The Hidden Truth About Your Sexuality
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
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👉 In this episode, Teal Swan reveals the hidden truth about sexuality and how it plays a much bigger role in our lives and relationships than we think. She explains how our sexuality is shaped by our early life experiences, our deep desires, and our needs, and how it reflects in our personality, our expansion path, and our compatibility with others.
She also gives us some examples of how sexual incompatibility can point to deeper oppositional desires and needs between two people, and how sexual compatibility can greatly increase our chance of finding someone who is more compatible to us in our broader life. She invites us to become more conscious about what causes us to feel turned on and aroused, and what it means about our true selves. This episode will help you to understand yourself and others better, and to improve your sex life and your relationships.
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👉 Who Is Teal Swan?
Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader, Bestselling Author, and Speaker. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom, and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual pain.
The result when people are restored to wholeness is that the world will be restored to wholeness. Teal Swan's teachings invite people to step fully into their authenticity, knowing that this will bring about the positive change that we want to see in the world.
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Beginning and Ending Song:
Teal Swan Intro by Christian De Raco
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Thanx for ur contributions, Teal.
Interesting insights.
Who wrote this? It's getting to the point where I can't tell the difference between AI and the real Teal Swan.
Would sign up if I could get a one on one or group video chat if thats possible. Really love your videos Teal.
Wow Teal, I just see that you added a workbook to the video. Thankyou so much for offering these practical tools. ❤️ Grateful for all that you do.
Link 404:(
Such a valuable video! I don’t often promote books, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is an exception. It’s packed with insights on wealth and self-care that are not widely known. All the best to everyone
”Incompatible sexuality is one of the hardest things to work on and improve in a relationship. Not because it is hard to improve things regarding the act of sex itself. But because incompatible sexuality points to deeper oppositional desires and needs between two people. And these incompatibilities (which incompatible sexuality will point to) will not just limit themselves to the bedroom. They will ripple out across so many other aspects of a person’s life and their relationships”. Teal Swan 🌎 thank you Teal for talking about this 😘
And so, you need to heal yourself and improve yourself. You have to be the right person before you are capable of finding the right person (people), and the right compatibility. Otherwise, it's a futile pursuit.
Total b.s. if you are in a relationship, say what things you like. Don't assume your partner can read your mind. Sexual incompatibility is a excuse people use to cheat on partner. Then used as the reason to keep cheating.
Absolutely!
@@user-vn6ol1jn9l Very myopic take. Sexual incompatibility is absolutely real and isn't always communicated because it can be hard for one to articulate or even understand themselves. And of course, people will inappropriately and irresponsibly employ mendacious claims of "sexual incompatibility" to cheat, but that doesn't equate to a justification for reducing the existence of sexual incompatibility nor is it a valid claim in general. If it wasn't sexual incompatibility as an excuse to cheat, it would have been something else.
Is it ridiculous to state that people have different answers as to what matters in a sexual relationship? Some one who has been sexually taken advantage of in the past will have an exceptionally different list of needs in sexual encounters than someone who has not. These needs, unfortunately, are not always easy to recognize and might be impossible to meet, therefore such a situation can lead to sexual incompatibility.
TL;DR: Sexual/romantic needs are hard to articulate and sexual incompatibility =/= excuse for cheating.
That is pure junk. Romantic relationships are new in western civilization only being a couple of hundred years old before that all marriages were arranged pretty much and people learned to love each other and be with each other. The obsession in our culture with this is the reason why our society is spiraling to destruction
In my culture, there is a second spring. It is when a woman passes menopause. It is a time when a woman is freed from her reproductive cycle. Her youthful sensuality was wonderful, and her youthful second spring is also wonderful. She is no longer, subject to her desire for sexual fulfillment. She is young again, yet wise with experience.
I loved! What is your culture?
I’d like to know what women actually experienced menopause say about that
Teal won't know it's a second spring until it happens to her.
@@1HorseOpenSlayI'm really curious where you're from and what culture looks at it this way, I'd love to be a part of it!
PLEASE can we have more content about this !!! so interesting i want to read an entire BOOK on this teal
I'd like to figure this stuff about myself.. can anyone recommend any more material besides this video, that could help me
I am interested too@@Gr00vyMutati0n
Me too ❤
Thank you for highlighting sex isn't just about sex, and all of the dynamics at play underneath often illogical desires
GOD FORGOT TO GIVE WOMEN A SEX DRIVE.
Teal described me exactly. I had a severely bipolar mother (but a great father). I found a picture in encylopedia Britannica. I dreamed I would merge with one person for life. Sex for me was a metaphysical pursuit. I was a virgin when I got married. I had plenty of opportunities to have sex before marriage. While I wanted to merge she shut me out after about 2 years. We had 15 years of sexless marriage. We had two children of our own and then took on a foster daughter. My wife left a couple of years later and shut our foster daughter out of her life. I raised her on my own for the next 10 years. This was so difficult to do on my own with a difficult daughter (with her own trauma), I never remarried. Despite having deep desires, some crazy fantasies (like the one mentioned in the vid), and wanting deep connection ...I have lived a virtually sexless life.
it sounds like you have a very good quality heart, I think if you decide to let someone back into your life they will be lucky. I don't know how old you are but you can still find love.
@@m-bronte thank you. We are all mixtures of good along with some flaws thrown in to keep us humble.
Man, this is so true. Outside of the bedroom, I'm more of an independent dominant that wants the control. But sexually, I always had a subconscious desire to be dominated by a woman who is strong. So I was always confused thinking why was I not like this in any other way? Once I did some inner work and tried to figure it out I realized it was because my mother was always weak and fragile. Growing up as a child, she overlooked the abuse that my older brother was dishing to me and my younger brother, she always quit her jobs and left my Dad with all the finances, which caused us to have to lose our homes a lot of the time. She lacked mental and emotional strength and would without fail end up throwing tantrums and breaking things. And then finally when I was 15 she left all together and abandoned me. So, this is what made me desire a strong woman in control in the bedroom. It's the opposite of what my experience with my mother was growing up. I was left desiring a woman who could own me somehow. It's hard to admit, but it's true. The mind can be really trippy. And it's probably also why I'm attracted to Teal Swan's energy. A soft spoken woman, who has a motherly type aura but stands her ground and owns her power.
It's interesting that your mom was responsible for keeping your home when you had a family unit as a child. I'm sorry for your traumas 😢
In that case do you think it’s a lasting value to you to keep desiring being sexually dominated by a woman in the way that evokes your subconscious or do you believe it’s a subconscious desire you want to/have to heal?
In that case do you think the subconscious way in which you desire to be sexually dominated by a woman is a lasting value for you to have that’s worth holding onto or do you believe that subconscious desire deserves to be healed and to be let go of?
@@aminadolores4908It's probably something that OP needs to experience first. If all prior relationships did not meet this criteria and ended in disappointment and dissatisfaction, it would be important to find someone who fulfills this need and desire. Why let go of a desire that can be met? From there OP can determine if that was the missing ingredient or if there was a deeper level still.
That is some profound and deep self knowledge you have. Thank you for sharing it openly-it helps people like me to read about the insights people like you have into your own psyche and sexuality
I am not quite so clear on the origins of my own but I have made some headway. Off to do some more introspection now - I wish you luck! 🙂🌈
I'm seeking someone who can be vulnerable and show affection.
That pretty much sums it up for me.
And may you find it sooner than you think! Good luck to you 🙂
@@carriehobbes2448 Thank you! Same to you!
It's been a hard few years, so I hope my luck is turning around :)
search “dylan james self concept/relationship”
You are looking for a woman
I think this is my new favorite Teal video. Also, let's be real- sexual energy has lots of names: kundalini, prana, chi, sacral chakra energy, life force energy... how are you going to separate that from the totality of your life? You can't. And it's so linked to our subconscious wounds and needs that it's staggering.
An excellent observation - if I may say so I would actually say it is sexuality that is an expression of life force rather than the other way around - it is not as if asexual people do not have prana or chi. I Understand that for them Lifeforce expresses itself in a different form
@@carriehobbes2448 As I understand it, lack of sex drive/ interest in sexuality/ being repulsed by sexuality is usually a trauma response. But any form or expression of sexuality comes from a trauma response, regardless of how "tame", conventional, or vanilla it may seem to the outside. Like Teal mentions in this video, if you were really lonely in childhood and felt very disconnected from everyone around you, you may be drawn to more things like eye contact and positions that have your body closer to your partner's. I think it really does all comes down to the conditioning and contrast we experienced in childhood. My point of saying that sexual energy is life force energy is more to say that everyone has it, though it is more expressive, vibrant, and apparent in some people versus others based on where they are in their healing journeys and what their lifepath focus is.
Beautiful take
she's absolutely right. i came out as gay at 27 and my life has completly changed since.
even though i only told 2 friends and haven't started dating anyone, it felt like lifting a big fog over my eyes and feeling comfortable in my skin for the first time ever.
i started working out, taking care of myself better, expressing myself through clothes and other means, going out... it just really changed my inner state for the better, with just this self acceptance.
As a fellow of a human that desires the same sex as myself (im a lesbian) lol I can just say that I'm glad that you feel safe and better coming out as a gay human being. We don't choose who we love, it just happens... and I'm proud of you! Stay strong and know that if any person that you are friends with has an issue with who you love then they are not a friend. Stay safe. Always. ❤
Dats rayciss
Yaay❤
❤
proud of you ❤
When Robert California said "everything is sex" i knew he was on to something
Oscar Wilde said, “ everything in the world is about sex - except sex. Sex is about power.”
Chico Xavier from Brazil said the same.
Sexual energy is represented in everything, interactions, business, society, religion, revolution, commerce, food,clothes, building styles, laws.. everything! The same energy, dynamic, it’s not just confined between a male & a female body .. day & night represent feminine & musculine energies too, sun & moon, white & black.. etc!
Sexual energy is a divine creation energy it’s is involved in the atom it’s self (nucleus & protons)!
Yes, & not that long ago Freud was villified for pointing that out.
Great character on that show.
Oh, I really like this perspective of how sexual compatibility goes beyond sex. Lately I've been paying more attention to how my sexuality works, what I genuinely like, want and need in that field, this video is very helpful. Thanks!!! ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Are you thinking about lesbianism?
@@DeadlyKiss000 I'm Pansexual, I was referring more to the specific dynamics that make me feel aroused (whose details I rather not to share in a public space, LOL 😅) and not so much to the gender of the people I'm attracted to.
Thank you for this video. Please consider making a video regarding childhood sexual abuse and the ways it can manifest later in life
Might not be what you're looking for but i think she talks about it in the episode she did on Pedophilia
@@psyduck8025 thank you, that is a great and interesting video. Would love for her to expand on it
Yes that is a huge issue right now too. Unfortunately. Its sad.
I want this too
I would also love this
So I don’t need to force a change in my sexuality? From what i understand I simply need to be honest about what I need, and it’s out there for me?
Within the bounds of the law ;-)
Yes exactly. There is no right or wrong. Just be authentic and find a compatible partner.
This question points to what I think was missing from this video. A lot of good info but it seems to exclude how much change could/should happen after uncovering the motivations behind certain sexual desires. Not all of the driving factors to one’s own sexuality are healthy and there are things that would be in our best interest to heal rather than continue to play out. Things that hurt us or limit us in many ways outside of sex.
So no, you shouldn’t force a change to your sexuality. Especially not to force a match to someone else’s. But at the same time, that doesn’t mean there aren’t certain aspects that may need healing for your own sake.
@@fcz32 I really appreciate your response. It seems a topic you have examined in a genuine way.
Any chance you know some good online resources or books on this topic? If you do, I'd be very interested to know so as to explore this topic of integrated honest and healed sexuality. Cheers
@@smileyjones730here here, leaving the comment here to find out more.
You make me proud to be a human being. I am honored to be here, now, as you are also here. Your authenticity breeds empowerment. Period. 🙏🏼
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😂
I have never resonated with a character as much as I have Aly. Down to the childhood, desires, approach with a partner and the fact that I don’t drive anymore either. I rewatched that part so many times, it’s scary how deeply I resonated with it.
What’s scarier for me is I kind of relate to all the people exampled in this video. I’m constantly bouncing back and forth with what I want and how I want it. Constantly conflicted. It’s great 👍
me too...
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Women aren’t that complicated.
Really?? Tell us more though
Where did she get all this ability to communicate this so structured and logical? I do not wish to know the answer, just to express that I appreciate and applaud for this talk.
Just being able to recognize patterns in energy. The way people eat, choose certain things even hobbies tells you all about how they are in bed. You can connect things… cuz energy is the same if it’s above so will it be below 🤷🏽♀️
she's very high IQ
I think this is what we call..a Genius. It's very clear to me Teal is a highly evolved human. Rare.
(Teal’s examples almost always refer back to her own life.) I’m glad Teal is admitting to her flirtatiousness and wanting multiple male partners. I remember Sardeep mentioning (in a blog post? Or interview?) that Teal was very flirtatious with other men while they were married. I believe she met Ale when she was still with Sardeep. But what’s also interesting to me is that Teal kind of taught *against* polyamory for a long time - saying that people need to get good at 1 romantic relationship before they attempt having multiple partners 🤷🏽♀️
Actually very insightful. It explains why the bedroom issues between my ex husband and myself were the death knell for the marriage. I have a strong need for containment and open communication and he didn't/ couldn't understand that. I'm now in a relationship with a man who communicates very clearly and loves to spend hours just touching me, not necessarily in a sexual way but both of these things make me feel very loved.
I feel like you just explained my last relationship and now I understand why it didn't work out despite having very similar interests
My husband and I are not very compatible sexually but we do have compatability in most other things. I don't really many deeper things. But the incompatibility in our sexuality is really really challenging.
imagine not getting the only thing that makes you orgasm in a sexual relationship?
What did you mean to say when you said, 'I don't really many deeper things'? In what ways are you incompatible? This was my story too...we did life and family well, but sex was really poor. We are divorced now.
I just had a full-circle moment. There's so much good stuff here. Teal, you're awesome!
I can hear compatibility. Its been through fire and came out stronger.
I’ve been with someone for 28 years. I can say that this woman is 100% correct.
I am married for over 50 years. And i can second this
She is just pointing out an evidence that most adults already know about.
@@likearollingstone007 Then why are you here?
@@DemsRNutlesswhy would you care?
@@Pablo-gl9dj He doesn't care. He merely asked a logical question...😅 besides, if he did care, he would have responded and fuelled your need to fight! 😂
I think in spite of everyone's different histories, we should all aim to be honest with ourselves and our needs, be upfront and communicate them as much as possible - esp. in the early stages so that both parties know whether there are any non-negotiables or any type of major conflict in values/lifestyle. After that, if two people are attracted to and love one another and are considerate of each other and want to please the other partner (without disrespecting values/boundaries) they can grow together. I think in the early stages of dating/relationships, communication is very important regarding any types of major preferences or possible conflicts. Since partners will not have 100% of the same history and experience, there has to be some patience involved if they want to move foward in harmomy.
Wow! This explains and reveals a lot. I'm 77 y.o. this year and I never had such a revealing explanation about how deeply our sex drives are linked to our deep personal histories. You can imagine that, after five long term relationships and three marriages I've been questioning myself about this issue. Thank you for this new avenue of speculation and soul searching. You are precious, thank you sincerely. 🙏🏼
Alexander Lowen wrote many books about pleasure and he wrote one called love, bleep, and your heart
(of course I can't put the actual 3 letter word that begins with s cuz yt will censor my recommendation)
Anyway, chapter 2 of that book explains the difference between energy, sensations and feelings
There are many metaphysical things that people need to learn about the three lettered s word
If only people were really interested in learning
That's another issue
I’m interested if you have any other resources to share!
I am interested in learning. Do share more references. Thank you.
True, sexuality plays a large role, too large - for me a devastating and disastrous one, in many different ways. Now, finally, I am free of it; it has gone with the wind and I feel relieved and calm. Only regret is that I couldn't cut loose from it earlier in life.
@@carlyofearth no, it's the opposite. I did sex enough for a long life, got kids etc, but was utterly degraded by it. Those who feel comfortable with their sexuality I find suspect. Now I have quit it and can associate better with people.
@@Sal-fn1pm Being comforatble with sexuality is not a problem. The problem is people don't know how to seperate things in their lives. They can't, for instance, relate to other humans without factoring the eyes of sexuality......and that IS very limiting and destructive in relating authetntically with our fellow humans.
@@jeanjacqueslundi3502 well ok, be that as it may, I still fall in love etc but tend to forget about the sexual ingredient.
I get it
This is fascinating. I've been delving deeper into these concepts lately. I've realized what I truly like most. And my ex, I thought initally, was compatible with my desires because their desires were opposite in a sense. So it went well. But the longer we dated, I realized she had more desires that were similar to mine but hadn't accepted them within herself yet - so these conflicting desires made us even more incompatible and went over into other areas of the relationship. Thank you for the clear examples which helped to understand this, Teal 💙
In astrology one sees the myriad of different sexual needs and desires in individuals and how complex it is to find a match with someone who you can indeed have a fulfilling sexual expression with. But being in sync on other psychological levels isn't necessarily a given, so a lot of other emotional and psychological needs have to be addressed as well.
Is it possible to just genuinely like a person so much that you feel like sharing the most intimate activity there is, being present with them?
Safe to be yourself, no complicated kinks to decode.
Learning to honor them and yourself through a deepening relationship.
🤷♀️
I have a question. So, if our sexuality is an expression of our deeper needs that we have to become super conscious about, does that mean that we could potentially change our sexuality if we get our needs met otherwise? 🤔
That's really interesting. So I guess I really should be specifically looking for someone who demonstrates how they are thinking and feeling through their actions rather than words. that makes a lot of sense, since my mother would say she loved me but her actions demonstrated the opposite.
So true... I've still never found anyone sexually compatible with me. My emotional wounds and traumas has generated such fetishes in me that are very difficult to find some to be compatible with. It's so frustrating that I always end up attracting people who doesn't get my sexuality or even despise me for it.
I am sorry to hear this. I wonder what would happen to the extent of your fetishes if you found some resolution/healing of your wounds as you put it (EMDR therapy is excellent), and/OR you could try really bringing acceptance and love to your sexuality as it right now, and see what happens in your relationships. Just a couple of thoughts. Take care.
Teal said piss play 😩🤣
Hahaha noticed it too, all too well 😂😅 *dirty minds activating*
Peace play
Gulp...me too. (Actually, gulp may be the wrong word to use 😂).
Simon and Ally almost perfectly described a relationship I just had. And she also had the father issue you described in her childhood.
Same here brother. As she described Ally it was a def turn off for me. My ex had deep father issues and it prevented me from getting needs met sexually and in the relationship.
Powerful insight. Thank you Teal for being yourself, and living your courage and helping us all come into greater and greater healing and health in all areas of our lives.
One of the most interesting topics to create content/literature on is how one's fear and shame get mangled with desire and how it all transpires through one's sexuality... great video, Teal! I study and dissect my own sexual patterns as a part of shadow work so am familiar with the tropes discussed here.
Wow this incredible bc this is what I learned unfortunately over the last 10 years. Thank you for speaking it and sharing it, I am glad to know I am not alone in my discovery!
it’s beautiful to see teal giving closure to people👁️
the womans as beautiful as she is intelligent thats what makes her insanely magnetic. Could talk with this woman for hours and share ideas and opinions on numerous topics and ideas about anything and everything. She's the type of woman that draws you in physically (sexually) BUT also mentally and spirituality.
But our deepest core desires from life are primarily from our essence and soul. They may be influenced by, changed or blocked by nurture / our upbringing, but aren’t our sexual desires basically down to our true nature? That’s what I believe
I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately ❤️ thank you Teal
“Tanner wants to jump on a new opportunities.” Lol. Bet he does…(sips tea innocently)
Wow
I think I have just had an epiphany...
My Mirror Soul and I... when we get together, he makes it all about me. Which is what he has been trying to get across to me forever.
This is how he wants me to behave in life. And as soon as I start I simply allowing myself to receive... he will show up.
Incredible how you have helped me, Teal.
Ok Question: If you are the Tanner in this scenario, how do you engage in long lasting relationships? If you find another Tanner, where is the security in that? Tanner can up and leave at any time. Doesn’t Tanner need someone to ground and balance him out - while still supporting his desire for new experiences? Doesn’t there need to be an inner confrontation that some of these needs and desires aren’t workable in a committed relationship?
Best and most effective step toward lasting peace and content in our lives is conciouss effort to desexualize our lives after certain age, not as act as despair but as act of deeper spiritual understanding that outside objects can never bring lasting happines but to contrary nothing but attachment and fear of loosing it.. All objects, including sex, are empty and to give to any object such a big importance is certain way to ocean of suffering...
Incredibly insightful. The depth and nuance on this subject is crucial. Thank you!
Thank you again Teal.
I have been longing so much for something to shine a very clear light on this.. I have seen your other sexuality videos, and reflecting on them.
This one is going even deeper.
Thank you for this. I felt it was difficult to communicate this in a way where people would believe me. I needed something like this to send to help me articulate the importance of sexual compatibility to me.
Like why hasn't anyone talked about this until now? 😩 Thank you Teal, you are amazing! ❤
This is amazing. Would love to hear more on this topic
"Her best case scenario is to be shared by multiple men who are all taking ownership of her" hit hard 😂❤
Women aren’t complicated.
Wait seriously? That's so strange to me that someone would want that. Haha oh No offense sorry just so interesting.
They flip the Islamic scenario where the woman has 4 men? No! I like just one.
@@MrBooYa-yd5erbut unfortunately men still can't figure us out.😂
I don't think it's a bunch of men with one and only one women, they all can have other women too just all taking good care of them
Absolutely bloody brilliant! Thank you Teal - I resonate with SO much of what you explained. 😃🙏🏼
My previous relationship was massively sexually incompatible and there was always such a deep feeling in my gut that something wasn’t right, even though we loved each other and were devoted to each other for many years. It was deeply confusing and I judged myself so harshly for being unable to feel attracted to him once he started showing subtle but unmissable signs of toxic Male entitlement in our sex life. No surprise that my attraction to him and desire plummeted!
My current relationship has me with a wonderful sexual partner who is MUCH more sexually compatible to me. And guess what? He’s also MUCH more compatible to me in every other way! 🙂
Sadly a lot of lifelong trauma and health stuff has made it so that our sex life is not what it once was. But we are still attracted to each other and constantly flirt with and enjoy turning each other on just a little even during bad times. He is wonderful - he has taught me that good sex starts long before actual sex and involves enjoying the little teases between lovemaking sessions, with laughter and closeness and lots of love. No pressure - if either one of us isn’t feeling upto it we don’t feel rejected. We just love being together and if great sex happens - it’s a lovely bonus but never an obligation!
Thank you so much Teal - It was your voice in a Much older video that said “sometimes when your partner walks in the door and says they want a divorce, you think what did I do wrong? (missing the great images Blake used in the older videos while you spoke along!) But maybe that will lead you down the road where you will find someone even more better suited to you” - that turned out to be SO TRUE for me! 😃 💃🏻
The year I saw that was the year I met my current partner. We make each other happy and I am AMAZED I can still find him sexy - in my previous relationships my desire used to wane after the first year and I thought it was impossible for me to sustain attraction to any man. Not true at all - when it’s the RIGHT man it will burn like a steady strong flame 😊😊😊 🔥 😉
So grateful for your voice and clarity of expression Teal! 🙂🙏🏼💜🌈
This is great content.
I love how nuanced your presentation was as a result of using specific examples. When the content is full of generalisations the comments tend to get polarised.
Hey Teal, have an awesome weekend, excellent topic, very helpful points and observations.... keep smiling spring has sprung... many blessings Be Well 🕊️
I am so grateful for Teal. 😇✨ I have followed her since she started her You Tube channel. Her very honest straightforward wisdom has supported my life in countless ways. 🙏🕊️Thank you for being so brave, Teal!
Thank You for this! You just explained why my previous marraige did not work!
Too Real, bro! As per usual. Teal hits the nail on the head.
I can relate to simon, I’m rootin for him ✊
But if you work throug your childhood experiences, wouldn’t the way of your sexual expression change too? I’ve seen people be really into bdsm for example, and later after trauma work lose interest in it. Idk if I buy it that your childhood has deterministic effect on your sexual expression that can’t be shifted.
I see sensuality as something that always has the opportunity to change/evolve/morph/flex into different expressions and depends on a lot of factors as to how they are expressed. I feel that being comfortable enough with someone to be naked with them is a way to literally show your true self to someone, as you're exposed and vulnerable... also like how can you be so sure they're not into bdsm anymore? Maybe their current partner isn't into it and so there isn't the right opportunity for them to explore that kink at that moment into their lives
@@RedXian7 Yeah I can't be sure. But I've heard people themselves describe how their interests and desires changed after working through trauma. Even when there still would be a possibility to explore the kink should they want that.
You are the FIRST to state that. Thank you for that!.
But what now: I just learned that so many other things are more important. Originally, I always thought that sexual compatability is so important.
You share such wisdom every week. So fortunate to have discovered you. Your book has made such a difference. Thank you.
Teal do you have any videos, or could you do a video on how to figure out what our deepest desires are and how our childhood dynamics have shaped our desires? I’d like to know what a good match for me would be? Thankyou for this video it was extremely helpful ❤
Thank you for including homosexual relationships. I wasn't really engaging your channel because I thought you might not be accepting of those relationships because you mostly focused on straight relationships from what I've seen, and had similar advice to other women who are not accepting. This made me feel like I was failing because I "couldn't live up to" your advice, despite the fact that I had little or no desire to pursue straight relationships. Anyway that one choice did a lot for me so thanks! Will keep watching!
Yes, I also noticed she didn’t include LGBTQ relationships and was glad to see it here.
Yeah, I had seen so many videos of her talking about heterosexual relationships with no mention of other relationships that I had started to think they were the only ones she saw as valid. I'm glad to see that doesn't seem to be the case.
I feel myself and my girlfriend are both. Both of us desire sex but in different ways. We know a lot about why we desire certain things in sec and sometimes I think we are totally incompatible and it makes me devestated and then sometimes I think we are actually super compatible because we want to be as accepting as we can towards eachother. Both of us were heavily traumatized in our infant and childhood and are in our own therapy multiple times a week each. Not sure what the point I was gonna say was but I know both of us are a very long way from true connection but want to help eachother
I'm autistic and have had a traumatic childhood, oh I'm also a middle child from a broken home. I have no idea how to decode my sexuality. Or my emotions really. Sensation-wise, I can feel 5 different emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, excitement and joy. Anything more complex than that has to be rationally deduced. Jealousy for example, can have a source of anger, sadness or fear. Or a mix of a subset of them. Pride is joy about self-image or past actions. Shame is sadness about self-image or past-actions combined with anger directed at oneself. Sex, and intimacy in general, as experiences have never invoked anything other than excitement and joy. But the concepts themselves invoke all 5.. Because i was cheated on by the first girl I was ever intimate with, thinking about sex or feeling loved within certain contexts can invoke feelings of anger, sadness or fear.
You can ask me any emotion^ and I can tell you how they relate to those 5 "emotional sensations". I can always rationally deduce what causes me to feel those 5 sensations. But even though I dive into my emotions, and can mostly figure out what causes them, I don't necessarily listen to my emotions. They are a feedback system for what something means TO ME. But what I do depends on what I think is important, not on how I feel. And generally speaking, I am not the most important to myself, at the very least anyone else involved should be just as important. As a result, my emotional tension often increases because the source of my negative emotions is regularly left unresolved.
Since my last relationship ended, I miss intimacy. I miss feeling loved. They are both cognitive concepts related to excitement and joy. I am sad that I don't have them anymore. But I fear them more than I miss them due to the devastating effect my last long-term relationship ending had on me.
^= What neurotypical people consider emotions but I consider cognitive concepts that are really just a mix of emotions.
People who say they like piss play are either disturbed or just taking the piss...
Well said
This is an intriguing video, and I've thought about this concept a lot. There's a lot I could say about my sexuality because I've had a ton of issues with it ever since the very start. It developed deformed by trauma, and I've spent so much time and work on resolving that, little by little. But I can't get into all of that in a youtube comment as it would be way too much, so I'm choosing to only focus on one aspect here.
I used to be very confused if I was attracted to men or women. Turns out I was holding onto the idea that I was bisexual out of shame and guilt, because I had created a whole life around that identity for 17 years, built relationships, and ended relationships, on that premise. I even had a long term girlfriend by the time I started to realize that it wasn't my thing. I was afraid of breaking her heart, of ruining her life. She's one of the most wonderful people I've ever known, and my closest friend.
But eventually I had to let go of those fears, stop clutching to them. Not be a slave to my own feelings, and trap myself in convictions. And as soon as I did let go of (most of) that, the truth of my sexuality came out fast. I'm really just a straight woman after all. After all that. And I talked it out with my girlfriend, I broke up with her, knowing this kind of incompatibility isn't fixable, but did everything I could to maintain a strong emotional connection with her as a friend. And it worked surprisingly well.
The only problem is that she keeps holding on to the idea that my feelings can change, because I used to be so confused about my sexuality before. So despite I did break up and put in so much work talk everything out, I keep holding back out of fear of losing her, and as a result I keep living in constant tension that she's clinging onto me and refusing to let go. I feel like I can't start dating new people. It's been almost 3 years. It's draining, but I keep struggling with feeling like I'm a bad person for this. Like I led her on, and I feel responsible for her wounds. I feel like I caused this conflict by entering a relationship I shouldn't have.
Somehow, this is harder than it was for me to process the sexual trauma in my childhood. Because this is here right now, not something that happened in the past, and this is about a person I love, not someone I hate. And in this situation, I'm the person who fucked up, not the victim.
It's like I know what I need to do. I can feel it, urging me from deep within. That I need to just be honest and put my foot down, instead of dancing around the bush endlessly. But I keep supressing, minimizing and procrastinating that need. When I think about that mess, and how it controls me, it feels like my sexuality is a very big part of me.
My now ex isn't a controlling person though. It's not that simple. We are both just terribly scared of conflict with "people pleasing" tendencies. So we're only really harmful to ourselves as we keep endlessly kissing each other's asses to avoid hurting the other, but that has indirectly created a toxic relationship, because now neither of us dares to take any risks. Essentially, we paved a path to hell with good intentions. And it's very difficult to fix. In a sense, it doesn't feel like I ever broke up with her at all. I feel trapped.
To clarify, I don't want to be tied to this relationship. I want to find a husband someday. I keep dreaming about that. My head is full of romantic fantasies involving men. And I want sex too, but more than anything I just want to feel free to seek out what I'm actually attracted to. And I don't want to be that kinda single woman who has unhealthy ties with an ex.
But I don't want to ditch my only friend for the faint hope of finding (actually compatible) love in some remote future either. Is that worth it? That's a really big question. I can't answer it. But that's the choice I've been unable to make for years, hoping that nature's cause will make the choice for me. But it just doesn't. It's lingering, holding its breath seemingly forever, waiting for me to take some damn responsibility of my own life.
Quiet the mind and allow your heart to seek knowledge and direction from Your Creator, The Creator.
The most loving thing you can do for both of your sake is to be brutally honest. It’s not fair to either of you. Maybe you need to find out why you can’t be very honest. (I understand you don’t want to hurt her but not being honest does hurt)
Very well written… you have right about this a lot!!!
Have you asked yourself why you keep torturing yourself? (I’m asking the question dole on a place of personal experience. Not trying to be mean…) Not sure I have an answer yet but I am getting better.
To quote Teal, “What would someone who loves themselves do?”
🙏🙏🙏🙏 good luck
Literally was just diving into this topic. Perfect timing 🙏
Much love Teal! Love the necklace. ❤ Thanks for sharing this.
I thought there were parts of each one of these examples that were commensurate with my experiences, though I get that wasn't the point and am glad to having been pointed toward exploring topics like "what was my first arousal and what it's implications in my life are. How sexuality affects the personality or it's specific development is a fascinating question to puzzle out.
Sexuality stems from the deepest parts of ourselves. When we are not in tune with those parts of ourselves, sexuality acts as the extreme of what we are not in tune with. The more aware we are of ourselves, the more actively we are able to choose the life we live, both, in and out, of the bedroom.
It's not just the INFORMATION AGE...
It is the PERCEPTION AGE...
It is the PERCEPTION (of a SENTIENT SINGULARITY) which formulates, OBSERVES and either choose to validate it with their conscience awareness (or not) which gives that information VALUE...
The VALUE of information is on a scale
Which is relative directly to the perception
Of a SENTIENT SINGULARITY, only.
Information is VALUELESS...
Unless empowered by the
CONSCIENCE AWARENESS
Of a SENTIENT SINGULARITY.
VALUE ONLY COMES FROM
THE SENTIENT SINGULARITY
OBSERVING THE INFORMATION.
....OF WHICH WE ALL ARE....
PERCEPTION DIRECTS THE CONSCIOUSNESS
OF A SENTIENT SINGULARITY.
PERCEPTION is the jewel of consciousness
Perception is consciousness in motion.
That motion perpetuates the continuum
Of THE LIFESTREAM.
WHY DO I FEEL EXPOSED
I love this video…. Sexuality is not only about sex. And in fact, begins OUTSIDE of sex. It is our essence. As someone that is just beginning to delve into the deeper parts of this journey, I want to know more about my essence… my own sexuality, completely separate from my partner. Who am I, and what’s important to me?
I’m diving into the workbook and hoping to find some solid answers.
Anyone else have suggestions for questions?
Sexuality is faaar more complex than I thought 💭
Can you please, seriously, make a video about incest, covert, and obvious incest, subconscious and conscious patterns? And what to do if you fear your spouse has these feelings towards their siblings?
Amazing. Teal was talking about a gay couple's sex life and I wasn't grossed out!! Now that's skill!! Go, Teal!!!
Would love to see a video of your take on non-binary ppl, as a NB person myself I often wonder about how that integrates into society in a more "spiritual" way, idk how to put it. And how that bleeds into sexuality, cuz in my sexual experience (and life in general, as this video points out) I feel like can embody either "masculine" or "femenine" energy depending on the person I'm with or emotional state I'm in, and this doesn't confuse me, it's just a versatility I learned to own
I'd love to hear what Teal has to say on this topic on particular
I have no one to explore this with. My sexuality is a closed book, next chapters are yet to be written. But right now there isn’t anything happening. Even if I would like to.
Brilliant talk. Not many dive into the depth of sexual needs and sexual compatibility in a relationship.
Good explanation Teal swan thank you, but what are the compatibilities? i mean how should we choose then?!
Yes, and cf Charles & Diana, who were unhappy incompatible because both needed the emotional safety of a strong, stable, supportive spouse.
Thank You for this deeply spiritual support as you provide us of multiple perspectives ❤🙏✨️
Love You Teal!
The problem today is that sex is way too important. Most sexual practices are not at all normal
Currently on Day 837 of Semen Retention. Infinity more to go!
No one gives a 💩
...and who cares?
I tried SR for 13 Months and it was just a huge waste of time. Especially when you consider the fact that we're sexual beings and our bodies reward us for reproducing.
You are a bodybuilder who brags his muscles without doing weight training
Congrats man. Don’t mind the haters
This woman is so smart and I just can’t get over it
Thank you for including a gay couple as an example❤
great video, thanks.
Just my 2cents:
sometimes
sex is the only thing in common between 2 persons. It is great sex, but everything else is not there. Like being from different planets. I see this like a pattern especially when the sexual drive is such a strong magnet. Nothing else is there to unite the two. this happened to a friend of mine 😉😉😉😉
That's a powerful video, thank you so much!
Do you have any tips for individuals with severe sexual trauma trying to decide their sexuality?
My advice would be to Find someone who loves you and cares about your emotional well being...Who can be patient... so you can feel safe enough to be vulernable and be able to honetly communicate. Blessings!
Yeah I feel like this doesn’t speak to me, due to my trauma. I’ve had a painful and negative association with sex altogether. While I get that it’s a reflection of my life, I wish there were a video on this.
That cute smile at 1:52. I wonder what thought crossed her mind there.
A strange thing that has happened for the 10 years I've watched and followed your work, is that my left eye starts to burn and water and need me to blink
Do you know how this happens
I absolutely love this information. This is incredibly insightful. This is exactly what I think about. But putting an actual video to it just confirms so much. Thank you , Teal. I appreciate the work you’re doing.
Teal is a genius... do you see? We are fortunate to have this insight shared with us.
So, is there like a chart showing compatible sexualities? Or, partial compatibles?
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:26 *🎭 Sexuality's depth transcends the bedroom.*
01:49 *🔄 Incompatible sexuality reveals deep oppositions.*
04:21 *🌐 Early life shapes unique sexualities.*
07:49 *🔗 Sexual incompatibility affects broader life.*
11:47 *🚀 True sexuality seeks extreme experimentation.*
13:10 *🕵️♂️ Decode your unique sexuality for self-discovery.*
Made with HARPA AI
Okay so then why are people sexually attracted to each other when they’re not sexually compatible? I’m trying to reconcile how this dovetails with her video on sexual attraction.
Here Teal Swan comes through with the most cogent and groundbreaking message
BRAVO!
I understand that I am violating your mission to market to your own clientele; but this specific issue can be sharply magnified by the typology as described by Beatrice Chestnut. btw her thesis is well amplified by your presentation, I am pointing to a complimentary effect.