Father Knows: Parenting Problems -- Father Knows Something Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 12 дек 2021
- Welcome back to Father Knows Something!
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This episode features write-ins about problems people are having with their parents or parenting themselves.
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Okay Morgans dad has such a healthy mature outlook about his adult children. How he described feeling happy with whatever role he plays in Morgan’s wedding got me watery eyed.🥺 that’s some healthy selfless respectful outlook to have for your adult children
Hello! 90s kid with a Navy dad here. If my dad could make it work with tons of those long distance AT&T cards and being on a ship for weeks at a time, their husband has no excuse. My dad was on deployment for most of my childhood but I never felt that he was an absent father. Being a proper dad is a choice they continuously have to make.
!!!!!!!!!!! my dad was in the marines even before i was born and he always found a way to have a great relationship with all of us even being across the world. that being said if he is suffering from ptsd he needs to get professional help.
I love jerry he’s our dad now 😭🤍
xoxo, Dad
He almost had me crying too Morgan! God Jerry is so sweet!! 😭😭❤️
Re: Stepdad walking down the aisle - I guess I dont understand why the closeness of their relationship matters if the chief reason she isnt being walked down the aisle is because she doesn't believe in the tradition? (That's my style too, to be clear) It seems unnecessary to bring it up and potentially hurt his feelings when you could easily keep it very devoid.
"I don't personally believe in that tradition so we actually won't be including it but thank you for being there for me if I needed it" is A LOT different than "I don't personally believe in that tradition so we won't be doing it, also, we're not that close so you wouldn't have been asked to do it anyways." There's really no way to bring up their lack of closeness without making it imply that he wouldn't walk her regardless, which is just plain unkind at that point.
It makes me feel a little like maybe she does have some negative feelings towards his assumption of walking her down the aisle, and she wants to make it clear that she doesn't think of him that way.
Yeah it seemed very like “you are NOT my father so don’t think you get to play that part”
I don’t know why the mic check was so funny to me, I watched it like 4 times😂😂 Morgan’s facial expression just killed it!😂
Haha I just listened to this while doing Xmas cooking. You asked my question! That’s so much ! Baby girl is due in the next 2-4 weeks. Thank you for the suggestions and ideas.
Thanks so much *
I hope you picked a beautiful name that means alot to you!
@@amberthedragon thanks we called her Sigourney 🥰 we picked it as I had a lot of anxiety around childbirth and use to joke with my husband that child birth in my mind was the chest burster scene in alien. My husband suggested the name, and morning of her birth alien was playing on tv.
It might be cool to do a fan call in episode! Like whoever wants to write can writes in and after reading the situation y’all can call them and talk about it? Not sure how hard that would be but it might be a cool idea! Love the podcast
We’ve actually done a call in / twitch stream show and plan to do more soon! We will keep you posted 😊
For the 24-year old (TS 9:45 ish), I feel it should be pointed out that she admits to not going to her parents or communicating what happened, yet seems upset that they didn't support her or take her side. It's hard to take someone's side when you don't have any of the details, and parents aren't mind-readers. She didn't give mom/sister any of the details on the reasons that relationship failed, and is upset that they pushed for info - yet it seems that from the info shared, from their perspective she dated a guy as a teenager, it wasn't serious, and there were no stated red-flags for why the relationship ended, so to them it doesn't seem that out of place for sister to date the ex who she seemed not to have feelings for anymore (girl-code notwithstanding). Mom was probably somewhat concerned that if there was something "bad" about the guy, sister should know before it got too serious so patterns wouldn't repeat. As OP wouldn't divulge any info, they then had to assume there wasn't anything traumatic, and her reaction thus seemed out of proportion to the situation.
The second example given, she states "I don't think my other siblings even knew what she did. Meanwhile, my parents are nowhere to be found, and I just felt so alone and ostracized. I didn't ever go to them though..." This would suggest that the parents were never made aware of OP's feelings, that she had any knowledge of the situation (they didn't know she was the one that got the other person to tell them what was happening), or that the siblings were ganging up on her." Again, being angry at parents for not stepping into a situation that they haven't been made aware of in the first place, seems like misplaced hurt and anger.
How could they support her in those situations when she says she didn't tell them about the situations in the first place? I'm not saying that the siblings' behaviour is okay, it's absolutely not. But if the parents didn't know about it, then blaming them for not seeing the situation from OP's perspective and being there for her, seems a little unfair. If OP had ever gone to her parents and told them the situation and how she was feeling, maybe they would have been supportive, but from what is shared here, she didn't give them that opportunity, and is now years later still upset with them for a situation that they had no knowledge of.
Low or no contact with the sister could be warranted. There is still a chance for a relationship with the parents though. An honest conversation about what she was going through and how she felt at the time may help rebuild that trust, but she has to be aware that if her parents had no knowledge of how she was feeling or being treated by her siblings at the time, being upset with them for not supporting her is unfair. Communication is key. Therapy would be a good start.
Here is what you do when younger you was mistreated, or there are unresolved feelings. You take that younger you out and you sit and talk with them with the you you are now. You let them vent. You let them go ape, and you support them through those feeling. They are valid. And when younger you is done blasting it all, you hug them. And you tell them, "we will get through this together." Good, bad, or ugly... we are going to be okay together.
Time stamps:
Story 1- 1:32
Story 2- 9:43
Story 3- 21:59
Story 4- 34:12
Story 5- 38:11
Story 6- 46:00
:)
I love your dad morgan he's the best 👌
Nina, thank you .......Dad
I love the dynamic of your relationship with Morgan. For me personally, I had a *very* strained relationship with my step-father and when I got married I asked my mother to walk me down the isle. I walked 75% of the way alone and she greeted me at the bottom of the stairs for us to walk together. She has always been by my side, I do not regret my choice.
The story of the girl with the baby reliving the trauma. I can totally get the feelings she is having. My father was very abusive and alcoholic. He made 17 years of my life horrible and the last 6 of those absolute hell.Years of therapy helped, my parents divorced and I have cut all contact with him. He used to tell me to kill myself , that I should be dead and that I will mever be anything more than a prostitute. When my daughter was born, looking at this perfect little angel, I began to struggle with the feelings again. What was so wrong with me that he never felt that way and why did my mom never fight for me, why she stayed 17 years in this. Therapy is the way to go, confronting may go different direction than planned, I would also suggest maybe writing a letter to the parents
I’m so sorry, I hope you and your baby are doing great!
I'm glad you made it through to the other side. Here's to breaking the cycle! It's probably one of the greatest things a being can do.
I feel for that woman with the military husband in the last story. Making the choice to divorce is so difficult, even if you know it’s the right move. If she’s financially dependent on him especially, which she said he makes good money even though he doesn’t manage it well, it’s still enough to cover the needs of the family which would suddenly shift to being her responsibility more so if he is resistant and angry when she leaves. She may not even have a career to go back to. That’s a huge piece to it.. leaving the comfort of being provided for and now having to rough it with your children, until hopefully, eventually leveling out with income and a new schedule. It’s also letting go of the dream of having a traditional family. She probably still holds onto hope that he’ll become that husband and father that they need. That’s so hard. I hope she finds her way to peace for herself and the kids, even if it’s so hard to start that process. Sometimes it feels impossible to accept that some things and some people just can not be changed.
Just a side note, lots of military men don’t go to therapy or reveal severe mental issues bc there can be negative like being released if it’s that severe. Like my brother (a marine) said that ppl have been denied if they have a history of mental illnesses. But they do encourage couples counseling for military ppl.
I love Jerry and I wish you wouldve said you had a channel sooner also i love your socks
well, better late than never.. thank you for your encouragement. Jerry
Those chairs look very comfy
Female service member here, for that last one the wife should see if the husband is willing to do couples therapy, the military provides it maybe from religious aspects like the churches we have or an actual therapist. If he’s not open to it they can have a (hopefully) amicable split. It’s hard to long for someone but even harder to finally have them and their still gone. It’s my job so I understand the way our jobs go and how it can be hard to leave work at work but she also deserves to be happy.
When it comes to older people having new relationships and being stranged from the family, something I always worry about - specially when there is some sort of disability- is financial exploration. I’d keep an eye out for that
Yesss! The most important thing in our life(es) is our children. And their health…. PERIOD! It amazes me that we don’t talk about this more. I LOVE you Jerry and Morgan! Such honest, raw and REAL conversations you both create and I hope to eventually create a better relationship with my dad- aka a more mature relationship with him. I also have a stepdad whom in all honesty has helped raise me, provided for me, and has emotionally and physically been there for me. I am in love and will eventually probably marry the man of my dreams/ baby daddy but I am worried my dad would be upset that my stepfather is someone I want to walk me down the aisle next to me ( both amazing men on either side of me). It’s not about giving me away- but they both contributed so much to the woman I am and putting trust in my man to take the reigns. Haha- I am A LOT. If it helps… I’m a Gemini. Any advice? I’ll try to do a write in as well :)
I love you guys! I just discovered this channel!
I’ve been listening from beginning to end on Spotify and made sure to subscribe on YT. Thank you for your amazing podcast. My three babies and I dance to your intro/outro every day 💞
I had 2 names picked out for my daughter and didn’t pick until I saw her
Wow weird when you said your parents decided on Morgan for your name but Danielle was an option. Such a coincidence bc I have the same name, but it was almost Danielle too! Danielle ended up as my middle name. The idea was to honor my dads name, Daniel. Anyyyway lol Love you guys and I think you really inspire more open and honest communication between people who care about each other.
Ugh we love you Dad! 🖤✨
I like hearing about others planning to walk down the aisle by themselves. My dad died when I was 14, and there is no one else I would want to take that place. I’m afraid my mom might be angry but I’m pretty positive I want to walk down alone
Omg I just love your dad!
Girl names:
Scout, Kaia, Elliot, Delilah, Zoe, Moa Roa, Rain, Millie, Noelle, Phoenix, Phoebe
Boy names:
Wolf, Phineas, Orlin, Malik, can't remember more and some don't work in english. My daughter name ist Philine (pronounced Phileen) stems from the greek word for love and my sons name is Lennon (after John Lennon, because of his activism for world peace)
My son’s middle name is Lennon, same namesake ☺️ I love all of your girl names listed 💘
My FIL was very disappointed I didn't ask him to walk me down the aisle. But there was a big representation of how yes they helped me for several years but I made me the person I was. I wasn't raised by anyone but myself
Also took out 'obey' in my vows.
Not property or anything. Marrying out of pure love but I'm still my own person
Okay so mine happened just by chance, but I kind of like the symbolism you could apply to it. I had two arches (both were gifted to use and one was much smaller but I'm difficult so of course I wanted to use both XD), the first I passed through with my father, then we separated, and I walked up the aisle by myself. So I feel now that it's actually a really good compromise if you also don't really like the symbolism of being "given away" as I also didn't. So it could be seen as "this person was important in my life and helped raise me, then I became an adult, and now I'm freely deciding to enter into this commitment with this other person."
That last story: Sounds like he might be suffering from PTSD. He’s active military and that may have caused some trauma. He needs personal therapy and then they also need marriage counseling.
Agree. My dad has been military my whole life and still is; I’m in my twenties now. My mom and dad ended up divorcing because of how toxic their relationship got with him being gone all the time. My mom still resents my dad for this but I can see how much he sacrificed for us. My mom and dad were teen parents and my dad needed to make money to support us so that’s what he did. Even though he wasn’t around, we still had a nice house and grew up comfortably. Of course I would have loved to have my dad around but I know it wasn’t as simple as it’s made to seem. Also, tricare doesn’t cover mental health services so it’s difficult to get therapy unless you’re paying out of pocket
Jerry is gonna make me cry too 😢
Morgan, I didn’t know you had a narcissistic bio dad too! Sisters 👯♀️
Jerry is how I wish my dad had acted with me.
I was about to go to sleep… 30 more mins
You’re statement on how you would feel if Morgan doesn’t ask you to walk her down the aisle was just what I needed to hear! I asked my bio dad to walk me down the aisle and my step dad - my dad who raised me- got to be in the front row for me. But when I lost him 6 months ago unexpectedly, I have had so much guilt about not asking him to walk me down the aisle!!! Thank you for helping me realize that he probably just wanted to be a part of my day :) ❤️❤️
So what are Misty's meant for then? Cause according to Morgan clearly we're not meant to be CEO's...?
Whatever your heart desires
@@FatherKnowsSomething thank you for your reply. I agree that names do have some significance in our lives and, of course there's always some people who do not feel their names suit them. I feel my name suits my personality perfectly and I cannot imagine my name being anything other than Misty. 😊
Misty’s are meant to be Pokémon trainers 😁
as a danielle can agree ur not a danielle ur definitely a morgan
Finally! I found Morgan's dad 🤍