Parkland victim's mother: 'I suppress my reality to survive' after Nikolas Cruz murder | LiveNOW
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- Опубликовано: 17 авг 2022
- Shara Kaplan, the mother of murdered Parkland student Meadow Pollack, spoke at the sentencing for Nikolas Cruz, who has plead guilty to killing 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School on February 14, 2018. Kaplan described the impact Meadow's murder has had on both her and her 2 boys, Meadow's brothers.
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It makes me angry that he won’t, or cant, look up to see the people he tarnished standing before him. It’s cowardly.
It’s Evil
@Ulysses Scott People like him despise truth. Thats why he wont look at you. He constantly whispers to his lawyers to object and whine!!!!!!
@Ulysses Scott murderers are always cowards
It is cowardly he should be forced to look at them
It disgusts me. The judge should make him look at them. Not look down, not plug his ears. FACE what he has done.
I can’t imagine. She hasn’t even spoken and I am crying for her. The love shown from all these families, it’s totally heart wrenching.
Me too. You can feel the pain in just her voice.
totally, my chest aches for her
This woman is only alive because of the responsibility and love she has for her remaining 2 children. I believe if it weren't for that, she would've died from a broken heart. This lady is broken and will never be the same again.
So agree, I have 4 all a year apart and cannot imagine the sorrow of beautiful momma and her siblings…my 3 sons adore their little sister💙💕
It takes a great inner strength to learn how to see the truth about our world, and to understand that, yes, we are all victims. Life is beautiful, but there's a bad side to it. If I knew a way to do it, I'd fix our world. There are people who can easily destroy and/or kill other people, but they don't want anything to happen to them. It's a tricky world. It was always women and girls who wanted to save my life. I was once out of touch with reality. Being raised by crazy people and in a crazy neighborhood isn't easy, but I snapped out of it. I am better than those people because I'd never purposely harm/kill anyone. I live to try to help other nice human beings, but I'd never help Nicholas. The evil wants us to think that we should leave nature as it is too, but I see it as being a product of insanity. My goal in live is to latch on to what's good and what helps to stop torment, while trying to get rid off its bad parts. I hate old sayings, "the world doesn't need changing?" Yes it does, and I am trying to do my part to contribute to changing it.
People need to learn the truth, and to start looking at people's track record instead of listening to the truly bad ones. The evil ones. I was at the library today, and I overheard one lady telling another one that I look like a serial killer. Well, I'm not one! I've never killed anyone. It's people like that who are disgusting! That woman doesn't know me, but yet she'd say a horrible thing like that about me? Those are the evil ones! What if she were to convince others of her lie? She's the devil! I'm a school teacher, and I am a very gentle human person.
Oh and Satanists? When I was a young boy, their goal was to keep me from ever having a girlfriend. They were vicious people. They went around selling drugs to children and killing people, but yet they had the audacity to claim that I some how caused all of this horror to happen? They're liars. They tried their very best to get me to become a homosexual, but I never did. They even paid people money to do things to me. When I was just 13 years old, I was invited to a party, given knock out drops in a cup of Pepsi, and raped. They thought that was an automatic "gay stamp" but it wasn't. I just went on about my life, and I still got great looking girlfriends. I hate those people! They claim that they don't harm anyone, but they do! Nikolas is a professed Satanist. He would kill you and/or your daughter, but me? I've already saved a lot of lives. I've been working in education for a very long time, and I am currently doing it again. I am a school teacher. People want to know who the dangerous ones are? Satanists, voodoo people, Brujeria People! Devil people. Many of them are well educated and they do know how to put on an act. You can spot those people if you listen to them. People like that lady at the library who said that about me. She doesn't even know me, but yet she had the audacity to tell someone that I look like a serial killer? Contrary to what she said about me, I am a saver of lives. I love nice people, but I don't want to save killers or they ones who try to destroy others with lies. I despise people like that!
My heart ❤️ is broken into pieces 🙏🙏 I am lost of words and don’t even know we’re to begin and describe what I am feeling . All my love to the parents and families , friends and to everyone who has been tremendously been infected thru this horrific upsetting , sadness. Rest In Peace little angles , and to the teachers who are and will be heroes . May god extend his hand 🤚 and help these love ones try to move on there life’s just for even simple tasks . The government needs to wake up if these videos cannot make you see or understand the pain all I can say is it’s ruthless , cold , inhuman to not do anything so this does not continue to happen !! As we speak it has happened again in Texas !!!! Enough , enough , enough .
Meadow has one of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen. Her radiance just SHINES like a ray. Her image is never forgotten in my mind.
The minute I saw this woman my heart fell. Just tell the agony she’s in
She expressed EVERYONE who LOST their LOVED ONES to this 😈monster just acting like he has a f--kin headache listening, plugging his ears, using colored pencils, drinking something, eating, bathing etc. Etc. Etc.
It’s so hard. So sorry for her.
'agony' is what I had in mind eversince I saw her sitting in the courtroom. She is in so much pain, you can almost feel a bit of it yourself, when you look at her... :((
This one hits me the hardest. I've watched, with great sorrow all of these parents make heartbreaking statements, but this one had me in tears almost immediately. I can't even look at the pain this poor woman is living.
This poor woman. Her life and her children lives changed forever. The number of people impacted by this tragedy alone is horrific.
I don't know any of these people but their statements are very heartfelt. Yet that monster sits there doodling on paper or whatever ignoring everyone.
Yeah cause he has to live with it for the rest of his life he said and he also said he wants to help people he thinks he is gonna get out. This is a torture for the family
@@patrick3178 he’s NEVER getting out and he’s an idiot to think he even has a chance. He will either get the death penalty or Life without parole.
@@patrick3178 definitely not getting out
WHen they strap his ass to that table or that chair, that will get his attention...
@@phoenixstrong I know he's not, but the way he said i,t that he wants to help people, I take it he is assuming or thinking he is getting out at some piont. Very delusional
God! This mama is breaking. This is so heartbreaking and heartfelt. The love a mother has for her children ❤️
SHE seemed to express DEEPLY everyone who lost their children
GOD will provide comfort, but can never replace the loss.
It dies not just go away........
@@lindaleehulsey3167
If God was real this slaughtering would have never happened. It's sad and disappointed that you ppl still can't accept the reality
“Unspeakable punishment” is a great way to put it so sorry 💔
I couldn’t get through her statement without bawling my eyes out! My heart breaks for her and every single parent who lost a child that day ❤️❤️❤️
Me either 😢😥
OMG yes.. And I really hate that demon for taking the parents babies away. if that were me I wouldnt be able to control myself I would maiul him like a mother bear 😡
Her daughter is also one of the most common pictures I see so that must make it so much harder.
Ya I know your heart bleeds for those children what about the children that are still alive and being ripped away from innocent father's by a currupited family court system that helps. Look at all the young people getting in trouble and major crimes.look around you.
At least she had 2 others though, I know someone who only had 1 kid and shes not upset for the ones she could have had
A parent should never outlive their child
My heart is literally broken for this mother and all the families that are affected by what this heartless monster did.
If your heart was broken then you'd be dead
All the students killed that day were very precious young people with bright a future. Each family is still hurting and the hurt with last a lifetime My love and prayers for them.
Me2
When she is speaking about living only for her other sons, You can see how Scott Beigle, Luke Hoyer, Nick Dworet and Peter Wang's mothers know that feeling, they all seem so tired and broken, I wish for some comfort and peace to their hearts 😭
I can't imagine her heartache. This is such a sad world.
"I suppress my reality to survive." Only a parent could put those words together after experiencing what she is living every day. May God's grace bring some sense of comfort for all the families affected by this hideous and unspeakable tragedy.
GOD will fill her HEART, SOOTH her in time, HEAL her .........but never ever FORGET.
@@lindaleehulsey3167 You do realize talking like that is simply not ok. Just offer condolences.
It’s hurtful to hear people say anything but “my condolences…”
You never heal from losing a child
Sadly, God chose to ignore Parkland on that day.
@@PUBHEAD1 , it really is a difficult scenario.
This needs to be seen by everyone and especially young people. Murder is no game. Death is final. This young man seems to only now realize the scope of what he did.
Yes indeed. I'm a retired police lieutenant and I've never seen so many broken families. I think the death penalty may ease that a bit. Yes, they should show these testimonies in high schools until they are over.
I heard that this time there is none of this appeals stuff applied to this murderer so this time no sitting on death row for decades at a time like what was the case for every serial killer such as John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, Richard Ramirez "night stalker", or Gary Ridgeway "green river killer" (still alive to this day)
@@laladoodieincarnate really?!
It looks like he doesn't care one bit
@@alya3aloush yes, John Wayne Gacy sat on death row for 14 years before his execution, Richard Ramirez was given death penalty in 1989 and died of natural causes in 2013 which is 24 years, Gary Ridgeway "Green River Killer" is still alive even though he was convicted of murdering 50 and confessed to murdering 90 back in the early 2000s. Theres also in California a man named Scott Peterson who murdered his pregnant wife he was given the death penalty in 2004 but it was changed to life without parole.
I know all the families are broken but there's something so visceral about Meadow's moms pain. This woman is genuinely broken I would not hesitate to believe that she still cries most of the day every day even 4 and a half years later. She is a broken woman. Every time she's been seen in court (which isn't often) she cries the entire time even when nothing about Meadow is being said. She breaks my heart I wish I could take some of her pain away I've never seen someone so broken in all the time I've been watching true crime/court cases.
I agree. Meadow and her mom seemed to have such a close, special relationship. Meadow’s brother posted a diary entry that Meadow had written about her mom… she wrote about how much she loved her mom and how special their relationship was. Meadow had even gotten a wishbone tattoo when she turned 18 in honor of her mother. I can’t imagine the indescribable pain she and all of the families must be feeling.
I'm crying with her....so sad.
Me too. All the family statements have gutted me. It’s so damn sad.
Disgusted my him, he deserves the absolute worst
“I suppress my reality to survive” (this) “unspeakable punishment” sums up the life that mothers who lost their children endure on daily basis for the rest of their lives. I lost my child 10 months ago to cancer. This individual is as senseless as cancer is.
Not to take away anything from how bad cancer is and how much pain you are in.. but this "individual"- this thing is technically worse than cancer. This waste of space is a cancer on the earth for sure, but it's a different and worse type than the traditional type we hear about, as bad as that is.
Meadow was the spitting image of her lovely Mama 💜
God, wrap your arms around these grieving families. I can’t even imagine. 💔
Where was god when their son was butchered by evil?
@@nuck- idk. It’s sad.
@@mrs.bendover8613
its as if he... doesnt exist or let it happen even though he could have stopped it? hmm
@@nuck- well, like , that’s just your opinion, man. 🤷🏻♀️
@@mrs.bendover8613
Not an opinion, just an observation. It must be one of those two things.
this poor woman my heart hurts for her. Griev is so painful. May Meadow rest in peace
I’m sure I would’ve had someone speak on my behalf because I wouldn’t be able to hold it together but this woman did this on her own. She is so brave ❤️
I'm surprised she hasn't,
He took the most precious thing in her life. That is the cruelest thing one human can do! This poor woman is broken. I can only pray that each moment, each hour, each day get better for her. 💝
How many more horror stories does the jury need to hear???
All of them. Every single one. Every parent brother sister friend boyfriend girlfriend teacher etc should all have the right to give their story
@@freddieflores8881 I agree. I hope their testimonies help them in some small way.
I cried right along with you, praying for you and your family
It's insane how the system drags these trials on for, this all happened 4 years ago!!!! He pled guilty to all 17 murders!!!!! Why make the parents relive this for this long!!!! Give him his sentence and let the families try to move on ( not that they ever truly will) but at least they won't have to look at the kid every day in court or constantly be reminded of his in humanly actions!!!!
we gotta fix our justice system. this is bs, not only how long it’s taken but the fact that he’s still breathing and wasting resources.
I can't believe they have the electric chair on standy......use the bloody thing. Get rid of this vermin.
Victim impact statements are very important for the sentencing
Signs were there that he needed help and no one helped him.
My heart breaks for all these families.
Intense pain and devastation coming from the very depth of your soul. Life is chaos.
What is the point of “swearing” in these grieving parents?? Like they are going to lie about their horrible loss and feelings about their children??
Judge is covering her "bases".
When you sit in that chair you have to be sworn in. Also for permission to be on record. It helps in the end. All of them are on record for the jury to review during deliberations. I hope they fry this dork. I would watch and eat a taco.
We can’t allow our feelings to cloud logic. Taking the approach of applying the rules only to those we feel they should apply is extremely dangerous. Also the parents have waited 4 years for this. They want to swear on a bible, before God, the universe, Allah- whatever they believe- that they will speak their truth. Which means speaking their child’s truth.
that's how it works... you can't make exceptions for certain cases, otherwise the system fails and is meaningless
@@c.erine78
What? It’s not about the judge, it’s just the rules of any court trial and those who are on the stand.
You sound like the typical criminal mindset, “it’s not my fault, the judge was trying to cover herself.” 🙄
I almost HATE that the shooter (will never speak of his actual name, he doesn’t deserve that), how he gets to listen to this heartbreak coming from the families. To me, I think it fills him up with satisfaction and that kills me. He obviously wanted to ruin peoples lives, he had a tremendous desire to hurt people, so him being able to listen directly to how he impacted even more than the direct victims probably makes him so happy and fulfills his demonic thoughts with joy.
Poor families ugh
Yeah and I get Angrier when it shows Him. 😡😡😡😡
He said they were going to SUFFER everybody will know his name, an 😈Monster.......
His name is 😈Monster.
His brain scan is just as normal has nothing to do with it, he made a grown man's choice to worship the DEVIL, to stand out, he did.
I agree. I even hate that he gets to wear “ real clothes” .He should be in a stinking jumpsuit.
@@DHen-ye2iv they keep saying " in the sweater" make sure 😈 is warm?
@@DHen-ye2iv EXACTLY. HE ALREADY GOT Privilege SMH
My heart breaks for this mother. I fear she will make it. May peace and happiness come to her in some way. ❤🥰💔
Poor mom, bless her heart. The pain she must be going through, and that pain will probably never go away. When they show Cruz, it’s like he’s sitting in court waiting to pay a basic traffic fine instead of being sentenced for multiple murders. It’s like he has no remorseful feeling. How could he hear these hurt families talk about their children/loved ones and have the type of demeanor he seems to have. A demeanor like, “Ok, move on, what’s next, get this done so I can get out of here.” Sad.
He is getting OFF he said on their SUFFERING......
😈monster B4 them ALL.......
What would a "remorseful demeanor" look like?
there is no 'probably' about it. This poor woman will NEVER lose her pain. Her world is shattered and she probably wakes up every morning and for an instant everything in the world is fine and then reality crashes back in and the devastation starts all over again.
People don't seem to realize what that is. It's a "human" only in technicality. All that actually is and always has been since the day it was born is a stinking pile of feces. And trust me, that's an ENORMOUS put down to a pile of feces.
So heartbreaking. I can’t even begin to fathom the pain these victims families are going through.
My words don’t mean much but I send my love and condolences to you and all of the other families 😔
Same here. This is so devastating. I feel for these families I don't even know.
Your words mean everything if they are intended with kindness.
@@carag2567 Agreed
They should do the clockwork orange thing with the kid and force his eyes to stay open and force him to be attentive to the suffering he created
I can't even watch any more of these. It's too heartbreaking. The pain is too hard to watch.
He's getting exactly what he wanted. He wanted to see the family of those victims suffering. My human resources manager Son was in the school when he received the phone call from his wife. He dropped to the floor crying. Fortunately he wasn't in that building.
These videos are so difficult to watch. God Bless these families and may they all see the justice they deserve.
💔💔💔💔💔
They will never get the real justice they deserve because the US has deemed the type of torture this little creep deserves as inhumane. He will never be forgiven here on earth and we can only hope that he'll exists and is scores worse than our imaginations can create.
That HELL exists
I'm surprised the father was never in court once during the trial. I never saw him.
I've watched all the parents testimonies .. this 1 is hard to watch.
That has to be so hard to do it is beyond me! Prayers for them all!
Meadow is such a great name. Makes me think of a naturally beautiful, gentle, peaceful, and emotionally nourishing environment. Hope these dear grieving families can eventually forgive Cruz so they can purge his hate and violence from their hearts for good.
(Obviously, it will take time.)
I also hope this jury and the court do the right thing and provide real justice to these poor broken families.
MY HEART BLEEDS FOR ALL THIS FAMILIES😪😪😪😪
Who the hell is paying for a month long sentencing trial? This is ludicrous.
My heart just aches for these families who lost their loved ones, and for those who were injured but survived, and those who are left with emotional trauma due to the heinous actions of this individual.
This is terribly sad and imagine it’s 4+ years ago! I don’t think this evil murderer should be allowed in for the family state to. He’s just making himself feel good about the destruction he’s caused. Prayers and love to the families and friends.
May the soul of our beloved Meadow Pollack rest in peace with the Lord and let perpetual light shine upon her. Amen.
Gosh my heart just aches for her and all the families that have been impacted by this senseless act.
Prayers of strength and comfort for them all.
God Bless all these families, I hope they get to see justice be served
Where was god when their son was butchered by evil?
"God" obviously didn't bless anyone in the building, right?
@@AzDesertFoxx God isn't allowed in school, remember?
@@bobkane432 there is no god
@@AzDesertFoxx Except for Nik
Omfg humans weren't designed to endure this kind of trauma
So painful and rough just to watch this. Poor lady, I can't imagine. I wish her the best. Though that feels insignificant all things considered. Absolutely heartrending.
Jurors watched all this and some still voted against the death penalty. Let that sink in.
she has me absolutely crying as well. just so heartbreaking, i can’t imagine what these parents are going through
What gets me is that these family members apologize for crying. 💔
It is NOT right that these parents have to testify in front of the person that killed their children! This Man should have been done away with already!! To have to feel like you have to testify to make sure this person gets death or life is insane, he doesn’t deserve this trail nor does he deserve a breath for one more moment! Many people suffer worse childhood traumas and don’t go shoot 17 beautiful souls! May GOD HAVE mercy on his soul!! May these parents understand their children want them to feel joy and live the best life, cherish the time and savior the memory’s your children want you to live on , not punish yourselves! GOD bless you all!
Well said
He didn’t suffer trauma but the small animals and pets he killed and the mother whose teeth he knocked out did. He was adopted by a loving family as an infant. HE was the trauma inflicted upon his family and obviously the victims.
"She is my life." "I suppress my reality to survive." "....would be for me to rip my heart out and have it shattered into a million tiny pieces." She is only surviving for her two sons. This mother is shaken to the core.
Broken not shaken and that will never change for this poor woman or the rest of the victims families. I know the death penalty is not a deterant but I sincerely hope that monster get its - he doesn't deserve any type of existence after causing all this lifelong pain for people.
I have 4, all a year apart and cannot imagine the sorrow of this beautiful momma and her siblings…my 3 sons adore their little sister💙💕. Prayers for all🥰
I hurt for her! He doesn't deserve to be listening!
From one parent to another the whole nation weeps with you. And with every tear that falls the look in this judges eye becomes ever more ominous....justice in nigh..and it is turning very black.
Absolutely
Ms Kaplan I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss... you are unbelievably strong in a world that needs mothers to hold it together more than ever. I sincerely hope you and your boys find peace someday. With all the sympathy a stranger can give another stranger...
I'm not even pass the part where she shows the jury the picture of her daughter & already feel my heart breaking for this mother. Though-- I do not know the pain & suffering all these parents are going through! I get such a sick feeling just thinking about what this demon did to these kids!
I pray for everyone of Parkland. Every family, every kid, teacher & every soul.
The fact that the victims have to sit right next to the murderer of their children.
I pray God wraps his arms around this mother and heal her pain of losing her child in this manner, along with all the other families. This is so sad.
why not pray for your God to stop the shootings in the first place? he could, but is choosing not to
He’s legit heartless! He has never ever shed a tear ! MONSTER!!!
I can't watch this too much, it breaks my hart and I get depressed, I am so sad for the families
I have never wanted a defendant to get the death penalty so badly.
let the rage run through your veins
I can’t imagine losing one of my children especially this way. I can’t imagine the emptiness she’s feeling. My daughter is in highschool and just the thought omg 🙏💔🙏💔
Oh my goodness I cannot even begin what pain and suffering these families are going just heartbreaking to watch none of these beautiful families will never be the same. I pray for everyone affected that justice prevails in this sick evil case. Praying from across the pond 🇬🇧
I really can’t believe these 17 families are dealing with this traumatic experience , this life changing experience 🥺 my god i hope the jury really give these families the verdict they are looking for.
Tears rolling down 😢 why anyone has to go through this…I pray to god to give strength to this mom !!!
I just want to hug this wonderful woman hold her so strong and tell her that she is such a beautiful soul!
💯 agree with this woman , sorry for your loss ❤
She needs some psychological, spiritual help. That must be really difficult to go through, a mixture of anger, rage, depression, despair!
so sorry grieving mommy no one knows the pain of having a daughter murdered there are no words heart breaking nightmare that haunts a grieving mother every each heartbeat until her last moments may karma haunt the killers who kill our daughters
I can't imagine just sitting through all these testimonies and stories and not showing any emotion like even I'm on antidepressants and it's not easy for me to cry and these people sharing there heartbreak brings me to tears
So sad. Heart wrenching
He’s a monster of epic proportion. It’s terrible to listen to these parents yet we should listen. How this mother goes on I don’t know
Before her words, her eyes said it all.. her pain is so devastating. God bless you..
You are strong. I feel so much sadness for you. I wish I could help you and the others. Your daughter is beautiful.
My heart hurts so badly for all the family's involved. Meadow was beautiful
This is so heartbreaking
Bawling my eyes out. Her pain is palpable through the screen. I can’t imagine. No one deserves to suffer like this.
why is allowed to sit slumped, doodle on a pad and look down during these testimonies??????? He should be forced to watch and listen!!!!
This is the saddest moment. Just no words. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
And she got those wonderful traits from you and your family.
So sad. God bless all these families.
Dear, dear mama. I felt your broken heart listening to you try to choke out the words. Brave mama.
Absolutely heartbreaking.
Every one of the impact statements has been so inexplicably heart wrenching, this story of Meadow is as well. Unimaginable horror, the thought of losing a child. Beautiful souls, hardly able to begin their stories, murdered in cold blood. Words fail us all most when we need them the most. Condolences, thoughts and prayers, encouraging families to remember their memories, seems ineffective trying to bring comfort to the families and friends of the victims.💔
I don’t know how the parents & victims can sit in the same room as this coward and not jump across the tables to rip him apart. Absolute coward of a ‘boy’ these poor parents losing their children way too young makes me so angry, so sad. Heartbreaking!
No kidding. I'm watching the videos and want to rip him apart. Those poor families. Just horrible for them.
because doing that cant bring their kids back :( but this court is so long :(( too painful for those families
It can also lead to a mistrial i read but it takes alot not to i get what u r saying...I asked myself the same question but that is what I had heard it could lead to mistrial and have to go thru it all over again
He’s part of our society.. you wanna put all the blame on the shooter but not on our support systems that absolutely failed this kid. Mental health services, Law enforcement, the School, Nobody showed Nikolas that they cared for him which definitely is a factor in why he did what he did.
Not trying to condone what he did of course, but if we could have only just have empathy for these people when they were showing warning signs, like getting into fights at school, making threats, and stop labeling them as troubled or crazy, and adding to this lifetime of loneliness and rejection they feel, and make our support systems better then they are now, then we can prevent these types of perpetrators from ever getting to a point where they have to go in a murder spree.
@@brandonayala4605 let’s hope someone who feels a bit down and “lonely” doesn’t shoot your children one day. What a stupid way of thinking. This evil boy makes excuses for what he did and people like you tend to believe him. Wake up!
It’s so hard for these poor parents. My heart breaks for them. 💔💔
My condolences to all the families that have lost a loved one in this shooting and stay strong and Amen God Bless You All🙏🏾🙏🏾
So sad. Deeply sorry for these families. 😔
First few seconds my heart broke 💔
I just said a prayer for her and everyone involved. Her daughter was so beautiful.🥺💙
THEY ARE PUNISHING THE VICTIMS MORE THAN THEY ARE PUNISHING THE MURDERER. GET ALONG WITH IT ALREADY.
THIS IS INFURIATING.
I’ve watched a few of these victim statements and my heart breaks for each and every one of them. Will never wrap my head around how someone and just now down a bunch of people like that smfh
My heart hurts watching you mom..Prayers from Weston..breathe..What a beautiful unforgettable name,and soul ♡
I'm so sorry for their loss. I hope it helped her to speak up a little in the never ending healing process.