Anxiety would just shut my brain down during normal meetings where I had to brief. If the stakes were very high, adrenaline would help overcome. Day to day stuff, I’d get so nervous I’d lose track of my thoughts mid sentence.
This just happened to me at an interview for a job I so desperately want but because I forgot what I was trying to say like 3 or 4 times I may have blew it. It was for a store manager position, I have years of experience in management and in this field. I feel like because this happened towards the end of an almost hour interview I bunked it.
@@superkikaymom6910 There's no easy cure. You need emotional behavioral therapy to help you learn how to calm your anxiety and focus on your objective, which is communicating your idea. People who don't seem to have the problem you do have learned to effectively do this at some point in their lives.
My biggest annoyance is that I always realize what I should have said and how easy it would have been, but never on the spot, only after the conversation has already taken place. That I'm always best at articulating my thoughts when I'm alone and not under any pressure, but I guess that is due to anxiousness. But thank you for the video! Thinking on the spot is something I'm trying to work on, and you gave some good advice!
That’s a telltale sign that you need to take a bit longer to think through what you would like to say. I have the same issue. I’m an impulsive person; taking moments to think and process is the antidote ☺️
I feel you. It's hard always thinking that I'd get judged. Even after being given the chance to speak in a group, I'd overthink what I told them. It's madness sometimes, but yeah really taking the moment before speaking and consequently speaking slowly is what I'm trying to improve on. Sometimes I want to speak fast because I don't want to lose the idea, only to confuse others, and just hope someone catches it and repeats it to me because even I have no idea what I said lol
Some people are good at talking, some people are good at listening and asking. Both styles can guide a conversation toward their destination. This is what I've learned.
I definitely agree with that! My strengths are listening and asking questions that contributes to the continuation of the conversation. Although, I would love to strengthen my speaking skills to have better discussion with my peers!
Turns out my inarticulation was early onset dementia at 35. One of the key clues is when common advice like this video doesn't apply to you and specifically my inability to retain anything I was told or read no matter how many times I tried to learn it. That and recurrent brain fog. I'm literally losing my mind until I don't recognize who I am anymore. I learned some people just have undiagnosed autism or language disorders. If you struggle despite advice, consider your brain's health.
@@user-th1qn6uo3k That's not quite true. You can still articulate full paragraphs for SOME concepts. Like, how hard is it explaining what dementia means? Take myself as example. People often praise me for being well articulated when I explain simple concepts like how to think about finances and stuff, because thanks to my autism I have an natural instinct to explain everything in a very overly detailed manner. For simple concepts i seem articulate because I explain vague things with overly detailed metaphores, painting a clear picture to the listener. However, as a programmer, it means I literally can't explain how my code works in a summorized manner. Lets say a code base has 10000 lines of code. How do I explain this code to someone who doesn't understand code? It would be like trying to explain to a five year old how to paint an exact copy of Mona Lisa without showing the picture, but because it would take days to communicate every pixel of the image and a five year old has like, 30 seconds or less in attention span, the end result is a stick figure that merely resembles a human but is nowhere near similar to the original painting.
My mom has dementia I really hope whoever wrote this comment does not have dementia at this young age. Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease is a terrible disease and strips people of their personality and cognitive functions, it’s not a disease to take lightly and I won’t even wish it on my worst enemy.
My tip who has been through some of it you might want to take a look at clemastine which is a common allergy medicin that research has shown can help, also omega 3 and 9 has also helped. Not magic cure but can help. ( Background MS that has commonalities ( plaques) with Dementia ( alzheimers) and Parkinson. Big hug if wanted.
I used to be like that too but not anymore, the solution to me was to meditate and also to practice the watching thoughts while I was doing anything I still do it it’s so normal to me now, I can focus much better in one thing only, but my struggles is to put my thoughts into words 😊
The problem with taking time to think about what you want to say, is that if an idea suddenly comes while someone else is talking you don't want to be thinking about what you want to say because you might miss a vital piece of information from the person talking.
@@AjeebAurat its the same as reciting in ur head what ur going to say while someone is speaking. Ur not giving them full attention so that's rude and ur just focused on what u wanna say and miss what was said. The conversation is happening u currently u can't be writing things down..thats even ruder my god
#4 is one of my biggest pet peeves. I actually ended up working with a whole bunch of people who would only converse using industry jargon, and obviously tried so hard to sound intelligent and very educated. All that resulted in them discussing the same subject, same idea, for like an hour (and I did time that!).
That is also a HUGE pet peeve for me also. People can be so pretentious - it comes from personal insecurity. Jargon used judiciously and occasionally as a shortcut to certain concepts (the entire purpose of jargon) is fine. But when it’s used excessively, it bespeaks arrogance and pretentiousness. The speaker is not trying to actually communicate to be understood, but just to inflate his/her own ego.
I had an interview where the lady interviewing keep doing that and using words she didn’t understand. She kept using caveat over and over in the wrong sentence. I’ve been in management for years and it was soooooo hard for me to not tell her “you’re a person just like me, just relax and be yourself”. Just have a human to human conversation with out making people want to run the opposite direction.
Reading and deep breathing are the ones that work best for me. Also having a constant internal dialog this way you can practice articulation with yourself, sometimes I like to imagine I'm explaining my ideas to other people and this helps a lot too
1. jump to fast 2. Your trying to communicate a lot at once 3. You don't understand the question 4. You try to sound more intelligent 5. You use the same vocabulary
Weirdly, I’ve found that I’ve developed a stutter as I’ve grown older (30s currently). I think it’s because I’ve got a traffic jam of information from brain to mouth. The second tip is really helpful. Stop. Pick what you want to get across. Make a plan to get there. Then speak slowly.
Same. And it is kind of distressing because I am often noticing people in lower-skilled places being much better in verbal communication. It probably indeed is the constant information overload that has taken its toll on linguistic parts of the brain.
Same issue, I thought i was broken. English is my fourth language btw, i have no issue whatsoever in speaking it, but as soon as i start with my native language, i can’t make sense of what I’m saying
8am global team meetings where we all give updates of all of the projects we’re working on - I now write down all of my notes, which makes it much easier to be articulate! I’ve begun doing this EOD Friday, so I’m ready to go Monday AM. 😄
I've always struggled with this. When I was younger I unfortunately was always around very assertive people who spoke up at every opportunity. You sort of just learn to fade away into the background and listen to how well they articulate and think....If only I could communicate like that. Now RUclips just shadowbans everything I say anyway. Great video!!!
Well, you are already half way just by avoiding those assertive people. I am usually good at explaining things but as soon as you meet these bessewissers that talk over you because they think they know better, then I have a special way of communicating with them. One tip is the way you word things. I usually let these assertive people speak their A4 page, memorizing some of the claims they make, build a question on top of that, and then ask such people "Okay, lets say for the sake of the argument that . Then how come ", then he will spit out another A4 page of bullshit and you will just listen and repeat the same algorithm, until he either freaks out, become silent or starts agreeing with you. That trick works well for me because it means you can ignore 90% of what the person is saying, keeping only a few sentences in your head, and you will have plenty of time forming a counter argument while they speak into a brick wall.
My mom gave me a book by, don't laugh, Suzanne Somers, when I was peri-menopausal. I got a lot of good information and confirmation from it about health (including brain fog).
I really struggle to articulate my thoughts over team meetings, but it's very important to be heard - especially when working from home. Thanks for your videos!
Wow, this is like 100 percent my problem. Its my biggest struggle when anxious. When anxious, everything else fails with speaking clearly fo people who need well summarized talking points
Thank you so much. this video relates to me. Lately I have been thinking something is wrong with me because I struggle to put my thoughts together and communicate effectively but after watching this I now know that nothing is wrong with me I just have to put in work. Thanks again
Absolutely! So many people have this issue (even me). I recommend you watch my playlist on Become More Articulate and Well Spoken to get other tips for this ruclips.net/video/9NrpJSxUeFY/видео.html
I'm so grateful I stumbled upon this channel. This is something I'm working on because I want to be able to express myself clearly to connect more with my loved ones. Clear communication is key!
As a stutter I can relate to this. In the past, when I do representations infront of the class I get curious because what I'm saying and thoughts they don't make sense. I always get nervous every time talking to public because of my stutter.
I think I just recently lost a client, which would have brought my business a lot of work, because I answered the phone and tried to give them all the information on a case before I had actually put together my analysis for them. I probably tried to explain too much before I had put together concrete ideas, and sounded dumb, for lack of a better word. Good advice to slow down and focus. Kicking myself, but now I can practice this.
100% on the clarifying on the question. I never once had people think im dumb because I told them I didn't understand their question. Infact a lot of times, they are just blurting a question out without really thinking about it. It makes them think twice about the question as well.
Reading something I've never read before is probably one of the best advice I've ever heard. I struggle to improve my vocabulary being foreign born and raised with parents with very thick accent I find myself insecure in this area. I want to grow and I hope this helps me. Thank you so much for all of your help and suggestions. You are such a great coach
I forgot to tell you. I watched your video yesterday and went on Amazon and bought the book right away. It arrived last night and I'm excited to get started on that. I just thought you'd like to know that.
Thick accent should not worry you as long as your pronunciation is good. By the way , accent brings in beauty in communication. It's not something that should heap insecurities on you.
A very common and sometimes serious problem in communication is people not having thought exactly what they want to say before they start to speak. So - think more before you speak, write down the precise words, or at least the outline, before you start talking
1. Read a lot. Read novels, non-fiction, poetry, social commentary. 2. Talk to yourself, also playing the role of who you are talking to. (I suppose I should have said ‘the person to whom you are talking’, lol) 3. Practice on talk-back radio. Learn to strip your thoughts down to the essentials, and state them without unnecessary justifications or complication. 4. Remember that communication is two-way. Do your best to actually hear and understand others. 5. Learn to sing with authentic emotion. This will open you up and build genuine self-esteem - which comes from authentic expression based on principles *and* feelings. 6. Don’t rush. Don’t fight for time. 7. Don’t buy into unnecessary conflict or power struggles. 8. Be unaffected by disagreement. Research has shown that *every* time someone says ‘no’, or ‘you’re wrong’ there is a fight/flight response (adrenaline and nor-adrenaline). Learn to feel that without it affecting your calm and confidence. 9. Understand that this ‘fight/flight’ response is also happening to those to whom you speak. (See ? Proper English ! Don’t feel compelled to reduce your speech to ‘lowest common denominator’). 10. Relieve your listeners of stress by avoiding ‘no’ and ‘you’re wrong’, unless that is simply unavoidable. This will make the situation less adversarial. 11. It’s not ‘life or death’. Get things in perspective. Relax your muscles. Loosen your jaw. Feel content and non-combative. 12. Say one thing at a time. Trying to counter imagined objections while you speak will complicate your words and tie you in knots.
Ugh it’s #6 mostly for me. But I have worked and worked tirelessly to overcome this!!! It’s a constant work in progress. I have gotten better! But I still struggle, I don’t think I will ever truly enjoy public speaking, but learning to be articulate when I am in front of people and all eyes are on me is crucial to my work!
All the above, I didn't articulate my points well for job interviews. Overloading information with repeated vocabularies, stress, anxiety to name a few. Thank you so much. Great timely advice!! Thanks for the video, feeling blessed.
I'm so happy i stumbled across this channel. Reading everyone's comments brings me so much comfort knowing that I'm not alone. I'm actually getting emotional because I'm a Master's student who struggles to articulate thoughts. My sentence form and structure is all over the place, and i end up sounding like such a dumbass. It's so frustrating and causes me so much anxiety and insecurity because i can't communicate exactly what i mean to. It is worse when I'm on the spot. This Channel is exactly what I've needed. Thank you Kara! ❤
I'm so glad to be helping you Judi! You're definitely not alone. I think there are many people who can't articulate well. The first step is realising it and finding resources to help you. I'm so glad you found my channel too!
@6:50, I like that idea of reading something new every day on different topics. Like an article. For me, I'll choose topics I am interested in. Thank you! Subscribed!
I am one who doesn't like to address things I'm unhappy about and what I desire so u can tell my life is full of issues. Thanku for making these videos
What I learned and applied from your video is my increasing ability to speak assertively and concisely. I dont have to speak too much. Every time I speak on particular issue I always bring with me two or three reasons to support my arguments. It helps me to reach agreement from the audience. thank you for your lesson.
This made me realize a lot. I have stage freight and I’m a very introvert person. I shiver talking to even small group, my anxiety would eat me up. I’ve been practicing myself but it seems like I said it wrong or it ain’t enough or it doesn’t make a point. I realize I am processing too much information and is trying to say it all in one go; now I know that less is more. Thank you! This is my first time seeing your video, you gained a sub. 😊
thanks a lot! sharing too much information is my main problem. sometimes while speaking I will think of additional information that I want to share making it jumbled and confusing
Well, I'm watching this because I thought it was for English learners... I think these recommendations could be useful for us! Thanks, I'm gonna try to practice it in my mother tongue as well
This is a great video, Kara. This is an excellent list of difficulties and practical solutions. AND, the video is clearly killing it with 24k views already (in under two weeks). Looks like you have another winner on your hands!
In contrast, I realized now that most of my comments are easily understood. Speaking out my thoughts can be hard for me because I'm an introvert(but not a confident type of person, so this explains it) and I prefer writing.
This is a great video. I think I talk way too fast and jump in without thinking about what to say. I've learned that Its like writing an article. You have the main idea then sub topics and headings and you fill in the rest but you have to always think before you speak.
I love how she eloquently and respectfully advises people "hey, do yourself a favour, shut the fck up when you have no idea what the hell you're talking about"😂
Everything you shared is true. As someone who attends a lot of meeting, I always jump to a conversation I partially understand or made very little preparation thats why i end up not saying anything at all. Thank you so much for these wonderful tips.
I clicked the video wanting to know why I struggle to articulate my thoughts. Clicked the chapters of the video. Saw the first reason after "Why you can't articulate your thoughts clearly". Now I know why 😅
I feel like 1 is my main problem, but even when I do spend time to understand and plan my thoughts, I still get something wrong. Every. time. If I had to relay info like "The dog jumped 2 meters", for some reason I'd relay the info as "2 feet". It's not dyslexia, it's literally carelessness and I don't know how to get better. Even if I study that phrase for 20 minutes, I'm still getting something wrong and I wish I knew what to do. I think because I've always had people over-correcting me (now and in the past) and I'm subconsciously very anxious and fearful to get things wrong. But I do it anyway.
I have this too. I often say the opposite of what I mean without realising. Or I just completely lose the word. Using your example I'd forget "meters", completely gone, like it never existed. I was also overcorrected a lot when I was young so I just don't feel confident in any facts that come out of my mouth.
This is the video I've been looking for my whole life. Straight forward and to the point. Every mentioned reason resonates. Thank you so much for sharing this valuable gamechanging information. Simply awesome. ❤
I always wanted to improve my communication skills but I am struggle to articulate my thought. Your explanation is really help where should I start. Thank you for this video. I am glad I played it.
Hello mam I m so glad to have seen that you continue making video with any break down ...but I have seen it a number of time when people dont get response as they expect from other they drop the idea of making video anymore but you are Not like that I have learn a thing from you when people trying to find way of making you down your girth on yourself must be so strong And should keep working in such away that you move heaven And earth ....
This video is actually profound. I immediately subscribed to your channel and would check out your videos after my meeting today. I noticed that when I finish talking, most people don't understand me, and I there may not be opportunity to clarify.
Thanks for watching! I'd recommend asking throughout your speech if the other person if following you. Eg "Are you following what I'm saying?" Or "Do you know what I mean?".
Thank you so much , I have made this mistakes for years now I understand why . My issue is I get anxiety when I’ve been asked questions now I’ve learnt a lot in this short video. 🙏 👍👍😘
Totally agree, I am more articulate when I reduce the speed of my speech. But nerves make me talk faster in the moment. Its always a work in progress I guess
For me, I have issues in very large groups -- say speaking at a conference in the audience. I think I am triggered, thinking about school. I also just don't like large groups. I feel a little overwhelmed and confused unless I am actually leading the group. I definitely am experiencing fight or flight during these times. The other thing I do is ramble. People do say I am articulate, but I know, given that I do have ADHD, that I go off topic and make associations that really don't need to be brought into the conversation. I think I will try your method of three. That might work. Thanks!
Thank you for this great video, which is so relatable to me, in particular, being anxious while speaking. It's really annoying and it is the main issue that is holding me back from reaching my full potential.
There are four parts to communication: what someone says, what someone hears, what someone understands and the truth. People asks questions based on the answers they’re looking for which is often ineffective because decisions are based on information so quality decisions are based on quality information. Limiting the information based on your understanding or resources doesn’t allow for the truth to be revealed. I work with large data sets and most data is wrong. External feeds get cut off before they finish running, converting files types shifts data from one column to another, products were added at the wrong price and/or discount, new customers were added to the wrong price network, inventory counts were wrong, data entry duplicated records or didn’t include entries they should have, security profiles in the ERP reporting module limited the analyst to only 10,000 records instead of all records in the table, the wrong parameters were used in the queries, I can go on and on. You can’t make a plan without accurate information. Most people look at a dashboard or a report and try to manage metrics without asking if the data is correct. The devil is in the details and although managers don’t like more than a brief overview that tells them nothing useful because they have no idea if it’s true or accurate it will allow you to continue getting a paycheck. If you want to get a promotion, vet your data and make sure you understand the truth when you speak.
Love this presentation. This is so beautifully done like your other ones. Masterfully presented, inviting, intriguing, a warm, natural but high level of professional grace. You have peeled back so many hidden gems which are easily overlooked e.g. point #7 is an absolute cracker. I can't say much more, you're the best !
Hi Kara. I struggle with round robin introductions in a board room. That said, once I get started I can go on and be fairly aggressive, articulate and assertive. I can be attentive and listen well. So on and so forth. However, as I said.... its the introduction that just boils my heart out.
Anxiety would just shut my brain down during normal meetings where I had to brief. If the stakes were very high, adrenaline would help overcome. Day to day stuff, I’d get so nervous I’d lose track of my thoughts mid sentence.
Same with my problem. Been struggling of this since childhood. Is there a cure?
Same and it’s getting worse when i’m stressed
This just happened to me at an interview for a job I so desperately want but because I forgot what I was trying to say like 3 or 4 times I may have blew it. It was for a store manager position, I have years of experience in management and in this field. I feel like because this happened towards the end of an almost hour interview I bunked it.
@@superkikaymom6910 There's no easy cure. You need emotional behavioral therapy to help you learn how to calm your anxiety and focus on your objective, which is communicating your idea.
People who don't seem to have the problem you do have learned to effectively do this at some point in their lives.
Honestly - invest in yourself and talk to someone about how you feel. There are solutions out there.
My biggest annoyance is that I always realize what I should have said and how easy it would have been, but never on the spot, only after the conversation has already taken place. That I'm always best at articulating my thoughts when I'm alone and not under any pressure, but I guess that is due to anxiousness.
But thank you for the video! Thinking on the spot is something I'm trying to work on, and you gave some good advice!
That’s a telltale sign that you need to take a bit longer to think through what you would like to say. I have the same issue. I’m an impulsive person; taking moments to think and process is the antidote ☺️
I feel you. It's hard always thinking that I'd get judged. Even after being given the chance to speak in a group, I'd overthink what I told them. It's madness sometimes, but yeah really taking the moment before speaking and consequently speaking slowly is what I'm trying to improve on. Sometimes I want to speak fast because I don't want to lose the idea, only to confuse others, and just hope someone catches it and repeats it to me because even I have no idea what I said lol
I feel you too! When I am away from the event or conversation all the vocabulary comes back in full force. This life!!!
Same
Don’t worry about it. You’ll improve with time when you stop caring.
For me overthinking blocks my existence. Knowing too much and not enough is the death and life of me.
Totally hear you, I can relate
Some people are good at talking, some people are good at listening and asking. Both styles can guide a conversation toward their destination. This is what I've learned.
You're right but one must know both of the things. What say mate?
What do u do when the talker is a bad listener?
I definitely agree with that! My strengths are listening and asking questions that contributes to the continuation of the conversation. Although, I would love to strengthen my speaking skills to have better discussion with my peers!
Turns out my inarticulation was early onset dementia at 35. One of the key clues is when common advice like this video doesn't apply to you and specifically my inability to retain anything I was told or read no matter how many times I tried to learn it. That and recurrent brain fog. I'm literally losing my mind until I don't recognize who I am anymore. I learned some people just have undiagnosed autism or language disorders. If you struggle despite advice, consider your brain's health.
Yikes sorry to hear that?❤ What are things that you do that have been helping you feel more like yourself?
@@user-th1qn6uo3k That's not quite true. You can still articulate full paragraphs for SOME concepts. Like, how hard is it explaining what dementia means? Take myself as example. People often praise me for being well articulated when I explain simple concepts like how to think about finances and stuff, because thanks to my autism I have an natural instinct to explain everything in a very overly detailed manner. For simple concepts i seem articulate because I explain vague things with overly detailed metaphores, painting a clear picture to the listener. However, as a programmer, it means I literally can't explain how my code works in a summorized manner. Lets say a code base has 10000 lines of code. How do I explain this code to someone who doesn't understand code? It would be like trying to explain to a five year old how to paint an exact copy of Mona Lisa without showing the picture, but because it would take days to communicate every pixel of the image and a five year old has like, 30 seconds or less in attention span, the end result is a stick figure that merely resembles a human but is nowhere near similar to the original painting.
My mom has dementia I really hope whoever wrote this comment does not have dementia at this young age. Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease is a terrible disease and strips people of their personality and cognitive functions, it’s not a disease to take lightly and I won’t even wish it on my worst enemy.
@@irenemasek9138 I believe she is telling the truth because I can write a complete paragraph, but not most of the time.
My tip who has been through some of it you might want to take a look at clemastine which is a common allergy medicin that research has shown can help, also omega 3 and 9 has also helped. Not magic cure but can help. ( Background MS that has commonalities ( plaques) with Dementia ( alzheimers) and Parkinson. Big hug if wanted.
There’s a whole other conversation going through my head while I’m also trying to talk….
Omg you’re spot on 😂 I can relate unfortunately lol
Spot on.
I used to be like that too but not anymore, the solution to me was to meditate and also to practice the watching thoughts while I was doing anything I still do it it’s so normal to me now, I can focus much better in one thing only, but my struggles is to put my thoughts into words 😊
I have social anxiety. Sometimes I struggle just to speak. So that's one reason for me.
Since I'm alone the majority of the time, I don't verbalize my thoughts often. Hanging out with people is a rare and special treat for me.
The problem with taking time to think about what you want to say, is that if an idea suddenly comes while someone else is talking you don't want to be thinking about what you want to say because you might miss a vital piece of information from the person talking.
Yup!
Write it down! I had the same problem but now I just write it down and it helps 😊
so mid conversation you pull out a notebook, put your idea down all the while listening to the other person?
@@Freaky0Nina yea, and by the time the thought is scribbled, you forget the rest of what's said lol
@@AjeebAurat its the same as reciting in ur head what ur going to say while someone is speaking. Ur not giving them full attention so that's rude and ur just focused on what u wanna say and miss what was said. The conversation is happening u currently u can't be writing things down..thats even ruder my god
#4 is one of my biggest pet peeves. I actually ended up working with a whole bunch of people who would only converse using industry jargon, and obviously tried so hard to sound intelligent and very educated. All that resulted in them discussing the same subject, same idea, for like an hour (and I did time that!).
Were they social science types such as psychs, counsellors, social workers?
That is also a HUGE pet peeve for me also. People can be so pretentious - it comes from personal insecurity.
Jargon used judiciously and occasionally as a shortcut to certain concepts (the entire purpose of jargon) is fine. But when it’s used excessively, it bespeaks arrogance and pretentiousness. The speaker is not trying to actually communicate to be understood, but just to inflate his/her own ego.
😂
This drove me nuts back in school 😭
I had an interview where the lady interviewing keep doing that and using words she didn’t understand. She kept using caveat over and over in the wrong sentence. I’ve been in management for years and it was soooooo hard for me to not tell her “you’re a person just like me, just relax and be yourself”. Just have a human to human conversation with out making people want to run the opposite direction.
Reading and deep breathing are the ones that work best for me. Also having a constant internal dialog this way you can practice articulation with yourself, sometimes I like to imagine I'm explaining my ideas to other people and this helps a lot too
1. jump to fast
2. Your trying to communicate a lot at once
3. You don't understand the question
4. You try to sound more intelligent
5. You use the same vocabulary
Weirdly, I’ve found that I’ve developed a stutter as I’ve grown older (30s currently). I think it’s because I’ve got a traffic jam of information from brain to mouth. The second tip is really helpful. Stop. Pick what you want to get across. Make a plan to get there. Then speak slowly.
Same. And it is kind of distressing because I am often noticing people in lower-skilled places being much better in verbal communication. It probably indeed is the constant information overload that has taken its toll on linguistic parts of the brain.
Is English your first language?
@@ericsohn5084 yes, but It didn’t happen to me until I became fluent in another language.
@@nathanharmon8971 What language possibly can that be? I'm bilingual and these languages are dramatically opposite. so it fks me up sometimes
Same issue, I thought i was broken. English is my fourth language btw, i have no issue whatsoever in speaking it, but as soon as i start with my native language, i can’t make sense of what I’m saying
8am global team meetings where we all give updates of all of the projects we’re working on - I now write down all of my notes, which makes it much easier to be articulate! I’ve begun doing this EOD Friday, so I’m ready to go Monday AM. 😄
Love that!
@@kararonin thank you!
Dd😅d😊😅😊😅
How did it go ?
I've always struggled with this. When I was younger I unfortunately was always around very assertive people who spoke up at every opportunity. You sort of just learn to fade away into the background and listen to how well they articulate and think....If only I could communicate like that. Now RUclips just shadowbans everything I say anyway. Great video!!!
Well, you are already half way just by avoiding those assertive people. I am usually good at explaining things but as soon as you meet these bessewissers that talk over you because they think they know better, then I have a special way of communicating with them. One tip is the way you word things. I usually let these assertive people speak their A4 page, memorizing some of the claims they make, build a question on top of that, and then ask such people "Okay, lets say for the sake of the argument that . Then how come ", then he will spit out another A4 page of bullshit and you will just listen and repeat the same algorithm, until he either freaks out, become silent or starts agreeing with you. That trick works well for me because it means you can ignore 90% of what the person is saying, keeping only a few sentences in your head, and you will have plenty of time forming a counter argument while they speak into a brick wall.
Agree. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than you speak and remove all doubt. Ben Franklin.
You have just described me perfectly. I usually get stuck when the precise word I want just does not come to me. Embarrassing and frustrating,
I feel the same! I always thought I was the only one struggling this. It’s so frustrating and some times it makes me feel incompetent or lame. 😢
I found with menopause, it's gotten noticeably worse too, getting my thoughts out if my head as words out my mouth. 😊
Same here
My mom gave me a book by, don't laugh, Suzanne Somers, when I was peri-menopausal. I got a lot of good information and confirmation from it about health (including brain fog).
I really struggle to articulate my thoughts over team meetings, but it's very important to be heard - especially when working from home. Thanks for your videos!
Wow, this is like 100 percent my problem. Its my biggest struggle when anxious. When anxious, everything else fails with speaking clearly fo people who need well summarized talking points
Thank you so much. this video relates to me. Lately I have been thinking something is wrong with me because I struggle to put my thoughts together and communicate effectively but after watching this I now know that nothing is wrong with me I just have to put in work. Thanks again
Absolutely! So many people have this issue (even me). I recommend you watch my playlist on Become More Articulate and Well Spoken to get other tips for this ruclips.net/video/9NrpJSxUeFY/видео.html
I'm so grateful I stumbled upon this channel. This is something I'm working on because I want to be able to express myself clearly to connect more with my loved ones. Clear communication is key!
As a stutter I can relate to this. In the past, when I do representations infront of the class I get curious because what I'm saying and thoughts they don't make sense. I always get nervous every time talking to public because of my stutter.
I think I just recently lost a client, which would have brought my business a lot of work, because I answered the phone and tried to give them all the information on a case before I had actually put together my analysis for them. I probably tried to explain too much before I had put together concrete ideas, and sounded dumb, for lack of a better word. Good advice to slow down and focus. Kicking myself, but now I can practice this.
100% on the clarifying on the question. I never once had people think im dumb because I told them I didn't understand their question. Infact a lot of times, they are just blurting a question out without really thinking about it. It makes them think twice about the question as well.
Reading something I've never read before is probably one of the best advice I've ever heard. I struggle to improve my vocabulary being foreign born and raised with parents with very thick accent I find myself insecure in this area. I want to grow and I hope this helps me. Thank you so much for all of your help and suggestions. You are such a great coach
Reading out loud will definitely help you with this, as well as listening to and repeating other speakers.
I will try this too. I appreciate you. Thank you.
I forgot to tell you. I watched your video yesterday and went on Amazon and bought the book right away. It arrived last night and I'm excited to get started on that. I just thought you'd like to know that.
@@sherryc2443 Fantastic Sherry! Thank you for letting me know.
Thick accent should not worry you as long as your pronunciation is good. By the way , accent brings in beauty in communication. It's not something that should heap insecurities on you.
A very common and sometimes serious problem in communication is people not having thought exactly what they want to say before they start to speak. So - think more before you speak, write down the precise words, or at least the outline, before you start talking
By the time I would put my pen to paper, meeting would be over.
I can be really on point when I'm in my room doing an interview with myself. 😗
Yes me too, I have a lot of conversations in my head
1. Read a lot. Read novels, non-fiction, poetry, social commentary.
2. Talk to yourself, also playing the role of who you are talking to.
(I suppose I should have said ‘the person to whom you are talking’, lol)
3. Practice on talk-back radio. Learn to strip your thoughts down to the essentials, and state them without unnecessary justifications or complication.
4. Remember that communication is two-way. Do your best to actually hear and understand others.
5. Learn to sing with authentic emotion. This will open you up and build genuine self-esteem - which comes from authentic expression based on principles *and* feelings.
6. Don’t rush. Don’t fight for time.
7. Don’t buy into unnecessary conflict or power struggles.
8. Be unaffected by disagreement. Research has shown that *every* time someone says ‘no’, or ‘you’re wrong’ there is a fight/flight response (adrenaline and nor-adrenaline).
Learn to feel that without it affecting your calm and confidence.
9. Understand that this ‘fight/flight’ response is also happening to those to whom you speak. (See ? Proper English ! Don’t feel compelled to reduce your speech to ‘lowest common denominator’).
10. Relieve your listeners of stress by avoiding ‘no’ and ‘you’re wrong’, unless that is simply unavoidable. This will make the situation less adversarial.
11. It’s not ‘life or death’. Get things in perspective. Relax your muscles. Loosen your jaw. Feel content and non-combative.
12. Say one thing at a time. Trying to counter imagined objections while you speak will complicate your words and tie you in knots.
She nailed it, I’ll probably have to watch this more than once
Thank you so much!
Ugh it’s #6 mostly for me. But I have worked and worked tirelessly to overcome this!!! It’s a constant work in progress. I have gotten better! But I still struggle, I don’t think I will ever truly enjoy public speaking, but learning to be articulate when I am in front of people and all eyes are on me is crucial to my work!
All the above, I didn't articulate my points well for job interviews. Overloading information with repeated vocabularies, stress, anxiety to name a few. Thank you so much. Great timely advice!! Thanks for the video, feeling blessed.
This lovely woman has just enlightened me and now my life is positively altered.
I'm so happy i stumbled across this channel. Reading everyone's comments brings me so much comfort knowing that I'm not alone. I'm actually getting emotional because I'm a Master's student who struggles to articulate thoughts. My sentence form and structure is all over the place, and i end up sounding like such a dumbass. It's so frustrating and causes me so much anxiety and insecurity because i can't communicate exactly what i mean to. It is worse when I'm on the spot.
This Channel is exactly what I've needed. Thank you Kara! ❤
I'm so glad to be helping you Judi! You're definitely not alone. I think there are many people who can't articulate well. The first step is realising it and finding resources to help you. I'm so glad you found my channel too!
@6:50, I like that idea of reading something new every day on different topics. Like an article. For me, I'll choose topics I am interested in. Thank you! Subscribed!
Reading enriches mind,
provides content;
improves vocabulary.
#readmorebooks
I am one who doesn't like to address things I'm unhappy about and what I desire so u can tell my life is full of issues. Thanku for making these videos
What I learned and applied from your video is my increasing ability to speak assertively and concisely. I dont have to speak too much. Every time I speak on particular issue I always bring with me two or three reasons to support my arguments. It helps me to reach agreement from the audience. thank you for your lesson.
This has to be one of the most sobering, life shifting, and hope filling videos I’ve watched in so long. Thank you. 🎉🎉 I🎉
You are hands down one of my favorite speakers. Thank you so much for your content ❤
@@Livinandbreathin thank you so much for your lovely message!
This made me realize a lot. I have stage freight and I’m a very introvert person. I shiver talking to even small group, my anxiety would eat me up. I’ve been practicing myself but it seems like I said it wrong or it ain’t enough or it doesn’t make a point. I realize I am processing too much information and is trying to say it all in one go; now I know that less is more. Thank you! This is my first time seeing your video, you gained a sub. 😊
Thank you so much!
This is why I suck at writing essays. I have trouble identifying ideas and linking them clearly in an academic way.
i think you are more practical than a lot of videos I have listened to on communication. well done
thanks a lot! sharing too much information is my main problem. sometimes while speaking I will think of additional information that I want to share making it jumbled and confusing
Now that you're conscious of this, you'll start to naturally reduce the amount of information you share.
i just want to tell you that you are doing a wonderful job! thank you for helping people like us.
Thank you very much!
Well, I'm watching this because I thought it was for English learners... I think these recommendations could be useful for us! Thanks, I'm gonna try to practice it in my mother tongue as well
Hi Kara, whenever I see your video it feels you have read my mind .I feel someone has understood me..
This is a great video, Kara. This is an excellent list of difficulties and practical solutions. AND, the video is clearly killing it with 24k views already (in under two weeks). Looks like you have another winner on your hands!
Thanks Alex! It's doing pretty well isn't it 🤗
This is a step for me to be a better speaker that I can use in school.
I have all of the points in this video, and I should work on it.
I admit, I'm practicing #4, which is pretty weird because I want things to be understood and to have shortcuts. But in reality, it's wrong.
In contrast, I realized now that most of my comments are easily understood. Speaking out my thoughts can be hard for me because I'm an introvert(but not a confident type of person, so this explains it) and I prefer writing.
15 years of therapy summed up in half a minute. Easy for you to say, got to love YT.
I must admit, this is becoming my favourite RUclips channel. Another excellent piece of content.
Thank you so much Bruno!
This is a great video. I think I talk way too fast and jump in without thinking about what to say. I've learned that Its like writing an article. You have the main idea then sub topics and headings and you fill in the rest but you have to always think before you speak.
Thank you!
1:46 intro for an idea
Thanks!
Thanks so much!
It’s like you talking to my face and cut through my soul. Thank God, it’s not directly.
I so needed this. Let me go back to reading!
I love how she eloquently and respectfully advises people "hey, do yourself a favour, shut the fck up when you have no idea what the hell you're talking about"😂
So true as I reflect back on my earlier formative years in my career. And now I’m still learning! Thank u Kara!
Sounds like me : trying to communicate too much information at one time. Loved your tips , thankyou so much
Everything you shared is true. As someone who attends a lot of meeting, I always jump to a conversation I partially understand or made very little preparation thats why i end up not saying anything at all. Thank you so much for these wonderful tips.
I clicked the video wanting to know why I struggle to articulate my thoughts. Clicked the chapters of the video. Saw the first reason after "Why you can't articulate your thoughts clearly". Now I know why 😅
I'm so glad to hear you found helpful advice early in this video!
your English training video is really good and perfect. Good job madam!
I feel like 1 is my main problem, but even when I do spend time to understand and plan my thoughts, I still get something wrong. Every. time. If I had to relay info like "The dog jumped 2 meters", for some reason I'd relay the info as "2 feet". It's not dyslexia, it's literally carelessness and I don't know how to get better. Even if I study that phrase for 20 minutes, I'm still getting something wrong and I wish I knew what to do. I think because I've always had people over-correcting me (now and in the past) and I'm subconsciously very anxious and fearful to get things wrong. But I do it anyway.
Fear can cripple your thoughts and your speaking too.
I have this too. I often say the opposite of what I mean without realising. Or I just completely lose the word. Using your example I'd forget "meters", completely gone, like it never existed. I was also overcorrected a lot when I was young so I just don't feel confident in any facts that come out of my mouth.
This is the video I've been looking for my whole life. Straight forward and to the point. Every mentioned reason resonates. Thank you so much for sharing this valuable gamechanging information. Simply awesome. ❤
I always wanted to improve my communication skills but I am struggle to articulate my thought. Your explanation is really help where should I start. Thank you for this video. I am glad I played it.
FR #3😭... Me choosing to publicly explain something I don't completely understand because I vibe heavily with the premise
Thank you so much Kara! I think this video was made for me.
Thank you so much! I'm glad it was helpful for you!
I always learn something from Kara. Thanks!
Excellent coach. I will replay this over and over again. 😊 🙏!
This is me everyday...thank you for this video.
Man am I glad people like you exist ! Awesome video, thanks for the help!
🇹🇿 *May the LORD bless you abundantly for sharing this deeper insights* I'm blessed, enriched & enlightened. 🇹🇿
This video was well made and cohesive. Thank You!
Thank you so much!
Very useful and succinct. Thanks.
Hello mam I m so glad to have seen that you continue making video with any break down ...but I have seen it a number of time when people dont get response as they expect from other they drop the idea of making video anymore but you are Not like that I have learn a thing from you when people trying to find way of making you down your girth on yourself must be so strong And should keep working in such away that you move heaven And earth ....
Nice thank you so much Kara.
Excellent video. Ill be watching rhis one q few times. Some of these tricks also apply to written material.
I just want to appreciate how elegant you look and articulate you sound. More power to you and your channel. ❤ New subscriber here. Learning from you.
Thanks for these tips. It really helped me being that I've been trying to improve my communication skill.
Not sure if I ever subscribed to a channel after just watching one video in the past. Great stuff!
This video is actually profound. I immediately subscribed to your channel and would check out your videos after my meeting today.
I noticed that when I finish talking, most people don't understand me, and I there may not be opportunity to clarify.
Thanks for watching! I'd recommend asking throughout your speech if the other person if following you. Eg "Are you following what I'm saying?" Or "Do you know what I mean?".
@@kararonin I will be sure to do this. Starting from my meeting this afternoon. Thanks Kara.
Finally, some real advice and strategies. Thank you. Terrific video.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you so much , I have made this mistakes for years now I understand why . My issue is I get anxiety when I’ve been asked questions now I’ve learnt a lot in this short video.
🙏 👍👍😘
its because i have so many thoughts I forget them and so I just speak slowly to slowly remember everything I say I think also perfectionism
Totally agree, I am more articulate when I reduce the speed of my speech. But nerves make me talk faster in the moment. Its always a work in progress I guess
For me, I have issues in very large groups -- say speaking at a conference in the audience. I think I am triggered, thinking about school. I also just don't like large groups. I feel a little overwhelmed and confused unless I am actually leading the group. I definitely am experiencing fight or flight during these times. The other thing I do is ramble. People do say I am articulate, but I know, given that I do have ADHD, that I go off topic and make associations that really don't need to be brought into the conversation. I think I will try your method of three. That might work. Thanks!
Thank you for this great video, which is so relatable to me, in particular, being anxious while speaking. It's really annoying and it is the main issue that is holding me back from reaching my full potential.
Very Great information and tips
Wow really helpful! Especially for ones like me communicating with different languages than the native one!
Thank you 🌺
There are four parts to communication: what someone says, what someone hears, what someone understands and the truth. People asks questions based on the answers they’re looking for which is often ineffective because decisions are based on information so quality decisions are based on quality information. Limiting the information based on your understanding or resources doesn’t allow for the truth to be revealed. I work with large data sets and most data is wrong. External feeds get cut off before they finish running, converting files types shifts data from one column to another, products were added at the wrong price and/or discount, new customers were added to the wrong price network, inventory counts were wrong, data entry duplicated records or didn’t include entries they should have, security profiles in the ERP reporting module limited the analyst to only 10,000 records instead of all records in the table, the wrong parameters were used in the queries, I can go on and on. You can’t make a plan without accurate information. Most people look at a dashboard or a report and try to manage metrics without asking if the data is correct. The devil is in the details and although managers don’t like more than a brief overview that tells them nothing useful because they have no idea if it’s true or accurate it will allow you to continue getting a paycheck. If you want to get a promotion, vet your data and make sure you understand the truth when you speak.
Title should be 5 most common features you hear in a meeting... :)
Thank you for this.
Gracias! Again...
Thank you! Awesome ideas!! I'm so glad to know that this is common.
Love this presentation. This is so beautifully done like your other ones. Masterfully presented, inviting, intriguing, a warm, natural but high level of professional grace. You have peeled back so many hidden gems which are easily overlooked e.g. point #7 is an absolute cracker. I can't say much more, you're the best !
Thank you very much. This is my biggest problem.
Dear trainer teacher Kiraronin Tank's alote
This is so well summarized and helpful
Very informative!
Good speech.
Thank you very much.
Have a nice weekend 👍
Hi Kara. I struggle with round robin introductions in a board room. That said, once I get started I can go on and be fairly aggressive, articulate and assertive. I can be attentive and listen well. So on and so forth. However, as I said.... its the introduction that just boils my heart out.
This is a common one. I will be publishing a video on introductions which should help you out.
@@kararonin I look forward to it. Appreciated.
Great video 💯💪