I became aware of her channel several years ago but with this video she proved her genius again. She may not be a scientist or a psychologist but what she says is often valid and accurate thus helpful. Insightful to say the least, genius is not an overstatement, it is accurate. So many people doesn't understand that the root cause of anger outbursts is feeling disempowement, feeling helpless. Your ego then wants to do something about it, or with non-spiritual language, you go into a fight or flight response.
I just told my friend this morning that I’ve felt so angry and filled with rage this year. And my rage is a result of my feeling disempowered and powerless right now. I am in a situation that is causing me emotional, mental, and spiritual pain. For the last six months I have become proactive to change my situation, however every action I’ve taken has ended in failure and has caused me to feel even more powerless, and thus, even angrier. I feel stuck and unable to move forward. Thank you for this video. 🙏
I hope your anger will give you energy that you can use to move forward. I will try to change my sadness and hopelessness into anger, so I also can move forward
@@hanaboskova change did come three months ago! Thank you so much! And the change came unexpectedly and quickly. I am now out of the situation that was causing me so much pain and anger. I’m in a much healthier place and I’m so grateful. But I am just now realizing the toll that the last four years took on my physical body, and I’m trying to address that now. But at least now I DO have the time and freedom to address the issues. I’m sorry I lost 4 years of my life, but I guess as the saying goes, “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. 🙏
Sometimes anger is just what you need to feel to get you out of a situation that no longer works for you, and then you can start making positive choices and changes that will create happiness
One thing I've learned is that speaking to someone directly about boundary violations rarely solves the problem. If it's at work, or with neighbors, always keep a record of the violation and how you addressed it. This would probably be helpful with "friends" as well, because you could look back and see repeated patterns, but it can be essential in circumstances where legal action may be required. Whether you jot the time and description on your calendar, journal it, or make a voice note on your phone, you'll be glad you have a record. This is an empowering action, and it's usually when you feel disempowered that it is easy to either fly off the handle or start whining to everyone who will listen, neither of which will solve your problem.
This is BRILLIANT! It ALSO underlines why anger is such a massive aspect of grief, especially the loss of somebody close through death or divorce. Because of the powerlessness and unworkability of these grief situations, it makes total sense that anger is a massive theme. Also, so hard for grieving people who end up getting judged at a time when they so desperately need connection 😢
I feel powerless at times because I don't have the fortitude to stand up to overbearing people and clickish groups. In groups there are often people who want to stifle others they deem a threat to their own power. They may be irritated by a trait, personality, or belief that someone else has, and the feeling might be mutual. You can get a toxic polarity where just by one person talking the other feels like they can't talk and vice versa. Gossip and backstabbing often ensues.
I deal with this you mentioned in 20 years as a technician in a prestigious car dealer environent. I watch as behaviour above turns into sabotage by character or your work,there is one solution is to leave. The point is,myself and my sister had a very tough upbringing loosing our parents young and cancer in the family divorce,abuse etc and yet,I still feel I am lucky than most and I Have no plan b tomfall back on if my job goes,the people I spoke about all have a well to do mother and father etc... I am a hard worker,a no surrender attitude and it's my spirit that irritates there demons,calm is mastery as Bruce Lee once said.take care
I have been in this situation 🙏🏽 I was in a Woman's Circle, and the "leader" began bullying me, and turned people against me. I was stunned and frozen inside. It went on for months, I didn't know how to handle it.. I would just be really still, and quietly stick up for myself. The group eventually ganged up and voted me to leave the group. Even though I never hurt harmed or intended badly toward a single person. I was just different, and really quiet. And had good ideas that the "leader" felt threatened by. I wish I could have understood what was happening and playing out there. I was too in shock, and had never meant harm toward anyone, to be able to grasp what was being done to me.
I have never heard anything more accurate. This makes so much sense to me wow. I heard a theory about anger being a cover for sadness but never this. The people who would comment on my anger have been the people who made me feel trapped in an unworkable situation for the longest time. This is super helpful!! Thank you❤
you just wanted to hear this, which doesnt make it accurate in reality, but only in your head. Never forget this is not medical expert opinion or anything like that, this is just a life coach talk.
@@lunalane ah yes, the "medical" expert opinion. totally whats the most fitting here. its like "medic" has become the god and the panacea of higher-than-thou people in the modern age.
Growing up with a father who had chronic rage issues, and a mother who was so loving but suffered severe chronic health issues- I always felt like what good does anger do? All it does is hurt others, usually the people you love. So, I always felt as though it was better to be sad, or hurt than angry. However, I ended up chroniclly ill myself, by my late 30's, due to constantly repressing my own anger. I have been slowly learning that being angry and feeling angry is NOT the same thing as toxic, volatile ways of expressing you anger, or as she explains "resisting your anger" which leads to blowing up, rage, throwing angry tantrums, etc. Nowadays, I do not see sadness or anger to be better than the other, but two completely different and healthy emotions. The emotions themselves are not inherent negative, or unhealthy. Rather, it is the way that we reapond (instead of reacting), relate to, and express the emotions that defines whether or not the behavior is healthy.
For those who lack anger, still watch this. There’s a very intense mental buffer preventing you from feeling that flip to anger. Also keep in mind, just because you’re reacting to something does not mean that it is anger - it’s just a reaction.
You cant be more right ! When u cant even feel these basic human emotions you have locked yourself away from them with a reason . Find the reason or one day you will suffer ..
This is so important. Whenever an emotion arises, also anger, I sit with it and ask myself what it tells me about my personal truth. From that point I automatically get the answer what to do about it. As someone who repressed anger a lot, this helped me immensly. Thank you Teal & your team
@@LoveDancingLoveSinging It is great! I learned to do this from reading Teal Swans books :) It has so many benefits. You learn something about yourself, your can act more in alignment with your values, and you get a healthy relationship to all of your emotions. It feels very natural to me nowadays.
Absolutely true! All you have to do is sit for a moment and breathe some deep diaphragmatic breath and the perceptual shift and the answers you need come right in because you've now allowed space for that.. Your guides and angels and ancestors were always waiting to speak to you ..your Higher self/ intuition. We just haven't been listening enough..
Hey Christina. So for example, if I get bothered when someone who i live with keeps knocking on my bedroom door and in general is a bit too clingy, is that telling me that I like my solitude and privacy?
@@IronFist2508 It could tell you a lot. Maybe a need for privacy, but maybe also that you need to communicate boundaries better. Maybe also "unhealthy" privacy, because you avoid too much connection. It could be a lot. When you sit with your anger right in the moment it happens, you will notice where it is directed. Sometimes when we get mad at others, we actually get mad at ourselves, but don't want it to be true! The answer will come automactially when you sit with the emotion and go deeper into the "why".
No wonder I had so much hidden anger - I grew up feeling completely powerless and unsafe due to abusive, neglectful parents who abandoned me. Couple that with fear of confrontation, setting boundaries, fear of my own anger and angry people in general, and it was a recipe for disaster. This was extremely eye opening for me!
I had so much anger. As I learned to honor and love my inner child, I was able to let it go. now anger seems so far away from my emotions. honoring and truly loving your being, being connected to your higher self, can and WILL change you to seek Love over any Fear. ❤❤❤
And how did you ' love and honor' your inner child..... You hear this all the time, over and over, and then you hear what they did, or do, and its like cool that seeme dto work for you, but has no real impact and are empty words repeated over and over with no real meaning. Love the inner child. got it.
@@lalareal180 i know 🙏🏽 its a challenging concept, and difficult to grasp, as many are. 🙏🏽 I understand your frustration. My favorite are: Just Be "Yourself" ~~ whatever that means -and- Have "Boundaries" ?!?!???? 🙏🏽 good luck! It seems to be a long road~~ but just keep listening/reading what different people have to say on each concept, slowly a picture starts to take form within yourself. 🙏🏽 the best we can do is try to be kind & patient with ourselves along the way. The anger and frustration we feel, is actually toward ourselves, and is what they mean by loving your inner child~~ you can't get angry at a child who doesn't understand 🙏🏽 must be patient and kind and willing, to be on the journey with them 🙏🏽 and if they don't get it? Keep loving them and enjoying them anyway, and continue focusing on and bringing out the strengths they do have 🙏🏽 so often this is the love acceptance support we did not recieve as children, and what each of us so desperately needs 🙏🏽 from ourselves* first 🙏🏽 Bless you, may you blessed with generous miracles of Light
I think it's important to differentiate anger and rage. As you say, anger can be an adaptive response to the experience of having your boundaries crossed or being mistreated. Rage is much deeper and more complex. Rage often speaks to a build-up of unexpressed emotions and boundaries. Rage is also very often related to feelings of shame and powerlessness. Parts work is great way to explore emotions such as rage, however this should be done with a licensed psychotherapist who is proficient in the modality of Internal Family Systems.
@Singing-in-the-Open I relate to this. Growing up with a father who had chronic rage issues, I always felt like what good does anger do? All it does is hurt others, usually the people you love. However, I ended up chroniclly due to repressing my anger. And now, I have been slowly learning that being angry and feeling angry is NOT the same thing as toxic, volatile ways of expressing you anger, or as she explains "resisting your anger" which leads to blowing up, rage, throwing angry tantrums, etc. Nowadays, I do not see sadness or anger to be better than the other, but two completely different and healthy emotions. The emotions themselves are not inherent negative, or unhealthy. Rather, it is the way that we reapond (instead of reacting), relate to, and express the emotions that defines whether or not the behavior is healthy. I hope that you all find peace, purpose and passion. Namaste 🙏❤️🔥
How does it feel to be Teal Swan? How can you be so incredibly intelligent and just so aaaa amazing? Oh thank you always, every day thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
In childhood I was not allowed to feel anger, I was beaten up if I did, called bad, and bad means you burn in hell, according to my mom. Surpassed anger cause all anger issues. I truly wish we have no religion on the planet and only loving parents ❤
I hope you have a Spooky2 Rife machine. The track record for Rife stands at 100% remission with no adverse side affects. The central plasma unit is awesome!
Let me the guess. Was it the realization that not everything is worth getting so angry especially with how short life can be and how easily everything can be taken away?
I don’t think most people struggle with their expression of anger rather they struggle with suppression..i can handle someone who’s screaming but won’t stick around with a volatile passive aggressive silent monster
Boundary keeps popping up for me today. I also found out my name originally meant boundary. I’ve been learning to create or enforce boundary my whole life.
This is so, so good. As someone whose struggled with "rage" most of my adult life, I've dived into that and realized where it came from. In my case, it is very obvious. So, that helps me see, my anger is most often about feeling unseen, unheard, and uncared for, which are all childhood fears from how I was raised. Still though, it's the moment-to-moment decisions I make now, that make the most difference. The "stage" in my development that I find myself now is, when I DO get "angry," I am quick to recognize it. Name it. Understand it. Whereas, for many years, it just felt "justified". Thanks, Teal. You're very articulate and wise, and I appreciate it.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🧡 Understanding and regulating anger is essential, especially if you feel envy towards those who seem to manage their anger better. 02:01 🙌 People who don't struggle with anger understand their anger, let themselves feel it, and take empowered actions based on personal truths behind their anger. 03:08 💥 The root of anger is perceived powerlessness and unworkability; changing the situation to regain a sense of empowerment is key to managing anger. 05:52 😡 Anger often arises from feeling powerless and can be a response to perceived threats, not just hurt or fear. 09:47 🚧 Chronic anger may result from failing to enforce boundaries and consequences, relying solely on escalating anger. 10:13 🔄 Work with the part of you that invalidates your anger to integrate and work with your anger more effectively. 11:09 👀 To regulate anger, feel the sensations inside your body, identify what made you feel threatened, and explore what seems unworkable in the situation. 13:21 🤔 Focus on taking empowered actions by recognizing your power in the situation and strategizing how to make it workable, or accepting it if it truly isn't. 14:59 ✅ Anger is a self-preservation impulse; consciously turn this impulse into a process to restore empowerment in your life.
..lol...so true. I try. But fail alot. Three day rule. Wait 3 days to say something... sometimes, wait, to do or buy. It's crazy, how many times 99% I can't even recall ( emotionally ) WHY
that probably got people in those situations to begin with. anger tells you where your boundaries are. enforce them because it will invite a lack of respect and hostility.
Oh man I am a master at suppressing/masking my anger but it comes at a cost. This video helps point out a lot of steps I could be taking in place of masking it. Cheers to all the people who struggle to share their anger. You’re not alone but this isn’t the only way.
Thank you for the steps! My challenge is to express the anger in a healthy way instead of suppressing og detaching from it. These steps really resonated with me too! So helpful!
Love you Teal ❤. I truly appreciate the way you deliver your messages using examples and breaking them down. Thank you for sharing your extremely high I.Q. level for the betterment of humanity humanity as a whole. Thank you so much you are truly a gift. Keep up the extremely Excellent job. ❤🎉
The thing is just because you set boundaries doesn't mean people will follow them, and as a result makes people more angry. So the answer is cut yourself off from them.
Thank you so much... when truth shines, light appears. You have helped me understand my anger, the result of the feeling of my kindness being "abused". I need to stop being kind "at any price". Why do I behave this way ? Because my mother was so, and I learned to mimic her.
Amazing. This topic has been very much in my life for quite a while, especially the last few years as I have been on my journey into healing. Thank you for this.
I'd love to hear more about "consequences" for boundaries. What does that look like without getting to manipulation? I look at boundaries more as being about what I will and won't do than what I expect from others. Ie, I won't live in a state of constant emotional activation/distress, so if someone is causing me that I will draw back my level of engagement with them.
That's exactly how I handle boundaries as well, so as to not venture into the realm of manipulation. While I've heard that that's how they should be enforced, I would find it immensely helpful to learn to enact consequences without manipulation, if possible.
Funny timing, gotta love synchronicity. I have a serious freakin temper and had a couple bad outbursts recently. I've spent a lot of time and effort working on controlling my anger and not being a slave to it, and clearly I still have work to and am not even close to immune to those outbursts still. Thank you for this video
Wow! I just woke up from a dream where I chose specifically what to be morally outraged about with the energies that were present and intrusive..🫷then my friends and family gave applause in an acceptable way. 🗣 Although the dream was similar to an old Jerry Springer episode 😂.. everyone was relieved and trusted the new energy because our environment was now safer and more secure for all. The opposition coming from the abuser was gaining momentum and causing unnecessary suffering.. The violent uncertainties were diffused and finally washed out to clear the air as well. Thank you! Thank God! 🙌 🫂
Note to self.. Dude, this is a testimony of your progress in faith with spirit. You have more than a therapeutic alliance that's not a fantasy anymore. That's confirmation 🥲🪶
This video made me realize that in my case ,I get very angry when I'm defied by people that are way weaker than me It's like I get angry for daring defying me when there is no way they can defeat me If it's a stronger rival I don"t get so angry
Teal, you're the best 🙏🏽 we are so lucky to have you in our lives. Thank you for all your work, and discipline, and humor, and compassion, and honesty 🙏🏽 and beauty and Love. 💙🌌🔮🌌💙
Oh and again thank you Teal, I struggle with being angry and not keeping, asserting my boundaries and create consequences for them being not respected. I will do parts work with the part of me that doesn t like to be angry. It s interesting because when I was child i didn t like my mother getting angry all the time, on everybody. I even thought sometimes her anger has a big role on my parents getting a divorce, even though I called it out, because dad was agressive with her. It s a mingle wingle my childhood.. And I feel I have so many things to recover from abandonament and emeshment trauma. Ah..ok now that this is out wanted to express again my gratefulness for your work thank you from my heart❤
I had explosive ptsd for years after a childhood where anger had to be suppressed. I lost many jobs because people couldn't handle the heat. My rule now is that I know anything that makes me angry means no matter how much I dominate and fight the situation, I will be crying in the end and finding the root cause of my anger. So I just go with the flow but never skip the expression of anger because every layer needs to be processed in the body.
I suffer from anger. I have such a sweet and outgoing personality and will do anything for anyone without anything in return. But when I’m angered, which can be triggered quickly, I explode. And I say horrible, mean, and hurtful things to those around me to make them feel as bad as they have made me feel. I feel I use anger as a means to hide the fact that my feelings have been hurt. And I shoot to kill with my words back to whoever has upset me. Generally, it’s ones the closest to me and the ones I love the most
I totally relate to being the harshest to those I love the most. I guess it's because the stakes are higher for our ego. Reading your experience, I wonder if you are being too generous and polite for too long with people (in an attempt to get them to love you). But in the process so many of your boundaries get crossed by you and others until it sort of fizzes over and you have to tell them everything. I could be wrong... but that's what I thought when I read your comment. Maybe you don't have to let your boundaries be crossed and do so much for others for you to be loved and appreciated and valued!
Somehow I have figured out that if I stop being affected and change the rules it feels a lot better. For example I can say "If you want it this way I will not follow in your path. I will then not take responsibility for your actions since I can see that you will not make me to decide anything". This can be a real game changer and the other part will do something to cooperate. We will then gain power instead of loosing it.
I already knew that I have anger issues, so I am prone to rage when I feel hurt or disrespected or powerless. But I didn’t realize that there’s a key to changing the cycle. I have had a few different types of therapy but they haven’t really addressed the idea that I’m not making empowering decisions to create boundaries, I’m just hoping my anger will move other people to changing. I always felt like anger was so “empowering” but I see it’s because I feel like I’m struggling and can’t get out of something. I’m not admitting to myself that I have a need at the very core of my feeling anger. I rage because I won’t leave, I won’t look for better “fits” in my life that would actually be able to meet my needs.
I feel powerless anger when I see violence, rape, torture. What can I do? I feel like I could take a weapon and end it. But it's not a right thing to do. Today I was reading about rapes that happen each time any troops march through an enemy's territory. What would I do if I was there? How could I stop and think about my situation? I don't know and it makes me anxious and angry. The work example was very good. I have a similar situation at work, meaning my boss is awful and we, employees, get mad at her but do nothing, out of fear we wouldn't find another job. Because we are bad at searching and appreciating our skills. Yes, we should change and stop with the anger. If we knew we could easily change jobs tomorrow, we wouldn't be so angry, right? We weren't appreciated at home, but we must learn to appreciate ourselves to stop with the hopelessness and anger.
I experience unbelievable rage, where I want to hurt myself and destroy everything around me. I've always likened my rage to an inferno that I've sealed away in the basement. When I attempt to open the door to explore it, I am knocked back by such a violent heatwave, I have to close the door rapidly, and I have no clue how to deal with it. My mission for years has been to embrace emotion. My life has transformed irreversibly since taking the "bad" out of emotions and learning to love and hold them. But my anger is the one emotion I have no clue how to deal with, because I quite literally fear hurting myself and others when I attempt to be with it. I apologize frequently to my anger, for locking it away, for never allowing it to flow and be free. I feel upset that there is an aspect within me that it begging to be let out, and I feel cruel to keep it shackled.
I learned to “resolve” my anger “issues” when I was a kid, so I’m going on 30+ years and I don’t know that I’ve ever genuinely expressed my anger to anyone who’s made me angry! Ever! Woohoo! Love it here!
Take it from a guy who has huge anger problems. In my case my anger is a self defense mental stage where i blacked out and just lose total control and won't realize what is happening. When you get to hate everything and everyone you'll figure that the best solution is to stay away from everyone. I became a truck driver so i wouldn't have to deal with people and i can enjoy my personal peace without being disturbed or be trigger by anyone. Now in answer the questions about where and how my anger came from, i hold to the last urge to get my payback as soon as i can
Wow I need someone like this in my life. My mom was single and horrible and I'm dysphoric bipolar. My anger is immeasurable. I didn't know why I was different from everyone else. Until I went effectively catatonic at work one day. My mind couldn't keep the rage contained anymore after so many years. I'd love to not be angry at some point.
My issue is that I don’t feel like my family tries to understand me… they point at me for being angry while they never discuss why i act like that. Maybe it’s because the way how threat me perhaps? Mostly it’s because I’m hurt but when i say it these things get used against me so it just puts more oil to the flames because you don’t expect that from the people who should love you…
That’s a brutal situation, and the sooner you meet your kind of kindred souls, the better for your soul 🩷 The richest family members (rich in sanity and love) don’t have to be blood related.
“He actually subconsciously gets something out of braking his words and dropping his responsibilities: not feeling alone” That hit.. I’m curious, can this also apply to the responsibilities you put on yourself - for yourself? Could it be that when I procrastinate and feel powerless that subconsciously I seek the ‘support’ of my angry voice that at least strives for the things I wish to accomplish and brings (raging) energy to it?
Nope, you are just lazy. This has nothing to do with feeling or being alone. Your brain is just not in order and you are seeking excuses on why to procrastinate. Just make order in your life, make a list of actions, start excercising, clean your room, eat healthy and do a step after step in order to get rid of procrastination. There is a reason why you dont see those things in the army.
I will repeat watching this until it becomes a new habit... because I constantly bump into people, who are basically James... :D over n over n over again.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
If you suffer with anger issues, you know that embarrassment & shame comes along with it.
Every time.
😢
I became aware of her channel several years ago but with this video she proved her genius again. She may not be a scientist or a psychologist but what she says is often valid and accurate thus helpful. Insightful to say the least, genius is not an overstatement, it is accurate. So many people doesn't understand that the root cause of anger outbursts is feeling disempowement, feeling helpless. Your ego then wants to do something about it, or with non-spiritual language, you go into a fight or flight response.
This! So true
Genius is not an overstatement 👍
"Your ego then wants to do something about it, or with non-spiritual language, you go into a fight or flight response."
This exactly.
I just told my friend this morning that I’ve felt so angry and filled with rage this year. And my rage is a result of my feeling disempowered and powerless right now. I am in a situation that is causing me emotional, mental, and spiritual pain. For the last six months I have become proactive to change my situation, however every action I’ve taken has ended in failure and has caused me to feel even more powerless, and thus, even angrier. I feel stuck and unable to move forward. Thank you for this video. 🙏
I hope your anger will give you energy that you can use to move forward. I will try to change my sadness and hopelessness into anger, so I also can move forward
Keep doing whatever you are doing, changes will catch you up later, I promise
@@hanaboskova change did come three months ago! Thank you so much! And the change came unexpectedly and quickly. I am now out of the situation that was causing me so much pain and anger. I’m in a much healthier place and I’m so grateful.
But I am just now realizing the toll that the last four years took on my physical body, and I’m trying to address that now. But at least now I DO have the time and freedom to address the issues. I’m sorry I lost 4 years of my life, but I guess as the saying goes, “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. 🙏
Sometimes anger is just what you need to feel to get you out of a situation that no longer works for you, and then you can start making positive choices and changes that will create happiness
One thing I've learned is that speaking to someone directly about boundary violations rarely solves the problem. If it's at work, or with neighbors, always keep a record of the violation and how you addressed it. This would probably be helpful with "friends" as well, because you could look back and see repeated patterns, but it can be essential in circumstances where legal action may be required. Whether you jot the time and description on your calendar, journal it, or make a voice note on your phone, you'll be glad you have a record.
This is an empowering action, and it's usually when you feel disempowered that it is easy to either fly off the handle or start whining to everyone who will listen, neither of which will solve your problem.
This is BRILLIANT! It ALSO underlines why anger is such a massive aspect of grief, especially the loss of somebody close through death or divorce. Because of the powerlessness and unworkability of these grief situations, it makes total sense that anger is a massive theme. Also, so hard for grieving people who end up getting judged at a time when they so desperately need connection 😢
I feel powerless at times because I don't have the fortitude to stand up to overbearing people and clickish groups. In groups there are often people who want to stifle others they deem a threat to their own power. They may be irritated by a trait, personality, or belief that someone else has, and the feeling might be mutual. You can get a toxic polarity where just by one person talking the other feels like they can't talk and vice versa. Gossip and backstabbing often ensues.
I deal with this you mentioned in 20 years as a technician in a prestigious car dealer environent.
I watch as behaviour above turns into sabotage by character or your work,there is one solution is to leave.
The point is,myself and my sister had a very tough upbringing loosing our parents young and cancer in the family divorce,abuse etc and yet,I still feel I am lucky than most and I
Have no plan b tomfall back on if my job goes,the people I spoke about all have a well to do mother and father etc... I am a hard worker,a no surrender attitude and it's my spirit that irritates there demons,calm is mastery as Bruce Lee once said.take care
I have been in this situation 🙏🏽
I was in a Woman's Circle, and the "leader" began bullying me, and turned people against me. I was stunned and frozen inside. It went on for months, I didn't know how to handle it.. I would just be really still, and quietly stick up for myself.
The group eventually ganged up and voted me to leave the group. Even though I never hurt harmed or intended badly toward a single person. I was just different, and really quiet. And had good ideas that the "leader" felt threatened by.
I wish I could have understood what was happening and playing out there. I was too in shock, and had never meant harm toward anyone, to be able to grasp what was being done to me.
I have never heard anything more accurate. This makes so much sense to me wow. I heard a theory about anger being a cover for sadness but never this. The people who would comment on my anger have been the people who made me feel trapped in an unworkable situation for the longest time.
This is super helpful!! Thank you❤
you just wanted to hear this, which doesnt make it accurate in reality, but only in your head. Never forget this is not medical expert opinion or anything like that, this is just a life coach talk.
@@lunalane ah yes, the "medical" expert opinion. totally whats the most fitting here. its like "medic" has become the god and the panacea of higher-than-thou people in the modern age.
Growing up with a father who had chronic rage issues, and a mother who was so loving but suffered severe chronic health issues- I always felt like what good does anger do? All it does is hurt others, usually the people you love. So, I always felt as though it was better to be sad, or hurt than angry.
However, I ended up chroniclly ill myself, by my late 30's, due to constantly repressing my own anger.
I have been slowly learning that being angry and feeling angry is NOT the same thing as toxic, volatile ways of expressing you anger, or as she explains "resisting your anger" which leads to blowing up, rage, throwing angry tantrums, etc.
Nowadays, I do not see sadness or anger to be better than the other, but two completely different and healthy emotions. The emotions themselves are not inherent negative, or unhealthy.
Rather, it is the way that we reapond (instead of reacting), relate to, and express the emotions that defines whether or not the behavior is healthy.
For those who lack anger, still watch this. There’s a very intense mental buffer preventing you from feeling that flip to anger. Also keep in mind, just because you’re reacting to something does not mean that it is anger - it’s just a reaction.
I second this! I specifically watched this video because i knew i lacked anger.
You cant be more right ! When u cant even feel these basic human emotions you have locked yourself away from them with a reason . Find the reason or one day you will suffer ..
@@jeffroth5739seriously!
This is so important. Whenever an emotion arises, also anger, I sit with it and ask myself what it tells me about my personal truth. From that point I automatically get the answer what to do about it. As someone who repressed anger a lot, this helped me immensly. Thank you Teal & your team
Thank you too Christina! I got what you wrote and it might be helpful for me the next time that I feel angry and I don't know what to do with it.
@@LoveDancingLoveSinging It is great! I learned to do this from reading Teal Swans books :) It has so many benefits. You learn something about yourself, your can act more in alignment with your values, and you get a healthy relationship to all of your emotions. It feels very natural to me nowadays.
Absolutely true! All you have to do is sit for a moment and breathe some deep diaphragmatic breath and the perceptual shift and the answers you need come right in because you've now allowed space for that.. Your guides and angels and ancestors were always waiting to speak to you ..your Higher self/ intuition. We just haven't been listening enough..
Hey Christina. So for example, if I get bothered when someone who i live with keeps knocking on my bedroom door and in general is a bit too clingy, is that telling me that I like my solitude and privacy?
@@IronFist2508 It could tell you a lot. Maybe a need for privacy, but maybe also that you need to communicate boundaries better. Maybe also "unhealthy" privacy, because you avoid too much connection. It could be a lot. When you sit with your anger right in the moment it happens, you will notice where it is directed. Sometimes when we get mad at others, we actually get mad at ourselves, but don't want it to be true! The answer will come automactially when you sit with the emotion and go deeper into the "why".
No wonder I had so much hidden anger - I grew up feeling completely powerless and unsafe due to abusive, neglectful parents who abandoned me. Couple that with fear of confrontation, setting boundaries, fear of my own anger and angry people in general, and it was a recipe for disaster. This was extremely eye opening for me!
I had so much anger.
As I learned to honor and love my inner child, I was able to let it go. now anger seems so far away from my emotions.
honoring and truly loving your being, being connected to your higher self, can and WILL change you to seek Love over any Fear. ❤❤❤
Thank you 🩷
ThankYou🙏🏽
And how did you ' love and honor' your inner child..... You hear this all the time, over and over, and then you hear what they did, or do, and its like cool that seeme dto work for you, but has no real impact and are empty words repeated over and over with no real meaning. Love the inner child. got it.
@@lalareal180 i know 🙏🏽 its a challenging concept, and difficult to grasp, as many are. 🙏🏽 I understand your frustration.
My favorite are:
Just Be "Yourself" ~~ whatever that means
-and-
Have "Boundaries" ?!?!????
🙏🏽 good luck! It seems to be a long road~~ but just keep listening/reading what different people have to say on each concept, slowly a picture starts to take form within yourself. 🙏🏽 the best we can do is try to be kind & patient with ourselves along the way. The anger and frustration we feel, is actually toward ourselves, and is what they mean by loving your inner child~~ you can't get angry at a child who doesn't understand 🙏🏽 must be patient and kind and willing, to be on the journey with them 🙏🏽 and if they don't get it? Keep loving them and enjoying them anyway, and continue focusing on and bringing out the strengths they do have 🙏🏽 so often this is the love acceptance support we did not recieve as children, and what each of us so desperately needs 🙏🏽 from ourselves* first 🙏🏽
Bless you, may you blessed with generous miracles of Light
I think it's important to differentiate anger and rage. As you say, anger can be an adaptive response to the experience of having your boundaries crossed or being mistreated. Rage is much deeper and more complex. Rage often speaks to a build-up of unexpressed emotions and boundaries. Rage is also very often related to feelings of shame and powerlessness. Parts work is great way to explore emotions such as rage, however this should be done with a licensed psychotherapist who is proficient in the modality of Internal Family Systems.
I prefer to feel angry rather than feel sad or deppresed.
For me it is opposite! Sadness is easier because crying will help. But with anger what can you do?
To restore anger to a conscious empowering process instead of controlling it 😮🤯🪻 thanks so much Teal
Definitely feel better personally feeling sad than anger. With sadness i feel vulnerable, yet gentle and receptive. With anger, im a bulldozer. Lol
Two sides of the same coin😊Better to heal both
@Singing-in-the-Open I relate to this. Growing up with a father who had chronic rage issues, I always felt like what good does anger do? All it does is hurt others, usually the people you love. However, I ended up chroniclly due to repressing my anger. And now, I have been slowly learning that being angry and feeling angry is NOT the same thing as toxic, volatile ways of expressing you anger, or as she explains "resisting your anger" which leads to blowing up, rage, throwing angry tantrums, etc.
Nowadays, I do not see sadness or anger to be better than the other, but two completely different and healthy emotions. The emotions themselves are not inherent negative, or unhealthy.
Rather, it is the way that we reapond (instead of reacting), relate to, and express the emotions that defines whether or not the behavior is healthy.
I hope that you all find peace, purpose and passion. Namaste 🙏❤️🔥
How does it feel to be Teal Swan? How can you be so incredibly intelligent and just so aaaa amazing? Oh thank you always, every day thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yes🙏🏽
0:11 Thank You Teal 🙏🏼
0:14
0:21 Yes
0:52
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1:11 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Yesss
1:17 self betrayal
1:47 Anger is
2:19
2:27
3:13
3:38
3:48
3:56 I guess that's the cause of all my illness
4:09
5:11
5:55 protector
9:24
9:55 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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In childhood I was not allowed to feel anger, I was beaten up if I did, called bad, and bad means you burn in hell, according to my mom. Surpassed anger cause all anger issues. I truly wish we have no religion on the planet and only loving parents ❤
I used to be angry way too often. A divorce, and a lung cancer diagnosis cured me.
Wishing you the best ✨🙏
I hope you have a Spooky2 Rife machine. The track record for Rife stands at 100% remission with no adverse side affects. The central plasma unit is awesome!
Let me the guess. Was it the realization that not everything is worth getting so angry especially with how short life can be and how easily everything can be taken away?
I don’t think most people struggle with their expression of anger rather they struggle with suppression..i can handle someone who’s screaming but won’t stick around with a volatile passive aggressive silent monster
Boundary keeps popping up for me today. I also found out my name originally meant boundary. I’ve been learning to create or enforce boundary my whole life.
Thank you so much Teal.💫
This is great advise...i used to just get angry now i know why i dont tolerate disrespect, i dont accept some things.
I get angry very often, but yesterday when I watched this video I had the calmest day I had in years...thank you
This is so, so good. As someone whose struggled with "rage" most of my adult life, I've dived into that and realized where it came from. In my case, it is very obvious. So, that helps me see, my anger is most often about feeling unseen, unheard, and uncared for, which are all childhood fears from how I was raised.
Still though, it's the moment-to-moment decisions I make now, that make the most difference. The "stage" in my development that I find myself now is, when I DO get "angry," I am quick to recognize it. Name it. Understand it.
Whereas, for many years, it just felt "justified".
Thanks, Teal. You're very articulate and wise, and I appreciate it.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🧡 Understanding and regulating anger is essential, especially if you feel envy towards those who seem to manage their anger better.
02:01 🙌 People who don't struggle with anger understand their anger, let themselves feel it, and take empowered actions based on personal truths behind their anger.
03:08 💥 The root of anger is perceived powerlessness and unworkability; changing the situation to regain a sense of empowerment is key to managing anger.
05:52 😡 Anger often arises from feeling powerless and can be a response to perceived threats, not just hurt or fear.
09:47 🚧 Chronic anger may result from failing to enforce boundaries and consequences, relying solely on escalating anger.
10:13 🔄 Work with the part of you that invalidates your anger to integrate and work with your anger more effectively.
11:09 👀 To regulate anger, feel the sensations inside your body, identify what made you feel threatened, and explore what seems unworkable in the situation.
13:21 🤔 Focus on taking empowered actions by recognizing your power in the situation and strategizing how to make it workable, or accepting it if it truly isn't.
14:59 ✅ Anger is a self-preservation impulse; consciously turn this impulse into a process to restore empowerment in your life.
that was very concise ten years ago I would not have understood a word of it. today it has validated the last 10 years of my life
Whenever you feel angry, remember that in time these feelings will pass. Practice gratitude and compassion for other people.
..lol...so true. I try. But fail alot. Three day rule. Wait 3 days to say something... sometimes, wait, to do or buy. It's crazy, how many times 99% I can't even recall ( emotionally ) WHY
that probably got people in those situations to begin with. anger tells you where your boundaries are. enforce them because it will invite a lack of respect and hostility.
@@Chuck44442SAME haha my rule is to sleep on it and if I still feel angry the next day I say something
Well that's kinda puttin' it mildly .
Oh man I am a master at suppressing/masking my anger but it comes at a cost. This video helps point out a lot of steps I could be taking in place of masking it. Cheers to all the people who struggle to share their anger. You’re not alone but this isn’t the only way.
Thank you for the steps! My challenge is to express the anger in a healthy way instead of suppressing og detaching from it. These steps really resonated with me too! So helpful!
Profound, helped me yesterday in practice.
Love you Teal ❤. I truly appreciate the way you deliver your messages using examples and breaking them down. Thank you for sharing your extremely high I.Q. level for the betterment of humanity humanity as a whole. Thank you so much you are truly a gift. Keep up the extremely Excellent job. ❤🎉
Yes🙏🏽
coming from a family with generational explosive rage, this is revolutionary. thanks.
That jacket is everything.
The thing is just because you set boundaries doesn't mean people will follow them, and as a result makes people more angry. So the answer is cut yourself off from them.
Thank you Teal 🙏🏻!
Thank you so much... when truth shines, light appears. You have helped me understand my anger, the result of the feeling of my kindness being "abused". I need to stop being kind "at any price". Why do I behave this way ? Because my mother was so, and I learned to mimic her.
Thank You allot to digest - sibling rivalry is part of my anger plus how my parents dealt with my brother and I.
Thank you so much for this. More content like this please.
Amazing. This topic has been very much in my life for quite a while, especially the last few years as I have been on my journey into healing. Thank you for this.
Thank you so much
I'd love to hear more about "consequences" for boundaries. What does that look like without getting to manipulation? I look at boundaries more as being about what I will and won't do than what I expect from others. Ie, I won't live in a state of constant emotional activation/distress, so if someone is causing me that I will draw back my level of engagement with them.
That's exactly how I handle boundaries as well, so as to not venture into the realm of manipulation. While I've heard that that's how they should be enforced, I would find it immensely helpful to learn to enact consequences without manipulation, if possible.
Funny timing, gotta love synchronicity. I have a serious freakin temper and had a couple bad outbursts recently. I've spent a lot of time and effort working on controlling my anger and not being a slave to it, and clearly I still have work to and am not even close to immune to those outbursts still. Thank you for this video
Honestly 🤯 thank you Teal 🙏❤
Wow! I just woke up from a dream where I chose specifically what to be morally outraged about with the energies that were present and intrusive..🫷then my friends and family gave applause in an acceptable way. 🗣 Although the dream was similar to an old Jerry Springer episode 😂.. everyone was relieved and trusted the new energy because our environment was now safer and more secure for all. The opposition coming from the abuser was gaining momentum and causing unnecessary suffering.. The violent uncertainties were diffused and finally washed out to clear the air as well.
Thank you! Thank God! 🙌 🫂
Note to self..
Dude, this is a testimony of your progress in faith with spirit. You have more than a therapeutic alliance that's not a fantasy anymore. That's confirmation 🥲🪶
Thank you, very good. Great work
Awesome video! Thank you so much. Keep up the great work!
Her voice, really makes you want to listen
Teal, you are the best!
I'm sick of dealing with superficial judgement and everything Always been bought back to the sallows
Teal… I’m speechless … thank you!
This video made me realize that in my case ,I get very angry when I'm defied by people that are way weaker than me
It's like I get angry for daring defying me when there is no way they can defeat me
If it's a stronger rival I don"t get so angry
Teal, you're the best 🙏🏽 we are so lucky to have you in our lives.
Thank you for all your work, and discipline, and humor, and compassion, and honesty 🙏🏽 and beauty and Love. 💙🌌🔮🌌💙
Oh and again thank you Teal, I struggle with being angry and not keeping, asserting my boundaries and create consequences for them being not respected. I will do parts work with the part of me that doesn t like to be angry. It s interesting because when I was child i didn t like my mother getting angry all the time, on everybody. I even thought sometimes her anger has a big role on my parents getting a divorce, even though I called it out, because dad was agressive with her. It s a mingle wingle my childhood.. And I feel I have so many things to recover from abandonament and emeshment trauma. Ah..ok now that this is out wanted to express again my gratefulness for your work thank you from my heart❤
I had explosive ptsd for years after a childhood where anger had to be suppressed. I lost many jobs because people couldn't handle the heat. My rule now is that I know anything that makes me angry means no matter how much I dominate and fight the situation, I will be crying in the end and finding the root cause of my anger. So I just go with the flow but never skip the expression of anger because every layer needs to be processed in the body.
thank you!
Thank you l needed that !
Temper is the one thing you can’t get rid of by loosing it
That is one of the best things I've ever read.
Anger IS an appropriate emotion in many situations!
What we do when we feel anger is the golden knowledge we need to sort out.
I suffer from anger. I have such a sweet and outgoing personality and will do anything for anyone without anything in return. But when I’m angered, which can be triggered quickly, I explode. And I say horrible, mean, and hurtful things to those around me to make them feel as bad as they have made me feel. I feel I use anger as a means to hide the fact that my feelings have been hurt. And I shoot to kill with my words back to whoever has upset me. Generally, it’s ones the closest to me and the ones I love the most
I totally relate to being the harshest to those I love the most. I guess it's because the stakes are higher for our ego. Reading your experience, I wonder if you are being too generous and polite for too long with people (in an attempt to get them to love you). But in the process so many of your boundaries get crossed by you and others until it sort of fizzes over and you have to tell them everything. I could be wrong... but that's what I thought when I read your comment. Maybe you don't have to let your boundaries be crossed and do so much for others for you to be loved and appreciated and valued!
I can completely relate
Maybe you're not as sweet as you claim to be.
@@NJGuy1973 probably not!
I relate to you 💯💚
God bless you
You have a really good speaking voice.
thanks, needed this info
Somehow I have figured out that if I stop being affected and change the rules it feels a lot better. For example I can say "If you want it this way I will not follow in your path. I will then not take responsibility for your actions since I can see that you will not make me to decide anything". This can be a real game changer and the other part will do something to cooperate. We will then gain power instead of loosing it.
Interesting. How many times have you used it?
@@blue_sky_bright_sun7599 A lot.
I already knew that I have anger issues, so I am prone to rage when I feel hurt or disrespected or powerless. But I didn’t realize that there’s a key to changing the cycle. I have had a few different types of therapy but they haven’t really addressed the idea that I’m not making empowering decisions to create boundaries, I’m just hoping my anger will move other people to changing. I always felt like anger was so “empowering” but I see it’s because I feel like I’m struggling and can’t get out of something. I’m not admitting to myself that I have a need at the very core of my feeling anger. I rage because I won’t leave, I won’t look for better “fits” in my life that would actually be able to meet my needs.
Love this. Thank you.
My mom has been, is and likely will always be that chronically angry person. God she’s so frustrating I can barely be around her
This is the best description about anger and best suggestion to deal with anger I have ever seen. Thank you Teal ❤
I feel powerless anger when I see violence, rape, torture. What can I do? I feel like I could take a weapon and end it. But it's not a right thing to do. Today I was reading about rapes that happen each time any troops march through an enemy's territory. What would I do if I was there? How could I stop and think about my situation? I don't know and it makes me anxious and angry.
The work example was very good. I have a similar situation at work, meaning my boss is awful and we, employees, get mad at her but do nothing, out of fear we wouldn't find another job. Because we are bad at searching and appreciating our skills. Yes, we should change and stop with the anger. If we knew we could easily change jobs tomorrow, we wouldn't be so angry, right? We weren't appreciated at home, but we must learn to appreciate ourselves to stop with the hopelessness and anger.
I experience unbelievable rage, where I want to hurt myself and destroy everything around me. I've always likened my rage to an inferno that I've sealed away in the basement. When I attempt to open the door to explore it, I am knocked back by such a violent heatwave, I have to close the door rapidly, and I have no clue how to deal with it.
My mission for years has been to embrace emotion. My life has transformed irreversibly since taking the "bad" out of emotions and learning to love and hold them. But my anger is the one emotion I have no clue how to deal with, because I quite literally fear hurting myself and others when I attempt to be with it.
I apologize frequently to my anger, for locking it away, for never allowing it to flow and be free. I feel upset that there is an aspect within me that it begging to be let out, and I feel cruel to keep it shackled.
Incase You'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/anger-powerlessness/
Sorry Teal. I have to say... That top is incredible. Covered in the mysteries.
Thanks Teal!
Calm down Teal
I learned to “resolve” my anger “issues” when I was a kid, so I’m going on 30+ years and I don’t know that I’ve ever genuinely expressed my anger to anyone who’s made me angry! Ever! Woohoo! Love it here!
This is the first teal video that I've watched with ads
Thank you sooooo much!!!! This is extremely helpful!!
As always, so deeply grateful, Teal, thank you❤️
Thanks Teal 💗
Love your jacket Teal!
Thank you!!
I love your merch Teal!!!!!
Take it from a guy who has huge anger problems. In my case my anger is a self defense mental stage where i blacked out and just lose total control and won't realize what is happening. When you get to hate everything and everyone you'll figure that the best solution is to stay away from everyone. I became a truck driver so i wouldn't have to deal with people and i can enjoy my personal peace without being disturbed or be trigger by anyone. Now in answer the questions about where and how my anger came from, i hold to the last urge to get my payback as soon as i can
This is great
Wow I need someone like this in my life. My mom was single and horrible and I'm dysphoric bipolar. My anger is immeasurable. I didn't know why I was different from everyone else. Until I went effectively catatonic at work one day. My mind couldn't keep the rage contained anymore after so many years. I'd love to not be angry at some point.
Who knew that successful poly people would become so emotionally intelligent? Respect. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us monogamous folk.
So good! Also what frequency is that jacket? 😍
this is so valuable, thank you 💎🙏💎
As a Scorpio Moon and Gemini Sun, I appreciate this video most! Thank you Teal!!!!
I love your space suit ❤
Teal, you sure know how to activate emotions. Even hypothetical examples of animal suffering cause me to feel anger.
This woman is amazing love your videos and your no bs way of speaking about things
Understand thy anger 🔥
My mind lovessss the example stories in these videos. Becomes so easy to remember times we've seen these play out
I am
I Forgive Myself
I Forgive All
🙏💪☀️💛
My issue is that I don’t feel like my family tries to understand me… they point at me for being angry while they never discuss why i act like that. Maybe it’s because the way how threat me perhaps? Mostly it’s because I’m hurt but when i say it these things get used against me so it just puts more oil to the flames because you don’t expect that from the people who should love you…
That’s a brutal situation, and the sooner you meet your kind of kindred souls, the better for your soul 🩷 The richest family members (rich in sanity and love) don’t have to be blood related.
“He actually subconsciously gets something out of braking his words and dropping his responsibilities: not feeling alone” That hit..
I’m curious, can this also apply to the responsibilities you put on yourself - for yourself? Could it be that when I procrastinate and feel powerless that subconsciously I seek the ‘support’ of my angry voice that at least strives for the things I wish to accomplish and brings (raging) energy to it?
Nope, you are just lazy. This has nothing to do with feeling or being alone. Your brain is just not in order and you are seeking excuses on why to procrastinate. Just make order in your life, make a list of actions, start excercising, clean your room, eat healthy and do a step after step in order to get rid of procrastination. There is a reason why you dont see those things in the army.
Thank you
I will repeat watching this until it becomes a new habit... because I constantly bump into people, who are basically James... :D over n over n over again.
This came at a perfect time as I'm recovering from a full body nervous breakdown facilitated by * drum roll * anger!! 😅😅😅
😂
Just beautifull!
Right on time
Yes yes yes so true !!
This is very timely because i am so angry and upset right now there is pressure in my whole head. Thank you 🙏💞
No shame it that .
Be authentic .