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I’ve said this from day one! Men and women are not better or worse than each other, just different than each other and have different strengths and weaknesses. Some people can play the piano 🎹 and some people can play the guitar 🎸. It’s just the way it is. Cheers!
Word. And the idiocracy of contemporary society really is that "human nature" has come to be regarded as almost some sort of swear word and most certainly is concidered a faux-pas! 🤦🏻♂️🙄
@@tomprice3258 lol, I can play both but the guitar better but I also definetely can play the piano better than playing pretend of being a woman with all its unique and nuanced qualities and features! 😉
I grew up in a problematic family. My father completely refused to do basically anything for our family so we were relying on my mom all the time. I grew up as "strong independent, go and get it" woman. I was always wondering why awesome men were not coming to me, only leach or taming type of guys. Then I met my husband 7 years ago, who just told me this simple thing: "my love, we are a team, we are in everything together. You don't have to do things on your own anymore". That woke me up, and suddenly I felt relieved that I have a man on my side who will do his job, and I will not have to struggle anymore. I realized it at that moment, how I really struggled till that point, and I considered it "empowerment" meanwhile it was just simply heavy labour unnecessarry struggle. My man is a true treasure. Ladies, listen to Teal, your life will be much more of a high quality!
You're fortunate, my man told me that and he got comfortable and started to sit on Facebook at every chance he got and nothing seemed to be able to get him off. Needless to say I left.
@@ZFern9390 yes, and guys like that are complaining to everybody that all women are...... all they care about is rich or cool guys. And he can't find a decent one. They want a slave, not a woman. You did right that you left! Tipical 'you have to make food, wash, clean etc meanwhile I am doing entirely nothing, nothing what a man suppose to do. BUT if you miss to clean once the house, or you are deciding not to cook, i am going to shame you immediatelly" 😂
@@Bvilloyou can't claim to be “independent, go and get it” type while also expecting men to approach you instead of asking them out yourself The hypocrisy of women...
@@-SimonRiley Hey there, don't be so judgemental, like this I could also say "ohhh the ultimate laziness of men, they would expect us to do everything even in bed, meanwhile they just stay still and enjoy themselves".. Back to your question: Tried that one too, didn't work SUPRISE SUPRISE 😄 thats why I said it is dumb to be "strong and independent etc woman" I know it from experience, you are a living, walking repellent for real men 😄
The bit about feminism I've spoken with my husband about many times. I call it an overcorrection. The modern feminist movement has overcorrected to a point of inequality, inequity, and it no longer serves women at all. It's been really wild to see it play out.
Thank you for being honest about this! My now ex and I broke up over this issue. Many young women do not see that the modern left has become very radical and „overcorrected“ as you say. It’s gotten from a good cause to support to a tyrannical movement. I’m grateful for every person who starts to see and realise this. Men are not your enemy, we want you to strive just as much! Anyone who doesn’t, is a fool
As a man, I love serving women. Teal is correct in that men need to have a purpose, and to me, our main purpose in life is to provide for and protect our families. That's why we take risks and go for the big bucks. We want to serve you, ladies. We want you to be our queens, and we want to be good role models for our kids. This is what it means to be a man.
Being passive aggressive was my biggest issue. But my boyfriend was direct and helped me communicate with him better. Its been ten years we are together now.
@@huirant287 Guys like that are never online, their in constant drive for self improvement it may be big or small, but it is for sake of becoming better, my advice for you is to go out more, go to book store's, places that demonstrate intelligence, respect and righteousness and act feminine.
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
Three years later, this is all still true. This video hits something so utterly deep and true about humanity. I'm so glad I found myself on this side of RUclips.
Notes: - To make him feel wanted and needed, give him a role in your life. Open the space to let him do things for you. - Give positive feedback for his IMPORTANCE in your life. The role that he performs, etc. - Don't drop hints/cues - just assert needs.
I told him what I need and he said “is this an obligation?” “Are you trying to change me?” I was like no, I thought you want to know what makes me happy. Anyways, that relationship ended quickly.
My husband had to teach me to just say what I didn't like him doing at the time instead of letting it accrue like a debt in my head that would come spewing out during arguments. Once I learned this life got much better for both of us.
Thanks for sharing. I am learning this now in my current relationship. Its hard because i'm not good at expressing/tapping into what i want but i like that he wants to know at the same time :-)
@@jakubrogacz6829 I was raised in a family where people responded violently if I said how I felt so it wasn't natural for me to just say how I felt. After my husband assured me he wouldn't get angry if I was honest with him I started trying to speak up like 'oh I wish you'd wipe the benches after you clean the dishes'. Based on my experiences from my family that would have resulted in people yelling "Do them yourself then!" and throwing dishes at me. So I was actually surprised when he'd just say ok and wipe the benches. I'm grateful for him making me feel safe to use my voice. Its helped me feel brave in other areas of my life too.
Responsibility gives us meaning. To care for you, to fix everything that breaks, to open the door for you, to open my heart to you means I love you. It also means you completely have the keys to my castle, you can and have completely destroyed me. I have rebuilt myself over and over. In spite of this I still love you.
Former "independent" lesbian here to say this is everything I needed to hear!!! I grew up with a passive father and overbearing controlling mother, never learning how to be in a healthy relationship. THIS helped so much!!!!!
@@ruckboger she is relaying to us, her struggle with how she took the roles in her parents dynamic and that it created a mixed message for her on what to emulate..it may change for everyone but there wasn't a reason to try and set her up for a verbal attack. You are looking for a fight not really wanting to know about her journey.
@@thegoldengypsy929 What? I'm not looking for a fight. I'm trying to understand if she's saying she is now a lesbian because of her mother or her father.
As a man I have no idea what women want !!! Just tell us !! We will do everything we can to help and support you !! As we love you !! Help us to help you !!
I am currently being abused in this way. I'm told .. just tell me what you want So I do .. then it's ignored. On purpose. Actually helping me was Never on his mind. Start asking better questions instead of placing the blame on the woman in your life please. The effort proves you are truly committed to your partner.
This video is so important for women to understand. The feminist movement is ruining masculinity which is leading to women not being attracted to their man. This is the root problem. Men need to be able to be men in order for a woman to feel like a woman. This isn't misogynistic this is our nature.
I used to be a lot more in my masculine, "I don't need a man energy", in my early 20's. Now in my early 30's, and more confident I'm my body and my femininity, I noticed a huge change im my relationships. Now men, (total strangers), open the door for me and I let them. My now boyfriend loves to physically lift me up, give me gifts and compliments all the time, and im now learning to receive. In a weird way in the past, it was almost as if my self worth was so low, that I didn't think I was worthy of love. It's out love that a man does these things so I allow him. Just like I ask my boyfriend if he's eaten, or give him a back rub for carrying me sometimes 😅. It should be a beautiful give and take, I understand this now.
Yes. Recieve graciously, ladies. Those stupid flowers scattered throughout the house as a trail to the invitation to spend the weekend at a German Inn is as cliché and unimaginative as tooth ache, so you may be thinking. But don't say it out loud. We got much enjoyment out of planning it out and going to the florist. We may be awkward and clumsy at romance, but recieve well and give us our enjoyment as well. Don't deny us our love for doing stupid stuff for you.
Good thing as long as it’s a genuine and a pure interaction problem is these men these days want to be spoiled and do things expecting something in return right away it’s not genuine low effort
Independence is a myth! Owning a car, for example, gives people a sense of independence but depends on the entire history of the evolution of technology and economics in order for it to be a possibility. A 'self made' independent business owner is entirely dependent on their customers and the stability of the society around them. Nobody is independent unless they built their own house with materials they gathered themselves using tools they made and designed themselves while eating food they produced themselves using recipes of their own making... etc etc etc. Humans cannot exist independently... at least not for more than a few hours and even then... someone brought them into the world! People who passionately claim independence are either blind to or ignorant of how much other people have contributed to their lives.
@@AtlanticSiren There's nothing wrong with being strong and capable, or even aloof and dismissive of others... not if it is genuine and appropriate to the individual relationships that we experience. It's just that these things shouldn't be seen as aspirational achievements and especially not the standard to which we all must conform... People are so much more than that. We think of the constraints that society puts upon us as being self-inflicted... because we identify as 'society', 'humanity' or 'culture'! This leads us to believe that we can 'fix' these things as individuals... but if we try we are likely to discover that we can't! At least not immediately. The conditioning that we have all experienced is incredibly effective, largely because of our sociable nature... Compliance with what is familiar to us comes easy while change can be a struggle... but I think that once a person understands the myth and how absurd it is for people to perpetuate it, they can begin to shift their inner focus, away from projecting an image of themselves for the benefit of other people, more towards awareness of their actual experience of other people. It encompasses 'letting people in' and learning to be vulnerable as well as experiencing compassion. The paradox of trying to be more connected to our humanity within this culture is that we will often end up looking more independent as we step out of the mold and become more complex individuals!!!! I hope that makes some kind of sense... I just read it back and I'm confusing myself! I'll leave you with this: “Nature is busy creating absolutely unique individuals, whereas culture has invented a single mold to which all must conform. It is grotesque” ~ U G Krishnamurti
I'm sorry but as a woman, I cringe so much when I hear, ''I'm an independant woman'' or ''I can do anything that men can do''. For me it just shows the degree of your insecurities. If you feel the need to claim that, than it means deep down you don't feel like that. Imagine that : ''I'm an independant man!'' ''I can do everything that women can do!'' This is cringe right? Edit: Of course you can! You can do whatever the heck you want with your life. But men need women the same way women need men, for emotional support, I'm not talking about money! Edit: I'm not saying women shouldn't or can't be independant (financially or whatever), I'm saying why the heck do you feel the need to tell everyone, as if your ego depends on it. Yes, women need to be financially independant. There are no reasons why women should have less money because of biology.
as a woman i support this. I love masculine energy. Im just as much traumatized as the man. Ive gotten my bounduries pulled out from under me and then felt forced to do life by myself. I really hope we can fix this. I want masculine energy to match my feminine energy. go all of us. Lets not give up!
THIS IS PURE GOLD!! 🥳💙💐 I am not equal to a man, and I love our complementary differences ❤ I am a new-age woman with traditional values. I CAN do just about anything I put my mind to, but I don't want to bc I love feeling at home in my confidence of being a soft feminine woman when it comes to things like taking out the trash, working on the car, or mowing the lawn - when my man takes care of things that need to be done, I feel valued by him, and so I enjoy returning that with a good meal, clean clothes, and a home that looks n smells amazing. Yes, sometimes he helps in the house, and I sometimes help in the yard. It feels great to do things together, knowing we have each other's backs. When I am weak, he is strong, and vice-versa. We complement each other well when God is the centered balance ❤
I lol'd at this generalization. Think of all the males from around the world, some in huts, some in houses, some in flats, some on houseboats, some in motels lol. Most are narcissists? Wow.
M Styles that’s your experience. i’ve met women who are completely at fault of this. refusing to take responsibility is an emotional response, not logical.
@@mstyles2667 wow... The ignorance spewing from this comment. I'm baffled. No most men are NOT narcissists and you don't speak for all women and the reason their relationships fail. Don't project your experiences on that many people. Are you serious.
The whole 'I don't need a man/ I'm independent' comment really hit home for me, especially in the types of men this attitude attracts. It would be helpful to have a video recommendation to watch, to help step out of this mindset for women like myself who have been forced to 'do it all' due to a lack of positive male role models her whole life. I've never had any sort of relationship with a male who hasn't been toxic, controlling, abusive or weak and it has resulted in having an 'I don't need a male' attitude. No idea how to step out of it now.
This video has since come out ruclips.net/video/BwUrfi1Lh_M/видео.html Btw, I used to be where you are.. I started dating a guy I normally wouldn't go for, a guy from a more conservative culture, and he changed my life for the better. I was probably a bit of a detriment to him at first, but I came around and I'm incredibly grateful now.
“I want to be connected to you. I need to be connected just as much as you do. In order to feel that way I need to fill a role in your life. A role that holds purpose so that I can clearly tell that you need me and thus want me here in your life.” 😭 my single ass got emotional at that part
She's equating needs and wants thereby turning men into desirable mules. The day women want men simply for who they are will be the day real advancement comes. The exchanging of the needs of the woman for the wants of the man is basically whoredom with a white picket fence around it. Anymore, intimacy is the only thing the two sexes need from each other but eons of the wants/needs exchange program have left us nearly incapable of adapting to this new paradigm. Sorry, you did not deserve to have all that dumped on you, it's just the way I see it (which is probably way off. Oh well.) Cheers
@@jjcool4184 i know on the surface this is cruel. Men started thinking this way when most women over 30 standards seem to sky rocket while their looks decline. They are way more damaged from the bad boys they dated in their youth. So they are now so bitter. Men knowing what they now know dont want to deal with that when they are getting finacially set. Truth is younger women are a bit more easy going without the baggage. While many men say they do this because they just want young fertile women. I do not see it that way I see plenty of women actractive over 30. I would think they would match better maturity wise. Yet, too many times I see they are damaged beyond repair and have so many standards while I am expected to have none.
@@thesmartestmanintheworld2653stay in your lane woman! Sorry I’ve gotta go back to my job as a heavy line electrician, where I’ve never met a woman in my field! We need the cookie bakers and bed sheet folders! Be proud of the calling God granted you…hopefully…. Don’t burn em! 🍪 😜
I enjoyed learning about this. As a woman and single Mother we have played the masculine role more than often and I truly believe that learning about a man in his true masculine is important as he learns how a woman is in her true femininity. Always become vulnerable n authentic with what you want n need with your partner. Thank you for this message!🙏🏽
Wow 🤩 This is what information is missing hugely right now. I hope anyone who hears it will share it, because human connection is becoming endangered. It’s mostly from jumping to incorrect conclusions or passing judgment without understanding. I’m back in school for my BA in psychology, and you are officially my main person who I admire and respect and want to help like you are.❤ Thank you for being here!!!
Like any ideology, conservatism is misinformation. Gender roles have always benefited women and came at the expense of men's energy and health. There is no point in providing for a woman when she not only can work, but has affirmative action and makes up 60% of college graduates.
"Fine" I think this is just doubling down on feminism. Every other woman on dating apps says: "I'm fine. My life is happy. I just want some one who adds to my happiness." These are the women you see on the app for 5 years. These are the exact women who are creating passive behavior in men. I'd love to pull her man aside and ask was he fine without a woman in his life. He'd probably say: "I was fine with a headache." Her man is going to be in serious trouble down the line... She will love him and leave him when she is 75. I don't need him for "anything" anymore. He'll be 80 with dementia living in a dusty room all alone. Trust!
@@TrillEverything Geesh, it sounds like you’ve got some baggage to work through. The author was saying that each was a healthy, complete person in their own right, so when they came together, they clicked in a healthy way. Oh, BTW, complaining about feminism is a red flag in a man. A green flag is a man who says that he likes and supports women.
@@BrooklynBaby100 Modern day feminism. The MGTOW movement is there to protect men that's why. Too many cases of false accusations of rape, domestic violence, etc.
Night King > This is a different century from the 50s woman are more Independent and beautiful men see more of a variety of women, but It's their lost if they lose a good woman!
As women, we need men and this awesome video reminds us how to communicate this clearly to men. We have all been mislead with ideals of being independent. It’s time to remember we are interdependent and the world is a beautiful place when man and woman work together in harmony to create balance.
@@maryamdiao1509 That’s because we have been conditioned to see the other as a threat. The work to reverse that has to begin somewhere, by believing it’s possible and it’s necessary.
@@thusharividanagamachchi9779 Men do see women as a threat now thanks to the 60-70% divorce rate and 80% of divorces being filed by women. The "metoo" movement. Now Millions of men are now homeless, childless, in poverty, suicidal risks, thanks to no fault divorce. I have watched videos of women who are now getting a taste of this equality and having to pay alimony, child support etc. and they suddenly want the laws changed. Go figure.
Told the guy I dated for years I need attention, and he still did not give it. Ima straightforward girl, yet he couldn't handle it. And was opposite, not forward, the manipulator and liar. Some men are just self-centered and selfish, and that is why im no longer with him. This message only applies to men who actually available and committed to being with you. Do not ever think you will change a man. You will only be hurt the long run. Just end it, and move on. don't waste time.
true, I am a selfish men and my ex always wanted attention from me, I hated it, I just want to see a women 2-3 times a month only for sex, thats my nature. I tried to give her more attention, but I wasn‘t me anymore snd didn‘t enjoy it. I look for a girl who doesn‘t want mich attention and is very self focused as well
100% right. Keep spreading this message for the sake of love, marriage, and to help men fulfill their potential and restore the motivation we're born with. We need peace in the home, respect, and to feel valued
It's why I am not interested in dating anymore. Manipulation, passive aggressive signals, demands like a 5year old, having a mood for hours. I don't care for your drama, tell me exactly what and why or find the door. Playing mind games with someone you love is disrespectful. Openness and honesty is what builds connection, trust and respect.
Tell me about it, just had to run from a guy like this 🤭 At some point in life one should know a little (to be kind) of what one wants. And be able to communicate at least that clearly 🤣
Being straight forward in this relationship I'm in, and communicating through everything has been so life changing. I've never had such a healthy and close bond with a man, and he appreciates how clear I am in what I need ♡
this video and many others by Teal revives my hope for being a man in a relationship and being able to take care of women. Although is a long process, I am gradually getting into the grips of re-learning to take care of women while I am searching for one. The huge number of females that write positively in this video is so heart-warming.
It's great that you try to change and improve your life into sth. good. A lot of people are ignorant and esp. a lot of men or "male/career-women" . It's a miracle to see or talk with someone, esp. with a man who doesn't try to escape from his inner problems by blaming others (staying psychologically in a child role) but who takes responsibility for his life and solves his problems.
Amazing, thank you for the clarity I needed. It's the incompatibility I've been ignoring that ultimately becomes the final straw. I hear you and will rewatch this again.
This is why I believe a third way - humanism - is needed. People have needs that need to be filled. We need roles, but we also need flexibility - life doesn't stay the same, but if all options are valid, none are. We need to be able to be who we are and love who we will. We need safety amd security. We need a common language. We can't achieve this with gender-supremacist ideologies like redpill or fourth-wave feminism.
I am always upfront and honest about what I need and still my needs aren't met. I guess that means that either we are incompatible or he doesn't care about me. Lesson learned. Thank you Teal. Xx
My wife has told me that she has told me what she needs/wants. But the problem is that it always happens at a time or when I am in a state where I can't remember. I don't want to forget. But I do, adding in ptsd and adhd just makes it that much more difficult. Men also see the wild mixed signals that are sent. I have initiated intimacy when she asked for it and how she asked for it and had her respond as though I was trying to rape her. It didn't make sense to either of us. Women tend to be this flowing wave of beautiful energy, but when you have to surf that wave you can't trust that it will also be this exact wave in this spot. My wife always draws two pretty dismal conclusions which is some sort of version of I don't care. I can't speak for your partner, but I have a hard time keeping up with the ever changing nature of the feminine. I have learned to sit in the chaos of her being instead of running away. But that is effing hard to do. It is your nature to push him away to have him show up powerfully. It is his nature to show up powerful... except that especially for gen x men, we have all been beaten and abused for the crimes of our fathers and grandfathers. We carry their sins with us cause we saw how bad they were. And we actually chose to rebel and stop that behavior. But instead of being celebrated. We are beaten down and yeah, we become passive. If it is important to you that your needs are met, then telling him once or twice is really setting him up for failure. Write it down. Because you might think you are communicating clearly but he is picking up on the ten emotional states you are also communicating and now he has to figure out what is true now, later today and mostly always. It is worthwhile but don't imagine it's easy for men to be with feminine energy. And probably vice versa. And most of us don't have good role models.
Well, something to consider is self understanding. Another alternative to incompatibility and not caring is demoralization.. For example, if I am responsive literally to the requests.. and am told that it doesn't count because I should have known.. the messages I actually get is, you don't know what you want, I can't trust you.. and trying is worse than doing nothing... instead of feeling good, I feel useless and unappreciated
Manna to my ears. I am a defender of the male, have always been. I love men! I love their conversation, presence, differences from us and from each other. I love Teal's bright mind and all she says here. We women need to reclaim our lost wisdom. My mother was weak but my grandmother was strong, I learned much from both.
@@marijagrujicic1370 ya I feel that's due to the cost of conversation has been reduced so much by internet and easy transportation. It's like when we have the chance to communicate anytime with anyone we stop investing in practicing conversing and just change the interlocutor every time the conversations not going well
The last part of being straight forward is so true. My man always tells me to talk it out coz he ain’t giving up on us. We have to sort it out and tell what’s wrong. He always tells me that he doesn’t wanna know who spoke to me and what jokes I craked at work but instead he wants to know if something went wrong with me during the whole day, if I had any breakdowns or if I ever felt overwhelmed. That’s what he asks me to do and be straightforward about if he is not giving us enough time or if I wanna talk to him, he says that tell me that you wanna talk and it’s his responsibility and his headache to make time. He says that he wants to know if me as his future wife has any issues. He’s happy to fix the issues in him and he does try too.
I love being around masculine men and appreciate their energy very much. ‘Feminism’ has become completely ridiculous. It’s ok that we are different to each other, I can’t do many things he can do and vice versa. Love seeing clips like this, so healthy for everyone. ♥️
what do you mean by "masculine men"? They are just: men (beautiful creatures and everything but masculinity is an invented term and has hurt a lot of them)
@@viviana3666i think by “masculine men” which is redundant i think she what she meant is self-aware men who are capable of healthy relationships… as opposed to the still blind clueless men running on auto-pilot without any control over their egos… which goes both ways for women too just in different forms it’s displayed as…
Finally someone who makes sense on here and preaches exactly what I've been saying for years, that we need eachother and realise that both sides have their strengths and weaknesses
I also watch Adrienne Everhart who is an insightful relationship expert and has exceptionally illuminating and useful things to teach for optimal attraction between the sexes. Usually from the female viewpoint, but highly beneficial to all sexes.
wow, you just made it click to me that I also did not grow up with any male role models in my life either! And I was wondering why I couldn't figure them out, other than sexually lol. It makes more sense now thank you 😭❤
I love how direct you are with everything, and also the fact that you are educating people on things that actually are going to help them a lot, I also agree with the things that you are talking about in here, we love feeling that we are needed by females or feeling that we are useful for them.
@@saltytroter6966 I don't think you can blame that on women. There are other factors in our society that affects the consciousness of people. Outside influences like Television and controlled movements. I highly recommend the doc. Century of the Self.
As a man all I can say is....wow...a lot of this answers some questions about traits I have...I love the informative structure you used to approach this, thank you.
@BladeRnR10 Actually, there is nothing more sickening than a Distorted Masculine ( or Distorted Feminine for that matter) with an unchecked shadow who enjoys trolling and contributing to the current divisions in our society.
@@NCardude the destruction of intimacy is effective, i am male but have experienced many female past lives. One past live was bith genders, we are one until we are divided. The slave master is equally enslaved.
Amazing video, as a man I appreciate and applaud you in the message you are delivering for both sexes. I believe the only way to heal society is for each sex to step into their truth and hold the other sex in the highest part of themselves.
Men also need passion, direction, life values & an understanding of themselves. We live in the information age where the constant bombardment of BS 'information' , distorted imagery of life and what life really is confuses men. They no longer really know what they represent. Very few people self analyse and therefore don't really know their 'true' selves...
yes but you don't need a woman to have that. you can find that out for yourself. and when you have a woman, you can tell her how you want her to support you in the existing passion, direction, etc. that you already have.
@@jedilady4485 Totally agree. There are many things I don't understand about society. One thing that particularly springs to mind when thinking about this topic is the whole 'pickup' and 'dating' scene. This comes as a result of looking outwardly, thinking a relationship provides solutions & makes us 'complete'. In actual fact I've come to discover that having a deep relationship with ourselves brings both a strength and vulnerability. It is through this that we understand our true selves and our true nature. It through this that we can all, both men and women, can give ourselves truly...
@CV B you have to remember men have this one big weakness. Never to be seen as weak. I am supposed to be strong in always and in all forms. Mentally, physically, and even spiritally. We hear this from men(fathers growing up) and women. Especially later in life. So showing weakness like asking for help is hard for us to admit and even do. The men like myself who do seek to heal things broken in ourselves can only do this in two ways. One is if the go MIA and do it in solitude. Tell no one because in truth we won't get real support. Only negative. What they get is pressure and constant questioning like how is it going? You over that yet? You got your crap together now? Similar like you women who are single and being peppered on who you dating or when you getting married? Why are you single? Whats wrong with you? This is the same feeling for a man trying to find himself or heal. So men usually act like nothings wrong with him and shows a strong face. The second way is for him to do self healing by being pushed into a corner, by usually a spouse and family. Not in attacking his manhood now. That will never work. He would have to admit something is wrong. Much like a intervention. These only work if a relationship is about to end or losing the family is eminent. Not threats mind you.Those ghost shows illustrate this perfectly. The family is in danger (from the ghost or demon) or he could lose them. That forces him to feel powerless and want do all he can to fix the situation. I would suggest when trying to get a man to change you would have to speak in this way maybe. "Honey I dont feel safe. We both have things broken in us. I scared I will lose you and then I will lose us. I can't bear that. We both have to heal and be better. If I can't for you or you can't for me we should seperate. I love you so much." Any other blameful way you tell him to get help won't work. You have to remember all men get that constant message of be a man. Be strong yet open up and show your feelings. We can't easily change easily from one to another usually. Ok this went way longer then I wanted. I hope you understand some what I mean.
@S I second CVB, Dr. Peterson is a phenomenal speaker for the adult-manager-main fragment of men that need to develop confidence, survive, and hopefully thrive, but he speaks little to the things men often don't realize they need: the space to know you as men, as a part of humanity, and as a necessity to life you need time to know that you are not just appreciated for what you do, but for who you simply are. You need to heal like women nee to heal emotionally, you don't have to rush success, take action of course, but when the doors open for you to flow into the next stages. Take time to truly develop your self, for you, and also don't be afraid of unconditional love, commitments, and the rotation of needs that may come forward from within you. Communication is key, and not assuming that a handful of comments are the only ones in the world. There are humanistic people on all sides of the spectrum who want to see you thrive and want to let you know their frustrations too: the human experience is anecdotal and that's important as it is practical.
@SWhat is overlooked in our society is mental strength. The depiction of strength in society, in films, is inaccurate. It is in fact through vulnerability, set backs and challenges in our lives that our true strength, our true courage can be unlocked. This is true for both men and women. A strong man is in touch with his vulnerability. It is then that we discover who we truly are and what we are truly capable of. In society have a habit of internalising challenges and setbacks and seeing them as negative. As a pain. In actual fact these are opportunities for us to discover more about ourselves and our capacity as an individual and species..
I spent a couple of decades giving ‘space’ which was ultimately incompatibility. Hard lesson. It’s easy to ignore when you meet really young thinking there’s room to grow. Sadly, growth doesn’t always happen especially when requests, working out of agreements, directly asking etc are perceived as criticism. Sometimes dudes are not interested in relating.
The truth, spoken after years of misguided resentment at a gender. Thank you. Never stop spreading this message. We need to hear it to heal the toxic divide between genders❤️
I’m a man, and you put it so … correct. I feel like a nag, cause my frequent complaint is “you will easily tell me where I’m going wrong or come short, but you never compliment me”. And the passive aggressive leaves me going “what did I do?????!”. Now I’m off to watch ‘The Divine Masculine’. Love your work! 🙏
I love men being men, instinctively true and strong with their partner.. Men need to be needed, validated and accepted for who they are... Kindness and respect for each other's differences and realize we are perfect as we are...
I don't date, been about 7 years. My husband passed 14 years ago. I tried to date. Men I felt were to good for me, my life was a MESS after husband died. I couldn't in good conscience even date. Some were on drugs! I TRIED TO FIX THEM. 🙄 I want to be in a relationship but can't. I'm 60 in pretty good shape. The men my age are heading to nursing home looking for a care giver! 🙄 I'm a natural care giver so it's been VERY hard to say, I'm sorry I can't. That is mind numbing work...I'm TIRED, damn it. I just do hobbies and I'm good! People are lucky who find mates... appreciate what you got. Even if he's like having another child, as long as he is being responsible!
@@dellashibu6376 nothing is for sure. Not all men all go getters. Not all woman are go getters. Hopefully someone is a go getter in the family. People rather be on drugs then stand up to the plate... everyone is SO MISERABLE THEY HAVE TO SELF-MEDICATE. OR SO UPTIGHT THEY NEED TO MEDICATE! 🤷 Hey when you find out let me know. 😁 I always say. Happy happy happy! I'm grateful, I'm blessed and I'm going to do what's necessary for my family!
Utterly incredible I’ve been saying this for so long… this pendulum effect that’s happening. Everything you said was perfection Thank You I hope all men and women find this video 🙏🏽
I need my man and I'm not afraid to admit. We need each other. There's things that I can't do that he can, and things that I can do that he can't. Thanks Teal for the info, I can be a better partner! ❤️
That explains why I have a half older brother, half older sister.. and I'm the only child of my mother and father's current marriage.. My mom is SUPER independent and critical.. and she previously got with my sister's dead beat dad that made her clean the house and pay the bills.. and my brother's dad who cheated on her with multiple women.. My dad (her current spouse) is super nice and has a high vibration.. but at times he can be a doormat and just lets her do what she wants. He sometimes complains about my mom not taking him seriously.. Toxic feminism can turn out to be a SERIOUS mess when there is no balance in a relationship... (I'm saying this to inform people of how important balance is and to respect the position of the opposite sex, and to respect yourself to attract the same kind of respect.. but not putting your sex on a pedestal.)
@@nikkinorman4254 for a ballanced man his home is a sanctuary, not a dojo. Forbiding arguments at home or "ritualizing" them (ie argumenting while taking a walk) can helps communicating.
@@nikkinorman4254sounds like you're blaming your mother's first two baby-daddies for being deadbeats, but failing to blame your mother for choosing them as the fathers of your half-siblings to begin with. It takes two to tango, so while I agree 100% that they were deadbeats, where was her accountability when she was spreading her legs for those deadbeats? Women have all the authority when it comes to reproductive rights, so they bear all the responsibility to not let crappy men into their bodies in the first place. As for your father, sounds like you're mother is the "user/abuser" in that relationship, but now your father's not happy but would have to chop his leg off to get away from her because legal system is so biased against men...which Teal alluded to right in this video.
Damn, she actually gets it. Ladies take note of what Ms Swan is saying here because it’s facts. Men must feel needed or we will find somewhere else that we’re needed. We know you can open the jar lid, but ask us to. It’s simple stuff like that, and add a cooked meal from time to time and make sure to initiate intimacy with your man because women are in control of sex and who’s having it, but men are in control of marriage. Just automatically know that if you have a normal man that he wants to have sex often so just know so initiate the sex because it’s absolutely crushing to any man when they’re denied sex from the women they love. Work on these three things and you’ll find yourself in the longest committed relationship that you’ve ever been in lol.
Yes! Thanks for giving the men their power back without losing any bit of our female strength. Well said. I am fortunate to be in a male/female partnership where we both bring our personal strengths to each other and accept where we each need support.
Can you explain what you mean by that? Like, what perspective did you have/how did you feel prior to this video, and how do you feel about it now/how did your perspective shift? (I'm trying to understand this from different perspectives~)
@@apollofateh324 hmm I'll try. Bear in mind, my English is pretty bad. To understand the reason why this video was such a relief, i must tell you that it wasn't from a change of perspective as what are male's roles in society , it was from learning that some women do acknowledge the mistakes that they made on the male species especially by the feminists. The good thing from that movement is we get to listen what caused their pain so we could learn not to do it BUT, that movement was so loud in forcing changes, it crossed the boundaries of how males are naturally, generally wired. It wanted male to behave like females and abandoned what males needed in order to function healthily. We don't manifest physically the same because psychologically we have different structures and fibres. Since the main core of our soul is to fulfill the role of protecting women, I was walking on eggshells to not be in my whole masculinity form just because i didn't want to cause pain on women, especially women that matter to me. So it was a disastrous phase, having to betray myself when deep down I clearly knew, what should be done but i suppressed it because many women said it was toxic. So when a woman, in this case Ms Swan, addressed and acknowledged the differences between these two genders, i felt relieved because finally i could stop listening to many ridiculous loud females and focus on the truth.
@@adnaine536 well said 🙂 Extreme feminism takes things too far and what they're trying to achieve is pointless, to say the least. It's so wonderful to see the kindness of man when he holds the door for a woman and nice gestures like those. All women love it, including feminists (despite what they say). When men have these nice gestures, it doesn't mean that they are seeing a woman as fragile or dependent. It's just a nice thing to do for each others. Simple!! Us women need to stop being dramatic with these things. Life is complicated as it is, why complicate more? I'm very happy that you don't feel the need to conceal anymore of what you think is best. Wish you well sir ☺️
If he’s the right man it should be natural flowing. You don’t have to try so hard to be someone you’re not. Some women are not naturally feminine, some women aren’t. Some men are naturally feminine, some men aren’t. You must understand yourself to understand what you want and need in a man.
Teal, it's wonderful to hear from someone like u with such great & moderate presentation. Men & women are not equal, we play different roles & need each other. The world we live in today...too much polarity going on... U saw what was coming, Teal. U know what damage can be done when the pendulum swings too highh
I think Teal is right about guys who do the pump and dump or nut and bolt (basically PUAs). They're traumatized in a way that they need to be in a dominant role. These guys derive their self-worth from the number of women they have sex with. Not healthy for a guy really.
@Ahmed B I have been thinking about this for the last few days. I hear that men want a high sex count beacuse they believe that women think that is attractive, which it isn't. It just depends on that person. I have yet to hear from men or women that said their current partner told them how many people they slept with was hot. Most people men and women will judge their partner negatively if they have a high count, this is from hear from friends, though.
@@medviation men usually do the bag and drag because they've come to the conclusion that ultimately, relationships will end the same way and is not worth giving it a go. Just look at how hard they fall when a woman eventually gets through to them.
You are 💯 correct. I thought I was a lesbian for 20 years because I was brainwashed by the feminist movement. Thank god I woke up at 40 and have been with a wonderful, masculine, confident, competent man for the last 5 years ❤❤
I was raised to be independent and strong, among other things. Now I'm 37 and trying to figure out my feminity. I met the man of my dreams three years ago, and almost ruined it because I didn't understand the very concepts Teal is breaking down. I'm having to, and want to, NEED TO, learn...not to mention how I recognize my ways in my daughter...I love content like this, it is life changing. Thank you to everyone involved.
An excellent video! Men want to feel needed, women need to feel wanted. Yes, it really is that simple! Men indeed are not mind readers, and this man personally greatly appreaciates a woman that can communicate her wants and needs directly. Thank you.
Men want to be wanted too. If they merely need us like an addict needs his next fix, then it doesn’t really matter if they want us. They could hate us, and still need us. For example if you don’t know how to self-validate and constantly rely on your man to remind you that you are worthy and lovable, then your self esteem is dependent on the man’s presence in your life. He could be a cheater and abuser but none of that matters, you need him. You literally don’t have the power to walk away.
i would love to be in a society where we can say anything what we really feel (in a decent way) and be vulnerable! it is actually much easier, there is more freedom and clarity that way.
We can start a world like that by being honest in all possible situations! We can show other people how awesome life is when you speak from you heart. I do my best to always speak the truth even when it isn't recieved well. I like to think that the medicine has a delayed reaction. Maybe the people I interact with will think about how healthy and happy I looked when I spoke my truth. I am trying to learn how to not be too blunt though, because some people make me angry without trying, so I should confirm with them what their intentions are before I release my anger. I wonder what the proper and healthy way to express anger would look like?
@@georgestobbart4894 Then that woman is not meant for you! On the other hand there is always a nicer/chill way to express yourself. The one who understands what you are is the woman for you.
Would be nice. However modern women have grown an unfair vindication against men. I've seen countless stories of false accusations against men ruining their lives by women. Even saw a news story of a 19 year old guy being arrested for merely, accidentally brushing up against a 17 year old girl. It's hard to trust women these days. I'm just thankful I found one who isn't mentally warped in misandry.
When men don’t do anything, then do you do it or live in a trash can. No thank you. I can do it myself and know that it is done. If not, aren’t we called a nag. They can sit in their egos.
I started this expecting to hate it but, damn This was really well and thoughtfully put together. You're an intelligent and astute woman and I really appreciate your take on this concept.
This is soooo accurate. All my hurt involving men and father figure has led me to the man-hating mentality, which is just the other extreme of the codependent relation with male figures. Such a huge shadow. Damn.
I'm interested to understand how being man-hating... Converted into you entering a codependent relationship. On the surface, that doesn't make sense. But I feel a truth to it... But I can't quite grasp it. If you see this, I'd very much appreciate it if you could expand on this a bit. Thanks.
@@breakingthemasks it’s the opposite, the codependent relationships led me to the men hating mentality ;) which is not healing at all, is just the other extremity
@@saraand8787 Same. My dad didn't have a good father figure and thus did the basics of what you'd expect a father to be. And when i wanted more attention from him that I felt I lacked, and even pursued a couple of times, it always seemed like he couldn't deal with me or that he was too busy. It led me to think the codependency i see with my mom, who sometimes gets frustrated with this, as something to avoid when looking for men. It made me crave male attention more, looking for passive types that would make me feel loved and looked after. And the rest of that you can probably understand after watching this video.
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves. This is complete nonsense.
this is everything I needed to hear. things I have been thinking about, but not really able to articulate. thanks for bringing clarity to this subject.
Also, Kasia Urbaniak calls it "good girl conditioning". That "I don't need anything," attitude that is really a fear to ask for what you truly want and need.
urgh. i agree being able to ask for help is important at times but pretending to be dependent or being completely dependent on men is also wrong. MEN NEVER DO THAT and that pride and confidence along with dependence from women gives them power.
@@dellashibu6376 Men do that all the time. Many men are searching for Mommy. Someone to be their brain for them so they don't have to make decisions or take responsibility. This is a problem with many men that I have met. Try being a woman for a year and you'll see it much more clearly. Men are not immune to co-dependancy.
@@ViolaVoltairine all the time really? clearly u have a type u are chasing or attracting. but i have to admit, some men can be codependent. But still most men including some of codependent ones have no shortage in reasonless pride/confidence or arrogance/toxic masculinity. Exhibit A: Married man depending on wife for all his needs and wants. wife does chores, works, care for kids, Still he probably thinks he runs the home. Meanwhile the lady is trained and told to think she is weaker and incapable of survival without this man who brings nothing to the table in terms of relationship. *The point i was trying to make in earlier comment seems to skip ur biased brain so ill repeat it ->Men in general, never pretend to be lesser than human or women, to find a female spouse Yet this video advices women to do so in some way or the other. They dont hold back at office either. And All the men in the comment section is happy about it and even women too. Its not about whether there are men capable of it or not, they arent TOLD or EXPECTED to do so to find a partner. So, peabrain, as a women, my question to the world is, why are women expected or told to do so?* Why is this video trying to condition women to behave a certain way that has only the merit of making men/man happy while it chips away at a woman's core. Change is hard and slow. But it doesnt mean it should be stopped. When all woman rise to their full potential(in career&personal) in their own terms. Uphold their own standards while choosing partners, Men WILL Follow suit by appreciating it, normalizing it, accepting it and maybe even expecting it. They will adapt to the new normal (househusbands/sharing resposibities of home,child care equally/not expecting female spouse to give up career as a norm after marriage/ proper discussions between spouses to give weight to both individuals needs and wants/ more voice for women at home in financial planning ) and they should. This is how progress is made. NOT by Holding on to outdated shitty thoughts, propogating them, validating them online with help of old timers and men afraid of change. Go gender equality!!!!! Dont hold back ladies show him ur full selves. Confident, Happy, Capable. And tell him "I got it" when u dont need help and if he isnt intimidated/upset -> go for it.😊. Stay away from men looking for easily manipulatable weak women/girls. Stay away from men looking for masculinity validation from women. Stay away from Insecure and overconfident men. Run away from men who expects you to be less than what you are capable of to make them happy cuz if roles were reversed they wouldnt even dream of making the same sacrificea for u.
YES!!! I grew up with all brothers, so I guess I missed out on "nice girl training" and am as straightforward as possible, without sounding like a jerk. My husband loves it. I am actively teaching my boys and girls to be more direct with their wants and needs.
Me too! My mom was also very blunt and honest. I was taught to be loving but to always say what needed to be said and to do so without a lot of vague talk. I have sons, as well as my husband, and I have to be absolutely clear about everything with them. They think and hear and process very differently than me and even with the directness we miss each other and misunderstand. lol
Women are naturally delightful and are most beautiful when they are authentically themselves. One of the issues is a lot of women compare themselves to other women desiring their qualities which takes away from their own attractive unique expression from shining through and letting the right man who's compatible and wants such a woman to recognize her. A healthy masculine man doesn't care if you as a woman are talented, popular, wealthy, independent etc...just do the inner work to sit in your femininity and your natural qualities and unique expression will come through and be appreciated by someone who values just that!
Teal Swan is a genius of modern times. She totally understands the psychological and emotional dynamics of human relationships. Listening to her is a breath of fresh air and so insightful. Wow!
realizing i’ve been taught to do all the wrong things is a little horrifying in this current moment! thanks for opening my eyes to what i’ve been doing
@@Twisted86 And how do you achieve life without women? You plan moving on Mars? cause on this planet you will be bumping into them either way, you don't actually need a wife or a girlfriend, but maybe a co-worker or a sister. Even if you lock yourself and work from home for the rest of your life, your biology alone still dictates your need for the opposite sex. And even if society's so-called correctness is dividing and conquering us in so many ways, unless we are psychopaths (which I am sure most of us are not) we are still better together.
so.... I don't know how I ended up here, but you actually make some fantastic points, and you are an extremely clear speaker (a luxury nowadays). Great job!!
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"This doesn't mean that we're better or worse than eachother, it means our areas of excellence are different" 💯🔥👏
I'm better at being angry and punching things, and you're better at being sad and/or crying! Yeaaah, gender roles /flex /kms
@Infinite Signy Happy person confirmed
I’ve said this from day one! Men and women are not better or worse than each other, just different than each other and have different strengths and weaknesses. Some people can play the piano 🎹 and some people can play the guitar 🎸. It’s just the way it is. Cheers!
Word. And the idiocracy of contemporary society really is that "human nature" has come to be regarded as almost some sort of swear word and most certainly is concidered a faux-pas! 🤦🏻♂️🙄
@@tomprice3258 lol, I can play both but the guitar better but I also definetely can play the piano better than playing pretend of being a woman with all its unique and nuanced qualities and features! 😉
I grew up in a problematic family. My father completely refused to do basically anything for our family so we were relying on my mom all the time. I grew up as "strong independent, go and get it" woman. I was always wondering why awesome men were not coming to me, only leach or taming type of guys. Then I met my husband 7 years ago, who just told me this simple thing: "my love, we are a team, we are in everything together. You don't have to do things on your own anymore". That woke me up, and suddenly I felt relieved that I have a man on my side who will do his job, and I will not have to struggle anymore. I realized it at that moment, how I really struggled till that point, and I considered it "empowerment" meanwhile it was just simply heavy labour unnecessarry struggle. My man is a true treasure. Ladies, listen to Teal, your life will be much more of a high quality!
You're fortunate, my man told me that and he got comfortable and started to sit on Facebook at every chance he got and nothing seemed to be able to get him off. Needless to say I left.
@@ZFern9390 yes, and guys like that are complaining to everybody that all women are...... all they care about is rich or cool guys. And he can't find a decent one. They want a slave, not a woman. You did right that you left! Tipical 'you have to make food, wash, clean etc meanwhile I am doing entirely nothing, nothing what a man suppose to do. BUT if you miss to clean once the house, or you are deciding not to cook, i am going to shame you immediatelly" 😂
@@Bvilloyou can't claim to be “independent, go and get it” type while also expecting men to approach you instead of asking them out yourself
The hypocrisy of women...
@@-SimonRiley
Hey there, don't be so judgemental, like this I could also say "ohhh the ultimate laziness of men, they would expect us to do everything even in bed, meanwhile they just stay still and enjoy themselves".. Back to your question: Tried that one too, didn't work SUPRISE SUPRISE 😄 thats why I said it is dumb to be "strong and independent etc woman" I know it from experience, you are a living, walking repellent for real men 😄
It so will be!
The bit about feminism I've spoken with my husband about many times. I call it an overcorrection. The modern feminist movement has overcorrected to a point of inequality, inequity, and it no longer serves women at all. It's been really wild to see it play out.
Thank you for being honest about this!
My now ex and I broke up over this issue. Many young women do not see that the modern left has become very radical and „overcorrected“ as you say. It’s gotten from a good cause to support to a tyrannical movement.
I’m grateful for every person who starts to see and realise this. Men are not your enemy, we want you to strive just as much! Anyone who doesn’t, is a fool
You hit the nail on the head. Thank you!
A feminist can't be a wife
As a man, I love serving women. Teal is correct in that men need to have a purpose, and to me, our main purpose in life is to provide for and protect our families. That's why we take risks and go for the big bucks. We want to serve you, ladies. We want you to be our queens, and we want to be good role models for our kids. This is what it means to be a man.
💞
Thank You ❤
🫶🏿
You are so appreciated
If only more men knew this and if only more women chose compatible partners.
Being passive aggressive was my biggest issue. But my boyfriend was direct and helped me communicate with him better. Its been ten years we are together now.
My ideal form of relationship. 👏🏼 wish i could find someone like him
@@huirant287 Guys like that are never online, their in constant drive for self improvement it may be big or small, but it is for sake of becoming better, my advice for you is to go out more, go to book store's, places that demonstrate intelligence, respect and righteousness and act feminine.
I can’t stand passive aggressiveness, one of women’s biggest issues. Be direct, get things done, have good communication.
@@bernesk3773 hard to find single people that way though
@@SandraLovesSun Hard to find high quality men.
As a man. Im crying right now. This was beautiful.
Lmao
Sounds like you’re a wo-man.
Aww I want to hug you :]
I love that you said this🙏
Thank you
Wow!!!
This was better than the last 6 sessions with my therapist.
She is amazing 👏
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
@@miriambayliss7058 you can say that again! 😂
Three years later, this is all still true. This video hits something so utterly deep and true about humanity. I'm so glad I found myself on this side of RUclips.
Notes:
- To make him feel wanted and needed, give him a role in your life. Open the space to let him do things for you.
- Give positive feedback for his IMPORTANCE in your life. The role that he performs, etc.
- Don't drop hints/cues - just assert needs.
Is it me.... or am I hearing a dog trainer through this statement?
Thank you, I'm a very visual person and I like to see things written down.
I told him what I need and he said “is this an obligation?” “Are you trying to change me?” I was like no, I thought you want to know what makes me happy. Anyways, that relationship ended quickly.
This is the same with everyone: man or woman
A man wants basically to be Admired and Appreciated.....this is where his role comes from....regardless of what he does
My husband had to teach me to just say what I didn't like him doing at the time instead of letting it accrue like a debt in my head that would come spewing out during arguments. Once I learned this life got much better for both of us.
Thats really nice!
That would make things so easy.
Thanks for sharing. I am learning this now in my current relationship. Its hard because i'm not good at expressing/tapping into what i want but i like that he wants to know at the same time :-)
You really had to learn that not saying you are annoyed by something is causing people to do it by accident ? Seriously ?
@@jakubrogacz6829 I was raised in a family where people responded violently if I said how I felt so it wasn't natural for me to just say how I felt. After my husband assured me he wouldn't get angry if I was honest with him I started trying to speak up like 'oh I wish you'd wipe the benches after you clean the dishes'. Based on my experiences from my family that would have resulted in people yelling "Do them yourself then!" and throwing dishes at me. So I was actually surprised when he'd just say ok and wipe the benches. I'm grateful for him making me feel safe to use my voice. Its helped me feel brave in other areas of my life too.
💯!! To all men watching, know that there are MANY women out there who agree with this and need you to be men!! Thank you!
I approve this message. 💯
Absolutely!
Responsibility gives us meaning. To care for you, to fix everything that breaks, to open the door for you, to open my heart to you means I love you. It also means you completely have the keys to my castle, you can and have completely destroyed me. I have rebuilt myself over and over. In spite of this I still love you.
I never get mad at a man opening a door or using his physical strength to help me . Love it.
Former "independent" lesbian here to say this is everything I needed to hear!!! I grew up with a passive father and overbearing controlling mother, never learning how to be in a healthy relationship. THIS helped so much!!!!!
I hear ya
Are you implying that your controlling mother caused you to look to other women for a relationship?
Thank you!
@@ruckboger she is relaying to us, her struggle with how she took the roles in her parents dynamic and that it created a mixed message for her on what to emulate..it may change for everyone but there wasn't a reason to try and set her up for a verbal attack. You are looking for a fight not really wanting to know about her journey.
@@thegoldengypsy929 What? I'm not looking for a fight. I'm trying to understand if she's saying she is now a lesbian because of her mother or her father.
As a man I have no idea what women want !!! Just tell us !! We will do everything we can to help and support you !! As we love you !! Help us to help you !!
Love this. 😂 So true. What a good man you are!
I am currently being abused in this way.
I'm told .. just tell me what you want
So I do .. then it's ignored. On purpose.
Actually helping me was Never on his mind.
Start asking better questions instead of placing the blame on the woman in your life please.
The effort proves you are truly committed to your partner.
This video is so important for women to understand. The feminist movement is ruining masculinity which is leading to women not being attracted to their man. This is the root problem. Men need to be able to be men in order for a woman to feel like a woman. This isn't misogynistic this is our nature.
I used to be a lot more in my masculine, "I don't need a man energy", in my early 20's. Now in my early 30's, and more confident I'm my body and my femininity, I noticed a huge change im my relationships. Now men, (total strangers), open the door for me and I let them. My now boyfriend loves to physically lift me up, give me gifts and compliments all the time, and im now learning to receive. In a weird way in the past, it was almost as if my self worth was so low, that I didn't think I was worthy of love. It's out love that a man does these things so I allow him. Just like I ask my boyfriend if he's eaten, or give him a back rub for carrying me sometimes 😅. It should be a beautiful give and take, I understand this now.
I see men open doors for masculine women all the time
Yes. Recieve graciously, ladies. Those stupid flowers scattered throughout the house as a trail to the invitation to spend the weekend at a German Inn is as cliché and unimaginative as tooth ache, so you may be thinking. But don't say it out loud. We got much enjoyment out of planning it out and going to the florist. We may be awkward and clumsy at romance, but recieve well and give us our enjoyment as well. Don't deny us our love for doing stupid stuff for you.
Good thing as long as it’s a genuine and a pure interaction problem is these men these days want to be spoiled and do things expecting something in return right away it’s not genuine low effort
These days you can’t benefit from being with a man. That’s why I stay on my own
You lifted such a heavy weight from my mind when you said that we don't have to be/act/look independent. Thank you so much Teal ♡
Independence is a myth!
Owning a car, for example, gives people a sense of independence but depends on the entire history of the evolution of technology and economics in order for it to be a possibility.
A 'self made' independent business owner is entirely dependent on their customers and the stability of the society around them.
Nobody is independent unless they built their own house with materials they gathered themselves using tools they made and designed themselves while eating food they produced themselves using recipes of their own making... etc etc etc. Humans cannot exist independently... at least not for more than a few hours and even then... someone brought them into the world!
People who passionately claim independence are either blind to or ignorant of how much other people have contributed to their lives.
@@AtlanticSiren
There's nothing wrong with being strong and capable, or even aloof and dismissive of others... not if it is genuine and appropriate to the individual relationships that we experience. It's just that these things shouldn't be seen as aspirational achievements and especially not the standard to which we all must conform... People are so much more than that.
We think of the constraints that society puts upon us as being self-inflicted... because we identify as 'society', 'humanity' or 'culture'! This leads us to believe that we can 'fix' these things as individuals... but if we try we are likely to discover that we can't! At least not immediately.
The conditioning that we have all experienced is incredibly effective, largely because of our sociable nature... Compliance with what is familiar to us comes easy while change can be a struggle... but I think that once a person understands the myth and how absurd it is for people to perpetuate it, they can begin to shift their inner focus, away from projecting an image of themselves for the benefit of other people, more towards awareness of their actual experience of other people. It encompasses 'letting people in' and learning to be vulnerable as well as experiencing compassion.
The paradox of trying to be more connected to our humanity within this culture is that we will often end up looking more independent as we step out of the mold and become more complex individuals!!!!
I hope that makes some kind of sense... I just read it back and I'm confusing myself!
I'll leave you with this:
“Nature is busy creating absolutely unique individuals, whereas culture has invented a single mold to which all must conform. It is grotesque” ~ U G Krishnamurti
@@CitrusSimon Yes... a compassionate life, for sure. (Which is essentially the same thing as a spiritual life.)
I'm sorry but as a woman, I cringe so much when I hear, ''I'm an independant woman'' or ''I can do anything that men can do''. For me it just shows the degree of your insecurities. If you feel the need to claim that, than it means deep down you don't feel like that. Imagine that : ''I'm an independant man!'' ''I can do everything that women can do!'' This is cringe right? Edit: Of course you can! You can do whatever the heck you want with your life. But men need women the same way women need men, for emotional support, I'm not talking about money!
Edit: I'm not saying women shouldn't or can't be independant (financially or whatever), I'm saying why the heck do you feel the need to tell everyone, as if your ego depends on it. Yes, women need to be financially independant. There are no reasons why women should have less money because of biology.
@@CitrusSimon Rare as they are, connections like that do make it all worthwhile! :)
as a woman i support this. I love masculine energy. Im just as much traumatized as the man. Ive gotten my bounduries pulled out from under me and then felt forced to do life by myself. I really hope we can fix this. I want masculine energy to match my feminine energy. go all of us. Lets not give up!
We got this!!💯
THIS IS PURE GOLD!! 🥳💙💐
I am not equal to a man, and I love our complementary differences ❤
I am a new-age woman with traditional values.
I CAN do just about anything I put my mind to, but I don't want to bc I love feeling at home in my confidence of being a soft feminine woman when it comes to things like taking out the trash, working on the car, or mowing the lawn - when my man takes care of things that need to be done, I feel valued by him, and so I enjoy returning that with a good meal, clean clothes, and a home that looks n smells amazing.
Yes, sometimes he helps in the house, and I sometimes help in the yard. It feels great to do things together, knowing we have each other's backs.
When I am weak, he is strong, and vice-versa. We complement each other well when God is the centered balance ❤
Keep in mind if you’re in a relationship w a narcissist none of this applies... simply run!! They will never change or be healthy for you.
And the issue is that MOST men are narcissists this is why relationships no longer work. It's not women's fault.
I lol'd at this generalization. Think of all the males from around the world, some in huts, some in houses, some in flats, some on houseboats, some in motels lol. Most are narcissists? Wow.
M Styles that’s your experience. i’ve met women who are completely at fault of this. refusing to take responsibility is an emotional response, not logical.
@@mstyles2667 wow... The ignorance spewing from this comment. I'm baffled. No most men are NOT narcissists and you don't speak for all women and the reason their relationships fail. Don't project your experiences on that many people. Are you serious.
@@mstyles2667 Most women are narcissists. Gottem.
I love love love men. I love them as friends, I love them as lovers. I love their energy, companionship and how they want to look after us females.
Me too I have so much love for them they go through so much and never get to talk about it 🥲😭😭 we have to support them too🤍🤍🤍🥺🥲
Do they really want to look after us? Is this like whats normal or occurs often?
What are you talking about..
Agreed, healthy masculine energy is just 🥰
Same!
I am a single father of 2 kids. I hope women have better understanding about men after watching this video. Thank you Teal ❤
I assure you there are many women who 100% agree with Teal and have known this for years. 👍
The whole 'I don't need a man/ I'm independent' comment really hit home for me, especially in the types of men this attitude attracts. It would be helpful to have a video recommendation to watch, to help step out of this mindset for women like myself who have been forced to 'do it all' due to a lack of positive male role models her whole life. I've never had any sort of relationship with a male who hasn't been toxic, controlling, abusive or weak and it has resulted in having an 'I don't need a male' attitude. No idea how to step out of it now.
This video has since come out ruclips.net/video/BwUrfi1Lh_M/видео.html
Btw, I used to be where you are.. I started dating a guy I normally wouldn't go for, a guy from a more conservative culture, and he changed my life for the better. I was probably a bit of a detriment to him at first, but I came around and I'm incredibly grateful now.
“I want to be connected to you. I need to be connected just as much as you do. In order to feel that way I need to fill a role in your life. A role that holds purpose so that I can clearly tell that you need me and thus want me here in your life.”
😭 my single ass got emotional at that part
SAME 😭💕
@CV B and oh yea be under 30
Unless your in Melbourne, Australia I can't help you with the single situation in your life :p Look I'm sorry it's just how it is.
She's equating needs and wants thereby turning men into desirable mules. The day women want men simply for who they are will be the day real advancement comes. The exchanging of the needs of the woman for the wants of the man is basically whoredom with a white picket fence around it. Anymore, intimacy is the only thing the two sexes need from each other but eons of the wants/needs exchange program have left us nearly incapable of adapting to this new paradigm.
Sorry, you did not deserve to have all that dumped on you, it's just the way I see it (which is probably way off. Oh well.) Cheers
@@jjcool4184 i know on the surface this is cruel. Men started thinking this way when most women over 30 standards seem to sky rocket while their looks decline. They are way more damaged from the bad boys they dated in their youth. So they are now so bitter. Men knowing what they now know dont want to deal with that when they are getting finacially set. Truth is younger women are a bit more easy going without the baggage.
While many men say they do this because they just want young fertile women. I do not see it that way I see plenty of women actractive over 30. I would think they would match better maturity wise. Yet, too many times I see they are damaged beyond repair and have so many standards while I am expected to have none.
I am a woman and I endorse this message.
Im a man and no one cares what you endorse
@@thesmartestmanintheworld2653stay in your lane woman!
Sorry I’ve gotta go back to my job as a heavy line electrician, where I’ve never met a woman in my field!
We need the cookie bakers and bed sheet folders!
Be proud of the calling God granted you…hopefully….
Don’t burn em! 🍪 😜
I enjoyed learning about this. As a woman and single Mother we have played the masculine role more than often and I truly believe that learning about a man in his true masculine is important as he learns how a woman is in her true femininity. Always become vulnerable n authentic with what you want n need with your partner. Thank you for this message!🙏🏽
Wow 🤩 This is what information is missing hugely right now. I hope anyone who hears it will share it, because human connection is becoming endangered. It’s mostly from jumping to incorrect conclusions or passing judgment without understanding. I’m back in school for my BA in psychology, and you are officially my main person who I admire and respect and want to help like you are.❤ Thank you for being here!!!
Like any ideology, conservatism is misinformation. Gender roles have always benefited women and came at the expense of men's energy and health. There is no point in providing for a woman when she not only can work, but has affirmative action and makes up 60% of college graduates.
I was fine without him, he was fine without me. We allowed each other to fill roles in the other’s life. We complimented each other.
Interdependence is beautiful!
You mean complemented
Aaaaaaaaaaaa finally a mentally healthy person on the internet, this is a miracle
"Fine"
I think this is just doubling down on feminism. Every other woman on dating apps says: "I'm fine. My life is happy. I just want some one who adds to my happiness."
These are the women you see on the app for 5 years. These are the exact women who are creating passive behavior in men. I'd love to pull her man aside and ask was he fine without a woman in his life. He'd probably say: "I was fine with a headache."
Her man is going to be in serious trouble down the line... She will love him and leave him when she is 75. I don't need him for "anything" anymore. He'll be 80 with dementia living in a dusty room all alone. Trust!
@@TrillEverything Geesh, it sounds like you’ve got some baggage to work through. The author was saying that each was a healthy, complete person in their own right, so when they came together, they clicked in a healthy way. Oh, BTW, complaining about feminism is a red flag in a man. A green flag is a man who says that he likes and supports women.
I am a Man and I approve this message. Spot on. Thank you for your courage, Teal.
I concur 😂
But so then, why don’t men commit even when we treat them so well?
Because the men you are attracting are this way. It's not men, it's your point of attraction... universal laws at work here.
@@BrooklynBaby100 Modern day feminism. The MGTOW movement is there to protect men that's why. Too many cases of false accusations of rape, domestic violence, etc.
Night King > This is a different century from the 50s woman are more Independent and beautiful men see more of a variety of women, but It's their lost if they lose a good woman!
You are 100% correct.
This woman is an international treasure.
As is the man ❤❤
@@Babyduzzit "this woman" He was talking about Teal specifically.
Maybe she is an angel.
As women, we need men and this awesome video reminds us how to communicate this clearly to men. We have all been mislead with ideals of being independent. It’s time to remember we are interdependent and the world is a beautiful place when man and woman work together in harmony to create balance.
Too late. No one likes you anymore and the juice isn’t worth the squeeze
Yes but that’ll take forever or almost impossible to happen
@@maryamdiao1509 That’s because we have been conditioned to see the other as a threat. The work to reverse that has to begin somewhere, by believing it’s possible and it’s necessary.
@@thusharividanagamachchi9779 true but hmmm I wonder why 🤔
@@thusharividanagamachchi9779 Men do see women as a threat now thanks to the 60-70% divorce rate and 80% of divorces being filed by women. The "metoo" movement. Now Millions of men are now homeless, childless, in poverty, suicidal risks, thanks to no fault divorce. I have watched videos of women who are now getting a taste of this equality and having to pay alimony, child support etc. and they suddenly want the laws changed. Go figure.
Told the guy I dated for years I need attention, and he still did not give it. Ima straightforward girl, yet he couldn't handle it. And was opposite, not forward, the manipulator and liar. Some men are just self-centered and selfish, and that is why im no longer with him. This message only applies to men who actually available and committed to being with you. Do not ever think you will change a man. You will only be hurt the long run. Just end it, and move on. don't waste time.
Be straight forward to good men who genuinely love you, never play a man's heart when they genuinely care. Beforehand, test if he actually cares.
Go back to 7:00, replay that whole bit about compatibility a few times
true, I am a selfish men and my ex always wanted attention from me, I hated it, I just want to see a women 2-3 times a month only for sex, thats my nature. I tried to give her more attention, but I wasn‘t me anymore snd didn‘t enjoy it. I look for a girl who doesn‘t want mich attention and is very self focused as well
@@JamesBreitenstein men and man is different. The same with women and woman.
Give them attention and you will be replaced. They want what they do not have.
100% right. Keep spreading this message for the sake of love, marriage, and to help men fulfill their potential and restore the motivation we're born with. We need peace in the home, respect, and to feel valued
What a piece of content, just blown away! Thank you so much for such needed information
It's why I am not interested in dating anymore. Manipulation, passive aggressive signals, demands like a 5year old, having a mood for hours. I don't care for your drama, tell me exactly what and why or find the door. Playing mind games with someone you love is disrespectful. Openness and honesty is what builds connection, trust and respect.
I'm dating but with clear boundaries and have no problem leaving b.s.
@@etiennecfourie777 yeah power to you. I have had a bad experience, and don't feel the reward is worth the effort. Perhaps one day I will.
@@zazethe6553 i feel you but take heart not all them apples is bad . . .
Tell me about it, just had to run from a guy like this 🤭
At some point in life one should know a little (to be kind) of what one wants. And be able to communicate at least that clearly 🤣
Men do this too. A lot.
Being straight forward in this relationship I'm in, and communicating through everything has been so life changing. I've never had such a healthy and close bond with a man, and he appreciates how clear I am in what I need ♡
Your a role model, keep up the good work and example !
There you have it ... you don't need to seek advice from another woman!
I need that.💌
Some women will sabotage this kind of relationship because it doesn’t feel normal. Also, many women don’t feel they deserve a good man.
Just a question, did others teach you to speak indirectly and if so, what was the moral justification? Thanks.
this video and many others by Teal revives my hope for being a man in a relationship and being able to take care of women. Although is a long process, I am gradually getting into the grips of re-learning to take care of women while I am searching for one. The huge number of females that write positively in this video is so heart-warming.
It's great that you try to change and improve your life into sth. good. A lot of people are ignorant and esp. a lot of men or "male/career-women" . It's a miracle to see or talk with someone, esp. with a man who doesn't try to escape from his inner problems by blaming others (staying psychologically in a child role) but who takes responsibility for his life and solves his problems.
Amazing, thank you for the clarity I needed. It's the incompatibility I've been ignoring that ultimately becomes the final straw. I hear you and will rewatch this again.
This is the realest, clearest, most important video I’ve watched in a long time. I really think this video is going to help me in my daily life.
I appreciate that :)
~ a man
This woman is all about balance. She recognizes the benefits and harmfulness of both feminism and masculinism in their different forms.
This is why I believe a third way - humanism - is needed. People have needs that need to be filled. We need roles, but we also need flexibility - life doesn't stay the same, but if all options are valid, none are. We need to be able to be who we are and love who we will. We need safety amd security. We need a common language.
We can't achieve this with gender-supremacist ideologies like redpill or fourth-wave feminism.
@@TheAsvarduilProject👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I am always upfront and honest about what I need and still my needs aren't met. I guess that means that either we are incompatible or he doesn't care about me. Lesson learned. Thank you Teal. Xx
So true.
My wife has told me that she has told me what she needs/wants. But the problem is that it always happens at a time or when I am in a state where I can't remember. I don't want to forget. But I do, adding in ptsd and adhd just makes it that much more difficult. Men also see the wild mixed signals that are sent. I have initiated intimacy when she asked for it and how she asked for it and had her respond as though I was trying to rape her. It didn't make sense to either of us. Women tend to be this flowing wave of beautiful energy, but when you have to surf that wave you can't trust that it will also be this exact wave in this spot.
My wife always draws two pretty dismal conclusions which is some sort of version of I don't care. I can't speak for your partner, but I have a hard time keeping up with the ever changing nature of the feminine. I have learned to sit in the chaos of her being instead of running away. But that is effing hard to do.
It is your nature to push him away to have him show up powerfully. It is his nature to show up powerful... except that especially for gen x men, we have all been beaten and abused for the crimes of our fathers and grandfathers. We carry their sins with us cause we saw how bad they were. And we actually chose to rebel and stop that behavior. But instead of being celebrated. We are beaten down and yeah, we become passive.
If it is important to you that your needs are met, then telling him once or twice is really setting him up for failure. Write it down. Because you might think you are communicating clearly but he is picking up on the ten emotional states you are also communicating and now he has to figure out what is true now, later today and mostly always.
It is worthwhile but don't imagine it's easy for men to be with feminine energy. And probably vice versa. And most of us don't have good role models.
Well, something to consider is self understanding. Another alternative to incompatibility and not caring is demoralization..
For example, if I am responsive literally to the requests.. and am told that it doesn't count because I should have known.. the messages I actually get is, you don't know what you want, I can't trust you.. and trying is worse than doing nothing... instead of feeling good, I feel useless and unappreciated
You gotta pay attention to how you’re expressing your needs. Women have a huge tendency to nagging n complaining unfortunately
What great insightful replies to this lady's comment....well done guys....super helpful!
Manna to my ears. I am a defender of the male, have always been. I love men!
I love their conversation, presence, differences from us and from each other. I love Teal's bright mind and all she says here.
We women need to reclaim our lost wisdom. My mother was weak but my grandmother was strong, I learned much from both.
The art of conversation is lost as well. People, whatever gender, need to talk more.
@Hardy Harhar Exactly
totally
thissssssss in all genders and generations ppl just don't know how to communicate
@@marijagrujicic1370 ya I feel that's due to the cost of conversation has been reduced so much by internet and easy transportation. It's like when we have the chance to communicate anytime with anyone we stop investing in practicing conversing and just change the interlocutor every time the conversations not going well
Everybody want to talk, very few have meaning answers.
The last part of being straight forward is so true. My man always tells me to talk it out coz he ain’t giving up on us. We have to sort it out and tell what’s wrong. He always tells me that he doesn’t wanna know who spoke to me and what jokes I craked at work but instead he wants to know if something went wrong with me during the whole day, if I had any breakdowns or if I ever felt overwhelmed. That’s what he asks me to do and be straightforward about if he is not giving us enough time or if I wanna talk to him, he says that tell me that you wanna talk and it’s his responsibility and his headache to make time. He says that he wants to know if me as his future wife has any issues. He’s happy to fix the issues in him and he does try too.
I love being around masculine men and appreciate their energy very much. ‘Feminism’ has become completely ridiculous. It’s ok that we are different to each other, I can’t do many things he can do and vice versa. Love seeing clips like this, so healthy for everyone. ♥️
what do you mean by "masculine men"? They are just: men (beautiful creatures and everything but masculinity is an invented term and has hurt a lot of them)
@@viviana3666 Search on divine feminine and divine masculine for your answer.
@@viviana3666i think by “masculine men” which is redundant i think she what she meant is self-aware men who are capable of healthy relationships… as opposed to the still blind clueless men running on auto-pilot without any control over their egos… which goes both ways for women too just in different forms it’s displayed as…
@@regularconversation then she should have said that, instead of 'masculine' which is a term everyone has a different opinion about what it is
@@viviana3666wow…are you literally mentally retarded? I’m honestly asking….
You seen to be fighting a thing called….
Reality.
Women have never tried to eradicate masculinity! We're waiting for them to step up to their supposed role.
Finally someone who makes sense on here and preaches exactly what I've been saying for years, that we need eachother and realise that both sides have their strengths and weaknesses
Do us a favor Shame feminists
Exactly!
Well said, totally agree. Have a great day : )
A lot of this I recently learned as a woman who didn’t grow up with a father or any male role models. I needed this and the clarification. Thank you.
I also watch Adrienne Everhart who is an insightful relationship expert and has exceptionally illuminating and useful things to teach for optimal attraction between the sexes. Usually from the female viewpoint, but highly beneficial to all sexes.
@@tiffany-sheriwageman.3702 I promise you, you will be single and alone for all of your days.
Same, girl! Same! ❤
Same here, Amy. It can be difficult to reprogram, but these videos help open my eyes so much.
wow, you just made it click to me that I also did not grow up with any male role models in my life either! And I was wondering why I couldn't figure them out, other than sexually lol. It makes more sense now thank you 😭❤
I love the pauses for dramatic effect, gives me goosebumps
I love how direct you are with everything, and also the fact that you are educating people on things that actually are going to help them a lot, I also agree with the things that you are talking about in here, we love feeling that we are needed by females or feeling that we are useful for them.
I actually like when a man opens the car door for me or any other act of kindness. Chivalry can be very attractive.
It was kiled.
@@saltytroter6966 indeed
@@saltytroter6966 I don't think you can blame that on women. There are other factors in our society that affects the consciousness of people. Outside influences like Television and controlled movements. I highly recommend the doc. Century of the Self.
@@saltytroter6966 and it's not coming back before women start to act like ladies. These modern thots don't even deserve any chivalry.
I love that! Not many men like that
As a man all I can say is....wow...a lot of this answers some questions about traits I have...I love the informative structure you used to approach this, thank you.
@BladeRnR10 Actually, there is nothing more sickening than a Distorted Masculine ( or Distorted Feminine for that matter) with an unchecked shadow who enjoys trolling and contributing to the current divisions in our society.
Hello fellow man. How do?
I love that men watch this :-)
xkissofdeathtashax no it wants to demolish the masculine, we need people to find themselves instead of looking to be in a group
@@NCardude the destruction of intimacy is effective, i am male but have experienced many female past lives. One past live was bith genders, we are one until we are divided. The slave master is equally enslaved.
Amazing video, as a man I appreciate and applaud you in the message you are delivering for both sexes. I believe the only way to heal society is for each sex to step into their truth and hold the other sex in the highest part of themselves.
She speaks very truthfully, which is why I love to hear her thoughts on society.
Men also need passion, direction, life values & an understanding of themselves. We live in the information age where the constant bombardment of BS 'information' , distorted imagery of life and what life really is confuses men. They no longer really know what they represent. Very few people self analyse and therefore don't really know their 'true' selves...
yes but you don't need a woman to have that. you can find that out for yourself. and when you have a woman, you can tell her how you want her to support you in the existing passion, direction, etc. that you already have.
@@jedilady4485 Totally agree. There are many things I don't understand about society. One thing that particularly springs to mind when thinking about this topic is the whole 'pickup' and 'dating' scene. This comes as a result of looking outwardly, thinking a relationship provides solutions & makes us 'complete'. In actual fact I've come to discover that having a deep relationship with ourselves brings both a strength and vulnerability. It is through this that we understand our true selves and our true nature. It through this that we can all, both men and women, can give ourselves truly...
@CV B you have to remember men have this one big weakness. Never to be seen as weak. I am supposed to be strong in always and in all forms. Mentally, physically, and even spiritally. We hear this from men(fathers growing up) and women. Especially later in life.
So showing weakness like asking for help is hard for us to admit and even do. The men like myself who do seek to heal things broken in ourselves can only do this in two ways. One is if the go MIA and do it in solitude. Tell no one because in truth we won't get real support. Only negative.
What they get is pressure and constant questioning like how is it going? You over that yet? You got your crap together now? Similar like you women who are single and being peppered on who you dating or when you getting married? Why are you single? Whats wrong with you?
This is the same feeling for a man trying to find himself or heal. So men usually act like nothings wrong with him and shows a strong face. The second way is for him to do self healing by being pushed into a corner, by usually a spouse and family. Not in attacking his manhood now. That will never work. He would have to admit something is wrong. Much like a intervention. These only work if a relationship is about to end or losing the family is eminent. Not threats mind you.Those ghost shows illustrate this perfectly.
The family is in danger (from the ghost or demon) or he could lose them. That forces him to feel powerless and want do all he can to fix the situation. I would suggest when trying to get a man to change you would have to speak in this way maybe. "Honey I dont feel safe. We both have things broken in us. I scared I will lose you and then I will lose us. I can't bear that. We both have to heal and be better. If I can't for you or you can't for me we should seperate. I love you so much."
Any other blameful way you tell him to get help won't work. You have to remember all men get that constant message of be a man. Be strong yet open up and show your feelings. We can't easily change easily from one to another usually. Ok this went way longer then I wanted. I hope you understand some what I mean.
@S I second CVB, Dr. Peterson is a phenomenal speaker for the adult-manager-main fragment of men that need to develop confidence, survive, and hopefully thrive, but he speaks little to the things men often don't realize they need: the space to know you as men, as a part of humanity, and as a necessity to life you need time to know that you are not just appreciated for what you do, but for who you simply are. You need to heal like women nee to heal emotionally, you don't have to rush success, take action of course, but when the doors open for you to flow into the next stages. Take time to truly develop your self, for you, and also don't be afraid of unconditional love, commitments, and the rotation of needs that may come forward from within you. Communication is key, and not assuming that a handful of comments are the only ones in the world. There are humanistic people on all sides of the spectrum who want to see you thrive and want to let you know their frustrations too: the human experience is anecdotal and that's important as it is practical.
@SWhat is overlooked in our society is mental strength. The depiction of strength in society, in films, is inaccurate. It is in fact through vulnerability, set backs and challenges in our lives that our true strength, our true courage can be unlocked. This is true for both men and women. A strong man is in touch with his vulnerability. It is then that we discover who we truly are and what we are truly capable of. In society have a habit of internalising challenges and setbacks and seeing them as negative. As a pain. In actual fact these are opportunities for us to discover more about ourselves and our capacity as an individual and species..
I spent a couple of decades giving ‘space’ which was ultimately incompatibility. Hard lesson. It’s easy to ignore when you meet really young thinking there’s room to grow. Sadly, growth doesn’t always happen especially when requests, working out of agreements, directly asking etc are perceived as criticism. Sometimes dudes are not interested in relating.
The truth, spoken after years of misguided resentment at a gender.
Thank you.
Never stop spreading this message. We need to hear it to heal the toxic divide between genders❤️
This is so on point. Both videos. Many thanks. Much love.
I’m a man, and you put it so … correct. I feel like a nag, cause my frequent complaint is “you will easily tell me where I’m going wrong or come short, but you never compliment me”. And the passive aggressive leaves me going “what did I do?????!”. Now I’m off to watch ‘The Divine Masculine’. Love your work! 🙏
I love men being men, instinctively true and strong with their partner.. Men need to be needed, validated and accepted for who they are...
Kindness and respect for each other's differences and realize we are perfect as we are...
Not if they are a sshles hahaha
I don't date, been about 7 years. My husband passed 14 years ago. I tried to date.
Men I felt were to good for me, my life was a MESS after husband died. I couldn't in good conscience even date. Some were on drugs! I TRIED TO FIX THEM. 🙄
I want to be in a relationship but can't. I'm 60 in pretty good shape. The men my age are heading to nursing home looking for a care giver! 🙄
I'm a natural care giver so it's been VERY hard to say, I'm sorry I can't. That is mind numbing work...I'm TIRED, damn it. I just do hobbies and I'm good!
People are lucky who find mates... appreciate what you got. Even if he's like having another child, as long as he is being responsible!
If only it were that easy. Sounds beautiful.
ohhhh so tell me this, are women strong?
are women true?
are women not perfect when they are independent?
What is instinctively true and strong?
@@dellashibu6376 nothing is for sure. Not all men all go getters. Not all woman are go getters. Hopefully someone is a go getter in the family.
People rather be on drugs then stand up to the plate... everyone is SO MISERABLE THEY HAVE TO SELF-MEDICATE. OR SO UPTIGHT THEY NEED TO MEDICATE! 🤷
Hey when you find out let me know. 😁
I always say. Happy happy happy! I'm grateful, I'm blessed and I'm going to do what's necessary for my family!
Utterly incredible
I’ve been saying this for so long… this pendulum effect that’s happening.
Everything you said was perfection
Thank You
I hope all men and women find this video 🙏🏽
she's right, and a ton of women would benefit from hearing this.
I need my man and I'm not afraid to admit. We need each other. There's things that I can't do that he can, and things that I can do that he can't. Thanks Teal for the info, I can be a better partner! ❤️
"Your spouse will be a child as well." #DEAD
That explains why I have a half older brother, half older sister.. and I'm the only child of my mother and father's current marriage.. My mom is SUPER independent and critical.. and she previously got with my sister's dead beat dad that made her clean the house and pay the bills.. and my brother's dad who cheated on her with multiple women.. My dad (her current spouse) is super nice and has a high vibration.. but at times he can be a doormat and just lets her do what she wants. He sometimes complains about my mom not taking him seriously.. Toxic feminism can turn out to be a SERIOUS mess when there is no balance in a relationship...
(I'm saying this to inform people of how important balance is and to respect the position of the opposite sex, and to respect yourself to attract the same kind of respect.. but not putting your sex on a pedestal.)
@@nikkinorman4254 for a ballanced man his home is a sanctuary, not a dojo.
Forbiding arguments at home or "ritualizing" them (ie argumenting while taking a walk) can helps communicating.
She's right tho
@@nikkinorman4254sounds like you're blaming your mother's first two baby-daddies for being deadbeats, but failing to blame your mother for choosing them as the fathers of your half-siblings to begin with.
It takes two to tango, so while I agree 100% that they were deadbeats, where was her accountability when she was spreading her legs for those deadbeats? Women have all the authority when it comes to reproductive rights, so they bear all the responsibility to not let crappy men into their bodies in the first place.
As for your father, sounds like you're mother is the "user/abuser" in that relationship, but now your father's not happy but would have to chop his leg off to get away from her because legal system is so biased against men...which Teal alluded to right in this video.
Damn, she actually gets it. Ladies take note of what Ms Swan is saying here because it’s facts. Men must feel needed or we will find somewhere else that we’re needed. We know you can open the jar lid, but ask us to. It’s simple stuff like that, and add a cooked meal from time to time and make sure to initiate intimacy with your man because women are in control of sex and who’s having it, but men are in control of marriage. Just automatically know that if you have a normal man that he wants to have sex often so just know so initiate the sex because it’s absolutely crushing to any man when they’re denied sex from the women they love. Work on these three things and you’ll find yourself in the longest committed relationship that you’ve ever been in lol.
Yes! Thanks for giving the men their power back without losing any bit of our female strength. Well said. I am fortunate to be in a male/female partnership where we both bring our personal strengths to each other and accept where we each need support.
Feel like i can breathe. Toxic masculinity, i had to walk on eggshells to be who i am. Questioning everything. What a relief to watch this
❤️❤️
Can you explain what you mean by that? Like, what perspective did you have/how did you feel prior to this video, and how do you feel about it now/how did your perspective shift? (I'm trying to understand this from different perspectives~)
@@apollofateh324 hmm I'll try. Bear in mind, my English is pretty bad. To understand the reason why this video was such a relief, i must tell you that it wasn't from a change of perspective as what are male's roles in society , it was from learning that some women do acknowledge the mistakes that they made on the male species especially by the feminists. The good thing from that movement is we get to listen what caused their pain so we could learn not to do it BUT, that movement was so loud in forcing changes, it crossed the boundaries of how males are naturally, generally wired. It wanted male to behave like females and abandoned what males needed in order to function healthily. We don't manifest physically the same because psychologically we have different structures and fibres. Since the main core of our soul is to fulfill the role of protecting women, I was walking on eggshells to not be in my whole masculinity form just because i didn't want to cause pain on women, especially women that matter to me. So it was a disastrous phase, having to betray myself when deep down I clearly knew, what should be done but i suppressed it because many women said it was toxic. So when a woman, in this case Ms Swan, addressed and acknowledged the differences between these two genders, i felt relieved because finally i could stop listening to many ridiculous loud females and focus on the truth.
@@adnaine536 well said 🙂 Extreme feminism takes things too far and what they're trying to achieve is pointless, to say the least. It's so wonderful to see the kindness of man when he holds the door for a woman and nice gestures like those. All women love it, including feminists (despite what they say). When men have these nice gestures, it doesn't mean that they are seeing a woman as fragile or dependent. It's just a nice thing to do for each others. Simple!! Us women need to stop being dramatic with these things. Life is complicated as it is, why complicate more?
I'm very happy that you don't feel the need to conceal anymore of what you think is best. Wish you well sir ☺️
Being in your feminine energy will automatically allow him to be in his masculine energy. It’s not something we have think about.
No, it wont
nah I agree n there is both positive negative of all genderenergy
nah I agree n there is both positive negative of all genderenergy
If he’s the right man it should be natural flowing. You don’t have to try so hard to be someone you’re not. Some women are not naturally feminine, some women aren’t. Some men are naturally feminine, some men aren’t. You must understand yourself to understand what you want and need in a man.
Yes completely! Masculine is attracted to feminine and vice versa. Masculine men do not want masculine women
You Definitely hit the nail on the head with this one. Alot of the things you said are so true.
Teal, it's wonderful to hear from someone like u with such great & moderate presentation.
Men & women are not equal, we play different roles & need each other. The world we live in today...too much polarity going on... U saw what was coming, Teal. U know what damage can be done when the pendulum swings too highh
i came here for
Better Bachelor
She even used his “Shocking” line, albeit not as drawn out the way he does.
@@Acid_Ink I think she watches Better Bachelor on a regular basis !
I think Teal is right about guys who do the pump and dump or nut and bolt (basically PUAs). They're traumatized in a way that they need to be in a dominant role. These guys derive their self-worth from the number of women they have sex with. Not healthy for a guy really.
@Ahmed B I have been thinking about this for the last few days. I hear that men want a high sex count beacuse they believe that women think that is attractive, which it isn't. It just depends on that person. I have yet to hear from men or women that said their current partner told them how many people they slept with was hot.
Most people men and women will judge their partner negatively if they have a high count, this is from hear from friends, though.
@@medviation men usually do the bag and drag because they've come to the conclusion that ultimately, relationships will end the same way and is not worth giving it a go.
Just look at how hard they fall when a woman eventually gets through to them.
Man, this woman knows what she’s talking about!
You are 💯 correct. I thought I was a lesbian for 20 years because I was brainwashed by the feminist movement. Thank god I woke up at 40 and have been with a wonderful, masculine, confident, competent man for the last 5 years ❤❤
Teal Swan bring back Yin and Yang into relationships. And a reminder of the importance of direct communication of our wants and needs. ❤️
except in her little cult of adoration, she uses men for sex and then throws them away, is what I read.
It's nice to see women like yourself come out of the woodwork defending our dads and ourselves, and my heart is touched.
I was raised to be independent and strong, among other things. Now I'm 37 and trying to figure out my feminity. I met the man of my dreams three years ago, and almost ruined it because I didn't understand the very concepts Teal is breaking down. I'm having to, and want to, NEED TO, learn...not to mention how I recognize my ways in my daughter...I love content like this, it is life changing. Thank you to everyone involved.
great job with the advice......i think im going to review this a couple of times...
An excellent video! Men want to feel needed, women need to feel wanted. Yes, it really is that simple! Men indeed are not mind readers, and this man personally greatly appreaciates a woman that can communicate her wants and needs directly. Thank you.
My EXACT thoughts!!
Men want to be wanted too. If they merely need us like an addict needs his next fix, then it doesn’t really matter if they want us. They could hate us, and still need us. For example if you don’t know how to self-validate and constantly rely on your man to remind you that you are worthy and lovable, then your self esteem is dependent on the man’s presence in your life. He could be a cheater and abuser but none of that matters, you need him. You literally don’t have the power to walk away.
Amen finally a man who knows how to be a man
Beautifully said!!!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
i would love to be in a society where we can say anything what we really feel (in a decent way) and be vulnerable! it is actually much easier, there is more freedom and clarity that way.
We can start a world like that by being honest in all possible situations! We can show other people how awesome life is when you speak from you heart. I do my best to always speak the truth even when it isn't recieved well. I like to think that the medicine has a delayed reaction. Maybe the people I interact with will think about how healthy and happy I looked when I spoke my truth. I am trying to learn how to not be too blunt though, because some people make me angry without trying, so I should confirm with them what their intentions are before I release my anger. I wonder what the proper and healthy way to express anger would look like?
Unless you’re a man, this is impossible. Women only care about their own feelings.
@@georgestobbart4894 Then that woman is not meant for you! On the other hand there is always a nicer/chill way to express yourself. The one who understands what you are is the woman for you.
Would be nice. However modern women have grown an unfair vindication against men. I've seen countless stories of false accusations against men ruining their lives by women. Even saw a news story of a 19 year old guy being arrested for merely, accidentally brushing up against a 17 year old girl.
It's hard to trust women these days. I'm just thankful I found one who isn't mentally warped in misandry.
Jedi Lady Yeah sure, just not found the right one lol that old chestnut. Nah.
Incredibly useful information and point of view
I appreciate your clarity!
Just WOW!!
I’m that independent, strong, “I got it” girl who married a man-child. 🤦♀️
Yup
@@njkok Same. I'd rather be single all my life.
Sucks to suck
Me too lol
When men don’t do anything, then do you do it or live in a trash can. No thank you. I can do it myself and know that it is done. If not, aren’t we called a nag. They can sit in their egos.
I started this expecting to hate it but, damn
This was really well and thoughtfully put together. You're an intelligent and astute woman and I really appreciate your take on this concept.
why did you have such an expectation in the beginning?
@@abusafoura6594 3rd wave femenism
I absolutely Love this!
The analogy of race car vs van and tuning with reading of the minds or passive aggressive was spot on.
You really do understand us! Thank you so much!
This is soooo accurate. All my hurt involving men and father figure has led me to the man-hating mentality, which is just the other extreme of the codependent relation with male figures. Such a huge shadow. Damn.
I'm so sorry ure feeling this way. It's not your fault. Society is misogynistic and patriarchal. Everyone hates women :(
I'm interested to understand how being man-hating... Converted into you entering a codependent relationship. On the surface, that doesn't make sense. But I feel a truth to it... But I can't quite grasp it.
If you see this, I'd very much appreciate it if you could expand on this a bit.
Thanks.
@@breakingthemasks it’s the opposite, the codependent relationships led me to the men hating mentality ;) which is not healing at all, is just the other extremity
@@saraand8787 ... Ahh... Gotcha.
That makes a lot more obvious sense.
Thanks for clarifying.
@@saraand8787 Same. My dad didn't have a good father figure and thus did the basics of what you'd expect a father to be. And when i wanted more attention from him that I felt I lacked, and even pursued a couple of times, it always seemed like he couldn't deal with me or that he was too busy. It led me to think the codependency i see with my mom, who sometimes gets frustrated with this, as something to avoid when looking for men. It made me crave male attention more, looking for passive types that would make me feel loved and looked after. And the rest of that you can probably understand after watching this video.
This knowledge will probably save me a lot of lonely years. Thank you, Teal.
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves.
This is complete nonsense.
angie weathers most men come here to see the in inaccuracies of the video and laugh at the stupid replies of women who still don’t get it
@@polyphonicmonkey9797 As a man I can only agree with you
Bravo Teal! This was great. I think you should make a documentary on the subject.
this is everything I needed to hear. things I have been thinking about, but not really able to articulate. thanks for bringing clarity to this subject.
Also, Kasia Urbaniak calls it "good girl conditioning". That "I don't need anything," attitude that is really a fear to ask for what you truly want and need.
urgh. i agree being able to ask for help is important at times but pretending to be dependent or being completely dependent on men is also wrong. MEN NEVER DO THAT and that pride and confidence along with dependence from women gives them power.
@@dellashibu6376 Men do that all the time. Many men are searching for Mommy. Someone to be their brain for them so they don't have to make decisions or take responsibility. This is a problem with many men that I have met. Try being a woman for a year and you'll see it much more clearly. Men are not immune to co-dependancy.
@@ViolaVoltairine urgh. SO TRUE 😒
@@ViolaVoltairine all the time really? clearly u have a type u are chasing or attracting. but i have to admit, some men can be codependent. But still most men including some of codependent ones have no shortage in reasonless pride/confidence or arrogance/toxic masculinity.
Exhibit A: Married man depending on wife for all his needs and wants. wife does chores, works, care for kids, Still he probably thinks he runs the home. Meanwhile the lady is trained and told to think she is weaker and incapable of survival without this man who brings nothing to the table in terms of relationship.
*The point i was trying to make in earlier comment seems to skip ur biased brain so ill repeat it ->Men in general, never pretend to be lesser than human or women, to find a female spouse Yet this video advices women to do so in some way or the other. They dont hold back at office either. And All the men in the comment section is happy about it and even women too. Its not about whether there are men capable of it or not, they arent TOLD or EXPECTED to do so to find a partner. So, peabrain, as a women, my question to the world is, why are women expected or told to do so?*
Why is this video trying to condition women to behave a certain way that has only the merit of making men/man happy while it chips away at a woman's core.
Change is hard and slow. But it doesnt mean it should be stopped. When all woman rise to their full potential(in career&personal) in their own terms. Uphold their own standards while choosing partners, Men WILL Follow suit by appreciating it, normalizing it, accepting it and maybe even expecting it. They will adapt to the new normal (househusbands/sharing resposibities of home,child care equally/not expecting female spouse to give up career as a norm after marriage/ proper discussions between spouses to give weight to both individuals needs and wants/ more voice for women at home in financial planning ) and they should.
This is how progress is made. NOT by Holding on to outdated shitty thoughts, propogating them, validating them online with help of old timers and men afraid of change.
Go gender equality!!!!! Dont hold back ladies show him ur full selves. Confident, Happy, Capable. And tell him "I got it" when u dont need help and if he isnt intimidated/upset -> go for it.😊.
Stay away from men looking for easily manipulatable weak women/girls. Stay away from men looking for masculinity validation from women. Stay away from Insecure and overconfident men. Run away from men who expects you to be less than what you are capable of to make them happy cuz if roles were reversed they wouldnt even dream of making the same sacrificea for u.
@@dellashibu6376 Exactly my experience
YES!!! I grew up with all brothers, so I guess I missed out on "nice girl training" and am as straightforward as possible, without sounding like a jerk. My husband loves it. I am actively teaching my boys and girls to be more direct with their wants and needs.
Me too! My mom was also very blunt and honest. I was taught to be loving but to always say what needed to be said and to do so without a lot of vague talk. I have sons, as well as my husband, and I have to be absolutely clear about everything with them. They think and hear and process very differently than me and even with the directness we miss each other and misunderstand. lol
Women are naturally delightful and are most beautiful when they are authentically themselves. One of the issues is a lot of women compare themselves to other women desiring their qualities which takes away from their own attractive unique expression from shining through and letting the right man who's compatible and wants such a woman to recognize her. A healthy masculine man doesn't care if you as a woman are talented, popular, wealthy, independent etc...just do the inner work to sit in your femininity and your natural qualities and unique expression will come through and be appreciated by someone who values just that!
Teal Swan is a genius of modern times. She totally understands the psychological and emotional dynamics of human relationships. Listening to her is a breath of fresh air and so insightful. Wow!
She's articulate. I don't think she knows the Lord, though.
realizing i’ve been taught to do all the wrong things is a little horrifying in this current moment! thanks for opening my eyes to what i’ve been doing
Damn. We need this video on every screen
thirsty hearts finds source them self,
I love your job Why Do You Need Women?
*Damn. This woman needs to lose weight.*
@@bombislamdotcom I have a strong feeling that you are watching the wrong video. In fact I'm not sure that you are actually watching it.
Don't need them at all really, in fact life gets easier without them in it.
@@Twisted86 And how do you achieve life without women? You plan moving on Mars? cause on this planet you will be bumping into them either way, you don't actually need a wife or a girlfriend, but maybe a co-worker or a sister. Even if you lock yourself and work from home for the rest of your life, your biology alone still dictates your need for the opposite sex. And even if society's so-called correctness is dividing and conquering us in so many ways, unless we are psychopaths (which I am sure most of us are not) we are still better together.
Love the content!
Was looking for video titled "the divine masculine", but couldn't found it...
so.... I don't know how I ended up here, but you actually make some fantastic points, and you are an extremely clear speaker (a luxury nowadays). Great job!!