My experience has been, the tougher a woman's exterior, the more nurturing and soft her interior is. But you have to really make her feel safe and secure to crack that outer shell. Many men understandably see that as "juice isn't worth the squeeze" and I don't blame them. But, in essence, in a lot of cases of a masculine woman, it's her *knowing* deep down that she has a propensity to fall head over heels, which can be fun, but it can make one feel powerless as well, so sometimes people do everything they can to maintain control over that.
Longtime follower and fan! This video is the first I've ever seen that directly addresses the issue I find myself tackling. My wife has been living in her masculine energy for most of her life for a variety of reasons - many of which were discussed in the video. I think for many women, staying in their masculine energy is a way of staying safe. It almost rings of avoidant attachment - "I don't trust anyone to meet my needs. I can only rely on myself to ensure that my needs are met." But what do you do when your wife expressly states she wants you to take the lead (step into more masculine energy), and, when you do, she is quick to strike down your efforts? What then? I feel my wife has this conscious need to relax into her feminine, but there is an unconscious reflex that prevents her from letting go and allowing someone to assume the masculine energy, or even the masculine role. I completely appreciate Connor's advice - giving up the need to be "right", stability, etc. But what do you do when she wants you to assume the masculine role and then she self-sabotages that dynamic?
Excelente video, thank you. I have a very dominant, controlling mother and I think that she is acting that way because my grandfather was very hard with her and thus this is her way of dealing with that feelings and insecurities. Anyhow, my father just seems to have resignated and shut down in order to deal with her demands and her controlling behavior. Thus, considering my parents relationship, it's no coincidence that I have been in relationships with rather dominant and masculine women myself. These videos have been a great help understanding my situation and dealing better with the difficulties which arise from such relationships than my father is able to do. Thank you again 🙏.
This is so helpful. I've had a relationship like this with a strong woman, and was able, after some trial and error, to maintain my cool during a heated exchange with her. It took me a while to realize that if I could just manage my emotions and respond calmly and with understanding to her emotional outburst, we could avoid a major blow up and in fact strengthen the relationship. Being grounded is a good way of explaining it. I think many strong woman still have a very sensitive core that they protect.
Great observations. I was raised by a single mother and my wife by a 'my way or the highway' father. So we naturally fell into a similar dynamic when we got married. It took me a few years to realize that I didn't want to always play that role, it's just the one I was familiar with. I haven't tried to overtly take over the role she had taken on (she was getting pretty used to it at that point), but through the years I picked up weightlifting and have embraced a Buddhist/Stoic approach to life and it's made a big difference. I think your metaphor of fighting fire with water is very apt.
I was raised with 3 women. A more masculine woman with 'submit' or become more "feminine" if you LEAD. I do not need to watch the always great video to know that. It is that simple This video was incredibly powerful
I love your videos, but with all due respect, it sounds like you’re saying let the masculine woman remain in her masculinity until she feels comfortable being feminine again. Mean while, your masculinity as a Man is constantly challenged by her and her masculine traits, but she’s allowed to do so because she didn’t have proper guidance into her femininity. And if that’s the case, why do we never hear a man challenging a woman about his femininity, or how he’s more feminine than her? Simply put, a woman wouldn’t want to be with a man who’s more feminine than her. 🤷♂️😅
Masculinity doesn't have to be an overt assertion of power. What I got out of this sounds like a lot like getting in touch with your inner stoic. And stoicism is a very masculine quality.
A woman wouldn’t want a nice guy aka feminine man. This is because 1. she doesn’t trust him, 2. she has no respect for him because of his clinginess and not man enough for him (imagine nice guy saying sorry when it’s clear that the girl is the one who has cheated), 3. the girl is the woman she doesn’t need another female in the equation So yes, nice guy finishes last
If your masculinity is challenged purely by the fact that your partner has masculine traits, maybe the issue lies more with your masculinity tbh (no offense, just an observation). It's your choice whether you want that or not. However, if your masculinity is not just challenged but you're actively getting humiliated that is a different story obviously and eventhough it's still possible to overcome that I wouldn't wanna invest in someone who does that. And to your second point, while this might be not as common, there are definitely relationships where the woman plays the more masculine part and the man the more feminine one. To each their own..
So masculine women creates conflict and man has to yield/avoid to solve the conflict ? doesn’t sound masculine for the man… Though I get it, it Is kind of letting a child run its tantrum course, and not letting it get to you. I suppose the one thing you have to be looking for is progress, if there is no progress and it just keeps coming its time to knock it off.
@@YourNemesis23 In videos talking about how to be in a relationship with an avoidant men, particularly in Adam Lane Smith's videos, there are a bunch of women commenting "Just don't be in a relationship with them" and basically describing them as though they're worse than the devil. Seems to be the opposite happening here.
Conner, your talks are meant for men, right? You don't have to do all the PC asides that have to be included to get through women's feminist-embedded filters. We don't need them. And it muddies your communication and point.
@@beowulf_of_wall_st Nah. The pool of top quality women is small. Some men have to settle for a project (and/or are a project themselves) and need advice on how to do the renovation. But in this room he doesn't have to the usual ladies-please-don't-be-offended game.
No no, if you do the work, she will become soft as she starts to feel safe and comfortable around you. Some guys say "not worth it" and hey, fair enough, but I'm telling you they are the most loyal women you'll ever be with if you're patient and stern.
@@0rnery0verwatch I agree, only realized after ten years of marriage and eventual disconnection that I realized there was a bit more masculinity in my babe. That shell developed. I know it can crack and come on back out in that soft and pleasant way. Maybe just breaking even on the juice and the squeeze directly, but with kids in the mix, gotta try to get that juice for them, in a healthy way to model for them, too.
@@0rnery0verwatch great, but you still end up doing more of the work. Relationships shouldnt be hard to maintain. Rather focus making more effort on providing for my family.
Thank you for approaching this in a non polarizing way. I think there’s also a genetic component to this. Humanity has long and mostly unconsciously been breeding men to be more masculine. So women by default women will also become more masculine. Historically the less masculine men died at higher rates than their more masculine counterparts. So in our more civilized modern world less masculine men are surviving at unprecedented levels. Leading women to a higher population of less masculine men leading to greater disappointment.
When you say masculine woman, you are mentioning avoidant woman? I am cool with a woman who works out in a gym, who carries dumbbell just like me. In fact I hate women who only use treadmill in a gym
I’d not assume going to the gym is a masculine trait, in fact it’s a caring behavior for one’s body it could be perceived as feminine even, but i don’t think it’s feminine enough to call it feminine and it surely doesn’t feel feminine either so i’d say it’s neutral imo.
If only my husband would even consider listening to these man talks. Instead, here I am, and he wonders why I need to be in my masculine self. Gentlemen: it goes both ways. The one that is doing the work to learn and change should not be discounted and thrown away. Stop that nonsense.
You NEED to be? Nope. You chose to be. Take some accountability for your own actions. You married the guy and supposedly vetted him. So either you thought you could 'change' him, or you yourself changed. Not his issue to solve.
@@Malekith2k5 just feeding your ego. TBH, I don’t care much for anyone’s opinion unless they’re willing to be honest and humble enough to care to hear how both our actions cause certain reactions. Like he says in another video as well, it doesn’t matter who is right or put the cycle into motion. It’s vicious and it is tearing apart marriages. But I do know if my husband would just listen to this specific message and reflect, we would get far. I firmly believe that. And yes, I NEED to be in my masculine state in order to protect myself. You have no idea what I’ve been doing so for you to state that I’m not taking accountability, that’s your opinion based on…? My comment? Okay. That’s fine. We’re all entitled to our opinions. Take care of yourself and please be kind.
My experience has been, the tougher a woman's exterior, the more nurturing and soft her interior is. But you have to really make her feel safe and secure to crack that outer shell. Many men understandably see that as "juice isn't worth the squeeze" and I don't blame them. But, in essence, in a lot of cases of a masculine woman, it's her *knowing* deep down that she has a propensity to fall head over heels, which can be fun, but it can make one feel powerless as well, so sometimes people do everything they can to maintain control over that.
🤮
Longtime follower and fan! This video is the first I've ever seen that directly addresses the issue I find myself tackling. My wife has been living in her masculine energy for most of her life for a variety of reasons - many of which were discussed in the video. I think for many women, staying in their masculine energy is a way of staying safe. It almost rings of avoidant attachment - "I don't trust anyone to meet my needs. I can only rely on myself to ensure that my needs are met."
But what do you do when your wife expressly states she wants you to take the lead (step into more masculine energy), and, when you do, she is quick to strike down your efforts? What then?
I feel my wife has this conscious need to relax into her feminine, but there is an unconscious reflex that prevents her from letting go and allowing someone to assume the masculine energy, or even the masculine role.
I completely appreciate Connor's advice - giving up the need to be "right", stability, etc. But what do you do when she wants you to assume the masculine role and then she self-sabotages that dynamic?
Excelente video, thank you. I have a very dominant, controlling mother and I think that she is acting that way because my grandfather was very hard with her and thus this is her way of dealing with that feelings and insecurities. Anyhow, my father just seems to have resignated and shut down in order to deal with her demands and her controlling behavior.
Thus, considering my parents relationship, it's no coincidence that I have been in relationships with rather dominant and masculine women myself. These videos have been a great help understanding my situation and dealing better with the difficulties which arise from such relationships than my father is able to do. Thank you again 🙏.
This is the most useful and balanced video I've seen on this topic. Very coherent, practical and empowering, really appreciate it
This is so helpful. I've had a relationship like this with a strong woman, and was able, after some trial and error, to maintain my cool during a heated exchange with her. It took me a while to realize that if I could just manage my emotions and respond calmly and with understanding to her emotional outburst, we could avoid a major blow up and in fact strengthen the relationship. Being grounded is a good way of explaining it. I think many strong woman still have a very sensitive core that they protect.
Great observations. I was raised by a single mother and my wife by a 'my way or the highway' father. So we naturally fell into a similar dynamic when we got married. It took me a few years to realize that I didn't want to always play that role, it's just the one I was familiar with. I haven't tried to overtly take over the role she had taken on (she was getting pretty used to it at that point), but through the years I picked up weightlifting and have embraced a Buddhist/Stoic approach to life and it's made a big difference. I think your metaphor of fighting fire with water is very apt.
I was raised with 3 women. A more masculine woman with 'submit' or become more "feminine" if you LEAD. I do not need to watch the always great video to know that. It is that simple
This video was incredibly powerful
Indeed, but only when they’re comfortable enough to be in their feminine side or else they’d feel challenged and fireback.
Connor Beaton can be blindfolded in the snow and still be able to snipe a paper plate 100 yards away. This man does not miss.
I love your videos, but with all due respect, it sounds like you’re saying let the masculine woman remain in her masculinity until she feels comfortable being feminine again. Mean while, your masculinity as a Man is constantly challenged by her and her masculine traits, but she’s allowed to do so because she didn’t have proper guidance into her femininity.
And if that’s the case, why do we never hear a man challenging a woman about his femininity, or how he’s more feminine than her? Simply put, a woman wouldn’t want to be with a man who’s more feminine than her. 🤷♂️😅
Masculinity doesn't have to be an overt assertion of power. What I got out of this sounds like a lot like getting in touch with your inner stoic. And stoicism is a very masculine quality.
A woman wouldn’t want a nice guy aka feminine man. This is because 1. she doesn’t trust him, 2. she has no respect for him because of his clinginess and not man enough for him (imagine nice guy saying sorry when it’s clear that the girl is the one who has cheated), 3. the girl is the woman she doesn’t need another female in the equation
So yes, nice guy finishes last
If your masculinity is challenged purely by the fact that your partner has masculine traits, maybe the issue lies more with your masculinity tbh (no offense, just an observation). It's your choice whether you want that or not. However, if your masculinity is not just challenged but you're actively getting humiliated that is a different story obviously and eventhough it's still possible to overcome that I wouldn't wanna invest in someone who does that.
And to your second point, while this might be not as common, there are definitely relationships where the woman plays the more masculine part and the man the more feminine one. To each their own..
Great video, thank you,
Very insightful video, good practices to reflect and act upon
Dont and find a feminine one that gives you less stress
True
So masculine women creates conflict and man has to yield/avoid to solve the conflict ? doesn’t sound masculine for the man…
Though I get it, it Is kind of letting a child run its tantrum course, and not letting it get to you.
I suppose the one thing you have to be looking for is progress, if there is no progress and it just keeps coming its time to knock it off.
What to do when dating a masculine woman: don't.
Haha
Yeah, only good answer. Imagine a woman asking how to date a feminine man
Yeah real talk if they're acting like this it's because you're not capable of leading. Not a good match.
This comment section is hilariously reminiscent of the comments women make about avoidant men.
Seems like it indeed
Would you care explaining that to me? I'm not too familiar with this.
@@YourNemesis23 In videos talking about how to be in a relationship with an avoidant men, particularly in Adam Lane Smith's videos, there are a bunch of women commenting "Just don't be in a relationship with them" and basically describing them as though they're worse than the devil. Seems to be the opposite happening here.
That's a great observation :D People repeat the same things such as "if we are doing all the work, we should just leave and stop trying"
Conner, your talks are meant for men, right? You don't have to do all the PC asides that have to be included to get through women's feminist-embedded filters. We don't need them. And it muddies your communication and point.
dude has lost the plot when he's telling straight men how to date masculine women. go find a woman who wants to be a woman.
@@beowulf_of_wall_st Nah. The pool of top quality women is small. Some men have to settle for a project (and/or are a project themselves) and need advice on how to do the renovation. But in this room he doesn't have to the usual ladies-please-don't-be-offended game.
tldw: just don't, problem solved. why are you telling men to waste their time with this?
Quick answer to this is WALK AWAY
NICE
So basically you have to do all the work while she doesnt see the need to be soft. OK ! no thanks
No no, if you do the work, she will become soft as she starts to feel safe and comfortable around you. Some guys say "not worth it" and hey, fair enough, but I'm telling you they are the most loyal women you'll ever be with if you're patient and stern.
@@0rnery0verwatch I agree, only realized after ten years of marriage and eventual disconnection that I realized there was a bit more masculinity in my babe. That shell developed. I know it can crack and come on back out in that soft and pleasant way.
Maybe just breaking even on the juice and the squeeze directly, but with kids in the mix, gotta try to get that juice for them, in a healthy way to model for them, too.
@@0rnery0verwatchdon’t believe you and don’t care to create a new person by breaking down all their trauma. They don’t accept us if we’re damaged
@@0rnery0verwatch great, but you still end up doing more of the work. Relationships shouldnt be hard to maintain. Rather focus making more effort on providing for my family.
Thank you for approaching this in a non polarizing way.
I think there’s also a genetic component to this. Humanity has long and mostly unconsciously been breeding men to be more masculine.
So women by default women will also become more masculine.
Historically the less masculine men died at higher rates than their more masculine counterparts. So in our more civilized modern world less masculine men are surviving at unprecedented levels. Leading women to a higher population of less masculine men leading to greater disappointment.
Great video
What timing!!!
Why wasn’t this here a month or so ago haha great vid 👍
Good stuff...
When you say masculine woman, you are mentioning avoidant woman? I am cool with a woman who works out in a gym, who carries dumbbell just like me. In fact I hate women who only use treadmill in a gym
I’d not assume going to the gym is a masculine trait, in fact it’s a caring behavior for one’s body it could be perceived as feminine even, but i don’t think it’s feminine enough to call it feminine and it surely doesn’t feel feminine either so i’d say it’s neutral imo.
My dad is a 🐈
Kitties can’t type I beg to differ
If only my husband would even consider listening to these man talks. Instead, here I am, and he wonders why I need to be in my masculine self.
Gentlemen: it goes both ways. The one that is doing the work to learn and change should not be discounted and thrown away. Stop that nonsense.
You NEED to be? Nope. You chose to be. Take some accountability for your own actions. You married the guy and supposedly vetted him. So either you thought you could 'change' him, or you yourself changed. Not his issue to solve.
You are SO MASCULINE that you are crowing about your masculinity to random people on the internet.
LOLZ
@@Malekith2k5 I stand corrected.
@@NeedsYaHUaH Glad I could shed some light on your situation.
@@Malekith2k5 just feeding your ego. TBH, I don’t care much for anyone’s opinion unless they’re willing to be honest and humble enough to care to hear how both our actions cause certain reactions. Like he says in another video as well, it doesn’t matter who is right or put the cycle into motion. It’s vicious and it is tearing apart marriages. But I do know if my husband would just listen to this specific message and reflect, we would get far. I firmly believe that. And yes, I NEED to be in my masculine state in order to protect myself. You have no idea what I’ve been doing so for you to state that I’m not taking accountability, that’s your opinion based on…? My comment? Okay. That’s fine. We’re all entitled to our opinions. Take care of yourself and please be kind.