What Women Don't Understand About Men | Jordan B Peterson
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- Опубликовано: 20 июн 2019
- Modern women don't understand how paralyzing they are to men. Men are terrified of women because they're terrified of rejection.
An excerpt from 2017 Maps of Meaning Lecture.
Watch the full video: • 2017 Maps of Meaning 0...
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He has a point. I am a teacher, and I have worked with many challenging students in my years. One day I changed the students' desks around, and I unintentionally sat a boy, who was challenging, next to a hard-working girl that he had a crush on. I didn't realize I did this. The boy's behavior changed immediately. He started focusing and completing his assignments. This was 4th grade. I was shocked by this.
Boys do better in mixed schools and girls in an all girls' school.
@@toomuchinformation how would you cope with this?
@@milenaosorio5726 cope with all girls schools?
@@toomuchinformation Girls on average do better in school in general
Great story
its never good to idealize someone. its a mistake that both men and women do. and it's a road to disappointment. thats for sure.
andika devai 💯 the people who we idealize also feels bad at the end
Esp we ,get broken down completely , results in a setback in life
I idealized my professor I did what ever she said I really want to be like that till the end .but ended up
Saying no to things (I wanted to be her perfect student)
I experienced setbacks, especially when my life goals changed lil bit
I messed up
That's not the point. That's just how nature works.
True and I don’t get why we do this it doesn’t make sense everyone have different struggles and will look differently you can’t put a imagine on someone you meet. It’s creating something you can’t reach sometimes I think you should accept someone with their flaws cause you most likely have them. I have this idea for myself and anyone I’m dating I can’t judge you for your looks and insult some things you like and talk down your flaws. Cause you being afraid of being alone is the same thing I feel so just cause I’m not openly telling you this I’m most likely feeling this.
Yoooo. Truer words have only scarcely been said
Myself who has definitely gone down that road, it is the absolute truth. I'll also add in there's no such thing as a guaranteed relationship
100% True, I literally made myself ask a woman out knowing I'd get a no just to get over the fear of it. That helped me get more confident in finding the right person through personality and not the looks. I'm now with my bestfriend.
What if she said yes 🥴
Yeah the point is to get your priorities set in stone and what values you desire in someone else and well be the one to mirror the same values..you seek..i believe with strong conviction yeah there needs to be mutual attraction whatever form it may be..but for sure the physical is by far the least reliable
..because looks can be decieving...imo..and one must learn to set boundaries because no one is perfect..i learned the hard way. Not everything is personal..(social media) like its hard not to feel like an option in this modern world. People stay in touch with exes. Slip up names and well create unnecessary confusion and insecurtiy . So its very important to be valuable ourselves..and hold others to those very values we need..to thrive..and trust.
This is interesting to me. I know a guy who said he did this and he (in his mind) of course got a no and rejected. He went on asking more girls he liked and got rejected.
It scarred him to the point that he had a rule that he would never ask a girl out in person again. Turned out he had tons of female admirers. Women who wanted him to ask them out but they never did. Sadly his prior rejections made him feel he was ugly somehow which was far from true.
He decided to go on a dating app and was actually bombarded by tons of likes and messages in just a short span of a few weeks. Yet because he only remembered being rejected, he still kept thinking he wasn't very attractive. When I spoke of this to other dates I had, they said "he literally doesn't know it but he's the mythical top 1% that they speak of in dating apps. Because most men on the apps actually get significantly fewer responses"
@@Ladeliciadelinda He took it too personally. Do not take rejections personally. You get rejected because of all sorts of reasons. They also do not know you. They know the perception of you that they have in the small moment you have shared with them. They are not rejecting the core of your being and telling you that you are not good enough.
@@FLaSHFReeeZ yeah that's what I told him that it might not be that they weren't interested but maybe they had other reasons like they want to focus on schooling or maybe they were already taken. I know a few guys who do take past experiences like that personally and it gets carried on with them for life.
I am a fiction writer and watching this video is very helpful in writing realistic male characters. I'm grateful for this! 🤩
🙏🙏woah..no way am a writer too fiction writer actually...but am still young anyway all the best in ur book...hope it comes out as fine as wine😘😘
i wanna read your book
You write fiction? You should do a story about a good-looking woman who is also loyal and practical. Seems fictitious to me...
@@jimgray3346 damn, who hurt you?
@@BATMADZ_ Probably his ex!
Back when coughing was normal
Lol
🤣👏🏽
it's still completely normal
Looooool
The good old days
Many of us women have plenty of flaws. We fear rejection from men as well.
Nikki, can I have your phone number?
ouch , sorry bro I guess there's your answer, see how a female can turn that around like that there goog real good😉
Monica tiamo I think women are usually more insecure than men. I never had the guts to ask a guy out when I was younger.
@@Dimitar_G_Karagyaurov you only have 49 more to go
Of course women fear rejection. All humans fear rejection.
But consider how unbalanced it is to ask all men to take on this risk of soul shattering rejection... While all women sit back and judge the men that have the guts to come try to talk to them.
If men are expected to take that risk, then women should be expected to bend over backwards to try and make their rejection as palatable as possible.
And it's worse than that even... Because the statistics is that women consider 80% of men to be below average.
So their standards are set to reject most men.
So women moan and whine about thier being no good men, when they are ignoring the bulk of the make population. They pine only for the upper 20% of men. The handsome, the wealthy, etc.
So while I sympathize with women... They are not at all blameless in this.
Yes, I was paralyzed by the image of an ideal woman some 5 years back. When I saw her in my office, I couldn't help but admire that woman. She was hardworking, dedicated, nice personality and had a beautiful body. I was dumbstruck by her presence. Never got the courage to speak to her out of fear of getting rejected.
You just described a man 😂
@@SweetUareDesi No doubt, she was a female.
@@SweetUareDesi Why are you gae?
@@TruthTriumphs786 Man, you should've done it. If she had a nice personality she wouldn't have made you feel bad for asking (if she even rejected you)
@@SabrinaCarpenterFanAcc Yeah, better to move on now
It is amazing to me how consistent he is. 10 to 15 years later, and the ideas are almost identical. That’s how eternal wisdom works.
Check out the bible it's full of wisdom. The writers understood people, their behavior, and how to avoid lifes pitfalls.
He also works based on research results, not just hypotheses (like tge radical left professors).
It is also amazing to me that he has not revised his thoughts today with updated ideas, because consistency is a double edged sword right.On the positive side it offers stability and yes you can ground yourself.Until your brain looking for fresh stimulation, and more to learn,becomes bored,everything has a sell by date eventually & unfortunately,the thing I find troubling about Jordan Peterson and I do like some of his insights,is that when he becomes super analytical and level headed, the tone of his argument carries an intensity,which suggests,even he deep down is somewhat Bored.
And he is extremely knowledgeable about the conceits,and for some reason the solution when offered is not so detailed,a bit like the religious texts
It's OK to change your mind about something, though. When new evidence comes to light, you *should* revise your old beliefs; consistency in and of itself isn't necessarily something to aspire to. I think there is such a thing as eternal wisdom but it should still be questioned now and then.
@@everquestfan LoL
To all of you man haters and woman haters out there, GOOD MEN DESERVE GOOD WOMEN, GOOD WOMEN DESERVE GOOD MEN, it's simple as that
Nobody deserves anything
@@Galaxy-ls5zt people get results from the actions they take, if someone agreed to get a paycheck at a certain rate, that's a business deal. But for someone to deserve something that's a fictional cause. It's not reality. Why would good men get screwed over if they deserved better? It's a choice to fight for a desired result or not. The good guy that marries a woman and ends up divorced by her did nothing wrong. He just took a shitty deal.
There are no 'good' people, just people. We mostly act in ways that are socially acceptable. Take that away, we're capable of horrors.
fax
No one owes you anything. You get what you work for. You should choose by thinking it through first.
Him: *voice trembles while coughing but keeps talking*
Me: Its okay. Take a little break.
Same here 😄
XD
I do the same when I lecture. I don't know why though...
This isn’t some free talk done with no expectation. He has to speak his information and only has so long. I get what you mean, but this isn’t a talk show, it’s school.
When you drink a big cup of coffee like that... you’ve already decided that breaks are not ok
Thank you, Dr. Peterson!
Thank you for your determination and for sharing your story
@@Dimitris_Balf its a shame that you are out here harrasing and bullying people just because of thwir choice to follow. She is definitely matured enough than you to make her own decisons. Funny how people like you cry freedom of choice lol.
MY-PHILOSOPHY:"INNER-STRENGTH"
I have found that simply "loving myself" (inner-child) is a powerful tool against most types of social-dependency/vulnerability.
.............................
"Evil" is the antithesis to the virtue: 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-darwinism'.
.............................
NEURO-PERSONALITY
.............................
"SENSORY-FEELERS" ARE LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SPREADING DISINFORMATION AND HATE TOWARDS ENTJ/INTJ (AGAINST "THINKERS" IN GENERAL)-BOTH IRL AND ON THE INTERNET; DESPITE THOSE NEURO-PERSONALITY TYPES BEING A BLESSING TO SOCIETY AND ALL OF MANKIND! THEY DESERVE BETTER! 😤
'ESFJ', 'ESFP', ISFP and 'ISFJ' are a pathogen to humanity, and 'then' Cluster-B (depending on their neuro-personality).
THEIR "FEELINGS 'IS' THEIR REALITY", THEY ALSO HAVE A MALICIOUS-MIND BY DEFAULT (low 'mirror-neurons' results in "SOCIOPATHIC-FEELER"; full of pathological hate, and highly chaotic).
WHAT'S MORE, DESPITE HAVING MALICIOUS INTENT THEY ARE ALL EMOTIONALLY-WEAK AND PRONE TO COVERT/VULNERABLE-NARCISSISM (ISFJ especially; they impersonate and spread hate towards genuine INFJs).
...............................
Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality').
I recommend researching 'narcissistic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissist'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!!
They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-r@pe, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim/damsel in distress, creating "flying-monkeys", and 'bribing' others (with money or BJ) to attack, or at times, kill someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till.
xSFP and ISFJ (2W1) are the most complicit, narcissistic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependents' (look up the definition). Like ESFJ, XSFP's "feelings 'is' their reality." Most are covert/vulnerable-narcissists.
ISFJ often perceive things only on the surface level (even by sensor standards), are suckers for a “pretty face", and their neuro-psychology makes them the ideal narcissitic-codependent and pawn to the ESFJ (blind-loyalty, surface level perception, susceptibility to covert-narcissism).
Lastly, ISFJ are notorious for impersonating other people's identities IRL and on the internet; while ESFJ-9W1 superficially appears like an ENFJ, they have different 'neurology' and psychology. Both XSFJ are superficial by nature and perceive reality at face-value/surface level.
SUMMARY
Evil personality: 'ESFJ' (ALL), ESTJ (Cluster-b), ISFJ-2W1 (covert-narc/enabler). ESFJ-9W1 superficially resembles ENFJ; different 'neurology' and psychology.
[Secretly] Evil and narcissist-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL), and ISFJ (2W1 enable ESFJ).
☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict as a distraction (at other people's expense, truly evil).
Spread the word! Thank you.
___________
Research ref: Raudha Athif, Ghislaine Maxwell, Marilyn Monroe, Karen, ESFJ-narcissists, ESFJ-neurology, Gaslighting, Amber Heard, Fake feminism, Rising of a shield hero (Malty-'ESFJ'; XSFX spread disinformation online. ISFJ is the main culprit, i.e. ISFJ largely perceive things on the surface level, and with malicious intent ISFJ impersonate others). Please research 'Brood-parasitism’- XSFJ natural psychology..
//End//
Jordan Peterson is a fruit loop, but he occasionally has a point.
@@lipbyAnd i suppose you are a box of organic nuts? 😅
As a woman, I have been paralyzed by my fear of rejection by my idea of an ideal man.
Same! Putting them on pedestals, doing everything to impress them, only to get a "no", and it felt just as horrible to be rejected, and that fear is still lasting.
@@dian277don't put men on pedestal, you should focus on yourself. You will get everything that you want, only when you don't need those things
If you want your ideal man, find out what your ideal man would want for his ideal woman. Then be that woman. Simple.
@@Zathren that argument doesnt hold water because if thats NOT you it will make you both miserable.
Do you not understand that people are who they are despite their bodies?
Get to know them, and you will find their flaws.
"You can be the ripest most juicy peach and if they don't like peaches it won't matter". < That was a quote I saw when I was younger and it totally gave me confidence to be myself. Better to be yourself upfront and find someone who likes you for who you are and vice versa.
The one I grew up with was about apples. Something about the apples at the top of the tree are the ones that are hard to reach but it will be worth getting those ones as apposed to picking the ones off the floor which are easy to reach but the apples there are already rotten. So if you don’t have many men chasing, it could be that you’re a hard to reach apple and that shouldn’t discourage you and make you feel like you should make yourself more readily available otherwise you’ll fall from the tree and become one of the ground apples that get picked up frequently.
Hi baby Am Ben easygoing person I like good and do good I like friends that have understanding and fun to be with I love arts, museum and music l lunch luxury every Eve I compose poem and scripts am a civil engineer and a contractor I work for company and I work in Asia,africa,and Europe I need a woman who understands What love is all about, to be my own I saw your picture and I am impressed you're beautiful and baby you shines like a diamond springs In Sky nicely like flowers in the garden of Eden's I close my eyes all I is you at first sight I felt the energy of Sun rays angel'wings written love on it I love you so much baby I want a wonderful woman will love me and know who I am and be mine forever i hope You will reply soonest thanks
@@benfine2328 bobs and vegene qt bb 😘
Wow thanks for sharing that quote. Never thought of it that way haha
@@benfine2328 Feels like, you're one of the bob and vegana guys.
Biggest fault of men, seeing a woman and thinking she is the dream woman. That creates pressure. No, she is an absolut average woman at first sight. She has to prove through dating, if she is your dream woman, that transfers the pressure to her or at least away from you. And if you fall in love with her, than she becomes the dream woman.
💯
Then you can be terrified?
Well said.
Yes, men fall in love with their dream woman and quickly fall out of love as soon as they realise she is not the perfect dream woman.. which they will never have .. fools!
Those kind of boys are Pendejos
As a man in my 20s I feel like society pressures us to be good at everything and don't get vulnerable!
I have to admit, I do have high expectations of men. I feel like growing up the men in my family were great at everything. But they did lack vulnerability, and vulnerability is an amazing thing. Trust me, vulnerability and emotional intelligence is super attractive, don’t let society convince you that you have to stuff your feelings as a man
@@kimberlyjennings618 Yeah but most women realistically and statistically don't find emotionally intelligent Men attractive at all, at the end of the day Womens choices in Men says otherwise, Women naturally like to give words of encouragement but don't actually mean what they say, theres a huge difference between what say they want and what they actually want, and it constantly changes due to the stage of a womans age and sex drive which constantly confuses Men all the time, because Women expect us to telepathically pick this up with out fail.
I'm a woman and I agree with you Joshy I can confirm what you're saying yes if my man is too emotional I will not find him sexy or manly. Need him brutal .
That pressure is there for women, too. Besides, your wording is too vague. Men are shunned for being emotional. I agree with that.
@@justanothermortal1373 but men especially are conditioned by the competitive nature of capitalism and along with toxic masculinity to be highly competitive and to view each other as competitors.
Furthermore the commoditization of relationships due to neoliberalism and capitalism exacerbates the divide between men and women and the lack of communication. Also what Peterson is talking about here? That’s not helpful nor is it fact-based. He’s basically trying to paint women as some kind of… Romantic ideal instead of a human being. The sky is supposed to be a clinical psychologist not some self-help soothsayer Small wonder his career came to ignominious end.
It is crazy how we women been obsessed with the idea of love keep us from seeing the amount of power and influence we have on men. this was a nice reminder women are not week because they are emotional like society lead us to believe ... men are as much terrified and excited because of us as we are because of them .
Ps I think his point also serves women also who idealize love and man because of romance novels and romcoms
Power and influence... not really. Partners influence each other. No super powers there. Is JP's way to put blame on women while men control the absolute majority of wealth and power in the world.
as a man it's true
Oh man you guys have it so good you dont even know, its literally never been easier to be a woman in the entire history of humanity, you hav e a near 1 billion% advantage over us men, you get 1000 likes a day which is 365 000 offers a year and 8.7 million offers between the age of 16-40, set against a guy who has 0, but it gets better for you and worse for us, you never get rejected and some of us like me get rejected 100% of the time for decades if you x8.7 million by 100 you get close to a billion, your life is literally a bilion times easier than mine because you were born a woman and me a guy ! it would be a male fantasy to have 1000 women offering themselves to a guy every day all willing to do anything to get you on a date that they pay for , and they spent decades training in pick up getting rich enough to impress him working out to get the perfect body, it just would be so surreal its almost impossible to imagine just how good you have it right now, sadly the consiquence of you haivng everything so unbearably easy is for us guys its the wrost time ever and a lot of us like me will nev er even get one date, and we will definatly die alone, if i have one character flaw im fkd ! if you are not confident amazing at pick up and fairly rich you will NEVER get even a date with a woman, you are soooo lucky you have no idea.
@@mcpartridgeboywomen get rejected too. I have seeen women friends being rejected and ghosted . pls don’t say that , everyone has struggles . We should not compare and think women have it easy, pls also remind yourself that pregnancy and childbirth is NOT EAsy ! And period monthly is also not good experience. Pls be aware women have struggles and women have been oppressed before and being raped is much damaging to a woman when she gets pregnant by the rapists baby. Pls be aware also that women are biologically smaller and physically weaker so they are more vulnerable to domestic violence and abuse ,so women and men have their own struggles and never think women have it better . From my perspective they have it worse and will always suffer if society won’t cooperate and have inner peace and healing
@@njrom2975 Fucking utter BS, if you think 1000 offers a day isnt easy try 40 years with zero offers and everyone rejecting you, thats what you are facing if you are a guy who is bad at pick up, women dont get rejected unless they are total idiots and try someone WAAAAYYYY out of their leauge, women never NEED to get rejected either, i never said childbirth was easy i said women have easy lives and get everything they want offered to them and they can get a date and sex and love wherever , whenever they want with who they want and have their choice out of hundreds of thosands of guys every year and its a pure choice for all of them, if you dont think thats having it easy you are mentally ill, most guys would fantazize about 1000 women offering themselves to them every day, thats like being a rockstar and this is AVERAGE women lol, women who pick abusive men are more likely to suffer from DV yeah, but they choose that, thats on them, any woman can find a nice guy within less than 10 mins, they get 1000 offers a day, thats offers from at least 990 nice guys EVERY DAY, so no women dont have it harder, its literally never been easier for women in the entire history of humanity and all this and guys like me get one date every 42 years, its fucking discusting how piss easy women have everything, and they STILL complain they cant get a nice guy lol
I have been on the other side of this and it’s such a mind F. I can see that something about me has inspired a man in this way...and it seems to bring out the best in him and light him up. But I know he doesn’t see ME at all. If I let him in...he loses that to a great degree. If I don’t let him in, I remain a Demi-goddess, but don’t get true intimacy or connection. It’s messed up.
Wow
That is such a cool thing to hear. I feel like it's a rare woman who actually sees this for what it is.
Well done on being so illuminated.
And yes, the sacrifice Peterson talks about is real, and it is made by both partners. The man loses the dream of perfection, because you are not perfect. And you lose the dream of a pursuing white knight, because the man who sees you for what you are (imperfect) will react to you differently than a man who believes (inaccurately) that you are perfect.
Such an interesting comment.
HelloGorgeous1 Great point. I think that is why making a conscious effort to be the most genuine version of yourself at all times, creates more opportunity to discover someone that will always see you as a goddess- or for them to discover you. It requires courage, but how else can someone regard you as a true goddess if you only reveal your face value?
This comment deserves more attention
Jordan explains the game so well I don’t even wanna play it anymore
Hey there fellow MGTOW
@Shutbyotch, you're such weird guy
@@freshbakedclips4659 pathetic quitter going back into Peter Pan mode afraid to man up and face your fears.
He's actually talking about the mind of simp
@Shutbyotch, but I never stated anything that I don't like women. 🤷
When I was a kid I was exactly like that. Climbed around, tried to make up fun games, listen to them, dance, anything that caught their attention. Even was upfront and just declared my feelings. My vulnerability was always rejected and pushed away with toughness and mocking.
I don't think this is a problem only men face. I'm a teenage girl and from what I've seen lately both men and women don't make an effort to impress the person they like. Being terrified of rejection is equally horrible for all of us, at least at my age.
I really love listening to this man. He makes so much sense in a world where almost nothing makes sense anymore
more realistically, he makes sense some of the time not always. he has some clunkers and cringey statements out there too.
@@abeycee7427 That makes him even more interesting.
@@kloug2006 really?
@@abeycee7427yes.
I love these older clips.
I would pay good money to get into his class
@@marionette5968 that's not the same
@@zen751 It's better, you can pause and replay it; and use captions
@@TheDrWill True, but what he saying he would rather experience it first -hand, and since all of his lectures are uploaded to youtube (I suppose) he can just watch them again.
Then you would find out why his students' nickname for him is Kermit the Fraud.
@@alanmacification I mean he's got pretty good reviews on all the major professor rating sites, plus he has like 9000 academic citations so there's that.
For a man who is incredibly smart, he cannot drink water to save his life.
Still Dreaming nor dress sense ... but we love him for his incredible mind and insight / those endearing flaws make him human
He saved others, why couldn’t he save himself.
Yes. He seems to have some sort of congestion that is vexing him that he has to muscle through a bit to get this lecture out-but his passion is still evident.
I find this comment risible.
All respect to Dr. Peterson but he has yet to tap into the source of all knowledge and truth, Jesus Christ. Prayerfully he will come to know God's truth.
I think that goes both way for any gender. We idealize our partners to the point we don’t see a person or a human in front of us but an idealized dream. You can’t date a dream. You got to meet people where they are and think outside of yourself and consider their side. We are all humans and we all have fears. Rejection is paralyzingly to everyone not just men.
Your own expectations will hurt you, so be grateful with what you have, when you realize that you're enough and everything around you is too, you can be genuinely happy, you're enough not perfect, you're lovable and bulletproof to rejection!! ☺️
MY OPINION ON MY LIFE: (so don’t @ me to respond PLZ)
Since I was 18 I understood that many men I dated never loved me. I’d say they were in love with the ‘idea’ of me.
:/
If that's all you present yourself as being, then that's what you will be accepted as.
@@khalil7011 sir, watch the clip 🤣 You’re just typing without any context clearly. It is not a woman’s job to present herself as anything but herself and many women do just that. He literally said men don’t even see the actual woman, they see the idea woman a manifestation of perfection . Sounds like it’s time those men get out their own way. Stop judging books by covers 😆🤣😂 cuz I BEEN knowing 🧠👁.
Be thankful it reached that level.
Girl, facts! I noticed that too!
Yep basic psychology: Do something you're afraid to do (within reason) at least once a week, if not more. I found that works for me 99% of the time with most personal mental and/or emotional obstacles.
Just a little precision there is always a reason to be afraid of a situation, even if we don't realize it.
But it's a fact yes in psychology it's called exposition therapy.
Totally agree. Doing this has helped me so much
Can you give me an example or two on these things you do that you're afraid of doing? I know it depends on the person but I just want an example bcw I caan't think of something to try for myself.
@@heyyou3609 You can try talking to people, or climbing mountain, or pet spider basically do anything you are scared of
Crocodiles move over, I'm coming for a dip
It’s easy to be attracted to someone who is physically attractive but looks fade (hopefully gracefully) and then what do you have? You really do have to have fundamental things in common and have deep conversations and actually enjoy talking to each other and that makes for a true partner in life. If you base the relationship solely on looks or money then when you are down and need someone to be there for you there won’t be anyone there who cares about you.
This happened to me too. I am a woman and when I was a teenager I would have this ideal, intimidating image of some guy I saw and barely even spoke to. It would terrify me and make me super conscious in front of that other person. I wouldn't even be able to speak to them or would likely avoid them. Because I would have this image that they are something greater than me and I would feel the need to be perfect in front of them and make them like me. ( prolly a need for validation lol) But as I got to know them better, it would make me look at them as another human being with their share of flaws and goodness and it would make me so much more comfortable around that person and put my mind at ease. And I would so much rather see them as an actual person with all their flaws and good qualities together than see them as something superior and superficial. It would make me like the person more for who they are genuinely. This was a weird phase that I went through and still struggle with sometimes on a rare occasions. Anyone else been there? xD
Hard yes, you are not alone.
yes that's called infatuation lol
Me too, im woman but I used to feel inferior when a richer guy told that he liked me, Im scared that he will control me😂. I've changed my mindset now, recently I just found out that man dont care about woman money, they like you for who you are
You are sooooooo lucky you are a woman, if you were a guy you would be here in the depths of despair having been rejected by every woman you asked out you would be alone forever and you would die alone, unless you get over than and many other things you wownt even have a chance to be rejected women would just overlook you entirely ! Im like that, i can barely speak to women i like and its meant that i NEVER get a date, ive been alone for 45 years of my life even though its my job to look good lol ! you have no idea how hard and miserable your life would be as a man, in fact you probably would have killed yourself because getting rejected by everyone for 40 years would probably kill you inside !
@@phamsumi8867 You also have no idea how lucky you are to be a woman, because you would never get a date if you had those insecurities as a man, you wouldnt even be shit tested by women because they would know imediatly you were underconfident and you would be rejected before you even opened your mouth and you would die alone with nobody and you would never even have a first date EVER and women would insist ou ask other women out so you would and then you would get rejected more and more and more and more, as with women the more you get the more you get and the less you get the less you get so pretty quickly a few guys are getting all the women and you are alone forever and die alone having never known what love or sex is, you might not even get any human touch eg me, ive never even had a cuddle with a woman my own age ! you have no idea how lucky you are to be spared this fate, you had a 50/50 chance of being a woman and getting 1000 offers a day and 8.7 million offers between the age of 16-40 or not only never getting any offers but getting rejected 100% of the time and dying alone, and make no mistake youer insecurites would have meant you would be in this boat wiwth me and dying alone ! the difference between you getting 1000 guys a day and me never getting anyone is literally because you were born a woman and i was born a man.
This guy just described my pitiful existence in front me !
Think that's cool, you should read the gospel.
He is an idiot
He definetely also described me as I was younger between 14-18, as I always got to knew a girl and always had that Ideal of a person that made me unable to really get know her and fucked up. Haha and I also had to meet the evil dragon to wake up :D
@@jacksobrooks Amen to that!
heneeds somemilk who is an idiot?
This happened with my first crush in high school and my first relationship. In both cases I loved the ideal feminine, but realized I was incompatible with both women.
This has been the Achilles heel in my relationships. I often fall in love with the ideal version of a woman instead of the reality. Never ends well. Thankfully I'm finally getting past that phase.
So basically she was just fantasy because you barely knew who she was
JPM42 McCartney wow you really have a shitty view of women don’t you? How about saying, SOME men and SOME women are funny and clever, others aren’t. Sounds like you need to stop putting men on pedestals!
I think it is hard to tell in early relationships whether you are breaking up with a person because they are incompatible, or because you haven't let go of the ideal women who doesn't exist.
@@blickluke Thank you Luke.
My god!! To have this man as a teacher. How lucky we all are
Women choose. Give them something to admire and be proud of. Competence attracts a mate.
Men choose too, don’t get it all twisted up…
I'm a 17 year old Indian girl and I feel what he said is true not only for men but also women . Even we tend to set extremely unrealistic ideals and then sadly we have to come to terms with the fact that those ideals are unachievable. It happens with me all the time. There have been times when I almost worshipped a guy I wasn't even acquainted with and then when I came to know him better, I laughed thinking of the kind awe he used to inspire in me earlier.
😂😂😂 when you collide with the reality
its also the teen mind. infatuation. not having a fully developed brain. hormones. it should even out
You need to put in the work though, otherwise you remain a teen mentally
I’m not sure it’s anything to do with whether you’re a man or a woman. We’re all just trying to live up to a standard which we can’t possibly attain, or at least not sustain long term. We want to impress all kinds of people for all different reasons and in the process, we end up making ourselves more miserable. And in the age of social media, the pressures on people to be beautiful or rich or famous have made the problem insurmountable. We’re constantly comparing ourselves with others and lose all understanding of our self-worth.
Not always the case especially if u know what u want in life
Greetings from Nigeria
gender roles play a huge part in how fucked up our society is.
BEST COMM
A different but good take
Yeah but Jordan loves to divide
This video should be called „what men don’t get about themselves“
No, the current title is more reflective of reality
@@m.a.156 agreed
i was thinking the same thing lol
He’s right! Women especially young women have no damn idea how paralyzing they are to men! Hence, way more men are lonely, isolated, and unwilling to reach out now more than ever because of the obvious horrible treatment they get from women who are toxic and have to disrespect/put others down. Dating sucks today especially when you’re a good woman doing the right thing waiting and looking for a good man while living in this insane culture! I should know. Many crickets chirping out there.
Poor men! While men are afraid to be rejected by women, women are afraid to be heaped and killed by men.
Stop! Wasting your time with women that don’t want you
One of the most helpful things for me to realize, as stupid as it may sound, is simply that women are people too. As in the same way men are.
The only female in my life that I had any type of real relationship with growing up was my mother. And being my mother she really didn't count in terms of helping me to understand the opposite sex. I had a fair amount of trauma and rejection early in life. Given my experiences early in life I had a warped perspective of women that was total BS. In my mind I put them on a pedestal. I was needy too, so I really did fear rejection.
Once I got my perspective straight, and experienced some healing, the fear of rejection, etc. went away.
So, I think the degree of fear a male has towards females is a reflection of how out of line the male's perspective is, and/or how whole they are emotionally.
A guy who is comfortable in his own skin and with his place in the world is not going to be terrified of being rejected by a woman. That's not to say he would like the rejection, but he would have the perspective to recognize that the rejection wasn't necessarily indicative of a deficiency with himself. Despite any disappointment, he would move on, looking forward to find somebody where the attraction was mutual.
@Mian Bao NL Thanks - I have a wife now. She's pretty amazing. :)
@ Why do women sacrifice for their children then? Even more so than fathers. And before you pull out the court system crap, consider other countries. It's also a fact that women are more empathetic. If anything, men have higher rates of psychopathy.
Exactly I had the same realization
Women are way more selective than men, also easy to persuade by their friends or family members. Men are more stubborn when they decide they like a girl nobody will change their mind, also less demanding in terms of perfection, women expect something too personalized, that's why the section of women's shoes in stores is always 3 times larger than that of men, also they always have like 6 or 7 different options for the color of the shoes.
@@erickramirez8539 what
From a woman’s perspective, this makes me want to improve myself.
Same.
Exactly wat u should do a women’s body is a mans home
@@hilol9267 lol kinda sad. Get your own fucking home.
CaroSam Chwa Why? Are you rude and insulting when rejecting men? In that case absolutely learn to behave kindly towards other people? But otherwise, what the hell?
@@WateryFire you should always be trying to improve yourself
The funny thing is, man often make fools out of themselves trying to impress us. It only shows your unable to look at me for who I am, it shows childishness also. If you just go up to me, just politely start a conversation. I appreciate that a lot. Especially if the guy asks questions about me, and wants to get to know me, it shows that he is trying to look at me for who I am, he is trying to get to know ME. You don't have to show off, you don't have to look strong, or do "brave stuff". We just want someone who is adult enough to be able to genuinely start a nice conversation, someone who is able to look at us for who we are. And you know, the other way around is exactly the same. Both sides have to learn and try to understand each other
In my teens, I learned that; the prettier the woman is, the LESS men talk to her. Men lack the confidence and self esteem to talk to the most beautiful of women. I would go to social events and find the most attractive woman there and get her to talk about herself. I would purposely withhold information about myself, and always redirect the conversation back to her. Doing that, I became mysterious and interesting. Women LOVE to talk. I let them talk about themselves. Then, when I know I had her; I would ignore her and act aloof. Eventually, they would chase me, some to the point of obsession. You should see my wife.....
@@chadnoswal9243 i guess that only works if you look good tho, or have super charms . But you are very right that women like to talk so it's very smart to use that in your favor
@@bonnie7898 exactly. Sadly i am way to weird for my looks to compensate that 😂 so i only have guys catcalling me or harassing me but no one ever comes up to start a nice conversation. I feel like I'm way too bubbly and energetic lol. It's a shame because i don't like assholes, i like funny quirky guys with whom i can have deep conversations with.
@Barry Allen ofc you are right, just like everything it goes both ways. I'm sorry I didn't include that this counts for girls too, since me and al the girls in my surroundings already do that, so i didn't think about including it since it came as naturally to me. I apologize for that because i understand that isn't the case for everyone. But you're totally right, anyone would come across childish if that person tries to impress others by making fools out of themselves. And anyone would like to have someone come up to them and start a nice, polite conversation. No difference between sex.
@Barry Allen i literally said that all the girls i know go up to guys themselves and just start conversations, just like myself. Actually non of the girls i know have been approached but they do go up to guys to just start a conversation and get to know them. I also said that i forgot that this doesn't count for everyone, since apperently this isn't normal everywhere. But here it is
at the end he explains without using the exact phrase "exposure therapy." Not only is it very applicable to this situation, but its probably the #1 most effective treatment for most fears in your life. By encountering them head on, seeing the consequence (99% of the time there is no consequence contrary to what your fear tells you) and you grow less fearful, tolerant, and even sometimes end up liking the thing you were initially afraid of.
babe, you're the manifestation of a judgmental ideal
Lol
XD
Babe left the chat
Babe, I have to defeat the dragon in you to get to the princess of my tale.
What did you call me 😂
In a metaphorical sense. When one gives expecting. They will eventually feel owed. This is the " I gave you my whole life". attitude. Watering love is the act of feeling it as you are giving it. So you are rewarded as giving. So no one owes anyone anything. If one feels owed. Then their giving was for selfish reasons. They cheated love. So they feel cheated. Love/ Happiness is something We get when We properly give.
There are people out there who will take advantage of giving individuals though. It’s very important to learn to differentiate
Giving ‘in love’ unconditionally is a choice by which Faith operates, whereby this lovingkindness becomes the driving force of grace that performs the breaking down of the ‘walls’ we as humans have a tendency of building around one another.
Giving or loving with strings attached fosters insecurity and maintains those relational walls.
While I do believe that feeling love during giving it may be important and can change a relationship significantly, there is also the factor of reciprocation, and we all have a right to that. We shouldn’t give love and at the same time, allow ourselves to be taken advantage of or be used. True love can only become a relationship if it is first accepted, and it can only be a true relationship if the love is reciprocated. People who don’t receive that reciprocation properly or are wronged do have the perspective of ‘I gave you my whole life’, and they are justified to that, at least to a certain extent. Everything afterwards is a case by case scenario. At the end of the day, people and situations are different, and all cases can occur.
This guy speaks with such logic. I really like listening to his information!
This felt really good. I didn't know I needed this. Appreciate it, thanks.
JP is absolutely spot on. We men do tend to make women we are attracted to as the highest attainable ideal. But when we do this, it completely strips away the woman for who she is, that is, just a woman. I think it's very unhealthy to look at attractive women in this manner. Talk to them like they're your friends, and you'll be surprised at when you appear genuine, and mysterious, how the results will come. Charles Bukowski has this quote, only two words, but immensely powerful. Take these words with you wherever you go... "Don't try."
Thank you. Yes. Women are human beings aswell.
"Don't try" is the opposite of an inspiring quote. It's not even uninspiring; it's disinspiring.
@@M_Dun if she says no then why the hell would I try again? Lol. Just move on would actually be the best advice
@@pussydestroyer69285 To me, "Don't try" means that she wouldn't say no, because you never asked.
@@M_Dun oh ok. Sorry. Lol, do try. But if he or she says no then thats ok.
The problem is that nobody ask "what can you offer to your partner?". Everybody just ask "what do you want in your partner?".
If people could reflect themselves and ask "what i can offer?" to themselves, then world will become a better place. Because you don't get what you want, you get what you deserve.
If i can offer love and care, i want it back. If I can't give motivation and support, i shouldn't expect it back.
(This my perspective)
Possibly the best comment on here! Very Esther Perel! 👏🏼
True. By knowing what you can give, you know how you want to be treated
That's nice and all, but it's opposite to the issue here. Men approaching women whom they see as ideals inevitably think of themselves as being lower, lesser than them. They think they don't have anything to offer to such women, that they are not worthy. And it's not that they don't provide anything, it's just that it is not enough for such an ideal woman. So, asking yourself what you can offer is not a solution to this, because a common man cannot possibly offer enough to an ideal.
I love that question - "what can you offer to your partner?" - I'll be asking that from every guy who wants to date me now, haha.
In other words, 'what do you bring to the table' ...
That's so important yet we are (I am anyway) afraid to ask these big questions from fear of appearing ... hm, not sure what.
Riight
We aren't some object or trophy to fawn over, we are people, and we deserve to be treated as such.
@@isaacayal2698 No, sex doll cant cut your dick off😁 Can you see the difference?
@@miriam7779 hence the word "human"
@@miriam7779 LOL! Good one.
@N 2 You know, back in the Victorian era they actually used to use human skin as leather. I bet some human wallets exist out there.
I agree! Stop objectifying women!
Me, as a bisexual: Wooooah would you look at that nice piece of ass over there?? Holy ....
This guy speaks so well the "auto generated subtitle" is perfect. Check it out.
This is precisely why, after years of dating physically beautiful women and continually breaking up with who they were in reality, I dated and eventually married a woman I did not initially find attractive. What first drew me to her was the force of her magnetic personality, her clarity regarding what she wanted out of life, and her abundant goodness. It took me a while to have her become the judgmental ideal. Let's be honest here, we men are pretty shallow and are visual creatures. But it is possible to see beyond beauty if one focuses.
Maybe you meant to say "expand one's notion/parameters of beauty"? ( instead of looking beyond beauty?) Genuinely asking not correcting
@@sc33h3o3 Well stated, SuZen. And I think Dr. Peterson would agree with me if I said that, for most men (myself included) it's almost as though we are hard-wired to gravitate to physical beauty (symmetry, etc.) to the exclusion of womens' other wonderful attributes. We wage a lifelong war with our base instincts. I know most women think being a man is easy.....it's anything but.
Men and women are both shallow in different ways.
@@mbrewer421 That's just basic evolutionary biology, men and women are attracted to their mates for different reasons. Women are more "forgiving" of fading looks because an aging man's utility and resources are still quite useful to a woman. Men also typically age more gracefully due to various physiological factors. A man cheating with a younger woman is comparable to a woman leaving her husband when he loses his job or becomes ill.
@@TSMPimpDaddyPain just so you know, men do not age better than women. Men are simply allowed to age
The way he breaks down the complexity of what he is explaining by attaching his point to other relatable situations and stories for me at least is very beneficial and gives me an enhanced understanding of what he is trying to make you engage your mind in. I enjoy listening to your thought process (JP) behind all of these videos. Thank you sir,
I hope his health is better now, what a man 😮 I love his classes
I think this also applies to life as well..sacrifice the ideal job,ideal world to get closer to reality and work towards making it better.
Me watching this video in...
2019: his throat is dry from talking a lot
2021: he has covid
@Litchi 😆
Remember feeling great is also a covid symptom 😆😆😆
Lol
I love the humour in all of this. I do find JD very earnest and rather pretentious, and I find his essentialising of genders annoying. But he's sparked the funniest conversation I've seen in a long time
I mean, JP!!
Some women are scared to ask out men too. Sometimes people are just shy and scared to talk to people, regardless of how perfect or imperfect those people are.
Yes some women are like this, but it is a lot more common in men. Among the things that a man is 'designed' to do, as far as nature is concerned is to breed, a man can make 1-2, possibly even 3 women pregnant per day, where a women is designed to carry a child for 9 months and then look after it for many years after, i.e milk.
So it makes complete sense why men are the way they are. It is not a pressure of society, but a pressure of nature and instincts.
Their was this girl in another school that asked my classmate to be her boyfriend, a lot of his friends called him week and that the girl " had more balls then him", pretty sure they never got together. But culturally in a lot of places it's looked down upon for the woman to ask first, for she is too promiscuous, or something along those lines
@@nvstewart try like 5+ women a day
@@nvstewart😂 Who is providing for all these children and the women?
Men now can barely take care of the one family they have.
@@morenitaverde4636 that isn't because of nature and instincts. That is society's fault. Men having difficulties providing for their families is caused by a silly human invention called "money". I am pretty certain that when nature designed the homosapiens it didn't take in account for the negative effects money creates. It isn't the man's fault.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You just explained me, in 3 Minutes why my relationship 17 years ago (!) failed, I was still searching für a clue. I was over the man long ago, but not over this question. He did not want to lose the ideal, so he took the next woman.
Peterson knows exactly what and when to say what I need the most at that moment.
This really makes sense. I have never seen myself as worthy of being in an relationship. I see myself as having so much dependancy and social anxiety issues, that I cant imagine anyone outside my family putting up with me on a permanent basis. I've never even sought out a relationship in my life
I know how. I've done it myself.
It took years if analyzing my life. Certain things aren't your fault but what helped was to realize that the way I was behaving in response to feeling needy and lonely was my fault. I chose repeatedly through my life to exclude myself for the reasons the other person mentioned.
I started to face my problems and fears head on. I've given people my phone number knowing I would never be called. I've gone out with people (platonicly) I wasn't interested in, to at least try.
I've gone through so much loneliness and so much pain that never seems to end. But it helped me become confident in who I am. I'm not needy, now.
How's that going now? Let people have the chance of knowing you and decide for themselves before you decide if they're going to really like to be with you.
"They don't see her as an individual" huh, yeah that's the problem with the idealisation of the chivalrous chase isn't it? You're striving for external approval, that's where anxiety comes from. Start holding yourself to a pedestal, start finding motivation in your own goals and deeds and not the image and approval of another. Stop binding women to your expectation and stop binding yourself to her expectation. You're creating a cycle of torture.
EXACTLY perfectly said thank you
Then why did it work so well in the 40s? Women supported men in their endeavors. Men were motivated to impress her.
Dan The Man I don’t think women really had a choice but to be supportive
@@lydiaking322 they had more choices back then, now they are slave to their jobs and cant get away from it, men hate working, why do women want to work? and it was much less about choice and more in line with nature, the male provides and the female supports, there is no better system, choices or no choices, everything falls apart when that nuclear dynamic is broken
Dan The Man and by everything you mean what exactly?
I’m looking through the comments and there seems to be a number of women who misunderstand what’s he saying. Jordan isn’t saying that women don’t understand idealizing a love interest, or fearing rejection. He’s saying that women don’t appreciate how much the compulsion to live up to feminine standards governs a man’s motivation.
Same for women tbh. The rate of eating disorder and obsession with fashion or romance are telltale signs
Women also get rejected, even if you never ever initiate anything with a man. You get a man interested in you for a few days and you start to like him and then all of the sudden he dissappears. This is also a paintful experience for a woman.
and there in lies the problem that women have more so over men. Women tend to open themselves up more emotionally, early on. They can emotionally invested, whether right or wrong. It's more of a risk for women. That's why some women are reluctant more so. It's a risk that takes an emotional toll. Guys on the other hand are pretty basic) simple. We don't in general get emotionally invested in a woman until there is an actual relationship that involves more than good sex. And then, again, some guys aren't so sure what they want. They have feelings to, which is a little foreign to most when young. And they aren't going to easily share those feelings with you, the woman, or talk to their friends like you women folk do. That's the truth. If a woman wants a complete relationship with a man, she better bring more to the table than sex, spending money, and crying. Men aren't designed to be monogomous. We choose to be, the ones who are
@@luvyesmusici4886
No one said you have to be monogamous, no one said you have to suppress your feelings, no one said you can't open up to your friends or partner. These are precedences men have set for themselves.
@@kirikakirikakirika The majority of men and women are "wired" differently.
@@luvyesmusici4886
Everyone is "wired" differently. Not all men are the same as you, act the same way, or want the same thing. Just like not all women are the same.
@@luvyesmusici4886 What kind of women are you dealing with ffs?
An old boyfriend of mine jumped into Shallowater to impress someone and split his head open, and he didn't get the girl.
That's phukt up. But worth a thumbs up.
They never do😂😂😂
Why should she pick a dumb guy? He almost killed himself just to impress another person.
If he dived in head 1st I'd understand how he split his head open.
In the shahallow, shallowwww, in the shallow, shalalalalowwwww.........
This makes me have so much compassion for my husband. I need to do better by him.
He probably loves you to the end of the world and back. Just never disrespect him. Thats the main thing.
James Nelson why
@@herby5175 why what?
Is he doing better by you? Then, go ahead. But remember, this is a man speaking. Question everything, always
@@TianaT4 He's talking as a psychologist.
What a blessing it would have been to be one of his students!!!
Thanks you so much for your work. I found peace in your words.
I wish I had had a better relationship with my father.
Perhaps then I would have realised that I was worth more than the bad man I settled for and left.
It was raising my sons that I realised my worth.
I am now a very happy married woman in a loving supportive relationship.
Thanks kids. A love ya. X
You’re welcome mom! Not sure what this has to do with the topic in the video though
Btw never forget it’s your fathers fault you settled for the bad man. It’s probably the bad mans fault too
@@dewdropper1348 to be fair, I don't blame either of them.
Yeah, I hate them at times. But we are what we are.
peekeyeseek It’s hard for a young man full of hormones to listen to a middle aged man who is no longer a slave to them. Dads fuck up by being absent during their formative years
@@ShaunHensley oh his Dad was present.
But he wasn't present for his own. And THANK GOD.
What really helped me to be able to talk to a woman without pissing my pants as a teenager/early adult was a random talk i overheard from my younger sister. She had a friend over and they where chatting openly about them hanging at the mall and this cute guy that was working at the bakery and how the boy and her had locked eyes at one point and i intertupted her and i said "ok so you just went up to him and got hes nr right?" and she said "what!!?? NO!?! Are you crazy? id piss my pants!" Thats when it clicked for me, that girls are not this higher perfect beeing, there just like us guys, with there own insecurities aswell. The realisation kinda humanised girls for me and helped me get over the fear of ... pissing my pants hehe.
Thanks for sharing that, it's so true
haha nice story, hope youre doing fine :)
@@amiranhorlint8787 oh after that moment, it dident take long until i could just ask random girls off the street out on dates lol, im with a GF for almost 10 years now and doing great :)
@@magnusberge omg im so proud of you!! :D excellent comeback!
@JOSEPH STALIN No, its piss your pants atleast once so you stop beeing scared of it
This gentleman is completely on target. I only wish I knew this many years ago. Thanks for sharing this.
Women "know" because they mistake it for power all the time. It feels good to influence people like that, and it makes you feel good about yourself. Women seek these feelings knowingly and unknowingly.
"and unknowingly".....thank you!
My ex started messaging me a few weeks before Christmas and I had no idea why, but I was fairly certain she was just looking for a little "self ego boost" by getting me to talk with her again. Then after New Year her entire attitude changed and it just seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me again.
It half dug up some things that took me a long time to bury, and I was very angry at her for that. So if you girls INSIST on feeding off of us guys so that you can feel good about yourself, is it too much to ask that you use social media and drain a bunch of desperate strangers, and leave...your...ex...alone!
I've always loved your classroom lectures.
I absolutely love this man .and is Bang on. About most things.
For me it's very very sad when a man doesn't see me for who I am. The pretty face seems enough for them and they don't consider at all the personality, the similarities or the differences...what are the chances for us to get along...and strangely the ones that do consider your interests are not necessarily truly interested in you...it's just information to manipulate with...I don't know 🤷♀️😕
Yeah I feel the same.
just to make our illusion fantasy happier
I feel the same
Not true not true.
@@tromboner6061 what is not true? My experience?
At the end of the day I think rejection is a good thing because he/she is showing you that you’d be wasting your time but, it’s the manner in how they reject you I feel which is the scary part.
His way more impressive when doing his job. Not bad arguing about other stuff but this is what his thought processes work best for.
Spot on.
Hey, you're posting again on the clips channel. Awesome!
A man of excellence ❤.
Incredible! Just learned something and to see it in black and white and explained so clearly!!! Appreciate you, sir.
Man, people can say what they will about Jordan but the mans a continuing source of inspiration for me
Having the responsibility of encouraging someone is a heavy weight that no one is forced to have. For me the main problem of idealicing someone is treating them as an object. I think is not about gender but about treating people for what they are: people. Human beings with feelings and emotions.
"You never can have an ideal woman." Good point.
No one cares.
Or, common sense.
@@MimixLamb Do you mean: you can never have common sense?
@@nathanrice1796 No. I mean "you can never have an ideal woman" is common sense, nothing worth highlighting or labeling it as a "good point." No human is "ideal," man or woman.
@@nathanrice1796 No. I mean "you can never have an ideal woman" is common sense, nothing worth highlighting or labeling it as a "good point." No human is "ideal," man or woman.
This is the most beneficial video after break-up
thank you for referencing the full video. I'm happy to watch it!
where can I find you to prove my chivalry?
Men reject women too and it hurts - hurts as bad as rejected men feel. I'm a female and a guy rejected me for his friendship group. A _friendship_ group. Platonic, and I wasn't as attractive as he wanted, I guess. And he was a former cocaine addict and a photocopier repair man. Which is fine but he was not special. Years later and I still occasionally think about what happened.
True. Almost every guy I tried to pursue in my life has rejected me. It damaged me for good.
@@PrettyLittleLiar4 because men are confused by women who chase them. they want to do the chasing. even if i'm head over heels for a guy, i will only flirt with my eyes and let him chase me if he so wants to. otherwise they'll just run away
So true! In school I wasn't considered attractive enough to hang out with the boys. Instead they bullied me.
That scars definitely stay with me..
Well, almost every girl I have tried to pursue has rejected me too. I have been in two long distance relationship and they also left me for other guys. One kept cheating on me with the same guy and even after I told her to leave me for him, she wouldn't, but still cheated. I still don't hate her, but I always do wonder why she did that. Most of the other girls just say "you're a good guy but I don't like you that way". I'm fully aware I'm not particularly good looking, I'm not rich, but I would like to think I'm a good person, with my fair share of flaws, but I'm used to being rejected or abandoned.
Similar things have happened to my brother. He dated a girl for years but she left him for a guy who made more money than him.
You guys are right, men do reject women, but men in general get rejected even more. Take a look at any dating app. I'm from India and it's the same on matrimonial sites, most women want a guy who is good looking and makes more money than them.
Funnily enough, pretty much every girl I meet in person ends up turning me into their big brother, I don't even remember all exception to that. It used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. I guess I lose in the looks department or maybe they see something wrong with me that I don't and I wish someone told me what that is. But no one has and I'm used to being alone now. It hurts, but that's life.
Don't let anyone dim your light-
I'm not afraid of rejection as much as chosing the wrong partner and to regret it down the line
No one cares.
@@PrincessLovelyAngel so we should care
@@Im-not-alone-Im-full-of-myself who cares
@@PrincessLovelyAngel but why say who cares, its cruel thing to say
not agree?
@@Im-not-alone-Im-full-of-myself not cruel at all. Each adult cares about them self. Love problem is personal, no one cares.
First time I've heard a man articulate 'men' sufficiently, the thought never even crossed my mind! Thank you!
"Does it hurt ? Practice until it doesnt." - 7 Steps of Kung Fu.
I'm gonna use that when I'm at the gym🤗👌🏿
That's good.
I am a woman and for 39 years have been practicing and still hurt haha
Yes, a woman is a human being.
Clearly not what they’re teaching in school. “Novelty” on our privates... really?! He described sexual objectification.
@@tripleleotarot2416 I just read another woman on internet saying that in modern era female sexuality is disposable because of immodesty culture.
This generation is confused af lmao
That's not what we, men, have learned in our upbringing through culture. There are thousands of books and movies based on romantic ideals that idealize the feminine image, as if women were perfect godlike beautiful creatures. I'm not surprised men fear approaching women in adulthood. At all.
@@nathanvaladares1079 I have talked with men from India and Africa, and it really seems to be a problem. I am from Nordic countries, it's not so bad here.
@@tripleleotarot2416 They did not teach anything about relationships at my school :D
We need a female Jordan Peterson so we can get a wider perspective of psychology.
Why? I think J P is enough. What's a woman gonna say any different.
That is literally impossible.
You completely misunderstand the concepts of male versus female if you think that is possible.
The closest one I can think of is Marissa Peer maybe? Just because she talks about evolutionary psychology in a similar way but even that’s a reach. But just in general most psychologists don’t come close to Jordan Peterson, I can’t even think of another male psychologist that’s on his level.
How polygamous men n narcisti men don't care
They will cheat and justify cheating
That’s such a sweet thought - quite powerful
stop judging her only by her looks collect some data about her and then make the decision
YA!!!! what they said!!!
Oh dear, like she is an object!
I'm sure their is an app for that!!@!!
Yes! I was about to type something like this. Also nice pfp, I'm also a space fan.
Omg what kind of data? One of the girls in one of my classes in undergrad told us about a party she went to in high school days. The guy whose party it was had a set of scales at the front door. If a girl weighed over 55kg she wasn't allowed in. That kind of data?! 😂🙈
Dr JBP, this is great stuff, plain and simple. Fortunately, as a young man, teens actually, I took an attitude toward rejection think in this way:
"Oh well, my loss I'm sure. Plenty of fish in the sea though."
That way in my mind I allowed the young girl to be free to choose or reject as to her personal taste - and - didn't kick myself in the teeth over the rejection. After all, I was pretty discriminating in who I was attracted too also!! So why expect others not to be???
That was probably a defense mechanism, but I came to believe it to be true and was very helpful all my life. Respect others' choices.
Exactly 👍👏
@@cottoncandace7704
Thanks Candace, and to be honest, it was a true statement mostly, my loss I mean, my character was not stellar in those days, being generous to myself in saying that. Hope your New Year is a great one.
the problem with this line of thinking is the fact that ALL girls' personal taste is a man of value - rejection of a man is nature itself telling him he is not enough. this is also why once a guy builds something out of himself he becomes attractive to virtually all women at once, similarly to how a young beautiful woman is attractive to all men at once.
@@etofok
I'll say partially true e. You're omitting the varied tastes we're talking about here. The good DR will have the science but I recall reading that people of similar body types and intellectual ability are attracted to each other. Got to be careful with the ALL statements.
Point being is beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as the old country song says, "she's close enough to perfect for me."
The ladies think the same way, I have been lucky in my life to see numerous absolutely terrific marriages between people who many might say are not very attractive, and having observed them over time approaching 71 now, I can tell you they are long term and delightful to watch in action. Lots of very well adjusted kids too! Not All but generally, very good families.
Thanks for the reply and feel free to disagree. Hope your New Year is a Good one.
👆 This is probably one of the healthiest and most mature comments I've read so far. If only everyone thought like this.
I've always been aware of this fact and that's why i appreciate more the guys who show their true sides, who are ( bit clumsy, maybe stutter, bit shy, lil nervous, Spontaneous who make sweetly fool of themselves 😊) when they're approaching me or asking me out for the first time, than to those who approache me overconfidently and without showing any signs of nervousness/shyness because i consider the first ones feeling's to me true and honest while the calmness and indifferences of the latter ones makes me doubt the truthfulness of their feelings to me.
In short I found truth sexier than pretension, no matter how awkward the truth seems/feels and no matter how elegant/put_together that pretentious calmness seems/feels.
I've been using idealistic versions of the feminine since my pre-teens. Interesting to see someone explain my psyche, it's almost prophetic
Wow... this was a fantastic moment. Feeling more than happy that social media can have this instead of empty content
I continue to need to pick my jaw up off the floor evertime I listen to this man speek!!
We're all more similar than we know, and we all deserve the same respects.
Well said.
>>> NO . NO. Not everyone deserves respect. Hitler, Pol Pot, Biden, Clinton for example. Short list.
You seem a little naive.
Jordon is a great lecturer!!
People keep saying he sounds like Kermit the Frog and now I can’t unhear it 😩😂😂
Nooooooo
Can't stop heaeing it now
lmaooo
Start imagining Yoda.
My college professor sounds like Mickey Mouse. We all treat him like Yoda. When he talks, we listen.
Trav lol that class would be Extra funny
These are interesting points that I never really thought about. This explains my Husband's weird actions when we first met lol!
I would rather name it "what men should understand about themselves"
Or It’s like giving the women a key and than blaming them for not using it properly
yes!! how could he know what women don't understand about men, if he is not a woman 😂😂
Is so stupid that people still generalize gender today
@@CRAZY-rw2ew you are playing identity politics. “Just because he is a man he cannot understand what women do” - basically you right now.Plus the title is misleading, and during the video he does not generalise. don’t act like women do not generalise as well because they do it as much if not more than men
@@CRAZY-rw2ew you mean the two genders that exist that have a looong list of differences? those genders? LOL its okay to be different from each other jesus. you all wanting them to be the same is why we have so many young boys walking around in make-up, and shorts shorts with not a shred of masculinity in them. Then those kids cant get a girl because dispite what hardcore feminists want you to believe girls don't like guys who act like girls
@@mhdix7838 I mean that we should understand things about ourselves before trying to explain them to others. I'm talking only about the title. Still I really enjoyed watching the video, really interested in psychology of men (and women).
Imagine being in his early lectures and having him as your lecturer and then not understanding what he’s saying and falling asleep, only to know you fell asleep to a lecture from a person who is now, widely regarded, as one of the great philosophers of our time.
In my university he was and is associated with right wing sexist men being obsessed. Philosopher where