Narcissist Trouble? Just Do This!
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- Опубликовано: 15 фев 2023
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You simply cannot communicate with a narcissist…. They’re incapable of honest interaction!!!!
They hate silence when they're not in control of it. They have no problem going silent on you to punish you but it ends up not being a punishment. It morphs into a paradise noticeably free of a sadistic tormentor. It's in this silence you find your peace again, regain your sanity and realize you never want to go back to a narcissist's hell ever again. ✝️🙌🙏
Well said that’s so true
Everrrr !!! Lol
please punish me with the silance....for the rest of my lifetime...my biggest wish is they'll never come towards me for anything ever and ever...
Very well said and so on point
Especially when you feel indifferent 🤣
*"When u speak, u speak with purpose."* 💯
Be goal orientated and communicate to fulfill ONLY your objective. They don't care what you want, ONLY their objective. The narcissist has only a superior vertical power structure. BE QUIET, LOW CONTACT/NO CONTACT. DO NOT OFFER THEM YOUR WORDS OR OPINION OR THE TRUTH (STOP, but do not lie. Worship God only.)
Your silence shocks them.. they think you're addicted to them... such is their arrogance..... well said Richard.
The day you finally say “enough” and decide you have given up being emotionally abused with that menacing silence, the sun starts to come out in your life and peace surrounds you. You are eased into the next phase of taking back your dignity. You stop trying to love them, and start loving yourself instead.
Exactly
I’m saving your comment so I can read it again. I’m so tired of it all and just want peace.
Beautifully put! And sooo true!!!!
It's funny that when you go quiet and don't react, you can easily see the attempts at manipulation, every sentence made to get an emotional reaction.
once you come to see them it's ironic how typical they are to the trait's list.
Yup that’s why he left for work smiling because it did not work
I actually found it funny in the end as was so blatant 😂
Great point
💯
The silence irritates them like a grain of sand in their eye!
G O A L. Get out and leave. Problem solved
That's the only solution. I learned the hard way with my husbands exrteme narc half brother and his mentally disturbed wife. They were both narcs and if they got tired of pushing each other around and humiliating each other they would turn to me. I pray they never find peace in this life and another life.
Agreed
@@babdullah5025pray for peace the peace Jesus Christ gave us!
Amen 👍💯%.
@@babdullah5025 2 narcissist simply can't date each other. Either one of them is being controlled by the other or they have some other mental disorder, for ex. psychopath/sociopath.
A narcissist needs constant attention and ego stroking, and they want to put other's down.
BEST ADVICE I've ever heard from RG was- You are NOT obligated to communicate SINCERELY with the chronically INsincere. That 1 piece of advice Totally changed the way I have conversations or disagreements with toxic ppl.
Or don't expect people to understand you when their intentions from jump is to misunderstand you.
I like this. I try and talk and he ignores me or will say pardon over and over but I feel like I need to sit there and listen to his rambling when he doesn't even listen to me. I need to try and just be like ya I'm busy right now and walk away😂
She asked me a question, I began to answer but she answered her own question over me while I was still speaking🙄
All I have to do is sit there and not speak with a flat expression. He will create an entire plot that I’m behind his destruction and that I’m doing ALL these things on purpose! I don’t even have to respond, only sit there and look on in amazement at his reactions, the way he works himself up while blaming me for all sorts of things only because I’m silent. It REALLY does show you who they truly are!
This is when their paranoid, obsessive, delusional, and disturbed thinking comes into play. They are truly insane.
Get out of that relationship girl if you can...when your silent they start plotting it ends in an argument that somehow you will have started and you'll end up feeling guilty for...don't waste your time on it..get out
I once became buddies with a female coworker who had invited me to her home. I noticed she had several pictures of herself and spoke in vague and charismatic terms to butter me up so I would do her small favors like changing a tire or fixing her internal car engine problems. She tried being very "push and pull" with our small relationship but I saw through it right away thanks to your videos. It's like she keeps people around as if though we were a deck of cards, and our level of kindness was our health points.
That's what they do especially the female variety
I must not be dealing with a narcissist. I believe I'm dealing with a sociopath or psychopath and they don't give a rats ass if there's silence. In fact, they prefer it even if someone is injured and needs assistance.
This advice eased my anxiety .
The word salad and gaslighting
Were so confusing, especially since
I'm very logical. Once I saw it,
I learned to pay closer attention to
What was being said and would
Say a times "you must be tired
Because what you just said
Wasn't coherent, could you
Repeat that so I can get your
Point " He wanted me to be
Frustrated and caught off guard.
I put the responsibility on him to
Be clear. I wasn't going to
decipher nonsense any longer.
I literally take a piece of paper and make a list of two or three topics that I will discuss during the conversation. Usually they are related to wether, random cooking recipes, food prices. Anything that is not include argument or emotional triggers. I don't talk about anything else (theirs favorite topics: victimhood). And when they bring up other topics, I remain silent. Then I quickly move on to my subjects. Otherwise, I fall into the trap and get myself entangled in an emotional storm that can last for hours or even days.
You're a smart cookie!🍪
Awesome idea!💡
💙✌️✨
My objective was to speak the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the TRUTH. They feel they are superior and that the world revolves around them.
Sincerely, is better forget the truth when you speak with a narcissist or pshichopat, you can have surprises. My ex husband was a narcissist my mother in law was narcissist and my truth always was used as a weapon against me
Exactly! My narcissist is now dealing with my NO contact self
The narc actually gives me the silent treatment. For weeks on end
Try to view that time as a little vacation from their crap. Also - if they're giving you the silent treatment, give it right back. Don't continue to try to make contact when they're ignoring you.
When they do it try to go out or start reading. Don't let their behavior consume you.
Sounds like a Blessing 🙌 they showing you their true colors lol
Glorious🥳shut the door🥳
@@ACSuperstar I’ve learned to enjoy/adjust. At first it was upsetting because we have kids. But I now know this is a attempt to punish me.
Funny they don't mind giving the silent treatment but don't like receiving?
The best tip I can offer based off my experience with a covert narcissist boss is to have a reason to leave the conversation before the character assassinations start. I always make sure to interrupt the very last word of his response to my question with either a “oh my phones ringing” or “ I think I heard the door” to prevent the conversation turning off track.
Thank you for the reminder Richard. Every interaction for them is manipulation. Stay away, don’t give them your blue print, they all have intentions behind the questions
I call my mother on her birthday, Mother’s Day and on Christmas. I let her talk. It’s just a miserable experience all around
Safest possible solution is to “do not speak”, if that is possible for you. I sincerely hope you all find a way to free yourselves. 6 years on and I left every one of our mutual friends in my old life to be free. It’s hard but worth it! Good luck
Very best wished in life to you .
Ah the telegraph method
That's a hard lesson to get. But get it we must.
Spot on! If you have to communicate with a narcisists stick to the facts and be goal - your goal oriented. Thank you.
The silence either makes them think they are right or they demand you answer them or they start threatening you or they end up accusing you of being someone you are not OR they accuse you of things you are not doing
Go silent and say nothing. Leave while they are blubbering off at the mouth.
@@Prometheuspredator then they follow you and trap you into a room and demand you sit down, won't let you speak and gets more aggressive
I don't know if you can communicate with a narcissist, but if you're willing to try this is good advice ! 🤗
They hate silence ! 🤫
Sounds like both of my brothers!! Sense of entitlement!!! The devil is always in the detail!!
You actually give some of the best advice iv ever heard. Thank you!!!
I have no idea who is a narcissist anymore 😕
Nowadays 70 % of the population probably is. If they have social media and only pics of themselves that's a red flag usually
It's simple to work out who is and who is not
Exactly
Initially they CAN be very charming. It can also take a while for them to reveal themselves.
I can spot them a mile away lol
Powerful message brother for those of us who can't go no contact. Thank you and God bless you.
You have just described exactly how he is upon communicating with me, thus he will have his way or silence.
Amen. Be very clear on what I will tolerate.
You're doing good work, helping people deal with narcissistic abuse. Keep it up
Wow. This is so true. It was a hard truth for me. I never understood or even knew the dynamic of these type personalities until I got in a relationship with one.
What he said.
So good. I said that in college once. Needless to say I didn't graduate.
@@shaneclotiaux739hahaha, sorry for your troubles,.. Well what I would add, is never be your genuine self., he said that one too. If I remember correctly.
Sorry I pressed the wrong button before😊
The 500 word essays often comes from the victim
Not always. Some victims will shut down and disappear.
@@NoName.NotNamed initially they will argue bit after 7/8 cycles of cognitive disonance then they will find the persons repulsive. Depends of the person is codependent (which in itself is a personality disorder)…could last a lifetime.
That's what I was thinking.
@NoName That's what I was thinking cause that's what I do. I'm learning, tho. My energy levels aren't what they used to be, so I've had to learn to just stop it. I need to listen to this twice a day to quit trying altogether.
Yeah theyd come from me trying to work it out and apologize while she gave me the silent treatment. Then I’d lose my temper and I’m the crazy one
This is true! Always communicate with purpose and learn that you're not speaking with someone you can trust.
It's a shame that they live by vertical power structures because they always remain in some lofty, illusionary position and reality has to bring them crashing back down to Earth. Only the truth will set you free! 🙏🏽✝️
Oh I have so many of those essays. Not about how horrible I am but how I've figured him ALL WRONG and everyone else agrees he's a great person so why can't I just get on board with that? Pfffffffft
"For it is in giving that we receive."
-- Francis of Assisi
Let us start with silence.
exquisite 🙈🙉🙊
And the help keeps on coming. God bless ya 😊
Narcissist very fragile ego gets injured by either a misunderstanding or a magnified thing other people wouldn’t even notice. Anything that you are saying is first processed as a potential reason to get offended. You have roughly 2 minutes to make your point in order to stop Mr Hide surfacing from the abyss.
Or maybe they re in grave problem and ur the narcis its exactly where Im becomin narcissistic... Not caring anymore bout noone but me
@@lucijavolcansek1939 : Trauma bond can make you emotionally desensitized. Close your eyes and try to remember a nice moment from the time before you have met your narc. How do you feel after that? Or you can do another test. Go out and give a smile to the person who served you a coffee or something else. That person will see you only not the shadow of your narc. The second time go with your narc and give a smile to somebody. Then compare the 2 people ‘s reaction towards you. Come back to me and tell me how it went.
@@bookmarkmonaco4255 i Fake it cuz i Love my self and how i feel. I dont realy care. Only one i care bout is me and my son. Yeah no going back. I was Hurt. I Would never be so cruel to someone. I deserve to protect myself.
@@lucijavolcansek1939 ..hang on....so it's ok for me to live by this rule? This rule is not good. It means I don't have to care about you and your son. Sorry but I actually care about people. All of them.
@@theAussie01 prove it and i dont need u
Agree 500% ive been using silence with my narc spouse and it pisses him off. He loves to talk, and talk loudly, is abusive and an alcoholic. They love noise, he keeps the tv on loud just to listen to news channels and senseless debates on it, at times not even really paying attention to the tv. They are disturbed individuals carrying emotional baggage
It's disturbing enough thinking about the need for communication when you have children with the narc. I stopped telling him about the school stuff when I’m sure he has got the information from school directly.
It goes against my nature to back down . Especially when there is injustice involved. (false accusations, false narratives). It is something that I am working on. Until the day comes when I can escape for good. Sending love and good energy from Minnesota to all who need it.
I have that same thing! Seeing unjust situations really irks me & it’s really hard not to speak out, but after years of learning the hard way don’t let the narcissist use that against you! If they know that about your nature they will try to provoke you especially in arguments…not worth it with these monsters! Nothing just about dealing with them! Thank you for the love & good energy! I need it dealing with my narc(s); multiple in the fam 😭😭😭😭😭
I adapted to the technique of ignoring them not even looking at them while avoiding any conversation but being prepared to shoot them down and defend your self when forced to be around or eating with them.
Your always spot on 🎯
I have gone no contact - forever is my goal.
That's SO CONFUSING!! Richard and Dr. Ramani nonstop say how the silent treatment is immature and unnacceptable!
They talk to everyone all day but when it time to talk to me his girlfriend he says I’m boring or I don’t talk I always have to have a story or something to say.. so I have to speak about something but yes I’m learning so much now it’s hard but I’m learning the game
don't learn the game..just leave the no relationship no connection and be yourself and never stop being yourself and a genuine person and people will be warming and warm with you....if he ain't warm welcoming you it's just fake
I woke up in the narcissist bed one morning n said straight to his face so what do u want to do about communication ( honestly I didn’t care about the answer I literally wanted his masks to slip I forced it to slip to get away) he looked at me n said, “I don’t care, I don’t argue with ppl.” 😮 argue? I’ve been so kind n genuine to this person n I’m in awe of how cruel n insensitive someone can be I’m more amused than hurt because I’m backtracking n I’ve literally did nothing wrong. There’s no way u can have a life with these demons!
Oh the lessons I learned! You're so right! I got out, and released myself from this patristic creature....
Yup exactly. Communicate?? You don't Communicate . Talk about the weather anything else they go into a rage.
Truth. The less the better when communicating with a narcissist. Use few words with short and simple replies. Try to keep your contact with the narc. straight forward with generic replies, such as conversing and answering their questions with the same identical replies and answers. Same answers and/or reply. Try to avoid long conversations as they will use this format to try and bait you. To pull you into their drama and chaos. Best practice is to limit your conversations. Speak to them in a no emotion monotone voice. I referr to this as talking like a robot. Try to avoid any elevation in your voice. Short, simple, and straight to the point. Use text as much as you can. If you can respond later not immediately.
It's different with a covert to a overt narcissist.
Thanks Richard. 🧡🙌
Love this. I think I'll just keep listening to it throughout the day while having to deal with the narc. So true. Be goal oriented only.
Yeah, response with one liner only but do not react... Then evade... Narc is terrible person to talk to...
You are powerful and empowering.
Is that not the way they communicate.
He hated when I didn’t say anything. But by that time I was so exhausted it was my Only option. I couldn’t win either way
I wish I knew this 20 years ago!
Thank you thank you thank you
This was exactly what I was thinking we had never heard of the word narcissist, knew something was seriously wrong with him, he chewed me up and destroyed my self esteem (which I have back now) was like living in a confused nightmare most of the time. Had so much charm until the day after we got married.
That's right....Narcissist are Sadistic, false little gods demanding you obey them, so they can use you over and over. Don't play the games....Silence is Golden. Use it.
They hate when u speak with purpose because they can’t speak with purpose. They literally hate u for who u are but they will not verbally admit it to you. They want to be u so they mirror u in hopes that u don’t find out who they are. The funny thing about mirrors they break‼️✌🏾😎 I cried I grieved but it was way too easy to move on because I seen the patterns n when u lay everything down on the table trust me that’s the thing they hate the most cause they’re like kids they do not care n some of em will tell u straight up.
I try to speak as less as possible, yes or no. Ok or not ok. I often think of the words before I say it and often I realized no words are needed. Be safe everybody.
You wage a war with them. Its unfortunate you need to resort to these type of things. Well done Richard at least here its a safe zone, there are other good teachers on this subject online, only follow you, unfortunately sick of getting trolled there and attacked then having to tell them to bugger off, no safe space here everyone is normal and theres genuine people who are learning and improving
Id rather learn and improve myself and validate then waste my time in a slanging match just over drama queens
Im glad same age group so you relate well and you complement what my Dr says, Im healing well and got my voice personal power back, thanks keep up good work😇
No contact or this sentence after a long text:
" I bet it seems that way."
To👏🏽get👏🏽my👏🏽lick👏🏽back👏🏽
🤣🤣🤣🤭
I'm very stoic and got time. 🤷🏾♀️
So basically, with a narcissist (or who we deem a narcissist), we should be/act like a psychopath. Isn't it typically the victim that writes the essays because of all the pain and the life that's being ignored/overlooked and life that's coming out of them?
It depends on the type of narcissist. My uncle is the one who will send essays. But, with others, it was me sending the essays, which they replied to with minimal words; if they replied at all. I no longer send essays... it's a waste of time to try to tell them how to act like a decent person. And they don't care if they hurt you, so it's useless to tell them.
It's all about intention! If in a street fight with the psychopath, you can't just let them wail on you. Same thing applies for the mental scenario. They lost the privilege of our empathy probably a while back
Bingo. So right.
THIS VIDEO NAILS IT!!! I am an empath. (Narcissist bait) Do what Richard says yall and KEEP your power and LIFE! He speaks truth!!! Thank you Richard! God bless you sir!!💯❤🍀
100% when I talk with my ex wife I know what I want and I keep the conversation to the point when she goes off topic I just don't answer
Thank you I needed this information. Bless you ❤ 🔥 🙏 👑 🙏🔥❤
Golden Advice: GOLD GRANNNON👊
This guy is a GOD SEND. BLESS UP Mr. Grannon from Tennessee, USA
No fuel, no contact. Works like a charm, and we have to ask ourselves seriously if we respond without clear reason. That is something we can write on ourselves as codependency.
The greyest of rocks WILL BE the last rocks standing when the narcissist landslide occurs- WHICH WILL MOST CERTAINLY OCCUR!
Yeah, I have learned not to give them any ammunition.
Excellent advice. I have been doing the no contact. Now he is resorting to texting my sons to relay messages.
thank you so much. Bcause of your content its almost a year without a contact now. I'm proud and glad😊❤
unfortunately, I HAVE to live with my 80 yr old narc mom, I think I say 12 words a day to her, its hard to live with her but it is so nice to have ppl like you, thx
Make sure you draw a map back to your original point because they will wander all over and try to drag you with them. You can ask a question ten times and watch them redirect 10 times and never get an answer. Good luck!!!
One of your best...
No horizontal power structure. I am on the bottom of the power structure. Speak with purpose. Got it.
😏 best thing I ever told my ex was in reply to his outrage that I didn't care about him. I said, yes, you're right! In fact, I'm completely indifferent. It was the worst thing he could have ever heard.
That's the only thing I say that mine will flat out ignore like it wasn't ever spoken.
Thank you so much for all your wisdom, guidance, and clarity. You have helped literally countless numbers of people ❤
Don't bother communicating with them. You'll expose your vulnerability and they'll just use it against you. Grey Rock forever
Silence is golden in A scenario like this.🤫
Silence is Golden ….So I went No contact
Wow. The timing of your post was perfect. I actually have a daughter who is gaslighting me…… looks like she has been doing this for ages. Wow.
Excellent message.
This is very well done. It's concise, informative, and elegant in its delivery. The message is definitely very well taken by me, and I hope to employ "no contact/low contact" with the narcissists in my life - as there are many 🙁.
you are amazing. thank u for the precious advise. the smartest advice I got from a therapist about how to handle a family member like this was to adopt a reduction strategy (reduce words, reduce sharing about your life, reduce interactions, reduce shared work or family engagements to a minimum, reduce minutes of phone calls, reduce glances etc) and it worked,but it's worth to remember it
Silence kills them
powerful video 🦋🦄🦋
I went for help and was told to walk away from him, this didn't work he just followed me, I sat in a walk in wardrobe once to get away so he went and got the children and told them I was crazy. Even after divorce he would not let go, in the end I move Continant, and came home to UK... Yup he still kept at me for another 10yrs, been silent for 2 hope he stays that way.
This is extremely powerful and excellent! Please keep this content coming Richard. Your teachings have worked wonders in my life. Plus I appreciate your assertiveness!
This is actually true. I have experience of 18 years from my narcissistic dad. You have to be a stoic as hole and ignorant to keep them in line.
Being nice doesn't get you the nice treatment back, instead they think you are stupid and deserve to be stepped on.
Really Sick Ones!!
i have a toxic narcissist for a landlady, reducing (as i sometimes cannot 100 % stop) contact n limiting replies to a minimum, as well as NEVER replying or reacing to passive-aggressive or derogatory remarks or has helped me soooo much....
Thanks a million for your videos and help. Is bring me freedom, happiness and confidence to instead of live isolated, afraid, get up and deal with this in appropriate way.