(S2E2) WHEN TO LEAVE A HUSBAND | Christian • Women • Black • Homemaker | Cook With Me
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- THE MODEST FITTING is an online women's boutique featuring maxi dresses and long skirts that embody modesty, femininity, and beauty. Sign up for my newsletter to be notified about when my first collection drops.
WEBSITE www.themodestf...
INSTAGRAM / themodestfitting
Carrot Cupcake Recipe - • Claire Saffitz Makes C...
#BlackHomemaker #ChristianWife #Housewife
It’s so sad that some women want to marry potential but you can’t marry someone’s dreams and be mad that they never materialize.
I think rage is something that shouldn't ever be accepted. It's understandable for a man to get mad once in a while or raise his voice - he's human. But a man who easily flys into fits of anger, yelling, or talking harshly for no reason needs to be called to a higher standard. It is emotionally immature and can be abusive and trust-eroding depending on how severe it is. If at all possible, wives of these men should go stay with a family member or a friend and return home only when he has established care with a licensed therapist. And ladies, if you are dating a guy who has a short fuse, even if he's awesome in every other way, be careful before agreeing to marry him. Marriage will not change him or fix his anger problem. Life is hard enough, so partner with a gentle person who you don't have to tiptoe around.
💯💯💯
I'm married to a man who struggles with rage. the warning signs were there when we were dating, we eaven had a few incidence of physical abuse while dating. i demanded counseling threw our chirch before we got engaged and thought that would male things ok. jumb ahead, married 14 years now and have 4 amazing children. he took a job that coused him a great deal of stress and all that rage came back along with the abuse. this time the abuse wasn't just directed tword me, but my oldest daughter as well. all the kids were effected by the violent outbursts and were scared for when daddy came home. i did end up taking the kids and staying at my brother's house for a while and reached out to our church once again. he almost left us. he threatened leagal action. he was looking to move out of the house. i was praying hard, but didn't go back. my criteria was that he quit that job, the outbursts stopped and we got marriage counseling. he wasn't willing to go to counseling. he quit the job. the outbursts are less often and less severe. i remind often that i need him to gey is rage in check, with our good lords help, and I'm praying for him. i married him, i chose that. i have a responsibility to protect my children, but i also have a responsibility to fight for my marriage. to do both i need to create boundaries, which is not easy for me to do. I'm naturally submissive, but my responsibilities, with God's help, as a mom and wife are more powerful then my nature. my trust has been broken, we are healing it together, it's an uphill battle, but all things arw possible with God.
@@peacefulhome6 Wow that sounds incredibly challenging and you sound so strong 💕 Setting boundaries is really tough for me too. Adrienne Everheart has some good RUclips videos on having boundaries in difficult relationships. God bless, I pray things get better and better 🥰
My first husband ( I hate having to say that) was like that. When I started dating him and his friends told me he was really grumpy before he met me and he has become a happier man...I should have taken that as a clue. A man who isn't happy with or by himself is not going to be happy years into a marriage.
Omg, so true!!!
Amen to all of this! As I support and encourage women, one common thread I see is, we enter relationships from our own position of lack. Lack of knowing our ourselves, knowing our worth, knowing God and what God says about us and knowing how deeply He loves us. When we lack… we will choose lack… hence creating scenarios you’re sharing in this video. My heart cries and my mama arms ache to hold every woman who lacks… and speak words of life, you are God’s masterpiece… you are deeply loved by God…you are uniquely and wonderfully hand made by God…choose from that harvest of knowledge and understanding! ❤️
Beautiful and we agree👏🏾
Amen
Amen!
Amen sister, thank you! Much love to you 🙏🏽❤️
Amen 🙏🏾
Amen to this message! More churches should teach these principles. I think if they did,so many Christian ladies/young ladies wouldn't be tolerating addiction,abuse,adultery,etc thinking that is their cross to bear. Thanks for sharing this message...Love your videos. They are truly a blessing
I totally agree. When when I was engaged to my husband I made it clear that if he followed in his dad‘s footsteps of being an alcoholic or if he cheated on me then our marriage would be over. He took my ultimatum to heart and he stop drinking. When it comes to issues like this is very important for us women to stand our ground and to tell our husbands or or our husbands to be what really expect from that.
No wife should be expected to put up with adultery. I agree with the advice about the husband who is unwilling to work.
I was talking to a lady in the grocery store. We got on the subject of church. She said she stopped going because her husband won't go. I asked if she could go alone. She said yes. She didn't want to go alone. Come on lady. Just go. Maybe he will go if you do!
This was the case with our family! I took the kids he followed and one day we found the right church for us and it all clicked for him. Thank you Lord 🙏🏻💗
@@Itiswell. amen!
She's a fool. Now they BOTH lose out.
Bindi,the more I listen to your videos, the more I realize that I was raised quite badly, or lacking.Zero character lessons on womanhood.but to be fair, if I consider how my parents and step-parents were raised,I can see how/why this happened.i made really bad decisions for myself and for my marriage. I chose to marry someone with a drinking problem,which has caused me so much hardship.he does however work hard,and have a good respect for women in all other areas. I really wish I knew all this 25yrs ago.but I do believe that God has grace for us,even when we mess up so badly.i myself am not a walk in the park.i just wish my husband would come to church with me,so that we can overcome our troubles with the help of Christ.
@@michelledebruyn3757 Sis, I encourage you to fast and pray. This is a spiritual battle. Read Ephesians 6. God delivered me from heavy marijuana use, fornication and witchcraft. I stand with you. I'm praying.
This is well said. Many women (who picked bad men) will say that all men are terrible and evil but, in reality, most men aren't bad guys and those women just picked bad ones. These women take no responsibility for ignoring the signs that the man was bad. Is it their fault that he was bad? No. He chose to do bad things, but they chose to ignore the clues that he was bad and go through with the relationship/marriage anyway. If someone is a thief and steals little things from you, a pen, a shirt, etc., and you choose to ignore that, then you are partially responsible when that person steals your wallet. Marriage is serious and there are serious implications on the rest of your life, so don't ignore red flags. Everyone is human and everyone makes mistakes but a pattern of bad behavior is not a mistake.
Can you please talk specifically about detrimental verbal abuse? I have seen examples of how that damages the children when allowed for lack of creating a boundary and/or not leaving when boundary is not accepted.
Yes, this needs to be a conversation. So often angry men blame verbal abuse, yelling, or constantly snapping at their family members on stress or on their wives or children. Women shouldn't be afraid to set firm boundaries around how they and their children are spoken to. I believe the book "Boundaries in Marriage" addresses this and provides a sound strategy on how to deal with it.
I think a lot of women tolerate a lot of things in courtship and pursue to marriage because they thinks they can get any better or don’t to be alone.
Right! A lot of women don’t leave their parents home and straight into their marital home, therefore they don’t know how to stand on their own two feet. They end up being a married single woman.
A woman shouldn't have to live alone first before marriage.
@@katrinamalone5927 I want to live alone .Truly it would give me a sense of independence and I would be able to hold myself accountable .I want to pay my own bills ,budget and leaen how to be comfortable with being alone .That is just me .And many other young women
@@quelquun2018 Biblically, a woman shouldn't live alone before she gets married. Women are not designed to be "independent".
I never tolerated anything through courtship. Sometimes, people do not show their true colors until they get what they want... and sometimes, people change for the worse.
My husband only decided after our children were born he would not provide for me. He was a hard worker and was paid very well. He did provide a life I couldn't afford to give my kids on my income alone. And I couldn't take away what my kids recieved from having both of us living with them. The results were I missed my children growing up for all the hours I worked to provide for myself in the lifestyle he chose. It was like having a roommate that could afford all the bills on his own with ease but I still had to pay something to live there. It hurt and sometimes I was not in godly character. I had to forgive my husband. The results on my kids were they are all hard workers. They are all kind. The sons that are married are providers to their wives. They took the good from their dad and as a father their was a lot of good. Yet, they were also able to see his selfishness towards me hurt the whole home and don't want to repeat that. All my kids desire a biblical complementary marriage and home. I still work and I still pray God will save my husband and give him a new heart and new desires. I picked my husband when I was unsaved. God saved me after I was married. I may retire with a pension to provide for myself but I hope my husband ask me to come back in the home as a housewife before I retire. It would be lovely to experience such a miracle of heart change. I hope whenever I come home I will be a better housewife then I was 18 years ago when he told me to get a full time job. Whatever you do don't be bitter with your husband. Whatever you decide to do, do in Christ, love and forgiveness.
I love this and I hope things are going well for you and your husband now. Praying 🙏
AMEN!!!! My father was/is a severe alcoholic and I told my now husband when we were dating if he chose to continue to drink I wouldn’t be with him. He hasn’t drank since that day 8 years ago.
Hi Bindi. I really enjoyed your video. Unfortunately growing up in church and being taught that a wife should obey her husband in all things, that teaching can muddy the waters of when it’s acceptable for a wife to put her foot down. Many churches teach a wife obeys in all things and does not properly teach the unification of the husband and wife and how they should discuss things before moving forward. Even if they teach discussion, they still say the husband makes the final decision. That would be okay about things that don’t really matter, but wives need to know they have the ability to say they are not ready to move forward on some decisions. For example, buying a new home, moving away, having another child, maybe even if the children are to be homeschooled. Just because a husband says it’s time to have another child shouldn’t mean that because she is supposed to be in submission, that she has to say ok to having a child. I think in a lot of cases women have the wrong idea that they must do everything that they are told. Also, a lot of times wives go to their pastors or pastor’s wives about their husbands and unfortunately those in charge don’t have the woman’s back. They are told if they are obedient and loving enough the husband will change and many women go back with no tools to cope and no help with their situation other than that. I’m thankful that you teach women that there are times that they need to put their foot down and be firm with boundaries.
I am so glad to hear this vlog in particular. Because in listening to another vlog of yours, it talks about not stepping in and taking over doing what your husband is responsible for doing. If they do not manage money well and the family repeatedly faces shut-off notices and eviction notices. It is very stressful not knowing if you'll have lights on, water shut-offs and heat turn offs. But, I do believe, however stressful this type of living situation is, that a wife should remain respectful but firm.
I'm so glad I clicked on part two. I needed this clarification/differentiation between criticism and boundaries. The line feels so thin for me.
I don't think that a man should allow his family to disrespect his wife and vice versa!
I love these skirts and dresses!!
I am so so thankful for your obedience! I can’t waiting to purchase some of your clothing and I am so thankful to find your channel
I'm hoping the clothing will not be of mixed fabrics ( King James Bible Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together. New King James Version “You shall not wear a garment of different sorts, such as wool and linen mixed together."
Deuteronomy 22:11
) .
If they arnt mixed fabrics I'd be so happy to buy them!
(Love that you're growing some of your own food, have you considered some perennial fruit trees or berry bushes for permanent food source along your fence?)
Great advice, been tuning in to a handful of videos as a husband. Keeping me accountable to a higher standard by hearing this wisdom!
Thank you, Bindi. For walking the walk you are talking about.
You are a real inspiration to me. ❤️
Thank you. Even for a woman such as myself, who has a firm grasp of biblical principles but not a member of any group, for my own personal reasons. A lot of the issues raised are very helpful, and concise.
I have a cousin who is married to such a dead best man. She works and pays ALL the bills!! Her husband works but refuses to pay bills. Who knows what he’s doing with his money. He has cheated on her. He’s mean to her. And she keeps tolerating it. 🤦♀️
Yes, in hindsight, I should have left my husband much sooner. He backslid from the Lord, was in multiple affairs, and smoked pot secretly. He would not quit. I finally left him. That was 4 years ago. I'm praying 🙏 for a godly man, again.
Great video and advise! So glad you talked about this subject. 👍🏽👍🏽
Loved that you went over the other side as well.
I love the clothes. Modesty is my thing
What about a husband who works so much that he’s not there to lead his family, specifically in spiritual matters, but also misses most of his wife and childs life. My husband works six days a week, sunup to sundown. I’m just curious what you would say in a situation like that where a husband isn’t involved in day to day life because of work🤔
I have a husband who is similar. Love on him. Love him more. Then love him some more. He is trying so hard to provide for his family and that is a blessing! It’s much easier to change your mindset from “he’s not here to lead” to “he cares so much about us and love us so much”.
That's a tough one. You are married so go to God about it. Just love him and intercede for him. No complaining. Tell him quietly & respectfully though..how you feel. Certainly he's not in church or fellowship. Once God completely captures him..he will get another job where he can spend time with family and God.
Very tough situation. I'd make sure that home was a pleasant place to come to then fast & pray - take it to the Lord - everyday. Allow the Lord to correct him and I'd keep my mouth out of it. I may not be responsible for a situation but I am responsible for my reaction to it.
I love the clothes! So pretty and feminine.
They ARE beautiful, but a bit too expensive for my taste. I'm used to cloths that are around $20. Anything more would be a huge sacrifice for my family. 😊
Thank you for making this video and God bless you.
My partner and I had a baby out of wedlock, and I found the lord after I gave birth and left him for his alcoholism and abuse. With that being said I still find it hard to abandon him completely when he’s desperately and truly trying to fix what he broke and trying to quit and get help. I still have not gone back, mostly because he’s trying but not trying that hard.. not only that but both his grandfathers were alcoholics and one of them was abusive to his mother, who was the one doing most of the care taking in the home. I’m learning now that even though his dad was around his influence wasn’t as prominent as his moms…
First time watching love your content and your clothes line
I left my ex husband when he decided to keep physically abusing means
Where do you get your modest crochet tops?❤
my hubs will continue to verbally harass me after arguments and wont let me be. He knows I find it unacceptable but he just continues I don't know what to do about it
I'd try quoting Matthew 12:36 to him, mention his coming "interview", then be silent. I wouldn't respond to anything he said questioning why that scripture was pertinent to him but let the Word simmer in his heart/mind with Hebrews 9:27. I wouldn't yell it at him but very conversationally, gently. I'd let the Holy Spirit work by being quiet after that - no matter what he said. I've found that GOD has a way of spanking folks quite well if I get out of the way take my problems to Him.
6:50 that is a family bloodline curses . Look up John eckhardt by break curses book get the two in one book .
I love this..
This was great.
Beautiful creation views.🙂
The bible says you arent suppose to be with someone cheating on you
I value marriage but if someone that is potentially going to be my husband is into gambling, a doormat, alcoholic, doesn't respect my boundaries, doesn't have a relationship with God, refuses to get a job, abusive and cheating then that is where I draw the line. I look at those red flags and if I see any of those I am out of there because when I didn't look at those red flags with exes, I ended up being hurt and deeply regretting it. I believe that it is better to be single than to be divorced. I don't mind if I am single for the rest of my life.
What about when it's not a substance? It can be video games, internet whatever ...it can have negative impacts as well.
I HATE video games!!! 😭
Hi Bindi, there are some men who are into porn and approach their wife with an erection… what do you suggest?
What about emotional abuse, psychological abuse, making the female feel not good enough.
🧡 your channel just came across it within the past week. Love it.
I wouldn't tolerate him watching porn, habitually. If this was his lifestyle. Porn is dangerous for everyone. You, the spouse...the actors, society. If he won't get help..I'd separate. He's cheating on her. He's cheating on God.
Love it! But question… if you’re in the position described in the last scenario (work mule wife with husband who refuses to work a&/or provide) are we biblically required to remain in the marriage?
I don’t think we are biblically required to remain in the same household, but opinions differ on what the Bible says about good reasons for divorce. Some believe only adultery, some believe it’s ok if he’s verbally abusive. If I was forced to work because my husband wouldn’t work, I would at the very least have control over the money and where it goes. My husband would not lay up and do no work then take money I earned and spend willy nilly on what he wants.
The Bible says he who does nt work does nt eat,if a grown man refuses to work there should be clear boundaries and maybe a restriction order. You cant treat grown adults as toddlers.
A man is even legally bound to provide for wife and kids. Dont feed him and see how fast he gets up and find a job.
But,how come they never saw that while courting?that is the result of marrying without first praying ,fasting and asking God s permission. God will never let His daughter marry such man.Women often choose by emotions ,lacks or the demonic soul ties still at work in their lives.And dont bring God into the picture.
I would be curious what the author would have to say about a husband who has rage.
This was pretty good!!!
I think it's just best to leave alcohol alone period. It is associated with the world and can be a stumbling block and an open door to sin.
Thank You for posting thiS 😊
It is a beautiful outfit...
I would say mental and emotional cruelty is a full stop. The bible even says, "Who can bare a broken spirit?"
Can you give is the recipe, ma? Thank you.
It’s in the description. They look so good!!! 😊
What about pornography issues?
I would say this falls under addiction. So this would be a huge problem in a marriage.
Pray for and with him. GOD can heal all!
Struggled for 23 years with my husband with this, I’m done now! He refuses to get help
The Bible says he who hath looked on a woman with lust hath already committed adultery with her in his heart. In my opinion, if he is looking and lusting after other women, he is committing adultery.
It doesn’t seem as bad as the physical act, but continuing to view pornography and not even trying to stop the addiction, to me is adultery.
Hey Beautiful, were those Carrot Muffins, or cupcakes?
Cupcakes! I think I’ll try muffins next time.
What if the husband is under employed? Not making enough money to provide and cover the lifestyle we live. It is not a life or luxury just comfortability.
I don't know that a husband has a God given responsibility to provide "comfortability." I know he does have a responsibility to provide the necessities, though.
@@Bindi_MarcPeople need to be comfortable you cannot compare the life you live to that in a studio with six kids and a husband who does not want to expand skills to earn more .
Its very important choose wisely and like she said in another video per the advice of her grandma 'only marry a man with the faults that you can live with."
That being said ww should be equally yoked and we should be properly vetting the man we are considering for marriage. A man who is financially irresponsible or an underachiever those are character traits that should have been observed before deciding to choose this man as a husband.
@@sakuraesther6309 thats as true point you bring up, but in a previous video she did mention only having enough kids that your husband can support. so in tht case if he can only afford a studio apartment then he is either not ready for marriage of should just have 1 kid.
Your married. Pray and fast about this. It's definitely not a marriage breaker issue.
thank you 💓
Could you link part 1 of this video?
Found it, thank you😊
When it comes to the money part I understand not wanting to help your family at all it’s a big problem but I do feel like that men are more OK with being with a woman that has nothing but for women it’s not the same. Your friend I’m guessing is OK with her situation and if it works out for her she shouldn’t leave him just for that. if that’s the only problem
Hi, there! Part 1 of this video is where I discussed in a little more detail the situation of the woman married to an unemployed man. It may provide further insight if you're interested. Thank you for watching anf commenting!
Girl what woman wants to take care of a man. Idk if that couple has kids, but everyone knows when kids come in the mix, they fall more on the women as the care taker. So now she’s going to have an unemployed husband, be one one the financially provide for the house, come home, take care of the house/kids “wifey duties.” You really think that’s she’s not going to start resenting this man? She had an issue with how her husband is, that’s why she came to Bindi for advice.
Matthew 19:9
King James Version
9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
Forgivable, also committing these sins is already walking out of the marriage
Thank you for “saying it”…I enjoy your content; however, I was wondering if it leaned toward unconditional submission & care in the face of abuse. Glad that’s not the case.
Great video!
Do you consider porn a reason to leave?
Yes. I was engaged to a porn addict. I broke it off( he's getting Godly counsel now) Porn is cheating on the spouse and cheating on God. It's adultery. These people acting in the films are demonized andbr9keb. If the spouse won't get help..separate.
Do they actively use and are addicted to it? If not, are they seeking the Lord above even the relationship? If they don't want to stop after talking to the about it, then leave. Porn has no place in a marriage. It's adultery because you are seeking pleasure from another
Forgot to mention the other side of the coin… if a spouse decides to leave, they should remain unmarried, else they are committing adultery.
I believe that the husband who is an addict, refuses to provide, mistreats his wife, etc., and who refuses to actively work toward a change in their behavior IS THE SPOUSE WHO HAS LEFT THE MARRIAGE - in spirit, if not in body. (The same would hold true for a wife in a similar situation.)
@@rh2622 agreed.
❤️
He
What does the Bible say about it? Didn't hear much biblical reference in this video compared to your others.
Matthew 19:9
King James Version
9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
It’s all her opinions, this is exactly what unsaved wives do.
I could be wrong, but I don't think she said you can divorce the husband (accept for the issue of adultery), which is consistent with scripture, but for dangerous situations she said to find a safe place to go.... which is a separation, that could hopefully be restored in the future when he gets help.
U really need to define abuse