Do you want to join our community and become a channel member? Our films will always be here for free but we have now enabled channel membership where you can support the channel, get exclusive perks and have a say on what films we produce: ruclips.net/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBogjoin
@X X rigth same im a good person for 20 years all i get is abuse next 60 years of my life i promise to myself that i will never be a good person to anybody
Even if it's quarantine, don't mistreat yourself. Stay hydrated, try to normalize your sleeping schedule and do some basic exercises. There might not be a better time in our life to rediscover ourselves.
Agree. I'm alone in a flat, broken up with my wife after 10 years marriage (break up wasn't caused by isolation). At the beginning I was scared of loneliness. I realised it's perfect time to rethink everything. It's only me and my thoughts. I start every day with some yoga excersises, I do a lot of reading, play the guitar, try to work on my PhD and I have a lot of time to think about concept of life. Sorry for my lame english.
@@KingfisherLtd that's great to hear. Even if it can seem like a scary time, I've also realized we'll probably never have a time like this again, so we might as well use this opportunity to try out new things, exercise/meditate and practise more self-worth and compassion :)
@@KingfisherLtd I hope you're doing well with the new pattern interruptions. Made me think of the process of metamorphism - cocoon to butterfly. You have time, space and the attitude to evolve yourself! Keep it up brotha.
@@jeremytoon8106 Thanks. That's very accurate parallel with cocoon-butterfly metamorphism. We have married at a very young age. We were 22 years old kids without any adult life experience and shaped personalities. We have realised we are not on the same wavelength. Now I feel like I'm starting the process of being born again.
@@KingfisherLtd I'm sensitive to that after a 6 year relationship on my end. I complete loss of identity (initially) followed by a entirely new quest for self actualization. A difficult chapter of my life, but necessary for my evolution. Thoughtful song "Guaranteed" - Eddie Vedder.
6 Keys to Emotional maturity - 1. To motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustration. 2. To control impulses and delay gratification. 3. To regulate your mood and keep distress from swamping your ability to think clearly. 4. To empathize with others and feel hopeful 5. To positively influence the state of mind of other people 6. Make those around you to feel relaxed and calm. At best make them feel inspired and creative.
7. Forgive yourself when you have it hard or you fail to do any of the above. Understand you're not perfect and you don't need to be, trying is already a big achievement.
This helps a lot! Thanks! I just wanted to know what you meant by "delay gratification"? If you can put it into context, it would help me understand it better!
@@marinatebbenham4011 I know haha I commented that before they actually talked about the pandemic. I rly thought they were gonna breeze over current events but I was wrong
Fear Does Not Stop Death... It Stops Life. Yes we are going through tough times, and this time shall pass eventually, but I think the actual purpose of all these happenings is to reveal what we have been hiding under a facade of appearing nice and shiny on the outside. This is a crucial time to analyze ourselves, what we are actually made of. There's a saying that, "Circumstances don't make a man, they reveal him." Also, "You only get orange juice when you squeeze an orange". These times are testing the entire humanity, and we are only projecting what has been inside of us all along. Something to reflect upon.
Tough times all right, and for some of us, it was already tough enough. There are a few things to reflect upon over this way if you get time, certainly welcome to all. Great message friend.
@@ipage1 I agree... what you said does actually reflect a purpose to all this. May be the higher purpose of all this is nature trying to teach us that we have been destroying the balance and harmony for too long, that we have been too self-centric and abusing the resources around us, and that we need to change our ways immediately.
For someone with an anxiety disorder/ Pure OCD /intrusive thoughts...this is the most understanding video of my thought process that I have ever come across in my whole entire life. All of a sudden I feel much less alone x
This video reminds me of the exercise that my therapist taught me to use whenever I feel extreme anxiety and depression. She said that first, we need to pick up the real CIRCUMSTANCE, then we go with the FACTS. Then since our THOUGHTS create our FEELINGS , and Feelings create behaviors, we can manage these feelings by focusing more on the FACTS and evaluating our THOUGHTS about them. I believe this is more of CBT method. Sometimes it works, sometimes it would be harder to defeat the negative thoughts but hey, it teaches us to identify and really go through the process of introspecting why we react on things and if they’re valid.
Your comment is more practically helpful than this video, so thank you for that! The video told me that I COULD remain emotionally mature, but not quite HOW I could remain emotionally mature.
"Some of us belong to a social group politely called 'worriers' " Me: "WHOO, WARRIORS!... oh." I genuinely enjoy how subtlety you address the current situation :) Makes the message way more calming.
That made me feel very vulnerable. The second negative sentiment of “this happening because I deserve it, it’s punishment” is derply rooted in me, and I feel excatly like a little fearful child that I, again, must soothe. For anyone struggling: it’s mode therapy, and it works. I’ve struggled with extreme anxiety and panic episodes since last July, but I’m fine now in the middle of a pandemic!
Wisdom that would have helped me in my early 20's to love and accept myself. But this is thought provoking all the same in middle age. Reassuring too. I love the gentle humour.
"The plague is not a punishment for anything deserved. That would be to imagine that the universe was moral or had some sort of design to it. But Dr Rieux watches a young innocent child die in his hospital and knows better: suffering is entirely randomly distributed, it makes no sense, it is no ethical force, it is simply absurd." - From The school of Life's video: Albert Camus - The Plague
..And we presume to know the true nature of the Universe from our tiny little perspective on a speck of dust spinning amidst infinite stars, none of which we have ever visited save our own? Ha. This certainty is an illusion.
@@p.rabbitt4914 Suffering is inevitable as a consequnce of pain. The choise may be in holding on to suffering or trying to block it instead of going trough it and hoping to come out on the other end.
what if it does have a design to it.....that to me is a more plausible assumption....made valid by the very nature of discovery itself, for every question we answer and every problem we solve more pop up. Every discovery fills us with more problems and unanswered questions. And at the end we assume we die AND we assume we live. This is a question with no verifiable answer thus far...
As a catholic seeing the virgin mary when he mentioned the "parental voice" just filled me with warmth and love. Truly with Christianity I've defeated the fear of death with the help of christ ❤️✝️❤️
“If the only thing that people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world." - Sydney Banks or put another way “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” - William Shakespeare, Hamlet
This is one of the most compassionate "School of Life" vids I've seen yet, and the timing of its release could not be better. I've (so far) watched it twice to buoy myself in these strange times.
I can't believe we liven a time were we have information like this, people really go through their own lives with so much baggage and pain and they think that's how they were born, I'm blessed to be born in this time period. Thank you school of life
It is important for us to stay composed in these worrying times. Firstly we should be grateful that we have food and shelter because most people don’t. Secondly just take precautions and just work on yourself from home. Meditate and reflect on your life. Focus on yourself and just pray for the best. Most importantly, Help each other !
There is a wonderful psychologist in Turkey, who said something on an interview that really got to me: " All my life, I have been trying to protect people from themselves". Imagine that she said this, after listening to people's problems for over 50 years! SELF COMPASSION That's why, in my humble opinion, in order to have a good psychological immune system, what we all need the most to begin with, is self compassion. Most of us feel that there is something deeply wrong with us. The things that really helped me to deal with this are: 1. The book " Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach. Maria Popova, the founder of the wonderful Brain Pickings website, who must have read thousands of books in her life says that Tara Brach is the person who helped her the most and in fact she almost saved her life! You will certainly become more tender and feel less alone and anxious after reading this book. Tim Ferriss recommended it in several occasions too. ( He had Tara Brach on his podcast too. ) 2. Elisabeth Gilbert has this beautiful idea that is very wise and tender: She says that we all want to be good and kind in this world. And indeed we have a great opportunity at hand: since we have ourselves 24 hours available, the best way to really "practise" this sort of kindness is to start with ourselves! 3. Mindfulness meditation helps a lot too. If you think you aren't able to do it, just google this and try it once. The teacher Diana Winston is wonderful: " Weekly podcast at the Hammer, UCLA " FEELING CONNECTED This is really what matters the most. I love this quote by Esther Perel: "The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships". ( Esther Perel ) Well of course it is not always easy to feel heard and understood. It isn't something we can control, it depends on the other. But trying to become a good friend and a good listener is something that is totally in our hands. Besides, when there is no one available to listen to us or console us, we can always turn to literature, poetry, philosophy, music, movies and art. That's what they are for! By the way, there will also always be people we won't like. The problem is that the feelings of mistrust and hostility weaken our capacity to be resilient and more importantly: to love. So here is a good quote by the poet Longfellow, to keep in mind for those cases: "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility". OPTIMISM OF THE WILL One of my heroes, the conductor and pianist Daniel Barenboim was asked on an interview about how he saw the future. He cited Gramsci and talked about being "a pessimist of the intellect and optimist of the will." It is such a noble idea. This is how we can still be an idealist and be always motivated and inspired to make the world a better place, without falling into despair. It is huge part of emotional maturity too. Thank you for another wonderful lesson! I loved the animation too!
@@sebastianelytron8450 Do you mean I " plagiarise" from myself? Well, there are things that I find very valuable and I would be happy if as many people as possible could find out about these sources. If the desire to share is being " pathetic" I have absolutely no problem with that. Just skip my comments next time. And in these days where we are all surrounded by death , try to learn to be KIND if you can.
It is so good to have Alain's calm voice and wisdom in this videos weekly, specially in these difficult times. I love this channel, it really brings light to our lives.
*"The difference actually lies in the way each of us is able to interpret events* It's our choice how we want to face events, starting with our attitude/mindset. That is something basic, but that I tend to ignore so often. The School of Life is like that wonderful teacher/adult you've known or wish you'd known :)
I appreciated the part near the end that said even when it really is the end of the world some people will be handling it better than others, that image of having the choice on how to respond to the worst case scenario was very eye opening for me. Thank you as always!
:-D Charby can I steal your line to use when writing a fictional story of my own? Your sentence too reminded me of the time my last husband tried to start a fire in the wood cook stove of his cottage out at the lake with a beer can full of gasoline. By doing so he managed to not only set the wood in the cook stove on fire while his arm then was retracted with the can full of gasoline spilling out too onto the floor managed as well to set the whole cabin on fire too with the flames surrounding him cornered with no escape. He said in a calm voice, "Go save yourselves". I disobeyed my husband by remembering the last piece of wet carpet he had just thrown out the door onto the lawn the day before while it was raining and then storming out the door to grab it still sopping wet in order to beat out the flames and by doing so I stopped the fire so well we didn't need to call the local volunteer fire department in the nearest town. So I guess you could call me his first responder not called.
@@francesbernard2445 Please, be my guest, it is a reference to a joke I once saw, but I'm glad the wording was evocative enough to remind you of this event!
Covid-19 is pretty bad, compared to the flu, but it's nowhere close to threatening humanity as a whole. If anything, the biggest threat is leadership running society on margins, without buffer for crisis to pass without stressing every system.
@@haydentravis3348 Exactly - COVID wouldn't have been such a terrible thing if education on hygiene, infection etc. were better, and leadership were more prepared for crises outside of "shooting people who don't look/talk/pray like us". We're a society that is at such a level of knowledge that we had a vaccine for this thing researched in months. So society's failure to prepare was not down to lack of scientific knowledge, but lack of concern and imagination for anything other than generating profits on paper.
"We learn that the catastrophe we feared would happen has in fact safely already happened." - One of my favorite phrases ever, because for me it brings with it sweet tears of sadness and relief.
"It feels natural to turn whatever is negative and might have been entirely accidental into a verdict on us...we hear a voice in our heads that at once adds immeasurably to the misery..." Oh yeah that one hits close to home.
THANK YOU!!! I've been feeling SO alone surrounded by people FREAKING out on me for not being afraid and told that I am being reckless and not-sane for not taking part in the Feardemic.
That's called catastrophizing. It's one of the behaviours they work on in CBT. I think it's useful even in some truly eschatological scenario. As the stoics say, there is no bad thing in this world that we can't make worse by how we handle it.
@Hey GUY! I don't think it's always necessarily trolling, especially for English. English is hard and has a lot of exceptions, irregularities, homonyms, homophones, silent letters, strange expressions, etc, etc ... It's ok and even nice when people point out the subtleties of the language -- provided it's done politely, of course.
@peachykeen08 i agree, &for the most part if one hass conversation with another they'll bring up the latest even if you'd prefer conversation about something else
I will never understand how you are able to read my mind AND then soothe it with exactly what it needs to hear AT exactly the right time FROM across an ocean. --but I am supremely grateful.❤️
Wow! Thank you so much for this big lesson and cure for someone who came from a nuthouse with a narcissistic family. You found the right and compassionate words to lift a huge burden of my back. 🙏
I didn't realise this was new and towards the end I started thinking 'omg this really befits what we're going through at the moment' so I clicked on the comments to see how others might have noticed 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ and I realised that it's only hours old! May I say, it's perfect!
@@eduardochavacano I am fairly confident it relates to being on holidays in a " cabin" ( house , tent etc ) and there is an extended bad weather ( rain, thunderstorm, snow etc ) and you are looking out the window, at all the things you hoped you would be doing, but can't. You're stuck inside. Being away from familiar surroundings makes it worse and it happens quicker than if you were in your own home . As eve m said " cabin fever has slowly crept in a month into quarantine"
Christopher Maurer Thanks! I see. And I may have cabin fever then... But no...the term has yet to invented to describe what I go through. Good thing I at least have data.
School of Life, I would love if you could put subtitles in other languages, especially Arabic and German. This will broaden up your audience and I can finally send these videos to my parents so that they can understand.
English is the most spoken language in the world, they can' t make subtitles for every other language, go to your settings and change it to your language.
How beautiful. I am going through a long distance breakup right now, as well as I have lost my apartment due to not being able to work because of the pandemic. On top of that, having to stay inside all the time and trying to occupy myself is incredibly hard. At first, it seemed like everything I knew to be true only a month ago had dissolved into thin air, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Now I'm slowly working through the pain, finding my footing again. It's video's like these that help when it seems like theres nowhere to turn. But really, I myself have gotten me to where I am now.
I thought the same, and a question arose inside my mind: will you be a warrior or a worrier? Thinking on my aging diabetic dad who also suffers from hypertension, I've got to be the first
I just cried. Was feeling like that this morning. And I keep saying my life has always been like this. Everything has always been Bad. Thank you. I'm definitely joining this community. It's just sad because I have always had the most amazing parents💕💕💕
Safak Sahin our childhoods are our life’s foundation . I’ve been labeled an overprotective mother but I had my reasons , trauma which can happen to anyone . I believe today’s children are subjected to unnecessary trauma that is happening because of greed and corruption .
You are creating great resources for people. I remember learning from the school of life that an emotional meltdown is our chance to make a big or little change in our lives. To change the routine. Don't be afraid of it was an important message I learned from your videos. Emotional winters come and spring comes too.
I had to remain emotionally mature in a crisis, from childhood onwards. It does wear you out. But then, there was a lot of violence we were subjected to, from a father who drank, but excused his violence toward us. I am often the target of people's anger now. I struggle with regulating my emotions. When you grow up in that sort of chaos, you learn not to explode at others...even at the cost of your own sanity...which has happened a lot.. ie psychosis. So many are living in a state of permanent trauma response...this society does not really support human needs for safety very well. Thanks for reading. I hope it helps someone.
When the video was uploaded, covid was definitely a thing. I work in the travel industry - by the time this video was out, I was already planning my career exit strategy and final vacation for the year because we all could foresee the great undoing that would happen to our careers (and plans for travel) due to the virus obviously going out of hand. You can also tell this video was made in haste to be put out in time because the animation quality is so much lower than the other videos - but it worked and it perfectly captured the feeling in the moment. Actually take a look at the video, it really is about us! This video helped me see that I didn't have to relegate 2020 as just another in-between year I've been used to experiencing, but I could really make do with what I was handed and still grow despite how it initially felt. And come on, your defense mechanism is not digesting and ignoring all the helpful information you've been introduced to and scrolling down to the comments section to commiserate? Take a second look at the video.
It didn't wipe us all out. It haven't killed mor people than, say, obesity. Why does obesity not convey the same terror and axiety? If coca-cola caused vocid, no one would care.
Vagabundork Chaos Magick-User it’s a plandemic and msm war machine is one of the main factors in there global fear mongering and hysteria inflicted on humanity
Isn't that excatly part of emotional maturity?? I.e., that you can precisely define your own emotion(s), and, weigh on how sound they are?? E.g, we knock our knees as kids, we cry, because, "It hurts, it well never stop, nobody loves me, the world is against me, look there's blood hence I'm dying, and wtf is gravity meant to be for/why can't we all just fly like birds??". We knock our knees as adults, "Damn, I'm an idiot." So what is it? We're all gonna die?? Or, we'll have to deal with the virus responsibly, in order not to let everything that makes societies run go inoperarative, which will come with a bundle of different and/or individual inconveniencis, including some rigors that mostly can be managed though?? ...
Meditation and exercise of compassion is great BUT... PEOPLE! WE NEED TO LEARN TO THINK WITH OUR OWN HEADS AND STOP LETTING GOVERMENT AND WORLD ORGANISATIONS think for us!!! Thanks for the awesome Videos school of life 🙏💜👍
I got touched :O. I could see the progress of the last years in my inner world watching this video. It felt like a prize for the hard work I've done in destroying those inner demons that were clouding my mind. Today even with the craziness that is going on I feel so calm and grateful for the lessons learnt during the dark period. Today I can be the child and the soothing adult with no judgement. Thank you.
Since the quarantine began I felt like I have lost all of my coping mechanisms against depression and suicidal thoughts. I've fought these issues for five years, through psychotherapy and antidepressants, and I thought that I was healed. I survived suicide and self-harm and now I found myself asking: was it worth it? I survived but for what? This? Where is my future, the future I' ve worked so hard for. Since the quarantine began (more than one month ago) I had to be resilient once again, I had to believe in myself and in our strength as a global community. It's been difficult, intrusive thoughts are more aggressive than ever, but we've survived once, we will survive again. I hope you all are doing fine, keep faith in yourselves.
I hope you are doing well now. It was a trying time. One lesson I've learned from a modest concentration meditation practice is that I am emphatically NOT my thoughts and emotions. They arise and fade away. One can develop the skill of just watching them (as old friends) and letting them ''find their way out the door''. Best wishes!
This video said the perfect thing at the perfect time (April 2020.) Doubt this was a coincidence - it must have been produced in response to the crisis at hand. An act of heroism.
It's good that the length of this video is 11 minutes, not short like your usual 3 minute videos. medium lenth is important for more holistic overview. Thankyou The School of Life. I've learnt many things from you.
Emotional Maturity is knowing that we may not be able to control every situation or its outcome, but we can control our attitude towards it and how we choose to deal with it.
Two things if Alain is reading this. Number One, you are a genius. Number Two, please dedicate more energy/time in going deeper in your current topics and start on new topics. Those of us who have been following you and benefiting from you, need this. Thank you for every word you speak.
Do you want to join our community and become a channel member? Our films will always be here for free but we have now enabled channel membership where you can support the channel, get exclusive perks and have a say on what films we produce: ruclips.net/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBogjoin
Hi! Do you have podcast in Spotify?
It is the least we can do to say THANK YOU. For all of these years you have been giving us wisdom and serenity.
@@hendalessa6405 here to say exactly the same!
Cccvuc.
So the advice here is just calm down and pretend like someone is comforting you? What absolute garbage
"We can exist outside of our failures." So true.
*foolishness
No. Our failures folllow us everywhere.
Your wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility...
Amen 🙏
Word!
So true
Yes.
Damn rigth💪🏻
@X X rigth same im a good person for 20 years all i get is abuse next 60 years of my life i promise to myself that i will never be a good person to anybody
Even if it's quarantine, don't mistreat yourself. Stay hydrated, try to normalize your sleeping schedule and do some basic exercises. There might not be a better time in our life to rediscover ourselves.
Agree. I'm alone in a flat, broken up with my wife after 10 years marriage (break up wasn't caused by isolation). At the beginning I was scared of loneliness. I realised it's perfect time to rethink everything. It's only me and my thoughts. I start every day with some yoga excersises, I do a lot of reading, play the guitar, try to work on my PhD and I have a lot of time to think about concept of life. Sorry for my lame english.
@@KingfisherLtd that's great to hear. Even if it can seem like a scary time, I've also realized we'll probably never have a time like this again, so we might as well use this opportunity to try out new things, exercise/meditate and practise more self-worth and compassion :)
@@KingfisherLtd I hope you're doing well with the new pattern interruptions. Made me think of the process of metamorphism - cocoon to butterfly. You have time, space and the attitude to evolve yourself! Keep it up brotha.
@@jeremytoon8106 Thanks. That's very accurate parallel with cocoon-butterfly metamorphism. We have married at a very young age. We were 22 years old kids without any adult life experience and shaped personalities. We have realised we are not on the same wavelength. Now I feel like I'm starting the process of being born again.
@@KingfisherLtd I'm sensitive to that after a 6 year relationship on my end. I complete loss of identity (initially) followed by a entirely new quest for self actualization. A difficult chapter of my life, but necessary for my evolution.
Thoughtful song "Guaranteed" - Eddie Vedder.
6 Keys to Emotional maturity -
1. To motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustration.
2. To control impulses and delay gratification.
3. To regulate your mood and keep distress from swamping your ability to think clearly.
4. To empathize with others and feel hopeful
5. To positively influence the state of mind of other people
6. Make those around you to feel relaxed and calm. At best make them feel inspired and creative.
Authentic Self Guide is it OK if I copy your notes? Thanks dude lol
I'll try this,thank u
7. Forgive yourself when you have it hard or you fail to do any of the above. Understand you're not perfect and you don't need to be, trying is already a big achievement.
This helps a lot! Thanks! I just wanted to know what you meant by "delay gratification"? If you can put it into context, it would help me understand it better!
I tried so hard the keep to these keys... but the intensity of my depression caught up with me and I'm finding it hard to get out again...
" There isn't a disease that is going to ruin us. There is no looming financial crisis! The hotel door is harmless." The irony of this in 2020.
Literally came to comments for this
This video was posted in April...
@@evelyndill5688 But the disease was already circulating at that point
@@marinatebbenham4011 I know haha I commented that before they actually talked about the pandemic. I rly thought they were gonna breeze over current events but I was wrong
9:38 haha
Fear Does Not Stop Death... It Stops Life.
Yes we are going through tough times, and this time shall pass eventually, but I think the actual purpose of all these happenings is to reveal what we have been hiding under a facade of appearing nice and shiny on the outside. This is a crucial time to analyze ourselves, what we are actually made of.
There's a saying that, "Circumstances don't make a man, they reveal him."
Also, "You only get orange juice when you squeeze an orange". These times are testing the entire humanity, and we are only projecting what has been inside of us all along.
Something to reflect upon.
Yess
Tough times all right, and for some of us, it was already tough enough. There are a few things to reflect upon over this way if you get time, certainly welcome to all. Great message friend.
Great point well made. A lot of self assessment is being done. Sending warm wishes to you all.
@@ipage1 I agree... what you said does actually reflect a purpose to all this. May be the higher purpose of all this is nature trying to teach us that we have been destroying the balance and harmony for too long, that we have been too self-centric and abusing the resources around us, and that we need to change our ways immediately.
@@duchessofdark wishing you health and wellness as well friend. Stay healthy and safe :)
For someone with an anxiety disorder/ Pure OCD /intrusive thoughts...this is the most understanding video of my thought process that I have ever come across in my whole entire life. All of a sudden I feel much less alone x
Your videos should be broadcasted globally on the main national medias, everyday, on a perpetual basis.
“ Face catastrophe without catastrophizing ..” beautiful!
This video reminds me of the exercise that my therapist taught me to use whenever I feel extreme anxiety and depression. She said that first, we need to pick up the real CIRCUMSTANCE, then we go with the FACTS. Then since our THOUGHTS create our FEELINGS , and Feelings create behaviors, we can manage these feelings by focusing more on the FACTS and evaluating our THOUGHTS about them. I believe this is more of CBT method. Sometimes it works, sometimes it would be harder to defeat the negative thoughts but hey, it teaches us to identify and really go through the process of introspecting why we react on things and if they’re valid.
Thankyou for penning it down. I can hopefully start applying it in my life
Thank you for sharing this with us much appreciated.
This specific comment seems to be really helpful for me..
Thank you.
Exactly. Thank you for the nice explanation. I concur.
Your comment is more practically helpful than this video, so thank you for that!
The video told me that I COULD remain emotionally mature, but not quite HOW I could remain emotionally mature.
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
Absolutely
The best line!
How is pain not suffering? That's baked into the definition.
@@tree-stufferBecause pain can also mean growth. You need pain to teach you things, and keep you alive. How you respond to pain is the difference.
Suffering is optional? Tell that to people with medical problems
What a beautiful line “ some of us would be greeting catastrophe without catastrophizing things”
I've been reading your book "The School Of Life: An Emotional Education" and it is absolutely terrific during this isolation
Great name u got
"meeting catastrophe without catastrophizing" 🙏🏻
"Some of us belong to a social group politely called 'worriers' "
Me: "WHOO, WARRIORS!... oh."
I genuinely enjoy how subtlety you address the current situation :)
Makes the message way more calming.
I thought he said that too haha
Worriers......come out and PLAYEEEE.....
True. Though I feel like you hear what you see yourself as the most. And then you replay it and hear warriors.
I heard the same
That made me feel very vulnerable. The second negative sentiment of “this happening because I deserve it, it’s punishment” is derply rooted in me, and I feel excatly like a little fearful child that I, again, must soothe. For anyone struggling: it’s mode therapy, and it works. I’ve struggled with extreme anxiety and panic episodes since last July, but I’m fine now in the middle of a pandemic!
Wisdom that would have helped me in my early 20's to love and accept myself. But this is thought provoking all the same in middle age. Reassuring too. I love the gentle humour.
"There will be others greeting catastrophe without catastrophizing" Truly eye opening 😍
I think of it as a perfect time to reassess my life. In "normal" times I rarely if ever think about my life because I'm too busy living it.
Sebastian Elytron amen!
"The plague is not a punishment for anything deserved. That would be to imagine that the universe was moral or had some sort of design to it. But Dr Rieux watches a young innocent child die in his hospital and knows better: suffering is entirely randomly distributed, it makes no sense, it is no ethical force, it is simply absurd." - From The school of Life's video: Albert Camus - The Plague
😿🍀🗽🌈🌆
..And we presume to know the true nature of the Universe from our tiny little perspective on a speck of dust spinning amidst infinite stars, none of which we have ever visited save our own? Ha. This certainty is an illusion.
@@MegaJAK77 Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice.
@@p.rabbitt4914 Suffering is inevitable as a consequnce of pain. The choise may be in holding on to suffering or trying to block it instead of going trough it and hoping to come out on the other end.
what if it does have a design to it.....that to me is a more plausible assumption....made valid by the very nature of discovery itself, for every question we answer and every problem we solve more pop up. Every discovery fills us with more problems and unanswered questions. And at the end we assume we die AND we assume we live. This is a question with no verifiable answer thus far...
As a catholic seeing the virgin mary when he mentioned the "parental voice" just filled me with warmth and love. Truly with Christianity I've defeated the fear of death with the help of christ ❤️✝️❤️
As someone who just found out my mum, who’s an nhs worker, and my brother both started having the symptoms today, i really needed this❤️
All the best to you anarcho. May you be well.
I hope your mother and brother and also you are all well now.
“If the only thing that people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world." - Sydney Banks or put another way “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” - William Shakespeare, Hamlet
I cried softly a few times, peacefully, what a beautiful, well crafted and logical video. Thank you.
This is one of the most compassionate "School of Life" vids I've seen yet, and the timing of its release could not be better. I've (so far) watched it twice to buoy myself in these strange times.
I can't believe we liven a time were we have information like this, people really go through their own lives with so much baggage and pain and they think that's how they were born, I'm blessed to be born in this time period. Thank you school of life
Me: Going through an Existential Crisis
My Phone listening to everything I say: Got you bro
I do, in the form of muddled ramblings that I call "poetry, art and music." It's not artistically profound, but I say everything I feel.
'Going through an Existential Crisis' Do you mean life?
Coming from someone who works at Target, I loved the toilet paper throne
It is important for us to stay composed in these worrying times. Firstly we should be grateful that we have food and shelter because most people don’t. Secondly just take precautions and just work on yourself from home.
Meditate and reflect on your life. Focus on yourself and just pray for the best. Most importantly, Help each other !
What do you mean by "most people don't"? Most people do, according to statistics.
Thank you for your reassuring message.
There is a wonderful psychologist in Turkey, who said something on an interview that really got to me:
" All my life, I have been trying to protect people from themselves".
Imagine that she said this, after listening to people's problems for over 50 years!
SELF COMPASSION
That's why, in my humble opinion, in order to have a good psychological immune system, what we all need the most to begin with, is self compassion. Most of us feel that there is something deeply wrong with us. The things that really helped me to deal with this are:
1. The book " Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach. Maria Popova, the founder of the wonderful Brain Pickings website, who must have read thousands of books in her life says that Tara Brach is the person who helped her the most and in fact she almost saved her life! You will certainly become more tender and feel less alone and anxious after reading this book.
Tim Ferriss recommended it in several occasions too. ( He had Tara Brach on his podcast too. )
2. Elisabeth Gilbert has this beautiful idea that is very wise and tender:
She says that we all want to be good and kind in this world. And indeed we have a great opportunity at hand: since we have ourselves 24 hours available, the best way to really "practise" this sort of kindness is to start with ourselves!
3. Mindfulness meditation helps a lot too. If you think you aren't able to do it, just google this and try it once. The teacher Diana Winston is wonderful:
" Weekly podcast at the Hammer, UCLA "
FEELING CONNECTED
This is really what matters the most. I love this quote by Esther Perel:
"The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships". ( Esther Perel )
Well of course it is not always easy to feel heard and understood. It isn't something we can control, it depends on the other. But trying to become a good friend and a good listener is something that is totally in our hands.
Besides, when there is no one available to listen to us or console us, we can always turn to literature, poetry, philosophy, music, movies and art. That's what they are for!
By the way, there will also always be people we won't like. The problem is that the feelings of mistrust and hostility weaken our capacity to be resilient and more importantly: to love.
So here is a good quote by the poet Longfellow, to keep in mind for those cases:
"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility".
OPTIMISM OF THE WILL
One of my heroes, the conductor and pianist Daniel Barenboim was asked on an interview about how he saw the future. He cited Gramsci and talked about being "a pessimist of the intellect and optimist of the will." It is such a noble idea. This is how we can still be an idealist and be always motivated and inspired to make the world a better place, without falling into despair. It is huge part of emotional maturity too.
Thank you for another wonderful lesson! I loved the animation too!
Why do you plagiarise (copy and paste) all your comments? I'm being serious, it's pathetic.
@@sebastianelytron8450 Do you mean I " plagiarise" from myself? Well, there are things that I find very valuable and I would be happy if as many people as possible could find out about these sources. If the desire to share is being " pathetic" I have absolutely no problem with that. Just skip my comments next time. And in these days where we are all surrounded by death , try to learn to be KIND if you can.
@@sebastianelytron8450 do you even know what quoting is??
Good thinking. Like your spirit. You are a thinker.
@@bolivar1789 Did NOT mean to offend you. Just saying you might want to think of giving credit to the original writer of your comments.
It is so good to have Alain's calm voice and wisdom in this videos weekly, specially in these difficult times. I love this channel, it really brings light to our lives.
It hits differently when u swear.
I'm so glad the school of life has remained so logical over this time
*"The difference actually lies in the way each of us is able to interpret events*
It's our choice how we want to face events, starting with our attitude/mindset. That is something basic, but that I tend to ignore so often.
The School of Life is like that wonderful teacher/adult you've known or wish you'd known :)
I appreciated the part near the end that said even when it really is the end of the world some people will be handling it better than others, that image of having the choice on how to respond to the worst case scenario was very eye opening for me. Thank you as always!
9:15 "THIS IS FINE." Thought the dog to itself, as the inferno raged around it's placid demeanour.
Charby 4:25 Girl on right: Imma jemmy open this door raaargh!
Girl on left: Shit, I haven’t got a crow bar!
:-D Charby can I steal your line to use when writing a fictional story of my own? Your sentence too reminded me of the time my last husband tried to start a fire in the wood cook stove of his cottage out at the lake with a beer can full of gasoline. By doing so he managed to not only set the wood in the cook stove on fire while his arm then was retracted with the can full of gasoline spilling out too onto the floor managed as well to set the whole cabin on fire too with the flames surrounding him cornered with no escape. He said in a calm voice, "Go save yourselves". I disobeyed my husband by remembering the last piece of wet carpet he had just thrown out the door onto the lawn the day before while it was raining and then storming out the door to grab it still sopping wet in order to beat out the flames and by doing so I stopped the fire so well we didn't need to call the local volunteer fire department in the nearest town. So I guess you could call me his first responder not called.
@@francesbernard2445 Please, be my guest, it is a reference to a joke I once saw, but I'm glad the wording was evocative enough to remind you of this event!
"there isnt some disease that'll wipe us all out"
*looks at the date this video was uploaded*
Yeah, when covid was already a thing. And five months later, we haven't been wiped out.
That affirmation did not age well...
@@SarahJeanOnly it is actually
Covid-19 is pretty bad, compared to the flu, but it's nowhere close to threatening humanity as a whole. If anything, the biggest threat is leadership running society on margins, without buffer for crisis to pass without stressing every system.
@@haydentravis3348 Exactly - COVID wouldn't have been such a terrible thing if education on hygiene, infection etc. were better, and leadership were more prepared for crises outside of "shooting people who don't look/talk/pray like us". We're a society that is at such a level of knowledge that we had a vaccine for this thing researched in months. So society's failure to prepare was not down to lack of scientific knowledge, but lack of concern and imagination for anything other than generating profits on paper.
"We learn that the catastrophe we feared would happen has in fact safely already happened." - One of my favorite phrases ever, because for me it brings with it sweet tears of sadness and relief.
"It feels natural to turn whatever is negative and might have been entirely accidental into a verdict on us...we hear a voice in our heads that at once adds immeasurably to the misery..."
Oh yeah that one hits close to home.
THANK YOU!!! I've been feeling SO alone surrounded by people FREAKING out on me for not being afraid and told that I am being reckless and not-sane for not taking part in the Feardemic.
This video made a lot of sense.
I finally know why it is important to stay calm inside even if the outside world is chaotic
How to not loose your mind would be a better headline.
*How not to LOSE your mind is even better, since "loose" is the opposite of "tight".
That's called catastrophizing. It's one of the behaviours they work on in CBT. I think it's useful even in some truly eschatological scenario. As the stoics say, there is no bad thing in this world that we can't make worse by how we handle it.
@Hey GUY! It goes to the bathroom and produces a lot of shit
@Hey GUY! I don't think it's always necessarily trolling, especially for English. English is hard and has a lot of exceptions, irregularities, homonyms, homophones, silent letters, strange expressions, etc, etc ... It's ok and even nice when people point out the subtleties of the language -- provided it's done politely, of course.
Number 1 way is not spend every waking moment consuming content about the crisis, because it doesn't often help
@Colleen Kelly 😁
@peachykeen08 i agree, &for the most part if one hass conversation with another they'll bring up the latest even if you'd prefer conversation about something else
I know a number of people in life that need to see this.
I like how the character's hair is pink to mirror my impulsive hair dyeing while in isolation.
I agree i agree
Yup! I've been cutting my hair. It's getting pretty short!
Gabriella Travaline looks gorgeous from your profile pic!
For me, Alain de Botton's voice is the calming voice! Thank you so much, The School of Life! An absolutely beneficial and amazing channel you are!
- Don't forget to exercise and eat healthy, a strong immune system is the best bet
i tried exercising and eating at the same time and managed to break my legs. thanks internet stranger!
@@kombinatsiya6000 🤣🤣😂
Helpful
Also get enough sleep and do meditation regularly and spend time with friends. They all contribute to your well-being.
I will never understand how you are able to read my mind AND then soothe it with exactly what it needs to hear AT exactly the right time FROM across an ocean. --but I am supremely grateful.❤️
Wow! Thank you so much for this big lesson and cure for someone who came from a nuthouse with a narcissistic family. You found the right and compassionate words to lift a huge burden of my back. 🙏
I use these films as often as I can in my classroom.
I love Alain's perspectives. Always helping me see situations through different eyes... I am grateful...
I always get something valuable from SOL videos. Thanks to all who contribute. I'm very grateful. 💐
All I can say is just, "wow!" a video that will stand the test of time and something we must all come back to every once in a while!
I didn't realise this was new and towards the end I started thinking 'omg this really befits what we're going through at the moment' so I clicked on the comments to see how others might have noticed 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ and I realised that it's only hours old! May I say, it's perfect!
okay, I am beautiful. No matter bad the fire gets. I’m just glad I’m beautiful. the video made me say that!
Just what i needed as cabin fever has slowly crept in a month into quarantine. Thank you SOL ♥️
Wigga u gut d coruna?
what is cabin fever?
@@eduardochavacano I am fairly confident it relates to being on holidays in a " cabin" ( house , tent etc ) and there is an extended bad weather ( rain, thunderstorm, snow etc ) and you are looking out the window, at all the things you hoped you would be doing, but can't. You're stuck inside. Being away from familiar surroundings makes it worse and it happens quicker than if you were in your own home . As eve m said " cabin fever has slowly crept in a month into quarantine"
Christopher Maurer Thanks! I see. And I may have cabin fever then... But no...the term has yet to invented to describe what I go through. Good thing I at least have data.
@Reggie Cyde Jack Nicholson . Yes, I got the reference as soon as I saw your first comment . I haven't seen the movie but I've seen that clip heaps.
School of Life, I would love if you could put subtitles in other languages, especially Arabic and German. This will broaden up your audience and I can finally send these videos to my parents so that they can understand.
and Polish! pretty please
spanish please. Muchas gracias
English is the most spoken language in the world, they can' t make subtitles for every other language, go to your settings and change it to your language.
How beautiful. I am going through a long distance breakup right now, as well as I have lost my apartment due to not being able to work because of the pandemic. On top of that, having to stay inside all the time and trying to occupy myself is incredibly hard. At first, it seemed like everything I knew to be true only a month ago had dissolved into thin air, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Now I'm slowly working through the pain, finding my footing again. It's video's like these that help when it seems like theres nowhere to turn. But really, I myself have gotten me to where I am now.
The Calm App
"Most of us belong to a social group called WARRIORS!"
"YEAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!"
I thought the same, and a question arose inside my mind: will you be a warrior or a worrier? Thinking on my aging diabetic dad who also suffers from hypertension, I've got to be the first
"Home of the Great Worrier Susano" is one of my favorite jokes in Okami
I heard it the same way the first time. Staying awake this time thru.
I heard "warriors" the first time too even though I knew he meant "worriers".
Anyways, happy mistake 😁
Im pretty sure he meant “WORRIERS”
I just cried. Was feeling like that this morning. And I keep saying my life has always been like this. Everything has always been
Bad. Thank you. I'm definitely joining this community. It's just sad because I have always had the most amazing parents💕💕💕
i had no idea how enormous of an effect our childhood has on our quality of life in adulthood. woww. thank you for the enlightening
Safak Sahin Really? If you have children don’t forget that then 🙏
Safak Sahin our childhoods are our life’s foundation . I’ve been labeled an overprotective mother but I had my reasons , trauma which can happen to anyone . I believe today’s children are subjected to unnecessary trauma that is happening because of greed and corruption .
You are creating great resources for people. I remember learning from the school of life that an emotional meltdown is our chance to make a big or little change in our lives. To change the routine. Don't be afraid of it was an important message I learned from your videos. Emotional winters come and spring comes too.
Always a pleasure to take the time to find our inner calmness.
I had to remain emotionally mature in a crisis, from childhood onwards. It does wear you out. But then, there was a lot of violence we were subjected to, from a father who drank, but excused his violence toward us. I am often the target of people's anger now. I struggle with regulating my emotions. When you grow up in that sort of chaos, you learn not to explode at others...even at the cost of your own sanity...which has happened a lot.. ie psychosis. So many are living in a state of permanent trauma response...this society does not really support human needs for safety very well. Thanks for reading. I hope it helps someone.
❤
I particularly like the artstyle in this video, very sympathetic and expressive characters!
For me, TSOL is that soothing voice I’ve been deprived from for so long
Thank you! Needed to hear this today in the midst of all the chaos! Be well....
it is just unbelievable how you are able to put such complex idea in so little time. your speech always amazes me thanks.
I listened to it 5 times back to back... I don’t want it to end... I want it to keep talking to me...
*"Not even death has to be a disaster."* Can't say how true that is.
This video has arrived just at the right time of my life. Thank you.
You have power over yourself and your energies not outside events realise this and you will find strength. 💯🤞
"There isn't a disease that's about to wipe us all out"
Covid-19:Please allow me to introduce myself
When the video was uploaded, covid was definitely a thing. I work in the travel industry - by the time this video was out, I was already planning my career exit strategy and final vacation for the year because we all could foresee the great undoing that would happen to our careers (and plans for travel) due to the virus obviously going out of hand. You can also tell this video was made in haste to be put out in time because the animation quality is so much lower than the other videos - but it worked and it perfectly captured the feeling in the moment. Actually take a look at the video, it really is about us! This video helped me see that I didn't have to relegate 2020 as just another in-between year I've been used to experiencing, but I could really make do with what I was handed and still grow despite how it initially felt.
And come on, your defense mechanism is not digesting and ignoring all the helpful information you've been introduced to and scrolling down to the comments section to commiserate? Take a second look at the video.
Weird to think it'll kill everyone. People have already survived
It didn't wipe us all out. It haven't killed mor people than, say, obesity. Why does obesity not convey the same terror and axiety? If coca-cola caused vocid, no one would care.
Vagabundork Chaos Magick-User it’s a plandemic and msm war machine is one of the main factors in there global fear mongering and hysteria inflicted on humanity
Isn't that excatly part of emotional maturity?? I.e., that you can precisely define your own emotion(s), and, weigh on how sound they are?? E.g, we knock our knees as kids, we cry, because, "It hurts, it well never stop, nobody loves me, the world is against me, look there's blood hence I'm dying, and wtf is gravity meant to be for/why can't we all just fly like birds??". We knock our knees as adults, "Damn, I'm an idiot." So what is it? We're all gonna die?? Or, we'll have to deal with the virus responsibly, in order not to let everything that makes societies run go inoperarative, which will come with a bundle of different and/or individual inconveniencis, including some rigors that mostly can be managed though?? ...
Thank you. Your friends must be delighted. They are so lucky.
Honestly, didnt even listen, only used his voice to calm me down. 👌
After a long shift I needed to hear this powerful voice of wisdom. Thank you
What kind of person are you going to be when this is over?
My inner work
Love to all from Madrid
Going to watch this everyday. Thank you.
Meditation and exercise of compassion is great BUT... PEOPLE! WE NEED TO LEARN TO THINK WITH OUR OWN HEADS AND STOP LETTING GOVERMENT AND WORLD ORGANISATIONS think for us!!! Thanks for the awesome Videos school of life 🙏💜👍
I got touched :O. I could see the progress of the last years in my inner world watching this video. It felt like a prize for the hard work I've done in destroying those inner demons that were clouding my mind. Today even with the craziness that is going on I feel so calm and grateful for the lessons learnt during the dark period. Today I can be the child and the soothing adult with no judgement. Thank you.
Just as I am trying to choose my favourite SoL video, you upload this masterpiece. Thank you!
Since the quarantine began I felt like I have lost all of my coping mechanisms against depression and suicidal thoughts. I've fought these issues for five years, through psychotherapy and antidepressants, and I thought that I was healed. I survived suicide and self-harm and now I found myself asking: was it worth it? I survived but for what? This? Where is my future, the future I' ve worked so hard for.
Since the quarantine began (more than one month ago) I had to be resilient once again, I had to believe in myself and in our strength as a global community. It's been difficult, intrusive thoughts are more aggressive than ever, but we've survived once, we will survive again. I hope you all are doing fine, keep faith in yourselves.
I hope you are doing well now. It was a trying time. One lesson I've learned from a modest concentration meditation practice is that I am emphatically NOT my thoughts and emotions. They arise and fade away. One can develop the skill of just watching them (as old friends) and letting them ''find their way out the door''. Best wishes!
Wow. That was a lot to take in. Thank you for making this. Hope you are all safe and well. xx
Just Wow!!! So profound and something that I plan to come back to frequently...it just brings back my state of calm!! ❤️
"Don't Panic!" (from a a well-titled book)
The full depth and timed allowed for this video is outstanding. Thank you Alain de Botton and School of Life.
Crisis forces commonality of purpose on one another
This video said the perfect thing at the perfect time (April 2020.) Doubt this was a coincidence - it must have been produced in response to the crisis at hand.
An act of heroism.
Always love your videos. Without fail, they give me a sense of calm.
this one’s so important
hi ive been going through health issues that that have been scaring me and causing me so much stress and this helps so much
One day at a time, and its OKAY TO ask for help.
Thank you for my weekly therapy seassion... Really thank you... It's hard to find a good therapist...
Name one school of life video that doesn't mention the word "childhood"
I appreciate the channel tho!
It's good that the length of this video is 11 minutes, not short like your usual 3 minute videos. medium lenth is important for more holistic overview.
Thankyou The School of Life. I've learnt many things from you.
Thank you! This, in some aspects, has been the most soothing message yet! It was a joy and pain, but of a good kind, to listen to! :)
How a Stoic perspective is so wonderfully therapeutucal. Great clip!
Emotional Maturity is knowing that we may not be able to control every situation or its outcome, but we can control our attitude towards it and how we choose to deal with it.
Online Life Guide - Deep Personal Development love what you wrote , concise and clear .
@@annfeeney1662 Thank you! Stay safe and stay blessed :))
Two things if Alain is reading this.
Number One, you are a genius.
Number Two, please dedicate more energy/time in going deeper in your current topics and start on new topics. Those of us who have been following you and benefiting from you, need this.
Thank you for every word you speak.
Keep Calm Everyone!