Narcissists Are Terrible Friends
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- Опубликовано: 12 фев 2023
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My mother. I just figured it out. She says I’m bipolar because I react to her and the rest of my family abusing me.
These people make good hearted people turn bad.
My older brother. He used to say I was autistic- he used it as an insult, even though it shouldn't be one.. said I was crazy and that I'd react like a "retard". Absolutely vile.
Completely agree
Yes❤
Yes
Spot on....I personally think the damage from being born to a parent who is a narcissist has to be one of the worse things a child is put through....
Victims take a life time if emotional abuse...
you aren't kidding about the can't accept criticism...don't even tell them you don't like chocolate cake if it's their favorite kind...they lose their mind.
Yes. They will argue the grass isn’t green.
@@oliviamiller7434 yup...🤣🤣
Yes joycie God forbid you disagree with narcs or don't like things they do,they act like toddlers.
@joshuaanzalone2060 oh I know...I just had one tell me I dobt know what anxiety means...I said I do...I am talking to it 🤣
@@joyciehandley1959 Good one.👍😀
Yes, I have seen this. Can’t keep friendships . Don’t want friends , a constant belittling that they are better than and too good for those people. But use them when they want.
his have mannnny freands his always help them his werry popular like freand i dont know iff his discart them to and change them its reasen whay his have many ....true i am tereblo freand 😂
Yes when they do something for someone it’s just only because they want get something in return ….
🎯
Agreed! You took the words out of my mouth!
They suck at being friends but can't stop wanting to acquire them.
EXACTLY and why? Each of those "friends" is some kind of supply.
They're super-needy.
It’s due to their need to mimic, abuse, steal the identity of the other person, etc.
100% true. As much as we dislike them, always remember their punishment is already there: THEY ARE A NARCISSIST.
Correct. 👍
Oh snap!😅
I don't see them pulling away from others. They are constantly dependent on others to live through each day. They can't cope with themselves.
I reconnected with a friend on fb from high school. She would say things that seemed odd and I blew it off. When another mutual friend popped up on fb , I was ghosted and she apparently went on a smear campaign on me. I started thinking back to high school and remembered her doing this to other people. They only become worse
Block her go no contact
So true. Can't cope. Can't make plans. Can't keep plans. Can't act normal if they do show up, etc
Not always Narcissist traits. Trauma and other mental illnesses mimic these behaviours
@@anonymousmiss Trauma is what causes narcissism. *shrug*
@@ThimbleFox350 so trauma, plus narcissistic behaviors equal a 100 percent clear diagnosis? Idk about that. No worthwhile concept with merit, will be entirely encapsulated by a RUclips short. You can have narcissistic tendencies because you’re a broken human…and not be a damn narcissist 🙄. People see this shit and think they can diagnose everyone else but don’t look at themselves.
@@anonymousmiss depression and anxiety are extremely self-focused if that's what you're referring to. We are the folks that need to practice mindfulness with the world rather than introspection bc we are too aware of the internal
You'll notice, everyone is a 'narcissist' EXCEPT, them.
"...as a functioning friend, they do not know what they're doing". Perfectly worded.
They make GREAT friends, when they're trying to "show" YOU how "wrong" you are about them by being the opposite to others as they are to you behind closed doors, in secret, away from others. It's dastardly.
That's why "know thyself" is the most important advice you'll ever receive. You must know who you are, otherwise the rest of the world will try and tell you who you are.
They’re demons wrapped up in flesh … RUN.
Your not kidding
Did You Ever See That Eyes Change That They Do!?! It's a Horrible Sight!!!😐
@@kennethworthen8129 yes. I was at a bar and he-my ex at that point came in by himself. He used to go to bars to hunt for prey. He practiced debauchery on a constant. I saw him come in and sit at the bar. He was literally scanning the bar with his eyes to see who he would hunt with eyes as black as coal.
I realised that my narc doesnt even have friends. All these people are just to spend some free time with.
They all talk crap about each other too. Competitive, jealous, passive aggressive. 😂😂😂 these clowns dig their own graves we don’t have to lift a finger against them.
The ex’s new wife said “he doesn’t have any friends, I feel so bad for him”. She’ll figure it out sooner or later… what she’s married to
Oh yes. Beware any adult man that has no personality dimensions like friends or hobbies.
But also be aware of the charmers. They're liked by many.
yes they do!
Huge red flag, no friends of the same sex. They fear other men catching on to their billshit or worse challange them in any way
Acquaintance: Yes, no long time development of those relationships 😢
I agree and but would like to share a point that many victims of these subhuman forms we are referring to as narcissists make it near on impossible to trust and many victims stay away from human contact and struggle as a result of damage experienced from them. Especially if the victim was living with narcissist parents since childhood 😉
They don't have friends. They are lonely people.
Actually, most have tons of friends. I know my neighbor is quite popular. He abuses his wife.
@@nutech1810 I meant real friends, not flying monkeys or other enablers.
Yes, they "compete" with you, they try to sleep with their friends' boyfriends and husbands, they use subtle put downs disguised as flattery, they USE flattery and USE you - one of mine told me she liked visiting me because I was smart and understand current affairs, etc. so she'd use the things i talk about to "sound smart" at "cocktail parties" - she also used me for a cheap place to stay, to pocket her work per diem, caused a bunch of problems and drama in my family, lying, backstabbing and talking about me to my n brother and mother; they are envious and deceitful. The same former "friend" as mentioned above, once i realized she was never a friend, I realized that in addition to a recent betrayal, she had set me up for assault and humiliation many times in the past. I've known her since we were 12/13 when a mutual friend died in part because of that same friend and her manipulation. Also, a pathological liar and gossip. There is NO telling how many people are confused because she's been spreading lies about them - or even personal but true things, that she had no right discussing with anyone, including gossiping about a child!!! My N brother is also a terrible friend...when a friend of his died of colon cancer, who my brother had been in conflict with because of my brother's callousness about that friends' baby being diagnosed with cancer - my brother apparently took his longtime friends' death as a warning and got himself a colonoscopy. He had zero care for his friends' child's batlte with cancer (that was the cause of their rift and my first inkling there was something very wrong with my brother, because of his animosity toward his friend's criticism) or his friend's death - it was a friend he had always been deeply envious of, in fact i wouldn't be surprised if my brother thought his friend deserved all of it. Meanwhile, both my brother and that former friend of MINE, are friends (narcs stick together, I've discovered) are doing just fine, living their lives without consequences for the terrible things they've done to ruin my life and other people's lives, with zero remorse or guilt or consequences.
They like their secret dramas.
And outloud drama in front of others.
My mother (narc) supposedly can't stand my ex bf (narc) and vice versa... But every time I've ever tried to get and stay away from him, they team up... Doesn't matter if I beg her to go no contact with him as well "well u just shouldn't burn bridges!! What if we need to use him for something?!!"
Yes, because that's exactly how narcissists view EVERYONE, as someone to use...
@@heydeanie took me years to realize my brother was jealous of my ex, the problems really began when my ex from decades ago re-appeared in my life and the smear campaign against us both began. I think it stems from an incident involving my ex in 1995, where he busted my brother being a filthy pig in my apartment and also my brother's overall envy of anyone having anything he doesn't. Consequently, he "decided" 20 years after the fact that I was responsible for his divorce (with a woman i introduced him to, who he abused, so now she hates me too) and turned my NM and dad against him, and I, eventually. Talk about a mind warp. I literally had to pull my psychic skills out of my backside, sit for 5 years and ponder all the nutty stuff said and done to me over the last 8-9 years, to figure out wth was happening. They're evil-minded and they project everything, or at least my brother does. I believe, based on his behaviour and things said to me via my dad that seem to be coming from my brother, that he also had judged me as being hateful toward my deceased NM. He has yet to figure out (and probably never will) that HE has a deep, seething rage toward her, which is why he abuses women. I forgave both parents, over and over - only to continue to be stabbed in the back and now have them manipulated against me, by my brother. I understand why they are the way way they are/were and even why my brother is the way he is (mostly neglect/spoiling - can do no wrong but has always had psycho tendencies, going back to age 4-5 that i recall) but forgiveness doesn't mean letting them abuse you without remorse or consequences, especially in my brother's case because he has been extremely hateful and his smear campaign quite intentional - even if he is not aware that he is projecting, the intentionality with which he has set out to ruin my life, is criminal and i have to hold him accountable somehow. And yes, they use people. He used me for a cheap place to stay, manipulated me into doing what was best for HIM over and over and over again. It's been going on for decades, and I didnt see it. The callousness, the contempt, the utter disregard for anyone but themselves.
Don't think it won't catch up to them before they die.
I've been a nurse's aide and seen toxic people suffer before they die. And if not this life time, maybe the next they'll get what they deserve- to be a sh@t eating fly.
I had a long-term relationship with someone who seems to tick all the NPD boxes, including the childhood trauma one but she DOES seem to have numerous friends. I do feel however that she manipulates them and has almost collected them, not necessarily because she likes them so much, but because they fulfill certain roles for her. She appears to know what people need (to hear) to get them in her sway.
Wonder if your friend is highly narcissistic? Just set a boundary, say no, give them a dose of their own medicine, or dare to be honest with them. You'll find out very quickly how easy it is to crack that eggshell ego of theirs. Real friendship is a mutually shared experience, built on understanding and compassion. It's a sacred bond.
I've been accused of this but it's actually the other way around. I'm so sad.
My narcissist aunt is jealous of her friend who is dying!!
Perfect example
So sorry to hear this....God bless her friend 🙏🙏🙏
Or it's a narcissistic abuse trauma response
I am the youngest of 4. My parents did not raise ME. The rest , they raised...i found out i was an "affair" child. So, it was trouble from the start. I found them later in life and wanted a relationship with my mother.... I really thought I needed her.. turned out she should have never had children. She was so damaged from her childhood. Born and raised in England, went to a very high-class boarding school. Came from a very wealthy family... but there had been issues she won't even talk about. I knew she was damaged. Anyone with half a brain could see that. I still held on for years, thinking Could love her hurt away. I ended up hurting myself....
It is their selfishness and they should feel guilty for not having raised you - but on the flip side of the coin it is better for YOU that they did not, I can very much understand and sympathize with U.
Do you think any mother who gives up her baby is a monster? Just selfish or immature? Defiled somehow?
All of my ex narcs friendships revolve around partying. They are all in their 40's they don't hold each other accountable for anything. He doesn't really share anything personal and the few times that I have heard him do so. It was an absolute fabrication, like half truths to full lies to show him was the victim in the story. He would do favors, but nothing really big, like handy guy stuff to make people feel like he was such a good person.
I have bpd and really trying to be a good friend because I love my friends so much. They are very supportive and I want them to feel loved and appreciated by me too! ❤
My ex is very friendly and helpful to people, but only if he can use them. If they know they cannot use them because they don't meet their expectations or are poor they won't even talk to them.
My malignant narc sister steals and corrupts my friends. Only those who call her on it will stay to be my friends.
I am withdrawn from the world because my life was absolutely destroyed by narcissists, I was used, abused, literally burnt and then thrown away like a piece of crap. I didn't even know about narcissm, thought I was the problem all along. It takes so much to rebuild, so I just closed the doors to my life as an empath, I am just a narcissist magnet.
Hang in there! I too had a Covert narc "mother" who always had to have it her way. She was very stupid, selfish and simple minded. She fell for the deceitfulness of riches; she had to have furs, jewelry and a luxury automobile. I, being an only child was the family punching bag. The physical abuse only stopped when I became too big and could then defend myself. The "queen" controlled the money and any attempts by me to become independent of her were secretly sabotaged. I could never believe such evil could exist in a person but there it was. She and her extended family were perfect in every way. I was made to look "crazy" and it was because of the phony quack (doctors?👿) concluding that my "illness" was inherited from my father. (Behavioral problems ARE NOT inherited genetically). Dad was a good guy but the narc "mother" was the problem maker. He could have done a LOT better than to marry her!
How is this possible to exist that kind of people,how can have access to intelligence but still have illness
My friend lost her mind over everything! X friend
As friends or more they just keep taking liberties and have no regard for your feelings.. it's all me...me ...me...my needs... Happy Valentines day Richard and I hope you find a better lady this year .
True! I tried making friends with a female covert narc downstairs neighbor. Awful! She wanted half of my monthly income, tried to control me, and ended up avoiding me. I just leave her alone and she avoids me.
Have you ever had a person who thinks they are psychic. No matter how much you tell them, they force their lies on you and try to make you wear their fractured magical thinking.
Is it okay to have a few good friends who your close to. A true friend sticks by you through thick n thin
I never cheated my friends or beyrayed them and offered many things towards them, even anything of their desire i offered,. but they are worldly. Betrayers
They are okay as long as there’s something to do like see a movie or go to an event. They have no idea what people do together like just visiting. Maybe that’s why they are suspicious of partners and marriages are poor.
She said she wanted me to be her best friend. Based on what.? After two months of the most shallow, superficial relationship she decided to discard me after going back on tinder. Super lame
Be happy she is gone. Seriously. Who wants a narc. as a friend? You don't and neither do I. First idea or feeling you get....listen to your gut. If there is clues they are shooting off discard them. No need to talk to or confront them about your concerns drop them quick and fast. Don't get caught up in their drama as they will flip the script and project on you. Also, don't fall for any of their honeymooning and/or love bombing. They will make attempts to contact you to make amends blow it off and stick to "no contact." Also, pay no mind to the smear campaigns. It is typical narc. behavior as they all do this. Live in your truth. Your truth is your truth and that is the only thing that matters. Their truth is manuplation, lies, triangulation, and tons of drama. Pay no mind to it and live your life. Also, try to stay away from talking to others about this. You want to come off as the competent and mentally stable person. Also, they also maybe flying monkeys. So be cautious and aware.
@@Prometheuspredator …..you know what you are talking about. As far as gut feelings, the first time we went somewhere in my car, at some point I turned to her and said, You know, you scare the hell out of me”. I don’t exactly know what made me say that right then, but she just said nothing and stared straight ahead.
I tell ya that was God talken to you and through you. Always pay attention and absorb what he tells you. God will give you moments of clarity to notice the signs. Basically the vibe they are giving off. Watch and pay attention always. Narcs. will tattle on themselves through their actions, words, behavior, attitude, character, and moral code and ethics. Keep you eyes and ears wide open. You getten that vibe always pay attention. Be aware and always watch for em. God will show you. You'll pick up on it and when one appears in your life all of a sudden just watch, wait and listen, and..........enjoy the ride. Seriously. You keep your cool and nonchalant way, and watch em errode from the inside out.
This guy is way too clever and insightful to ever be called a narcissist. I mean he knows everything that there is to know about the inherent flaws of other such people. Respect.
I feel that coverts are not capable of friendships however I’ve met a few overt narcissists that over time seem to learn some of the basic tenets of friendship
This is me!! Time to change!!!
💯👏After educating myself, learning and listening to these informative podcasts......it all made sense. Decades of waiting for a reciprocal relationship w/my sister....now I know it will never happen. I can relax, stop with the ridiculous "wishfull thinking", and just QUIT trying to make the relationship work. It's a new feeling of freedom....I have forced myself a down a new road of SANE people in my life. It took real effort....but I think it's paying off.
Richard is like a 🔫 💩 targeting individuals who are not "adults" 👿
.. Crimimal leftists love to say
. "grow up" when you call them out on their BS
Yes! New Freedom!! 🙏 💆♀️
This is a nice clue, especially when they discard you and you offer them to be friends, they act like you are insulting them.
It is kind of fun for me when a narcissist realizes they can’t control you. This person was not in my house but was part of my life at times. We didn’t chat as friends much, I would sometimes laugh or roll my eyes, or just grin when they did/said stupid things. They did nasty things which I couldn’t control and couldn’t speak up about because people I loved lived with them and I didn’t want to get them in trouble. So I loved those people, and put up with the narc. Praise God the narc is almost completely out of the picture now although there is always a shadow/concern of it showing up someday. I am appreciating these videos though, learning a lot. Thank you very much. I am also thrilled to read stories about how people are getting free. God bless you all. Never be afraid, or too proud, to ask for help to get free.
Agreed, nevertheless they need friends🥰poor damaged darlings
A narcissist runs his own "race" and ignores the consequences for others.
Narcissism means that a person is completely self-absorbed and has difficulty taking in the perspectives of others.
Narcissists always want to bring the focus to themselves. They are rarely sensitive to the feelings and needs of others.
A narcissist often has an extremely large number of familiar and superficial friends, but often lacks close friends.
Being around them can be exhausting.
You are wise and strong Richard Grannon! 💇
They are very awkward with other people. So having one as a friend doesn’t last for a very long time.
Spot on!!
Totally BS. I can now post videos on what bad people have done to me. Worldly people. This is horizontal egalitarianism. Thats not word salad?? They are criminals
My ex manfriend was negligent in all of his relationships. He just couldn't be bothered with anyone. He just didn't care. I tried to get him to see some lovely people in his life differently, but had no influence whatsoever. It is the saddest existence imaginable.
Your videos have helped me deal with the trauma from my parents and some previous partners as well -- thank you very much
100%. They pretend to be a friend .but always with an intent what can I get out of this or what more can I get from this person. No self respect at all . They want the best of friend and the perks it comes with. But HV no clue of how to be a friend in order to have one. They are envious of the good friend .. they are a curse to them selves.. at least our Goodness blessed us with a Christ Consciousness..we learn..and grow..they have no such a blessing..
Wow, I love all of these videos. I need therapy! 😂
Stop calling me out bruv
My husband is a passive-aggressive Covert Narcissist. It sucks.
Hi Richard
Thank you for posting these videos. They are super helpful. I don’t know how you figure out all these characteristics of a narcissist but they are so on point and so affirming to me.
I’ve been married to one for just about 25 years now. I have done a boat load of work on myself and have finally spoken to an attny. I’m moving forward but I have to say it’s been so difficult to move forward because it’s such a brain game getting free from a narcissist. They are like magicians in the way they can try to shape shift and cause you to be red pilled if allowed. Its very difficult to peel the layers of bullshit away to see way is genuine and what isn’t.
Thank you again
So how do they manage flying monkeys then? Or is that a use thing too? I will give you this in "good will" later I expect a favour you don't know about yet.
Every person I thought was my friend's horrible terrible under the sun everyone
So I resonate and totally agree 💯
Not just friends, but work relationships aka the bonds you build at work, that can also become friends outside of work... I know of one who is literally burning bridges left & right... she cares so much about her image, yet is also single handedly destroying it, WHILE playing the victim.
They never say hello just launch into what they did, what they bought, their plans etc. At the end they ask how are you and then don’t listen to your reply. Ugh.
I think that was me not many years ago... I have learned a bit how to be a better friend now but still have a hard time caring for people... Something that sometimes plays in your favour sometimes doesn't.
I love how he emphasized the word - Terrible. Truer words have not been spoken.
They are terrible people to be around full stop. Whether they’re related or not. The related ones think they can continually 💩 all over you whenever they feel like it, even attack your own family members expecting no recourse for their perverted cruel statements and accusations. And when you do call them out and/or there is recourse they B&m to other family members and blame you for their disgusting toxic behavior. Even lying saying you said terrible things to them when all you did was get them to clarify how “you’ve made everyone’s life a misery” and that saying an ambiguous blanket accusation has no credibility. They blame you for them saying awful things about your own family members who rarely speak to the narc in the first place. Then they try and manipulate the rest of the family to believe their vile behavior towards you and the callous behavior towards your own family members was ‘justified’. They certainly justify having their privilege of existence been taken away from them.
Brilliant saying by You.
When an individual only is able to boss around without compromise, how should this lead to teamwork? impossible.
My childhood was shit and I have one friend. Socially awkward and rarely go out. Both parents are narcs...so now I'm one too? I always thought I was crap, but now it seems I thought I was wonderful all along.
This is why I'm not friends with any narcs.
Terrible friends, terrible partners, terrible parents. The list goes on and on if you’re involved with one. Seek treatment, get your finances in order, start to plan your new life, and move on quickly and quietly.
They force the friendship, they try connect to use us, is terrible get way.
Terrible friends. Terrible family. Just awful on both counts.
Thank you for educating us about narcissists!
You hit the target with that one!
Damn it.. Ima NARCISSIST🎶
Well Said! They don’t know how to deal with relationships, non-commital, The Player with the Devil Energy!
It's called, "copping a feel" emotionally, spiritually and/or physically. The term, "little silver boxes" we all have those internally it's often taken or given
They don't have friends. His mother was his best friend. He went to her for everything.
I can't figure out if I'm the vulnerable narcissist or if my ex is the covert narcissist. I grew up with a mom that bc of trauma learned to throw everything back at me. Sometimes aren't we just doing the best we can until we know better, and then do better once we know better?? So many labels to identify wide spectrums of emotion? I get so confused. 😮🎉
Thank you.I was getting lost with determining my ex narc narcissistic NPD
All narcissists have friends who are decades younger than them.
No they don't. Younger people don't want to hang out with them forever
Hi Richard. Neil here. I’ve watched several of your videos. I’m on the autism spectrum and some narcissistic traits overlap with autism traits. I’ve been wondering for a while if I am a narcissist. It’s a question that many autistic people face. From what I’ve read the overlapping traits have much different underlying motivation. I’m posting this comment because I hope people will find it useful. Thanks for making your vids.
TRUE FACTS
May we be real and who we are. Leave the trouble maker liars to themselves. They care only for themselves.
A friend of 10 years was defending an actor who had allegedly abused his children and wife. ( I had just read about the incident and mentioned it to her) I told her that maybe she would see things differently if she had ever been in a domestic abuse situation ( like I had been). She continued to make excuses for this actor, saying the wife deserved it and then she said “ he just got angry, like when you got angry in the school parking lot and drove through a fence”. I was confused, I never drove through a fence. She spent the next three hours arguing with me and telling me I was angry and drove through a fence. She claimed my mother was there and saw it but my mother also said it didn’t happen. Now she won’t speak to me. Is this a narcissist gaslighting me? I’m
Just so confused
Oh, yes! True, pay attention. They will wreck your life!
Yes and they call every woman friends.
That's correct 👌
It’s a friend you have to take care of like your child. You can’t even scold them. 🤬😡😡
See how they try to turn their kids into them
So, I grew up in a dysfunctional family, with generations of narcissistic abuse, and I mean malignant narcissistic behaviors. I recognize some narcissistic behaviors in myself, and I have to admit that I suck at interacting with others. I assume that having grown up in that environment, I am likely a narcissist as well. I don't have a clue how to socialize or function very well. Can I stop being a narcissist? I'm doing my best, but it is quite difficult apparently. 😅
How to stop being a narcissist
How does one change this behavior? Or is that just something you have to accept about yourself?
If they can even have friends. My late brothers' wife never had any, was a def narc got worse over time. He told me "She said she doesn't like people", uh oh, bad all around and proved bad for him. Now he's gone, and she won't even talk to us grieving siblings.!!
ABSOLUTE GREAT ADVICE 🌍🌍🌍🌍 WORLD CLASS 💪💪💪
His eyes show that he is a liar😂
They hate anything good but condemn nd provoke one at anytime.
Richard you are soooo magnificent..a brilliant man of my heart! So profoundly well described... Like your shorts...
Did you know that if they are intelligent, they even know how to mirror their shot on you..they make it seem you are a terrible friend/lover/familymember.. i survived all this..still do lolz..and i only need to know..that if they blame me from running away (?!) or not telling them my secrets while they say shit back, i ask myself: am I doing that?! That means i check myself if i am narc or not..which indicate i am not what they blackmirror... It goes even further my dear Richard..most of them are warlocks..so it goes on other levels too...! They always have temporary friends and can play having long lasting friends or family who stay close .he buys their friends/people...and always will treaten and blacklist or let there people blacklist you..isolate you making you like you do not have friends...who knows the truths of who he is ..
Very complicated shit... They forget that those people always tell me they get paid to stay away which is shitty if them too..or worse... I stay alone and have some real friends...that's enough. They cannot create..they need to steal it...so i am fine....always... They hate that... Thank you Richard..xxx
Best description of her!
They don't have friends, only with another narcissist
u might think they are good but they are just learning you at this stage. here comes the competition, and the projection. the projection of their insecurities is enough to make me stay away….
pay attention
Watching Elementary right now... It made me think of you- certain parts with certain characters won't tell you in case you haven't watched and can't have spoilers.
You hit the mark 💯 percent