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He's not trying to be in a physical relationship on the earth plane. He's utilizing online content as practice exercises, or Rorshach tests, or a laboratory, for the emotional exploration of intimate relationships in a future possible reality.
I always thought my thing of only being able to be authentic was my downfall until I found someone who liked that about me. She's my wife now, and we've never been happier. If you can't be completely vulnerable with your partner then it's not worth it
I’ve been married to my wife for 43 years. To me the secret to a happy marriage relationship is. Meet weekly for a meeting to Discuss what yours and her needs are. Listening to and seeing and understanding what each person needs. Oh and BTW. She hunted me. Everywhere I went she happened to be there. Shes still with me everyday ❤. Food style changes every few years in a lasting relationship ❤ my avatar photo is me in 1980 I was 25 years old. Im 70 years old now. We are still holding hands and we both chase each other. I’m a lucky man 😎
Feel comfortable in a bed with whom I'm with, to ask her questions and be intimate literally with her. In that time she can confess "her boundaries," and I'll let her know I can have more than one female "partner" at anytime because I'm working on holistic medicine and if my means benefit - all things can be healed.
Why is that said about men specifically (the title) and not just about people? In my experience, women are at least as likely as men to put on an act until the partner is committed. After all, "I married her, and then she changed completely" is a well-known story, but "I married him and then he changed completely" isn't as common.
To establish a secure relationship, present your most authenitc self from the beginning and start as the person that you can continue to be forever. Don't create an overlay as it may cause many problems down the line. Attract with what is real about you. Show all of who you are. Represent your true self.
The advice "just be yourself" is actually good advice, and the problem with it is not the "be yourself" part, it is the "just" part Being yourself actually takes a lot of courage and even practise, and most people go around not really being themselves. So being yourself is actually an accomplishment, not the default position, for most people
All true! I was trapped in the idea I had to have "game" and watched videos of those kinds of "men" until I realized that none of them work because I was sabotaging myself subconsciously because I am extremely authentic by nature but at the time I didn't realize consciously that I had to play a character. Long story short, I stopped playing games and now I've met the love of my life, as authentic as myself. Guys I can't stress this enough, BE YOURSELF and improve yourself and eventually you will reach The Promised Land.
It's false. Those "men" are the visible 5% Chads and Tyrons all women are lusting for. And they treat them like s...t because they are bad boys and pump and dump them in series. Then women complain all men are like that because they are blind to the 95% of men. Instead of wondering why they opened their legs to the wrong guy and friendzoned all the good men they pretend all men are trash. Enough.
@@kurtvanluven9351watch the video again. Did you actually pay attention to the woman and who she was and did you ever ask yourself WHY you were attracted to her. Check with your subconscious presets first to see if you actually loved her for HER or was only attracted to her, built an image in your head about her and then found the hard truth? Women are guilty of this too, of course. Alot of us fall for an illusion of a person we create in our minds. Games only make that illusion worse, obviously.
It happened to me too only the gender shoes were reversed. Women hide who they are too if they desire you. It is more of a beggar versus chooser dynamic than a male and female thing. When we are young men are far more likely to be beggars except the top 5% of men who are hyper-privileged. Women have most of the social power up until 30 years old than the dynamic slowly changes but never reverses. Some women never catch on that they are less desirable as they age and they end up bitter and angry often because some highly desirable men just used them. In no place is this worse than with online dating where a "2" woman can date an "8" man for a week or two until he gets what he wants or decides he isn't going to get it so he ghosts. I'm not being judgmental because as a guy if super hot women paid attention to me I would likely ignore the women at my station too. A wise woman finds out her station and finds similar men that will make her happy longer term. This not something easy to do, especially with political correctness that denies levels of desirability. It would be great if men and women were rated in desirability by the online programs perhaps using an AI as women rate men very harshly with the average around "2".
Yeah I've been love bombed by many women. The main flavour of women I spent my late teens with were girls already in relationships with guys 😂 the usual way they'd end would be "you're a player, I'm falling in love with you so I'm going to stop seeing you 😂" yet they were the ones playing and I was just a single dude that was a piece of meat to them. ❤❤❤
I've been the man who "hunted" women I wasn't even compatible with. That ended in pain for everyone involved. I've also been the man who neglected someone that I was compatible with after hunting them. Then losing them...That was the pain that lead me to start thinking about these things on a deeper level so that I can change my paradigms in relationships. It seems like there may be some personal pain behind this for you. If so, I'm sorry for your pain. May the futures we weave be brighter with the wisdom we gain. Thank you for the video.
I can relate to this message. I think part of the 'error' is in the idea of 'conquest' and 'achieving' or 'getting' a woman. But once you 'have' her, what is left? The thrill of the hunt is gone. And that's why we (or at least I) have to focus on deeper connection than just the aquisition of a new relationship or dopamine hit of a successful conquest. Then the true journey begins.
THe best person to date is one who does shadow work and cares about everyone having a broader view on everyone and everything. That doesn't exclude the possibility of that happening but Id say the odds will decrease. I am a man and I see this pattern closer than me than I wanted to. We men must set the example and be authentic. Thanks for the wisdom Teal
Yep, that's me. The hunt is more exiting than to be in relationship, and of course, because the relationship is not compatible in the first place and im having to adopt a persona that is not real, or deal with the friction of being authentic. It's hell for me and for her. It's not happening again. Thanks Teal.
If only men dedicated that level of energy and commitment towards something beneficial for the world. 😂 I wish you best of luck in stopping and reversing this pattern! I know it can be hard to change something so ingrained. You got this! No one deserves to be played with and tossed aside, wondering what they did wrong.
@@ksy4747 thats a cool idea, redirecting that focus on getting amazing projects off the ground, give them to someone to maintain them and start the next project
@@ksy4747getting into a relationship with a woman and potentially having children with her *is* an important benefit to the world. On some level, it is the most important and fundamental aspect of our lives as humans. Male hormones and thinking patterns drive them to seek out women with an extreme priority. As we see from pick up artists, red pill types etc., men are more than willing to change their entire personality to cater towards attracting women. Whatever men perceive women as wanting, they will try to become that thing. Women like men with wealth and status? Men bust their asses to gain status and wealth via their career choice. Women like men who are risk takers? Men choose riskier jobs. Women like dominant men? Men will choose/attempt to act more dominant. There are no guarantees that these things will work- but it is quite remarkable the sheer level that men's perception of what women desire drives their behavior on a subconscious level. Cities have been built, nations razed, people slaughtered and amazing advancements have been achieved all because on some level men thought these things would elevate them in the eyes of women. We humans are incredibly intelligent and crafty- yet we are still animals. We just have very complex mating rituals.
@@ksy4747the guys who are really into their purpose and mission in life don’t have the time to be talking to many women. I don’t have the mental bandwidth for it
@pada5992 that's also a manifestor type in human design (that's me lol). We are the initators. So yeah, it would be cool bc from personal experience, I'm good at starting things, but have extreme hard time finishing them.
This happened to me with my ex, he was completely different once we were in a committed relationship. Hence why we broke up. I am so grateful that my husband was being authentic from the beginning, we are now married with a baby and he is exactly the way he was and I have relationship security with the fact that he is being himself.
You are right. My exhusband was one way, Before I married him. Then he changed after we got married. I felt I was married to a stranger. And I filed for divorce. Because he was not the man I fell in love with. Now I understand why he did this. Thank you Teal for this video.
Ask around, and you’ll find out that every male friend you know saw right through him from the very start. Men detect BS in other men in minutes. Women go decades because women want to be lied to. Women want to be lied to because it absolves them of responsibility for choosing losers and abusers over and over again.
I did this approach of awthenticy and found out that the overwhelming amount of people men and women are looking for a scapegoat or a parent. Men want mothers and women want daddy, up to the point of maturity then is all about status and keeping up with the Joneses. (just too many main charterers and pride and not enough empathy and communication.)
That's an interesting observation. I do find it ironic how the human mind creates illusions, and that when we fall for someone, we create a phantom in our mind. We don't actually see the person in front of us, and instead, we create something that isn't real. When dating men, I noticed that the majority project an image onto me because they don't actually see me. Ironic, since most of these dim wits don't even know what they want because they are so inauthentic! I think the illusion or the phantom only serves to heal a wound, for example, pursuing a partner to keep up with the Joneses, is stemming from an ego issue. Shadow work is important because we are then not looking to fix ourselves through the attainment of being with someone. Perhaps these men who engage in the hunt want the prize to fix something within and are delusional; what they really ought to do is work on themselves before hurting a load of people. Just imagine what the world would be like if people were to redirect that energy into creating positive change, that would be healing for all.
Once I realized that men do this I was very disappointed. It was a sober reality check. I realized that most men aren’t concerned about compatibility or what’s in the best interest of their partner. What they’re concerned about is getting an object of entertainment & pleasure to fulfill a role in their lives. And since they’re very visual, their perception of who best fits that role is skin-deep. That’s when I woke up to the fact that that’s what happened in my previous marriage and relationships. The men who told me they loved me were merely ‘in love’ with winning the trophy and the perceived win in fulfilling their needs. They were in love with how I looked, how I made them feel, or how I made them look to others. Unfortunately, I see it in so many men now, it’s become seemingly impossible to ever find real love. 😢 Thanks for the video. We need more awareness of this issue.
I believe my husband did this as well. I actually had this realization about a year ago. We’ve been together for 15 years and have 5 children together. Once we were married, he just seemed to switch into a different mode. While before, dates were elaborate and well thought out (blocking off an entire private section of a nice restaurant, across the street from a view I’ve always loved and surprising me with my favorite flowers being delivered to the restaurant before we arrived etc) to dates abruptly ending. I reached the point where I was begging him for dates, and he was saying that if dates were so important to me, I should plan them myself because he doesn’t care. I told him the dates could be free. We could simply go for a walk through the neighborhood together. I’ve asked him probably 50 times to go on a walk with me, and he said yes once, only because I cried. He used to make little thoughtful gifts me, like buying stickers and decorating a contact case for me, writing me poems etc. And then once married, all gifts ended. Nothing for Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, nothing. We’ve come a long way in the past few months, so I have hope. But he most definitely put on an elaborate act to get me to marry him. And he kept it up for a Long time. He dropped the act on our honeymoon. I’m now in love with how great of a father he is and with his potential to be what he used to be. It’s honestly soul crushing. He only speaks to me because I begged for years, telling him how important it is to me that we have deep conversations like we used to. And for what it’s worth, I never stopped trying. I treat him with love, I sleep with him passionately, I stay looking fit for him and cook amazing meals from scratch etc. So yeah, I feel you. It’s very very difficult to reckon with 💔
This is perhaps one of the finest distillation of why seeking the truth from within is so critical before one attempts to connect externally. It is so common for the initial phase of a relationship to be built upon an illusion. Consciousness is and honesty with one’s self is an absolute requirement for a real long term commitment. It’s requisite from both parties. Knowing the “Toad” within and being honest about it always is perhaps the best means to prevent one from pretending they are only a prince. Well done video. Concise and truth. Cheers.
For anyone who is interested in why there are men that can be like this, it’s because those men have been socialized in a way where they feel as if they are unlovable for who they really are. You can have compassion for yourself.
@@Aspire705well said. And often people are just being 'nice' when they wish you well, and sometimes them being 'nice' is actually just BS and they are just saying things to make you feel better instead of telling you what they really think (i.e. not helpful). And when people are being nice they don't necessarily follow it up with action or tangible support when and how you need it. In other words, it is just empty words, and that is how a lot of women try to communicate this message to men - with words and not actions, which is what you just said (in fewer words too lol). And so guys get the message that - in theory - other people support and love them but their experience is of being left to deal with things alone and unsupported, while occasionally hearing words of hypothetical support
I've never heard Teal Swan present an argument or discussion that failed to impress me. Theirs so much respect here ❤. At this point in our history it's so badly needed.
@@psychowolf99 well in all these years I haven't been able to find someone who wants to date me so I'll just stick to having good friends and family instead of romance
Spot on! There is so much content on tricks and techniques and not enough encouragement of inner work to actually BE the person who is desirable. So many masks and characters instead of authentic embodiment. That's such a problem
Caze they are scared af. It's insane fear of being vulnerable and intimate. Insecurities at their loudest. Makes the men look weak, too (in my mind at least).
I don't know about that, I think there is plenty of material for inner work for men, it just depends on what you look for. But you're not wrong, there is a lot of material about tips on how to successfully 'hunt' for a woman
@@thecurrentmoment Of course it exists. I didn't say healthy information didn't exist. But I do think the gimmicks tend to outshine the healthy content
Teal really should at least add this caveat. By failing to do so, it certainly seems like she things women are not prone to be inauthentic, which we all know is totally wrong.
I have 2 exes with BPD/Autism, it feels like with them it's reversed. They present an extreme version of their authentic self which often gets taken advantage of by people. But when someone actually truely loves that version of them, they put toxic walls up and hide their authenticity. To then convince you that that first version was just 'honeymoon phase' and this toxic version is truely who they are. And when you figure them out, it only gets worse. I was incredibly in love with my last girlfriend, and her authentic self was a perfect match with me. But she was always too scared to take the jump and kept going back into avoidance. Trauma is a hell of a thing, tragic love story.
I read that first sentence as BPD being same as Autism. If that is how you meant it, -that is quite wrong. They are two very different possible ways for the brain to form; with the others being the other personality disorders and neuro-typical, which is "normal".-
How do you know they were wrong when they said that it was just at a "honeymoon phase" and not their authentic self? And how can you tell what is truly authenticly them and what is not?
@@LucyBullwhip I was basing it on the idea that both are actually a result of brain formation over that is just personality. I do still question if co-morbidity can show in the brain scans that I was working from. I did see that there are a lot of examples of being diagnosed with both.
I've been there and done that and can attest that this video's message is 💯 legit. There is no better advice than be yourself, be authentic, be honest. Thankyou Teal that's 💥
”The behaviors you displayed in order to get into a relationship, are the very behaviors that will keep that relationship good once you are in it, those are the behaviors to which they said “yes, I want to be in a relationship with this” specifically by getting into that relationship with you”. Teal Swan 🌎 thank you Teal 😘
Basically , men sell women stories they WANT to buy , so if the story doesn’t sound familiar they never going to buy it and men know this , so the hunting is always successful for the man who knows how to shape-shift .
Lately I’ve become conscious of my previously subconscious bait and switch behavior, i know this video is about men but it definitely gave me insight of “daaang I do that, too.” Becoming aware of our patterns truly is only hope for changing them 😭
Example: “I’m a chill girl who can roll with the punches and have a handle on my emotions” then I emotionally explode on the man and alas, I have done the bait and switch 🤯😭
Your self awareness is truly commendable, all people are guilty of this, but I do believe that it’s apart of human nature to do this somewhat. Excitement lies in mystery and, by not being a complete open book initially, it allows each participant to yearn and anticipate, fostering powerful emotions necessary to keep a relationship fresh, exciting and fulfilling.
@@F0XCL0UD Also people sometimes want to show the good sides of their character, before showing some of their shortcomings. But we all have shortcomings... it's just that we first show a person our potential and create a connection, before showing these short comings. But... that is very different than acting and pretending to be a whole other person than who one really is. I do agree that men (including me) need to look at this the most, but women also certainly have this too. Just somewhat less often.
Thanks Teal 🙏 this is a great message to men and women. Very insightful and explains a lot 😅 reminded me of what Kurt Cobain said; “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.”
I feel these 'experts' say these things to men, because it will keep them coming back to those experts time and time again when the relationships they have manipulated inevitably fail. very good video teal, thank you x
Yes. And it's kinda obvious why. Men get no intimacy without women. It's a scary place to be in. So the strat develops out of the fear of being without intimacy, sensitively abandoned. Thus men act from survival mode... It's very sad. And requires bravery in men to change. Good thing that bravery is a very masculine trait. So I'm hopeful we'll learn ❤️
Good point. Thanks for sharing that. But actually, women also get no intimacy without men. And it's scary for us as well. I think though our reaction is the opposite. We hang on too tight and deny that we're being played.
@@Xianne027 Yes you are right ofc :) It seems to me though that women get it to a much greater extent from other women. In this regard we need you more than you need us. Men need women to live, and women need men for survival. It's so beautiful really, however much pain there comes from it
@@hanneskonigwinqvist4396 Well, women would only get intimacy from other women if they're lesbian. Or do you mean emotional connection? That's a bit different... ;-)
well, true. i feel getting caught. its like applying for a job, pretending to be the perfect worker when sitting in the job interview. the company you apply to of course does the same thing. so its a game you are almost forced to play if you want to get hired. still a nice reminder to stay authentic as much as possible
Oh, yeah. I have experienced this for 3 years and it was the most painful breakup I have ever had. At some point it turned out he was not even interested in all the thing we did together at the beginning, the dancing, going on trips and started to call me crazy when I started asking him to own up to his words and promises. I had to break it off because I realized that he will never be the man he promised to be. And even then he was offended that I made the choice to break up by myself. And after all that time I asked him - if he did not like all the thing that I was interested in and liked doing - why was he doing it...? It felt like I was lied to for 3 years. It took some time to heal, but now I am engaged to the most wonderful partner I could have and I am happier than ever. We each have our own hobbies but still find things in common to do together.
I can definitely relate!!! 1.5 years but for first 9ish months he was into the sane trips and goals aligned etc. Then one day he just stopped abruptly and i found out about so mamy other lies as wellm it caused a sort of betrayal trauma. It was weird to think id woken up next to someone who was playing me eith a straight face. People dont understand how that feels its insanely devastating.
Im happy to say that I have absolutely zero game, and I have really always just been my authentic self around women. The result was lots and lots of rejection, or non interest lets say by the vast majority of women, but I found my soulmate in the end. No games, just be yourself, thats the best thing you can do as either sex.
Whoop! There it is! Truth bomb! Been a silent observer of different relationships like this. Noticed relationships fail and fade because of these behaviours. ( that’s what can make the thought of relationships scary.) I have heard men literally say, “You have to lie to get a woman” 😳. You’re gifted to describe many things very well. Doesn’t matter what relationship a person chooses, honesty is better. Thank you for sharing these insights.
This women is very wise and knowledgeable. She has a deep insight into human instincts and their effects on any relationship and she can explain that very well.. Love to listening to her. Hopefully will be able to take some good things from her videos.
I can attest this is all true for every relationship I have ever had. I thought I just didn’t know how to select the right man or attract the right man. Singleness is the way to be happy.
This reminds me of Radical Honesty from Dr. Brad Blanton. Get comfortable with yourself. Get honest with yourself. Only then can I be honest with others.
Yes but i also saw an opposite situation when men refuse to share some parts of them for the fear that would be the element of emotional weakness that makes the woman escape the relationship bc ''omg u weak can't provide for me''.And i think they have this experience so much they need to dissociate from their sentimental side in order to feel secure in a committed relationship.That is detrimental bc at one point the woman would want to see his sentimental side or this side would want to be exposed and would try to escape the masculinity with a lot of instable behaviours.Idk what im saying haah
I think a lot of women (especially insecure women) fall in love with man's ability to make her feel safe and secure which allows her to be vulnerable. What a lot of women don't realise is that men also need these things to be vulnerable, but usually only one person can provide that safe space at a time. So when a man is being vulnerable, instead of creating a strong, safe and secure place for the man to be vulnerable, the women feels she has suddenly lost her safe place, her 'rock', and gets nervous/anxious/insecure which makes the guy feel unsafe and so he feels insecure and avoids being vulnerable because she is not creating a safe space for him to be vulnerable. So women need to be able to identify when a man is being vulnerable and to be a safe space and source of strength for him in that moment, to 'hold space' for him the way he does to make her feel safe. Some women do this but a lot of women don't realise that they should be doing it, and so their men can never really feel safe being vulnerable. Their men have to be the rock and source of strength for her 100% of the time and they never get a turn to be vulnerable themselves and it is honestly exhausting. That's why they go off on their own to rejuvenate themselves, hence the avoidant type behaviours. It's honestly a little bit like being a parent, where you have to always be available to support and comfort a child while never being able to rely on the child for the same support. I appreciate all the women who can actually provide that reliably and comfortably for the men in their lives because many women don't, and only want to receive it from men, not provide it.
Because that is exactly why men adopt this other 'hunting' persona - because a lot of men think the way they normally are is unattractive to women, and a lot of women agree with them
The scenarios described in this video played out every time I was in a relationship and caused me to give up on dating. I deleted the apps a long time ago and lost interest. My life is so much more peaceful.
The scenario is what scenario are : fictions. You chose those men, didn't you? And you ignored all the others. Here is how we men see the deal : Women are blind to 95% of us. You all chase the same 5% top men and the trades that make them water their pans are not kindness, chivalry and intelligence. If something these trades put you in the friend-zone. Your choices force everyone else to behave like Chad and Tyrone. Women set the rules. Men adapt.
Yea… this confirms that I’m doomed to die alone. I’ve never been anything other than my authentic personality, and I cannot pull a woman. I refuse to try and become someone I’m not just to get one either.
This is 1000% spot on. So many women like me end up divorced because the man before and after marriage were 2 completely different people, with the latter being worse.
I've found that it's not really a gender thing, it's a people thing. As Teal has said men and women use strategies to get people they want to date Like some women will be all excited about sex in dating then come in marriage they start using it as a weapon or a way of getting what they want. And some men do that too
And you stayed the same? Sexy, seductive, fun, interested? … C’mon, don’t play the blame game, life is about growth and blame won’t get you anywhere fast apart from bitter and twisted ✨
@@randomelvis3359most of us will stay that way if the man continues to put in effort and show us love. Women don't just randomly stop being fun and loving. That usually only happens when we see he is no longer giving to the relationship. And yes I'm sure it's sometimes the other way around too.
Teal exposing the whole red pill community. I love how she's extremely authentic and we live in a time-space reality where we desperately need people like her to tell the truth. 💯
How is this related to red pill? That's a whole different topic, and those men actually have been hurt by the toxic feminine so don't feel safe with any woman at all and their hatred is actually powerless and grief in disguise.
From this day forth, I am going to be so b*oody authentic that I will scare the wrong people away, that includes being vocal on all my views (even about the jib jab), my taste in music (metal), my ambitions, everything. No more feeling ashamed, trying to conform, trying to hide my intelligence, I am just going to be proud. The wrong men and people, i.e. the inauthentic ones will run in fear because they can't keep up the mask and they won't be able to tolerate being with someone so confident. Now that's liberating, being truly authentic and free, thank you Teal!!!!
As you note, there is much wisdom in the phrase “the truth will set you free.” Malevolence revels in duplicity. It cannot tolerate truth. Imagine what the world would be like if all lived with the same conviction to authentic truth…… NB: the key is ensuring one is not dealing with something that does not possess a conscience. Authenticity that does not recognize internal lies ie a person sans conscience is still a recipe for predatory behavior. With time, or past experience with the 9th circle of hell as noted by Dante, betrayal, one can more easily discern veiled malevolence. Bravo to your metanoia. Cheers
I really began to understand it lately. I've been through toxic relationships, and while many things in me went the same, small habits were toxic, so as a result, I attracted toxic people. So the conclusion is becoming the person who does the right things consistently, work on bad/weird habits and be the best version for yourself (myself), to be the best man the woman you like can get 🙏🏻
like woman dont do this exact same thing it tiook me 4 months before she "relaxed" and turned out to be a total psycho getting furious and critisising me for even the way i talk or think. even though i too at first put more effort in keeping coversations more interesting then i do now when she started "relaxing" where having contionuous fights where she can even get triggered by me just asking if she could be a bit nicer about the way she critisizes me
Thanks for putting it so exact and spot on! You are so right! But sadly, I think most of these kind of guys are completely blocked to hearing your message. They are totally shut off from their hearts.
@@HenriZwols when emotional/personal intimacy become more important to them than physical intimacy (or just sex, with or without true intimacy) then it makes sense to stop. Putting out a hunter persona that hides your true self will prevent real intimacy (e.g. emotional intimacy) between people, so when that becomes important it makes sense to drop it. But I think guys are focused on getting laid for quite a while but when it gets boring then it becomes less important than real intimacy.
The more videos like this I see the more I understand why this one man I used to know just stayed in my heart forever. It was just kind of an accident that we ended up hanging out he did not want a relationship under any circumstances so he certainly was not trying to impress me, I can say I was not trying to impress him and yet we still fell in love. I think we just got eachother on a really deep level
Definitely being your authentic self is key for the most part. However, I suggest taking it slow as to learn how the person you are dating handles problem solving and their personality when something goes wrong for them, big or small. I've found some men "hunting" showing their best self, only to discover emotional immaturity along with an uncontrollable temper and sometimes rage or silent treatment traits. Good compatibility is out there! It took awhile, my husband and I have a happy fulfilling marriage 😍🥰🥳
Absurd statement : A man who shows his authentic self will be friend-zoned immediately. Women only see potential mates in the 5% of the top men. So men have to pretend to check all those laundry-list check-boxes otherwise they remain virgins. Its women who set the rules of dating. Men adapt. If men are not maintaining the illusion after marriage it's because it's just an illusion. Women's expectations are out of this world. Stop expecting the impossible and men will stop pretending to be the impossible. That's the real immaturity there.
@@ligafftheindifferent3495 I get what you're saying, but I think you missed the point. If you're being inauthentic, you can not necessarily keep it up. If you're being authentic, and court her the rest of your life, she will stay contained. Apparently you're doing the false image hunter thing still.
@@Baptized_in_Fire. My point is that "courting" behavior as defined by society is usually glorified simping and not authentic. If you are being authentic, this idea of doing something called ourting would be redundant. The default assumption is that being authentic and courting are different, How can you be something different via courting and still be authentic. The choice to court, to behave differently to impress or woo, instead of doing what you would normally do, is a form of inauthenticity.
@@ligafftheindifferent3495 Not to mention the scary expectation that "people don't change", guess what? If some time has passed as he or she are not the same person it is because they are not! People are allowed to change or not change, saying that you should be in a way X forever is not considering the double standard that every one changes as soon as they get what they want, regardless of gender. Being courteous should be the default on both sides, I'm 40 and I believe I'll ever get flowers on my funeral! But I must always be courteous otherwise I won't have sex with the same person forever? It's kind of a no-brainers to continue actually. It would be easy if both partners would "be the same way foerever", but this is unrealistic. I think that for a 13 minutes video this is fine, but it absolutely oversimplifies the human psique and helps create the ilusion that the male should do this or that forever. I find it sad and simplistic. That is internet I guess haha
@@ligafftheindifferent3495you completely missed the whole point of his comment, you need to genuinely be the person that treats your significant other well and not *act* as if you are
thank you teal. last year i dated someone who i wasnt sure was into women. he did pull all the stops until eventually just 3 mos after the love bombing he was back into his old habits - extreme privacy and confidentiality of devices and his schedule (cannot ask where he goes or what he does)
This is what happened to me with my last relationship, he play it all over really good to get me but at the end he loose.. I realized and canceled my wedding plans. It’s painful, disappointing and sad. Don’t do this man.
Teal speaks the truth again. I am myself now in a relationship with someone who is so authentic it sometimes shocks me and that's exactly what I love about this person. It's really this situation of "you get what you see" and it is so appeasing. It feels like solid ground. I used to be with someone who would turn the "hunter"/"charmer" mode on whenever our relationship would decline and this pattern kept me in an emotional rollercoaster for over seven years, needless to say it left both of us with a lot of scars.
Dear TealSwan, i am discovering your channel and i cannot articulate enough how thankful i am for you to be grounded in reality and sharing those insights. It is simple common sense, but this common sense is shadowed by so many beliefs nowadays that your work is like a nice and cold shower that wakes you up when the weigh of the blanket follows you in the morning. My english may be broken sorry
In theory this is an amazing statement regarding men beinh authentic! I have YET to find a man that is healed enough to be completely authentic tho! I find most are complete narcissists &/or have mother/father wounds that they are too proud to seek therapy for... Yes I attract these men & I am in therapy to heal & recognize these traits earlier on but it doesn't make it an easier putting yourself out there ALL the time & being authentic ALL the time. I am not fond of wasting my time like that when dating... My HOPE is that more men see this & choose this honest path but let's keep it real😂
@@carlyofearth 😂😂😂 The level of delusional thinking 😂😂😂 Expecting that you just wait, while a good man comes to you to prove himself. 😂😂😂 Dream on, dream on. You're under the spell of stories about princesses waiting in a tower for the prince to come and rescue her. 😂😂😂😂 Dream on, dream on. 😂😂😂 You are just looking for justification to cover up your low self esteem. 🤷 And based on your own (i)logic thinking, why would a "good man" want to look for you, if he doesn't need you for nothing? 😂😂😂 Dream on, dream on 😂😂😂
@@carlyofearth I agree completely! Another reason I am in therapy! I have had traumas galore & after my true awakening I see a wonder life/spiritual/naturalist Shaman on top of licensed therapy! I'm not dating now. Im actually learning to heal Long Haul Covid that's caused MANY chronic debilitating issues that happened JUST before I "woke up"(sorry if you don't know what I mean I have a hard time explaining still). So until I heal emotionally/spiritually(& somewhat physically) ya girl(43 btw) is not dealing w/no mens lol TYSM for your comment/guidance!🤗💜🤗
Your said: "Yes I attract these men" No. That is false. All kind of men are attracted to all kinds of women. However, you (and all women) reject most men immediately. The ones still in contention are all going to be similar, especially if your wounding is driving your attraction. Stop dodging accountability and admit that YOU CHOOSE broken men who are not authentic. You are not attracted to the ones that are authentic. Your attraxctions lead you astray. You also need to understand that men are trained from birth to be less than authentic. When young boys express emotions, they are punished, called sissys and so on. In particular, such men are shunned by women. The few men who, despite the incentives to be stoic and otherwise inauthentic, attempted to overcome this abusive training are probably going to be men you discard, because most women conflate authenticity and the ability to express a full range of emotions with weakness. I am not saying it is easy to find what you seek. Most men are not authentic, but if you think you only attract such men, you will never take the steps to expand your ability to consider some of the men you have ignored. You blame us rather than your own mate selection processes. Most likely the men you seek are only to be found among the men you are currently ignoring.
I've been in relationship with men who were not compatible, exactly as Teal described... they were not interested in me at all. Noticing how fast paced i am in my actions and how action oriented i naturally am, they just chose to go with unemployed, more passive and submissive, non-confrontational women. So if i happen to date again, i'll check that the man feels ok with my speed and energy levels... and if he's ok with me being a successful person... Don't underestimate this ! If a man is insecure about himself or his status and you are not, he will resent you for that. Guaranteed.
Thank you for talking abou this. The twitter comment section is totally the opposite of this.. so many comment saying "but women change too after they get into relationship". Hmmm.
Thank you for calling those people out, spreading dodgy ideas for dating.💯 You spoke on everything that I’ve been thinking about. People need to be more real with themselves & with others to in turn, experience real love.
Exactly on point, Teal. I have fought over this for years. I want to be authentic the whole time, though it makes me feel that being The Gentleman is nothing more than a man of cultural and societal 'compliance'. This reminds me of your article, _The Value Realisation._
This was one of your most helpful clear concise talks. Thanks for your ease and effort. Question ⁉️ How do women then navigate now knowing this? Encourage authentic behavior, or know hes presenting his best temporary self, or pace observe for truth? Whats a girl to do?? Ideas....mmh❤
This is actually top tier video. It was obvious for me since I was I puberty and I never played that game but it was breaking my hearth seeing decent girls I liked getting tricked but it blame on them that their are rather allways descent into sweet illusion than face the reality. This 3-6 months cycle are some girls are able to repeat like from 13yo into late 40's and never realise it. Men goal of getting a relationship is allways to get laid a women should know that. If realise how artifical and boring is "dating" and sex I started to wanting love which isn't a thing I can hunt or tame.
Wow….ive been with my husband for 44 years, and I must say, he never did any of those things, but that is what attracted me to him, besides him being hot😁😆 His habits are still the same…..he is the most materially generous person while being inconsiderate at some levels, but he was always genuine…….i knew I was getting the real deal…. I’m not always “in love” with hm, but my trust and respect for him has never faltered
Being authentic has always been impossible for me. Broken personality and zero self esteem from a lifetime of psychological abuse makes hunting the only option (Other than being alone which is where I am now, possibly forever). Great vid very accurate. I instinctively have a profilers instincts and seduction is based on that. Watching your vids and trying to learn to be a better human. thanks for your efforts.
You got this!!@ you already so many steps ahead those who haven't even realized this truth about themselves. The hardest relationship you can actually have is with your self. Requires the MOST intimacy. But if you can be intimate with yourself, truly sit with your darkness , able to see your own light, you can unconditionally gift that to others as well. It's the hardest journey there is, but brings about the most beautiful gifts. Gift of love 🙏💛🫂✨️
This story happened to me to a t. Just the dancing part was something else. Now I‘m much smarter and quicker at pointing out the tricksters. I also have compassion for them, cause I was selling myself as someone else before too. A big mess all together. Never again🤦🏻♀️
Funnily enough I think this also applies to work and careers, but the world doesn't suggest that you 'just focus on your own passions and interests and it'll all work out in the end', no it tells you to knuckle down, study, commit, ignore your own interests for a while and keep that goal in mind until it all eventually pays off. It seems a lot of women value the men who have that attitude when it comes to work but then are disturbed when that same attitude inevitably leaks into their approach to relationships. I think the problem is bigger than people are giving credit.
That's a good point! I think someone's approach to work and family sort of indicates their approach to relationships in general, so it's good to observe that. I notice a woman's work ethic and I feel more comfortable with women who have a positive attitude to their work, they show up reliably, try to do a good job and don't mind putting the work in, and they are loyal. When a woman is flaky, lazy, and entitled at work and sees it is disposable until she finds the next better job, it makes me feel unsafe to get into a relationship with her. When I start a job, I see it as my new family (maybe because I grew up in a family business which is where I developed my work ethic)
The flip always involves “control” as men get further into the relationship and experience fear of the deep feelings that he might have for the partner. Thus they seek to control what they feel creates the fear.
yep, they have a compulsion of trying to control and suppress the very things they’re attracted to. Some do it subconsciously but a lot of them are intentionally trying to “tame” and overcome a woman they feel is superior in some way. Then once you become a shell of yourself to please them, they leave and run to another woman that is the spitting opposite of you! (or the mirror of who you were/had the potential to be). sooooo crazy
Such an insightful video! Love this topic. As a gay man my way around this is to not date. Getting to know people as friends first removes this act ppl put on and you can then get to know someone in a MUCH more authentic way. Not to say this doesnt get tricky, the problem to face with this approach later is changing the gears over to something romantic. But I think these challenges are far more easier to face than looking at your partner several months later and realizing they are completely different from when you met them.
“Never stop courting”, I said this recently but in a different way. Get the girl, now keep the girl. The journey should never end. The insane fulfillment you get from the love and affection of a GOOD woman can not be replicated by anything else.
I’m so happy to have found you. I love your calm presentation like we’re having coffee together. Some holler and it’s so annoying so I shut it off. You’re on spot with your knowledge. I would pay to be in your audience
Wow ! I thought I was being irrational or childish by expecting my man to continue showing his interest like he was perfectly doing during our first two months, now that he seems comfortable since we're together.. thank you so much Teal for proving me wrong and demonstrating how what I felt was true for so many ! You have no idea how much this soothes my heart ❤
I’ve always just been myself and If a woman likes that great, if they don’t, no big deal. It must work because I’ve been in a relationship for 17+ years and still going strong.
Precisely. Been expressing exasperation about this for years. So annoying. But totally understandable given our conditioning. I feel for everyone. We ALL need to upgrade our transparency. I dated a man for five months before he said “I love you.” As soon as I said it back, he was on to the next. It was traumatic to say the least. It brings out my inner Kali. ;))
"Different to" is kind of weird. "Different than" or "different from" seems less awkward. "Carefully crafted an overlay to sleep with" is a really great line. Good video.
This does not only apply to men though. The tropes of the nagging wife or the dead bedroom aren't pulled out of thin air, and stembfrom the same issue: change of behaviour arfter getting what they want: commitment.
Who would want to go to bed with a stranger who just flipped and became someone else though? That's scary and this comment just sounds like entitlement to sex without providing safety. Have you asked women in your life about this?? If you're to be trusted, they'll tell you.
This video put to words what I've been feeling so long, which is partially why I've been single for so long. Working on myself has been a priority and also avoiding inauthentic relationships is something I've been avoiding for years. Someone being attractive just isn't enough to justify dating them, people are full of problems and your gonna take some of them on when dating. So you have to choose wisely and chose based on compatibility of their character otherwise you are gonna have to deal with a major imbalance, the saving grace of all of their negative traits is all of the things you like about their good traits, if you cannot figure out what their good personality traits are when you date them it's not gonna last when their negative traits come out, there is no balance in that and it will fall apart and the relationships that do will not fall apart in the cleanest way.
Seems like the men in the comments also took offense to other men’s BS. If you are confident in who you are as a man, then what other men do would elect a different reaction and response from you instead of taking it out on a random internet lady. Have a good day gentlemen and remember to be kind to yourself and others. 😉 👍
@@Francisays OP comment is just one example of why this content is bad. Teal named this behavior "worst and most common that men have". Title of the video is a click bait for the validation seeking women. This behavior is cross gender, not only men do this. Not helping the situation at all.
Hey, I'm a man and I love what you say, extremely high value and needed to be heard, I feel more than ever on the right track hearing all of this, even if it tastes “harder“ on the short term But who cares :)
Dive deeper into today's topic with our exclusive workbook! Transform theory into action with practical exercises for meaningful change. Sign up for your free account now to get instant access: tealswan.vip/workbooks
He's not trying to be in a physical relationship on the earth plane. He's utilizing online content as practice exercises, or Rorshach tests, or a laboratory, for the emotional exploration of intimate relationships in a future possible reality.
I like the way the energies affect my subtle bodies. They feel good to me in the invisible dimension on the inside.
You've never addressed me by name.
@@jamesmullaney5841what are you talking about?
@@jamesmullaney5841 Do you do all the spiritual stuff expecting to be appreciated because of it? James. Mullaney.
I always thought my thing of only being able to be authentic was my downfall until I found someone who liked that about me. She's my wife now, and we've never been happier. If you can't be completely vulnerable with your partner then it's not worth it
Thankyou to share this!
❤❤❤
@@loredours565* correction, “thank you for sharing this.”
Thank you for sharing this❤ Hope you are happy and stay together!!
Good for you
"Never stop courting the person you are with." Spot on.
Yet I've never encountered a woman I've been with that courted me...always been one way traffic and lots of entitlement.
@@killjoyredux8361Try a different type.
@@Ane127 women are women.
It's called 'Romantic' relationship for a reason 😄
@@Ane127 women are women. There are no different types, just variations on the same.
I’ve been married to my wife for 43 years. To me the secret to a happy marriage relationship is. Meet weekly for a meeting to Discuss what yours and her needs are. Listening to and seeing and understanding what each person needs. Oh and BTW. She hunted me. Everywhere I went she happened to be there. Shes still with me everyday ❤. Food style changes every few years in a lasting relationship ❤ my avatar photo is me in 1980 I was 25 years old. Im 70 years old now. We are still holding hands and we both chase each other. I’m a lucky man 😎
Love it. Do you remember what song you were playing in the photo?
@@TheodoreDorado probably something I wrote. Maybe my song “One Night Stands”
Thanks so much for your beautiful message! ❤
I hope it reaches some of the male viewers.
You are a smart man, not lucky. Thank you for giving us hope!
Oh my this is too freakn adorable
"Start the relationship as you intend to continue forever" 🎉❤🎉❤🎉 This right here is a game changer for healthy relationships.
This!
So true if I can't marry and raise family.. I'm just hindering my progress by getting the time out of my hand to the partner
A man said to me "why chase a bus once you have caught it,"and.... on another occasion, 'I never promised you a rose garden.' 😮
Feel comfortable in a bed with whom I'm with, to ask her questions and be intimate literally with her.
In that time she can confess "her boundaries," and I'll let her know I can have more than one female "partner" at anytime because I'm working on holistic medicine and if my means benefit - all things can be healed.
These comments are bizarre 😂
TLDR: Don't pretend to be someone you're not, even in the beginning of a relationship. Be authentic.
Some good stuff.
Some good stuff.
Yea duh ❤ idk why its hard to be honest
Twin flame
Why is that said about men specifically (the title) and not just about people? In my experience, women are at least as likely as men to put on an act until the partner is committed. After all, "I married her, and then she changed completely" is a well-known story, but "I married him and then he changed completely" isn't as common.
And this is why dating is scary 😅 people being inauthentic
Women hate authentic men, so men don't try to be.
Yep!!
why is that ? Isnt it exciting to get to know someone new and get a nice kick until you want something new again ?
Especially with online dating. I am sorry for the younger generations for mostly being online.
Unfortunately this is natural human behavior. Your DNA simply does not care
To establish a secure relationship, present your most authenitc self from the beginning and start as the person that you can continue to be forever. Don't create an overlay as it may cause many problems down the line. Attract with what is real about you. Show all of who you are. Represent your true self.
The advice "just be yourself" is actually good advice, and the problem with it is not the "be yourself" part, it is the "just" part
Being yourself actually takes a lot of courage and even practise, and most people go around not really being themselves. So being yourself is actually an accomplishment, not the default position, for most people
All true! I was trapped in the idea I had to have "game" and watched videos of those kinds of "men" until I realized that none of them work because I was sabotaging myself subconsciously because I am extremely authentic by nature but at the time I didn't realize consciously that I had to play a character. Long story short, I stopped playing games and now I've met the love of my life, as authentic as myself. Guys I can't stress this enough, BE YOURSELF and improve yourself and eventually you will reach The Promised Land.
It's false. Those "men" are the visible 5% Chads and Tyrons all women are lusting for. And they treat them like s...t because they are bad boys and pump and dump them in series. Then women complain all men are like that because they are blind to the 95% of men. Instead of wondering why they opened their legs to the wrong guy and friendzoned all the good men they pretend all men are trash. Enough.
I tried that. Got USED over and over.
@@kurtvanluven9351watch the video again. Did you actually pay attention to the woman and who she was and did you ever ask yourself WHY you were attracted to her. Check with your subconscious presets first to see if you actually loved her for HER or was only attracted to her, built an image in your head about her and then found the hard truth?
Women are guilty of this too, of course. Alot of us fall for an illusion of a person we create in our minds. Games only make that illusion worse, obviously.
I stopped watching those videos a while ago.... I do not pretend who I'm not.
Thanks! That’s so good to hear!
I just saw one of these „pick-up videos“ this morning and said to myself „I don’t want to be and act like that“.
Yeah, man, you can't be lazy in relationships... Always love yourself and her❤
So is with your kids😅
but she loves only her self
a guy broke my heart doing all this. and i'm grateful that this video helps me understand it all better. thank you 🖤
It happened to me too only the gender shoes were reversed. Women hide who they are too if they desire you. It is more of a beggar versus chooser dynamic than a male and female thing. When we are young men are far more likely to be beggars except the top 5% of men who are hyper-privileged. Women have most of the social power up until 30 years old than the dynamic slowly changes but never reverses. Some women never catch on that they are less desirable as they age and they end up bitter and angry often because some highly desirable men just used them. In no place is this worse than with online dating where a "2" woman can date an "8" man for a week or two until he gets what he wants or decides he isn't going to get it so he ghosts. I'm not being judgmental because as a guy if super hot women paid attention to me I would likely ignore the women at my station too. A wise woman finds out her station and finds similar men that will make her happy longer term. This not something easy to do, especially with political correctness that denies levels of desirability. It would be great if men and women were rated in desirability by the online programs perhaps using an AI as women rate men very harshly with the average around "2".
Yeah I've been love bombed by many women. The main flavour of women I spent my late teens with were girls already in relationships with guys 😂 the usual way they'd end would be "you're a player, I'm falling in love with you so I'm going to stop seeing you 😂" yet they were the ones playing and I was just a single dude that was a piece of meat to them. ❤❤❤
I would rather be alone and by myself than lie to get a relationship. Life is not a James Bond movie. Thanks for this!
I definitely didn't learn authenticity growing up
@@NKRAIEMso now what.. how do we even fig who we truly are if all we were allowed was the role.. an empty shell
I've been the man who "hunted" women I wasn't even compatible with. That ended in pain for everyone involved. I've also been the man who neglected someone that I was compatible with after hunting them. Then losing them...That was the pain that lead me to start thinking about these things on a deeper level so that I can change my paradigms in relationships. It seems like there may be some personal pain behind this for you. If so, I'm sorry for your pain. May the futures we weave be brighter with the wisdom we gain. Thank you for the video.
I can relate to this message. I think part of the 'error' is in the idea of 'conquest' and 'achieving' or 'getting' a woman. But once you 'have' her, what is left? The thrill of the hunt is gone. And that's why we (or at least I) have to focus on deeper connection than just the aquisition of a new relationship or dopamine hit of a successful conquest. Then the true journey begins.
THe best person to date is one who does shadow work and cares about everyone having a broader view on everyone and everything. That doesn't exclude the possibility of that happening but Id say the odds will decrease.
I am a man and I see this pattern closer than me than I wanted to. We men must set the example and be authentic. Thanks for the wisdom Teal
Yep, that's me. The hunt is more exiting than to be in relationship, and of course, because the relationship is not compatible in the first place and im having to adopt a persona that is not real, or deal with the friction of being authentic. It's hell for me and for her. It's not happening again.
Thanks Teal.
If only men dedicated that level of energy and commitment towards something beneficial for the world. 😂
I wish you best of luck in stopping and reversing this pattern! I know it can be hard to change something so ingrained. You got this! No one deserves to be played with and tossed aside, wondering what they did wrong.
@@ksy4747 thats a cool idea, redirecting that focus on getting amazing projects off the ground, give them to someone to maintain them and start the next project
@@ksy4747getting into a relationship with a woman and potentially having children with her *is* an important benefit to the world. On some level, it is the most important and fundamental aspect of our lives as humans.
Male hormones and thinking patterns drive them to seek out women with an extreme priority. As we see from pick up artists, red pill types etc., men are more than willing to change their entire personality to cater towards attracting women. Whatever men perceive women as wanting, they will try to become that thing.
Women like men with wealth and status? Men bust their asses to gain status and wealth via their career choice. Women like men who are risk takers? Men choose riskier jobs. Women like dominant men? Men will choose/attempt to act more dominant. There are no guarantees that these things will work- but it is quite remarkable the sheer level that men's perception of what women desire drives their behavior on a subconscious level.
Cities have been built, nations razed, people slaughtered and amazing advancements have been achieved all because on some level men thought these things would elevate them in the eyes of women. We humans are incredibly intelligent and crafty- yet we are still animals. We just have very complex mating rituals.
@@ksy4747the guys who are really into their purpose and mission in life don’t have the time to be talking to many women. I don’t have the mental bandwidth for it
@pada5992 that's also a manifestor type in human design (that's me lol). We are the initators. So yeah, it would be cool bc from personal experience, I'm good at starting things, but have extreme hard time finishing them.
This happened to me with my ex, he was completely different once we were in a committed relationship. Hence why we broke up. I am so grateful that my husband was being authentic from the beginning, we are now married with a baby and he is exactly the way he was and I have relationship security with the fact that he is being himself.
Real game is getting in touch with your unique gifts and having the courage to be transparent without attachment to outcome.
💯!
Very true!!!
You are right. My exhusband was one way, Before I married him. Then he changed after we got married. I felt I was married to a stranger. And I filed for divorce. Because he was not the man I fell in love with. Now I understand why he did this. Thank you Teal for this video.
It is super scary being married to and sharing intimate space with a stranger.
Ask around, and you’ll find out that every male friend you know saw right through him from the very start. Men detect BS in other men in minutes. Women go decades because women want to be lied to. Women want to be lied to because it absolves them of responsibility for choosing losers and abusers over and over again.
Take accountability. Don’t blame them, blame yourself for choosing them. You just love to finger pointing, take accountability women….
@@JamFlava1why do you feel the need to blame yourself? Heal honey. No need to blame.
Teal is spot on in what she said in this video. Guys are NOT going to want to hear it but she's right. Tough love, tough medicine.
I did this approach of awthenticy and found out that the overwhelming amount of people men and women are looking for a scapegoat or a parent. Men want mothers and women want daddy, up to the point of maturity then is all about status and keeping up with the Joneses. (just too many main charterers and pride and not enough empathy and communication.)
That's an interesting observation. I do find it ironic how the human mind creates illusions, and that when we fall for someone, we create a phantom in our mind. We don't actually see the person in front of us, and instead, we create something that isn't real. When dating men, I noticed that the majority project an image onto me because they don't actually see me. Ironic, since most of these dim wits don't even know what they want because they are so inauthentic! I think the illusion or the phantom only serves to heal a wound, for example, pursuing a partner to keep up with the Joneses, is stemming from an ego issue. Shadow work is important because we are then not looking to fix ourselves through the attainment of being with someone. Perhaps these men who engage in the hunt want the prize to fix something within and are delusional; what they really ought to do is work on themselves before hurting a load of people. Just imagine what the world would be like if people were to redirect that energy into creating positive change, that would be healing for all.
Once I realized that men do this I was very disappointed. It was a sober reality check. I realized that most men aren’t concerned about compatibility or what’s in the best interest of their partner. What they’re concerned about is getting an object of entertainment & pleasure to fulfill a role in their lives. And since they’re very visual, their perception of who best fits that role is skin-deep. That’s when I woke up to the fact that that’s what happened in my previous marriage and relationships. The men who told me they loved me were merely ‘in love’ with winning the trophy and the perceived win in fulfilling their needs. They were in love with how I looked, how I made them feel, or how I made them look to others. Unfortunately, I see it in so many men now, it’s become seemingly impossible to ever find real love. 😢 Thanks for the video. We need more awareness of this issue.
I'd suggest stop focusing on the wrong ones and focus on the ones who get it right. Worked for me.
@@AlbertBalbastreMorte I’m sorry to say, but I cannot think of one man in my life who gets this issue right.
You have descibed everything women do. Learn how to become useful in the life of USEFUL men. Fulfillment will go both ways.
@@mikemcglauflin8985 Unfortunately, useful women often get USED. Don’t ask me how I know…!
I believe my husband did this as well. I actually had this realization about a year ago. We’ve been together for 15 years and have 5 children together. Once we were married, he just seemed to switch into a different mode. While before, dates were elaborate and well thought out (blocking off an entire private section of a nice restaurant, across the street from a view I’ve always loved and surprising me with my favorite flowers being delivered to the restaurant before we arrived etc) to dates abruptly ending. I reached the point where I was begging him for dates, and he was saying that if dates were so important to me, I should plan them myself because he doesn’t care. I told him the dates could be free. We could simply go for a walk through the neighborhood together. I’ve asked him probably 50 times to go on a walk with me, and he said yes once, only because I cried. He used to make little thoughtful gifts me, like buying stickers and decorating a contact case for me, writing me poems etc. And then once married, all gifts ended. Nothing for Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, nothing. We’ve come a long way in the past few months, so I have hope. But he most definitely put on an elaborate act to get me to marry him. And he kept it up for a Long time. He dropped the act on our honeymoon. I’m now in love with how great of a father he is and with his potential to be what he used to be. It’s honestly soul crushing. He only speaks to me because I begged for years, telling him how important it is to me that we have deep conversations like we used to. And for what it’s worth, I never stopped trying. I treat him with love, I sleep with him passionately, I stay looking fit for him and cook amazing meals from scratch etc. So yeah, I feel you. It’s very very difficult to reckon with 💔
This is perhaps one of the finest distillation of why seeking the truth from within is so critical before one attempts to connect externally. It is so common for the initial phase of a relationship to be built upon an illusion. Consciousness is and honesty with one’s self is an absolute requirement for a real long term commitment. It’s requisite from both parties. Knowing the “Toad” within and being honest about it always is perhaps the best means to prevent one from pretending they are only a prince. Well done video. Concise and truth. Cheers.
Absolutely, to go within before connecting externally, brilliantly expressed!
For anyone who is interested in why there are men that can be like this, it’s because those men have been socialized in a way where they feel as if they are unlovable for who they really are. You can have compassion for yourself.
They don’t love themselves- they are usually narcissists and destroy people- they have no compassion for anyone
women try to tell men that but they are the ones who have to let it in
@@pada5992Telling them isn't how they'll "get" it. *Showing them* is.
@@Aspire705well said.
And often people are just being 'nice' when they wish you well, and sometimes them being 'nice' is actually just BS and they are just saying things to make you feel better instead of telling you what they really think (i.e. not helpful). And when people are being nice they don't necessarily follow it up with action or tangible support when and how you need it. In other words, it is just empty words, and that is how a lot of women try to communicate this message to men - with words and not actions, which is what you just said (in fewer words too lol).
And so guys get the message that - in theory - other people support and love them but their experience is of being left to deal with things alone and unsupported, while occasionally hearing words of hypothetical support
Men teach each other that.
I've never heard Teal Swan present an argument or discussion that failed to impress me. Theirs so much respect here ❤. At this point in our history it's so badly needed.
I stopped dating five years ago and haven't been physical with anyone since. I can't handle all those toxic people, it's better to stay single 🎉
You’re so wrong and denying yourself a basic human need
@@psychowolf99 well in all these years I haven't been able to find someone who wants to date me so I'll just stick to having good friends and family instead of romance
@@stanteacher943 sounds like incel mentality
You will find the love you want and need
@@redpepper75 thank you so much, it's important to stay open and receive love, if it comes it comes 😁
Spot on! There is so much content on tricks and techniques and not enough encouragement of inner work to actually BE the person who is desirable.
So many masks and characters instead of authentic embodiment. That's such a problem
💯
Caze they are scared af. It's insane fear of being vulnerable and intimate. Insecurities at their loudest. Makes the men look weak, too (in my mind at least).
@@ksy4747 absolutely. fear of rejection is common
I don't know about that, I think there is plenty of material for inner work for men, it just depends on what you look for.
But you're not wrong, there is a lot of material about tips on how to successfully 'hunt' for a woman
@@thecurrentmoment Of course it exists. I didn't say healthy information didn't exist. But I do think the gimmicks tend to outshine the healthy content
All this video is great and valid for women as well, mainly the part which says “start as you intend to continue forever”.
🎉 exactly
Teal really should at least add this caveat. By failing to do so, it certainly seems like she things women are not prone to be inauthentic, which we all know is totally wrong.
Very true as I’ve experienced many times
Totally, I could say the same thing applies to many women in almost equal amounts.
@ligafftheindifferent3495 ....I dumped her channel after watching this...what an a hole this woman is.
I have 2 exes with BPD/Autism, it feels like with them it's reversed. They present an extreme version of their authentic self which often gets taken advantage of by people. But when someone actually truely loves that version of them, they put toxic walls up and hide their authenticity. To then convince you that that first version was just 'honeymoon phase' and this toxic version is truely who they are. And when you figure them out, it only gets worse. I was incredibly in love with my last girlfriend, and her authentic self was a perfect match with me. But she was always too scared to take the jump and kept going back into avoidance. Trauma is a hell of a thing, tragic love story.
I read that first sentence as BPD being same as Autism. If that is how you meant it, -that is quite wrong. They are two very different possible ways for the brain to form; with the others being the other personality disorders and neuro-typical, which is "normal".-
@@Damons-Old-SoulIt's very common to have both BPD and autism. He never said it's the same thing.
How do you know they were wrong when they said that it was just at a "honeymoon phase" and not their authentic self? And how can you tell what is truly authenticly them and what is not?
@@Damons-Old-Soul No, they had both BPD and autism.
@@LucyBullwhip I was basing it on the idea that both are actually a result of brain formation over that is just personality. I do still question if co-morbidity can show in the brain scans that I was working from. I did see that there are a lot of examples of being diagnosed with both.
I've been there and done that and can attest that this video's message is 💯 legit. There is no better advice than be yourself, be authentic, be honest.
Thankyou Teal that's 💥
”The behaviors you displayed in order to get into a relationship, are the very behaviors that will keep that relationship good once you are in it, those are the behaviors to which they said “yes, I want to be in a relationship with this” specifically by getting into that relationship with you”. Teal Swan 🌎 thank you Teal 😘
Basically , men sell women stories they WANT to buy , so if the story doesn’t sound familiar they never going to buy it and men know this , so the hunting is always successful for the man who knows how to shape-shift .
Women told you need to choose better with no understanding about the switch.
Lately I’ve become conscious of my previously subconscious bait and switch behavior, i know this video is about men but it definitely gave me insight of “daaang I do that, too.” Becoming aware of our patterns truly is only hope for changing them 😭
Example: “I’m a chill girl who can roll with the punches and have a handle on my emotions” then I emotionally explode on the man and alas, I have done the bait and switch 🤯😭
Ps I agree with the video my brain just automatically made me self reflect as well
Always appreciate an accountable woman.
Your self awareness is truly commendable, all people are guilty of this, but I do believe that it’s apart of human nature to do this somewhat. Excitement lies in mystery and, by not being a complete open book initially, it allows each participant to yearn and anticipate, fostering powerful emotions necessary to keep a relationship fresh, exciting and fulfilling.
@@F0XCL0UD Also people sometimes want to show the good sides of their character, before showing some of their shortcomings. But we all have shortcomings... it's just that we first show a person our potential and create a connection, before showing these short comings.
But... that is very different than acting and pretending to be a whole other person than who one really is. I do agree that men (including me) need to look at this the most, but women also certainly have this too. Just somewhat less often.
Stories of "Nice Guys"
Thanks Teal 🙏 this is a great message to men and women. Very insightful and explains a lot 😅 reminded me of what Kurt Cobain said; “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.”
I feel these 'experts' say these things to men, because it will keep them coming back to those experts time and time again when the relationships they have manipulated inevitably fail. very good video teal, thank you x
Yes. And it's kinda obvious why. Men get no intimacy without women. It's a scary place to be in. So the strat develops out of the fear of being without intimacy, sensitively abandoned. Thus men act from survival mode... It's very sad. And requires bravery in men to change. Good thing that bravery is a very masculine trait. So I'm hopeful we'll learn ❤️
Good point. Thanks for sharing that. But actually, women also get no intimacy without men. And it's scary for us as well. I think though our reaction is the opposite. We hang on too tight and deny that we're being played.
@@Xianne027 Yes you are right ofc :) It seems to me though that women get it to a much greater extent from other women. In this regard we need you more than you need us. Men need women to live, and women need men for survival. It's so beautiful really, however much pain there comes from it
@@hanneskonigwinqvist4396 Well, women would only get intimacy from other women if they're lesbian. Or do you mean emotional connection? That's a bit different... ;-)
@@Xianne027 Yes I mean emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy. This includes sexuality ofc. But as I see it it's just one of many aspects of it
Trust me I can feel & be in intimacy w/o women all the time 😏
I’m glad Teal has finally given her take on pick up. Could’ve used this many years ago
well, true. i feel getting caught. its like applying for a job, pretending to be the perfect worker when sitting in the job interview. the company you apply to of course does the same thing.
so its a game you are almost forced to play if you want to get hired.
still a nice reminder to stay authentic as much as possible
Nice. Forgot about this. So true.
Its weird how much interviewing for a job feels exactly the same as inauthentic dating.
Exactly, whether you are right for the position you find out once you've got the job haha
Oh, yeah. I have experienced this for 3 years and it was the most painful breakup I have ever had. At some point it turned out he was not even interested in all the thing we did together at the beginning, the dancing, going on trips and started to call me crazy when I started asking him to own up to his words and promises. I had to break it off because I realized that he will never be the man he promised to be. And even then he was offended that I made the choice to break up by myself. And after all that time I asked him - if he did not like all the thing that I was interested in and liked doing - why was he doing it...? It felt like I was lied to for 3 years. It took some time to heal, but now I am engaged to the most wonderful partner I could have and I am happier than ever. We each have our own hobbies but still find things in common to do together.
I can definitely relate!!! 1.5 years but for first 9ish months he was into the sane trips and goals aligned etc. Then one day he just stopped abruptly and i found out about so mamy other lies as wellm it caused a sort of betrayal trauma. It was weird to think id woken up next to someone who was playing me eith a straight face. People dont understand how that feels its insanely devastating.
The best is......to grow.....TOGETHER....and not to be just an egomaniac.....on either sides.....
Im happy to say that I have absolutely zero game, and I have really always just been my authentic self around women. The result was lots and lots of rejection, or non interest lets say by the vast majority of women, but I found my soulmate in the end. No games, just be yourself, thats the best thing you can do as either sex.
Whoop! There it is! Truth bomb! Been a silent observer of different relationships like this. Noticed relationships fail and fade because of these behaviours. ( that’s what can make the thought of relationships scary.) I have heard men literally say, “You have to lie to get a woman” 😳. You’re gifted to describe many things very well. Doesn’t matter what relationship a person chooses, honesty is better. Thank you for sharing these insights.
This women is very wise and knowledgeable. She has a deep insight into human instincts and their effects on any relationship and she can explain that very well.. Love to listening to her. Hopefully will be able to take some good things from her videos.
I can attest this is all true for every relationship I have ever had. I thought I just didn’t know how to select the right man or attract the right man. Singleness is the way to be happy.
This reminds me of Radical Honesty from Dr. Brad Blanton. Get comfortable with yourself. Get honest with yourself. Only then can I be honest with others.
All i can say It's very demaging and takes lots of time to recover❤
Yes but i also saw an opposite situation when men refuse to share some parts of them for the fear that would be the element of emotional weakness that makes the woman escape the relationship bc ''omg u weak can't provide for me''.And i think they have this experience so much they need to dissociate from their sentimental side in order to feel secure in a committed relationship.That is detrimental bc at one point the woman would want to see his sentimental side or this side would want to be exposed and would try to escape the masculinity with a lot of instable behaviours.Idk what im saying haah
Avoid avoidant men. That's it.
I think a lot of women (especially insecure women) fall in love with man's ability to make her feel safe and secure which allows her to be vulnerable. What a lot of women don't realise is that men also need these things to be vulnerable, but usually only one person can provide that safe space at a time. So when a man is being vulnerable, instead of creating a strong, safe and secure place for the man to be vulnerable, the women feels she has suddenly lost her safe place, her 'rock', and gets nervous/anxious/insecure which makes the guy feel unsafe and so he feels insecure and avoids being vulnerable because she is not creating a safe space for him to be vulnerable.
So women need to be able to identify when a man is being vulnerable and to be a safe space and source of strength for him in that moment, to 'hold space' for him the way he does to make her feel safe.
Some women do this but a lot of women don't realise that they should be doing it, and so their men can never really feel safe being vulnerable. Their men have to be the rock and source of strength for her 100% of the time and they never get a turn to be vulnerable themselves and it is honestly exhausting. That's why they go off on their own to rejuvenate themselves, hence the avoidant type behaviours. It's honestly a little bit like being a parent, where you have to always be available to support and comfort a child while never being able to rely on the child for the same support.
I appreciate all the women who can actually provide that reliably and comfortably for the men in their lives because many women don't, and only want to receive it from men, not provide it.
“When he shows his real character, she will reject him” this statement should have been more central to this video.
Because that is exactly why men adopt this other 'hunting' persona - because a lot of men think the way they normally are is unattractive to women, and a lot of women agree with them
From my understanding at this Point in my life is that it's never going to happen.
Not true ❤ it will
We can't know that for sure. I think romance is only possible once we are okay with living a life in which we might not find it. @@redpepper75
The scenarios described in this video played out every time I was in a relationship and caused me to give up on dating. I deleted the apps a long time ago and lost interest. My life is so much more peaceful.
The scenario is what scenario are : fictions. You chose those men, didn't you? And you ignored all the others. Here is how we men see the deal : Women are blind to 95% of us. You all chase the same 5% top men and the trades that make them water their pans are not kindness, chivalry and intelligence. If something these trades put you in the friend-zone. Your choices force everyone else to behave like Chad and Tyrone. Women set the rules. Men adapt.
Yea… this confirms that I’m doomed to die alone. I’ve never been anything other than my authentic personality, and I cannot pull a woman. I refuse to try and become someone I’m not just to get one either.
This is 1000% spot on. So many women like me end up divorced because the man before and after marriage were 2 completely different people, with the latter being worse.
Scary 🙈
I've found that it's not really a gender thing, it's a people thing. As Teal has said men and women use strategies to get people they want to date
Like some women will be all excited about sex in dating then come in marriage they start using it as a weapon or a way of getting what they want. And some men do that too
And you stayed the same? Sexy, seductive, fun, interested? … C’mon, don’t play the blame game, life is about growth and blame won’t get you anywhere fast apart from bitter and twisted ✨
Women misrepresent themselves in dating just the same so IDK why Teal chose to single out men in this video.
@@randomelvis3359most of us will stay that way if the man continues to put in effort and show us love. Women don't just randomly stop being fun and loving. That usually only happens when we see he is no longer giving to the relationship. And yes I'm sure it's sometimes the other way around too.
Teal exposing the whole red pill community. I love how she's extremely authentic and we live in a time-space reality where we desperately need people like her to tell the truth. 💯
Enjoy your cats.
Yes.
@@joeprimal2044 The only argument a really tiny brain can think of. 😅
How is this related to red pill? That's a whole different topic, and those men actually have been hurt by the toxic feminine so don't feel safe with any woman at all and their hatred is actually powerless and grief in disguise.
@@jelenaristic8398Or one who is not going to waste more time on you than that brief statement.
From this day forth, I am going to be so b*oody authentic that I will scare the wrong people away, that includes being vocal on all my views (even about the jib jab), my taste in music (metal), my ambitions, everything. No more feeling ashamed, trying to conform, trying to hide my intelligence, I am just going to be proud. The wrong men and people, i.e. the inauthentic ones will run in fear because they can't keep up the mask and they won't be able to tolerate being with someone so confident. Now that's liberating, being truly authentic and free, thank you Teal!!!!
As you note, there is much wisdom in the phrase “the truth will set you free.” Malevolence revels in duplicity. It cannot tolerate truth. Imagine what the world would be like if all lived with the same conviction to authentic truth…… NB: the key is ensuring one is not dealing with something that does not possess a conscience. Authenticity that does not recognize internal lies ie a person sans conscience is still a recipe for predatory behavior. With time, or past experience with the 9th circle of hell as noted by Dante, betrayal, one can more easily discern veiled malevolence. Bravo to your metanoia. Cheers
I really began to understand it lately. I've been through toxic relationships, and while many things in me went the same, small habits were toxic, so as a result, I attracted toxic people. So the conclusion is becoming the person who does the right things consistently, work on bad/weird habits and be the best version for yourself (myself), to be the best man the woman you like can get 🙏🏻
like woman dont do this exact same thing it tiook me 4 months before she "relaxed" and turned out to be a total psycho getting furious and critisising me for even the way i talk or think. even though i too at first put more effort in keeping coversations more interesting then i do now when she started "relaxing" where having contionuous fights where she can even get triggered by me just asking if she could be a bit nicer about the way she critisizes me
One of the best relationship videos I've seen. My pastor taught this same thing years ago. So true! Txs Teal!
Thanks for putting it so exact and spot on! You are so right!
But sadly, I think most of these kind of guys are completely blocked to hearing your message. They are totally shut off from their hearts.
Probably because it's working for them. Their authentic self doesn't get layed, their hunter persona does. Then why stop?
@@HenriZwols when emotional/personal intimacy become more important to them than physical intimacy (or just sex, with or without true intimacy) then it makes sense to stop.
Putting out a hunter persona that hides your true self will prevent real intimacy (e.g. emotional intimacy) between people, so when that becomes important it makes sense to drop it.
But I think guys are focused on getting laid for quite a while but when it gets boring then it becomes less important than real intimacy.
The more videos like this I see the more I understand why this one man I used to know just stayed in my heart forever. It was just kind of an accident that we ended up hanging out he did not want a relationship under any circumstances so he certainly was not trying to impress me, I can say I was not trying to impress him and yet we still fell in love. I think we just got eachother on a really deep level
yep men and women have to deal with this . i wish more people were authentic .
Is that what you heard? Did we watch two different videos?
@@angieangie991 how did you interpret it?
Definitely being your authentic self is key for the most part. However, I suggest taking it slow as to learn how the person you are dating handles problem solving and their personality when something goes wrong for them, big or small. I've found some men "hunting" showing their best self, only to discover emotional immaturity along with an uncontrollable temper and sometimes rage or silent treatment traits. Good compatibility is out there! It took awhile, my husband and I have a happy fulfilling marriage 😍🥰🥳
Absurd statement : A man who shows his authentic self will be friend-zoned immediately. Women only see potential mates in the 5% of the top men. So men have to pretend to check all those laundry-list check-boxes otherwise they remain virgins. Its women who set the rules of dating. Men adapt. If men are not maintaining the illusion after marriage it's because it's just an illusion. Women's expectations are out of this world. Stop expecting the impossible and men will stop pretending to be the impossible. That's the real immaturity there.
Yes. Never stop courting her.
So....Keep the facade forever.... Probably not possible and certainly masochistic. Courting is, almost by definition, a false image.
@@ligafftheindifferent3495 I get what you're saying, but I think you missed the point. If you're being inauthentic, you can not necessarily keep it up. If you're being authentic, and court her the rest of your life, she will stay contained. Apparently you're doing the false image hunter thing still.
@@Baptized_in_Fire. My point is that "courting" behavior as defined by society is usually glorified simping and not authentic. If you are being authentic, this idea of doing something called ourting would be redundant. The default assumption is that being authentic and courting are different, How can you be something different via courting and still be authentic. The choice to court, to behave differently to impress or woo, instead of doing what you would normally do, is a form of inauthenticity.
@@ligafftheindifferent3495 Not to mention the scary expectation that "people don't change", guess what? If some time has passed as he or she are not the same person it is because they are not! People are allowed to change or not change, saying that you should be in a way X forever is not considering the double standard that every one changes as soon as they get what they want, regardless of gender. Being courteous should be the default on both sides, I'm 40 and I believe I'll ever get flowers on my funeral! But I must always be courteous otherwise I won't have sex with the same person forever? It's kind of a no-brainers to continue actually. It would be easy if both partners would "be the same way foerever", but this is unrealistic. I think that for a 13 minutes video this is fine, but it absolutely oversimplifies the human psique and helps create the ilusion that the male should do this or that forever. I find it sad and simplistic. That is internet I guess haha
@@ligafftheindifferent3495you completely missed the whole point of his comment, you need to genuinely be the person that treats your significant other well and not *act* as if you are
thank you teal. last year i dated someone who i wasnt sure was into women. he did pull all the stops until eventually just 3 mos after the love bombing he was back into his old habits - extreme privacy and confidentiality of devices and his schedule (cannot ask where he goes or what he does)
This is what happened to me with my last relationship, he play it all over really good to get me but at the end he loose.. I realized and canceled my wedding plans. It’s painful, disappointing and sad. Don’t do this man.
Teal speaks the truth again. I am myself now in a relationship with someone who is so authentic it sometimes shocks me and that's exactly what I love about this person. It's really this situation of "you get what you see" and it is so appeasing. It feels like solid ground.
I used to be with someone who would turn the "hunter"/"charmer" mode on whenever our relationship would decline and this pattern kept me in an emotional rollercoaster for over seven years, needless to say it left both of us with a lot of scars.
How do you deal with a spouse who always plays "devil's advocate", always challenging, always disagrees, even in simple conversations?
Dear TealSwan, i am discovering your channel and i cannot articulate enough how thankful i am for you to be grounded in reality and sharing those insights. It is simple common sense, but this common sense is shadowed by so many beliefs nowadays that your work is like a nice and cold shower that wakes you up when the weigh of the blanket follows you in the morning.
My english may be broken sorry
In theory this is an amazing statement regarding men beinh authentic! I have YET to find a man that is healed enough to be completely authentic tho! I find most are complete narcissists &/or have mother/father wounds that they are too proud to seek therapy for... Yes I attract these men & I am in therapy to heal & recognize these traits earlier on but it doesn't make it an easier putting yourself out there ALL the time & being authentic ALL the time. I am not fond of wasting my time like that when dating... My HOPE is that more men see this & choose this honest path but let's keep it real😂
Paint different parts of your body to change your natural looks and then give moralizing discourse about authenticity. Let's talk about real.😂😂😂😂
@@carlyofearth 😂😂😂
The level of delusional thinking 😂😂😂
Expecting that you just wait, while a good man comes to you to prove himself. 😂😂😂 Dream on, dream on. You're under the spell of stories about princesses waiting in a tower for the prince to come and rescue her. 😂😂😂😂 Dream on, dream on. 😂😂😂 You are just looking for justification to cover up your low self esteem. 🤷
And based on your own (i)logic thinking, why would a "good man" want to look for you, if he doesn't need you for nothing? 😂😂😂
Dream on, dream on 😂😂😂
@@carlyofearth I agree completely! Another reason I am in therapy! I have had traumas galore & after my true awakening I see a wonder life/spiritual/naturalist Shaman on top of licensed therapy! I'm not dating now. Im actually learning to heal Long Haul Covid that's caused MANY chronic debilitating issues that happened JUST before I "woke up"(sorry if you don't know what I mean I have a hard time explaining still). So until I heal emotionally/spiritually(& somewhat physically) ya girl(43 btw) is not dealing w/no mens lol TYSM for your comment/guidance!🤗💜🤗
So your trauma are painful and a mans trauma is funny 😂😂😂 @@emj1768
Your said: "Yes I attract these men"
No. That is false. All kind of men are attracted to all kinds of women. However, you (and all women) reject most men immediately. The ones still in contention are all going to be similar, especially if your wounding is driving your attraction. Stop dodging accountability and admit that YOU CHOOSE broken men who are not authentic. You are not attracted to the ones that are authentic. Your attraxctions lead you astray. You also need to understand that men are trained from birth to be less than authentic. When young boys express emotions, they are punished, called sissys and so on. In particular, such men are shunned by women. The few men who, despite the incentives to be stoic and otherwise inauthentic, attempted to overcome this abusive training are probably going to be men you discard, because most women conflate authenticity and the ability to express a full range of emotions with weakness.
I am not saying it is easy to find what you seek. Most men are not authentic, but if you think you only attract such men, you will never take the steps to expand your ability to consider some of the men you have ignored. You blame us rather than your own mate selection processes. Most likely the men you seek are only to be found among the men you are currently ignoring.
I've been in relationship with men who were not compatible, exactly as Teal described... they were not interested in me at all. Noticing how fast paced i am in my actions and how action oriented i naturally am, they just chose to go with unemployed, more passive and submissive, non-confrontational women. So if i happen to date again, i'll check that the man feels ok with my speed and energy levels... and if he's ok with me being a successful person... Don't underestimate this ! If a man is insecure about himself or his status and you are not, he will resent you for that. Guaranteed.
Thank you for talking abou this. The twitter comment section is totally the opposite of this.. so many comment saying "but women change too after they get into relationship". Hmmm.
Thank you for calling those people out, spreading dodgy ideas for dating.💯 You spoke on everything that I’ve been thinking about. People need to be more real with themselves & with others to in turn, experience real love.
If I watched a Video like this one some years ago, my life would have been way better
Exactly on point, Teal.
I have fought over this for years.
I want to be authentic the whole time, though it makes me feel that being The Gentleman is nothing more than a man of cultural and societal 'compliance'.
This reminds me of your article, _The Value Realisation._
This was one of your most helpful clear concise talks. Thanks for your ease and effort. Question ⁉️ How do women then navigate now knowing this? Encourage authentic behavior, or know hes presenting his best temporary self, or pace observe for truth? Whats a girl to do?? Ideas....mmh❤
You understand that persona is what we call overlay and if we are all being honest here, like really honest, there is almost none without a persona.
Clear as crystal.
This has helped me a lot to go through a breakup. It definitely decribes what happened with my ex and I'm glad it's over...
This is actually top tier video. It was obvious for me since I was I puberty and I never played that game but it was breaking my hearth seeing decent girls I liked getting tricked but it blame on them that their are rather allways descent into sweet illusion than face the reality. This 3-6 months cycle are some girls are able to repeat like from 13yo into late 40's and never realise it. Men goal of getting a relationship is allways to get laid a women should know that. If realise how artifical and boring is "dating" and sex I started to wanting love which isn't a thing I can hunt or tame.
Wow….ive been with my husband for 44 years, and I must say, he never did any of those things, but that is what attracted me to him, besides him being hot😁😆
His habits are still the same…..he is the most materially generous person while being inconsiderate at some levels, but he was always genuine…….i knew I was getting the real deal….
I’m not always “in love” with hm, but my trust and respect for him has never faltered
Being authentic has always been impossible for me. Broken personality and zero self esteem from a lifetime of psychological abuse makes hunting the only option (Other than being alone which is where I am now, possibly forever). Great vid very accurate. I instinctively have a profilers instincts and seduction is based on that. Watching your vids and trying to learn to be a better human. thanks for your efforts.
You got this!!@ you already so many steps ahead those who haven't even realized this truth about themselves. The hardest relationship you can actually have is with your self. Requires the MOST intimacy. But if you can be intimate with yourself, truly sit with your darkness , able to see your own light, you can unconditionally gift that to others as well.
It's the hardest journey there is, but brings about the most beautiful gifts. Gift of love 🙏💛🫂✨️
Be yourself, be authentic, yes agreed, both for women and men though.
100% percent true, I felt like I was duped a lot of times in that way and it really brought unnecessary pain to both sides.
This story happened to me to a t. Just the dancing part was something else. Now I‘m much smarter and quicker at pointing out the tricksters. I also have compassion for them, cause I was selling myself as someone else before too. A big mess all together. Never again🤦🏻♀️
Funnily enough I think this also applies to work and careers, but the world doesn't suggest that you 'just focus on your own passions and interests and it'll all work out in the end', no it tells you to knuckle down, study, commit, ignore your own interests for a while and keep that goal in mind until it all eventually pays off.
It seems a lot of women value the men who have that attitude when it comes to work but then are disturbed when that same attitude inevitably leaks into their approach to relationships. I think the problem is bigger than people are giving credit.
That's a good point!
I think someone's approach to work and family sort of indicates their approach to relationships in general, so it's good to observe that.
I notice a woman's work ethic and I feel more comfortable with women who have a positive attitude to their work, they show up reliably, try to do a good job and don't mind putting the work in, and they are loyal.
When a woman is flaky, lazy, and entitled at work and sees it is disposable until she finds the next better job, it makes me feel unsafe to get into a relationship with her.
When I start a job, I see it as my new family (maybe because I grew up in a family business which is where I developed my work ethic)
The flip always involves “control” as men get further into the relationship and experience fear of the deep feelings that he might have for the partner. Thus they seek to control what they feel creates the fear.
yep, they have a compulsion of trying to control and suppress the very things they’re attracted to. Some do it subconsciously but a lot of them are intentionally trying to “tame” and overcome a woman they feel is superior in some way. Then once you become a shell of yourself to please them, they leave and run to another woman that is the spitting opposite of you! (or the mirror of who you were/had the potential to be). sooooo crazy
Such an insightful video! Love this topic. As a gay man my way around this is to not date. Getting to know people as friends first removes this act ppl put on and you can then get to know someone in a MUCH more authentic way.
Not to say this doesnt get tricky, the problem to face with this approach later is changing the gears over to something romantic. But I think these challenges are far more easier to face than looking at your partner several months later and realizing they are completely different from when you met them.
“Never stop courting”, I said this recently but in a different way.
Get the girl, now keep the girl. The journey should never end. The insane fulfillment you get from the love and affection of a GOOD woman can not be replicated by anything else.
THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE
Nothing is 1000%
I’m so happy to have found you. I love your calm presentation like we’re having coffee together. Some holler and it’s so annoying so I shut it off. You’re on spot with your knowledge.
I would pay to be in your audience
Thank you Teal!
You have put words to everything that I have wanted to say.
❤
Wow ! I thought I was being irrational or childish by expecting my man to continue showing his interest like he was perfectly doing during our first two months, now that he seems comfortable since we're together.. thank you so much Teal for proving me wrong and demonstrating how what I felt was true for so many ! You have no idea how much this soothes my heart ❤
I love you so much 😘 I fall asleep listening to you on Spotify...your voice is soothing and calming
I’ve always just been myself and If a woman likes that great, if they don’t, no big deal. It must work because I’ve been in a relationship for 17+ years and still going strong.
Thank you.
Please, can you also explain why married men are all over dating apps and lying and cheating?
You are so wise. Things like this should taught to high school students.
Precisely. Been expressing exasperation about this for years. So annoying. But totally understandable given our conditioning. I feel for everyone. We ALL need to upgrade our transparency. I dated a man for five months before he said “I love you.” As soon as I said it back, he was on to the next. It was traumatic to say the least. It brings out my inner Kali. ;))
Rule #1 Chad & Tyron never say "I love you".
I’m so sorry. 😢
"Different to" is kind of weird. "Different than" or "different from" seems less awkward. "Carefully crafted an overlay to sleep with" is a really great line. Good video.
This does not only apply to men though.
The tropes of the nagging wife or the dead bedroom aren't pulled out of thin air, and stembfrom the same issue: change of behaviour arfter getting what they want: commitment.
Thanks again!
Who would want to go to bed with a stranger who just flipped and became someone else though?
That's scary and this comment just sounds like entitlement to sex without providing safety. Have you asked women in your life about this?? If you're to be trusted, they'll tell you.
This video put to words what I've been feeling so long, which is partially why I've been single for so long. Working on myself has been a priority and also avoiding inauthentic relationships is something I've been avoiding for years. Someone being attractive just isn't enough to justify dating them, people are full of problems and your gonna take some of them on when dating. So you have to choose wisely and chose based on compatibility of their character otherwise you are gonna have to deal with a major imbalance, the saving grace of all of their negative traits is all of the things you like about their good traits, if you cannot figure out what their good personality traits are when you date them it's not gonna last when their negative traits come out, there is no balance in that and it will fall apart and the relationships that do will not fall apart in the cleanest way.
I've been frustrated with men and dating in general right now… it feels like Teal and Universe heard me out 😂
Sounds like a you problem. Learn to accept as they are, not what they should be.
And she helped you how? Convince you it is not a "you" problem and men are at fault?
Seems like the men in the comments also took offense to other men’s BS. If you are confident in who you are as a man, then what other men do would elect a different reaction and response from you instead of taking it out on a random internet lady. Have a good day gentlemen and remember to be kind to yourself and others. 😉 👍
Men r not perfct so is women relax @@alexis-hunter
@@Francisays OP comment is just one example of why this content is bad. Teal named this behavior "worst and most common that men have". Title of the video is a click bait for the validation seeking women. This behavior is cross gender, not only men do this. Not helping the situation at all.
Hey, I'm a man and I love what you say, extremely high value and needed to be heard, I feel more than ever on the right track hearing all of this, even if it tastes “harder“ on the short term
But who cares :)