obedience to the Lord in all aspects of these women's lives? Is sex being had before marriage? I ask these questions because there are countless women here complaining but these are guaranteed ways of filtering out the bad choices. Regular dating won't help
I love her & I love reading y’all stories. Being single & childless isn’t as bad as society tries to shame & make it seem. Choose yourself & choose peace
I don't care who it is, you teach a person how to treat you. What you allow and accept is what you'll get. It doesn't matter if it's a man or woman, you show your vulnerability by what you say and/or how you act. Love yourself first and it will open your eyes to what you allow and accept from your significant other. Have boundaries, requirements, and consequences, because most women don't. Most relationships are exactly how she described, "one-sided." This applies to both women and men. However, for this post, it's specifically for women.
Ladies, never date nor marry a cheap man, I'm not talking about budgeting, I'm talking about a cheap man. We all should budget to ensure we maximize our money and our ability to finance a car or get a mortgage. A cheap man will spend your money and look at you like you are crazy if you ask for a dime. You will never have anything nice either. My mom's 3rd husband was a cheap man. We needed a new refrigerator, he bought a used one that had a roach nest in the engine. The next year when he went away on vacation to visit his daughter my Mom remodeled the kitchen and living room. She had an exterminator come in before the new furniture came. My Mom and Dad her 2nd Husband never played around with that 2nd hand mess because in some cases like the fridge you get roaches. Ladies do not start nothing while dating because you will have to continue it if you get marry to the guy. Also, stay away from jealous men, jealous men who have issues with your job and your ability to buy whatever it is you like. I didn't pay attention the first time jealousy reared its ugly head with an ex. Know your worth ladies, know your worth.
What a lovely lady. thank you for sharing your story. I'm happy you had the strength to walk away from those men that clearly didn't know what they had.
My sister has been with the same man for 30 years. He never married her. She works AND takes care of the house. She's not on the mortgage and won't be on the deed. She's never been on a vacation, because he doesn't want to go. They don't ever go out, because he doesn't want to go. When you think you need a man, your life becomes all about his.
Your sister and I have same story accept I'm leaving once my daughter graduates high school. Not that long to go. We put her first and want her to have both parents and we don't miss anything but soon as she's out, I'm out.
Wow, I want to give you a hug. Thank you for sharing this with us. But it’s true that you don’t learn some things except on your own skin. Once you go through something like this you learn to appreciate on another level what it means to be in a relationship and what is your own worth. Hope you have all the love and warmth in your life now ❤
I hope this lady sees this!!! I just clicked on this video and fell in love with my new Sistah Mama!!!! What a lovely and strong spirit you have, ma’am. I am so sorry for what you went through with those underdeveloped men, because you surely deserve to be cherished and protected!!! Keep going, and love from San Antonio, Texas. ❤️❤️❤️
A lot of old men dying alone because they didn't treat their families right 😂
I said this to my sister too. They dying before they time too cuz they got no woman looking after them and they kids dont want no business wid em either
Soo true I work in the healthcare field and they be lonely with no visitors!!! But back then was like papa was a rolling stone S**t not no more 😂😂😂😂😂
It's true, but the men these days are teaching each other to place ALLLLLL the blame on women in the relationship! No matter what issue existed, the new age men say it was the woman's fault! It's ridiculous! They never ever acknowledge that marriages end a lot of the times, because women have FINALLY HAD ENOUGH of the bad treatment in said marriage!
🎯
So true
So basically,
This woman suffered from years of financial and emotional abuse.
No. She suffered years of financial emotional abuse due to her own poor decision making, including poor selectivity in mate…just like a vast majority of modern women. The issue is not with men, but your poor decision making.
@@user-oz5vl2ho8v Perhaps, but not guaranteed. Some people are good at concealing their true nature. You may be right though.
@@user-oz5vl2ho8v YEP...AND MEN ARE NOT OPEN WALLETS. If you want a rich guy go for one BUT he comes with a whole other set of issues. Honestly she sounded like a child...most men now don't want to get married really what we get for handing out all of our income to somebody that is never happy as soon as she see her friends with something she does not have. Hot pass.
No, the issue is with both the man AND the woman. The man needs to take accountability for inflicting that emotional and financial abuse and the woman needs to accept accountability for choosing bum men. The blame falls on both of them.
@@BrickCityBella naa he can be the perfect man as soon as her friends man has more money or buys her more stuff. All of a sudden your man is no longer good enough. No man in his right mind is going give his wife everything she wants. She is never satisfied. Choose better men to have babies with and marry.
Never married, single, no children….love it. It’s actually men who need to be married, not women.
So true 🎉
You’re exactly right. That what God said he create his son a helpmate. Not a door mate or an atm. We are to help and add to what a man already have. Not be use and a bruised by them. I’m not getting married until God chooses him. I was just like her but physically bruised I been single with a peace of mind for 5 yrs.LOVE AND VALUE YOURSELF FIRST
Thats Scripture! HE said a man findeth a good thing and told women I will be ur Husbands - If he dont love you like I Love you - like HE instructed a man to love a woman… then shake the dust from off ur feet & leave like a thief in the night
He's been persuading me to move in. He don't got sh!t. I said let's work 3 month to buy all furniture. LoL he blocked my number yesterday and still don't pick up my calls today. BOY BYEEEEEE
@@IKUFLI KNOW THAT'S RIGHT
her whole vibe changed when she started talking about her daughters ☺
She glowed😂❤
She loves her babies and sisters, and they love her. She will not die alone.
@@hmm-zoolol mos def🥂
That made me tear up. So wholesome
Yes ❤
I'm 63. Never married and never had children. Took care of my elderly parents and my grandmother for 17 years. Had relationships that didn't work out. But I'd rather be by myself and enjoy what life has to offer than to be with someone who does not value me.
My Sister Too. She Is As Free As A Bird.
Truer words have never been spoken. You should make a video😁
📌
Similar situation here. I resolved in my heart a long time ago to do things God's way, no matter the cost. I have always desired a husband and a house full of babies, but God asked me to do something else. I also resolved that I was not going to pout, beg, be angry or desperate about it, but I was going to embrace and enjoy all the wonderful things that God HAS given me. I have seen many friends, acquaintances and peers go through what she has gone through, and there is no judgement here because it IS hard to let go of something you want dearly. I think the only reason that I got through the most difficult part of this (Ages 20-40) was #1 God crushed my stubborn will. #2 I grew up with a Mom who modeled self-worth, so I understood that I was the prize (or as the Bible calls it, "A good thing"). Now I have gotten to the place where if God doesn't give it, I don't want it, and I have learned so much discernment. She is brave to share her story. Loved her honesty and vulnerability.
Exactly!
We as black women are starting to wake up. These men "settle" for us because they need help. We see who they choose when they have money
Exactly
So true. Any man that did not provide is just a user.
That part
Those women don’t get better treatment just cause they have money, they just get more money lol
@@homemadeeasy9418 Right, they get abused in every way too.
I see a lot of sad comments on here !!! A marriage shouldn't be like this at all!! My dad told me ,when you find the right one and marry her, continue to date her for the rest of y'all's life ,and I promise she won't go nowhere and she will be happy. I'm like " continue to date her"? He said "yeah" all the dates,wine and dinning ,late night conversations etc. continue to give her attention and make her feel special!! So that's what I did and still do !! After 12 years ,3 kids ,we still going strong,hell we ain't been too long came back from the Charlotte fair where we had a ball and I even won her a teddy bear!!! Fat story skinny y'all,,,,, continue to do the things that made y'all fall in love from the get go and honor one another,and I promise it will be a happy life !!!!!
💚 love this
Wow! You're one of a kind
You need to go out and teach young men how to be a real man!
Please. I'm begging you!!!
The one word you used that the majority of men know nothing about is y'all. Meaning both in this particular context. I have raised my children, which are awesome by the way, educated myself and currently in a good job. Unfortunately,every hurt I've sustained has been from a black man. I'm glad that you're taking care of business at home. Seems like you got it right. Maybe you should write a book schooling your brother's. I now have no desire to have something serious. Things start well, until the games kick in. SAD. WE CAN'T RETRIEVE OUR TIME. But we can make our future happier and spiritually enriched. You continue to value what you've been blessed with and the blessing will continue to flow.
May God continue to bless your marriage. ❤
If only all men realized that to keep the girl, you need to keep doing whatever you did to GET the girl. It's so simple. Hell, you don't even have to do 100% of what you were doing to get the girl, but dang, do SOME of it, not 0%, then be surprised when the girl leaves. I swear if a man does just 20%, a woman will do 100% back, that's how we were made. Kudos to your dad for being a good man, and for teaching his son how to be a good man! You, sir, deserve all the good things that come to you.
People like to advise women to "pick better" then they get mad when we decide not to pick at all. What if not picking any man is picking better? Imma let that sink in.
Its not even like we have the liberty to just pick anyway, that man has to like you back too in order for it to even get off the ground. Tbh it goes both ways
Right! Cause ima choose me each and EVERYTIME!
This video proves - if you accept less u will always get less. This old lady abdicated her own life decisions activity happiness to that son of a bitch. I hope women are smarter now
Society try to make you feel like life is over if you don't get married. It's nice if the right one comes along but if not those people can ruin your life.
Life is about relationships. Many of yall fail in life when it comes to compromising with a man. It is a failure if you don’t have one long term. It starts to get real in your 50s and 60s without one
Facts
@@leonardmason3216 satin is a liar
Yup. No accountability is a satan trait. Raised Baptist since a kid. You?
@@leonardmason3216Failure???? Seriously
16 years, with a horrible husband. No Ma'am, I'm not going to be unhappy with no man, not even for one year! I'm single and love my peace of mind.
🐈 + 🍷 = 🫵🏽……🤣
I know that’s right!
Not even for ONE DAY OR ONE HOUR! Cause please exit my presence *immediately* SIR.
Life is too damn short to be trying to make stuff work smh.
I told you all the first red flag I'll be gone M.I.A. life's too short for the dum mess and he is Messi .😯😯😯😯😮😮😮.
The horrible husband gave her two daughters that she loves dearly and were worth the failed marriage. It's wrong to assume that she wouldn't have married if she had to start over without her daughters being born.
My Nana had a great number one rule for finding the perfect mate.
“Make sure he LIKES TO WORK! It doesn’t matter what kind of job he has, just make sure he likes to work.”
It’s good advice. This May my husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary.
TRAD to single moms married husband's who did ALL the work.
That's not enough.
I was my husband's meal ticket. He was picky about working. My BAD. Karma bit him though. He died in 2017 from the flu. He also chased a widow. I was in denial. But I woke up!
Excellent advice.
Single, celibate and at peace. I love it here. If God blesses me with my person….wonderful. If not….wonderful! I’ll be over here enjoying my life. I have my one child and we are blessed!
@marissachapman1022
Tired of getting ran thru huh?
Sometimes it’s better to be single and whole!
One is a whole number ❤
Amen 🙏🏽
Amen. The Delaney sisters said they lived to 103 and 107 because they did not marry. lol. Their choice. Beautiful women. Their choice.
@BlessedMasterpiece So true!! 100% agree with your comment.
Tell that to Vivica Fox....she's definitely whole. A whole lot of time wasted.😂🤣
I remember I cooked Christmas dinner for him, he left that morning stayed gone all day. He didn’t eat, no card, present or kiss when he got back. That was the last Christmas with him and I’m glad.
That demon was probably out with his other family. God is protecting us, we just have to pay attention.
@@homemadeeasy9418 - And he was, and I did (pay attention).❤️
That's what I'm talking about M.I.A. period.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏.
That’s the man YOU picked.
@@Laoriginal718 And she said she left after that didn’t she? That shaming energy you put out gonna smack you square in the face one day. I feel sorry for you.
I spent 22 years in a relationship doing everything by myself financially, emotionally whilst raising my 3 children. I bought my house and moved hundreds of miles with my kids all on my own. Then 3 years later, husband want us to start again, I foolishly gave him another chance with one year to show change and he couldn't even do that. I applied for a divorce last July and it was finalised this March. I have never known freedom like this😂😂😂. Ladies, stop letting men steal your peace and joy. They will never be happy no matter what you do because the problem is with themselves. Don't let them waste your time because you only have one life to live.
I’m separated now and mentally I thought the year mark was gonna be a good enough reset… nope.
Perfect marriages or relationships don't exist; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we worked through them. It was a tough time, but we emerged stronger.
I really get what you're saying, and I genuinely want to be happy too. There's someone special in my life, and even though we're not together right now, I can't imagine life without her; I love her deeply. I hope she comes back, and I'm fully devoted to making it happen. We've tried therapy and other ways to make things right.
Saying bye to someone you love a lot is tough, but I had a counselor named Aurelia Maisie Goelet who saved my marriage from falling apart.
Your guidance is well-received. I'll quickly search for her online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; her absence is keenly felt.
You should
It's beautiful when a couple work together ❤❤
These are the marriages BM want BW to be happy with
I don’t think it’s a Black thing. I think it’s a lo’ life, trifling, or narcissistic things. Women with poor discernment of all races complained about ‘Not knowing’. It’s good she acknowledges this and sharing.
BM and Men from other races, aren't attracted to, desire or marry BW. That's why BW are the least married and the most evicted 🤣. Don't get it twisted 😂
Most BW live and die by the creed that "A piece of a man is better than no man at all " and will use the bible to justify men who lack.
Hellllllllllll no
It's not a race thing Hon. Jerkoffs come in all shades and varieties, but the dust that clings to them is the same!!! I swear the last good day I had with my ex was our wedding day. Although he was just plain cruel once I was his wife. I've dated and been in relationships with men of every color of the spectrum and the entitlement, assumptions of gender roles, and actions are similar. For years I assumed I was the common denominator and gaslit hell out of myself, but all these videos of women of all walks of life, ages, and countries shows me it wasn't specifically a defect that I had. I have my issues like many, but this pattern is too common among so many women that it is glaring. And all the pushback from men over 4B really does highlight these fundamental attitudes that are the very reason why birth rates are dropping and women are opting out. I married for love. And I believed he truly loved me. But,I mistook his infatuation as passionate love. What he really wanted was to conquer and humble me...and a maid, joy toy, and arm candy for public events. He wanted to tame the mustang and have me dote on him constantly. When I realized he wasn't all that and a bag of chips as my students say, but a grown man who used every manipulation tool in his arsenal to control me and my spirit,I finally left him. Middle-aged now and had to rear my profoundly disabled son alone. Naturally, he abandoned us. Oh and he blamed me for our child's disabilities which is laughable because our son isa more impaired version of my ex. Ladies we can't expect or rely on someone else to save us. Nope. We have to save ourselves. Be the man that you would marry. Buy yourself that sparkly ring or whatever you want for yourself because the greatest love of all is to accept who you are. Life isn't a Bridgerton episode. As much as I love the show and thank Shonda for the visual fantasy,it is fiction at its best. If you have that kind of love and relationship that's awesome. Just know it's rare AF and it is okay to go it alone. Four B for the win!!!! If you want to join the movement we are here for you. If not, we wish you success, happiness, and love. Either way, women need to support each other. We are our tribe.
Keep telling your stories ladies. Older women, keep speaking your truth. There is a reason why women marched and fought for their rights. Living with men was never all that it was cracked up to be.
Yes you’ve all been ones the men you say you want. But why are only 1 in 4 of you getting married?
@@dcg590triggered ?
@@cookiegirl891the definition of "facts" is triggered?
You should try living with women it's hell...
**it's not their truth it's their experience, there's only the Truth....
Never married, no children. Made that decision when I was 14 years old… BEST. CHOICE. EVER!
Wise
I don't know you at all so you probably won't trust my advice, which I get. But I do want to say that 4 billion people in this world are men and there are so many kind hearted, self sacrificing men out there. If you don't want to get married, that is your choice. But I encourage you to try to make a male friend at the very least to learn a different side of of them then you are used to.
It saddens me deeply for her, but I'm grateful she's showing many young women not to settle.
It's a sad story. She couldn't rely on neither one of her spouses, a waste. It's not funny.
She chose them
All the more reason to stay away from these types of males. Better to be alone.
😩
all that was and it available men see themselves as superior to women worldwide it's a very rare man that can live a happy peaceful life w his wife @@raamyasharahla535
@@raamyasharahla535narcissistic comment.
I am glad the elders are telling their truth mind you most of them were married off starting at the age of 14, my mother got married at the age of 16 and my father was 21 🚩🚩🚩
His side of the family hates when I tell them that my father marrying my mother at 16 was predatory, ain’t nothing romantic about it and his neglectful, abusive, disrespectful behavior proved it.
My parents have been separated for 40 years but still legally married, my father has been living with the side chick for 41 years and I have two younger siblings from their Union which the side chick made sure she destroyed our sibling relationship ( spiteful b*tch) she is mad my father never divorced my mother, it’s important to note he changed the woman but not his behavior 🚩🚩
People like to believe a disrespectful, abusive man will change his behavior for the “right woman” but that’s simply not true.
Ladies if you are with a man that disrespects women QUIETLY make your exit out that relationship asap!
You are so right, and God bless and keep you for having the strength to be the one who tells the truth in your family. I know it's no easy feat firsthand ❤❤❤❤❤
Your mom should divorced him because if he dies, she will be left with his debts!
Thank you for sharing - and you are absolutely correct. The ones who are capable of change are perpetually asking for guidance, tips, and advice and you can regularly see that they are honestly doing the best they can (often with passable results).
40 YEARS?! Hope she has a hefty life insurance policy on him.
She might be holding on for afterlife purposes. I don’t know, but he has had her bound for a long time!
And I have witnessed how men will definitely change for who THEY want to change for. And that’s the only time they will change-WHEN THEY WANT TO.
None of the women in my family picked good husbands and they seem to be confused about why I am still single at 40+. What is sad is that there are still women out here who believe that their value comes from having a husband. Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad that you have your daughters and little sisters.
The roles have definitely changed. The women are the men and the men are the women. When I was growing up, a man was embarrassed to ask a women for anything but now, they want to be taken care of. Men are not looking for a relationship, they looking for help.
They are looking for a Mommy replacement.
For the so called Christians, a woman was literally designed and created to be a helper or helpmeet. Anything outside of that, you are not fulfilling your purpose. Men should not be ashamed for wanting help.
my fiancé is like that... 62 year old BM. He was a miserable person and couldn't tolerate my happiness. Leading up to the wedding, I let him move into my home. Big mistake... he acted like your 2nd husband. He did everything he could think of to make me unhappy. I sent him packing after praying for him to leave peacefully. Weak men emotionally abuse women. For the first time in my life I am single, safe,, and at peace. Love yourself, put God first, and wait while you smell the roses God blessed us with. , Our special journey is self love of the soul of God within... not outside of ourselves. 😂
AMEN!!!!!!!
Say this again please!
Move in YOUR home !?? Why
Come on, wisdom!
Blessing that he moved in for a short time and God allowed you to see who he really was. Wishing you well🙏🏽🌹
My momma always said “Don’t be a cleanup woman” some men are broken & broke smh 🤦🏿♀️ they also know when a woman is desperate. We gravitate & settle for ppl based on the level of our self esteem. BW & BM deserve healthy & healing love 💕
Now your momma said that,Also add what did your father say?
@@thementoringtime my daddy said “Don’t allow him to disrespect you, put his hands on you or embarrass you. Men do to you what you allow them to do. Love yourself enough to know what you deserve. When you love yourself first it will be easier to love others. Treat him the way you would want your sons to be treated. Be with someone who you would want your sons to become”
Facts
AMEN AMEN AMEN 🎉
@thementoringtime lmao you thought you did something 😂
"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option," Maya Angelou
My Dad was a single father of almost 10 kids, wonderful and responsible he taught me that a King takes care of a Queen not the other way round. I will never settle for less.
That part 💯💯💯❗
There are men like that......They should open a damn SCHOOL.
I ‘m sorry but I got stuck on “ almost 10 kids”.
@@GCMickens , 5 of his own kids and 4 his nephews. We were treated equally. Some men only have ONE kid and cannot even take care of them. Still living in their mothers homes at 40. Those kind of men are good at using women.
She comes from a different generation. All my aunts are just like her. They believe a piece of a man is better than no man and men of that generation had/have no problem using them to no end because of this. I was an observant child and saw my aunts constantly crying, fighting, cursing, and fussing over men and I vowed at a young age that would never be me. I married a man who was all roses at first, needless say I'm single and living my best drama free life because I ain't having none of it. I am zero tolerant of the foolery.
So true
Same here, but I skipped over the marriage part thank God
Facts 🎉
Amen!
I've seen it first hand too and it ain't cool,I refuse to play that game.
I went thru this in my first marriage too! Felt like I had a whole little boy to raise! Helped him to rise up in life with his career just for him to leave me. Well, 12 yrs later, I put myself thru Nurse Practioner school and me and my Son are living life. When he does see me, it's like I'm looking at a ghost! Nothing but defeat in his face. NEVER will I choose a man that wont take care of my wants as well as my needs! Loved your storytime❤❤❤
Woooow!!.... powerful. 😊
Was he good in bed at least?
So why did you marry him in the first place???? Sounds like you chose wrong...who's fault is that??? Maybe deep down you know that's the only man that will ever marry you.
@@julesgordon1109 ......
Congratulations that you walked away and upgraded your life, we all make mistakes, the key is to learn from them which you clearly did. Congratulations on achieving that goal career wise, stay blessed!
I don’t know how or why you were in my feed, but I’m so happy that you were. I’m at work in the bathroom crying because your story is my mother‘s story. She married my father twice and each time he abandoned her and me. It seemed like only his needs and his wants were met.. my mother lost everything behind him, her health and so many other things and he didn’t care. She died at the age of 50, 16 years ago. She loved him so much. He was her first of everything, and he took advantage of that. I didn’t realize it until she went to rest with the Lord. I find comfort in knowing that her heart break is gone. Her worry is gone now
Thank you for sharing your story and your life lessons. bless you and your family sorry for the long post
thank you for sharing god bless you
Sad 😔 All you can do in her honor is not to make the same mistakes she did. Shalawam.
Your mother's story is mine. And so many other ladies too. I hope and pray the following generations never know being destroyed by heartless men.
I can't believe I'm 67 and I never married. I did manage to finish a career with a great pension. I also got to take care of both parents before they passed, one after the other.
This 74 year old doctor: his family has lived across the street from my family for like .... 70 years. As we grew up, as I travelled the world and periodically went back to our home country, he never ever showed any interest in me.
Then I retired; everybody here knows about my pension. I also inherited all of my father's assets, including the house.
And get this:
*Ready? OK*
This man had the NERVE to propose AFTER I retired and AFTER I lost both parents. And remember: we never dated and we were never friends. We basically don't know eachother, since my life was overseas.
I gladly told him NO (he too has a pension, but it doesn't compare to mine).
Can you imagine the nerve of certain men???
Yea..he's looking for some money...run sis..🏃🏿♀️
@@sjtalksandlife : Indeed. I disappeared from there.
So, they are still trying to scam retired women? Truly there's a bunch of scumbag men for every age group.
Some men think ALL women are desperate to be married. NOT!!!
Please...i know you almost laughed in his face. Some people think that because you don't tell all you know, that you don't know what's going on. 😂
My father use to say,” Youth is wasted on the young” If we only knew then what we know now. Red flags everywhere. 😟😟😟
🤦🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️💯🎯👍🏾🤷🏾♀️
That's why they like the young ones. They haven't learned yet.
Especially asking for my phone number 🚩
Red flags, stop signs, wise counsel and everything else and still ignore it!!!!ARGGHHHGaHgRhfarghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sadly, some women will tolerate these kinds of men as long as they are not cheaters. Conversely, some women will tolerate cheaters as long as these men pay all the bills.
Some women will tolerate cheaters who don't even pay the bills.
💯 ANYTHING just to say that they have a man..... 🤦🏿♀️
@@a.r.tavares1322 That’s when the women have lost all self-respect and all self-love. Truly a low point.
@@jaeeluv Yes, indeed. Very sad.
Wonder if she felt like she couldn't expect more from the second husband since those weren't his kids?
Lived it! 12 years, breadwinner. Went through the most for the least thinking one day he would turn around because he'd see that I loved him. Nothing changed. Constant arguements for no reason, he couldn't keep a job, verbally abusive and emotionally unavailable. Took me a while to see it. 12 years of my youth I let him take because I didn't know how to love me more. I finally told him he had to go. I had talked until I was all talked out. When I left that marriage, the doors opened up for me. We tend to hold on to things that aren't for us. We must love ourselves more than we love these men and live for us. Know your worth and that you deserve better and go get it. Having a man ain't nothing if he doesn't know how to be one.
💯👍🏾💯
Old saying, "He should love you more."😊
It's better to be by yourself than with someone who doesnt value you.
That man sounds like a nightmare...Financially abusive. Wonder if he used his money that he could save, from not paying for anything while living with this lady, to take take other women on dates. Would like to know how she finally got away from that horrible situation.
A nightmare SHE PICKED. Blame lies with her.
@@dcg590
Super cute statement and all, but no. Both of them were responsible!
At any time, he could have chosen to be a decent human and corrected the error of his own ways. But, he didn't!
Bottom line though. He hated himself and his own feminine aspect. And thus, projected, mistreated, as well redirected all that hate-filled-ness from himself, onto her.
@@phoenixrising2231 After analyzing a ONESIDED STORY, not both sides of the story, just her side? that's your conclusion? Damn-Damn-Damn just Damn.
@millions2nette. You, "wonder if he used his money" I wonder if she's telling the truth! {it's 2 sides to every story} BTW, when your married it's not he's or her money, it's their money.
@@CommonSenceGUY79 Historical statistics alone confirm that things such as she described having experienced were NOT AT ALL UNCOMMON!
Patriarchal influence and conditioning most definitely had it's part in her staying.
That being said. It's not her, "fault", nor responsibility to bare alone! Grown 🍑 "men" ARE FULLY RESPONSIBLE AS WELL! 🎯💯
And, whether male or female. I call um' like I see um'! So, no shade to the real ones out there! Of which, for all I know, you may very well be one. So, not, as they say, "coming for you". Just pointing out the proven historical FACTS.
Grandma said she was making “a couple of coins”!! ❤❤❤❤
#Lol🎉
Aww shes sweet❤
i was in a similar situation... but i sobbed cried and prayed many nights, God heard my prayers, gave me a way out, gave us an apartment, now im single, whole, restored, saved, sanctified and set free... Thank You Father for the Blood of Jesus Christ... out of his mercy and his grace God gave us a way to communicate with him so he can lavish his love on us... ask for his transformative power and he will set you free from anything...
Amen 🙏🏾
Amen ❤️🙌🏾
There’s so many women living and surviving in unnecessary hurt with men who are absolutely selfish in marriage. This is such a shame and sad life experience 😔
Thank you for sharing. You were TOO GOOD for those "men."
@RONALD-mf6dl You need to get out of women's spaces and STOP H8ing on this ELDER'S TRUTH. Weirdo. Smh...
@RONALD-mf6dlthese women are victims of their own choices. Bad decisions equals bad outcome...that's a universal rule that applies to EVERYONE.
I'm over 40 and single, no children, never married. Been with several men who made me hate myself. It took a long time to get my self-love back. It'd be nice to find someone, but if it never happens, I'm happy being with myself.
Me too, sis. It's amazing how my loser exes always find some other woman they can mooch off of. I'm done. Men are a DISAPPOINTMENT.
@@brunoqnzbk7891 Don't blame all men. Are any of you consulting the Lord? Do you attend church, read the scriptures and put them into practice? God is the only true protection you have, he can guide you to a good man. However his words are often ignored
@Vigilant40 unfortunately the majority are not so great, evidence is showing. 😢
Amen
Yes because you are enough!
Some women just happy to have a man. Any type of man! If someone in your life is bringing you unhappiness and not showing up with financial responsibility; what's the point??? Please ladies practice and recognize some "self love"!🤗❣
That’s why I can’t say it enough, we must be ALONE to get to know us!
Marriage is not the flex some women on social media try to present it to be. Beware of these IG and FB marriages. A lot of that is faking for clicks and likes.
Yep, ppl been snapping out n marriage's ending in gunfire n the children r the only survivors. When the late couples story is told, all u see is tik toks n live's where their making it look like a fairytale relationship.
One guy set his wife on fire,literally sparked his lighter n flamed her. He told the police after he was arrested that " He wasn't even that close to her, like that" !!!!!😵💫
Marriage is the flex when u married to the right person❤
Yo u can fake till u make it at job but not when it comes to relationships! 😅 Even tho a relationship with man is like having a full time job since they take soo damb much from u!😢 I think the happiest couples never post anything about their relationship online! U know those couples who actually like eachother & laugh together! Those older couples who still flirt with eachother. It's so fun to watch a couple who have fun together & genuinely love eachother! But alot of couples just hate eachother...I'm like why are these 2 even together? He hates her clearly or they hate eachother! Or she just thinks he suuuuuucks because he does! Like she's sitting there glaring at him so hard I'm just waiting for his head to catch on fire😅!
Here Listening to yall sour grapes complain. Face it, yall aren't qualified for he type of man yall want. It's a sad reality😅😂😅
Correct
👏👏👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💯💯💯✔️‼️
It breaks my heart when BW agree with BM saying $30 is too much for a date. When the get a million $ contract, they go find and marry Ms. Becky or Ms. Sanchez and give them the "Champagne Life" Stay solid, Stay woke. Don't settle!
Well ladies, be the kind of women that makes a man (not just a black one) happy to treat you well. But there is more that one way for a man to be good to a woman other than spending money. Look at how he shows up for you. To be honest, being the saver that I am, I happy for cheap dates especially if we are married. I want to see a big nest egg in the bank and you can't do that spending a lot.
BW need to stop having conversations about money with men, period. Men will show you how much they will care for you by the first or second date. Any selfishness is a red flag.
How do you know her ex-husband was black?
@@MsLotusBloomsIf a man doesn't think a woman is worthy of good treatment he should choose someone he wants to treat well.
@@KCinspireMEI mean most likely. Bm are usually dusty too
Listening to this is excruciating. You deserve so much more. He didn’t deserve you, but YOU deserve YOU.
Whitney sang it best “ Learning to love yourself z, it is the greatest love of all”
I dont deal with CHEAP men. Men who dont pay them way. Leave moochers alone.
You know what? I needed a new car so my husband wrote a $30k check for one for me. Women need to understand their worth and stop settling for less from losers!
Stinginess is a key sign that a person doesn’t even like you…Let alone love.
@@CodyCole80 I have learned that to be true. Because if you care about someone you don't mind sharing things.
@@Willa4420 🎯 Bingo!!!
Ladies, I'm 62 years young, & I permanently got rid of MY Migraine Headache back in 1986 and NEVER Remarried again! I came close again two more times, but by the Grace of The Almighty, TMH loved me enough to always show me--in those two important relationships--EXACTLY what was REALLY WRONG with EACH ONE of those guys, BEFORE I decided to go through with Marrying each them (and it was years apart for each relationship, too)!
Yes I've had a few dates since then but I usually "went Dutch" & learned the value of keeping my legs CLOSED! As a result, I've been living CELIBATE since 2008, and I enjoy the Solitude of being by myself to this VERY day, rather than having "settled" for ANOTHER SELFISH SACK OF ISH! 💩💩
Going through that nightmare ONCE was enough in my Life....And it left enough Emotional scars in me to where I've NEVER Tolerated any BS from ANY OTHER Narcissistic sack of ish Pen!s since!! 💩💩 I'd rather be by myself than to settle for "ground-beef" when I deserve a DIAMOND! 💎 👏🏽
NO Regrets--Plain & Simple!!
Ma'am you're 62 years OLD ...you're one of those women who love to fool yourself that you're still young. Your a senior citizen😅😂
I like the way she talks lol. “I thought I knew a lil something something”
She's the coolest gran❤
Honest.😊
Listen to your elders. They know. They’ve been there and done that.🙏🏿❤️
I can't pick them either. I always expect people to be grown and tell their truth.
THIS!!! The deception is Real😢 You would think being humble and honest would be appreciated...then they act confused and like a victim that cant take accountability then claim BW are the problem. Its up to us Ladies to set rhe standard and take no shorts, period. I wish you Peace and a long happy life my Sistar.🎉
Better to be alone then live in misery.
AMEN AMEN, Sister 🎉
💯
It is amazing! The fear of being alone is what causes you to enter into these non reciprocal relationships. You end up being alone anyways!!!!
Sad but true am learning
@eternalabundance39 look up the personal development school. Subconscious programming. Game changer. You can heal that unlovable, defective, broken, core wound in 30 days. It will change your life. It is literally like factory resetting your brain.
Yes. Because you’re going in it in fear. Fear of being alone. Nothing works in fear
A lot of women knows deep down that they're not qualified for the men they want so they settle. This is a reality that women will never admit to.
So true,this is what happened to me. I didn't want to be alone and ended marrying men who were not good for me.
You must be a great mom to raise daughters like that. Guess what, you win!
Thank you for so much for sharing your message. I was married before my husband passed away 13 years ago due to heart issues. We have a son together. He is now 14 years old. This is confirmation to me how life would’ve been like if I had a continue to be dating the person that I was with for a year. At the beginning, he loved on me and then all of a sudden he stopped wanting to take me out and he would not get me anything for my birthday or Valentine’s Day. Instead, he got me candy from a shelter, homeless shelter for veterans for Valentine’s Day. I ended the relationship because he Moved in to me and my sons home without me discussing it. And I think that’s the best decision I ever made thanks to God.❤
? Those last sentences were confusing.
So glad she is surrounded by women that love and help her. Its a cautionary tale. She had to pay for everything and still this man wouldn't even show her appreciation and love on a vacation!!! Smh. Sis I want you to go back to the Bahamas with your daughters and sisters and have an amazing time! You deserve that! Women gotta stick together because they sure can't depend on a man for nothing! Not even love & support. Smh.
You can't really think every man on the planet is unreliable and untrustworthy, do you?
I'm 61, divorced with two kids and grandchildren. I was in the Air Force then. He was like mad I made more than him. So get a cup of ambition why don't you? Tell you what, he wasn't going to no Bahamas with me acting like that. After the marriage ended, I learned love and commitment isn't easy. I wish you well
This is a very sad story that many women live. My grandmother taught us valuable lessons when it came to men. It took a while to click for me. But babyyyy once you got it you got it
I will NEVA settle without winning and then I’m still out and winning
Put yourself First Ladies 💕✨❤️
Man sometimes people ain’t worth the ground they walk on. I’m glad she still able to smile about it
Focus on your career
Celibate for life
Never getting married
Never having children except through adoption when I am financially buoyant
Date for fun
Instead of looking for a husband I'm looking for like minded female friends for a lifetime to co house split bills and travel the world together, you know actually going 50.50
Take care of your family friends loved ones and community
I love that idea 💡✨🪄😌💚
children are selfish and financially draining. Be prepared. We spin the same fairytales about children as we do about husbands
I have been there, and never again will I be with a cheap man, a stingy man. Some men just want to take advantage of you women. Please always have your own. Your own home, money, car, a good job, and create a business. Don't date potential!
My first husband was wealthy. He was stingy and controlling. He was a trust fund guy and let me spend my money working retail on him before he revealed he had a trust fund. Just gross. They can be financially abusive from the other side, too
These problems are not just money, and having the things you mentioned aren't guaranteed to fix anything. Women "have their own" and still get treated badly.
@@xletragedyxfinancially abusive?????? His money was never yours to begin with.
@julesgordon1109 spoken like an abuser. He didn't want me to work so I could enrich his property, then wouldn't buy me things I wanted or needed if he didn't agree with it. Do you know what financial abuse is?
@@xletragedyx This person is not worth arguing with. They were accusing and shaming others here also
Thanks for sharing, so the moral of the story is you can do bad all by yourself and take time to choose the right partner or stay single. 😊
Through your pain my Dear, you have educated generations of women . We salute you for telling us your truth. So glad you have the love of your daughters and your sisters.❤
Basically she had nothing but scrubs, better off alone vs renting a man!
Never called it “renting a man” a before but if that isn’t the best description I don’t know what is. 🤷🏽♀️
Lol I like how you put that 😂
That is literally all she had access to. She isn't some great beauty or any other kind of beauty.
@@dkbullock4871and you’re not handsome either, people marry people who aren’t conventionally attractive all the time
@@enyonamagbemadzo8684 says the woman with a ton of makeup on and a damn wig! I don't think you even understand what handsome means. The point, since you're slow, is WOMEN who end up with lesser men time and again is their fault. You all think you deserve something that you aren't. She's actually mad at the man SHE picked! Why not be mad at herself?!? Why didn't she pick a man with a damn job?!? Because she is as stupid as the rest of the women talking like her. But you're not going to blame her. No, you'd prefer making this about me. I'm doing just fine without walking around with a disguise. Can you say the same???
“In case y’all didn’t notice”…grandma said keep up, stop thinking slow!! 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
I heard her very well
It's amazing how our mother's use to say, "I ain't one of your little friends ". But now, we have turned into that little friend. Because of my grandma I never remarried, obtained my degrees, and became a business and properties owner
And this is the “black love” our generation idolise. Go where you are celebrated
I wasted almost 3 years on a terrible relationship. I did so much damage to my mental and financial health. I put up with physical abuse and when I look back on it, crazy levels of misogyny and extreme disrespect. It was incredibly hard to leave and break out of the cycle of abuse. There’s that little voice inside and of course his voice telling you how if you leave you’re going to end up alone and leaves you questioning if you even deserve better. Then one day I realized that although I wanted children and a happy home with a partner, even if I stayed, it was never going to happen. All I’d ever get was more of the same. I realized I would never want any potential child of mine to see their mother be treated how I was allowing myself to be treated. I had to grieve what I had hoped for the relationship. I had to grieve letting go of this person. Even though the relationship was the worst time in my life , there were still good times and the person isn’t ever all bad. I had to face that I may indeed end up alone and that I probably wasn’t going to have kids. It’s been a hard process and it hasn’t been instant happiness. For the first time in a long time I have peace though and dreams again. I no longer have to live in survival mode and carry another adult on my back. Having time for self care and being able to travel again have been great. It’s going to be a long road. It’s crazy how much I missed out on and how much I set myself back. Ultimately, I’m glad I didn’t stay another day longer than I did. I can’t imagine how much lower I would have had to climb back from if I hadn’t gotten out when I did.
Yes Maam, you can be with someone and be alone! Better to treat yourself well and enjoy the love and companionship of the family and friends that love you! Bad men destroy your peace, and if you are older, they be having you anxious and insecure, like you young and foolish!! I choose peace, praise the Lord!
Many posters are taking the wrong message from her story. She wasn't advocating being unmarried. That's why she gave a shoutout to her two daughters she loves dearly. She wouldn't have had them without at least one of the marriages. And because of those marriages, she won't be dying alone and unaided in her old age. She got what she wanted out of those marriages.
Keyword, the Lord. Seek him out and he will keep you from these things
The men even weaponize sleep.
They do weaponize sleep and complain we don't give them enough when that's all they do. lol
My dad always told me don’t deal with a man who needs you to work as the woman of the house. The man should be able to handle all the bills by himself. Women work because they feel like it or have to not because the man is not being the provider he should be.
I appreciate older women keeping it real ❤
I am so glad you young girls, Gen Z and Millenials, are so much smarter about men and relationships than me as Gen X and my mom as Boomer. My two daughters tolerate no bullshit. I'm so proud of y'all 😍
I wish our generation had the benefit of social media more available to everyone back when I was growing up. Even after observing my parents's bad marriage, I just thought that was an exception and most of them were good. It's only now that the reality of dating and marriage are being exposed worldwide.
Talk for yourself because I was a smart Gen XX !!
A lot of these women make the same mistakes. A lot. Stand with the Lord and many of these things can be avoided and remedied.
Women who aren't qualified for a good man be complaining on the internet instead of facing the reality that they're just not qualified, periodt!!!😅😂
Umm. There are so many young ladies 40 and up, desperate to get married and have children, that they are settling. I see it everyday.
This just showed me that choosing my next partner I should take this extremely seriously. To know to be patient and understand my worth. To wait on Gods timing and not think I know better just because I feel good in the moment.👌🏽
That's definitely the way to go
I love this comment! Good for you! I truly hope that the elder is at a much happier place in her life. I would say too, signing up to be somebody’s care package can bring about these results.
If a man doesn’t consistently demonstrate the instinct and willingness to protect, provide, and cover, it might be a sign that that’s not what you want if you do in fact want a man who does have those instincts and that willingness.
Most men are possibly not going to respect, appreciate, and do right by a woman who has shown them that they will accept just about any and everything from them, particularly all while acting in the capacity of provider instead of them. It is bound to end in the way that it began.
Lots of males are looking to be wifed up by females these days and for some couples, that’s what they both want. However, if that’s not a woman wants, it’s best to not start it that way.
Smart girl
Yes!! Take every relationship seriously because it can make or break you.
You must date to marry & don’t try to fix a broken man
SPEAK TO THIS GENERATION MOM🌹🌹🌹🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🌹🌹🙏🏽🙏🏽🌹👏🏽
I am 63, separated and waited to get married to 2x divorcee, I settled and I am paying for it. Never settle, life has too much to offer. Now won't help with Texas $10k divorce starting lawyer fee. I married a "boyman", my BAD mistake..
Not the IRISH!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 He not only let his lady pay, but the NERVE to try to irritate her skin. 🤦🏽♀️
@AlbertNewton-bf6cr indeed
@AlbertNewton-bf6cr no sir. 😌
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@marissachapman1022 just shameful 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Marriage no. 2 would’ve lasted all of two weeks. I would have gotten it annulled if I could have ‘cause ain’t no MF’n WAY! 🚮
‼️☝🏿
She's obviously not telling us the full story of her marriages. There are two sides to every story. There must be reasons why she got married in the first place, and why she stayed as long as she did. People tend to turn off their critical thinking skills when someone is telling them what they want to hear.
@@mel2000 Yours is the only balanced, non-emotional, and curse free comment here. This is the worst bunch of wretched miserable bw i've ever seen!
Exactly. I married and he switched it up quick……and so did it. I divorced him within one year. I already had a man waste my time…..but I was young and dumb. Not allowing it anymore.
@@mel2000: Take into consideration that she’s of a different generation. At one time, if you were sleeping with someone or dating them for any length of time, unless you wanted to be seen as a wh*re, you got married.
On top of that, divorce was seen as shameful and scandalous, sinful even. It was to be avoided at all costs. People, especially women, were expected to stay in unhappy marriages and put up with hell and high water. Not to mention that many if not most women were financially dependent on men.
The most love I have ever received has been from my women friends. Always celebrate our birthdays together , our joys and successes and supported each other through our pains and sorrows. They are wonderful people.
Ever wonder how many men are raised by their mamas to be waited on hand and foot, never learn to clean, cook, take care of business. Men who only think of their own needs. I'm so fortunate that my husband works, pays our bills, and helps take care of business. I guess I got a good one for the last 20 yrs.
I have experienced emotional abuse from every adult in my life. I totally understand her saying that had she not been given love from her children, then she would have never experienced it in her lifetime. SMH
I was waiting on her to say ..." she gotten on the plane and left his ass!!!"
This is what happens when you invalidate your children.
They grow up believing they are not deserving of being a priority in their adult relationships.
Keep building your channel, Queen! We gon’ work together. ❤️
Thank you Looooord I woke up over 20 years ago. I am now 45 and are happy aaaaaaall by myself.
If the man that might come in my life do not do the "bare minimum" which in my case is not the bare minimum but a damn long and high list he better NOT COME NO WAY NEAR ME.
She just wanted to be loved. Sometimes wanting love you may have never received may not always be because you didn’t love yourself, you just didn’t know. Maybe you would hope to come across others who recognized that and wouldn’t exploit that. None of what happened to her was her fault. It was their loss.
I agree
She sounds like a very sweet and caring lady that only wanted to feel loved and desired by her man. Instead of always being the primary breadwinner. Sounds like you were picking broke, lazy and trifling men. Glade to hear that your daughters are taking care of you at this stage of life. Blessings to you and family
It's not that bw in her generation was picking these type of men intentionally but moreso it was what was available to them in that era of time. Most if not all of the bm behaved in similar ways back in the day. Some were lucky but most were not.
Was she picking them or was that all that was available?Let’s start having those type of conversations.
❤@@IAMHERE486
@@IAMHERE486 It also has to be said some people (male and female) present a completely different front while courting. They are a different person until the relationship is 'permanent'. you will find similar stories from those who experience domestic violence - 'He was so sweet until we got married'. So sometimes you pick what appears to be a nice person, only to find out that persona was a lie.
@@khrisi9410 That's an overstatement. That's akin to saying that God left these dear loving women to the mercy of wolves. Is the Lord being sought out on guidance for who to, and who not to see? Is there obedience to the Lord in all aspects of these women's lives? Is sex being had before marriage? I ask these questions because there are countless women here complaining but these are guaranteed ways of filtering out the bad choices. Regular dating won't help
People always want to disrespect our kindnesses. 💞👍.
I love her & I love reading y’all stories. Being single & childless isn’t as bad as society tries to shame & make it seem. Choose yourself & choose peace
our community of women are the ones who come thru for us when men drop the ball.
I don't care who it is, you teach a person how to treat you. What you allow and accept is what you'll get. It doesn't matter if it's a man or woman, you show your vulnerability by what you say and/or how you act. Love yourself first and it will open your eyes to what you allow and accept from your significant other. Have boundaries, requirements, and consequences, because most women don't. Most relationships are exactly how she described, "one-sided." This applies to both women and men. However, for this post, it's specifically for women.
Ladies, never date nor marry a cheap man, I'm not talking about budgeting, I'm talking about a cheap man. We all should budget to ensure we maximize our money and our ability to finance a car or get a mortgage. A cheap man will spend your money and look at you like you are crazy if you ask for a dime. You will never have anything nice either. My mom's 3rd husband was a cheap man. We needed a new refrigerator, he bought a used one that had a roach nest in the engine. The next year when he went away on vacation to visit his daughter my Mom remodeled the kitchen and living room. She had an exterminator come in before the new furniture came. My Mom and Dad her 2nd Husband never played around with that 2nd hand mess because in some cases like the fridge you get roaches. Ladies do not start nothing while dating because you will have to continue it if you get marry to the guy. Also, stay away from jealous men, jealous men who have issues with your job and your ability to buy whatever it is you like. I didn't pay attention the first time jealousy reared its ugly head with an ex. Know your worth ladies, know your worth.
What a lovely lady. thank you for sharing your story. I'm happy you had the strength to walk away from those men that clearly didn't know what they had.
Why did this BREAK my heart. 😢❤
@YshoniMashinini-ey7cl
Poor decision making and poor mate selectivity…not once but twice. No sympathy here.
My sister has been with the same man for 30 years. He never married her. She works AND takes care of the house. She's not on the mortgage and won't be on the deed. She's never been on a vacation, because he doesn't want to go. They don't ever go out, because he doesn't want to go. When you think you need a man, your life becomes all about his.
I am so sorry. Please pray for her.
Your sister and I have same story accept I'm leaving once my daughter graduates high school. Not that long to go. We put her first and want her to have both parents and we don't miss anything but soon as she's out, I'm out.
What😮 no house for her.
I have 2 Wonderful daughters too...My best friends, so proud of them. ❤❤❤❤
Wow, I want to give you a hug. Thank you for sharing this with us. But it’s true that you don’t learn some things except on your own skin. Once you go through something like this you learn to appreciate on another level what it means to be in a relationship and what is your own worth. Hope you have all the love and warmth in your life now ❤
I hope this lady sees this!!! I just clicked on this video and fell in love with my new Sistah Mama!!!! What a lovely and strong spirit you have, ma’am. I am so sorry for what you went through with those underdeveloped men, because you surely deserve to be cherished and protected!!! Keep going, and love from San Antonio, Texas. ❤️❤️❤️
This just pop up on my phone. I think it was sent from God, along with all the beatiful comments.Thanks a million. I hope
This story low key made me tear up. Every woman deserves, protection, love and security. I hope she is happy
I’m glad she’s sharing this. Thank you, mother ❤.