Chris Rock on Therapy & Childhood Trauma | Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
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- Опубликовано: 28 мар 2022
- Chris Rock reflects on the effect that events from his childhood, including being bullied, have had on his life and talks about his experience with therapy.
On Audacy’s Fly on the Wall, Saturday Night Live stars Dana Carvey and David Spade take listeners behind the scenes and reminisce about their favorite SNL moments, memories, and sketches with special guests.
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Seeing this interview makes the whole incident even more painful. Nobody should have to be bullied again at the age of 57. Chris rocks!
@Matias Martinez Will didn't handle himself well at all. Chris is a class act. Kudos Chris
[to the tune of FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR THEME]
Now, this is a story all about how
I let my industry all down.
And I'd like to take a minute,
just sit right there,
about how I wrecked everything by not being self aware.
In south California with the sun's rays,
on a backlot is where I spend most of my days.
Workin' hard, actin', tacklin' each role,
and over time, on my marriage, that took a toll.
So some guys knew my wife, they were f*ckin' her good.
I would never run but I knew Jada would.
Chris Rock made one little joke how she shaved her head.
She said, "You're standing up for me if you want back in my bed."
I walked up to Chris Rock and when I got near,
he laughed and called me "Richard" without one ounce of fear.
If anything, he was caught in the stage light glare,
Then I slapped him in his face like, "That's my lady fair!"
I walked back to my seat and in front of the crowd,
I yelled two times, "Keep my wife's name out your f***in' mouth!"
I won't go to prison 'cause I'm a millionaire.
I sit in my home with the bitch with no hair.
@Matias Martinez dude, who made you cry? You want to tell us about it? Do you need help?
@Matias Martinez You don't believe that shit. Hillary Clinton ran for president and Trump ridiculed her nonstop in public. Should Bill have ran out on the debate stage clobbered Don? Gimme a break. The bald broad needs to fight her own battles with her words like an adult.
@Matias Martinez Chris showed strength by not stooping to Wills level. Check mate
Chris, you have shown yourself to be a class act. I hope you are feeling all the virtual hugs you are getting.
Ahh, so beautiful. I hope he is too.
Yes! I totally agree. I've always loved Chris, I'm sending him hugs right along with you ❤ 💗
It's a blessing in disguise.
I'm sure (hope) he's now realizing it.
Of course i'm not condoning what Will did.
Kudos to Chris Rock for his response to Will Smith, especially given his personal struggles with past trauma. I've always loved Chris as a comic and have even more respect for him now. 👏
He treated Will Smith as an unstable person, not someone who had a point. Good call.
More people need to watch this. This disrespect at the oscars is so unbelievably heartbreaking
It's puts a whole new perspective on Chris Rock keeping his cool. He would have felt the anger, and the fear, and have been working on it in therapy and then BAM
@@catv4006 Will needs theraphy too. His father pushed his mother down stairs and made her bleed then abandoned them. He said he felt like a coward for not defending her. He needs to deal with his pent up anger and self loathing and not take it out on others.
My child hood trauma is really really really bad.
When Chris Rock said he didn't want to make a bad situation even worse that is because of his childhood trauma that is a trauma response mechanism I do the same thing and as for taking care of myself I don't do that I have to take care of everybody else around me so yeah it's really awful and I can buy my children or somebody else like a nice phone but I will not do that for myself I don't feel like it's okay and I've been trying to find therapy for two f****** years and I can't find nothing
I know its wrong, but it would have been really awesome to have seen Chris tear his ass up!
My heart broke for Chris Rock. And the fact nothing was done and his 'bully' was rewarded. Absolutely disgusting human behavior. No wonder we got so many messed-up kids.
Chris Rock, the stand up comedian and stand up guy. He held it together so well. Very cool.
Hearing that Chris Rock was bullied when he was kid and then what happened to him at the Oscars makes it really heartbreaking.
This happened to him as a successful black man in entertainment who's almost 60. And that happened to him on tv and will be replayed globally forever. Humiliating. Not forgivable.
The end is just perfect, “so now I can, you know say, ‘hey I didn’t like what you said’ without hitting anybody.”
I had a real visceral reaction to what happened to Chris. He looked so shocked and hurt and the pain he was experiencing just on his face after Will Smith made me so angry. Then when he started screaming at him with such vileness and rage I was sick to my stomach and filled with literal hate for Will. I was so angry for no one pulling him out of that building immediately. We love Chris Rock!!!!
💯 if you mean shocked and ‘hurt’ as in betrayed…. Chris leaned-in thinking Will would be somewhat appropriate instead of essentially sucker-punched. BTW reportedly security asked Will to leave after his outburst, and he refused.
BTW had belligerent neighbor 2x my size (6’-2" 270lbs) half my age, and 2 pit-bulls… pepper-spray was surprisingly comforting to have on-hand.
same
I felt for both. Stuff like this shouldn't be about sides, it should be about coming together and understanding each other.
Who's to say anyone would've acted differently on both ends if you had been through everything, both had gone through. No point in acting like both acted unpredictable.
Ppl keep replaying it and I can’t watch the video because it literally makes me sick to my stomach and I feel like I could cry for Chris
To me the way Chris Rock reacted and came back from that abuse and shook it off is because of the abuse he's suffered before and not wanting to create an atmosphere. If you have suffered before at the hands of someone else, you will put other people first even though you are the victim, you don't want to behave like one. It's a security blanket. But, I am sure from the comfort of his own home, later on when he went home, the emotions of what happened to him finally sunk in. He is a consummate professional and I have the utmost respect for him. I really felt bad for him in those moments after Will violated him, and make no mistake Will did in fact do that. I was a huge fan of Will's up until that moment but I don't think I will be able to see him in that same light. He's definitely bee emasculated by Jada and it shows. It's been showing for a long time. I also felt sad for Will as he's a fantastic actor and deserved an Oscar but he messed up big time.
I love that Chris is taking a measured approach to his response. He's taking a step back and getting it right in his own mind before he offers up any kind of public response to Will's behaviour.
Or he's looking for a brick.
@@lexietalionis Well, there is that, but I'm guessing that, unlike Will, he's gonna use his words, not his fists.
Yes. Classier & classier every step of this unfolding. The other two - trashier & trashier 🙈
Chris is still numb, and as he said, “processing it.” That takes time. He is a consummate Professional, that’s for certain! But, in all of his years-doing his Job-this is something he never expected (and Why should he? 🤨). This isn’t something one can wrap their head around easily, unfortunately.
One thing I haven’t seen talked about as much as the literal slap itself, was the way Will yelled at Chris. I grew up in an abusive household, and the anger and aggression in Will’s shout took me right back to my childhood, and made me want to hide in my room. (It’s intimidation. Forcing someone to obey you with the threat of violence in your voice.) And even Chris says here that his abusive childhood home was “loud.” I can’t imagine what that shout felt like to Chris, too.
The yelling was horrific - I will never look at Will Smith the same way again.
The yelling reminded me of my childhood, dealing with all the blame and finally expressing it aloud without filtering.
Definitely feel for Will and Chris
Same here.
@@dameionarutogaming9728 Why allow yourself to feel any sympathy for Will? Even if the trauma in his life isn't all self inflicted, he was a willing participant in it. If I was a person of any significance, I'd get cancelled for what I'm about to say, but it's akin to feeling sympathy for Hitler because he had a fucked up childhood. No! Will Smith's meltdown was a culmination of the abuse he allowed to be inflicted upon him from his home life or anything else external to the events of the Oscars and Chris Rock was just a casualty of convenience. Sorry, he doesn't deserve anyones sympathy.
@@MisterMister5893
I agree 100%
That shit breaks my heart!!! I'm so sorry you guys had to deal with that crap as children.
Chris is right, some therapists are great, some are horrible. Never stay with a therapist that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Some are downright mentally ill
Therapist are also there to challenge you at times
Same for group therapy. Some groups are great, and others won’t do you any good. It’s ok to search for a better fit, as long as you’re not hiding from something.
Where I live the therapists don't even listen to you
Best advice for approaching therapy!
Chris set a great example for me personally too. I felt bullied during childhood and that scene was so triggering. Even after Chris's struggle with childhood trauma and public assault in adulthood , by how he handled that I know he'll be okay and it gives me hope that I'll be okay, Better than okay!
The fact that he didn't come out with a statement right away shows how deeply hurt and humiliating that experience must have been. He didn't deserve that.
@@Gitn2it yes but he surely deserves all the love and respect he is getting currently for that "agnipariksha" Is what we call in Hinduism, a challenge to test your inner strength and wisdom. Since I've failed it so many times, looking at Chris I feel humbled and grateful to know of him and his story 🙏
It breaks my heart being a fan of both Chris and will for so long. I was also bullied. I feel his struggle.
THANK YOU DANA!!!! Thank you for going to therapy for yourself and for sharing your story with everyone.
A lot of us carry around demons from our childhood, me included. But, to recognize who that demon is inside of you, accept it, and choosing to not listen to the poison is real self growth and shows just how mature these three are. Keep learning, keep growing.
@cynicalmushroom For sure and I say one must have a guide because what may come out could be overwhelming. My first therapy session was asking, "but what if I loose it and start wrecking the office?" He responded basically like I don't think that is going to happen. It didn't.
Mad respect for Chris Rock
Chris Rock is a legend!! How he handled himself during the Oscars was amazing, will Smith was bang out of order, he's nothing but a pathetic school yard bully, and his pathetic teary eyed dribbling speech followed by a lame ass apology just doesn't wash!!!
Jada has Will on a choke leash... 🐕 still no excuse for what he did
especially if the 'apology' comes after partying all night with a smile form ear to ear
I really enjoyed this video. Chris Rock is a class act & should be protected at all cost
We love you guys!! Chris Rock, you rock, you handled the bully (you know who I'm talking about) like Martin Luther King Jr would have. God bless you!
The world has nothing but respect for Chris Rock - you did not deserve what happened at the academy awards! Absolutely a legend ❤️
Some people think they the only ones going through some shit, we all going through some serious shit yet we don't walk around smacking people on the face.
Respect to Chris
This clip of the Oscar’s could actually be a really great thing to teach children about bullying, and how to be the bigger person. Chris Rock is so cool, kids would take it seriously, and see how many people are praising him for how he handled it. And how not cool it is to be the bully, like Will.
I have a lot of respect for Chris in how he handled all that, but even more so after hearing this. I was abused as a kid and I totally understand those kind of emotions. I'm also in my 50's and could not imagine having to experience something like that again after all the healing I have started to go through over the past few years. Chris did not deserve that treatment at all.
Same (abused as a child and nearing my 50s now). To have come so far only to have someone publicly put you back in a situation you thought far behind you. I've been there less publicly and it's jarring.
In Chris's case, I think he would have been equally impressive if he'd chosen to fight back. I don't like seeing someone so confidently smack someone else down and then turn their back on them so dismissively, so very sure they have nothing to fear.
Maybe if he'd known about the brick story, Will might have thought twice.
@@lexietalionis Yes, but then that's retaliation, NOT self-defense, and there's a big difference. So Chris did the right thing.
Chris should still press charges and sue him. Will won't be thinking about it much other than what penalty he will get. This will retraumatize Chris that he's been dealing with his whole life
Wow...you really saw that "scared to be angry" moment on the stage Sunday, when Chris was literally at a loss for words after Will walked away. Nobody did anything, not even a producer walked out. All that pressure on someone who was just assaulted, so seamless that the audience assumed it was a joke.
Well said. I was shocked. I thought it was fake because it seemed so surreal. Where was security?
@@hellokitty777able yeah. It looked staged mainly because nothing happened to Will after that. Everyone in charge that night (and Hollywood in general) is spineless as Jim Carrey put it.
The best they did was ask Will to leave, and he refused. That was just pathetic on the part of the academy.
That video during the commerical break showing Denzel, Tyler, Bradley and Aunjanue Ellis (everyone but Jada) comforting and supporting Will during his mental meltdown left out one key thing. There is a still picture of Chris Rock standing at the end of the stage in front of a seated Will. Denzel is standing between them on the first step (with his back to Will) like he's there to make sure nothing further happens between Will and Chris. Chris has one hand stretched out towards Will like he's trying to talk to Will to find out why Will went off.
So not only did Chris not want to press charges after the assaul, that picture shows Chris was trying to talk things out with Will right after everything went down. Obviously Will didn't respond or feel sorry because he never apologized to Chris during his Oscar speech and partied the night away.
At the time the publicist directed statement posted on Will's Instagram Will had still not personally contacted Chris.
Therapy can be powerfully liberating if you find the right therapist for you and if you are ready. I am so happy to have found one.
During 32 years Will kept his amazing image in all areas, we all admire him so much, and in one second he turn everything into trash, I threw away everything I had from him, videos, music, dolls, books, Chris acted with so much class, I am team Chris now, Will you are nothing now, Psychiatrist, you made so public the issues in you marriage and now this, DISGUSTING
I can relate to this so much. Afraid of my anger because of my dad in the past, and everyone just walks all over me, even my friends who I thought were friends would take advantage. Watching a friend's dogs 6 years in a row on Christmas just because I apparently had nothing else better to do. There, I let it out, ahhhhhh.
Love you Travis. Your a stand up guy!
Agree ^
Hey Travis can you buy me a pack of smokes and il pay you back on.....
@Max Powers Heard that! That is on point right there.
Lot's of us have been there Travis, I made it my mission in life to raise my kid different. The key is to change the pattern, be better than them.
This shit cuts deep.
Thanks for doing this. All of you are incredible for addressing this. Trauma/PTSD is a bear. I'm relieved to hear that you have some prior knowledge of what you are dealing with.
Dana and Chris - thank you for this really open honest authentic candid conversation about growing up under bullying, abusive fathers, bad neighborhoods. You both have worked thru a lot !!
So much respect for Chris xxx
We love you, Chris! You are the bigger man!
Very insightful and therapeutic podcast today. Great timing, Dana and David!
That was actually just a clip from a prior podcast (pre-Oscars).
What Chris Rock is saying...I totally get. Totally.
This seriously made me want to cry. I was bullied in elementary school too...it can really mess with you mentally even into adulthood. I couldn't imagine how tough it was to be humiliated in front of millions of people. It’s great that he's learned restraint, things could've gotten uglier on that stage. Highly intelligent man.
Ur awesome Chris. Sorry u experienced that. Sorry about the Oscars
My first therapist ghosted me after two sessions. My second one would occasionally fall asleep during our sessions, but I kept going for a while because at least he wasn't ghosting me. I finally gave up on it but should probably find a new one and give it another go.
I hope Chris comes out with a new special and uses this Will Smith atrocity for material, and makes BANK!
My therapist looks like a mix between Sarah Silverman and Meghan Markle so even even if she sucked, I'd still go to her. Haha! But she really is a kind person with a good heart and she is the third therapist I've had. By far the best.( And of course the hottest.)
@@nicholasmoose6574 wtf lmao
He had to relive and deal with his childhood trauma in front of the whole world. Serious respect for him and his response, even IF it was a fear of his own anger. There was nothing easy about that. Mad respect.
Love listening to you guys. Chris, I'm so sorry you were assaulted. You handled it so well, protecting what was remaining of the show, for us viewers and for those wonderful female hosts. I am so sorry Security did not protect you and show you the same consideration. You deserve everyone's respect. As a viewer, Will Smith ruined the show for me. I am a real Godfather fan and was looking forward to the upcoming tribute, and felt badly for Coppola, DeNero, and Pacino to have to take the stage after that disgraceful act of violence.
I don't know what security was for. Any other person (unlike Smith) would have been accompanied to the door.
Bullying never stops, that is a myth. This is a good conversation we should be having in society.
If I was Chris's friend, I will tell him to don't hold back during his comedy tour. The fact that Will have not personally call him to apologize said a lot. The dude slapped him and then proceed to make excuses and played victim with his tears on top of that went to the after party and act like nothing happened. Fuck that, go get him Chris!!!
It hurts me to know that these guys all had similar childhoods and to this day, still struggle with these thing and all of them, not just Chris, we’re sent spiraling back to their bad times through this whole incident. They are some of my favorite people on earth. They don’t deserve this. What happened at the Oscars was a tragedy. It shouldn’t be like this, but what happened has presented a new issue for comics to worry about.
“afraid of his own anger” . That nails it for people who seem passive after experiencing trauma & expl*ded at one point.
I listened to this and one other podcast back-to-back - they’re THAT good! Everyone should meander over to Dana & David’s podcasts and appreciate their interview style, observations, insight, and wit! A really enjoyable way to pass an hour! (And in the unlikely event either of you guys read this, thanks for these podcasts, and for the years of smiles you’ve brought!)
LOVE that these guys are talking about this! Real men here ❤
99% of the time turning the other cheek is the best option.
Chris Rock; I love you ❤ I always have. What Will did to you embarrassed & it hurt me. Don't worry about the opinions of others, God saw what Will did and he will Judge him for that. God bless your Show in Boston ❤❤❤
This makes me feel even sadder about Rocks treatment.
I adore Chris Rock. He is so brilliant and kind
You're the Real Man ❤💯💥👍
This breaks my heart.
Will Smith is the one who really needs professional help. Rock on, Chris.
This is such a helpful conversation. Thank you very much.
I love you Chris!!! You freaking rock!!
I have followed for 30+ years! I have been to several of your shows and always left with a smile 😊. You are so talented and also handsome! Next time you’re in the Houston area let me know!!
Thanks for the open conversation not easy being vulnerable, yet can help so many gain courage to come out behind the closed doors of abuse and neglect. I experienced family homicide recently, since have been on a journey to understand trauma. ‘The wisdom of trauma’ ‘The work’ are two films that have helped me tremendously. Also ‘The body keeps the score’-book-has been beyond helpful. Pray others can learn that it is ok to not be ok-and that we are never alone!!
I also got bullied alot during childhood and I defended myself by yelling and scaring people away. To this day, my anger has cost me friendships and jobs. I'm proud of Chris Rock for letting this go and trying to understand Will.
I understand why Will was upset, there's allot of stigma and shame placed on people's looks.
I'm not going to prejudge either of them because I'm not perfect. This was the only time I've ever seen Will self lose control, so I'll excuse what seems like a one off behavior because we all deserve second chances.
Holy Shit, that was a crazy story Chris.
From Australia 🇦🇺 Chris Rock you are amazing 👏 ❤️ I hope Will gets the help he needs, sincerely. These two men will get together in time and talk.
Sending love and hugs Chris. ❤️
I love the three of you!
You know Chris must of had an amazing therapist by seeing how Chris applied his self-control skills. It could of gone so many different ways if it wasn't for Chris being so chill...
This is awesome therapeutic advice! You have to deal with your f’d up childhood traumatic memories to have a healthy adult relationships and to accept and love yourself. 💜🌸
Wish he had a brick and a bag at the Oscars.
Rock is wise beyond his years and holds himself accountable for his own healing 👍🏻👍🏻❤️❤️👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
That was deep, interesting and thought provoking stuff. I'm glad I clicked on this!
I have a strong feeling that Will Smith doesn't go to therapy but should.
Wow, enlightening. Explains Chris’s reserved reaction.
Great interview, thank you. I can relate with what Chris is saying.
i stand with chris rock!
Everybody admires Chris ❤️🙏
Love Chris Rock!!!
You are a boss!!!
CANT WAIT TO SEE GI JANE-2 JADA!!!!
Love u guys need video we are missing way too much lol
I feel so bad for you guys. You deserved better. I was bullied because I had a deformed arm as a child. But nobody bullied me at home. I raised my children with safety and peace. Nobody was gonna bully them and I am a sandbagger. I go to the fight to win. It’s sad that kids can’t just grow up proud and safe. Truth be told, we wouldn’t have any of you if someone hadn’t made mistakes. You know things that others don’t.
It's very true, Hard times breed hard people. If you're not happy with your social position when you're younger, you're going to do something about through the years.
My heart goes out to Chris
What he said about protecting his brothers?
Well, they, especially Tony, are returning the favor now, and the thought just makes me glad. He's had their backs, and now they're showing that they've got his, too.
I respect all of you so much more knowing this. Explains a lot. Why you come across so much smarter. Because you are so much smarter.
All the best to you both
Chris Rock seems like he's a wise man. WS needs to gain this kind of mental health.
This is so interesting.
More power to you Chris. You are a true child of God almighty. You had the strength, courage, wisdom, patience, endurance to overcome and move forward after the incident. A true warrior.
Props to Chris Rock- stand up guy!
Louis Rossman (the Right to Repair guy on youtube) had a similar experience. He had a bully so he spent years working out and getting bulked up and then threw the bully down a flight of stairs and was horrified at what he did.
Very interesting.
When was this recorded?
It's a blessing in disguise what Will did.
I hope he understands he shouldn't feel embarrassed AT ALL.
Everyone (with a brain) is team Rock right now,
and all Will did was give a comedian ammunition..
Not to mention fuel people into ironically making jokes about him and his wife. 😂
My son has a nonverbal LD. It's very difficult because you sound like you know exactly what's going on.
After hearing this, I wonder what is going through his mind now? He definitely didn’t show any anger after the slap. But the humiliation will probably stick with him for a while. At least he kept his composure and handled the situation the best possible way. He gets a lot of respect for that!
Chris has become a complete person! The way he handled it was pure empathy, compassion and respect for a clearly sick individual. Chris Rocks! 💯👊✝️
Wow!
DAMNNNN. I get it. This is tough
Wow kudos to chris
I hope somebody shows this to Jada and Will Smith.
I must say, as a witness to the bullying via Will Smith, it was clear who had been to therapy, and DONE THE WORK. The joke was meh… but the Smiths lost their minds. Chris was incredible in the way he dealt in the moments. I am verified in my fandom of Chris. We grew up during the same unrest. I was bullied daily from 7th -10th grade. It was terror. I am tiny, 5’ tall and 95 lbs as an adult female. It may have been worse if I was a POC, but the rage I faced was because I was white. I don’t think being a guy would have helped in that situation, as the hate and rage was looking for an easy target. I forgive them all, as I know we were ALL dealing with the racial unrest and rage we didn’t even understand. I have been in therapy 10 yrs, and still going. Peace be with you Chris❣️
You are so right i was a anger. I would flip a biscuit. Now with therapy and agzinty meds help
Chris is gonna do what he can to help repair Will's damaged image. You'll see. He's an extraordinary human being. Both of them are gonna be just fine. Brighter times are ahead!
Will, thru his own decisions and life choices, has lost the respect of
many. To regain that sense of himself, he has taken part of another
man's dignity. This act makes him less in my eyes...not greater. This
was a shameful act and an embarrassment. Will could have simply stood
up, looked sternly, pointed at Chris and said STOP IT...NOW!.... That
would have been enough, and it would have been respected and powerful.
But NO...now we have this sorry Justification/Apology. WILL, Do you want
to end this so that even your most hardened critics will have to
respect and forgive you? This is what you do - Set a date and time for a
press conference - Invite Chris - Give him a real apology (no
justification) - Put you hands behind you back as his were - And stand
there as he slaps you with everything he's got - Shake his hand - Hug it
out. (If Chris declines the slap that's fine, as long as he is present)
After that, anyone who doesn't squash it will be deemed completely
unreasonable. You don't deserve this fix, but it's as much for Chris as
for you. I hope you make the right decision, I'd love to be able to
watch the work of you both without being reminded of this negativity.