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Why There Is No 'Happily Ever After'
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- Опубликовано: 22 сен 2020
- We long to reach a state where we can at last be happy and calm forever. But so long as we are alive, stability will always elude us for reasons we would do well to understand and accept with grace. We haven't failed if we can't reach a 'happily ever after'; we're simply very human.
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“What most of us long for above all else is ‘security’, the sense that we are - at last - safe on the earth. We pin our hopes for security on a shifting array of targets: a happy relationship, a house, children, a good profession, public respect, a certain sum of money… When these are ours, we fervently believe, we will finally be at peace. We may mock the term ‘happily ever after,’ synonymous as it is with naive children’s literature but in practice, we do indeed tend to live as if we could one day, somewhere over the horizon, reach a place of rest, satisfaction and safety…”
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There is a "Happily ever after," after Jesus comes back and brings the dead to heaven.
@Around Jnu Alain De Botton
The position you take in this video is hypocritical. The actual answer is; after you have completed a goal (or as you journey towards it) you will gain the knowledge and ability to adjust/change your goal to things of higher value. These things you do ripple through the future. In your words, "We can't pull up to and be sheltered in these locations(family, finances, novel)", but they can act as stepping stones or failed experiments for others to journey to whatever is of highest value.
Can you make a transcript (text) available in Spanish? Please
This has to be THE hardest lesson for humans to learn.
the poor in the third wont ever learn such wisdom
So true, and even more so because we are constantly sold the idea that doing this or buying that will bring us that permanent satisfaction and piece of mind that we all are looking for.
Unfortunately, there's no such thing. So when our possessions or activities fail to deliver that which they're incapable of giving, our disappoinment doubles, and that fact makes us even more sad.
Accepting reality and adapting to it seems to truly be the only way to go about it
Eduardo Viajero That is ridiculous. What makes you think the poor in the third world don’t have a better sense of this than those elsewhere? They likely have less access to social media, tv, Internet, and advertising that tells them to continue to strive without ceasing.
@@free22 💯👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
what is hard there? Just banal fact that happiness is a journey, not stable "end of all". And negative emotions - is the part of happiness if you are happy with your life overall.
Such a condescending stupid pessimism out of nowhere.
And yes, fairytales is not for such idiotic letter-by-letter treatment. I'm 32 and I love fantasy and fairytales. And happiness is more subtle thing that you all ever thought of.
But no, people better will meandering and learning how to be "grown-ups", grumpy, pessimistic and pseudo-realistic instead of how to be yourself, how to be happy, how to be a good person and so on. Every mindset is not better than the others and every mindset requires years of practice.
Chose your character - happy and free person who loves the world or quasi-depressive pseudo-realistic quite sad (but tolerant to this sadness) grown-up, given-up person who teaches others how to be like oneself.
"There is only the peace that must be won again and again, each new day of our lives" - Narcissus & Goldmund by Hermann Hesse
I just wanted to make an impact on your day
Very WELL SAID Augustine George
Why fall and get up...fall and get up...fall and get up...please stop it, it is a silly approach...remember eventually there is peace after we die..but most importantly before we are born too....
ruclips.net/video/f_WuYoq-OYw/видео.html
Exciting to see a quote here from my soul-mate, Mr. Hesse!! ❤️❤️❤️
@@karenschulz6733 Narcissus and Goldmund is an absolute favorite for me along with Steppenwolf
As I grow older I no longer want to become happy. I want to become mindful, aware of every emotions I'm feeling. I no longer want to become rich, but I want to be enough. But well I think this world proves otherwise, we seem to live in a world that makes us feel like we can never have enough, and we will never be enough. But like you said, just be aware of this notion and live according to your own terms. And enjoy the ride! :)
I think media has a big role to play in this.
Constant bombardment of what "success" is makes us think that materialistic things have more importance than peace of mind.
We often forget happiness is byproduct of what we do and true happiness lies in living a truly authentic life
Pratik Lomte more than media, churches!
Whatever your goals are, once completed allows the brain to release dopamine. You're still chasing a happy feeling without knowing it.
Happiness is a state of mind. You actually CHOOSE to be happy. If your glass is always half empty or if you constantly blame others for the life you are living you will never be happy. Awareness of emotions only helps to understand them and to give them names and to react in the right way to them. But in order to feel enough you need to love yourself the way you are NOW, tomorrow, in the past and in the future. It‘s full acceptance you need to achieve.
Adhi S Well, you are enough now, so mission accomplished!
Life is so stupid. We live in a constant state of longing and never feel satisfied. Like wtf is that
When we get old enough to know what to do we are often out of time to do it.
We don't have freewill.We are characters in a game, and we're beginning to realise this,to "wake up". It's very possible we are AI in a simulation.
Guys, guys, poo poo pee pee
Judging from your comment, you're seeing life with the wrong eye
such an useless comment
"No matter what goals we have: they will NEVER be enough." ...
"The only destination is the journey."
Indeed..
You're wrong
Peace exists
Constant bombardment of media of what "success" is makes us think that materialistic things have more importance than peace of mind.
We often forget happiness is byproduct of what we do and true happiness lies in living a truly authentic life
Yes. Status anxiety undermines the simple fulfillment of being here, being aware. It does require a kind of courage to surrender to the brute fact of existence, our defenselessness in the face of chance and inevitability. But that intensity of engagement is what imbues life with meaning despite the absence of a telos.
"True happiness lies in living a truly authentic life." YES
what a comment; makes my day
"Success does not define happiness. Happiness defines success." ☺️
"a truly authentic life"
I've heard of this, but never beyond the coolness of its profundity.
Can anyone summarize what it means, without using similarly meaningless words or phrases? In other words, please provide or link a truly authentic summary.
This video is depressing and encouraging at the same time.
Nothing encouraging about it. It is just horrible and depressing and kinda not entirely true.
@@paloma4444 It encourages you to appreciate the present.
The channel itself is depressing
@Ellen Willoughby Except this video is dumb. Because 'happily ever after' just means finding a long term contentment in your life. It does not mean perfection or that nothing will ever be wrong ever.
Yeah 😄
Sometimes I learn more from the comments than the actual video itself. Cheers everyone!
I should say.
Same
"The only destination is the journey"
Nice
Absolutely true
@Celtic Revival / Adfywiad Celtaidd "tantric sex"
Is that with a hooker on the beach?
So the only goal is the kick and the only lottery win is the ticket. Nah that doesn't make sense.
@@EuropeanQoheleth bro what are you talking about
the real lottery win is realizing that not even the lottery makes you happy, and that what you already have can be enjoyed to its max, so there’s no need to even buy any ticket in the first place
In German there are two beautiful words that describe this human condition. One is Sehnsucht, which refers to the continuous longing and yearning for something or someone else and is inbuilt in our human nature. The second word is Weltschmerz which is what we feel when we can’t find peace nor rest our mind whilst looking at the world around us.
_"There's no such thing as happily ever after. I'll always have more work to do."_
Steven Universe: The Movie
This is the last place i would expect a quote from steven universe but im so glad there is.
@@noodlery7034 I make Steven Universe animatics and I am pleased haha
I make Steven Universe animatics and I am pleased haha
There is this one thing my grandmother would always say "the day I stopped working, is the day I will die" she never had a job! Now I know exactly what she meant.
Please don't ever quote Rebecca Sugar's disastrous show ever again.
This is the great burden of my life, thinking “I’ll be happy when...”
Yep. The “when then” syndrome
The book "The subtle art of not giving a fuck" goes into this a lot, it's very enlightening (be patient with its annoying style, it's worth it). It basically says life will always be full of problems but happiness is about choosing which problems you want and solving them to turn them into better problems, which then create other problems and so on. My personal side note to that would be that the more happiness something brings you, the more problems it inherently gives you to solve, but if you genuinely chose it, you'll also be at peace with having to solve the huge problems that come with it. The things we tend to value in life, like a life partner, kids, friends, family, something fulfilling to do, can bring us peace and unending problems; they're not mutually exclusive, they belong together.
thank you for this, truly.
I feel you are correct. I would also like to add that ultimately those things we value will never truly last. Whether it’s family, friends, kids, etc,. none of it will ever give aid a lasting positivity. People who make those things they’re everything usually end up falling apart in the long run. Seek purpose that lives beyond you and your life will never be without meaning.
There is no reward in this life. There is only anticipation of reward. Enjoy the expectation.
The only peace is in knowing that there is no peace.
She don’t lie, cocain....!
May be not for humans, but peace is our spiritual state of being.
This is why I decided to live my life as a warrior and passionately love war. The only way to live for me.
@@dochmbi there's war within you. Which you've to work on with the help of your inner self.
@madison green exactly. The system is what's creating the mess around the world. Kind of a Matrix. Your looked down at if you're not part of it.
Only the dead have known the end of war.
Okay, commissar.
This is taken from MW2, right? 😂
Watching this in the middle of a depressive episode was not the best idea.
This actually helped mine.. I was so stressed about lack of money/ fame but now I realise that “desire is the root of all evil”, you will always have problems so choose a path in life with the problems you want to have. “There is only the peace that must be won again and again each day of our lives”. Media has us believing we need more clout in some form or another, but really you choose what brings you fulfilment, and that’s not necessarily a fancy job, huge paycheck, large house, expensive holidays, designer garms.. maybe it’s a small vegetable patch or a library of good books or a painting hobby..
yalnız değilsin. ama geçecek söz :)
Children’s literature isn’t naive. “Idealistic” would be a better word. One has to be able to think or not think in order to be naive.
Anonymous Panacea Oh, geesh.
I can’t accept an account named wap correcting school of life
Jordan Shepard 151 people seem to agree with me.
@@wap9137 i agree too which is the issue here
I feel happy and calm when I look at large trees and water while having my capuchino. I also like watching swans, puppies, horses and squerrels. The smell of plants also gives me joy. Long walks improves my mood and gives me confidence. Meditation before going the bed keeps me clam. Dark chocolate with green tea gives me satisfaction. Hehe probably I'm taking nonsense but this is my life.
The buddha says the root of all suffering is desire.. let's not suffer and worry!
We're all going to die so enjoy the moment :)
Peace and love to you!
Desiring no desire is a desire
@@guest_informant The English word 'desire' cannot accurately deliver what he meant in his teachings in this regard.
@@guest_informant Desiring Virtue has not the same conotation like desiring sexual pleasures in buddha's original language. Of course you need to desire the end of suffering to walk among the path of liberation.
Yes true!
@@guest_informant misses the point. Desire of no desire makes you take the path to end desire, so in the end theres even no desire to end desire
You never stop working on yourself it's like once you get better or reach a new height you unlock a new level of challenges
You gotta dance like there is nobody watching, love like you never be hurt, sing like there is nobody listening, and live like it is heaven on earth ✌🏼
It's called faking 😊
@@maximhollandnederlandthene7640 Truth. But living while calling it fakeness and believing in that permanent state of mind, will only lead to a more miserable life.
True!
You need positive thoughts to put positive energy, it is not faking it is motivating yourself
Nice quote
The calmness of mind comes from accepting our own mortality. When we don't fear death, we don't fear anything.
Homo Sapiens has a good touch on this topic. Humans before 80 years ago lived a life with the same level of happiness as people today,. Happiness comes from with in, if you are a happy person, you will always be happy. if you are a unhappy person, you will always be unhappy. You would have some ups and downs when some events happen, but later on your level of happiness will always come to it's usual state
That book was great
Damn. Good morning, I guess
Hailey Pint Made me chuckle. Have a good day 🙂
Lol!
What do you think coffee is for.
Lol
Happily Ever After is being at peace with ourselves on a moment by moment basis. Everything else is just a story we indulge in. Self love, self care, self compassion, self forgiveness are our priorities. From this position we can extend ourselves because what we are is what we see (projection) and in accepting ourselves we can finally accept the other.
A life of absolute happiness and peace is impossible but a life of absolute misery, anxiety and depression is possible if you allow it. This is sad but true.
Very true...ur comment deserves a lot more likes...
After 44 years, I am happily living day to day.
Life consists of two days, one for you one against you. So when it's for you don't be proud or reckless, and when it's against you be patient
I fully accepted the impossibilities you speak of long ago due to going through a large amount of bullshit in my life(and I do mean large). Now though, I am extremely insecure because I'm an unemployed, single father, who I cannot at this moment get unemployment because I was fired from my job due to getting caught up in something that was meant as a joke, but spread around my workplace, by the person I was trying to joke and be friends with, as a mean spirited, half racist comment, so right there I was screwed. I am DEFINITELY NOT racist! It happened only days after George Floyd so I didn't have a leg or stump to stand on. I couldn't defend myself in any way. I have 2 children who depend on me, but my supposed friend apparently had that farthest from her mind. I'm down to nothing now, all my small savings burnt through. All I need in this world to achieve a level of contentment I can live well with is to become employed by someone where I can make a living where I've maybe got a couple bucks leftover when I get my paycheck. Maybe even save back up some retirement money. I feel like even that simple thing is usually just outside my grasp and it is just getting really hard. Now I have to try and explain why I got terminated from my last job for being racist to any potential future employer. That sounds super enjoyable. I so hope I can get out of this big mess for my children and myself. I've tried really hard in my life to do right my people and respect others and conduct myself with dignity and compassion. I don't think a tiny bit of security is too much to ask for. Sorry to pour all this out on whoever's reading this. I just don't have anybody to talk to anymore and it gets lonely and overwhelming even for someone with the mental fortitude I possess. Best of luck and life to everyone of you out there.
Hang in there mate. You will make it
You will actually make it brother. You will definitely find something what you will love(Employment)
You are too worried about your problems. Just think about the worst and let it go.
Don't feel lonely though. You can mail me anytime. I am free(unemployed) . So I can listen to you😀 Happily
I’m glad you shared and got it out the best way you knew how. I’m sure you’ll get a job soon. Go for the first thing you see fit. You’ll be okay soon. You won’t have to worry so much in a bit okay ? Your sufferings might not go away completely but they will ebb and flow. It’s going to come time for them to ebb. Thank you for not giving up ❤️
I can offer no simple analysis of / answers to your current situation. To future potential employers, far better (in my view) to 'own up' to a silly/stupid mistake, say that you've learnt a lesson the hard way and demonstrate you've moved on. Don't dwell on the actions of the person you were attemping to impress, it will do you no favours (internally psychologically, or externally with future employers). It goes without saying that these are difficult times, but you'll get through it. Albeit totally different circumstances, I can speak from personal experience; the darkness will pass eventually, maybe sooner than you might think. Good luck with it all.
I've been there before. For completely different reasons. It's been always hard to get the job that you want or need; and that puts you into a lot of struggling. And even now that I have a decent income sometimes it's hard to make ends meet. But we have no choice: we have to keep on pushing.
"The only destination is the journey"
Absolutely!
The stuff we are exposed to as children creates this. Disney is a great example. These influences have majorly screwed many of us up. I think Happily Ever After is -- or even Happiness -- is relative terminology that simply does not exist. Forced joy/ optimism and Pollyanna is worse. Creates even more stress. Acceptance and good works in love of others seems to calm us more. I think this is why so many people are dependent on their pets because they find unconditional response that is stable, steady, unmalleable.
You have no idea how much I needed to hear that today. I often feel like I wasted a lot of time in my life and want to aim for some high goal to make up for the time I’ve been unproductive. But I now see that there is no goal that will be enough, and I have to just focus on finding pleasure in the journey.
Oh my God! Thank you for making me feel so much better about my shitty, loveless life! This video has given me a wonderful new perspective and level of peace that is so healing, I'm both laughing and crying tears of joy at the same time! I feel enlightened, like God has just given me some deep secret about humanity and finally I can stop searching for that thing that will finally make me happy. These videos are worth more than all my years in therapy!
As I see it, it’s not about you. It’s what you do. Reap what you sow and your life may find something that keeps you going until the end.
Do you have anything on dealing with the loss of a dear pet? My cat of 16 years recently passed. We were expecting it but the end was months earlier than what the vet said.
Mourning of a pet can be different because it’s an uncomplicated love, like with a baby but for much longer. When they’re gone it ends a huge part of your daily routine and reliable source of joy and calm.
I'm sorry for your loss, I know it isn't much help but time really does help make things more bearable - I hope you can find some peace in the fact that your cat lived a long and happy life and that was because of you! Wishing you well x
@@alexandragood7364 Thank you for your kindness. I did the best I could for him as an inexperienced first time cat owner. He taught me to open my heart and live in the moment. I cherished every day. Of that at least I have no regrets.
@@johnyricco1220 I bet he knew that, you filled his 16 years with love and comfort, and while it's hard to lose a pet - it might help to try and remember the happiness you brought into his life and the happiness he brought into yours 💕
@@alexandragood7364 He did, and I knew he appreciated it, especially during our last few days. I never missed anything this much and it hurts now more than when he died. That means I had something special and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. In this small chapter of life I had the full human experience.
@JW McCabe It's not that simple. Pets can be loved like a parent or a sibling. The loss of a pet can be an incredibly painful time. Would you tell someone who lost their grandparent to just get another one?
An individual has more desires than the whole world together can ever fulfill.
This channel is simply fantastic!!! It teaches the essential elements of being human. This is so critical when modern family and society no longer does. If only this course was a part of the school curriculum.
These things give us goals and purpose in a way though I think. Life would be pretty darn boring otherwise I'd imagine.
Youre missing the point, he is not suggestions or saying that there is no point in having goals or dreams. Is about the journey mannn
'Goals and purpose' will occupy your resources-time, energy, money etc-and make life pass more quickly. That's a good thing unless you want a long life.
This is very true, recently enough my therapist had me consider that I have already "arrived" multiple times, when I was fretting about not wanting to be where I felt I should be. I was ultimately diminishing everything I had done up until this point because my parameters for what I "wanted" had shifted onto something else. Endlessing moving the goal posts so that I would never have this idea of ultimate contentment that I was pursuing.
I say all this as if I've conquered these thoughts but they're still there. The difference is that you can also make room for some acknowledgement of your progress thus far and hopefully diminish the feelings of despair or self-deprecation that might otherwise discourage you or bring you down.
Well, I know many people who have arrived.
I think I have never arrived. And the way life is, I will probably never do it.
But hope still remains strong.
Your anxious longing state is also called social conditioning! Open your eyes to that and work to break free from it and you will find (not happiness) but lasting contentment..
50 yrs ago, my husband and I drove to Hanna, Maui after we were told we should definitely go there. Of course there was only one empty building there. It was all about the drive.
“You know why there is no happy ever after, because life always ends in death” Me An Edgy RUclipsr & Philosopher 2020
Edit: I guess sarcasm also stops existing after death so yes that truly would be a happy ever after.
And Death stands as sheer contradiction to Spirit; the one thing we spend time cultivating.
I'm glad people are starting to take the piss out of the people who just drop quotes in the comments and add nothing of their own personal thought to the discussion.
@@Professor_Utonium_ I totally agree bruh, I always try my best to make it self deprecating atleast.
Death is the happily ever after, only our fear of death is what gives death such a bad image. How can you be happy with a human body or mind, things that cause so much suffering to the human
As a Christian, I believe death is a door to eternal life with God. So, yes, I do believe there is a happily ever after. I see this life as a "womb" where we are prepared for the true life to come. My 2 cents.
There are some of us, who had already learnt in childhood that there is eventually no happily ever after.
It's amazing how in adult life, our past inner child already knew this.
In every narrative, happiness equals end. There is no such thing in life, however, because there's no such thing as permanent fulfilment. And it's fine. What else is there to unravel if we get to the finish line ahead of ourselves?
I can relate. I'm done and I don't wanna hang around for another 75 years, to do what exactly? I'm ready to leave.
You are here to give someone a reason to smile
I like The School of Life videos, but these titles are too depressing to start the day off with!
Still better than forced positivity
noodlery I'd rather be happy than sad
"Life us the process of replacing one anxiety and desire with another"
ah yes it's time to question our entire existence
No....don't question it. Just live and enjoy your existence.
Read The Stranger by Camus
@@Zdrfvhujm28 lol
Says who
@@Zdrfvhujm28 Why should I worship god, if he/she/it exists? When you create something, do you demand it to worship you, or do you worship your creation because you created it for a reason?
GOD IS DEAD as Nietzsche would say
@@Zdrfvhujm28 So there is a creator of the world, and its a dude? You worship this guy?
Is it a wizard?
People are not happy when things go well , they are happy when things go better..
*If everything is perfect, it would be boring* 🙏
truer words have never been spoken (typed?)
@@spennny1000 I honestly don't understand what you meant. Articulate it in a better way.
Yea fair enough so suffering is fun for you ?just kidding I know we have to feel hunger to chase goals and there is excitement in that I guess all the best for all of u.
The more we strive for happiness the more unhappy we become. The essence of the life and death drive is that opposites are essential for the existence and meaning of both. This translates to everything in life. Arguably the more dangerous (risky) life is the more we appreciate it. We tend to be more devoted to values ,love ,safety, boundaries. This is so innate to our nature that under the most secure circumstances we will hijack our lives to simulate insecurity and risk simply for the excitement it produces. Why we glorify violence and the virtues that overcome it.
I am very amazed how that video just arrive at the right moment.
I started having panic attacks few month ago, without any reason.
I didn't understood why, because I thought that for the first time in my life I had finally reached a place where I had everything I always dreamed of. And yet I was still not satisfied and found myself wanting for more ( the only thing was that for the first time I couldn't find that next big thing to reach up to / dream off ). Thank you for the valuable lesson
Thor - "The only thing permanent in life is impermanence "
Indeed it is true.
Its Socrates
It's Buddha...and before!
Reddit moment O:
A core tenet of Buddhism.
What a dumb meaningless quote.
this video explained something I discovered when I was a lot younger and thus knew that the only real peace was in death and so I tried to kill myself several times. I don't think it's wrong to want to do it BUT through that pain and the desire to feel at peace so desperately I found a perspective worth sharing. we all die, there is nothing that will stop it and up until that point things will be tough, things will be sad, things will be the most painful... BUT things will also be easy, things will be joyous, things will be the most pleasurable as well... live life for the experience of it, try things and do things, the worst that can happen is you die and that's going to happen anyway so why not try to enjoy yourself while you're here. for me it really took the pressure off and allowed me to just BE. I'll embrace death when it comes but for now, I want to enjoy the smell of fall, the warmth of the sun on a cold winters day, the taste of foods I can't take with me when I'm gone and the love I share with those around me. my life might not mean much in the end as many lives don't but this one is mine and I am glad in it.
Suicide survivor of 8 years. Going on strong 💪. Struggle from time to time of course. But I totally get you!!
In my early years I was haunted by a quest for answers to life and this is a mindset that resonated with me and made sense. One needn't fear death but instead embrace it. Death is no punishment but a relief. Death doesn't strip your actions of meaning but instead is ultimately what gives them meaning.
@@rickf6375 Love that. There's always going to be a reason to be sad in life. But there's no reason to just be happy, it doesn't cost anything. The act of smiling alone is so powerful in it of itself. Giving meaning to your life, being closer to who you are is whats it about.
“As kid’s we loved heroes, as teenager’s we understood them”
that just makes me think about life.
This struck me as one of the most life-applicable videos I've seen on this channel in some time, and that's saying something. Thank you. 😎☀
"happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it's too late." -Paul Dunn
It doesn't matter
Happiness is in the present moment of u can't be happy in the present how do you expect to be happy in the future?that right the is called delusional.
Incredible timing... My grandpa just passed away this morning. Almost 101. Married to the same woman for 80 years. They were attached by the hip. We were waiting but I didn't expect to be so upset. 😩
Thank you school of life for this videos which are like balm on troubled anxious souls.
One of the best video on self help. Thank you Alain.
This is exactly what I was trying to fledge out. Thank you very much for phrasing it so well.
To state the obvious, happiness is a mood not a permanent state. To increase the number of happy periods live a life that has meaning for you.
Whoever made this video never studied Buddhism. The whole point of the philosophy gies against the narrator's constant assertions that it is IMPOSSIBLE to ever be satisfied, that we will ALWAYS find new cravings. Yes, that is true of most people, the ones who lack self introspection but it is by no means impossible. I'm perfectly content with where I've ended up in life. I don't crave more. I have peace and happiness and I hope to stay in my situation until I die. Sure, sometimes new things come up that are cause for some concern (COVID, for example) but with some patience, clear thinking, and medicine I've done as much as I can reasonably do. The trick isn't to stop trying to be happy. The trick is to understand at a fundamental level that the universe is completely random and unpredictable, so spending too much energy doing anything more than common sense precautions is a waste.
When you get older, you crave to live more simply and freely. You don’t care about what other people think of you so much. If at all. I know I will be happy when I have the means and ability to leave a soul-killing marriage to a selfish and depressed man.
I left two soul-killing family members. My narcopath sister and father. I've never been more at peace.
Now, I can finally invest all my energy to myself and my goals and not waste it to trying to rationalize with bullies.
Thank you for this video, it's awesome
This video going on about "being at peace" like it's an illusion...brings a new, more existential meaning to the Super Soldier motto "Semper Bellum".
After watching your videos, my whole conception about life and relationships has changed drastically
As a huge critic of this channel, this video hits the nail on the head. TSoL really spits facts with this one, the older you get the more you'll become aware how right this video is.
"The only destination is the journey"... I just love the school of life
Oh man this is so true. You know what would make me happy? To wake up with peace of mind. My anxiety drives me to achieve something tangible everyday to justify my existence to myself. I never reach satisfaction.
Working in a hospital, I have seen that there is no guarantee or promise. Time will not necessarily fulfil you, it may only rob you. Age may not make you wiser or satisfied, it might only take away from you slowly. I have transported people to the morgue that are my age or younger, the only difference is my better fortune than theirs, which purely by chance.
So I work by casual contract. Meaning that if I have something better to do than go to work, I do it. This makes me poorer financially, but the dead have even less, only a grave.
I think to be "happier" in life we need to live for the happiness of others rather than ourselves.
Not saying that I'm particularly good at that, however.
Don't chase happiness because it's overly hedonistic on it's own and therefore unsustainable, unstable and expedient. It's not lasting and it's also overly open to interpretation because alot of things can be considered happy, both good and evil matters alike. Chase meaning instead because it gives you reason and strength to hang in there as you cilmb up the painful hill - whether or not happiness dawns on you in these moments (and if happiness does come to you, then that's a great bonus and some gratitude for positivity derived in enduring and solving problems is necessary in those moments as an armour to take under your belt). And there are lots of those testing moments in life, many of which will be confusing, depressing and stressful, not happy. Because it's a tragedy, not a happy phenomena. That way, by focusing on how to respond to problems rather than seek to feel happy by whatever means necessary, you find moral/ethical solutions in unhappy situations rather than fall apart with victimhood and blaming.
I gave her all my love, all my feelings, she sleeps in my bed, says she love's me... Now, she left me behind, killed the future I've seen with her
Losing love it's like mourning one's death, the person you cared so much and made you believe again, idealize a future that only has both of you as couple, forever, no doesn't exist, only a void remais, no future anymore! Only memories left behind, haunting and vivid
There is a whole realm of beauty beyond words.. notice it and be deeply in touch with it life is basically one moment enjoy your comfy pillow..😇😂
"The only destination is the journey"....that hit hard...
Probably a good idea to listen to this everyday. This is what I have been challenged with. I'm getting better every day
You humans define your reality through misery - Agent Smith
Damn i needed this, happiness isn't a destination.
This hurts like a hell. Thanks.
life is the endless search for that “next thing”
“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.” ~ Douglas Coupland 💕❤️
I think that we have a basic yearning for a state of neverending happiness because we once experienced it in the womb of our mothers. We cannot desire, strive or yearn for something that does not resonate within us. La condition humaine is based on that.
You are totally right.
Humans aren't condition to live happily ever after. Only those who find themselves or are ok with being alone and don't find the need to have all those other things.
Hey School of Life! I love your Calm book btw. Currently reading it and it's really insightful and reassuring at times.
Thank you I needed this at the moment as going through hustle bustle.
It's your mind that protects you from the unthinkable.
Is that good or bad?
If suicide is bad it's good.
There is no happy ever after, because otherwise we wouldn't grow as human beings every challenge brings a valuable lesson.
Nonsense i am happy after but life is still the same we eat, make babies,meditate and do whatever we like or work and sleep I'm fine with it but the thing is it means nothing is a big deal we will all die no matter whatever we do now that's deep but don't let it consume u k.
@@lifeisagameofknowingyourro6327 True.
"Life itself has no meaning, but is worth living" - Albert Camus
I think if people treat this channel as more of a dialogue, instead of something prescriptive, it can be okay. The comments responding and reshaping some of these perspectives are helpful. Alain is a unique mind who has a specific way of approaching these questions, heavily psychological, and not always sociological or political or anthropological, so its good to consider different avenues.
I don't know if this channel is just one person or not. But if it is I would like to find a friend like you. Wise, emotionally matured, appreciates art and someone I could have deep conversations with.
This may be the best advice I have received in a long time
Happiness is the successful state of life, pain is an agent of death. Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values. A morality that dares to tell you to find happiness in the renunciation of your happiness - to value the failure of your values - is an insolent negation of morality. A doctrine that gives you, as an ideal, the role of a sacrificial animal seeking slaughter on the altars of others, is giving you death as your standard. By the grace of reality and the nature of life, man - every man - is an end in himself, he exists for his own sake, and the achievement of his own happiness is his highest moral purpose.
But neither life nor happiness can be achieved by the pursuit of irrational whims. Just as man is free to attempt to survive in any random manner, but will perish unless he lives as his nature requires, so he is free to seek his happiness in any mindless fraud, but the torture of frustration is all he will find, unless he seeks the happiness proper to man. The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live. ~ Ayn Rand
The present moment is the paradise that we so longingly look for. The truth is that ups and downs, challenges and successes are all a part of life and you must live through what life presents you with in the present moment. So the solution? Be grounded in neutrality. Know that everything passes. Stop putting good moments on a pedestal and stop being discouraged by bad moments. Accept them for what they are: a part of life 🙏
Yes, live in the moment basically. Not always easy to do but takes a conscious effort and daily reminders.
@@wandac4021 absolutely true 🙏 and by constantly reminding ourselves, we make it more and more habitual to us!
@@TheLifeAcademySN totally. A couple of small things that help me is being grateful for everything I have and also not comparing myself to others.
@@wandac4021 both of which are life-changing habits if taken up properly! Keep them going 🙌
Thanks for hitting us with reality during quarantine Alain
"My glory and my doom walk hand in hand"
I so much appreciate the content ❤️
This video reminds me why I love this channel, thank you.
As a translational science graduate student in amidst of a pandemic, insane climate change, and intense (super important!) social tensions and upheavals: I really fucking needed this. I need to re-emphasize to myself that "the destination is the journey". No destination can ever truly satiate what I seek. Every time I've succeeded in something, or got something I wanted, etc., I just tend to look at the next goal post because of my ambition. We all die anyway. So I might as well really lean into appreciating and accepting the joys and sorrows of the journey.
I really appreciated though that you didn't make ambition the enemy, as I have trouble with mine. It's just reframing the mindset.
What a Video, It felt me with negativity 😭
That is because you dream of something that might never happen. it's a struggle, but we constantly try to tell ourselves to be more calm, by which, we create more anxiety and panic.
feels great
Our anxiety is homesickness for our true home, the paradise. The Prophets have taught this for centuries.