I remember being homeless at 17, having finally been old enough to leave my abusive home but still working my job at the coffee house. No one knew I was homeless except the cops that harassed me, ticketing me over and over for sleeping in my car, eating up my paychecks with fines until I couldn't pay anymore, at which point they put you on probation and draw out even more fines. Zero criminal record, drug-free, holding down a job, and just trying to make ends meet... It didn't matter. I was trash to be chased down by the cops. There was no help for young men. Only women's shelters. Only women's assistance. Only women's free college, etc. Your pride and sense of masculinity keeps you waiting to ask for help until you're so hungry, you can feel it up your stomach and in your throat. Then you finally seek assistance and everyone looks at you in disgust because hey, you're a man in the patriarchy right? How dare you ask for help! Then you stew in your emotions, having traded what little bit of self-respect you have left for nothing more than a horrifying reinforcement of what you already feared; you're worthless not just to the people in your life but to society as a whole. It wasn't until my probation officer came to arrest me for not showing up and found me half dead in a hospital bed with blood clots and walking pneumonia from sleeping in my car that someone took pity on me and got me out of the never ending spiral of fines for just trying to live my life. Even then, that was only after the officer tried to drag me out of bed and caused a scene with the doctors and nurses. Again, I had zero criminal record (beyond tickets for being homeless), was drug-free, and was working full time. I wasn't a leech or a danger. I was a young man on his own trying to get by and that seemed to be unacceptable for whatever reason. Thank god I made it out. A lot of young men never do.
Im so sorry to hear that. I feel like the dialogue for men's importance in society has been diminished in the last 15 years and it is very heartbreaking. We must respect ALL people and leave no one behind.
Sadly, it is the CONservative, 'evangelical' white males that have set up this harassment of the less fortunate, with the backing of their women😢 I still think the power struggle against each other is the wealthy playing us😱
@@BucketExperience Come to think of it I've never had a guy mention that he wants to be a psychologist or be in that field. Maybe men feel like that career path for them would be too hard to get into? I'm not sure but it would greatly help the mental illness crisis if we had more male therapists.
I believe the reason I am very passionate as a woman to talk about prejudices and literal discrimination against men comes from the fact that in between my father and my mother, it was my father that remained patient with me, encouraged me into education, taught me job experience, and gave me life advice. My father, the man that reflected how men are to me as a whole, was very kind and calm. However, because my mother had mental issues and consistenly sparked and screamed at any inconvenience, especially an inconvenience that my poor father made, it was also most easiest for me to connect with my father out of fear of my mother. I have seen my mother verbally attack my father and degrade him, and he takes it with silence and submission. It was my mother that eventually left for a long while, not my father, even though it was he who was being wronged here. He kept strong for our family, and made me smile, and taught me everything important I need to know. I do love my mother, but I wish she had gotten therapy, because no man should have to be told to "shut up and listen to the wife" because "she had all your children, goes though periods, menopause, etc." I think women are always given an excuse to abuse their husbands because of just that. I see so many videos where women are constantly reprimanding their poor misunderstood husbands online, and people just willy nilly go at these men without knowing the actual situation. I have seen the actual situation, and a lot of these women that publically shame their husbands are not talking about the whole story that goes on. People ignore the fact that women abuse their husbands because society thinks they apparently have the right to. You give birth to three kids, have a period every month, and go through menopause, and suddenly it's completely normal to abuse your husband because all that lovely womanly things messes with your hormones and, oh, you had it hard, so you can scream and hit all you want. It's your husband that has to understand. Hell no. Your husband is still human, and he can't always be expected to keep up with a wife that is constantly screaming at him. You don't get an excuse to degrade your husband because you're "on your period" or something like that. Guess what? I'm a woman, too, and I get periods and I get hormonal, but I never use that as an excuse to harm someone, I'll never harm someone in general. If I feel like I need to harm someone, I'd seek help, because that becomes a mental issue at this point. We should encourage women to go to therapy for these issues instead of telling the men to "get over it" and be treated as a punching bag. In that case, maybe my mother wouldn't automatically assume it was right to hurt my father like this and would actually go to her doctor for once. It's my fear that I would be like her, and I have started to protect my father now that I'm older. Therefore, seeing the implications of wrongful doings to men in my own home, I think it hits hard personally to see other men being left completely unjustifed. It makes me incredibly indignant because I have already seen it with my father, and I know what it looks like behind the scenes between a relationship between an abusive woman and a man, and the bias that goes towards the women.
I'm a male myself and I've been drowned into radical feminists ideas. I know it's not true but it already stuck to my head to the point that I feel guilty of my own gender, probably because I always see that men are often the cause of a problem or a crime. It felt like it keeps on constantly telling me how men are the troublemakers, the criminals, the abusers. And it somehow made me feel worse as a man myself. But your story sparked something in my head. Idk if I'm that put away and under-the-rock but I don't even know wife abuser exist lol. It changed and challenged my gender insecurity because the media keeps telling me how my gender is source of the mess this world has created. But it's not always the case, right? At the end I just want to say thank you. For showing something that's not widely known or even be hooked up by the media. Thanks for enlightening me. I need to start working on getting rid of this destructive thinking lmao.
@@MawCookiesyeah man, don't trust the media to tell you the truth, in any way. They are all biased and use the statistics however they want to show whatever narrative they see fit. And what you mentioned has already long turned into a political thing as well. I am sorry for what both of you have been through, you and the original poster. Hopefully you'll have better experiences now. Do not degrade yourself because you are not inherently bad. You are who you choose to be.
Thanks for opening up and sharing your story 🙏🏼 It takes a lot of maturity to understand how the opposite gender feels about these topics. Your words are an inspiration for other women and for men to listen to how women feel.
Indeed what you say is very true but is never spoken about as it does not fit the feminist agenda that has been wreaking havoc in so many ways for so long i was a union boss for the binmen of Birmingham city council due to the deluded resentful ideology of feminist doctrines hard-working men had to suffer huge financial losses and detrimental changes to their working conditions which were deemed sexist practices and due to the huge financial cost in settling claims and huge payouts to most;y women Birmingham city council is now bankrupt and all this was caused by resentful feminist claiming that binmen were operating a sexist service absolute nonsense but such is the power and influence of feminist in government that men have been so unjustly demonized so unfairly and this is a relentless attack on men and it is now in full throttle, especially with so many feminists in the new labor government that are bringing in new laws to attack men with bogus trivial nonsense and they never want to talk about the toxic destructive behavior and the violence that women commit on their own children and i can cite some horrific crimes Louis Porton Theresa May Mona Nelson and i can cite many others yet never a word about the danger of women pose to their own children and others and yes women have gotten away with murder based on hormonal excuses and have them dropped to far lesser charges and women forget that how many untold men have sacrificed themselves on sinking ships so their women can live how feminist would want to practice that sexist policy any how it is refreshing to have a woman like yourself to see the other side of women that is never spoken about!
One major issue with men in teaching professions, particularly around young children is the stigma around it. As a man, you can't get too friendly around children or you risk being branded a pedophile. I've seen this with my mother. We had a very nice old guy who loved children who worked at the cross walk. One day he saw that my sister's backpack was all beaten up and falling apart so he offered to help get her a new one. My mom immediately assumed ill intentions and called the school to get him fired. Imagine if we replaced that nice old man with a nice old lady. My mother, and most other parents would be singing her priases about how she went above and beyond with a single act of kindness. It's sad really. Personally, I go out of my way to avoid children. I refuse to work in any job that puts me around children, because once you have that label on you, you're screwed. I reckon it's the same for other men as well.
Exactly! There is a double standard now thanks to all the real pedophiles that are out there. The truth is that adult women are capable of being pedophiles as well. It’s just sad all around.
Our history and still our present explains why men are viewed in such light! So many kids especially GIRLS AND WOMEN are sexulize,abused and harassed in schools and educational institutions by MEN! It stays true till date.
As a "younger" male person who graduated high school relatively recently, I can't tell you how much I appreciated my male teachers (shop teachers, and one english teacher). They taught me a lot about being a man by just acting as a role model around the classroom and showing how to properly deal with stressful situations and what not.
Happy for you! I'm in a similar position. For me, having a strong group of supportive male and female friends since high school kind of helped me to empathise with all sides and become less awkward/critical of girls than a lot of my male friends.
Yeah I graduated back in 2008 and I still remember the male teachers infinitely more than I remember the female teachers. The ones that I had in high school ranged the gamut from absolute geniuses to current felons, but all of them were insanely interesting. The female teachers I've had through my entire educational career barely understood the information they were teaching and many of them understood the material so poorly that it was actually being taught incorrectly. There was no male teacher that I had that didn't understand the material so deeply that they could and would often go above and beyond to teach extra information to expand the context so that their students actually and truly understood the material as well instead of teaching to the test. I had a particularly bad set of female professors in college one of which forced all of the males with the exception of me and one other guy out of her class through her completely disrespectful way of speaking to us; by the end of the semester I was the only one showing up to the class the other guy just turned in the work. The other massive failure of a female teacher that I had did not understand foundations level gestault principle and when I questioned (having already gotten an AAS in graphic design at this point) the specifics of one of her teachings of one of the principles she proceeded to kick me out of class, demand that I go see the dean of the art school, and made the remainder of my semester very difficult. When I did actually meet the dean of the fine arts school he told me that yes I was correct but I needed to learn the material the way she was teaching it, the wrong way. It's a nightmare right now. I really need to go back to school and get a degree in psych, but the probability of having to deal with female professors makes the prospect impossible to make a reality in my mind.
I'm a woman and I had a huge appreciation for my male teachers. Luckily at my school there was a pretty good balance. I think they were important to me cause I only had one man in my nuclear family (dad) and we had a strained relationship Plus I just liked seeing a perspective and attitude different from my own
I'm a male teacher, in middle school. At the start of my career I interviewed for 12-15 elementary school positions, and was rejected by every single one of them. I earnestly tried to teach elementary, but I just couldn't get in. I was just starting out, so one could argue that my inexperience cost me. But once I started interviewing for middle school positions, multiple schools promptly offered me a spot. I truly do believe my being male played a role in this.
really? i thought that elementary school teachers are supposed to be basically teaching basics in all subjects, while starting from middle school (year 5), we get all kinds of teachers - one teacher for each subject. that might have played a role (a certain specialization or a lack there of, that is). at least in my country, your gender would not matter. idk how it's done in america tho.
I think so too- at my elementary school there were NO male teachers whatsoever. As a child I thought it was a job only woman were allowed to have or something- I think the reason is that (this was proven in many studies) in general people tend to see men as more qualified for leading positions and woman as more caring (tho this effect can technically be reversed for example a men dressing more feminine by society standards will usually be assumed more caring then a woman dressing more masculine by society standards. So its not only the actual gender, its also clothes and some parts of looks like hairstyle and stuff)
I didn’t have a male teacher until 8th grade. 1966. Men taught at university, and science subjects in high school. Women had elementary grades, and “soft courses” in high school.
It is scary and unfortunate that MRM doesn't receive as much positive attention as feminism. The entire fem movement and its 4th wave must be diminished greatly to establish egalitarianism.
@csherman47 That’s not what he said. Maybe if your movement included reading comprehension you would have understood that. He said the movement and its quest for superiority masquerading as “equality” needs to be diminished.
@ that is exactly what he said. “The fem movement must be dimininished. . .” Check your own comprehension skills. Women and men can exist together if both are equal and accept each other as such.
As a young black man I am glad to see this topic being discussed in this way. I lost my little brother to suicide about 5 years ago and one thing that was evident is that he felt strangled by the pressures of society at just 16. More discussions need to be had about what it means to be a man in this time. It is tough trying to be an upstanding man when the level of expectation is unrealistic and does not match the reality of roles and responsibilities being played out in society. It is also tough to prosper as a man when major industries that promote sedentary behavior (gaming and television) and illegal drugs are exploiting media outlets to numb men into a malaise. I don’t have the answers, but the fact that this dialogue is beginning is a good sign.
Male preschool teacher here- I’m so thankful for the information and tact presented here. It’s a touchy subject because humans tend to choose “one side or the other” and thus miss out on important truths such as those gathered in research for this segment. I have that much more pride in doing what I do after watching- thank you
Agreed. I teach middle school. As a female, there is only so much I can do to provide an example and compassion for those boys. I wish we had more good male teachers! Thank you so much for your work.
Humans don't tend to choose one side or the other, it's the media dividing people so they get more clicks. On the other hand, the rich know this and they cooperate a lot, they don't choose one side, they try to choose every side.
It's refreshing to hear someone intelligent speak on male issues without discarding the inequality faced by women. I want an equal society for everyone.
As a former male teacher, do NOT go into that field. Any interaction you make, you’re accused of being a predator. Further, you’re always expected to break up any fights, but you also can’t discipline your students or you’re being unfair. Please do yourself a favor and stay away.
I used to do work at a after school program in college, working with 4 and 5 year olds. Every year, EVERY YEAR, there would be at least 1 mother who would make a fuss about their child being under my supervision or in my group just because I was a man. In one woman's words "I was a predator waiting to happen". I had an interest in being a teacher before, not anymore after those years of experience.
I would agree. In Canada (in my experience), it also seemed to be fine. Male and female teachers were both beloved unless they were just heavily strict, but even then they weren’t hated or accused or anything.
@@nephyryx5618 My original comment seems to be gone. But I am in Canada, and I worked an after school program as a guy. I was accused every season by some new mom thinking I was gonna do something. It's not a good field for men.
“It’s often seen as ‘who’s side are you on,’ instead of being on the side of human flourishing” It’s so refreshing to see this issue given its own space to be discussed, instead of being weaponized as a bad faith rebuttal against women’s issues. Society need to talk about this, and we need to do it in solidarity with women and feminism, as opposed to in contrast to it
Modern feminism is not on the side of women. It pushes women into the workforce and significantly downplays the importance and life satisfaction most women have from motherhood.
@@remirussin7240 Not really. From school it is being expected that they have to join the workforce and they are being completely under-equipped for motherhood. There is a reality that most (not all) women derive life satisfaction from motherhood not career. Yet society is trying to get them into the workforce. It's damaging not just for the women, but society also. Since career only satisfys women for a short time, then when the motherhood clock chimes and they realise the emptiness in career over children. Leads to resentful women that are not focused on their job as a man would be.
@@benb3500 same thing can be said about men. In reality, parenthood for both men and women is one of the most life fulfilling experiences. You’ll get those exceptions in both genders. People in the west seem to be more concerned with hedonism rather than long term relationships and making sacrifices for loved ones.
@@Banana-eb8qr Absolutely. Look how we structure and promote hedonism into society. 18th birthdays more often than not are expected to be a drunken boozefest. Bachalor parties before the wedding likewise. Its almost getting to the point where marriages that last are in the minority. There is no pressure on men to stay married, used to be heavy stigmas attached to deadbeat dads. Womens expectations of men are also unreal, and visa versa.
I cannot understate how much I appreciate complex controversial topics being spoken about in such an intelligent and respectful manner. Edit to Add: I realize there’s a grammatical error or two in this post. And I don’t care. I think most folks know what I meant. I’m human. So are you. I will not edit this mistake.
He's speaking of women being in education as if it was actually a good thing. Women are the ones that want to coddle and infantilize everybody into the infants they never had. They are the ones promoting all of this 9 year olds getting "gender affirmation" surgery, feminist indoctrination, and so on. The Zoomers never had a chance, and that was because they were raised by single mothers and "educated" by women.
I don't appreciate so much being left out of the analysis. The biggest driver of any inequality in the US, whether it be a gender gap or otherwise is the sociopathic greed of the 1% neoliberal policies of redistribution of resources from the masses to their control for profit. No one from the Brookings Institute will focus on that part of the equation, that's for damn sure.
My Dad is a retired teacher. He is medically retired now (60 yo). Every student liked him a lot. As an plastic art/drawing teacher he got to teach 6 to 14 year old boys and girls. He was so successful that everywhere I go in the town with him, every student comes to greet him with a big smile. He's never had a problem with a student (and I was his student for a year, and was on the same school for 9 years). The statues of the school, the agricultural projects such as tree planting and harvesting, the wood works, recyclable material works, drawing etc. ended when he got terribly sick. When he got weak from cancer, instead of having support, the jealousy of his women colleagues made his life very hard at work. With critics about him not following the government program and other crap. The doctors said he had to retire. After he did all these activities ended. No more clay works, wood works, recyclable works, the schools trees withered and it was a mess so bad that the school contacted him to come back. He did not. With a mental degenerative disease he is now living off agriculture with us. All in all, men teachers can offer boys some skills they might need growing up.
From my experience, the majority of male teachers have always been appreciated by the students, boys and girls. Some of the best teachers that I had were men. Men can be so good in taking care of others not as bread brigners, but in the kitchen (my brother cooks so well!) My brother in law is sewing dresses for his 2 daughters and he is very good at it. Men have a different approach and it completes the picture. The best psychologists that I've been dealing with were men, much less judgemental... even the gynecologist I had for my 2 pregnancies was a man... some women were much more rude in the exams... we need men in our environment to act like humans and are able to maintain a professional approach. (Sadly, there have been situations of sexual harassment) and the idea that men and women can't be friends or collaborate is the most damaging thing. We need men in our lives, boys and girls, men and women. We have the reinvent our interactions.
My favorite teacher ever is my 8th grade math teacher, and I was homeschooled until 6th grade, meaning he beats my mom on that list. He was this goobery old dude with TRIfocal glasses, fun projects every 6 weeks doing everything from basic measurements of things around our homes to planning out your budget for your entire life! He cared about his students so much but the school for some reason disliked him. A parent got mad because after she took her kids out of school for a week long vacation, they didn’t turn in the 6 week project because it was assigned while they were gone and they never asked him for it, even though it was the 4th one of the year and he told them about it before they left. Well the school made him stop doing the projects for the rest of that year. The school made him NOT challenge his students with an educational, fun, and creative project. He left a couple years after my grade to teach at a community college where I went and I ran into him my freshman year. He remembered my name and we talked for several minutes about my degree, his work. And he said he’s proud of where I am and excited to see what I’d do THAT is the kind of teachers we need. And sadly there just aren’t many now
While your father's impact on his students and the school community is certainly commendable, there can be an opposing argument made about the role of male teachers in the education system. It's important to consider various perspectives. Some might argue that the gender of a teacher should not necessarily determine the skills or qualities they can offer to students. While your father was successful in teaching art, agriculture, and practical skills, it could be said that these skills and attributes are not inherently tied to one's gender. Teachers, regardless of their gender, can effectively impart knowledge and values to students.
I am pro-equality, for both men and women. I want both sexes, genders, everyone, to feel like they have the support they need from society. It is an idealistic wish… but I hope that as a society, we work towards making the world a hospitable place for everyone.
@@The_viking_memesphysically, yes, but it dosent really come into play into this society unless you are a athlete or have a construction job. Besides that, men and women are EQUAL in every aspect and consequently deserve the same possibilities
@@The_viking_memes That's just the way you think, for me I think we are all just created in a different way and so might have other fears. If girls were so inferior then this video wouldn't exist
I have a younger brother, only 24. And he has struggled. His relationship with our father is tense/nonexistent. He has struggled with substance abuse, addiction, and I’m sure anxiety and depression though they were never officially diagnosed… He is adverse to any form of therapy, and it took nearly 5 years of convincing to get him into a small college. Our father sees him as a failure and a bum, and it breaks my heart because I don’t see him that way. I see him as my younger brother who loved to tinker with toys and build and create things. Just because he didn’t love traditional school (he wasn’t even a bad student, just not at the very top), it built a bad relationship with our father, and thus, I believe, pushed him into this “malaise”… where he just on the surface seems very behind in life. This man’s work helped me to give voice to what I believed my younger brother has been suffering from and is having to deal with. Thank you, A Big Sister
it's incredible how many parents have lofty standards for their kids then do nothing but criticise them. My dad hammered it into me that I must follow him to Oxbridge, but never once did he help me with my homework, or indeed anything at all. Lazy, lazy parenting. We haven't spoken in years.
As a male around that age (just turned 25), who has lived with most of those things myself. Those things don't define me, they refine me, it's a lot, but it helps build strength and character. Your brother is strong if he is still able to manage everything. Though I hope he changes his mind about therapy, I understand the mindset and costs, but it's a tool that exists to help people. I obviously don't know your father, but I hope they are able to reconcile. Also, tell your father (without damaging your own relationship) that “failures and bums” are those who don't support their family.
My younger brother is very similar. He'll eventually put a led through his thinking box, sadly like several of my friends and a couple of his own have already done. I would assume it sucks for him seeing his younger sister accomplishing things in life while he hasn't even held a girls hand. My mother finally noticed and asked me how to solve it, me being a idiot though I just told her just like me and my elder brother will keep working at life entail we can't anymore then take our leave. No one cares about how we are doing and nor should they care, not their damn problem. Hope your brother gets better though, my little brother helps me rebuild trucks on his off time away from work keeps the mind off of things.
As a 38 year old man, that often times feels worthless, this video is powerful. Thank you for doing this research. I know this sounds weird, but it makes me feel like I'm not alone when I hear that other men struggle with these issues, and doesn't make me feel as hopeless.
I’m so glad you found comfort and validation in the video, and if we can keep this narrative going towards acknowledgment and resolutions, perhaps we can find our way back to each other in the spirit of decreasing this loneliness and isolation that so many men are feeling. The woman in me wants to run in and nurture the pain away but this is a journey that only the men can travel and solve. Please know that there are women who do care.
In 2003 I was doing research for an article about overachieving kids who win science fairs and other academic competitions. Turned out they belonged to specific racial communities in the US. I interviewed several parents for insights. The most telling one was with a rocket scientist dad of an Intel Scholarship winning kid. He said it boils down to family. “Chances are if the family unit is stable (husband & wife) the kids will be smarter - boys or girls. There is no substitute for attentive, supportive and caring parents.” That stuck.
Wow I'll meditate on that. Given that my parents are distant and I'm at the age where I need to start paying my bills (late 18yrs old). But, from a poor social class with little education in a foreign country, with no family members apart from my father who wants to go back to his country and I'm lost and unsure what I should do with my life.
my dad was highly educated but mostly absent while i was growing up. my mom wasn’t as educated as him but cuz i was a sick kid she had to give up her career to take care of me and so she became a stay at home mom. while i was going through school i noticed a lot of my friends who were doing significantly better than me came from stable families with parents that encouraged them and supported them through their childhoods. seeing all of them kinda made me just feel dejected all the time and useless since anything i learnt or did, they’d do better. education has always been a struggle for me and once i got to college it just got worse. i don’t have any passions and i don’t know what i ever wanted to be when i grew up. now i am a full adult who is a dropout with no useful skills no useful knowledge and probably no future. i don’t even kno how to be a “man”
@@so_rise you'll get there. I believe that life is fair somehow. If you didn't have the helpful social status, I'm sure there's something else in your pocket that will raise your chances in life: maybe a good genes 🧬 or a one-of-a-kind mentor....or any other bounties sent your way...just keep going
I live in the UK. I tried to become a physics teacher at 35 with a real passion for my subject and an enormous amount of life and vocational experience. I was cancelled simply for questioning a really pernicious and toxic set of feminist ideas. I was actually told there are two truths when I pointed clear lies and was also accused of being aggressive by women who clearly felt intimidated by my intelligence. I did so much more work that all of my peers and scored better in exams but was told that I would have to repeat all of my placements based on some complete lies told by a couple of female staff. I mean really basic stuff like 'Benny has done no preparation for this lesson' when I had actually created a series of slides on a pen drive that they refused to look at. I made an official complaint to the university. The investigation took nearly ten months rather than the four weeks I was promised and was not upheld. I appealed to the Public Services Ombudsman who partially upheld my complaint on the grounds that the investigation/cover up did not reasonably investigate my concerns but the University still completely refused to acknowledge any fault.
I am so sorry for your experience. As a 32 year old now unemployed and overeducated man that can relate to a lot of what you're saying, I feel like I dodged the bullet by deciding not to become a teacher. This is not our time unfortunately.
I'm 28 now. I have a little boy who's currently 21 months, and I will I not allow the society to roll right past him and leave him behind as I almost was. Unlike the majority of my generation, he will learn his worth at a reasonably young age and not be left alone to suffer hard lesson after hard lesson. I will be there to take his hand and guide him to what it means to be a good man because I felt what it was like to go without that male guidance. To any young men out their 15+ feeling lost and tribeless you need to know that you are worthy of love and admiration, and you are in fact not useless.
The problem of being tribless, unwanted, unloved is that everyone tells us that we are capable of being loved and that we are worthy of it but nobody ends up choosing us.
@@Fallensky17 I am 42, male no family/kids. But that is not the only purpose in life. I try to make the world a little better for my friends, my wider family (my nieces) and everyone else. Thats more than enough purpose in life for me. What i am trying to say Family/kids does not equal purpose. It can be one, but its only one out of a load of things that can give you purpose. If you feel purposeless because of this go soulsearching. I assure you there is purpose, but i cannot give it to you.
Kudos, I love your concern. ideas, and attitude . I pray for you so that as you try to make efforts to correct these relationship issues in families, you may not make worse mistakes . Most of the times we may think we are correcting mistakes yet we are worsening the situation for our family members. We also need the grace of God in our efforts.
Back in 2019 I got a job teaching schoolchildren up to grade 3. The school wanted to keep me and intended on letting me teach children up to 5th grade, yet after a month of probationary period, I decided not to continue there. What struck me was the fact that boys, whom I had taught for merely a month, cried on my last day. Some of the other -more experienced- teachers said that the boys cried because they were losing a male teacher.
I’m a female primary school teacher and this totally makes sense. Your loss must have been heartbreaking for those boys (and girls!) as they had probably very few or no male teachers to look up to at school before you.
I never met my dad growing up, neither did a lot of my friends (poor neighbourhood) I had one male teacher in primary school and honesty I loved him. He had a huge impact on my life, I think at the time I saw him as a surrogate father. When I moved into his teaching year I went from an average student to top of he class, I started to love going to school, he coached the football team and I eventually made Captain. That man was a godsend in my life. There’s something to be said for young boys having more male role models around
I'm a girl and I've seen this in my day to day life. Watching certain experiences male friends and family members were just expected to endure due to being male has made me so incredibly frustrated with this issue. I come back to this video time to time because I appreciate it so much. Thank you for making this video
Going on 31, my dad got diagnosed with cancer when I was 16, attempted suicide at 17 in front of me, when I was 18 i was there when they told him your terminal. I took care of him mentally, physically, and financially. Putting my own dreams and aspirations in the trash to spend as much time as I can. He died October 2021. Now it feels like playing catch up with no hope in sight. I’ve never dated, I’ve always been low wage , anything I did make went to help my parents. I was born with a heart condition so always been overweight. I’ll just say the number of times I’ve been close to ya know has been hundreds. I would agree with feeling useless and worthless. I’m invisible to society. I gave up years ago having a normal life I’m just drifting at this point occasionally enjoying hobbies. The only family I have left is my mom at this point. After her I see no point.
I can say nothing because I feel exactly the same, but in a different situation, let me tell you something: There is no use expecting to find anything in others, we have to sail alone, enjoy the sea on the way... nobody will jump in our boats (I know I'm a married man with two children) only woman and children got somebody on their boats, but occasionally another boat will join your way for time to time, visualize a coast in the horizon and keep going there.
@@armoredlumberjack1999 make that choice and all you'll be is neutered. There is way more going on than this bozo is talking about. In order to fix it, men have to first walk away from the system that is supporting it. You clearly aren't willing to do so, and it will destroy you in the end.
This makes me so sad! As a fellow teacher with a teacher husband and a teacher father, I can attest to the extraordinary benefit of boys having a male role model at school. Many of the boys I teach don't have strong male role models at home, and having a male counselor, teacher or coach can make a more personal impact on these young men than I could as a woman.
My mother was a single parent. She worked two jobs so we never saw her. In 6th grade I got a job illegally working on a ranch with grown men to help support my family. From that point on I have been working, just imagine 6th grade! My older sister is two years older than me and while she wasn’t at all pressured into getting a job me being the male of the family I felt the strong urge to help provide. Needless to say I lost my childhood and I grew up way too fast, nobody else in my class ever experienced anything remotely close to it. It definitely made me stronger and wiser than my peers, but I suffered and still do. I’ve always thought that all of my suffering came from not having a dad and honestly it brings me peace to know I was right. I’m now a father and I’ve gone down the “best dad ever” path and I’m able to fix my past by giving an incredible childhood to my kid. Guys just know that you ARE needed.
Of all the jobs you could have been saddled(lol) with, you chose probably the best one. Ranch hands take care of their own and do their best to help each other if they're able; you grew up with quite a few good role models there I would assume as bad eggs generally don't last more than a season before they're tossed for being douchebags
@@maxonmendel5757 at first glance it seems to be that way. Every day we wake up is another day to better ourselves. Nobody knows anything about a subject until they put time and effort into it. You don’t have to move mountains today, just start somewhere and go from there. You also said you’re about to get married! Congratulations btw and just know that your partner needs you and you will find a way to provide somehow someway. Keep going and never give up, you ARE needed.
As a mother of twin boys I can confirm how damaging it is to be fatherless - my husband died when they were only 4 years old and they have had little to no male role models. They are struggling
Thanks for making such a great video on men's issues! It's refreshing to see the topic getting addressed in a way that rejects a zero-sum gender conflict.
Not to my gf apparently lol, she stopped the video every 2 mins to talk about how “women go through the same thing”, even though it’s a video specifically about boys and men.
@@zecmadeit Because when we said these things without also having zero rights ,we were just shushed down. Now when men say it, it's revolutionary. Just like always.
Worked at a job where I was sexually harassed daily. Told my manager that I didn't feel comfortable and she told me "To learn to take a compliment". I quit. She emailed me two months later and asked if I wanted to come back and that she would add 3 dollars to my hourly wage. To this day I'm still pissed.
You’re right, men are beginning to lose interest in women in mass, I’m already starting to notice the subtle changes. They won’t ever say this irl for fear of public condemnation, but you’ll see it everywhere online. AI girlfriends are becoming increasingly prevalent compared to AI boyfriends.
@@blue-phoenix115 it goes both ways too. Lots of women aren’t bothering to date right now due to such different expectations in relationships. It’s a big gap across the board.
@blue-phoenix115 if you think that AI boyfriend is not going to be successful.... that's because you never heard of 'love and deepspace' (most successful otome/dating game for girls, pretty sure they would sell their kidneys for an AI bf). Also same observation, none of my friends (f), are interested in dating... not even me actually :/.
I'm a 39 year old man who grew up without a father and it still affects me today. I have a family of my own now, but I feel like I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. It's insane how men can't talk about their problems without being made fun of, but yet at the same time we are told to be open and honest about our feelings.
@@jjoohhhnn You can see it in the video and in all the top comments every single issue you every try to bring up has to be prefaced with "I know women have it worse and are right about everything always" before showing straight up statistically that statement is untrue but they have to do it anyway.
Man I feel the same exact way about my daughter I feel so clueless out here. Like I'm trying to make money for her and also me and my bills. Her mom keeps telling me I'm a good dad but I already know I'm not.
As an 18 year old man who just got into college and wants to become an Elementary School Teacher I’ve always known that the workforce I’m going into has been built much more for women and it at first made me feel I wasn’t needed and useless because I was male. However I then realized it didn’t mean that, it actually meant the exact opposite, it meant that I was much more needed than ever before. The more the number of male teacher plummets the more motivated I am to try and put a stop to it. I hope one day once I get my degree to actually make an everlasting impact on a district with the work I put in. If you read all this your an absolute legend
Please keep striving to do what you can. 40% of boys between the 1st and 12th grade are without a father due to divorce, death, or absence.(In the US) I *promise* you would be doing good things for people. I know that my 3rd-grade teacher was monumental for allowing me to be the person I am today.
good for you. I've heard that the reason there're more women in the education system, especially lower education, is that it doesn't pay well, and many men who are qualified want higher-paying jobs. I'm glad you chose to be an elementary school teacher, and a father figure for many boys. Whether those boys can grow into accountable men, and whether girls can find accountable life partners in the future, is up to people like you, Good luck with everything.
I find it interesting how when a lot of these social crises are boiled down, it almost always shows how poorly designed our education system is. I ironically grew up wanting to be a teacher, partly due to how much I looked up to my male teachers, but it seems I was never cut out to succeed in an academic environment. Now I own a growing business and I have the immense privilege of being a positive influence on the younger employees that come through. I think overall, a lot of systems ingrained in society need a serious overhaul if we ever hope to live in a better world.
I think the issue is deeper than that unfortunately, if we can't effectively guide our use of tools the system will fail until the point our management of the system matches the technology in use.
@@andrewpierce1588 Mentorship/Apprenticeship. It's not as formal but it seems that men respond a lot better to a "wise" authority figure. You tend to find the old bastard types on job sites rather than classrooms.
What people should understand is “you should see a man as a man, woman as a woman” when talk about equality we are not trying see the difference between men and women.therefore we think women should redeem their rights by doing what men can do.Thus make the society unstable!
I love that you're shedding light on men's issues because ever since I found out about boys being taught to suppress their emotions from a young age and about the pressures they face throughout their lives to always be manly, I've had a soft place in my heart for the silent suffering of men.
As a 25 year old Native American man I had experienced these disparities, with the exception of attempting suicide, though on two occasions i was indirectly close. I greatly appreciate the likes of Sean Carrol, yourself, Brian green, and pbs channels for your initiative’s. I have gone back to school full time to study CS in hopes to make myself useful for the kids like me and my reservation through creating impactful resources. Thank you guys for helping society grow and allowing a new way for everyone to learn.
This is really important. I almost never see men's issues being talked about ever, so I'm really glad you've brought them up and talked about them with very well-done research. Let's create our own reality where men and boys can heal themselves and become more involved where they lack, as well as having the support of those around them. This message needs to be spread around just as much as women and girl's issues. edit: Beware of trolls in the comments. Ignore hate. Much love to all.
I was going to college to become a teacher. I even worked as a teacher for one fall semester. The kids loved me so much that it became a problem in the eyes of many. My homeroom was 8th graders and everytime they saw me they would run to me and hug me. Being a male, other people looked at me being friendly with the kids as creepy so I just told the principal I would be gone once I finished that semester. Men faces stigmas women don't even though there are more female teacher in scandals with students.
Well, statistically, children are safer around women than men. I’m not talking about you, just in general. That’s also why Nannies are almost always women.
@@ayla8345 When I see headlines of men killing toddlers because they wouldn't stop screaming, I get it. That's a person who doesn't even understand basic human development.
@@ayla8345 Most nannies are female because they are patient with children, not because they aren't child abusers, if none of them were i wouldn't have been abused by one.
Got to love the clown world we live in coming from a gen Z nothing makes sense anymore We don't even know what f****** gender we Are I really wish they would bring back the days where if you owned land you were the only ones to vote if you can't get drafted you shouldn't have a say in the country the dumbest decision was to allow women to have the right to vote but not serve the country in the same way that a man does clown ass world 🌎 twice the amounts of workers for half as less
Ask her why men are more likely to suicide 💀 Men as in mental health definitely don't have the upper hand, there isn't even a hand. You usually get to push through all by yourself. With antidepressants and such it took me 7 years to even eat properly, people still ignore I was ever mentally ill. And they are shaming me. Yet whenever a girl was just saying she was "tired today/sad today" they did everything to help her. But not even once someone accepted to talk to me about the subject.@@cocacolaowo318
I wasn’t expecting to be touched by this video but it really does it home. As a guy I have come to depend only on myself because no one ever helps us to the point where we not know HOW to even accept help. I grew up with a single mom who didn’t understand that I genuinely struggled in school. It’s very hard to process being intelligent yet not being able to handle school. I was essentially kicked out at 18 and forced to go to college in a new state and the reality was I just wasn’t ready for it so I failed out after only two semesters. I had never felt so lonely and isolated and lost as I did that year. I ended up working in restaurants to support myself and drank all the time. It wasn’t until only a few years ago that I was able to get sober (on my own with no support), enrolled in a trade school and became an electrician. Now I’m finally stable and healthy but what it took to get here is beyond words. Of course my mother is happy but we don’t really have a relationship at all anymore.
HARD Times makes STRONG MEN...tbh, you were a lot better off dealing with stuff by yourself...it has made you STRONGER brother...and the world needs STRONG MEN and not weak pussies that Evil Feminism has/is trying to create...as they know MEN will become easily controlled.
Regarding the issue of people entering HEAL professions, the issue is probably beyond gender divide and is one of insufficient pay in many of such jobs. A great step forward would be to increase wages in HEAL to encourage more people (men & women) to embrace these very useful jobs. We live in a crazy world in which the least socially useful jobs (think investment bankers & co) are paid many times more than people in roles that provide the foundation of our societies (healthcare & education).
This is absolutely the ticket. The last thing a disempowered man wants to hear is that he needs to pivot to an underpaid and underappreciated career to succeed. We need less superficial praise for "heroes" in healthcare and education, and more real improvement of their working conditions and pay
Well, the market determines how we value things. The market, not me, not you. And anytime we try to artificially increase wages for sectors the Market doesn't value, we get burnt
@@riverland0072 When Wall Street is in crisis, they get a bailout from the government and it's okay to meddle in the market. When workers are in crisis, they get told "we can't meddle with the market". Certainly any economic policy can have negative repercussions, but we shouldn't dismiss new ideas without examining any real evidence of the possible pros and cons. Economics in the real world is not the same as what you learn in 101. And you have to think about who controls the publishing of that 101 textbook and how they may be biased towards teaching you oversimplified ideas about supply and demand that benefit their wallets
Male psychology GCSE teacher and safeguarding lead/aspiring clinical psychologist here. Firstly, thank you for the video, it's extremely informative and highlights issues I didn't even know existed. I was told on my first few days in the job not to hug any students because all it takes is one allegation for an investigation that will destroy your career. Whilst I understand the need for such strong safeguards, it was still extremely challenging to ask another female staff member to hug the 15-year-old girl who had managed to find the courage to disclose years of domestic abuse to us. Sometimes I think about normalized inequality such as 'of course you asked the female member of staff to hug her, that's normal' and I wonder if that's really how it should be? Should comforting another human being with something as basic as a hug be gate kept by gender? Should empathy be attributed to femininity? Where does that leave men if this is the case. Again, thank you for the video, I am tempted to read the whole book now.
Thanks for your choice of career and your work. I grew up in a small town school where most of the teachers were women, they were all lovely but children can struggle to make connections if they feel they're too different from their teachers. My younger brother struggled a lot and it was a new male teacher who helped him out of his rut, he gave my brother a sort of role model to aspire to, someone relatable he could talk to day to day, someone who cared about his potential beyond the little delinquent it seemed so many staff categorised him as. I'm sure you'll have many students that will look back fondly on your interventions, I know my brother looks back fondly on his
@@shamrock141 Thanks man, it means the world. I've had plenty of 'delinquents' that just needed an adjustment to expectation and style in order to shine. I hope your brother's doing well now and is finding his success in life.
The men who let their urges get to them poisoned the rest of us. I must admit, our brains are literally hardwired to be like that, but making an assumption that you ARE a person that has bad intention simply by the act of hugging is beyond me.
As a female I appreciate how brave he is for talking about something that nobody seems to know or care about. He doesn't villify women in his arguments because he knows society needs BOTH men and women to flourish, and that makes me respect him. This video really puts into perspective what my male friends go through, why they always seem so unhappy, and why they never talk about it even when I ask. On the topic of our education system, I cannot agree more that it needs to change. Quick. It's rigid, outdated, and discriminates across so many sectors. It's simply not built with humanity in mind, much less for males and anybody else whose minds function on practicality and purpose. Heck, even as a girl with high academic performance, I am one of those people. If you're a guy reading this, please know that there are plenty of people (male or female or other) who understand and acknowledge your struggles. The number of people in the comments who resonate with the topic is proof enough. It is not your fault that you are suffering. Nobody can tell you that you're useless and don't deserve to exist, not even yourself! It is okay to be upset about these issues, because they are certainly happening and are hurting you. Just don't fall into the trap of hatred; hating because you feel hated never balances out the equation, it just perpetuates the vicious cycle. Instead, know that you can reach out to people you can trust and respect! Edit: Being independent and capable of handling things on your own is a positive trait and proves you are mature. Still, mature people are still people with emotions and circumstance, not to mention the kind of world we live in now. If you don't have anyone immediately around to talk to in bad times, there are different kinds of professional mental health support systems out there. And sometimes, the people you know might seem unapproachable, but you might be surprised by how understanding they actually are. You don't have to tell everything, just letting them know you need a little help can be enough.
Stfu there aren't people who are " out there and acknowledge your struggles ". You learned nothing from this video at all. That's the issue, nobody is out there that cares.
"The movement for equality has - without declaration - become the movement for supremacy". It is hard for both, men and women, to talk about this topic. There is a lot of pain and personal experience involved. I really care for women and I really care for men. Our life styles have changed so much within the last 100 years, it's hard to find ones personal place and it's just as hard to find the right answers to questions that can only be answered subjectively. I'm liberal, I'm conservative, I'm against simple claims and pro accepting the complexity of the nature of things. I'm sure - one way or another - we'll find a way as society to make it work somehow. I don't know who needs to read this right now, but I want you to know that your life is special, you are important and all the struggle is worth it in the end. So keep going.
What's missing from education now is excellence, competence, patriotism, culture and God. Giving a participation trophy to everyone sabotages a boy's competitive spirit. Why try if the authorities won't allow you to win? The Left is fighting a Culture war against America. They dumb down the curriculum. They aim instruction at the least capable students; while ignoring the needs of the superior ones. What 8th graders in 1880 were expected to know was impressive. The Kids then loved America. There was no time for politically correct ideas. We need competent and knowledgable citizens. If we don't teach civics or the classics, how will students appreciate the blessings they gain from being an American? Will they value the sacrifices which our forbearers made to provided us with civilization and prosperity? The Left in control of education say a resounding , "No." This is all a Leftist plot. Thank Antonio Gramsci for that. The only solution is to end government education. Give the parents back the school taxes and let them control where to spend it. Put the parents back in control of their children's education. Even a Feminist mother won't allow her son to be left behind.
If society was a pyramid, most people on the very top are men but most people on the very bottom are men and boys too and the pyramid is way bigger on the bottom than on the top. Women, for most cases, live happily in the middle. Now most effort today is made in trying to bring women to the top and also tearing the men on the top down but about the men and boys at the very bottom, nobody cares.
As a man and a worker, i always remember this: Every company fears one thing. Someone who knows both their rights and their worth. Keep both in mind and follow them.
It makes me so happy that this man includes boys when talking about men, because yeah, you don't need to be an adult in order to struggle with purpose, emotions or life itself. I, as a teen, have thought of suicide multiple times. The fact is that it is the real solution, I mean, it will end all suffering, but it will left depressed family members of mine, who indirectly stop me from doing it. I have already decided not to do it because of them. Not because I love them, but because they love me. And yeah, I have been to therapy sessions. It doesn't work for me. When I have to put my problems into words, not only can't I find a fitting description, but neither a solution. I actually thought that this video was about men getting pissed off my modern women who developed a radical feminist mind. These women don't appreciate anything of men, and even then they ask for more and more things. Back to the point, I expected richard reeves to talk about this, but it was actually better.
I run programs for juvenile boys. And let me tell you, he is spot on. Reprogramming them to find a purpose and get educated is hard. What works for us is re-introducing the “productive male figure” through intense mentorship. We have seen much success, even with boys who are incarcerated. Let’s keep this conversation going🙏🏽
I'm lucky myself to have never needed of any of this programs but I want to thank you for your time and effort to give a young man the chance to seek a better future and guide them
I used to think studying was pointless. My grades were the worst in my class. One day, when I was 12, I was talking to my studious friend, and he told me that the reason he studied hard and aimed to maintain a high GPA was to get into a prestigious university, because this, he explained, would give him a better chance at landing a high-paying job as a lawyer. According to him, studying hard as a child was the easiest way to maximize your chances to get rich as an adult. This blew my mind. It was the first time anyone ever explained to me the fact that studying might actually produce real-life benefits, even if you didn't want to become a scientist or engineer. I had thought that studying was just a process of memorizing massive amounts of useless information. I literally had no idea it was virtually all you needed to do to land certain types of high-paying jobs. Up until then, I hadn't even realized that actions performed today could pave the way for a better future. I didn't understand that people could actually live for the future. I had thought life was all about trying to have fun, and scraping by. After that day, I started studying hard. Originally, I just wanted to improve my chances to get rich, like my friend did. After a couple years, I began outperforming everyone else in my class in terms of STEM and language grades. Thanks to other positive influences, my life priorities changed along the way, and I ended up becoming an academic research scientist. My successes were a result of my studying hard, and ultimately, I owe them all to my friend, who gave me the motivation to start. Had I never met him, I honestly think I would have ended up a failure, since my own parents, and most other people around me, were terrible sources of influence. As I see it, the biggest problem in school culture (where I'm from) is that no one really explains that studying hard can lead to concrete benefits. Children don't understand the big picture, so they don't see the value of amassing knowledge for its own sake. And the vast majority certainly don't believe they can―or even want to―become scientists or engineers. So the easiest way to motivate them is to explain to them what my friend explained to me: get good grades and you have a shot at getting into a good uni, and get into a good uni and you have a shot at landing a lucrative job. Virtually every child understands the value of money. There are of course other ways, such as using educational stories to convey the value of knowledge, or making studying more engaging with games or entertainment. And so on. But using money as a motivator is a lot simpler and easier, and that's why I feel it's the best place to start.
I don't believe a productive male figure is needed, no need for figures, I think we should rather just let them feel out the world and approach it the way they will, humans will learn by themselves
Men compete in reward based systems. They won't (and probably can't ) just take orders for no reason. Without some tangible goal and reward men won't participate. Women will participate just because that's what they are told to do.
This hits especially close to home. My father died when I was 6 in a driving accident. Growing up, I didn't realize how much that has impacted my life. Now, as an adult looking back, I feel very strongly that his absence has negatively affected my life. It has trickled down into every facet of life, and I hope that in the future, more people will understand that women are not the only gender that needs help in life. In many ways, I think we men need more help than ever before if we want to achieve something like sexual equality for society.
I kinda like the added last bit, I feel like if we had our attention on every side equally then maybe we'd get somewhere, but if we fight for women's rights and shut men out, they'll become more destructive to themselves and others. It doesn't benefit anyone to lift either side. If we have healthy men helping healthy women and vise versa, that would just lead to more growth on every side. Although, I'd also like to include everyone in the middle of those sides. Much better world when we get support and give support than take, take, take. Life's hard, regardless of sex, race, ethnicity, sexuality, etc. Maybe save for those with power and money, though.
@@asmrain5652First, we need to entirely dismantle the united states' government and reassemble it with our modern technology and research in ways that allow everyone to truly have equal opportunities and rights.
True that. I'd rather listen to actual studies, examples, well researched articles, testimonials, etc instead of listening to likes like Andrew tate or those masculinity, red pill, Sigma wierdos. People don't understand that men like these are there to make a fortune. They don't really give a sht about common men. They just wanna feed their insecurities and the best way to do that is create hatred among them towards women. Just like the feminism shows the bad side of men on spotlight, those men shows bad side of women on spotlight. And boom!! We have a mob of men following that
@@haruka0002 I'm not a boy/man, so I cannot talk for you guys. But I've had a few experiences of discrimination for being a girl :/ The saddest is when it is from female teachers. Most teachers treated me right tho, I hope y'all are doing good. Everyone can make amazing things, trust yourself!
As a woman, who is pursuing a career in a male dominated field I'm starkly aware of how a lack of same sex role models can affect you. Sadly this issue is becoming more of a problem for men, and a lot of women don't want to admit that. Finding middle ground in such a sensitive topic will be hard, but society will be all the better if we continue to push for real equality, where both men and women can pursue careers that suit their unique skills without feeling like an outcast
@@TitoRapa I don't strictly disagree, however, I also believe in Hope and trying your damn best to make a difference. Sure, you probably aren't going to make a difference in the whole of western civilization, but you do have an effect in your life, and your family and your town, etc. Don't put the blame on everyone else, it's wasting time that you could use to start making a change and it just makes you more miserable. I learned this lesson the hard way, I wasn't depressed because my situation was bad, I was depressed because I convinced myself that I couldn't make it better.
@@bria1648 i will keep that quote if you dont mind. i mean situation can be bad, but very few situation are so fucked up that they cant get better. and actually starting around you is agood starting point. i did this too, while my situation was bad. and looking back i thought maybe i can get out of this in like 2 years, it took 4 for the most basic shit and 6 for more or less all problems from then, not doing new dumb stuff and resolving the new problems that just happened. but 8-10 years later i am still glad to have put in the work.
I was effectively raised by a single mother from the age of 10, due to a disinterested father. Since then, I've been a high-school teacher for just under 8 years now, studying for a career change into academia. There are two things that seriously bother me about the Australian education system. This video is so damn accurate, it's almost frightening. 1: The number of mixed messages boys are receiving in our system, partly due to the disproportionate numbers of female teaching staff, particularly in the Primary sector. Don't misunderstand me; there are some bloody amazing female teachers out there, I know many of them. But so many boys are growing up with single mothers, or in female-dominated families. And they need positive male role models, to model real masculinity. To borrow a phrase from Dr Robert Glover (No More Mr Nice Guy): so many boys become men who have been shamed into believing that they're not okay being who they are, just as they are. CLARIFICATION: This last part is not because mothers are unable to properly raise sons. It is because in many cases, fathers are not present to model positive behaviours, eg communication, independence, respect, integrity and perseverance, among others. As a result, many boys are often socially unskilled and lack resilience. 2: The lack of support for men in education and our wider society. One of the core reasons I got out of full-time teaching and went back to casual/part-time was the amount of workplace bullying going on in teaching. Some of the best teachers I've worked with have been men, some of the best have been women. And it's the same conversely - some of the worst bullies and worst colleagues I've had have been men, some have been women. In my short career I've contemplated suicide, had PTSD and one of my best mates nearly died from an overdose, following an argument with a corrupt principal. These are both serious problems - and problems are only solved when they're called out. I wouldn't recommend teaching as a career choice for anybody at the moment. But particularly not for men.
Men have failed their sons generation after generation. Here in the US, Fathers are so terrible, they put Dead Beat Dads on the post office walls to try and shame them. Did nothing. When you fly into the US they ask for Mother's Maiden name as the US is known as the Fatherless. US men by and large stay man children. We've done all we could to try to include them. When not dealing with the violent ones, they just want porn/prostitutes/tail/sports/gambling and alcohol. The opposite are the monsters of religion who want women to be livestock to them; cooking, cleaning, brood mare all for free. So many think men are a virus that need to be wiped off the face of the planet. In my Grams day, they said, all men want are a nurse or a purse, so this is nothing new. What's new is women are sick of men, so we've stopped caring and men don't care about men, so men are feeling that lack of emotional support from women overall. And women and girls are just done, done, done. When women find out it's a boy, they are aborting it, so they reversed Roe. When people find out that it's a boy, they say, oh sorry, he'll only grow up to hurt us. There is literally no hope left for men here. The anger girls and women have toward men is palpable in the US. Boys and men, "boys will be boys" - they've just done too much harm. They've hated their own sons and steal their own sons resources generation after generation and have blamed the all male created school system on women. The very ones who've kept these boys alive when the men would've let them starve to death. So women are walking away from Motherhood, men in general, nursing and teaching in droves. Men created the education system the entire world currently has and then whine when boys can't compete in your own man made system. Women and girls have only just been allowed to get in, and in only certain countries around the world and we do it while bleeding the whole time and still boys can't keep up. Really think about that. Imagine blood coming out of you for up to seven days, every single month for almost your entire school year and working career; it hurts and you're 9-14 years old when it starts. And still boys and men whine. All the while boys and men making fun of periods. Why would little girls have any empathy for boys when they don't have to suffer like girls do and still girls learn better than them? The number of excuses men keep coming up for themselves is beyond pathetic and all men know this. Start actually saying it's all your fault, because it is, and maybe women will care again. Doubtful though. The ship has sailed and women and girls are opting out. And don't forget, men are becoming the top booty prize, so when men are playing basketball in the future with their shirt off and get assaulted by other men and come running to the women, he assaulted me, women will say what men said to us all this time, what were you wearing, oh, you were showing skin, how short were those shorts..oh, then you were asking for it. Go ahead, keep blaming the all male created school system on women. What else is new. Men make the rain and then ask why it's raining. Pathetic. Imagine if all the single Moms decided to stop feeding all their sons back in the day, then we wouldn't have to listen to you whine today. Go yell at all your loser Fathers...oh wait you can't...because they never cared about you. Sorry all the Moms and women stepped in to try and teach you and feed you, you know, not only gave you literal life, which cost them their own bodies and physical health, but literally kept you alive when the majority of men chose to let you starve emotionally and physically. And men wonder why women aren't listening anymore, every time you open your mouths it's still men blaming women for what men do and we are frankly, just tired of it.
@@juliebella1221 Did you actually read what I wrote? I'm not blaming anyone for anything. I was failed by my own father. Some of my best mentors and role models have been women. And some of my best mentors and role models have also been men. I've also had bad experiences working with men and women alike. As I clarified here. So before you go calling anybody pathetic, get the message straight. Beyond what I've written here, you don't know a goddamn thing about me. You want change? Start with basic respect. Some of us actually understand that.
@@solitarysurreal3652 Yes, I read it twice. And I stand by what I wrote. In one breathe you're like oh thank goodness for my Mom as my Dad didn't care and the next, boys are failing because it's only female teachers.....even though the curriculum is set by men. How you don't get men, overall, are the problem men are facing today, is beyond me. It's because women have opted out that men are in crisis right now because no other men are stepping up. You yourself stepped down. All women do is step in and step up and you say men shouldn't get into the teaching profession while saying boys are failing. Whatevs.....you do you. Happy New Year and sorry if I offended your delicate sensibilities with truth. I read your post twice because one paragraph is yay women, the next, too many women in the school system and I'm a dude and I'm leaving the school system. I wrote about men in general around the world, how men and boys got here today. You said your a man, so that's what I wrote about. I don't know anything about you other than your male and males are in crisis and the reason why is because y'all keep blaming us for you stepping down and out. It's ridiculous. You don't get that, no worries mate. I'll leave you to it. :)
@@juliebella1221 And I respect you standing by what you're saying, because you're right in a lot of things. But I did not say too many women in the education system, I said not enough men. That's not the same thing. I'm a huge proponent of the balance - kids of any gender need male and female role models in their lives. The fact that boys don't have enough POSITIVE male role models in their lives is a critical issue. If fathers actually modeled to their sons the values of respect, ownership, communication, conflict resolution and integrity - and were consistently present to do so - boys across the board would be far better off. And would be far more socially skilled and as a result, know how to treat women properly. Which is better for everyone. Upon which we both appear to agree. Not offended by truth - in fact I didn't find anything personally offensive here. So I'll apologise if I came across that way. I made the decision to step down and out because of corruption, bullying, inconsistency and toxicity coming from men and women alike. But likewise, Happy New Year and I'll leave you to it.
let me tell you i broke down crying watching this. i finally felt like someone understood what’s happening to us, and it’s so damn crazy that most of society is just letting us crash and burn
How sad for you to live in a time period that’s not geared entirely towards uplifting men, like every other one til today, but one where that energy is split. 😢
The irony is it is "sad" but not surprising to see a proportion of females absolutely revelling in this news. Like men are finally getting oppressed for once, or so they imagine. The epitome of a misandrist basically.
@@dogfat. oh it’s split, all right, but almost always unevenly. Between male or female, we can never truly find that balance. Every gender, now including the many others we have today, has its own gripes with a society that pretty much condemns and communizes equality. Equity isn’t as available as promised by our ‘great nation’.
Thanks! As a young professional that 1) works in the public education system, and 2) is aiming to study clinical social work due to the desperate need in our society for mental health resources, I fight day after day to learn how to be an effective teacher, leader, and father, and to push messages like this in our broken education system. It's big picture messages like this one that give me the clarity to keep going despite the often-uphill battle, as well as hope that society as a whole is starting to understand the scope and gravity of the issue. I particularly appreciated the data included in the presentation. Will definitely be referring to this in the future for conversations about the matter. More like this, please!
That's wonderful that you are going into the field, wish you the best and hope this video is useful to you. Thank you for the super like as well! We would be happy to send you a free gift if you'd like to fill out this form: docs.google.com/forms/d/1ltbo96CeRkdyDRzQ18-lXoJAWBSPZDv_2kcxAjGmXUw/edit
@@No-ky3kb I think RUclips has a “give thanks” feature now. Basically, they don’t want people to be pushing money through patreon, RUclips (google) wants the money to flow through their platform directly
Society don't realize how hard a life Men live. The Expectations have become so unreal that even if we complain about the Expectations, it is seen as a weakness and we risk losing Respect from Society. Men are criticized and judged by both Men and Women not just in their outside appearance but by their ability to provide as well. We can't share our feelings out of being ridiculed.
This might’ve been the push for me to become a school teacher, my mentor told me I would probably end up doing it based on the way I am and yet I doubted I’d ever want to do that. But I’ve become *increasingly* drawn towards helping the youth and helping them create a bright future for themselves, especially since there’s a lack of male teaching figures in the black community.
or you'll find out you're not getting through against the onslaught of online influencers and stubborn parents and then rage quit to make more money in another profession
As a male high school teacher, thank you for making this video. I struggled early in school and getting left back in kindergarten really helped me develop as a person I am today. But what you’re saying about needing more men, especially young men, in teaching is something I’ve been told by most of my women colleagues.
Hah! I am a high school teacher for 26 years and can tell you I go to work everyday avoiding landmines laid by females. I stay for the lifestyle but think about leaving daily. Do not show your real masculine side or you will be targeted. Men need to tuck their privates behind them and act like we are metrosexual.
I work in schools in the U.K. and being a man has been one of my key selling points. The children have a different bond and level of respect with me that they don’t with females. More work needs to be done to get men into teaching.
@@yofinance1777 but then this is making them more sexist. The girls won't be partial between male and female teachers. The fact that boys don't respect female teachers is not a flex.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife it's not good that they don't respect female teachers. Girls won't disrespect their male teachers but boys would definitely disrespect their female teachers. Teach your sons to not be a misogynist.
It's an absolute embarrassment that shop classes have been removed from the curriculum. The amount of engagement and mental stimulation that it provides students is incontrovertible. I understand why they did it though. Cost cutting. Chopping up pieces of wood for 30+ students per class can get very expensive.
Woodwork and then metalwork were my favourite classes at school, and I often used to go into the workshop for extra time after school to make things. I am really grateful to the teacher that allowed this. I went on to do an engineering degree and have now spent 30 years as an engineer. In retrospect I suspect that health and safety would now not allow what I did though.
@@PJ-om2wq the health and safety protocols now are also stifling. I understand that there's always risks involved, but you can't grow as a person if you're always being coddled, monitored, and supervised like it is now
@Nidhish Sharma yep, and sitting down at school, for homework, and desk jobs all day aren't too healthy for us either. We need to be more physically active, it's what we evolved to do.
Thank the lord we still have shop classes in my high school. They even incentivize kids to take it by making it a weighted class, as the number of kids taking it is getting lower and lower each year.
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@@kc6810 Unfortunately that was just a women’s role back then. It’s true in nature too, female animals take care of the children whilst the male animals hunt and provide. Of course in our modern society, now, women and men can play the parts of the opposite gender before them-and now women have a much better chance of inventing and providing for society. However, it can’t be denied men have contributed far more for society-i am not saying, however, that women aren’t capable of making the same contributions. It was all just evolutionary bad luck-or good luck. Women did have it harder.
Special Ed teacher here. 5 out of 24 employees in our wing are male. A coworker had the tenacity to say I was taking part in some "boys club" when I came out of a meeting that happened to involve a male admin. The level of unawareness is so frustrating
You bring up a decent point though. There isn't much awareness. Men have had decades of training on the need to treat women as equals. Women have had decades of training that they can be equal or better than men. The average person just isn't intelligent enough to realize that these principles need to go both ways when the training only focuses on one direction.
And yes, the old schtick about men's privilege is pretty tired. Much of it is true, but blown way out of proportion to reality and too often used by people being vindictive and trying to take the victim role. (Saying that as someone who has had to face my tendency to play the victim role myself in some areas of my life - so no judgment, just understanding.)
There's a military school in Oakland. I was told that former military veterans were hired and the school was run pretty strict. But for some boys, this is what they needed. Then, a Liberal principal was hired and made the school like the rest. The school just fell apart.
It seems education is important for both genders. But there should be some balance, have freedom of choice. then as experts say those long-term marriages are flourishing if both have the same values, hobbies, same lifestyle. so it's interesting that when you see a couple from the same environment or same job, for example, music field or science field. they understand each other so much that their marriage is long-term, and they share similar points of view or values. It's like the music or the topics brings them together because of empathy. They put themselves in the shoes of the other person. For example, if both love sports or hiking or traveling there is a bigger chance that they will have a long-term relationship. I agree that men are designed to be high performers. As John Gray says estrogen makes women talk about emotions more often. 10 times more noticing emotions and problems when under stress. So I guess women should do some yoga or sport to be less in stress. Testosterone suppresses the estrogen in the man´s body, to be calmer and focus more on task. Testosterone is about problem-solving. So it's true that men are usually better leaders and problem solvers. He also says women should not force their husband to think too much about their emotions. She shouldn't ask him how do you feel, but What do you think? Because if she forces him to feel emotions too much, it's against his biology. But men feel happy to make the wife happy, or create values etc. He says men shouldn't ask women What do you think, but how do you feel? because if he forces her to think rationally and logically it is against her biology, She is becoming masculine. Love and empathy and gratitude are not about logic, its energy, and vibration as Einstein would say. because man expects her to have the type of thinking and feeling as women have thanks to estrogen. He teaches couples how to communicate properly. Empathy helps put each other in their shoes. But elderly men get much more estrogen and females get more testosterone. so it seems they should do some meditation yoga and not think bout their identity so much even Dr. Joe Dispenza says the less you think about your identity such as gender nation, profession, lifestyle, language, status etc. the better you focus on your tasks.
Is it hard to enter teaching as a man? I have a couple of male teacher friends and they said it was super easy for them, they were overwhelmed with job opportunities and higher than usual pay after graduation because "lack of male teachers, we need more men teaching, it's important for the kids" while some female just graduates struggle because they're more women in teaching, so they have to have some other competitive edge to be noticed.
Vocational classes saved me as a boy and young man. I suffered from dyslexia and back then you were just considered dumb. Struggled to read couldn’t spell all around struggled to learn. But I always got A’s in shops and art. When they removed shops from schools and stuffed you in front of a computer it was a kiss of death for gifted boys who could work with their hands producing something of substance!
I drop out of art subjects because they require people to write long analysis that I have no idea what it is about, and suck at it. And most people consider art is art history in college. I still remember my teacher says if you don’t do art ….(some stem) than don’t go to college, in their eyes art is college and theory only.
The only A+ I ever got in school was for a pillow I made. I only just scrapped by with the rest of my school work. We were only ever told about getting to uni, its been such a waste of time for me but now im so far into it i have to finish for whatever reason, ill end up working with heavy machinery
I turned 20 last month. Haven’t seen my dad since I was 16, he kicked me out after we had continuous fights over him remarrying only a few months after my parents divorce. I told him to wait, for my siblings so that they could adjust first and he in short said “no, the father does not listen to his children.” Eventually this led me to get kicked out, and I live with my mom now. I love my mom, but she struggles in many ways in being a single woman parent to a young man. I’ve noticed in work, my self worth, and my desire to learn that there are many negative consequences to not having a dad. Especially how hard it is to transfer into adulthood without the guidance and advice of a dad. It sucks quite frankly. I feel like I’m at the bottom of a pit, trying my damned hardest to keep my head above water but the pit just keeps weighing me down. I’m not gonna give up though, there’s no value in that and I have younger brothers that I would NEVER want to leave alone, I know my presence and care for them helps them in ways I was never helped as the oldest boy in the family. But damn is it hard. I agree with a lot of what he was saying, and especially empathize with the young men of today that are struggling without fathers to help guide them in a beneficial direction. The pit feels like it just keeps digging itself deeper, but you’re never actually stuck there. It just takes a looot of effort to pull yourself out. Part of what helped me deal with my situation was mentally surrendering to the idea that I might fail and I might just end up being a statistic of a boy with loads of potential that flopped in life because he couldn’t keep himself straight. But I don’t want to be that, so while I still have a shot at changing my life I might as well keep going. To anyone that relates in some way to my position, I hope you find your own answer to keep on chugging. It can be as simple as “I don’t want to b*tch out on myself and give up, or give into drugs.” Whatever does the job and whatever you truly believe in is a good solution to live by. Lots of love from a fellow struggler, peace.
I just read your comment, and while I'm aware I don't know your story in detail, I wanted to say that I can see all the efforts you are making, and I realy admire you for that. If I may, I'd like to send you a hug, and an encouragement that you are doing well, and that your effort is more than enough. Life isn't fair, but the way you are living is, to me, a great reminder that we can control how we react to our circumstances, and that we can keep going as long as we have hope :) I wish you all the luck in the world with your journey.
Go into a trade like welding, etc and start making good money as soon as you can, it’ll give you confidence to maybe start your own business one day. And read your Bible if you want to have some sort of moral guidance-I let tell you reading your Bible will help you. Read the ancient Stoics, look up the Stoics channel. Keep yourself fit and healthy, eat protein and greens. Good luck-you’ve got this 👍🏽👍🏽 Be amazing for your little bothers and a better man than your dad! Your little brothers will love you for it-giving them someone to look up to.
All you can do is all you can do…and all you can do is enough - Art Williams. Give 100% or near 100% every day and you will do fine. One of the struggles of this age is thinking you need to put in some insane level of effort to succeed. Most people today are lazy or just getting by. That’s opportunity for you. If it helps, set a long term physical, mental and professional goal then set a series of short term goals to achieve each one so you don’t overwhelm yourself then…go out and do it. Good luck!
You can't pick when you fall in love with someone. This will make sense to you one day. Sorry for your loss. Both my mother and father moved on within 6 months of their divorce. Humans enjoy being in love and they will do crazy things to do it. He should be mature enough to tell you this but men are not always great at talking about feelings. Is there any way to talk to him?
Inequality shouldn't be addressed by putting people down. It should be through raising others up. The hate and vitriol behind oppressors, male, female, white, black, whatever, helps no one. Hatred harbors resentment. Fear harbors resentment. Love harbors connection. Understanding harbors action.
I have never heard this social issue being described so clearly and accurately. Most talks that I've heard on this was just describing one part of the problem. Really well put and I hope that this will help young men going forward being the best version of themselves because we as a society DO need men
If society needs men, then society should probably start showing/telling men what they'll receive in return for their efforts. In other words, why should men invest in society if they're not being given something of equal or greater value in return?
@@metallboy25 We need both, we both have our purposes in society and that is biologically true. Strong and independent? Men need women, and women need men. (Not to survive as individuals, but to survive as a society and a species)
I tried going into the nursing field and started out as a CNA and it was absolutely horrible. I could deal with figuratively (and almost literally) breaking my back as a male doing the heavy lifting, as well as being asked to deal with the more abusive residents. I could deal with drinking 3 energy drinks a day to keep up. I could deal with the backstabbing culture within CNAs, and the constant moral accusations against me and other CNAs by coworkers who just stroll in out of nowhere. I could deal with running myself into the ground and not being appreciated at all by almost anyone. The worst part of it for me that tipped the scale was feeling like I wasn't a part of anything good. Costs for supplies kept getting cut as well as our hours, by sending CNAs home early under the lie of "Low Census," that there were suddenly somehow too many CNAs per resident, and doubling the workload of CNAs for the remaining hours. It was understood that we were pressured to do things in an unsafe way due to the imposed constraints. That was already the case when I started, but it was only continuing to get even worse. I just so happened to walk into the nurse's station to get something when my nurse for that day (one of my few genuinely good coworkers that I appreciated working with) was apparently raising these concerns with the admin (it was only them until I walked in), and the admin only had to say, with a strong air of condescension, "The CNAs should be able to handle their jobs." I knew I had to leave. I did not want to be the reason that somebody got hurt. I was new with my license and I could tell that nobody gives a damn, that even healthcare is profit-driven to the extreme. I left and decided not to continue down that career path. As a side note this was in 2020 for $14 usd/hr, by far the highest wage I could find for a CNA job at that time (most CNA jobs were around $8-$12/hr), which I hardly survived on. I understand its considered a "bad job" and RNs make more, but my point is I have no desire to "move up" in a corrupt system that hurts the people its supposed to care for, and I'd rather just die alone on a cold floor than ever go to some LTC place for care.
Its heartbreaking to read your comment my man. As a rn for the past 7 years, Ive seen our (canada) healthcare system crumble before my eyes. And im sure its the same or worse down in the states. I see this video as an impetus for creating systemic change in our education, economic, and healthcare system because currently, THEY ALL EFFIN BROKEN. It almost feels as though nobody cares anymore, well at least the people in the “higher ups”. Corporations and management mistake profit for proficiency. This scares me to the core because if we’re creating a culture of ignorance and lack of compassion for the future generations, who’s going to be caring for us when we’re old? -almost burnt out critical care nurse
Were those difficulties felt only by you as a man, or do you think the issues with stressful work conditions and backstabbing applied to everyone regardless of gender? I'm honestly asking.
@Patrick OCampo the backstabbing culture is systemic and sometimes noticeably worse as a guy. Women don't use physical violence to solve conflict. They destroy reputations. My therapist says all the nurses he has all report extremely toxic work environments.
Two examples I saw recently at my HS 1. I was sexually harrassed by another male student, and despite me reporting it to a high ranking staff member, nothing was done to my knowledge. 2. A male classmate was given a mark on his record and a long suspension for a delivering a well deserved insult to another student while a female classmate stabbed a dude three times with a fork and got a three day suspension with no mark on her record.
But you have to remember that women are INSTITUTIONALLY disadvantaged. How awful would it be for you to get away with assault because people thought you were a cute lil lady?
@@ACollectorNotAHoarder You'll have to troll harder to get the negative attention you're looking for from me. Pathetic this is what passes for trolling these days.
@@ACollectorNotAHoarderThis is one of the problems with society though, people assume the female is the victim, and not the aggressor in situations like this. She very well could be the victim, but we don't know from the information given.
@@jjoohhhnn Imagine having a 6 years longer life expectancy due to less work related stress, making up only 7% of workplace fatalities, 4% deaths due to war, 24% of suicides and homicides, 20% of the homeless, having people assume you are the victim when you initiated DV in the majority of cases, having laws that cannot identify you as a perpetrator of r ape, having a 40% higher adoption rate... and thinking you are oppressed
Probably social media driving that. YOU are valuable and important and necessary. Do the things you love and take what you can out of life. No one is going to give it to you, take joy in working and serving others. Understand what you have control over, your own words, actions and intentions. Do good and be happy and satisfied with living a simple, quiet life. I wish the best for you.
You are NOT USELESS. What hurts me the most is the fact that some of us usually attach our worth to finances and other things. What makes you WORTHY is who you ARE. There is no one else like you!
I have an experience here. When I was maybe 11 I went to a restaurant with some friends. The place had a couple arcade machines and I went alone to check them out. A girl about my age was over there and wanted to break a machine’s glass to get the prizes. She said I should do the same, but I didn’t. After she hit the glass several times an alarm went off and a female manager came running over. The girl and I were silent and standing right next to each other. Immediately, the manager accused me of hitting the machine and kicked me out, while the girl laughed at me. There was no evidence that myself or the girl had done anything, except for the alarm. EDIT: Let me clear this up. I’m not trying to say women are unjust and we shouldn’t help them. That isn’t remotely what I’m trying to say. All I am trying to say is that in my personal opinion, a stigma has developed in which many subconsciously may end up thinking by default that it’s a male that committed a crime. I wasn’t trying to start a war about gender, I was just stating an experience that was in fact relevant to the topic. It is because being accused of something you didn’t do solely based on your gender can actually be emotionally damaging and negatively influence a boy’s development. Development in which the video clearly regarded.
Very shitty experience! The insidious quality of old macho masculinity is the effect it has on young boys, put in to boxes by the toxic expextations within patriarchal structure.
@@yout1556 EDIT: There was a major misunderstanding on my part here and I apologize, I will leave the original post because it's still quite important to keep in mind for others. There are many [valid] reasons on why some people might not help someone else in trouble and that's fine. I'll try to give people the benefit of the doubt and ensure that to keep in mind that comments don't have the luxury of things such as tone from now on. That's not the route you should be going for! You don't stop helping others just because a few experiences with that group [whether racial, gender based, or just based on appearance]. What should be happening is support for men as well and have people be more empathetic in general towards situations like assault, discrimination, and other such things. What kind of logic is that? I bet you are the same person who will go "not all men" towards a woman who merely mentioned a bad experience happening to her, despite you generalizing the other gender as well!
I am heartened to see this being said, but I (as a man) have quietly accepted my place in this world. I drive a truck for a living, alone 13 hours a day, and I come home to a spouse and children who are asleep. I really don't speak to my family until the weekend, but that time is spent doing chores and house projects. My partner stays home to watch the kids, so I'm responsible for the income as well. Lonely is a feeling I've grown to embrace, because to feel anything less is depressing; and depression will impact my ability to be useful. I was a high school dropout, and while I avoided drugs and crime, I simply had no metric by which to set my sights on. I have since learned to embrace the 'cog in the machine' mentality, because broken men need purpose and a foundation to rebuild themselves. I may not be needed in society, but someone needs to drive this truck, someone needs to build this kitchen counter, someone needs to teach this child how to do a thing, etc. It is my responsibilities that give me meaning in life. Externally, it can be sad. But at least I have the semblance of control over it, and in that I can find peace in being useful. I would love to speak to young men, to share my life experiences with them. Not to dictate what they should and should not do, but to explain long term consequences of actions made in the present. I was a form of teacher once, and I enjoyed it tremendously, but it wasn't a long term financial option. I hope that things change for men in the future, because a society without them will lead to ruin, but I also believe I've missed the boat and are stuck in limbo- too old to languish in woe, but too young to take pride in what little I've accomplished. I just simply exist, for better or worse, and will try to do as much as I can before heart failure or prostate cancer takes me.
Mr. Bee, don't give up. The purpose of life is to care and from your story it is obvious that you do, figuratively and via your actions, literally. Take pride from that and embrace the happiness, the peace, that comes from knowing you are a giving man. And look for a new job! 13 hours is way too much! Respectfully
If you’re the one bringing home the bacon and your wife is not doing the housework (and otherwise) then it’s time to put your foot down or leave. If you don’t then you have no one to blame for your situation but yourself. Best of luck
First of all, thank you for opening up, and Godspeed to all Truckers for stocking our shelves, supplying our fuel, etc. I work in distribution and get the opportunity to talk to truckers on a semi-regular (no pun intended) basis. There needs to be serious reform with the trucking industry to allow heads-of-household, especially fathers and husbands, to come home to their families on a regular, daily schedule. The way truckers' schedules are set up currently only make sense for those who are single without kids. Something has to give. Second, as a young father to two beautiful children and husband to a wonderful wife who stays home with the kids, don't lose faith! We don't have everything figured out yet, but regardless of how much time we actually get to spend with our kids as they grow, I KNOW that in hindsight they will come to appreciate the fact that their dad tried their best as a hard-working, flawed human being. Lastly, to those who are quick to cast blame, please wait to share an opinion and make calls-to-action until you have a family of your own. Coming from my experience, my wife and I made the mutual decision for me to be the sole breadwinner while she raises the kids and takes care of the home. We can both say confidently that no one is a better caretaker to our kids than their mother. Also, as someone who has filled the shoes watching the kids during the day, it is a full-time, unpaid position in itself. Kids are so hands-on that getting to all of the chores can be more difficult than you think. So please, cut them some slack -- Especially so if said partner is either handicapped or has any pre-existing conditions that would keep them home from working full-time (mine does). I imagine OP loves his family. Please keep doing what you do to take care of your family and be their for them when you can. We need more people like you!
I work in education, and I've seen a lot of primary and infant schools that have only one male member of staff for the entire remaining workforce of women. One could see that they were doing a great job, but I couldn't shake the feeling that they were there to "check a box".
I grew up with a single father and although ive chosen a career ive been thinking about trying to become a teacher. Especially because the male teachers ive had were the most understanding for me and helped the most in my struggles.
Here in Finland we evaluate some children for whether they should start pre-school a year later to have been matured enough (here kids start pre-school at the age of six, in some cases at the age of five). But that's only if the child has noticeable issues compared to their peers. I think similar screening of maturity should be done to the whole population to make sure they're ready to study and learn and get a good start for their education. Also, it's dangerous to stare at the sexes, since we're talking about averages here and deviancies do exist. Rather than let's say, make every boy start the school a year or two later, we should screen every kid regardless of their sex. Some boys may be ready at the age of six, some girls may still not be ready. It's a structural mistake yet again to treat a whole (any) population the same.
Oh boy, your contry is soo much ahead of the other one that is at some points scary haha, i live in Quebec and even here, a Beautiful rich place to live in terms of culture and also money, its impressive how Finland/Netherland/danemark and couple of others country in your side of the world is really Great!!
I agree that it has to be on a case-by-case basis. As a kid in primary school, I was extremely bright in some subjects (not in all) and was already bored and frustrated in my classes. I ended up in a private school where I could progress on my own timeline. If I had been held back an additional year just because I was male, that would have been a genuine disaster for me.
This also is done in Germany! First you get a check up with the doctor and then you have to do some other tests (like draw a house etc.) to test the childs mental capacity. School starts for children at age 6 (some also start at 5). Certain children can also start school at age 7 if they are not mentally developed enough to start school. Tbh i was never aware of this being special and i think this should be done everywhere
@@frankmartel3428 I think my country has done something right, even though there's still a lot to solve. Also, our results at PISA have decreased the last few years, which raises the question if it's due to lockdown or some other factors. However, I wish every country makes their best to serve their citizens. There may be several ways to the happier society, and cultural, historical etc. differences may make it so that what works here, doesn't work somewhere else.
I mean... I agree with almost everything he said, I just think it wouldn't be fair to send the girls to school 1 year more just because the boys are behind. Let's make all children go to school a year later then! I have always thought that kids should enjoy their childhood more. And second, when he said: "And for men in particular this sense of purpose is very important..." 😂 right, because women don't have existential crises or don't reflect on life, or at least we do it less than men apparently just cause we don't commit suicide as much as men? I think he got a bit lost there, I agree with the idea that we should pay more attention to the male suicide rate, for sure! but please...
@@danielaorellana8216 I think he meant that boys should go to school at the age of seven and the girls at the age of six... Not holding the girls in school one year longer. Just there would be 1 year difference between the girls and the boys in the class...
1:55 here in Brazil we also have a 14% gap (57%-43%). Despite free university education many men struggle to pursue it, largely bc they are often expected to work from a young age, sometimes as early as 15 to help support their families. In contrast, young women generally do not face this same pressure. It's rly common to see 15yr boys working to contribute financially to their families, while their 20yr sisters are not held to the same expectation and stays in their home studying. And, upon finishing high school at 18, men face mandatory military service here in brazil, which delays/disrupts their educational progression. With many men working from an early age, they simply lack the time to dedicate themselves to studying as intensely as women can. Often, young women can focus solely on academics until they are like 22 or even 25, without any responsibility, spending all day preparing for university entrance without the same economic pressures. And as men usually work on jobs that pay less and requires strength, besides having no time to study and being too tired to do so, they don't have the financial support to stop the rat wheel and study.
I went to a K-12 all Boys school where everyone starts one year late. Our level of education is far superior to other nearby schools that do not start a year late. The difference is incredible. It truly does help!
The reason why is you might have better teachers, easier tests, private school, better curriculum. I guarantee you if you were put in a normal school, you would be normal
@AB. Not at all. We have tests to compare our education level with other schools. These tests are administered to the entire area, and we've some of the highest scores in the area. We still use the same curriculum as other schools. Starting one year later does help, I lived it myself. I have cousins younger than me that are in the same grade as me, and they struggle. It might not be a big sample, but I'm certain that the year later gap helps!
Something that was mentioned in a video I saw many years ago, was "stop treating boys as dysfunctional girls". This was a call to teachers, saying that it's perfectly normal for boys to get restless in the classroom, and that they need to be allowed those precious minutes of recess to run around and use their energy, rather than get marked down for "being disruptive" when forced to sit down for hours on end.
Seems like the most controversial and poorly though out point in the video is the one about redshirting the boys. Wholeheartedly agree that this would only serve as a type of "band-aid" solution. Maybe there is more merit to gender separation in the classroom or differentiation between types of education for young and adolescent boys and girls than we'd care to admit. Where the two can *mostly* develop according to their biological differences, but also working together on certain topics or classes, before meeting in a unisex college education system or workplace.
@@abebuckingham8198 Sure you can, when one applies a approach which is suitable and doesn't create unwelcome pressure which produces disruptive behavior.
@@ivankatalinic2881 Well you're stuck within the framing of a shitty education model in the first place. There is no reason that a school can't largely be student driven wherein you choose what subject you'll want to do and simply go to an area with support for learning it in the case you get stuck, there is no reason for textbooks not be written in a more self-directed way. There's also no reason to force kids to learn everything, if you've seen adults nearly next to them are about as adept at math as a 3rd/4th grader and just as clueless in nearly all other subjects. For those that need to learn concepts for college and furthering the career that's fine to be behind, as an adult you could learn maths all the way from zero to grade 12 in a year or less if you merely focused and wanted to learn those things. It's frankly downright stupid the way we're currently doing things. Also I'd imagine if you let kids play all the time you'll find rather quickly that they would want some mental stimulation as well, just in the subjects they choose rather than being forced into whatever random shit the teacher decides to through at them.
I hate that as men, we are seen as the enemy, as disposable, as tools to push everyone and everything else forward. Our feelings and our crises are pushed aside and we’re told that it’s harder for everyone else, completely invalidating our feelings which we’ve been ironically told to share an exorbitant amount of times. It’s a frustrating time to be a man, and I can only hope that tomorrows boys can bounce back from the issues that have been laid at their feet.
as a 16 yr old guy still in school, i do get nervous entering the real world after hearing these but knowing I was lucky to be born in a good kind family who will support me keeps me going strong. I cannot imagine those less fortunate in this situation. At the end of the day, we gotta keep pushing through I guess, it sucks and it needs to be spoken about as well. I hope you do well.
I got a hot take but one I feel is engrained in reality: Before the age of feminism and women's rights, men had better social economics. Women had no rights, but conversely, men were expected to take care of his woman. In turn, this woman would take care of the home and man would be held accountable for providing. There was a significant layer of responsibility on the man, for he was the leader of his family. Men had the right to vote and women didn't, but it was more of a privilege, and one that came at the cost of bucket duty, selective service, carrying on well enough in society, risking himself at a job, etc. Men had the weight of the world and their family on his shoulders. Women did not. For protection, for entitlement to his provisions, women were second class citizens. While man took a higher risk in the day to day world to take care of his woman, socially, it was evened out by the woman being under his governance and protection. Now adays, men are still expected to bear the greatest risk in society: Go to war, hold the most dangerous jobs that keep everything working, men are expected to still defend women when threatened, etc. But men also are forced to step aside for women, and to treat them as equals, even though women do not have to go to war, divorce rates are high and courts overwhelmingly side with women to take the purse and the kids, education favors a style that suits women, most women still expect a man to pay on a date, and of course........quota hires and DEI........... It is as though I've borrowed money from my lender, and have told him it isn't fair for me to pay him back because.....oppression..... Modern social economics do not favor men. So many go the way of the beautiful ones from the mouse utopia experiment, only tending to ourselves obsessively with barely a social responsibility to speak of. No family. No social currency. Modern man is poor. Future man is bankrupt.
@@spunkinater You've been given a very odd view of the past. Women always had rights and in many cases, even going back to medieval times and before, women had more rights and fewer responsibilities than men. There may have been some rights afforded to men that women didn't have but there were far fewer than is commonly believed. Men didn't have the right to vote for almost the whole of human history and neither did women. Enfranchisement and participation in the political system of a country was denied to all but a tiny and incredibly privileged minority, and that's been true from the creation of the first political systems up until only a few generations ago. It wasn't sex that made you a second class citizen, it was wealth and class. A large proportion of British men who fought in WW1 (I think it was around 40-50%) didn't have the right to vote for the politicians who had sent them to fight and die in the trenches. It wasn't until 1918 that they were given the vote and it didn't take long after that for the same right to be extended to women in 1926. - many women could vote after 1918 but younger women had to wait until 1926 in the same way that younger men had to wait until 1918. It's not exactly centuries of systematic oppression to wait 8 more years compared to the whole of political history when none of these people could have voted, and by framing the issue in terms of women's rights, it's diverting attention away from the more serious and ongoing issue of how your wealth and class affect every aspect of your life including the rights you effectively enjoy. Another myth is the idea that women didn't work. That might have been true for an upper class or upper-middle class woman with a wealthy husband, but the vast majority of women, whether they were married or not used to work. Sometimes in paid employment, but often self-employed providing services such as repairing clothes, cleaning, cooking, child care, and seasonal work was very common and often involved whole families travelling to the countryside to be labourers when it was time to harvest the crops.
I think the most important point you hit was at home. We live in a society where they are trying to normalize a home without a father. While women say they don't need a man, children need a father in their lives. (And I'm not talking about deadbeat parents; I'm talking about REAL fathers.) Once we help that out, the other problems will slowly start to work themselves out or even disappear.
Alot of women spaces seem to be especially lacking in empathy for men. Mainly due to the idea that patriarchy is created and maintained by ALL men. Similar to how some minorities think ALL white people are the reason for systematic injustices and inequalities. So when someone who has literally never done anything wrong is suffering, they are treated like absolute trash. And especially made to feel like "its YOUR fault youre suffering. Do better."
i always saw an "favouritism" being on women for a while and started think society is hypocritical because they didn't even try maintain a balance on equality
As a woman, I'll say that the last point is probably the largest issue. It is SO, SO important for children to have close, trusting adult role models of their own gender. It's crucial for young girls to have a strong woman to look up to, and it's imperative that young boys have a strong man to look up to. Someone who can influence them in good ways, and enrich their childhoods. EDIT: I'm glad the replies to this comment have sparked such a discussion- I've seen some great conversations here. Lot's to think about. But my god, some of the people I've replied to have holes for brains. So, I'll just explain a few things here: 1. The reason I stated I was a woman is this: we are talking about an issue experienced by men. If I were to speak on a male issue, while not making my gender clear, people may think I was a male- causing misunderstandings. I also believe that, before going into a discussion, it's important to show the point of view at which you view the world. I view male issues from a female perspective, which I thought was important to include. 2. I'm more than happy to have long, drawn out, thought provoking discussions with anyone in these replies. If you want, I can also supply you with statistics- which I have in some of my replies. However, if I am making an argument to you, and you retort by saying I think like a narcissist and that I seem like a psychopath- then it crosses a boundary. Retort to any of my points, but don't insult me in the process. Especially when I have been polite to you. 3. If I make a point explaining an issue women frequently deal with, please don't make your only rebuttal ' But men go through that too! You're ignoring men's issues. ' In no way do I intend to ignore male issues. However, if you claim that ' half of domestic abusers are female ' then I expect statistics. Because my datasets have told me the vast majority of abusers are male. Point is; please don't use male issues as a way to silence female issues. We can advocate for them both, at the same time- nobody, no matter their gender, should be a victim of abuse. 4. Yes, of course it's important for children to have both parents. Regardless of the child's gender- thought that was common sense. My original point was that, if it came down to choosing, then a role model / guardian / parent of the same gender to the child would be the preferred route. Sorry if I didn't convey that clearly.
Please change your comment. It is also important for girls to have BOTH; a father and a mother figure. Not a strong women. Same goes for boys. We are in a transient period where strong man/women are used where their meaning is changing and what they need are good parents. This definition is much more focused. Edit: Sorry if I came across as bully forcing her to change comment. I just wanted her to understand, the first goal should be both parents for kids. I am saying this because, in modern times, having a single mom get custody of kids is not the best solution always. For example, daughter needs dad to be there to show how boys think, or to be dependable. A female role model is good, but in many cases as child grows they find flaws in parents. From their lack of knowledge, or to their habits or personality traits. That is part of growing up, so given chance that a girl is closer to mom to look up to her, or have neutral favorites and consider dad as equally important? I would prefer it latter. It goes other way too. Dads usually spoil their daughters and it is important to have a mom to ground them to realities. Without saying, it goes same for boys. Boys need to learn how to respect a women, how to court a women, and learn responsibilities as man from women's perspective from mothers. TLDR; Role model, a person to look up to, are definitely good thing to have for a child. Especially if it is their own parents. But that is not the best utopia, there is even better one. Having a grounded family. Ideally the family should instill the characteristics of a role model in their child.
While yes, there is a significant chance fatherless boys and motherless girls end up much worse, it would be best that both a positive male and female figure are present during childhood.
@@NC-nc3gs The OPs comment means the same thing. Though the kid needs both father and mother figures, the immediate gender parent will always influence their kid faster than the opposite gender. The father will always understand what his boy means/wants to say while the mother with her girl. A kid will most definitely love both their parents, but only one will be able to understand their specific issues and problems and those advices are what will shape the kid.
This video made me cry. I relate to the back end a lot. I have a great father, but my parents got divorced when I was 6, and although my dad was arguably the most mentally stable of my parents, I ended up staying at my moms. For a long time I would see my dad fairly regularly, then in my teens it became less and less. But in my head, I was still the same little boy who wanted his dad to come pay attention to him. As I continued to age, I realized that as my dad got more invested with his new family, that if I wanted time with him, it had to come from me making the effort to do so. I always wanted him to call me more and I always wished he would come over more, but I didn’t blame him for not doing so because even though my parents remained friends, some of my mom’s tendencies still bothered him and he didn’t like to remain in my house for long periods of time. I’m now 30 years old and I still feel like the little boy who wants his dad to talk to him and come over and ask him how his day was and about all the different things that I’ve been having fun with or struggling with, etc. He’s a phone call away and only a couple miles away physically and yet I’m so tired from my day to day life and so used to not seeing him that most of the time I just leave it be. I always wondered if steering away from him as a teen was what started producing more mental health issues for me. Luckily, I’ve gotten help for all the things that have bothered me over the years and it’s a never ending journey but it really hurt seeing myself at the end of the video and remembering that I used to feel like the useless man who did opioids and contemplated killing himself. I’m glad this video exists and I hope it can inspire change.
It was your comment that's making me cry, please let your father know your feelings. If he is a good man he will make the time you need with him, if he doesn't or can't, for whatever reasons, at least it will help you. It hits me because I have a son, and I believe we are close but, it would kill me to find out he felt like you do and not to know. Take care and I wish you all the best in life.
That’s because they didn’t have any females in this. If they had included a woman, guaranteed she would have ree’d right over what he had to say. Every video that has men and women in it, the women roll over the man when he tries to bring up issues that men are having, even when they aren’t blaming women. Women can’t stand to have any issues other than theirs being heard.
Agreed! I think this is a very important take on men's issues. What I've often seen as the solution for men's struggles is for women to take a step back, allow men to take up the breadwinner/leader role, but I feel this is a regression to past ways of being. As women take on more leadership, science, etc (traditionally masculine roles), the answer isn't to ask them to stop and move backward. The response is for men to lean into/be open to their feminine side and a caretaker role. Definitely not to say that we just swap the gender roles, but as women step into more masculine roles, men should equally step into more feminine roles (like the HEAL careers) and we can find balance. I think the struggle right now is that women are exploring their masculine energy, but men are resistant to exploring their feminine energy. Largely because we've seen feminine traits (caretaker, support, nurturing, etc) as weaker than masculine traits, when in reality they are both needed for society to function.
Also worth taking into consideration is that the norm makes it "cool" for boys to not care too much about studies. Social factors make you unpopular if you prioritize school in front of hanging out, playing games, going to parties, etc. This is of course a major disadvantage. I also find it extremely difficult to talk about problems, experiences and feelings with other men. Those things don't fit the norm either. As a man you're supposed to be strong, independent and have your eyes set at the horizon. There's no room anywhere for the human side of manhood, especially not in mainstream opinion.
Both boys and girls are being primarily raised by other boys and girls, not adults, so their social pressure in school is coming from people who have no clue about life yet.
This. Film and television make it look cool for men to be the "strong and silent" type, to grit their teeth and bear the pain. And even when men show emotion, it's always presented in an unrealistic way like crying "manly tears" or speaking in a way that sounds badass. That's just not how it is in real life. Men have emotions. Men GET emotional. And men don't look badass when they cry. And there's nothing wrong with that. Yet society seems to think there is.
Not just that, but from what I've personally noticed, men don't really care about other men or their problems, which is part of the issue. Men don't form the same kinds of mutually supportive social bonds that women do where they seek and provide emotional comfort from/for each other. For example, say Jim, who's going through a medical crisis, goes out for a drink with Ted and Bob. If Joe starts talking about how he's struggling with the knowledge about his health and feels scared, Ted and Bob are going to tell him to stop being a p*ssy (or some variation), or casually brush him off. They don't want to hear it, and they don't really care about (or are just too uncomfortable with) Jim's personal problems. Either this is immutable and biologically ingrained in men, in which case they're f*cked, or it's just generations of social conditioning, in which case it needs to change.
This isn't a women vs. men issue, this is a society vs. men issue. I feel like I matured just at the time these charges started to develop (I'm 70) and by the time I was a husband and a father, about 1990, I could plainly see that the culture in the US had turned against men. It's both a backlash and an overcompensation. Women clearly were in a lower rung of society when I was born in 1952. The women's movement gave them the chance they deserved and they never looked back. I worked in television and the number of shows, movies and commercials that were being produced showing men as comically inept was staggering. Both genders were responsible for the production of this content. The affect media has on the collective psyche and culture is well documented. Not only were men faced with having to redefine themselves as a gender but they being beaten down and laughed at while trying to reinvent themselves. I don't blame women for this at all, I blame the insidious and unchecked power of traditional media and now social media. One major societal problem was largely addressed only to create a new one.
more like class versus class issues. the people at the top of the socioeconomic ladder tend to dictate how others should live their lives like a bunch of hot-aired philosophers that would make Socrates roll in his grave, and at the same time, said billionaires will never walk the walk and do a bunch of cowardly, selfish things that puts everyone else below the 99% at risk. fascists, noblemen, and people of feudalism will always point out the enemy and the "others" every single era we go through in order to hang onto the human construct of power via wealth and money. hence why we need to tax the rich.
@@walter9243 that's a very disingenuous way of framing the history. obviously women won't be able to contribute as much to society as the "average man" because they simply were not given the same opportunities and expectations. when put in similar deplorable situations, the functional difference between men and women is negligible. throughout history you see women working in coal mines, textile mills, factories, fighting in resistance groups, etc. the only reason we can enjoy the luxuries of a semi liberated society is due to the plenty of "average men" and women who dared to complain about the future set out for them by business magnates and tycoons and the whims of corrupt leaders and high society (which are also, not exclusively male!) -- the senseless wars, horrible working conditions and whatnot which people complained about and fixed by disrupting society (think to Vietnam in the US and the labor movements across the world). what you've illustrated is more a class issue: poor men and women will work hard their whole lives, turning the invisible gears of society for a couple of rich people who will profit off their honest labor. moreover, while there's no purpose in trying to compete in an oppression olympics, I think a decent point could be made that the typical man is oppressed -- which most actual feminists will agree with! (not the loud, annoying """feminists""" that people love to repost on the internet) hence the support for mental health initiatives for males and other such programs. it was never a men vs women issue, but a men and women vs societal culture and norms issue.
@@jamescai3490 no, those feminists are the same, they are sexists, men-haters, and always argue or being passive aggressive. There is no solution for ideologically driven people who are resentful, revengeful and egoistical. What walter says is true.
The education system also rewards feminine work. A heartfelt essay by a girl is graded higher than a creative alien monster story by a boy. More than half the undergrad and graduate scholarships go to women. I knew brilliant men in my MBA that got denied scholarships and a completely lazy girl who got 2 scholarships totalling 40k.
I completely agree with this. I have three sons about whom I worry. I hate the way men are portrayed in the media and I dread the self-loathing and self-harm that sometimes occurs with men (not yet with my three). I want them to feel cherished and valued.
This. I am a young girl, i just turned 18. I can’t help but feel that my brother will never be seen as an amazing human but nothing more than just a “boy” freedom as it is now draws a definitive line between being a woman and a man. It’s the same with race. The more they draw a line the more we will never truly understand each other. There is completely nothing wrong with acknowledging history but what do we do about it? Insult men? Kill all men movement? Is our gender a big part of our human consciousness. Isn’t being human always first before anything else we identify as. We need a balanced relationship not hatred. And i hate to see my young brother to never truly achieve his level of humanity simply because he is just a man. And i think people disregard how huge religion has played in this inequality we face. We don’t need to believe in religion to believe in God.
The worries are larger, but not for boys as much as for society as a whole. This video only presents one side of the coin. Because of these changes, women are suffering at least as much. Large percentages of women between 16 and 45 are on anti-anxiety drugs and anti-depressants. Women are complaining about not finding a "worthy" mate, or a man as successful as they perceive themselves. Others complain men are not interested in marriage or long-term commitments. Wait until they find out what many older men have, that they spent their lives as a human resource. That material things don't replace human relationships as one ages, especially family relationships, children, and grandchildren. In addition, most women aren't enjoying their "wonderful career." They're slaving away at mind-numbing jobs as most men have for the entire industrial revolution. While robots can replace many of the jobs men do, computers and increasingly sophisticated software will replace many of the jobs college-educated women perform. Even with women obtaining more college degrees, men still get more degrees necessary in the information age. If our society, economy, and the skills needed to survive in it change drastically, so will the demand for different types of skills and jobs. Women are obtaining the majority of law degrees and there is a glut of lawyers. What if all of the sudden we didn't need half the lawyers we do now? Drafting women into the military is being discussed more seriously than ever before. Those men who are being pushed aside are less willing to accept the inequality of the military draft. They might all of the sudden be fine with the acceptance of lowering the bar for women to enter the military and even the infantry.
@@iikii5903 women are treated worse than men just because of their gender. I am 19 and the boys make sexist comments. The whole internet is filled with men making disgusting comments and jokes on women. Let's not pretend men aren't portraying women as bad. Look around yourself and you will see how much misogyny there is.
@@wayln2591 i never disrespected our rights as women by what i said. I think it’s within our rights to fight for equality. But you say that as if all men are like that. I don’t know what country you’re living in so i can’t speak about your experience but i live in a third world country and i have men in my life that are utterly disrespectful and misogynistic but i also have men in my life that are very kind. I won’t lie and say that men are innocent but that doesn’t make me blind sided about the men that are good. I refuse to generalize them. Because at the end of it the same number of shitty men in my life is equivalent to all the women that treated me like shit too. Within 100 years when we have we have taught young boys to respect women should they be viewed as horrible? Should we teach young kids this ideology to be scared of men when young boys will grow up in the same timeline young girls grew up. That’s why i said what i said. I never hated on our rights as women. I just spoke about my 12 year old brothers rights as a boy too. I don’t want him to grow up being bullied about his height or him experiencing this hate all men. And he is the sweetest boy ever. ALL kids are victims of OUR mistakes. Regardless of their gender. I’m not saying that men are innocent I’m saying that in some aspects our response to the situation is wrong. Like how you responded to my comment. I don’t know how you’re response was to compare our struggles in this society to individual young and innocent kids (regardless of gender) to OUR mistakes. It was never my point at all.
It is refreshing to hear these concerns outlined in a way that does not pit gender issues against each other. I feel like often these issues get disregarded because either they are mixed in with sentiment that opposes feminism, or they are wrongfully assumed to be misogynistic by association through the idea that men are somehow the ones truly worse off when in reality it is not a competition.
@@dididogster9994 nasty from both sexes. The loudest and most divisive among us can't resist driving a wedge into a discussion to inflate their own egos.
Zero sum gender battles are wildly pointless if you have a shared humanity and a shared project (society). But he seemingly stresses some kind of gender differences and is adopting an approach (and ethic) of cooperation/compromise. The proposition of patriarchy was that you could build a society in a zero-sum way with very limited compromises by incurring a (grave) moral cost. So for me, the starting point has to get to the core: why should women compromise an iota relative to a solution that could serve them more? For instance, when he says boys might be advantaged by being held back a year, you might need an ethical rationale when met with the question "Are the girls served by having the boys there at all?"
I think redshirting the boys, or delaying them a year, would be a sidegrade at best. Many education professionals such as Sal Khan advocate for students getting education levels based on skills level, not age. While holding boys back a year may on average help boys, a more adaptive approach would be better. It may even push boys back to be held back a year, as there are many examples of expectations leading to changes in performance. The implication that young boys are dumber on average to the point where they are a year behind can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yes, there should be systems that help nurture boys in light of biological differences, but we need to be careful of accidentally signaling to boys they're dumb, or inferior, in the education system.
I think redshirting boys is not a good solution because many people don't understand that boys don't grow up the same way and they will be stigmatized even more for it. Our fathers were educated in separate boys' schools from girls, they were educated appropriately in the way they needed to be, only to catch up to girls as their physiology evolved, but by saying that, it's understood as a step backwards by many people.
We could study this by comparing children born just after the start of the school year and those born just before the next one, as every class will have children up to a year apart in age. Does an early experience of trying to keep up with older children have a long term effect? If so, in what direction? Does it affect boys or girls more? Does it happen in single sex classrooms?
Plus we don't have enough data if this is purely because boys aren't as developed yet or if it is due to social circumstances. If boys are held back due to less opportunities and motivation or even teachers that discriminate against boys. I skipped several classes when I was younger and the idea of redshirting boys sounds counterproductive to me, in might even favour girls more as boys would be less socialised earlier.
Thank you for opening up this topic in an unbiased way with facts to back up your arguments! Toxic gender roles still exist everywhere, upheld by both genders as I frequently hear stuff like 'women shouldn't do business, STEM, or work in construction' or 'Men shouldn't cry, do chores' or 'men are not good at caring'. With an aging population, we should indeed promote men to work in health and education industries. In my opnion, the biggest issue men are facing now is lonliness. If men engage in skinship like women do, some would shout at them for being 'gay', and they often think that it's a weakness to share their problems and struggles on a daily basis. The only argument I disagree with you is the point about boys starting schools one year later. Making boys join the system later when they're 'considered to be mentally behind' is the same reasoning why men in the past forbid women to do anything, because women were 'hysterical' or 'too emotional'. For centuries, most academic institues around the world were created by and for men. Girls also experience a huge drop in self-confidence (something like 30%) from age 12 that boys don't, so does that mean girls and boys should go to differen't classes? Kids already gender toys and acitivies into 'girls' vs 'boys' so early that if you separate boys from the school, it would further make them see academia as a 'girls' thing. I think apprenticeship in school is great not just for boys but girls too. I don't recall you showing the percentage of men in STEM, which is probably still male-dominated. If we really want to break toxic gender roles, we should have both genders doing them.
As a woman i really appreciate the author bringing light to men's issues without turning down women. We won't get any progress if we beat each other down, we need to rise together!
Is this a functioning human being on the internet? IMPOSSIBLE!!! (what you said is very true people tend to say they understand but twist it back anyway)
As a general rule, the men's rights movement is very positive towards women and equally opposed to both misogyny and misandry. For this reason, I am always amazed that it gets labelled as right-wing hate, in complete contradiction to the reality of the movement and its goals.
@@paulcoldrey3387 Not true. Unfortunately most self-proclaimed men's rights activists are just anti-feminists. True feminism and true men's right activism has lot of overlap, however isn't controversial enough for fraudsters to make money with it.
"Boys should start school 1 years later". Wow! I started school 1 year earlier. And the fact that he explains about how boys are at a disadvantage because their later brain development is SOOOO relatable for me. I started 1st class when I was 6 (while others started at 7), and all these problems he said happened to me, + I was a target for bullies because I was always the youngest in the class.
Wow that’s shocking to me, I started 3 years earlier than normal, and I was looked up to as a role model. Different environment, different people i guess?
I started at 4, never had any issues. In fact, I felt stifled by the repetitive curriculum...this would be a disservice to people like me. His generalization that all men feel this way is so wrong.
@@matthewadams5476 He’s not saying that all men feel this way, he is saying that the data and numbers show that, on average, men are at a disadvantage in the education system than women. There will always be outliers of course, you might have been one of them, but that still doesn’t take away from the main point.
Started 1st class at 6. While in highschool didn’t care about my GPA nor my exams until few years after grad. If only I could’ve gone to school a few years later, it would make a major difference in my case. Now I’m falling behind as time comes by and this is what drags me down the hole of depression.
Powerful and to the point. Especially when it comes to fathers and sons, I’ve realised recently that I have no clear idea how to be a good father, while my elder child is turning 7 soon. Losing my father to divorce at the same age as my child now, left me with no role-model of a father, despite my dear brother and Mom trying to fill the gap. I can’t even imagine how many men are struggling to build and maintain their families to break this vicious circle of fatherless society.
Life is an imperfect balancing game. You can’t do everything perfect. You have to make tough choices; choices where there is no good answer. It’s hard to stop thinking about life and handling problems from a female perspective in a feminized society. Being a man is about being a good human, being a grown-up who can handle today and use wisdoms to see and prepare for the future. It’s about taking appropriate care of yourself so you can take care of others too, it’s about building life and health step by step. It’s about making choices that matter and being responsible for the outcomes. It’s about making your children powerful physically and emotionally. It’s about setting your children up for success by modeling and teaching principals of success. It’s about being a powerful person who is restrained instead of weak and passive. It’s about not tolerating abuse, but also not running away. You might know all these things, but I have to work on them. Most of all you have to live fully and be grateful for all that life brings. If you find the opportunity in every bad situation, be grateful, and keep moving forward, then you are never a victim no matter the hell some person or situation puts you through; strategic response and finding the silver lining in every situation is the path forward. You won’t be a perfect dad, none are. Your kids will go through their own struggles and suffer from their own decisions. Hopefully they will learn from them. A woman has a tendency to cover and excuse; A male energy is accountability and pushing through. All humans need both. We need an internal mother and father. We need to be kind to ourselves as we reach our limits, then we need to push ourselves out again to expand on every level. Slowly we become wiser and stronger. Victim mentality has become a sick religion as well as popular nonsense thinking. The vast majority of young adults seem to live in a complete fantasy world of childish delusion. Jordan Peterson really brought God to life for me in some new ways, seeing the Bible through a psychological lens. Many stories about human nature are powerful guides. The manosphere has some real truths when it comes to the sexual nature of men and women. It has important lessons about sex and attraction. Life requires both to succeed. We can’t just be warm and loving with our partners, but we must also be attractive lovers too. Men can be good without being naive. Good luck on your fathering journey!
Yup, exactly. I have seen this same pattern over and over as a 26 year high school teacher. I watch as more and more boys are raised by divorces single women. The reason? No more Christ. He taught us all the right way to live and lead. Now, we have feminism hating real men, LGBTQ hating real men, etc and we are in conflict with our natural desire to lead vs these groups using the government to bully men into submission and becoming something unnatural.
I also lost my father to divorce around 7, but I'm a few years ahead with my son now 15. He is doing exceptionally well at life, a national leader in his field which is difficult to guide correctly in particular since he is so frequently traveling the world. This leaves me with the role of being as effective and influential as I can be in the shortest time periods possible. My approach has to be dial everything up. When he is back we work out in the gym together every second day, no question. These are not light workouts, they are the toughest he faces and he has the benefit of trained fitness coaches. When we talk he knows that every subject is an iceberg and that dad is just giving the highlights. IN these talks I often cover "Why things are as they are" which often boils down to psychology arising from evolutionary biology and in particular approaches that help him deal with people and problem situations. While I draw on some of the worlds best for my own learning he is always left with the impression that he just got the overview and can come back to it at any point. Critically, I'm not just a source of good advice and hard workouts, but I live the life. I feel that this is the most important factor. What my son sees is that I live my life to my own principles and that I ultimately backstop all responsibility in the family and that responsibility is a form of identity. In short, the first step to being a good dad, is not really to 'try and be a good dad', the first step is to be a person worthy of him wanting to be like, 'being a good dad' then is merely how to share with him a trail that leads where you went that he can choose to follow. He won't follow you all the way because he will be his own man, but, if you are a solid male and you pointing him roughly in that direction with the knowledge that you will always have more answers that you have already given the rock solid knowledge gives him the comfort to do the same thing you did in the same way you did it. This is counterintuitive part. For him to be great, he has to do some of the parts entirely himself by NOT following you. The goal is to get him to the point of not needing you but somehow achieving the same independence you have with the least trauma along the way, not to get there without an challenge at all. Try this approach above, and I think you and he will be ok. Be sure in your mind though, you have to be at the centre of you. Doing this to be a good dad is never work o a goal, it's more like the excess from an overflowing cup. Don't 'try' do be a good dad and do things 'for' him, enjoy time with him. Be a good person first, be an example of something he would like to be. If you have absolutely no idea of what the hell you are doing there is a list on the internet called "Manning 101" Go find that. Tick off everything on the list, as you get towards the end you won't care about the list as you'll know exactly what you want the ending to look like. Start with weightlifting, which years from now you son will ask to be a part of. Lastly, an important part of fathering is to give you boy the space to fail with dire consequence, but, the space to fail and suffer. There is no greater teacher in life than failure and modern society absolutely fails boys by attempting to keep them so safe they fail to find any meaningful failure and are unequipped to know that failure is the best tool you have to find success. Success without substantial failures teachings you knowing about how you got there. Easy success is worthless. 1 success in 5 makes that 1 so much sweeter than non stop winning. Best of luck.
I think relying on rolemodels is what's wrong with the world. If we keep mimicking older generations then there is no improvement. Being a good father is really hard. Much harder than being a mother, as children have a much stronger affection towards their mother. I wish you luck and patience on figuring out your everyday father-dilemmas.
@@nathanielacton3768 "responsibility is a form of identity" I think that is one of the best fatherly value that one can impart to their children. You sounds like a great father, man, and a great guy in general!
Im very happy to watch this video and see that im not alone in this. For the longest time I haven’t been able to form real connections with people, usually i get deemed as annoying or just a third wheel, Im the person in a group thats just THERE but never really speaks because I know they will just ignore me entirely. Sometimes I wish to stay in my bed indefinitely, not having to deal with the reality of my empty life. But I continue to move on, since I know things will get better, hopefully.
I'm absolutely flabbergasted finding this, and extremely grateful. I have been saying for some time now, that men are struggling too, and we all need to find a way to work together. We have been living in a world that is broken in many ways. We really MUST find a way forward in unity. Love, light, peace and healing to all who need it ✨
I was a teacher assistant in my early 20 and my first week a young girl ran up to me and put her arms around me to hug me and I picked her up so her arms were in a more appropriate place (instead of just ripping her off me) and then immediately put her down and said hi! Now go back to your seat. Later in the day a female teacher said I was being sexually inappropriate. I quit that day.
Completely understandable. As a 21 year old man. I avoid children at all cost. Not because I'm a bad person or anything. But because in modern society our entier life can be destroyed simply because a person will see a grown man near a child and automaticly assume the worst. One accusation later and your life gets flushed down drain.
@@theonlineanimal6009 I'm actually alarmed when I am in a situation with a child or a woman, like if I'm next to one on an airplane. Nothing against kids or women but the risks are too high and men would always be presumed guilty.
Aye… bingo! have one instance of being blindsided by an antagonistic misjudgment in this regard, there is no contribution to society worth the risk after that shock
This video resonated with me on a profound level. Alot of the issues being discussed here caused me to check out so many times during my own personal development. It caused me to become very isolated and detached from most social aspects of life. The upside to this is that it caused me to decide to take my development into my own hands, which in some ways curtailed me but thankfully I have strong support system and my desire to grow continues to motivate me daily. Although this video advocates for men, these issues should be seen as human issues. We should all be open to understanding these issues, working to improve upon them and supporting people of both genders. Our egos should take a back seat to allow for us to be vulnerable enough to aid one another in the complexities that existence presents to us as human beings.
Wow everything you said touched my heart, as a woman I feel like men are being diminished in society in many ways. But men are human also and they go through a lot in life, from childhood through adulthood and the things they go through are dismissed by many people. I'm sorry you went through what you went through but I'm glad you've made personal progress. Kudos to you👍😃
The high school I went to had an equal gender ratio, however, pretty much every award given at graduation was given to a girl. We also had a voting system on who we wanted to be valedictorian, (yes, it’s a weird format) and every candidate was a girl. I believe that this gender gap was caused in part by the low development in boy’s brains in teenage hood compared to girl’s brains, as stated in the video. It was obvious that the boys never really cared all that much about their education, while the girls were joining clubs, leading the student body, and being very diligent with their academics. On top of this, there were programs at our school which supported women in education, so it just stockpiled into a huge head start for many girls in their early life, while the boys were being left in the dust. I do agree with the notion against picking a side. This isn’t a gender war. I noticed that in my school, boys and girls had this sort of social divide between them, and it caused a silent anger between both sides that would only be revealed during debates in class. We need to be on the side of humanity, not only on the side of whatever social structures we belong to.
I remember being homeless at 17, having finally been old enough to leave my abusive home but still working my job at the coffee house. No one knew I was homeless except the cops that harassed me, ticketing me over and over for sleeping in my car, eating up my paychecks with fines until I couldn't pay anymore, at which point they put you on probation and draw out even more fines.
Zero criminal record, drug-free, holding down a job, and just trying to make ends meet... It didn't matter. I was trash to be chased down by the cops. There was no help for young men. Only women's shelters. Only women's assistance. Only women's free college, etc. Your pride and sense of masculinity keeps you waiting to ask for help until you're so hungry, you can feel it up your stomach and in your throat. Then you finally seek assistance and everyone looks at you in disgust because hey, you're a man in the patriarchy right? How dare you ask for help! Then you stew in your emotions, having traded what little bit of self-respect you have left for nothing more than a horrifying reinforcement of what you already feared; you're worthless not just to the people in your life but to society as a whole.
It wasn't until my probation officer came to arrest me for not showing up and found me half dead in a hospital bed with blood clots and walking pneumonia from sleeping in my car that someone took pity on me and got me out of the never ending spiral of fines for just trying to live my life. Even then, that was only after the officer tried to drag me out of bed and caused a scene with the doctors and nurses. Again, I had zero criminal record (beyond tickets for being homeless), was drug-free, and was working full time. I wasn't a leech or a danger. I was a young man on his own trying to get by and that seemed to be unacceptable for whatever reason. Thank god I made it out. A lot of young men never do.
Painfull story. Glad you bulled through.
Honestly, police that harass homeless need to be put on a community list.
Im so sorry to hear that. I feel like the dialogue for men's importance in society has been diminished in the last 15 years and it is very heartbreaking. We must respect ALL people and leave no one behind.
Sadly, it is the CONservative, 'evangelical' white males that have set up this harassment of the less fortunate, with the backing of their women😢
I still think the power struggle against each other is the wealthy playing us😱
Wow. You are strong...
The number of male therapists decreasing while the number of men needing therapy increases is worrying to think about.
Men don't want to be therapists because the field is full of leftists who are constantly attacking men
Then women give us advice that only help women.
@@BucketExperience Come to think of it I've never had a guy mention that he wants to be a psychologist or be in that field. Maybe men feel like that career path for them would be too hard to get into? I'm not sure but it would greatly help the mental illness crisis if we had more male therapists.
Men shouldn't go to therapy it is just a waste of money anyway. go to the gym & we should spend time with like-minded Men.
@lydiahiksan1232 why shouldn't men go to therapy?
We can foster a better model of masculinity without diminishing the undeniable gains of feminism. We all do better when we all do better.
Thank you for this comment.
Agreed. Maybe make this the moral of gender equalitarianism, if that’s peoples goal.
Exactly. Men and women should flourish, support and respect each other, neither has to get the short end of the stick.
I'd be happy if we stopped telling young men that they are the root of all evil. We decided it wasn't healthy to tell girls that.
No buddy just commit to something. Don't say do better. Give a real, substantive solution.
I believe the reason I am very passionate as a woman to talk about prejudices and literal discrimination against men comes from the fact that in between my father and my mother, it was my father that remained patient with me, encouraged me into education, taught me job experience, and gave me life advice. My father, the man that reflected how men are to me as a whole, was very kind and calm. However, because my mother had mental issues and consistenly sparked and screamed at any inconvenience, especially an inconvenience that my poor father made, it was also most easiest for me to connect with my father out of fear of my mother. I have seen my mother verbally attack my father and degrade him, and he takes it with silence and submission. It was my mother that eventually left for a long while, not my father, even though it was he who was being wronged here. He kept strong for our family, and made me smile, and taught me everything important I need to know. I do love my mother, but I wish she had gotten therapy, because no man should have to be told to "shut up and listen to the wife" because "she had all your children, goes though periods, menopause, etc."
I think women are always given an excuse to abuse their husbands because of just that. I see so many videos where women are constantly reprimanding their poor misunderstood husbands online, and people just willy nilly go at these men without knowing the actual situation. I have seen the actual situation, and a lot of these women that publically shame their husbands are not talking about the whole story that goes on. People ignore the fact that women abuse their husbands because society thinks they apparently have the right to. You give birth to three kids, have a period every month, and go through menopause, and suddenly it's completely normal to abuse your husband because all that lovely womanly things messes with your hormones and, oh, you had it hard, so you can scream and hit all you want. It's your husband that has to understand. Hell no. Your husband is still human, and he can't always be expected to keep up with a wife that is constantly screaming at him. You don't get an excuse to degrade your husband because you're "on your period" or something like that. Guess what? I'm a woman, too, and I get periods and I get hormonal, but I never use that as an excuse to harm someone, I'll never harm someone in general. If I feel like I need to harm someone, I'd seek help, because that becomes a mental issue at this point. We should encourage women to go to therapy for these issues instead of telling the men to "get over it" and be treated as a punching bag. In that case, maybe my mother wouldn't automatically assume it was right to hurt my father like this and would actually go to her doctor for once. It's my fear that I would be like her, and I have started to protect my father now that I'm older.
Therefore, seeing the implications of wrongful doings to men in my own home, I think it hits hard personally to see other men being left completely unjustifed. It makes me incredibly indignant because I have already seen it with my father, and I know what it looks like behind the scenes between a relationship between an abusive woman and a man, and the bias that goes towards the women.
I'm a male myself and I've been drowned into radical feminists ideas. I know it's not true but it already stuck to my head to the point that I feel guilty of my own gender, probably because I always see that men are often the cause of a problem or a crime. It felt like it keeps on constantly telling me how men are the troublemakers, the criminals, the abusers. And it somehow made me feel worse as a man myself.
But your story sparked something in my head. Idk if I'm that put away and under-the-rock but I don't even know wife abuser exist lol. It changed and challenged my gender insecurity because the media keeps telling me how my gender is source of the mess this world has created. But it's not always the case, right?
At the end I just want to say thank you. For showing something that's not widely known or even be hooked up by the media. Thanks for enlightening me. I need to start working on getting rid of this destructive thinking lmao.
@@MawCookiesyeah man, don't trust the media to tell you the truth, in any way. They are all biased and use the statistics however they want to show whatever narrative they see fit. And what you mentioned has already long turned into a political thing as well.
I am sorry for what both of you have been through, you and the original poster. Hopefully you'll have better experiences now. Do not degrade yourself because you are not inherently bad. You are who you choose to be.
Thanks for opening up and sharing your story 🙏🏼 It takes a lot of maturity to understand how the opposite gender feels about these topics. Your words are an inspiration for other women and for men to listen to how women feel.
Indeed what you say is very true but is never spoken about as it does not fit the feminist agenda that has been wreaking havoc in so many ways for so long i was a union boss for the binmen of Birmingham city council due to the deluded resentful ideology of feminist doctrines hard-working men had to suffer huge financial losses and detrimental changes to their working conditions which were deemed sexist practices and due to the huge financial cost in settling claims and huge payouts to most;y women Birmingham city council is now bankrupt and all this was caused by resentful feminist claiming that binmen were operating a sexist service absolute nonsense but such is the power and influence of feminist in government that men have been so unjustly demonized so unfairly and this is a relentless attack on men and it is now in full throttle, especially with so many feminists in the new labor government that are bringing in new laws to attack men with bogus trivial nonsense and they never want to talk about the toxic destructive behavior and the violence that women commit on their own children and i can cite some horrific crimes Louis Porton Theresa May Mona Nelson and i can cite many others yet never a word about the danger of women pose to their own children and others and yes women have gotten away with murder based on hormonal excuses and have them dropped to far lesser charges and women forget that how many untold men have sacrificed themselves on sinking ships so their women can live how feminist would want to practice that sexist policy any how it is refreshing to have a woman like yourself to see the other side of women that is never spoken about!
Had a similar childhood experience, thank you for sharing
One major issue with men in teaching professions, particularly around young children is the stigma around it. As a man, you can't get too friendly around children or you risk being branded a pedophile. I've seen this with my mother. We had a very nice old guy who loved children who worked at the cross walk. One day he saw that my sister's backpack was all beaten up and falling apart so he offered to help get her a new one. My mom immediately assumed ill intentions and called the school to get him fired.
Imagine if we replaced that nice old man with a nice old lady. My mother, and most other parents would be singing her priases about how she went above and beyond with a single act of kindness.
It's sad really. Personally, I go out of my way to avoid children. I refuse to work in any job that puts me around children, because once you have that label on you, you're screwed. I reckon it's the same for other men as well.
Exactly! There is a double standard now thanks to all the real pedophiles that are out there. The truth is that adult women are capable of being pedophiles as well. It’s just sad all around.
If it was my mother, I would disown her on the spot , period
agree... i want to be a teacher actually, beside that i love children but that stigma make me forget that dream...
This is Soo true. Nearly every male teacher in my school are called pedophiles while very few of the women get called so
Our history and still our present explains why men are viewed in such light!
So many kids especially GIRLS AND WOMEN are sexulize,abused and harassed in schools and educational institutions by MEN!
It stays true till date.
As a "younger" male person who graduated high school relatively recently, I can't tell you how much I appreciated my male teachers (shop teachers, and one english teacher). They taught me a lot about being a man by just acting as a role model around the classroom and showing how to properly deal with stressful situations and what not.
Happy for you! I'm in a similar position. For me, having a strong group of supportive male and female friends since high school kind of helped me to empathise with all sides and become less awkward/critical of girls than a lot of my male friends.
Yeah I graduated back in 2008 and I still remember the male teachers infinitely more than I remember the female teachers. The ones that I had in high school ranged the gamut from absolute geniuses to current felons, but all of them were insanely interesting. The female teachers I've had through my entire educational career barely understood the information they were teaching and many of them understood the material so poorly that it was actually being taught incorrectly. There was no male teacher that I had that didn't understand the material so deeply that they could and would often go above and beyond to teach extra information to expand the context so that their students actually and truly understood the material as well instead of teaching to the test.
I had a particularly bad set of female professors in college one of which forced all of the males with the exception of me and one other guy out of her class through her completely disrespectful way of speaking to us; by the end of the semester I was the only one showing up to the class the other guy just turned in the work. The other massive failure of a female teacher that I had did not understand foundations level gestault principle and when I questioned (having already gotten an AAS in graphic design at this point) the specifics of one of her teachings of one of the principles she proceeded to kick me out of class, demand that I go see the dean of the art school, and made the remainder of my semester very difficult. When I did actually meet the dean of the fine arts school he told me that yes I was correct but I needed to learn the material the way she was teaching it, the wrong way. It's a nightmare right now.
I really need to go back to school and get a degree in psych, but the probability of having to deal with female professors makes the prospect impossible to make a reality in my mind.
same
I'm a woman and I had a huge appreciation for my male teachers. Luckily at my school there was a pretty good balance. I think they were important to me cause I only had one man in my nuclear family (dad) and we had a strained relationship
Plus I just liked seeing a perspective and attitude different from my own
LIFT
DO PULL UPS
I'm a male teacher, in middle school. At the start of my career I interviewed for 12-15 elementary school positions, and was rejected by every single one of them. I earnestly tried to teach elementary, but I just couldn't get in. I was just starting out, so one could argue that my inexperience cost me. But once I started interviewing for middle school positions, multiple schools promptly offered me a spot. I truly do believe my being male played a role in this.
I think it might have been because at my elementary school the only male teachers were about to retire and all the younger teachers were female.
really? i thought that elementary school teachers are supposed to be basically teaching basics in all subjects, while starting from middle school (year 5), we get all kinds of teachers - one teacher for each subject.
that might have played a role (a certain specialization or a lack there of, that is). at least in my country, your gender would not matter.
idk how it's done in america tho.
I think so too- at my elementary school there were NO male teachers whatsoever. As a child I thought it was a job only woman were allowed to have or something- I think the reason is that (this was proven in many studies) in general people tend to see men as more qualified for leading positions and woman as more caring (tho this effect can technically be reversed for example a men dressing more feminine by society standards will usually be assumed more caring then a woman dressing more masculine by society standards. So its not only the actual gender, its also clothes and some parts of looks like hairstyle and stuff)
I didn’t have a male teacher until 8th grade. 1966. Men taught at university, and science subjects in high school. Women had elementary grades, and “soft courses” in high school.
male teachers are more likey to take advantage of female students. how are you guys not realizing this is the issue?
It is scary and unfortunate that MRM doesn't receive as much positive attention as feminism. The entire fem movement and its 4th wave must be diminished greatly to establish egalitarianism.
It’s not necessary to diminish women for men to succeed.
@csherman47 That’s not what he said. Maybe if your movement included reading comprehension you would have understood that. He said the movement and its quest for superiority masquerading as “equality” needs to be diminished.
@ that is exactly what he said. “The fem movement must be dimininished. . .” Check your own comprehension skills. Women and men can exist together if both are equal and accept each other as such.
@@csherman47His opinion is about diminishing the 'Fem movement' and not the entire Female population
@@dynamic75 We need equity. Equality is not really possible in this unequal world
As a young black man I am glad to see this topic being discussed in this way.
I lost my little brother to suicide about 5 years ago and one thing that was evident is that he felt strangled by the pressures of society at just 16.
More discussions need to be had about what it means to be a man in this time. It is tough trying to be an upstanding man when the level of expectation is unrealistic and does not match the reality of roles and responsibilities being played out in society.
It is also tough to prosper as a man when major industries that promote sedentary behavior (gaming and television) and illegal drugs are exploiting media outlets to numb men into a malaise.
I don’t have the answers, but the fact that this dialogue is beginning is a good sign.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss and thank you for your testimony.
I'm sorry about your loss man
@@bluestreak6532 blacks literally weren't allowed to attend any higher education at all like 50 years ago. Ignorance always has a big mouth, kid.
Male preschool teacher here- I’m so thankful for the information and tact presented here. It’s a touchy subject because humans tend to choose “one side or the other” and thus miss out on important truths such as those gathered in research for this segment.
I have that much more pride in doing what I do after watching- thank you
@@JupiterThunder Not entriely true but it is preferable to have a female as it a female dominated industry.
@@JupiterThunder
Statistics?
Agreed. I teach middle school. As a female, there is only so much I can do to provide an example and compassion for those boys. I wish we had more good male teachers! Thank you so much for your work.
Humans don't tend to choose one side or the other, it's the media dividing people so they get more clicks.
On the other hand, the rich know this and they cooperate a lot, they don't choose one side, they try to choose every side.
It's refreshing to hear someone intelligent speak on male issues without discarding the inequality faced by women. I want an equal society for everyone.
There's no equality in society mate
Can you name where women are facing inequality today in western society's? (Serious question)
@ra933 Oh sorry if you got me wrong there I didn’t mean to say it in regards of women but as a whole
@@v3rm1n no worries my friend I got you, the question was not for you but for the OP ❤️
@@ra933 🫶🏼
As a former male teacher, do NOT go into that field. Any interaction you make, you’re accused of being a predator. Further, you’re always expected to break up any fights, but you also can’t discipline your students or you’re being unfair. Please do yourself a favor and stay away.
I used to do work at a after school program in college, working with 4 and 5 year olds. Every year, EVERY YEAR, there would be at least 1 mother who would make a fuss about their child being under my supervision or in my group just because I was a man. In one woman's words "I was a predator waiting to happen". I had an interest in being a teacher before, not anymore after those years of experience.
depends on the country and the culture I would think no? maybe it's that way in the US but it's fine in Scandinavian countries?
I would agree. In Canada (in my experience), it also seemed to be fine. Male and female teachers were both beloved unless they were just heavily strict, but even then they weren’t hated or accused or anything.
@@playz8538 Ironic that it’s fine in countries some of us see as “far left”.
@@nephyryx5618 My original comment seems to be gone. But I am in Canada, and I worked an after school program as a guy. I was accused every season by some new mom thinking I was gonna do something. It's not a good field for men.
“It’s often seen as ‘who’s side are you on,’ instead of being on the side of human flourishing”
It’s so refreshing to see this issue given its own space to be discussed, instead of being weaponized as a bad faith rebuttal against women’s issues.
Society need to talk about this, and we need to do it in solidarity with women and feminism, as opposed to in contrast to it
Modern feminism is not on the side of women. It pushes women into the workforce and significantly downplays the importance and life satisfaction most women have from motherhood.
@@benb3500 women are equipped to decide for themselves where they derive their importance and life satisfaction
@@remirussin7240 Not really. From school it is being expected that they have to join the workforce and they are being completely under-equipped for motherhood. There is a reality that most (not all) women derive life satisfaction from motherhood not career. Yet society is trying to get them into the workforce. It's damaging not just for the women, but society also. Since career only satisfys women for a short time, then when the motherhood clock chimes and they realise the emptiness in career over children. Leads to resentful women that are not focused on their job as a man would be.
@@benb3500 same thing can be said about men. In reality, parenthood for both men and women is one of the most life fulfilling experiences. You’ll get those exceptions in both genders. People in the west seem to be more concerned with hedonism rather than long term relationships and making sacrifices for loved ones.
@@Banana-eb8qr Absolutely. Look how we structure and promote hedonism into society. 18th birthdays more often than not are expected to be a drunken boozefest. Bachalor parties before the wedding likewise. Its almost getting to the point where marriages that last are in the minority. There is no pressure on men to stay married, used to be heavy stigmas attached to deadbeat dads. Womens expectations of men are also unreal, and visa versa.
I cannot understate how much I appreciate complex controversial topics being spoken about in such an intelligent and respectful manner.
Edit to Add: I realize there’s a grammatical error or two in this post. And I don’t care. I think most folks know what I meant.
I’m human. So are you.
I will not edit this mistake.
True. So much today is written just to keep the idiots plasid. Drives me crazy.
I miss college for that
He's speaking of women being in education as if it was actually a good thing. Women are the ones that want to coddle and infantilize everybody into the infants they never had. They are the ones promoting all of this 9 year olds getting "gender affirmation" surgery, feminist indoctrination, and so on. The Zoomers never had a chance, and that was because they were raised by single mothers and "educated" by women.
Exactly, it’s hard to find videos on topics like this that aren’t just one-sided and dissing the other side. Such a breath of fresh air.
I don't appreciate so much being left out of the analysis. The biggest driver of any inequality in the US, whether it be a gender gap or otherwise is the sociopathic greed of the 1% neoliberal policies of redistribution of resources from the masses to their control for profit. No one from the Brookings Institute will focus on that part of the equation, that's for damn sure.
My Dad is a retired teacher. He is medically retired now (60 yo). Every student liked him a lot. As an plastic art/drawing teacher he got to teach 6 to 14 year old boys and girls. He was so successful that everywhere I go in the town with him, every student comes to greet him with a big smile. He's never had a problem with a student (and I was his student for a year, and was on the same school for 9 years). The statues of the school, the agricultural projects such as tree planting and harvesting, the wood works, recyclable material works, drawing etc. ended when he got terribly sick. When he got weak from cancer, instead of having support, the jealousy of his women colleagues made his life very hard at work. With critics about him not following the government program and other crap. The doctors said he had to retire. After he did all these activities ended. No more clay works, wood works, recyclable works, the schools trees withered and it was a mess so bad that the school contacted him to come back. He did not. With a mental degenerative disease he is now living off agriculture with us. All in all, men teachers can offer boys some skills they might need growing up.
U father is a great man
From my experience, the majority of male teachers have always been appreciated by the students, boys and girls. Some of the best teachers that I had were men. Men can be so good in taking care of others not as bread brigners, but in the kitchen (my brother cooks so well!) My brother in law is sewing dresses for his 2 daughters and he is very good at it. Men have a different approach and it completes the picture. The best psychologists that I've been dealing with were men, much less judgemental... even the gynecologist I had for my 2 pregnancies was a man... some women were much more rude in the exams... we need men in our environment to act like humans and are able to maintain a professional approach. (Sadly, there have been situations of sexual harassment) and the idea that men and women can't be friends or collaborate is the most damaging thing. We need men in our lives, boys and girls, men and women. We have the reinvent our interactions.
My favorite teacher ever is my 8th grade math teacher, and I was homeschooled until 6th grade, meaning he beats my mom on that list. He was this goobery old dude with TRIfocal glasses, fun projects every 6 weeks doing everything from basic measurements of things around our homes to planning out your budget for your entire life! He cared about his students so much but the school for some reason disliked him. A parent got mad because after she took her kids out of school for a week long vacation, they didn’t turn in the 6 week project because it was assigned while they were gone and they never asked him for it, even though it was the 4th one of the year and he told them about it before they left.
Well the school made him stop doing the projects for the rest of that year. The school made him NOT challenge his students with an educational, fun, and creative project.
He left a couple years after my grade to teach at a community college where I went and I ran into him my freshman year. He remembered my name and we talked for several minutes about my degree, his work. And he said he’s proud of where I am and excited to see what I’d do
THAT is the kind of teachers we need. And sadly there just aren’t many now
Are you saying his female colleagues were jealous that he was sick?
While your father's impact on his students and the school community is certainly commendable, there can be an opposing argument made about the role of male teachers in the education system. It's important to consider various perspectives.
Some might argue that the gender of a teacher should not necessarily determine the skills or qualities they can offer to students. While your father was successful in teaching art, agriculture, and practical skills, it could be said that these skills and attributes are not inherently tied to one's gender. Teachers, regardless of their gender, can effectively impart knowledge and values to students.
I am pro-equality, for both men and women. I want both sexes, genders, everyone, to feel like they have the support they need from society. It is an idealistic wish… but I hope that as a society, we work towards making the world a hospitable place for everyone.
But men and women are not equal and you can't change it.
@@MattieTobi men will always be stronger than a woman
@@The_viking_memesphysically, yes, but it dosent really come into play into this society unless you are a athlete or have a construction job. Besides that, men and women are EQUAL in every aspect and consequently deserve the same possibilities
@@Eternalight2036 the brain and the way of thinking between men and women is different
@@The_viking_memes That's just the way you think, for me I think we are all just created in a different way and so might have other fears. If girls were so inferior then this video wouldn't exist
I have a younger brother, only 24. And he has struggled. His relationship with our father is tense/nonexistent. He has struggled with substance abuse, addiction, and I’m sure anxiety and depression though they were never officially diagnosed…
He is adverse to any form of therapy, and it took nearly 5 years of convincing to get him into a small college.
Our father sees him as a failure and a bum, and it breaks my heart because I don’t see him that way.
I see him as my younger brother who loved to tinker with toys and build and create things. Just because he didn’t love traditional school (he wasn’t even a bad student, just not at the very top), it built a bad relationship with our father, and thus, I believe, pushed him into this “malaise”… where he just on the surface seems very behind in life.
This man’s work helped me to give voice to what I believed my younger brother has been suffering from and is having to deal with.
Thank you,
A Big Sister
That must be really heartbreaking. I'm hoping the best for you and your siblings❤
it's incredible how many parents have lofty standards for their kids then do nothing but criticise them. My dad hammered it into me that I must follow him to Oxbridge, but never once did he help me with my homework, or indeed anything at all. Lazy, lazy parenting. We haven't spoken in years.
As a male around that age (just turned 25), who has lived with most of those things myself. Those things don't define me, they refine me, it's a lot, but it helps build strength and character.
Your brother is strong if he is still able to manage everything. Though I hope he changes his mind about therapy, I understand the mindset and costs, but it's a tool that exists to help people.
I obviously don't know your father, but I hope they are able to reconcile.
Also, tell your father (without damaging your own relationship) that “failures and bums” are those who don't support their family.
your parents were toxic assholes
My younger brother is very similar. He'll eventually put a led through his thinking box, sadly like several of my friends and a couple of his own have already done. I would assume it sucks for him seeing his younger sister accomplishing things in life while he hasn't even held a girls hand. My mother finally noticed and asked me how to solve it, me being a idiot though I just told her just like me and my elder brother will keep working at life entail we can't anymore then take our leave. No one cares about how we are doing and nor should they care, not their damn problem. Hope your brother gets better though, my little brother helps me rebuild trucks on his off time away from work keeps the mind off of things.
As a 38 year old man, that often times feels worthless, this video is powerful. Thank you for doing this research. I know this sounds weird, but it makes me feel like I'm not alone when I hear that other men struggle with these issues, and doesn't make me feel as hopeless.
To the contrary... you are very much needed in our world, as the research bears out.
I feel like this everyday.
I’m so glad you found comfort and validation in the video, and if we can keep this narrative going towards acknowledgment and resolutions, perhaps we can find our way back to each other in the spirit of decreasing this loneliness and isolation that so many men are feeling. The woman in me wants to run in and nurture the pain away but this is a journey that only the men can travel and solve. Please know that there are women who do care.
Um,,, this guy is a joke.
Women are supposed to make babies… they aren’t.
Women are just more simpleminded.
None of these are issues women don't also face...
In 2003 I was doing research for an article about overachieving kids who win science fairs and other academic competitions. Turned out they belonged to specific racial communities in the US. I interviewed several parents for insights. The most telling one was with a rocket scientist dad of an Intel Scholarship winning kid.
He said it boils down to family. “Chances are if the family unit is stable (husband & wife) the kids will be smarter - boys or girls. There is no substitute for attentive, supportive and caring parents.”
That stuck.
I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that out.
Wow I'll meditate on that. Given that my parents are distant and I'm at the age where I need to start paying my bills (late 18yrs old). But, from a poor social class with little education in a foreign country, with no family members apart from my father who wants to go back to his country and I'm lost and unsure what I should do with my life.
my dad was highly educated but mostly absent while i was growing up. my mom wasn’t as educated as him but cuz i was a sick kid she had to give up her career to take care of me and so she became a stay at home mom. while i was going through school i noticed a lot of my friends who were doing significantly better than me came from stable families with parents that encouraged them and supported them through their childhoods. seeing all of them kinda made me just feel dejected all the time and useless since anything i learnt or did, they’d do better. education has always been a struggle for me and once i got to college it just got worse. i don’t have any passions and i don’t know what i ever wanted to be when i grew up. now i am a full adult who is a dropout with no useful skills no useful knowledge and probably no future. i don’t even kno how to be a “man”
@@so_rise you'll get there. I believe that life is fair somehow. If you didn't have the helpful social status, I'm sure there's something else in your pocket that will raise your chances in life: maybe a good genes 🧬 or a one-of-a-kind mentor....or any other bounties sent your way...just keep going
@@childfreesingleandatheist8899 well played. Well played
I live in the UK. I tried to become a physics teacher at 35 with a real passion for my subject and an enormous amount of life and vocational experience. I was cancelled simply for questioning a really pernicious and toxic set of feminist ideas. I was actually told there are two truths when I pointed clear lies and was also accused of being aggressive by women who clearly felt intimidated by my intelligence. I did so much more work that all of my peers and scored better in exams but was told that I would have to repeat all of my placements based on some complete lies told by a couple of female staff. I mean really basic stuff like 'Benny has done no preparation for this lesson' when I had actually created a series of slides on a pen drive that they refused to look at. I made an official complaint to the university. The investigation took nearly ten months rather than the four weeks I was promised and was not upheld. I appealed to the Public Services Ombudsman who partially upheld my complaint on the grounds that the investigation/cover up did not reasonably investigate my concerns but the University still completely refused to acknowledge any fault.
I am so sorry for your experience. As a 32 year old now unemployed and overeducated man that can relate to a lot of what you're saying, I feel like I dodged the bullet by deciding not to become a teacher. This is not our time unfortunately.
I'm 28 now. I have a little boy who's currently 21 months, and I will I not allow the society to roll right past him and leave him behind as I almost was. Unlike the majority of my generation, he will learn his worth at a reasonably young age and not be left alone to suffer hard lesson after hard lesson. I will be there to take his hand and guide him to what it means to be a good man because I felt what it was like to go without that male guidance.
To any young men out their 15+ feeling lost and tribeless you need to know that you are worthy of love and admiration, and you are in fact not useless.
Lucky for you man. I’m almost 31 and crossed that bridge. No family/kids or purpose.
The problem of being tribless, unwanted, unloved is that everyone tells us that we are capable of being loved and that we are worthy of it but nobody ends up choosing us.
Teach him to seek Christ and Biblical values. That will help him more than anything else.
@@Fallensky17 I am 42, male no family/kids. But that is not the only purpose in life. I try to make the world a little better for my friends, my wider family (my nieces) and everyone else. Thats more than enough purpose in life for me.
What i am trying to say Family/kids does not equal purpose. It can be one, but its only one out of a load of things that can give you purpose.
If you feel purposeless because of this go soulsearching. I assure you there is purpose, but i cannot give it to you.
Kudos, I love your concern. ideas, and attitude . I pray for you so that as you try to make efforts to correct these relationship issues in families, you may not make worse mistakes . Most of the times we may think we are correcting mistakes yet we are worsening the situation for our family members. We also need the grace of God in our efforts.
I like this. It’s not someone ranting on Twitter. It’s someone respectfully and calmly discussing a topic that could be considered controversial.
Only an illiterate idiot would consider this controversial
What's a twitter
@@gezenews Feminism in the 70s was just the lesbian movement in disguise...and Feminism now is just plain Evil and Toxic
@@gezenews blue birld of ilon mask
@@5yrsand-bs9uf bro your username trick me 😂
Back in 2019 I got a job teaching schoolchildren up to grade 3.
The school wanted to keep me and intended on letting me teach children up to 5th grade, yet after a month of probationary period, I decided not to continue there.
What struck me was the fact that boys, whom I had taught for merely a month, cried on my last day.
Some of the other -more experienced- teachers said that the boys cried because they were losing a male teacher.
I’m a female primary school teacher and this totally makes sense. Your loss must have been heartbreaking for those boys (and girls!) as they had probably very few or no male teachers to look up to at school before you.
I never met my dad growing up, neither did a lot of my friends (poor neighbourhood) I had one male teacher in primary school and honesty I loved him. He had a huge impact on my life, I think at the time I saw him as a surrogate father. When I moved into his teaching year I went from an average student to top of he class, I started to love going to school, he coached the football team and I eventually made Captain. That man was a godsend in my life. There’s something to be said for young boys having more male role models around
🤔
I'm a male teacher, and many of my students take me as a surrogate dad by default because they are so desperate for that type of figure.
@@CB-dl1vg thank you for being such an important figure to the boys
I'm a girl and I've seen this in my day to day life. Watching certain experiences male friends and family members were just expected to endure due to being male has made me so incredibly frustrated with this issue. I come back to this video time to time because I appreciate it so much. Thank you for making this video
Going on 31, my dad got diagnosed with cancer when I was 16, attempted suicide at 17 in front of me, when I was 18 i was there when they told him your terminal. I took care of him mentally, physically, and financially. Putting my own dreams and aspirations in the trash to spend as much time as I can. He died October 2021. Now it feels like playing catch up with no hope in sight. I’ve never dated, I’ve always been low wage , anything I did make went to help my parents.
I was born with a heart condition so always been overweight. I’ll just say the number of times I’ve been close to ya know has been hundreds.
I would agree with feeling useless and worthless. I’m invisible to society. I gave up years ago having a normal life I’m just drifting at this point occasionally enjoying hobbies. The only family I have left is my mom at this point. After her I see no point.
I can say nothing because I feel exactly the same, but in a different situation, let me tell you something: There is no use expecting to find anything in others, we have to sail alone, enjoy the sea on the way... nobody will jump in our boats (I know I'm a married man with two children) only woman and children got somebody on their boats, but occasionally another boat will join your way for time to time, visualize a coast in the horizon and keep going there.
I hope you find more to keep you going man.
Hey, you still have hope.
Just try finding it, don't surrender.
I would love to have a conversation with you, help you out.
GG m8
Male teacher here. During our master's degree in uni, in my class we were 5 boys and 65 women 😅
What subject?
Oh boy, i think i just found out what i wanna be in life
walking down the hallway after class gotta be crazy
@@armoredlumberjack1999 make that choice and all you'll be is neutered. There is way more going on than this bozo is talking about. In order to fix it, men have to first walk away from the system that is supporting it. You clearly aren't willing to do so, and it will destroy you in the end.
This makes me so sad! As a fellow teacher with a teacher husband and a teacher father, I can attest to the extraordinary benefit of boys having a male role model at school. Many of the boys I teach don't have strong male role models at home, and having a male counselor, teacher or coach can make a more personal impact on these young men than I could as a woman.
My mother was a single parent. She worked two jobs so we never saw her. In 6th grade I got a job illegally working on a ranch with grown men to help support my family. From that point on I have been working, just imagine 6th grade! My older sister is two years older than me and while she wasn’t at all pressured into getting a job me being the male of the family I felt the strong urge to help provide. Needless to say I lost my childhood and I grew up way too fast, nobody else in my class ever experienced anything remotely close to it. It definitely made me stronger and wiser than my peers, but I suffered and still do. I’ve always thought that all of my suffering came from not having a dad and honestly it brings me peace to know I was right. I’m now a father and I’ve gone down the “best dad ever” path and I’m able to fix my past by giving an incredible childhood to my kid. Guys just know that you ARE needed.
Thanks brudda and may God bless ya
Of all the jobs you could have been saddled(lol) with, you chose probably the best one. Ranch hands take care of their own and do their best to help each other if they're able; you grew up with quite a few good role models there I would assume as bad eggs generally don't last more than a season before they're tossed for being douchebags
thank you.
I just lost my job. I have no hard skills or training. I am about to get married. I feel like I don't have anything going for me
@@maxonmendel5757 at first glance it seems to be that way. Every day we wake up is another day to better ourselves. Nobody knows anything about a subject until they put time and effort into it. You don’t have to move mountains today, just start somewhere and go from there. You also said you’re about to get married! Congratulations btw and just know that your partner needs you and you will find a way to provide somehow someway. Keep going and never give up, you ARE needed.
You did good.
Especially being the 'best dad ever' part.
As a mother of twin boys I can confirm how damaging it is to be fatherless - my husband died when they were only 4 years old and they have had little to no male role models. They are struggling
Thanks for making such a great video on men's issues! It's refreshing to see the topic getting addressed in a way that rejects a zero-sum gender conflict.
Not to my gf apparently lol, she stopped the video every 2 mins to talk about how “women go through the same thing”, even though it’s a video specifically about boys and men.
@@zecmadeit Because when we said these things without also having zero rights ,we were just shushed down. Now when men say it, it's revolutionary. Just like always.
@@zecmadeit Make love to your girlfriend and then leave her!
@@esikazemeseeh that sexim
@@zecmadeit sure to a lot women fact's dont really matter, not that thats smth new
Worked at a job where I was sexually harassed daily. Told my manager that I didn't feel comfortable and she told me "To learn to take a compliment". I quit. She emailed me two months later and asked if I wanted to come back and that she would add 3 dollars to my hourly wage. To this day I'm still pissed.
That’s terrible I’m sorry you had to go through that
Yeah i get what you mean. The whole me to movement is a one way street in witch woman are the only victims witch isnt true.
Should take advantage and take some pictures.
@@HoPPtySPLYou are disgusting
@@jarl9510 facts
As a girl I agree, this is getting really sad if not dangerous for everyone involved! I’ll share❤
You’re right, men are beginning to lose interest in women in mass, I’m already starting to notice the subtle changes.
They won’t ever say this irl for fear of public condemnation, but you’ll see it everywhere online.
AI girlfriends are becoming increasingly prevalent compared to AI boyfriends.
@@blue-phoenix115 it goes both ways too. Lots of women aren’t bothering to date right now due to such different expectations in relationships. It’s a big gap across the board.
@@stuffystuffsityas6302 This how humanity is gonna end huh?
@@blue-phoenix115 the future is grim bro
@blue-phoenix115 if you think that AI boyfriend is not going to be successful.... that's because you never heard of 'love and deepspace' (most successful otome/dating game for girls, pretty sure they would sell their kidneys for an AI bf).
Also same observation, none of my friends (f), are interested in dating... not even me actually :/.
I'm a 39 year old man who grew up without a father and it still affects me today. I have a family of my own now, but I feel like I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. It's insane how men can't talk about their problems without being made fun of, but yet at the same time we are told to be open and honest about our feelings.
It's such obnoxious gaslighting to have to pretend isn't real.
@@punkinhoot Shh, don't remind leftists they're supposed to focus on class not genetic essentialism and virtue signaling, we might get somewhere.
That happens to everyone. Male or female. Life sucks.
@@jjoohhhnn You can see it in the video and in all the top comments every single issue you every try to bring up has to be prefaced with "I know women have it worse and are right about everything always" before showing straight up statistically that statement is untrue but they have to do it anyway.
Man I feel the same exact way about my daughter I feel so clueless out here. Like I'm trying to make money for her and also me and my bills. Her mom keeps telling me I'm a good dad but I already know I'm not.
As an 18 year old man who just got into college and wants to become an Elementary School Teacher I’ve always known that the workforce I’m going into has been built much more for women and it at first made me feel I wasn’t needed and useless because I was male. However I then realized it didn’t mean that, it actually meant the exact opposite, it meant that I was much more needed than ever before. The more the number of male teacher plummets the more motivated I am to try and put a stop to it. I hope one day once I get my degree to actually make an everlasting impact on a district with the work I put in.
If you read all this your an absolute legend
Please keep striving to do what you can. 40% of boys between the 1st and 12th grade are without a father due to divorce, death, or absence.(In the US) I *promise* you would be doing good things for people. I know that my 3rd-grade teacher was monumental for allowing me to be the person I am today.
Godspeed!
good for you. I've heard that the reason there're more women in the education system, especially lower education, is that it doesn't pay well, and many men who are qualified want higher-paying jobs. I'm glad you chose to be an elementary school teacher, and a father figure for many boys. Whether those boys can grow into accountable men, and whether girls can find accountable life partners in the future, is up to people like you, Good luck with everything.
Now more than ever we need legends like you mate. Show them how good of a teacher you can be.
fellow 18 yr old man with an eye on becoming a teacher as well! Good to see someone with similar values. Wishing you good luck on your journey!
I find it interesting how when a lot of these social crises are boiled down, it almost always shows how poorly designed our education system is. I ironically grew up wanting to be a teacher, partly due to how much I looked up to my male teachers, but it seems I was never cut out to succeed in an academic environment. Now I own a growing business and I have the immense privilege of being a positive influence on the younger employees that come through. I think overall, a lot of systems ingrained in society need a serious overhaul if we ever hope to live in a better world.
I think the issue is deeper than that unfortunately, if we can't effectively guide our use of tools the system will fail until the point our management of the system matches the technology in use.
What did we all do before we had an education system?
@@andrewpierce1588 Mentorship/Apprenticeship. It's not as formal but it seems that men respond a lot better to a "wise" authority figure. You tend to find the old bastard types on job sites rather than classrooms.
It's actually perfectly designed by out "elite" overlords it does exactly what they want keeps us dumb and divided
What people should understand is “you should see a man as a man, woman as a woman” when talk about equality we are not trying see the difference between men and women.therefore we think women should redeem their rights by doing what men can do.Thus make the society unstable!
I love that you're shedding light on men's issues because ever since I found out about boys being taught to suppress their emotions from a young age and about the pressures they face throughout their lives to always be manly, I've had a soft place in my heart for the silent suffering of men.
As a 25 year old Native American man I had experienced these disparities, with the exception of attempting suicide, though on two occasions i was indirectly close. I greatly appreciate the likes of Sean Carrol, yourself, Brian green, and pbs channels for your initiative’s. I have gone back to school full time to study CS in hopes to make myself useful for the kids like me and my reservation through creating impactful resources. Thank you guys for helping society grow and allowing a new way for everyone to learn.
Hey man, Native Americans really really had it hard for centuries, I wish you and all your families better times and better states!
Nice job man keep up the great work. When you get to where you're trying to go, you'll be infinitely grateful to your present self.
I think this continues to highlight the issue. You went into Computer Science. Not the HEAL. and why cant we get women into the STEM professions?
So proud of you! Thank you for sharing your story!
I wish you the best. It's shameful how men/boys are treated in the US. A literal human rights violation.
This is really important. I almost never see men's issues being talked about ever, so I'm really glad you've brought them up and talked about them with very well-done research. Let's create our own reality where men and boys can heal themselves and become more involved where they lack, as well as having the support of those around them. This message needs to be spread around just as much as women and girl's issues.
edit: Beware of trolls in the comments. Ignore hate. Much love to all.
Ikr i'm saying this forever. Society is so unfair to men
Don't worry, whole channel will eventually be shut down for this video alone..
@@SolsticeN Nahh That's Not Fair
Men and boys issues are talked about a lot by conservatives so maybe you need to broaden the horizons of the content youre consuming
@@bigacend7 no you're wrong. which world you live in ?
I was going to college to become a teacher. I even worked as a teacher for one fall semester. The kids loved me so much that it became a problem in the eyes of many. My homeroom was 8th graders and everytime they saw me they would run to me and hug me. Being a male, other people looked at me being friendly with the kids as creepy so I just told the principal I would be gone once I finished that semester. Men faces stigmas women don't even though there are more female teacher in scandals with students.
And why did they run to you? No dads at home.
Thanks crazy women.
Well, statistically, children are safer around women than men. I’m not talking about you, just in general. That’s also why Nannies are almost always women.
@@ayla8345 When I see headlines of men killing toddlers because they wouldn't stop screaming, I get it. That's a person who doesn't even understand basic human development.
I wish you would've kept going
@@ayla8345 Most nannies are female because they are patient with children, not because they aren't child abusers, if none of them were i wouldn't have been abused by one.
The amount of female teachers charged with student relationships is mind blowing
nice
@@simonauger8216
This is literally being part of the problem
What is more frustrating is people even refusing to talk about this idea of male issues because "They are ahead"
"stop victimizing yourself, males have the upper hand in everything"
-A spoiled girl to my depressed ahh
@cocacolaowo318 yup, men definitely have the upper hand when it comes to people taking male suicide seriously or any issues men face....
Got to love the clown world we live in coming from a gen Z nothing makes sense anymore
We don't even know what f****** gender we Are
I really wish they would bring back the days where if you owned land you were the only ones to vote if you can't get drafted you shouldn't have a say in the country the dumbest decision was to allow women to have the right to vote but not serve the country in the same way that a man does
clown ass world 🌎 twice the amounts of workers for half as less
Ask her why men are more likely to suicide 💀 Men as in mental health definitely don't have the upper hand, there isn't even a hand. You usually get to push through all by yourself. With antidepressants and such it took me 7 years to even eat properly, people still ignore I was ever mentally ill. And they are shaming me. Yet whenever a girl was just saying she was "tired today/sad today" they did everything to help her. But not even once someone accepted to talk to me about the subject.@@cocacolaowo318
@@cocacolaowo318lol, the upper hand in what? ostracism? systemic abuse? Pretty convenient from people in privilege to have the victimhood complex
I wasn’t expecting to be touched by this video but it really does it home. As a guy I have come to depend only on myself because no one ever helps us to the point where we not know HOW to even accept help. I grew up with a single mom who didn’t understand that I genuinely struggled in school. It’s very hard to process being intelligent yet not being able to handle school. I was essentially kicked out at 18 and forced to go to college in a new state and the reality was I just wasn’t ready for it so I failed out after only two semesters. I had never felt so lonely and isolated and lost as I did that year. I ended up working in restaurants to support myself and drank all the time. It wasn’t until only a few years ago that I was able to get sober (on my own with no support), enrolled in a trade school and became an electrician. Now I’m finally stable and healthy but what it took to get here is beyond words. Of course my mother is happy but we don’t really have a relationship at all anymore.
HARD Times makes STRONG MEN...tbh, you were a lot better off dealing with stuff by yourself...it has made you STRONGER brother...and the world needs STRONG MEN and not weak pussies that Evil Feminism has/is trying to create...as they know MEN will become easily controlled.
hey its nice you were able get on your feet
I’m really sorry man, thanks for sharing. Glad to hear your Singh better now.
Congrats for getting back to soberty and becoming an electrician. Wish you to be happy, too
Very smart to become electrician. You can easily earn as much or more than many white collar professionals AND you have actually essential knowledge
Regarding the issue of people entering HEAL professions, the issue is probably beyond gender divide and is one of insufficient pay in many of such jobs. A great step forward would be to increase wages in HEAL to encourage more people (men & women) to embrace these very useful jobs. We live in a crazy world in which the least socially useful jobs (think investment bankers & co) are paid many times more than people in roles that provide the foundation of our societies (healthcare & education).
This is absolutely the ticket. The last thing a disempowered man wants to hear is that he needs to pivot to an underpaid and underappreciated career to succeed. We need less superficial praise for "heroes" in healthcare and education, and more real improvement of their working conditions and pay
Well, the market determines how we value things. The market, not me, not you. And anytime we try to artificially increase wages for sectors the Market doesn't value, we get burnt
Totally agree, especially because in heal jobs like teaching longer hours are expected for such little pay and with very little other reward.
@@riverland0072the market says you’re worth 0 dollars. Sorry :/
@@riverland0072 When Wall Street is in crisis, they get a bailout from the government and it's okay to meddle in the market. When workers are in crisis, they get told "we can't meddle with the market". Certainly any economic policy can have negative repercussions, but we shouldn't dismiss new ideas without examining any real evidence of the possible pros and cons. Economics in the real world is not the same as what you learn in 101. And you have to think about who controls the publishing of that 101 textbook and how they may be biased towards teaching you oversimplified ideas about supply and demand that benefit their wallets
Male psychology GCSE teacher and safeguarding lead/aspiring clinical psychologist here. Firstly, thank you for the video, it's extremely informative and highlights issues I didn't even know existed. I was told on my first few days in the job not to hug any students because all it takes is one allegation for an investigation that will destroy your career. Whilst I understand the need for such strong safeguards, it was still extremely challenging to ask another female staff member to hug the 15-year-old girl who had managed to find the courage to disclose years of domestic abuse to us. Sometimes I think about normalized inequality such as 'of course you asked the female member of staff to hug her, that's normal' and I wonder if that's really how it should be? Should comforting another human being with something as basic as a hug be gate kept by gender? Should empathy be attributed to femininity? Where does that leave men if this is the case.
Again, thank you for the video, I am tempted to read the whole book now.
Thanks for your choice of career and your work. I grew up in a small town school where most of the teachers were women, they were all lovely but children can struggle to make connections if they feel they're too different from their teachers.
My younger brother struggled a lot and it was a new male teacher who helped him out of his rut, he gave my brother a sort of role model to aspire to, someone relatable he could talk to day to day, someone who cared about his potential beyond the little delinquent it seemed so many staff categorised him as.
I'm sure you'll have many students that will look back fondly on your interventions, I know my brother looks back fondly on his
@@shamrock141 Thanks man, it means the world. I've had plenty of 'delinquents' that just needed an adjustment to expectation and style in order to shine. I hope your brother's doing well now and is finding his success in life.
The men who let their urges get to them poisoned the rest of us.
I must admit, our brains are literally hardwired to be like that, but making an assumption that you ARE a person that has bad intention simply by the act of hugging is beyond me.
As a female I appreciate how brave he is for talking about something that nobody seems to know or care about. He doesn't villify women in his arguments because he knows society needs BOTH men and women to flourish, and that makes me respect him. This video really puts into perspective what my male friends go through, why they always seem so unhappy, and why they never talk about it even when I ask. On the topic of our education system, I cannot agree more that it needs to change. Quick. It's rigid, outdated, and discriminates across so many sectors. It's simply not built with humanity in mind, much less for males and anybody else whose minds function on practicality and purpose. Heck, even as a girl with high academic performance, I am one of those people.
If you're a guy reading this, please know that there are plenty of people (male or female or other) who understand and acknowledge your struggles. The number of people in the comments who resonate with the topic is proof enough. It is not your fault that you are suffering. Nobody can tell you that you're useless and don't deserve to exist, not even yourself! It is okay to be upset about these issues, because they are certainly happening and are hurting you. Just don't fall into the trap of hatred; hating because you feel hated never balances out the equation, it just perpetuates the vicious cycle. Instead, know that you can reach out to people you can trust and respect!
Edit: Being independent and capable of handling things on your own is a positive trait and proves you are mature. Still, mature people are still people with emotions and circumstance, not to mention the kind of world we live in now. If you don't have anyone immediately around to talk to in bad times, there are different kinds of professional mental health support systems out there. And sometimes, the people you know might seem unapproachable, but you might be surprised by how understanding they actually are. You don't have to tell everything, just letting them know you need a little help can be enough.
thank you.
Thank you.
simple analogy: nobody happily benefits from the patriarchy
W women
Stfu there aren't people who are " out there and acknowledge your struggles ". You learned nothing from this video at all. That's the issue, nobody is out there that cares.
"The movement for equality has - without declaration - become the movement for supremacy". It is hard for both, men and women, to talk about this topic. There is a lot of pain and personal experience involved. I really care for women and I really care for men. Our life styles have changed so much within the last 100 years, it's hard to find ones personal place and it's just as hard to find the right answers to questions that can only be answered subjectively. I'm liberal, I'm conservative, I'm against simple claims and pro accepting the complexity of the nature of things. I'm sure - one way or another - we'll find a way as society to make it work somehow. I don't know who needs to read this right now, but I want you to know that your life is special, you are important and all the struggle is worth it in the end. So keep going.
simple is best
but what you say is nice too
I have experiences too
beautiful words👏👏👏
What's missing from education now is excellence, competence, patriotism, culture and God. Giving a participation trophy to everyone sabotages a boy's competitive spirit. Why try if the authorities won't allow you to win?
The Left is fighting a Culture war against America. They dumb down the curriculum. They aim instruction at the least capable students; while ignoring the needs of the superior ones. What 8th graders in 1880 were expected to know was impressive. The Kids then loved America. There was no time for politically correct ideas.
We need competent and knowledgable citizens. If we don't teach civics or the classics, how will students appreciate the blessings they gain from being an American? Will they value the sacrifices which our forbearers made to provided us with civilization and prosperity? The Left in control of education say a resounding , "No." This is all a Leftist plot. Thank Antonio Gramsci for that.
The only solution is to end government education. Give the parents back the school taxes and let them control where to spend it. Put the parents back in control of their children's education. Even a Feminist mother won't allow her son to be left behind.
If society was a pyramid, most people on the very top are men but most people on the very bottom are men and boys too and the pyramid is way bigger on the bottom than on the top. Women, for most cases, live happily in the middle. Now most effort today is made in trying to bring women to the top and also tearing the men on the top down but about the men and boys at the very bottom, nobody cares.
As a man and a worker, i always remember this:
Every company fears one thing. Someone who knows both their rights and their worth. Keep both in mind and follow them.
It makes me so happy that this man includes boys when talking about men, because yeah, you don't need to be an adult in order to struggle with purpose, emotions or life itself.
I, as a teen, have thought of suicide multiple times. The fact is that it is the real solution, I mean, it will end all suffering, but it will left depressed family members of mine, who indirectly stop me from doing it. I have already decided not to do it because of them. Not because I love them, but because they love me.
And yeah, I have been to therapy sessions. It doesn't work for me. When I have to put my problems into words, not only can't I find a fitting description, but neither a solution.
I actually thought that this video was about men getting pissed off my modern women who developed a radical feminist mind. These women don't appreciate anything of men, and even then they ask for more and more things. Back to the point, I expected richard reeves to talk about this, but it was actually better.
I run programs for juvenile boys. And let me tell you, he is spot on. Reprogramming them to find a purpose and get educated is hard. What works for us is re-introducing the “productive male figure” through intense mentorship. We have seen much success, even with boys who are incarcerated. Let’s keep this conversation going🙏🏽
I'm lucky myself to have never needed of any of this programs but I want to thank you for your time and effort to give a young man the chance to seek a better future and guide them
I used to think studying was pointless. My grades were the worst in my class. One day, when I was 12, I was talking to my studious friend, and he told me that the reason he studied hard and aimed to maintain a high GPA was to get into a prestigious university, because this, he explained, would give him a better chance at landing a high-paying job as a lawyer. According to him, studying hard as a child was the easiest way to maximize your chances to get rich as an adult.
This blew my mind. It was the first time anyone ever explained to me the fact that studying might actually produce real-life benefits, even if you didn't want to become a scientist or engineer. I had thought that studying was just a process of memorizing massive amounts of useless information. I literally had no idea it was virtually all you needed to do to land certain types of high-paying jobs.
Up until then, I hadn't even realized that actions performed today could pave the way for a better future. I didn't understand that people could actually live for the future. I had thought life was all about trying to have fun, and scraping by.
After that day, I started studying hard. Originally, I just wanted to improve my chances to get rich, like my friend did. After a couple years, I began outperforming everyone else in my class in terms of STEM and language grades. Thanks to other positive influences, my life priorities changed along the way, and I ended up becoming an academic research scientist.
My successes were a result of my studying hard, and ultimately, I owe them all to my friend, who gave me the motivation to start. Had I never met him, I honestly think I would have ended up a failure, since my own parents, and most other people around me, were terrible sources of influence.
As I see it, the biggest problem in school culture (where I'm from) is that no one really explains that studying hard can lead to concrete benefits. Children don't understand the big picture, so they don't see the value of amassing knowledge for its own sake. And the vast majority certainly don't believe they can―or even want to―become scientists or engineers. So the easiest way to motivate them is to explain to them what my friend explained to me: get good grades and you have a shot at getting into a good uni, and get into a good uni and you have a shot at landing a lucrative job. Virtually every child understands the value of money.
There are of course other ways, such as using educational stories to convey the value of knowledge, or making studying more engaging with games or entertainment. And so on. But using money as a motivator is a lot simpler and easier, and that's why I feel it's the best place to start.
I don't believe a productive male figure is needed, no need for figures, I think we should rather just let them feel out the world and approach it the way they will, humans will learn by themselves
Men compete in reward based systems. They won't (and probably can't ) just take orders for no reason. Without some tangible goal and reward men won't participate.
Women will participate just because that's what they are told to do.
@@Cecilia-ky3uw you are wrong.
This hits especially close to home. My father died when I was 6 in a driving accident. Growing up, I didn't realize how much that has impacted my life. Now, as an adult looking back, I feel very strongly that his absence has negatively affected my life. It has trickled down into every facet of life, and I hope that in the future, more people will understand that women are not the only gender that needs help in life. In many ways, I think we men need more help than ever before if we want to achieve something like sexual equality for society.
@@asmrain5652 In other words you dont care about mens rights. Do one.
I kinda like the added last bit, I feel like if we had our attention on every side equally then maybe we'd get somewhere, but if we fight for women's rights and shut men out, they'll become more destructive to themselves and others. It doesn't benefit anyone to lift either side. If we have healthy men helping healthy women and vise versa, that would just lead to more growth on every side. Although, I'd also like to include everyone in the middle of those sides. Much better world when we get support and give support than take, take, take. Life's hard, regardless of sex, race, ethnicity, sexuality, etc. Maybe save for those with power and money, though.
@@asmrain5652First, we need to entirely dismantle the united states' government and reassemble it with our modern technology and research in ways that allow everyone to truly have equal opportunities and rights.
@@asmrain5652bro tryna ignore men
@@dominominohthere’s only men and women
I'm just glad and grateful that Big Think chose to make a video on this, because it's an even more of a serious issue than most of the world realises.
True that. I'd rather listen to actual studies, examples, well researched articles, testimonials, etc instead of listening to likes like Andrew tate or those masculinity, red pill, Sigma wierdos. People don't understand that men like these are there to make a fortune. They don't really give a sht about common men. They just wanna feed their insecurities and the best way to do that is create hatred among them towards women. Just like the feminism shows the bad side of men on spotlight, those men shows bad side of women on spotlight. And boom!! We have a mob of men following that
It is, and I have any number of real world and personal anecdotes that perfectly exemplify this destructive social change.
I feel like in school boys gets discriminated so that may also weaken boy’s motivation.
@@haruka0002 I'm not a boy/man, so I cannot talk for you guys. But I've had a few experiences of discrimination for being a girl :/ The saddest is when it is from female teachers. Most teachers treated me right tho, I hope y'all are doing good. Everyone can make amazing things, trust yourself!
@@Mariana-ee8dg yeah, well I guess it depends on the teacher?
As a woman, who is pursuing a career in a male dominated field I'm starkly aware of how a lack of same sex role models can affect you. Sadly this issue is becoming more of a problem for men, and a lot of women don't want to admit that. Finding middle ground in such a sensitive topic will be hard, but society will be all the better if we continue to push for real equality, where both men and women can pursue careers that suit their unique skills without feeling like an outcast
Ur part of the problem. Maybe u should be doing a female related job. Why go for a male based one
I'm sorry but it's never gonna get better to the point where we find a middle ground. You're looking at the start of a society collapse.
@@TitoRapa I don't strictly disagree, however, I also believe in Hope and trying your damn best to make a difference.
Sure, you probably aren't going to make a difference in the whole of western civilization, but you do have an effect in your life, and your family and your town, etc. Don't put the blame on everyone else, it's wasting time that you could use to start making a change and it just makes you more miserable.
I learned this lesson the hard way, I wasn't depressed because my situation was bad, I was depressed because I convinced myself that I couldn't make it better.
@@TitoRapa i fear you might be right. but i still hope bria is right.
@@bria1648 i will keep that quote if you dont mind. i mean situation can be bad, but very few situation are so fucked up that they cant get better. and actually starting around you is agood starting point. i did this too, while my situation was bad. and looking back i thought maybe i can get out of this in like 2 years, it took 4 for the most basic shit and 6 for more or less all problems from then, not doing new dumb stuff and resolving the new problems that just happened. but 8-10 years later i am still glad to have put in the work.
I was effectively raised by a single mother from the age of 10, due to a disinterested father. Since then, I've been a high-school teacher for just under 8 years now, studying for a career change into academia. There are two things that seriously bother me about the Australian education system. This video is so damn accurate, it's almost frightening.
1: The number of mixed messages boys are receiving in our system, partly due to the disproportionate numbers of female teaching staff, particularly in the Primary sector. Don't misunderstand me; there are some bloody amazing female teachers out there, I know many of them. But so many boys are growing up with single mothers, or in female-dominated families. And they need positive male role models, to model real masculinity. To borrow a phrase from Dr Robert Glover (No More Mr Nice Guy): so many boys become men who have been shamed into believing that they're not okay being who they are, just as they are.
CLARIFICATION: This last part is not because mothers are unable to properly raise sons. It is because in many cases, fathers are not present to model positive behaviours, eg communication, independence, respect, integrity and perseverance, among others. As a result, many boys are often socially unskilled and lack resilience.
2: The lack of support for men in education and our wider society. One of the core reasons I got out of full-time teaching and went back to casual/part-time was the amount of workplace bullying going on in teaching. Some of the best teachers I've worked with have been men, some of the best have been women. And it's the same conversely - some of the worst bullies and worst colleagues I've had have been men, some have been women. In my short career I've contemplated suicide, had PTSD and one of my best mates nearly died from an overdose, following an argument with a corrupt principal.
These are both serious problems - and problems are only solved when they're called out. I wouldn't recommend teaching as a career choice for anybody at the moment. But particularly not for men.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Fellow Australian.
Men have failed their sons generation after generation. Here in the US, Fathers are so terrible, they put Dead Beat Dads on the post office walls to try and shame them. Did nothing. When you fly into the US they ask for Mother's Maiden name as the US is known as the Fatherless. US men by and large stay man children. We've done all we could to try to include them. When not dealing with the violent ones, they just want porn/prostitutes/tail/sports/gambling and alcohol. The opposite are the monsters of religion who want women to be livestock to them; cooking, cleaning, brood mare all for free. So many think men are a virus that need to be wiped off the face of the planet. In my Grams day, they said, all men want are a nurse or a purse, so this is nothing new. What's new is women are sick of men, so we've stopped caring and men don't care about men, so men are feeling that lack of emotional support from women overall. And women and girls are just done, done, done. When women find out it's a boy, they are aborting it, so they reversed Roe. When people find out that it's a boy, they say, oh sorry, he'll only grow up to hurt us.
There is literally no hope left for men here. The anger girls and women have toward men is palpable in the US. Boys and men, "boys will be boys" - they've just done too much harm. They've hated their own sons and steal their own sons resources generation after generation and have blamed the all male created school system on women. The very ones who've kept these boys alive when the men would've let them starve to death. So women are walking away from Motherhood, men in general, nursing and teaching in droves. Men created the education system the entire world currently has and then whine when boys can't compete in your own man made system. Women and girls have only just been allowed to get in, and in only certain countries around the world and we do it while bleeding the whole time and still boys can't keep up. Really think about that. Imagine blood coming out of you for up to seven days, every single month for almost your entire school year and working career; it hurts and you're 9-14 years old when it starts. And still boys and men whine. All the while boys and men making fun of periods. Why would little girls have any empathy for boys when they don't have to suffer like girls do and still girls learn better than them?
The number of excuses men keep coming up for themselves is beyond pathetic and all men know this. Start actually saying it's all your fault, because it is, and maybe women will care again. Doubtful though. The ship has sailed and women and girls are opting out. And don't forget, men are becoming the top booty prize, so when men are playing basketball in the future with their shirt off and get assaulted by other men and come running to the women, he assaulted me, women will say what men said to us all this time, what were you wearing, oh, you were showing skin, how short were those shorts..oh, then you were asking for it. Go ahead, keep blaming the all male created school system on women. What else is new. Men make the rain and then ask why it's raining. Pathetic. Imagine if all the single Moms decided to stop feeding all their sons back in the day, then we wouldn't have to listen to you whine today. Go yell at all your loser Fathers...oh wait you can't...because they never cared about you. Sorry all the Moms and women stepped in to try and teach you and feed you, you know, not only gave you literal life, which cost them their own bodies and physical health, but literally kept you alive when the majority of men chose to let you starve emotionally and physically. And men wonder why women aren't listening anymore, every time you open your mouths it's still men blaming women for what men do and we are frankly, just tired of it.
@@juliebella1221 Did you actually read what I wrote? I'm not blaming anyone for anything. I was failed by my own father. Some of my best mentors and role models have been women. And some of my best mentors and role models have also been men.
I've also had bad experiences working with men and women alike. As I clarified here. So before you go calling anybody pathetic, get the message straight. Beyond what I've written here, you don't know a goddamn thing about me. You want change? Start with basic respect. Some of us actually understand that.
@@solitarysurreal3652 Yes, I read it twice. And I stand by what I wrote. In one breathe you're like oh thank goodness for my Mom as my Dad didn't care and the next, boys are failing because it's only female teachers.....even though the curriculum is set by men. How you don't get men, overall, are the problem men are facing today, is beyond me. It's because women have opted out that men are in crisis right now because no other men are stepping up. You yourself stepped down. All women do is step in and step up and you say men shouldn't get into the teaching profession while saying boys are failing. Whatevs.....you do you. Happy New Year and sorry if I offended your delicate sensibilities with truth. I read your post twice because one paragraph is yay women, the next, too many women in the school system and I'm a dude and I'm leaving the school system. I wrote about men in general around the world, how men and boys got here today. You said your a man, so that's what I wrote about. I don't know anything about you other than your male and males are in crisis and the reason why is because y'all keep blaming us for you stepping down and out. It's ridiculous. You don't get that, no worries mate. I'll leave you to it. :)
@@juliebella1221 And I respect you standing by what you're saying, because you're right in a lot of things. But I did not say too many women in the education system, I said not enough men. That's not the same thing. I'm a huge proponent of the balance - kids of any gender need male and female role models in their lives. The fact that boys don't have enough POSITIVE male role models in their lives is a critical issue. If fathers actually modeled to their sons the values of respect, ownership, communication, conflict resolution and integrity - and were consistently present to do so - boys across the board would be far better off. And would be far more socially skilled and as a result, know how to treat women properly. Which is better for everyone.
Upon which we both appear to agree. Not offended by truth - in fact I didn't find anything personally offensive here. So I'll apologise if I came across that way.
I made the decision to step down and out because of corruption, bullying, inconsistency and toxicity coming from men and women alike.
But likewise, Happy New Year and I'll leave you to it.
let me tell you i broke down crying watching this. i finally felt like someone understood what’s happening to us, and it’s so damn crazy that most of society is just letting us crash and burn
How sad for you to live in a time period that’s not geared entirely towards uplifting men, like every other one til today, but one where that energy is split. 😢
@@dogfat.you know i’m not even gonna bother arguing with you, you have only proven the exact problem we’re facing.
The irony is it is "sad" but not surprising to see a proportion of females absolutely revelling in this news. Like men are finally getting oppressed for once, or so they imagine. The epitome of a misandrist basically.
@@dogfat. oh it’s split, all right, but almost always unevenly. Between male or female, we can never truly find that balance. Every gender, now including the many others we have today, has its own gripes with a society that pretty much condemns and communizes equality. Equity isn’t as available as promised by our ‘great nation’.
@@TheShadeySide don’t worry mate she lives in her head away from reality
Thanks! As a young professional that 1) works in the public education system, and 2) is aiming to study clinical social work due to the desperate need in our society for mental health resources, I fight day after day to learn how to be an effective teacher, leader, and father, and to push messages like this in our broken education system.
It's big picture messages like this one that give me the clarity to keep going despite the often-uphill battle, as well as hope that society as a whole is starting to understand the scope and gravity of the issue.
I particularly appreciated the data included in the presentation. Will definitely be referring to this in the future for conversations about the matter.
More like this, please!
That's wonderful that you are going into the field, wish you the best and hope this video is useful to you. Thank you for the super like as well! We would be happy to send you a free gift if you'd like to fill out this form: docs.google.com/forms/d/1ltbo96CeRkdyDRzQ18-lXoJAWBSPZDv_2kcxAjGmXUw/edit
Male social worker here. Would love to see more in our field. Best of luck.
What is that $5 thing on your comment and why is it green?
@@No-ky3kb I think RUclips has a “give thanks” feature now. Basically, they don’t want people to be pushing money through patreon, RUclips (google) wants the money to flow through their platform directly
Society don't realize how hard a life Men live. The Expectations have become so unreal that even if we complain about the Expectations, it is seen as a weakness and we risk losing Respect from Society. Men are criticized and judged by both Men and Women not just in their outside appearance but by their ability to provide as well. We can't share our feelings out of being ridiculed.
This might’ve been the push for me to become a school teacher, my mentor told me I would probably end up doing it based on the way I am and yet I doubted I’d ever want to do that. But I’ve become *increasingly* drawn towards helping the youth and helping them create a bright future for themselves, especially since there’s a lack of male teaching figures in the black community.
JUST, DO IT
or you'll find out you're not getting through against the onslaught of online influencers and stubborn parents and then rage quit to make more money in another profession
@@360.Tapestry Ok doomer
@@iqbalindaryono8984 go ahead. do it then
Stop making yourself feel better. Teachers are dorks
As a male high school teacher, thank you for making this video. I struggled early in school and getting left back in kindergarten really helped me develop as a person I am today. But what you’re saying about needing more men, especially young men, in teaching is something I’ve been told by most of my women colleagues.
Hah! I am a high school teacher for 26 years and can tell you I go to work everyday avoiding landmines laid by females. I stay for the lifestyle but think about leaving daily. Do not show your real masculine side or you will be targeted. Men need to tuck their privates behind them and act like we are metrosexual.
I work in schools in the U.K. and being a man has been one of my key selling points. The children have a different bond and level of respect with me that they don’t with females. More work needs to be done to get men into teaching.
@@yofinance1777 but then this is making them more sexist. The girls won't be partial between male and female teachers. The fact that boys don't respect female teachers is not a flex.
As a mom of three boys, I definitely want to see more male teachers. My sons enjoy their male teachers and need those good male role models.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife it's not good that they don't respect female teachers. Girls won't disrespect their male teachers but boys would definitely disrespect their female teachers. Teach your sons to not be a misogynist.
It's an absolute embarrassment that shop classes have been removed from the curriculum. The amount of engagement and mental stimulation that it provides students is incontrovertible. I understand why they did it though. Cost cutting. Chopping up pieces of wood for 30+ students per class can get very expensive.
Woodwork and then metalwork were my favourite classes at school, and I often used to go into the workshop for extra time after school to make things. I am really grateful to the teacher that allowed this. I went on to do an engineering degree and have now spent 30 years as an engineer. In retrospect I suspect that health and safety would now not allow what I did though.
@@PJ-om2wq the health and safety protocols now are also stifling. I understand that there's always risks involved, but you can't grow as a person if you're always being coddled, monitored, and supervised like it is now
@Nidhish Sharma yep, and sitting down at school, for homework, and desk jobs all day aren't too healthy for us either. We need to be more physically active, it's what we evolved to do.
Thank the lord we still have shop classes in my high school. They even incentivize kids to take it by making it a weighted class, as the number of kids taking it is getting lower and lower each year.
they still exist at my school, I think it depends on where you are.
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Dude you might not have a life but you have my respect
@@experiencedotaku171facts
The chic who invented the males
@@Missy35249 the dude who did that to that chic:
@@kc6810 Unfortunately that was just a women’s role back then. It’s true in nature too, female animals take care of the children whilst the male animals hunt and provide. Of course in our modern society, now, women and men can play the parts of the opposite gender before them-and now women have a much better chance of inventing and providing for society. However, it can’t be denied men have contributed far more for society-i am not saying, however, that women aren’t capable of making the same contributions. It was all just evolutionary bad luck-or good luck. Women did have it harder.
Special Ed teacher here. 5 out of 24 employees in our wing are male. A coworker had the tenacity to say I was taking part in some "boys club" when I came out of a meeting that happened to involve a male admin. The level of unawareness is so frustrating
Meanwhile fully female staffed institutions never get any criticism for exclusion.
Wife works as Special Ed. One male teacher in the 6th grade, and the last male para just quit due to the toxic environment and low pay.
You bring up a decent point though. There isn't much awareness. Men have had decades of training on the need to treat women as equals. Women have had decades of training that they can be equal or better than men. The average person just isn't intelligent enough to realize that these principles need to go both ways when the training only focuses on one direction.
Special Ed teacher here too!!!
And yes, the old schtick about men's privilege is pretty tired. Much of it is true, but blown way out of proportion to reality and too often used by people being vindictive and trying to take the victim role.
(Saying that as someone who has had to face my tendency to play the victim role myself in some areas of my life - so no judgment, just understanding.)
As a retired male teacher, I see a lot of truth in this video! These are issues that we need to deal with.
As a new male teacher, I see this too!
There's a military school in Oakland. I was told that former military veterans were hired and the school was run pretty strict. But for some boys, this is what they needed. Then, a Liberal principal was hired and made the school like the rest. The school just fell apart.
It seems education is important for both genders.
But there should be some balance, have freedom of choice.
then as experts say those long-term marriages are flourishing if both have the same values, hobbies, same lifestyle.
so it's interesting that when you see a couple from the same environment or same job, for example, music field or science field.
they understand each other so much that their marriage is long-term, and they share similar points of view or values.
It's like the music or the topics brings them together because of empathy.
They put themselves in the shoes of the other person.
For example, if both love sports or hiking or traveling there is a bigger chance that they will have a long-term relationship.
I agree that men are designed to be high performers.
As John Gray says estrogen makes women talk about emotions more often.
10 times more noticing emotions and problems when under stress.
So I guess women should do some yoga or sport to be less in stress.
Testosterone suppresses the estrogen in the man´s body, to be calmer and focus more on task.
Testosterone is about problem-solving. So it's true that men are usually better leaders and problem solvers.
He also says women should not force their husband to think too much about their emotions. She shouldn't ask him how do you feel, but What do you think?
Because if she forces him to feel emotions too much, it's against his biology.
But men feel happy to make the wife happy, or create values etc.
He says men shouldn't ask women What do you think, but how do you feel?
because if he forces her to think rationally and logically it is against her biology, She is becoming masculine.
Love and empathy and gratitude are not about logic, its energy, and vibration as Einstein would say.
because man expects her to have the type of thinking and feeling as women have thanks to estrogen.
He teaches couples how to communicate properly. Empathy helps put each other in their shoes.
But elderly men get much more estrogen and females get more testosterone. so it seems they should do some meditation yoga and not think bout their identity
so much even Dr. Joe Dispenza says the less you think about your identity such as gender nation, profession, lifestyle, language, status etc.
the better you focus on your tasks.
Same, I recently ended working as a teacher for the pursuit of an IT career
Is it hard to enter teaching as a man? I have a couple of male teacher friends and they said it was super easy for them, they were overwhelmed with job opportunities and higher than usual pay after graduation because "lack of male teachers, we need more men teaching, it's important for the kids" while some female just graduates struggle because they're more women in teaching, so they have to have some other competitive edge to be noticed.
Vocational classes saved me as a boy and young man. I suffered from dyslexia and back then you were just considered dumb. Struggled to read couldn’t spell all around struggled to learn. But I always got A’s in shops and art. When they removed shops from schools and stuffed you in front of a computer it was a kiss of death for gifted boys who could work with their hands producing something of substance!
thanks to technology nowadays computer can read for you tho, also some font are more helpful to dyslexia people
I drop out of art subjects because they require people to write long analysis that I have no idea what it is about, and suck at it. And most people consider art is art history in college. I still remember my teacher says if you don’t do art ….(some stem) than don’t go to college, in their eyes art is college and theory only.
There are no differences dyslexia functionality in boys and girls. Usually girls underdiagnosed than boys by teacher awareness.
The only A+ I ever got in school was for a pillow I made. I only just scrapped by with the rest of my school work. We were only ever told about getting to uni, its been such a waste of time for me but now im so far into it i have to finish for whatever reason, ill end up working with heavy machinery
I turned 20 last month. Haven’t seen my dad since I was 16, he kicked me out after we had continuous fights over him remarrying only a few months after my parents divorce. I told him to wait, for my siblings so that they could adjust first and he in short said “no, the father does not listen to his children.” Eventually this led me to get kicked out, and I live with my mom now. I love my mom, but she struggles in many ways in being a single woman parent to a young man. I’ve noticed in work, my self worth, and my desire to learn that there are many negative consequences to not having a dad. Especially how hard it is to transfer into adulthood without the guidance and advice of a dad. It sucks quite frankly. I feel like I’m at the bottom of a pit, trying my damned hardest to keep my head above water but the pit just keeps weighing me down. I’m not gonna give up though, there’s no value in that and I have younger brothers that I would NEVER want to leave alone, I know my presence and care for them helps them in ways I was never helped as the oldest boy in the family. But damn is it hard. I agree with a lot of what he was saying, and especially empathize with the young men of today that are struggling without fathers to help guide them in a beneficial direction. The pit feels like it just keeps digging itself deeper, but you’re never actually stuck there. It just takes a looot of effort to pull yourself out. Part of what helped me deal with my situation was mentally surrendering to the idea that I might fail and I might just end up being a statistic of a boy with loads of potential that flopped in life because he couldn’t keep himself straight. But I don’t want to be that, so while I still have a shot at changing my life I might as well keep going. To anyone that relates in some way to my position, I hope you find your own answer to keep on chugging. It can be as simple as “I don’t want to b*tch out on myself and give up, or give into drugs.” Whatever does the job and whatever you truly believe in is a good solution to live by. Lots of love from a fellow struggler, peace.
I just read your comment, and while I'm aware I don't know your story in detail, I wanted to say that I can see all the efforts you are making, and I realy admire you for that. If I may, I'd like to send you a hug, and an encouragement that you are doing well, and that your effort is more than enough. Life isn't fair, but the way you are living is, to me, a great reminder that we can control how we react to our circumstances, and that we can keep going as long as we have hope :)
I wish you all the luck in the world with your journey.
Go into a trade like welding, etc and start making good money as soon as you can, it’ll give you confidence to maybe start your own business one day. And read your Bible if you want to have some sort of moral guidance-I let tell you reading your Bible will help you. Read the ancient Stoics, look up the Stoics channel. Keep yourself fit and healthy, eat protein and greens. Good luck-you’ve got this 👍🏽👍🏽 Be amazing for your little bothers and a better man than your dad! Your little brothers will love you for it-giving them someone to look up to.
@@user-lt1jd1ye3v This is fantastic advice especially the moral guidance.
All you can do is all you can do…and all you can do is enough - Art Williams.
Give 100% or near 100% every day and you will do fine. One of the struggles of this age is thinking you need to put in some insane level of effort to succeed. Most people today are lazy or just getting by. That’s opportunity for you.
If it helps, set a long term physical, mental and professional goal then set a series of short term goals to achieve each one so you don’t overwhelm yourself then…go out and do it. Good luck!
You can't pick when you fall in love with someone. This will make sense to you one day. Sorry for your loss. Both my mother and father moved on within 6 months of their divorce. Humans enjoy being in love and they will do crazy things to do it. He should be mature enough to tell you this but men are not always great at talking about feelings. Is there any way to talk to him?
Inequality shouldn't be addressed by putting people down. It should be through raising others up. The hate and vitriol behind oppressors, male, female, white, black, whatever, helps no one. Hatred harbors resentment. Fear harbors resentment. Love harbors connection. Understanding harbors action.
I have never heard this social issue being described so clearly and accurately. Most talks that I've heard on this was just describing one part of the problem. Really well put and I hope that this will help young men going forward being the best version of themselves because we as a society DO need men
If society needs men, then society should probably start showing/telling men what they'll receive in return for their efforts. In other words, why should men invest in society if they're not being given something of equal or greater value in return?
Naah, you dont need men. The future is Female. You are all strong and independent.
@@metallboy25 nice one
@@metallboy25Yes, we do need them. Even from just the most basic survival instinct, we need male and female to surbibe as a species.
@@metallboy25 We need both, we both have our purposes in society and that is biologically true. Strong and independent? Men need women, and women need men. (Not to survive as individuals, but to survive as a society and a species)
I tried going into the nursing field and started out as a CNA and it was absolutely horrible. I could deal with figuratively (and almost literally) breaking my back as a male doing the heavy lifting, as well as being asked to deal with the more abusive residents. I could deal with drinking 3 energy drinks a day to keep up. I could deal with the backstabbing culture within CNAs, and the constant moral accusations against me and other CNAs by coworkers who just stroll in out of nowhere. I could deal with running myself into the ground and not being appreciated at all by almost anyone.
The worst part of it for me that tipped the scale was feeling like I wasn't a part of anything good. Costs for supplies kept getting cut as well as our hours, by sending CNAs home early under the lie of "Low Census," that there were suddenly somehow too many CNAs per resident, and doubling the workload of CNAs for the remaining hours. It was understood that we were pressured to do things in an unsafe way due to the imposed constraints. That was already the case when I started, but it was only continuing to get even worse. I just so happened to walk into the nurse's station to get something when my nurse for that day (one of my few genuinely good coworkers that I appreciated working with) was apparently raising these concerns with the admin (it was only them until I walked in), and the admin only had to say, with a strong air of condescension, "The CNAs should be able to handle their jobs." I knew I had to leave. I did not want to be the reason that somebody got hurt. I was new with my license and I could tell that nobody gives a damn, that even healthcare is profit-driven to the extreme. I left and decided not to continue down that career path.
As a side note this was in 2020 for $14 usd/hr, by far the highest wage I could find for a CNA job at that time (most CNA jobs were around $8-$12/hr), which I hardly survived on. I understand its considered a "bad job" and RNs make more, but my point is I have no desire to "move up" in a corrupt system that hurts the people its supposed to care for, and I'd rather just die alone on a cold floor than ever go to some LTC place for care.
At least the stock holders get good return on their investments. That is what counts, isn't it? /:
Its heartbreaking to read your comment my man. As a rn for the past 7 years, Ive seen our (canada) healthcare system crumble before my eyes. And im sure its the same or worse down in the states. I see this video as an impetus for creating systemic change in our education, economic, and healthcare system because currently, THEY ALL EFFIN BROKEN. It almost feels as though nobody cares anymore, well at least the people in the “higher ups”. Corporations and management mistake profit for proficiency. This scares me to the core because if we’re creating a culture of ignorance and lack of compassion for the future generations, who’s going to be caring for us when we’re old?
-almost burnt out critical care nurse
Were those difficulties felt only by you as a man, or do you think the issues with stressful work conditions and backstabbing applied to everyone regardless of gender? I'm honestly asking.
It's by design.
@Patrick OCampo the backstabbing culture is systemic and sometimes noticeably worse as a guy. Women don't use physical violence to solve conflict. They destroy reputations.
My therapist says all the nurses he has all report extremely toxic work environments.
Two examples I saw recently at my HS
1. I was sexually harrassed by another male student, and despite me reporting it to a high ranking staff member, nothing was done to my knowledge.
2. A male classmate was given a mark on his record and a long suspension for a delivering a well deserved insult to another student while a female classmate stabbed a dude three times with a fork and got a three day suspension with no mark on her record.
But you have to remember that women are INSTITUTIONALLY disadvantaged. How awful would it be for you to get away with assault because people thought you were a cute lil lady?
You're mad a girl defended herself?
@@ACollectorNotAHoarder You'll have to troll harder to get the negative attention you're looking for from me. Pathetic this is what passes for trolling these days.
@@ACollectorNotAHoarderThis is one of the problems with society though, people assume the female is the victim, and not the aggressor in situations like this. She very well could be the victim, but we don't know from the information given.
@@jjoohhhnn Imagine having a 6 years longer life expectancy due to less work related stress, making up only 7% of workplace fatalities, 4% deaths due to war, 24% of suicides and homicides, 20% of the homeless, having people assume you are the victim when you initiated DV in the majority of cases, having laws that cannot identify you as a perpetrator of r ape, having a 40% higher adoption rate... and thinking you are oppressed
There's a saying that men only receive flowers on their graves
Men say flowers are gay😂
@@sum5950 a major rule in communication, "Don't speak for others."
That is not a fact but a subjective opinion.
@@indeedinteresting2156they do tho 😭
@RyeBrod k good thing I’m gay because that straight ppl shit is complicated
@@indeedinteresting2156 okay hun, would you buy your friend flowers ? The answer is most men would not. So it’s your own damn issue.
As a male in todays world. I have never felt more lonely, hated, and useless. It’s terrible.
A society that treats its men like shit will crumble.
Probably social media driving that. YOU are valuable and important and necessary. Do the things you love and take what you can out of life. No one is going to give it to you, take joy in working and serving others. Understand what you have control over, your own words, actions and intentions. Do good and be happy and satisfied with living a simple, quiet life. I wish the best for you.
You are NOT useless and you ARE needed
We love you :)
You are NOT USELESS. What hurts me the most is the fact that some of us usually attach our worth to finances and other things. What makes you WORTHY is who you ARE. There is no one else like you!
I have an experience here. When I was maybe 11 I went to a restaurant with some friends. The place had a couple arcade machines and I went alone to check them out. A girl about my age was over there and wanted to break a machine’s glass to get the prizes. She said I should do the same, but I didn’t. After she hit the glass several times an alarm went off and a female manager came running over. The girl and I were silent and standing right next to each other. Immediately, the manager accused me of hitting the machine and kicked me out, while the girl laughed at me. There was no evidence that myself or the girl had done anything, except for the alarm.
EDIT: Let me clear this up. I’m not trying to say women are unjust and we shouldn’t help them. That isn’t remotely what I’m trying to say. All I am trying to say is that in my personal opinion, a stigma has developed in which many subconsciously may end up thinking by default that it’s a male that committed a crime. I wasn’t trying to start a war about gender, I was just stating an experience that was in fact relevant to the topic. It is because being accused of something you didn’t do solely based on your gender can actually be emotionally damaging and negatively influence a boy’s development. Development in which the video clearly regarded.
Discrimination. God this world is messed up.
Very shitty experience! The insidious quality of old macho masculinity is the effect it has on young boys, put in to boxes by the toxic expextations within patriarchal structure.
Women aren’t held accountable the way men are.
And then women expect boys to help them when they get graped in public
..
Hell no.
@@yout1556 EDIT: There was a major misunderstanding on my part here and I apologize, I will leave the original post because it's still quite important to keep in mind for others. There are many [valid] reasons on why some people might not help someone else in trouble and that's fine. I'll try to give people the benefit of the doubt and ensure that to keep in mind that comments don't have the luxury of things such as tone from now on.
That's not the route you should be going for! You don't stop helping others just because a few experiences with that group [whether racial, gender based, or just based on appearance]. What should be happening is support for men as well and have people be more empathetic in general towards situations like assault, discrimination, and other such things. What kind of logic is that? I bet you are the same person who will go "not all men" towards a woman who merely mentioned a bad experience happening to her, despite you generalizing the other gender as well!
I am heartened to see this being said, but I (as a man) have quietly accepted my place in this world. I drive a truck for a living, alone 13 hours a day, and I come home to a spouse and children who are asleep. I really don't speak to my family until the weekend, but that time is spent doing chores and house projects. My partner stays home to watch the kids, so I'm responsible for the income as well. Lonely is a feeling I've grown to embrace, because to feel anything less is depressing; and depression will impact my ability to be useful. I was a high school dropout, and while I avoided drugs and crime, I simply had no metric by which to set my sights on. I have since learned to embrace the 'cog in the machine' mentality, because broken men need purpose and a foundation to rebuild themselves. I may not be needed in society, but someone needs to drive this truck, someone needs to build this kitchen counter, someone needs to teach this child how to do a thing, etc. It is my responsibilities that give me meaning in life. Externally, it can be sad. But at least I have the semblance of control over it, and in that I can find peace in being useful.
I would love to speak to young men, to share my life experiences with them. Not to dictate what they should and should not do, but to explain long term consequences of actions made in the present. I was a form of teacher once, and I enjoyed it tremendously, but it wasn't a long term financial option. I hope that things change for men in the future, because a society without them will lead to ruin, but I also believe I've missed the boat and are stuck in limbo- too old to languish in woe, but too young to take pride in what little I've accomplished. I just simply exist, for better or worse, and will try to do as much as I can before heart failure or prostate cancer takes me.
Mr. Bee, don't give up. The purpose of life is to care and from your story it is obvious that you do, figuratively and via your actions, literally. Take pride from that and embrace the happiness, the peace, that comes from knowing you are a giving man. And look for a new job! 13 hours is way too much!
Respectfully
Beautifully said.. I (too) have accepted my place in this world, however insignificant that is
Write letters of what you would want to say either to your kids or to young men that you think you can help.
If you’re the one bringing home the bacon and your wife is not doing the housework (and otherwise) then it’s time to put your foot down or leave.
If you don’t then you have no one to blame for your situation but yourself. Best of luck
First of all, thank you for opening up, and Godspeed to all Truckers for stocking our shelves, supplying our fuel, etc. I work in distribution and get the opportunity to talk to truckers on a semi-regular (no pun intended) basis. There needs to be serious reform with the trucking industry to allow heads-of-household, especially fathers and husbands, to come home to their families on a regular, daily schedule. The way truckers' schedules are set up currently only make sense for those who are single without kids. Something has to give.
Second, as a young father to two beautiful children and husband to a wonderful wife who stays home with the kids, don't lose faith! We don't have everything figured out yet, but regardless of how much time we actually get to spend with our kids as they grow, I KNOW that in hindsight they will come to appreciate the fact that their dad tried their best as a hard-working, flawed human being.
Lastly, to those who are quick to cast blame, please wait to share an opinion and make calls-to-action until you have a family of your own.
Coming from my experience, my wife and I made the mutual decision for me to be the sole breadwinner while she raises the kids and takes care of the home. We can both say confidently that no one is a better caretaker to our kids than their mother. Also, as someone who has filled the shoes watching the kids during the day, it is a full-time, unpaid position in itself. Kids are so hands-on that getting to all of the chores can be more difficult than you think. So please, cut them some slack -- Especially so if said partner is either handicapped or has any pre-existing conditions that would keep them home from working full-time (mine does).
I imagine OP loves his family. Please keep doing what you do to take care of your family and be their for them when you can. We need more people like you!
I work in education, and I've seen a lot of primary and infant schools that have only one male member of staff for the entire remaining workforce of women. One could see that they were doing a great job, but I couldn't shake the feeling that they were there to "check a box".
I grew up with a single father and although ive chosen a career ive been thinking about trying to become a teacher. Especially because the male teachers ive had were the most understanding for me and helped the most in my struggles.
This is beautiful! ❤
Here in Finland we evaluate some children for whether they should start pre-school a year later to have been matured enough (here kids start pre-school at the age of six, in some cases at the age of five). But that's only if the child has noticeable issues compared to their peers. I think similar screening of maturity should be done to the whole population to make sure they're ready to study and learn and get a good start for their education.
Also, it's dangerous to stare at the sexes, since we're talking about averages here and deviancies do exist. Rather than let's say, make every boy start the school a year or two later, we should screen every kid regardless of their sex. Some boys may be ready at the age of six, some girls may still not be ready. It's a structural mistake yet again to treat a whole (any) population the same.
Oh boy, your contry is soo much ahead of the other one that is at some points scary haha, i live in Quebec and even here, a Beautiful rich place to live in terms of culture and also money, its impressive how Finland/Netherland/danemark and couple of others country in your side of the world is really Great!!
My thoughts exactly. Education must be much more individualized
I agree that it has to be on a case-by-case basis. As a kid in primary school, I was extremely bright in some subjects (not in all) and was already bored and frustrated in my classes. I ended up in a private school where I could progress on my own timeline. If I had been held back an additional year just because I was male, that would have been a genuine disaster for me.
This also is done in Germany! First you get a check up with the doctor and then you have to do some other tests (like draw a house etc.) to test the childs mental capacity.
School starts for children at age 6 (some also start at 5). Certain children can also start school at age 7 if they are not mentally developed enough to start school. Tbh i was never aware of this being special and i think this should be done everywhere
@@frankmartel3428 I think my country has done something right, even though there's still a lot to solve. Also, our results at PISA have decreased the last few years, which raises the question if it's due to lockdown or some other factors. However, I wish every country makes their best to serve their citizens. There may be several ways to the happier society, and cultural, historical etc. differences may make it so that what works here, doesn't work somewhere else.
It’s nice to know at least someone acknowledges these problems that often aren’t talked about nearly enough
I mean... I agree with almost everything he said, I just think it wouldn't be fair to send the girls to school 1 year more just because the boys are behind. Let's make all children go to school a year later then! I have always thought that kids should enjoy their childhood more. And second, when he said: "And for men in particular this sense of purpose is very important..." 😂 right, because women don't have existential crises or don't reflect on life, or at least we do it less than men apparently just cause we don't commit suicide as much as men? I think he got a bit lost there, I agree with the idea that we should pay more attention to the male suicide rate, for sure! but please...
@@danielaorellana8216 way to just completely invalidate the male experience...
Conservative speakers have been talking about this for years
@@codechartreuse just ignore it cause that’s healthy
@@danielaorellana8216 I think he meant that boys should go to school at the age of seven and the girls at the age of six... Not holding the girls in school one year longer. Just there would be 1 year difference between the girls and the boys in the class...
1:55 here in Brazil we also have a 14% gap (57%-43%). Despite free university education many men struggle to pursue it, largely bc they are often expected to work from a young age, sometimes as early as 15 to help support their families. In contrast, young women generally do not face this same pressure. It's rly common to see 15yr boys working to contribute financially to their families, while their 20yr sisters are not held to the same expectation and stays in their home studying. And, upon finishing high school at 18, men face mandatory military service here in brazil, which delays/disrupts their educational progression. With many men working from an early age, they simply lack the time to dedicate themselves to studying as intensely as women can. Often, young women can focus solely on academics until they are like 22 or even 25, without any responsibility, spending all day preparing for university entrance without the same economic pressures. And as men usually work on jobs that pay less and requires strength, besides having no time to study and being too tired to do so, they don't have the financial support to stop the rat wheel and study.
I went to a K-12 all Boys school where everyone starts one year late. Our level of education is far superior to other nearby schools that do not start a year late. The difference is incredible. It truly does help!
The reason why is you might have better teachers, easier tests, private school, better curriculum. I guarantee you if you were put in a normal school, you would be normal
@AB. Not at all. We have tests to compare our education level with other schools. These tests are administered to the entire area, and we've some of the highest scores in the area. We still use the same curriculum as other schools. Starting one year later does help, I lived it myself. I have cousins younger than me that are in the same grade as me, and they struggle. It might not be a big sample, but I'm certain that the year later gap helps!
@@ab.6573 Guarantee it? Lol. What credentials do you have to make such assumptions? I GuAreNtEe It'S nOnE
@@MattS-ig2br don't be a dick please. He doesn't need a college degree to understand his own experience.
@@MattS-ig2br What do you have to refute it. Cause I guarantee that's non too
Something that was mentioned in a video I saw many years ago, was "stop treating boys as dysfunctional girls". This was a call to teachers, saying that it's perfectly normal for boys to get restless in the classroom, and that they need to be allowed those precious minutes of recess to run around and use their energy, rather than get marked down for "being disruptive" when forced to sit down for hours on end.
@leosunaquamoon1471 It very much does.
Seems like the most controversial and poorly though out point in the video is the one about redshirting the boys. Wholeheartedly agree that this would only serve as a type of "band-aid" solution. Maybe there is more merit to gender separation in the classroom or differentiation between types of education for young and adolescent boys and girls than we'd care to admit. Where the two can *mostly* develop according to their biological differences, but also working together on certain topics or classes, before meeting in a unisex college education system or workplace.
Boys are naturally more disruptive and violent. You can't teach around that.
@@abebuckingham8198 Sure you can, when one applies a approach which is suitable and doesn't create unwelcome pressure which produces disruptive behavior.
@@ivankatalinic2881 Well you're stuck within the framing of a shitty education model in the first place. There is no reason that a school can't largely be student driven wherein you choose what subject you'll want to do and simply go to an area with support for learning it in the case you get stuck, there is no reason for textbooks not be written in a more self-directed way.
There's also no reason to force kids to learn everything, if you've seen adults nearly next to them are about as adept at math as a 3rd/4th grader and just as clueless in nearly all other subjects. For those that need to learn concepts for college and furthering the career that's fine to be behind, as an adult you could learn maths all the way from zero to grade 12 in a year or less if you merely focused and wanted to learn those things. It's frankly downright stupid the way we're currently doing things.
Also I'd imagine if you let kids play all the time you'll find rather quickly that they would want some mental stimulation as well, just in the subjects they choose rather than being forced into whatever random shit the teacher decides to through at them.
I hate that as men, we are seen as the enemy, as disposable, as tools to push everyone and everything else forward. Our feelings and our crises are pushed aside and we’re told that it’s harder for everyone else, completely invalidating our feelings which we’ve been ironically told to share an exorbitant amount of times. It’s a frustrating time to be a man, and I can only hope that tomorrows boys can bounce back from the issues that have been laid at their feet.
as a 16 yr old guy still in school, i do get nervous entering the real world after hearing these but knowing I was lucky to be born in a good kind family who will support me keeps me going strong. I cannot imagine those less fortunate in this situation. At the end of the day, we gotta keep pushing through I guess, it sucks and it needs to be spoken about as well. I hope you do well.
I got a hot take but one I feel is engrained in reality:
Before the age of feminism and women's rights, men had better social economics. Women had no rights, but conversely, men were expected to take care of his woman. In turn, this woman would take care of the home and man would be held accountable for providing. There was a significant layer of responsibility on the man, for he was the leader of his family.
Men had the right to vote and women didn't, but it was more of a privilege, and one that came at the cost of bucket duty, selective service, carrying on well enough in society, risking himself at a job, etc.
Men had the weight of the world and their family on his shoulders. Women did not. For protection, for entitlement to his provisions, women were second class citizens. While man took a higher risk in the day to day world to take care of his woman, socially, it was evened out by the woman being under his governance and protection.
Now adays, men are still expected to bear the greatest risk in society: Go to war, hold the most dangerous jobs that keep everything working, men are expected to still defend women when threatened, etc. But men also are forced to step aside for women, and to treat them as equals, even though women do not have to go to war, divorce rates are high and courts overwhelmingly side with women to take the purse and the kids, education favors a style that suits women, most women still expect a man to pay on a date, and of course........quota hires and DEI...........
It is as though I've borrowed money from my lender, and have told him it isn't fair for me to pay him back because.....oppression.....
Modern social economics do not favor men. So many go the way of the beautiful ones from the mouse utopia experiment, only tending to ourselves obsessively with barely a social responsibility to speak of. No family. No social currency.
Modern man is poor. Future man is bankrupt.
@@spunkinater You've been given a very odd view of the past. Women always had rights and in many cases, even going back to medieval times and before, women had more rights and fewer responsibilities than men. There may have been some rights afforded to men that women didn't have but there were far fewer than is commonly believed.
Men didn't have the right to vote for almost the whole of human history and neither did women. Enfranchisement and participation in the political system of a country was denied to all but a tiny and incredibly privileged minority, and that's been true from the creation of the first political systems up until only a few generations ago. It wasn't sex that made you a second class citizen, it was wealth and class. A large proportion of British men who fought in WW1 (I think it was around 40-50%) didn't have the right to vote for the politicians who had sent them to fight and die in the trenches. It wasn't until 1918 that they were given the vote and it didn't take long after that for the same right to be extended to women in 1926. - many women could vote after 1918 but younger women had to wait until 1926 in the same way that younger men had to wait until 1918. It's not exactly centuries of systematic oppression to wait 8 more years compared to the whole of political history when none of these people could have voted, and by framing the issue in terms of women's rights, it's diverting attention away from the more serious and ongoing issue of how your wealth and class affect every aspect of your life including the rights you effectively enjoy.
Another myth is the idea that women didn't work. That might have been true for an upper class or upper-middle class woman with a wealthy husband, but the vast majority of women, whether they were married or not used to work. Sometimes in paid employment, but often self-employed providing services such as repairing clothes, cleaning, cooking, child care, and seasonal work was very common and often involved whole families travelling to the countryside to be labourers when it was time to harvest the crops.
@@No-xs1no educated response
@@No-xs1no You wanna elaborate
I think the most important point you hit was at home. We live in a society where they are trying to normalize a home without a father. While women say they don't need a man, children need a father in their lives. (And I'm not talking about deadbeat parents; I'm talking about REAL fathers.) Once we help that out, the other problems will slowly start to work themselves out or even disappear.
Tried to say this a few years ago and was treated like a nut
I know how that feels.
yeah fr bruh
Alot of women spaces seem to be especially lacking in empathy for men. Mainly due to the idea that patriarchy is created and maintained by ALL men. Similar to how some minorities think ALL white people are the reason for systematic injustices and inequalities. So when someone who has literally never done anything wrong is suffering, they are treated like absolute trash. And especially made to feel like "its YOUR fault youre suffering. Do better."
i always saw an "favouritism" being on women for a while and started think society is hypocritical because they didn't even try maintain a balance on equality
Gotta be careful how you phrase it or you might accidentally do a sexism
As a woman, I'll say that the last point is probably the largest issue.
It is SO, SO important for children to have close, trusting adult role models of their own gender. It's crucial for young girls to have a strong woman to look up to, and it's imperative that young boys have a strong man to look up to. Someone who can influence them in good ways, and enrich their childhoods.
EDIT: I'm glad the replies to this comment have sparked such a discussion- I've seen some great conversations here. Lot's to think about. But my god, some of the people I've replied to have holes for brains.
So, I'll just explain a few things here:
1. The reason I stated I was a woman is this: we are talking about an issue experienced by men. If I were to speak on a male issue, while not making my gender clear, people may think I was a male- causing misunderstandings. I also believe that, before going into a discussion, it's important to show the point of view at which you view the world. I view male issues from a female perspective, which I thought was important to include.
2. I'm more than happy to have long, drawn out, thought provoking discussions with anyone in these replies. If you want, I can also supply you with statistics- which I have in some of my replies. However, if I am making an argument to you, and you retort by saying I think like a narcissist and that I seem like a psychopath- then it crosses a boundary. Retort to any of my points, but don't insult me in the process. Especially when I have been polite to you.
3. If I make a point explaining an issue women frequently deal with, please don't make your only rebuttal ' But men go through that too! You're ignoring men's issues. ' In no way do I intend to ignore male issues. However, if you claim that ' half of domestic abusers are female ' then I expect statistics. Because my datasets have told me the vast majority of abusers are male. Point is; please don't use male issues as a way to silence female issues. We can advocate for them both, at the same time- nobody, no matter their gender, should be a victim of abuse.
4. Yes, of course it's important for children to have both parents. Regardless of the child's gender- thought that was common sense. My original point was that, if it came down to choosing, then a role model / guardian / parent of the same gender to the child would be the preferred route. Sorry if I didn't convey that clearly.
Please change your comment. It is also important for girls to have BOTH; a father and a mother figure. Not a strong women. Same goes for boys. We are in a transient period where strong man/women are used where their meaning is changing and what they need are good parents. This definition is much more focused.
Edit: Sorry if I came across as bully forcing her to change comment. I just wanted her to understand, the first goal should be both parents for kids. I am saying this because, in modern times, having a single mom get custody of kids is not the best solution always.
For example, daughter needs dad to be there to show how boys think, or to be dependable. A female role model is good, but in many cases as child grows they find flaws in parents. From their lack of knowledge, or to their habits or personality traits. That is part of growing up, so given chance that a girl is closer to mom to look up to her, or have neutral favorites and consider dad as equally important? I would prefer it latter. It goes other way too. Dads usually spoil their daughters and it is important to have a mom to ground them to realities. Without saying, it goes same for boys.
Boys need to learn how to respect a women, how to court a women, and learn responsibilities as man from women's perspective from mothers.
TLDR; Role model, a person to look up to, are definitely good thing to have for a child. Especially if it is their own parents. But that is not the best utopia, there is even better one. Having a grounded family. Ideally the family should instill the characteristics of a role model in their child.
Unrelated but what’s ur pfp
@@NC-nc3gs they should not change their comment
While yes, there is a significant chance fatherless boys and motherless girls end up much worse, it would be best that both a positive male and female figure are present during childhood.
@@NC-nc3gs The OPs comment means the same thing. Though the kid needs both father and mother figures, the immediate gender parent will always influence their kid faster than the opposite gender. The father will always understand what his boy means/wants to say while the mother with her girl. A kid will most definitely love both their parents, but only one will be able to understand their specific issues and problems and those advices are what will shape the kid.
This video made me cry. I relate to the back end a lot. I have a great father, but my parents got divorced when I was 6, and although my dad was arguably the most mentally stable of my parents, I ended up staying at my moms. For a long time I would see my dad fairly regularly, then in my teens it became less and less. But in my head, I was still the same little boy who wanted his dad to come pay attention to him. As I continued to age, I realized that as my dad got more invested with his new family, that if I wanted time with him, it had to come from me making the effort to do so. I always wanted him to call me more and I always wished he would come over more, but I didn’t blame him for not doing so because even though my parents remained friends, some of my mom’s tendencies still bothered him and he didn’t like to remain in my house for long periods of time. I’m now 30 years old and I still feel like the little boy who wants his dad to talk to him and come over and ask him how his day was and about all the different things that I’ve been having fun with or struggling with, etc. He’s a phone call away and only a couple miles away physically and yet I’m so tired from my day to day life and so used to not seeing him that most of the time I just leave it be. I always wondered if steering away from him as a teen was what started producing more mental health issues for me. Luckily, I’ve gotten help for all the things that have bothered me over the years and it’s a never ending journey but it really hurt seeing myself at the end of the video and remembering that I used to feel like the useless man who did opioids and contemplated killing himself. I’m glad this video exists and I hope it can inspire change.
It was your comment that's making me cry, please let your father know your feelings. If he is a good man he will make the time you need with him, if he doesn't or can't, for whatever reasons, at least it will help you. It hits me because I have a son, and I believe we are close but, it would kill me to find out he felt like you do and not to know. Take care and I wish you all the best in life.
Thank you for sharing your story. I relate to this a lot. I hope you can tell your dad how you feel one day. Big hugs to you.💜
Call him
Cry??? My case proven. Women cannot raise men.
It is difficult to let go of your parent and become a parent if there was trauma like a divorce.
I got arrested for a woman assulting me 😭
Dare i say it's refreshing to see someone saying men's problems out loud without being interrupted or made to look small
That’s because they didn’t have any females in this. If they had included a woman, guaranteed she would have ree’d right over what he had to say. Every video that has men and women in it, the women roll over the man when he tries to bring up issues that men are having, even when they aren’t blaming women. Women can’t stand to have any issues other than theirs being heard.
Agreed! I think this is a very important take on men's issues. What I've often seen as the solution for men's struggles is for women to take a step back, allow men to take up the breadwinner/leader role, but I feel this is a regression to past ways of being. As women take on more leadership, science, etc (traditionally masculine roles), the answer isn't to ask them to stop and move backward. The response is for men to lean into/be open to their feminine side and a caretaker role. Definitely not to say that we just swap the gender roles, but as women step into more masculine roles, men should equally step into more feminine roles (like the HEAL careers) and we can find balance.
I think the struggle right now is that women are exploring their masculine energy, but men are resistant to exploring their feminine energy. Largely because we've seen feminine traits (caretaker, support, nurturing, etc) as weaker than masculine traits, when in reality they are both needed for society to function.
Because there are no women next to him, if not they would womansplain how we should just suffer.
@@rickysandwich women don’t want feminine men though. They want muscular 6’4 Chad.
@@rickstevenson9585 That's pretty much the opposite of what I've observed in uni
Also worth taking into consideration is that the norm makes it "cool" for boys to not care too much about studies. Social factors make you unpopular if you prioritize school in front of hanging out, playing games, going to parties, etc. This is of course a major disadvantage. I also find it extremely difficult to talk about problems, experiences and feelings with other men. Those things don't fit the norm either. As a man you're supposed to be strong, independent and have your eyes set at the horizon. There's no room anywhere for the human side of manhood, especially not in mainstream opinion.
Both boys and girls are being primarily raised by other boys and girls, not adults, so their social pressure in school is coming from people who have no clue about life yet.
This. Film and television make it look cool for men to be the "strong and silent" type, to grit their teeth and bear the pain. And even when men show emotion, it's always presented in an unrealistic way like crying "manly tears" or speaking in a way that sounds badass.
That's just not how it is in real life. Men have emotions. Men GET emotional. And men don't look badass when they cry.
And there's nothing wrong with that. Yet society seems to think there is.
Not just that, but from what I've personally noticed, men don't really care about other men or their problems, which is part of the issue. Men don't form the same kinds of mutually supportive social bonds that women do where they seek and provide emotional comfort from/for each other.
For example, say Jim, who's going through a medical crisis, goes out for a drink with Ted and Bob. If Joe starts talking about how he's struggling with the knowledge about his health and feels scared, Ted and Bob are going to tell him to stop being a p*ssy (or some variation), or casually brush him off. They don't want to hear it, and they don't really care about (or are just too uncomfortable with) Jim's personal problems.
Either this is immutable and biologically ingrained in men, in which case they're f*cked, or it's just generations of social conditioning, in which case it needs to change.
@@AngryReptileKeeper Exactly. If anything, I think men are harsher/more callous toward other men than women are.
you right men are callous but women in general are worse@@abstract5249
This isn't a women vs. men issue, this is a society vs. men issue. I feel like I matured just at the time these charges started to develop (I'm 70) and by the time I was a husband and a father, about 1990, I could plainly see that the culture in the US had turned against men. It's both a backlash and an overcompensation. Women clearly were in a lower rung of society when I was born in 1952. The women's movement gave them the chance they deserved and they never looked back. I worked in television and the number of shows, movies and commercials that were being produced showing men as comically inept was staggering. Both genders were responsible for the production of this content. The affect media has on the collective psyche and culture is well documented. Not only were men faced with having to redefine themselves as a gender but they being beaten down and laughed at while trying to reinvent themselves. I don't blame women for this at all, I blame the insidious and unchecked power of traditional media and now social media. One major societal problem was largely addressed only to create a new one.
Indeed. Every solution brings its own problem
more like class versus class issues. the people at the top of the socioeconomic ladder tend to dictate how others should live their lives like a bunch of hot-aired philosophers that would make Socrates roll in his grave, and at the same time, said billionaires will never walk the walk and do a bunch of cowardly, selfish things that puts everyone else below the 99% at risk.
fascists, noblemen, and people of feudalism will always point out the enemy and the "others" every single era we go through in order to hang onto the human construct of power via wealth and money.
hence why we need to tax the rich.
Quite naive, for having been there during all the militant white male bashing. Never forget that- "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".
@@walter9243 that's a very disingenuous way of framing the history. obviously women won't be able to contribute as much to society as the "average man" because they simply were not given the same opportunities and expectations. when put in similar deplorable situations, the functional difference between men and women is negligible. throughout history you see women working in coal mines, textile mills, factories, fighting in resistance groups, etc. the only reason we can enjoy the luxuries of a semi liberated society is due to the plenty of "average men" and women who dared to complain about the future set out for them by business magnates and tycoons and the whims of corrupt leaders and high society (which are also, not exclusively male!) -- the senseless wars, horrible working conditions and whatnot which people complained about and fixed by disrupting society (think to Vietnam in the US and the labor movements across the world).
what you've illustrated is more a class issue: poor men and women will work hard their whole lives, turning the invisible gears of society for a couple of rich people who will profit off their honest labor. moreover, while there's no purpose in trying to compete in an oppression olympics, I think a decent point could be made that the typical man is oppressed -- which most actual feminists will agree with! (not the loud, annoying """feminists""" that people love to repost on the internet) hence the support for mental health initiatives for males and other such programs. it was never a men vs women issue, but a men and women vs societal culture and norms issue.
@@jamescai3490 no, those feminists are the same, they are sexists, men-haters, and always argue or being passive aggressive. There is no solution for ideologically driven people who are resentful, revengeful and egoistical. What walter says is true.
The education system also rewards feminine work. A heartfelt essay by a girl is graded higher than a creative alien monster story by a boy. More than half the undergrad and graduate scholarships go to women. I knew brilliant men in my MBA that got denied scholarships and a completely lazy girl who got 2 scholarships totalling 40k.
I completely agree with this. I have three sons about whom I worry. I hate the way men are portrayed in the media and I dread the self-loathing and self-harm that sometimes occurs with men (not yet with my three). I want them to feel cherished and valued.
Its simple, devote your self to Christ.....its all in the book.
This. I am a young girl, i just turned 18. I can’t help but feel that my brother will never be seen as an amazing human but nothing more than just a “boy” freedom as it is now draws a definitive line between being a woman and a man. It’s the same with race. The more they draw a line the more we will never truly understand each other. There is completely nothing wrong with acknowledging history but what do we do about it? Insult men? Kill all men movement? Is our gender a big part of our human consciousness. Isn’t being human always first before anything else we identify as. We need a balanced relationship not hatred. And i hate to see my young brother to never truly achieve his level of humanity simply because he is just a man. And i think people disregard how huge religion has played in this inequality we face. We don’t need to believe in religion to believe in God.
The worries are larger, but not for boys as much as for society as a whole. This video only presents one side of the coin. Because of these changes, women are suffering at least as much. Large percentages of women between 16 and 45 are on anti-anxiety drugs and anti-depressants. Women are complaining about not finding a "worthy" mate, or a man as successful as they perceive themselves. Others complain men are not interested in marriage or long-term commitments.
Wait until they find out what many older men have, that they spent their lives as a human resource. That material things don't replace human relationships as one ages, especially family relationships, children, and grandchildren. In addition, most women aren't enjoying their "wonderful career." They're slaving away at mind-numbing jobs as most men have for the entire industrial revolution. While robots can replace many of the jobs men do, computers and increasingly sophisticated software will replace many of the jobs college-educated women perform. Even with women obtaining more college degrees, men still get more degrees necessary in the information age.
If our society, economy, and the skills needed to survive in it change drastically, so will the demand for different types of skills and jobs. Women are obtaining the majority of law degrees and there is a glut of lawyers. What if all of the sudden we didn't need half the lawyers we do now? Drafting women into the military is being discussed more seriously than ever before. Those men who are being pushed aside are less willing to accept the inequality of the military draft. They might all of the sudden be fine with the acceptance of lowering the bar for women to enter the military and even the infantry.
@@iikii5903 women are treated worse than men just because of their gender. I am 19 and the boys make sexist comments. The whole internet is filled with men making disgusting comments and jokes on women. Let's not pretend men aren't portraying women as bad. Look around yourself and you will see how much misogyny there is.
@@wayln2591 i never disrespected our rights as women by what i said. I think it’s within our rights to fight for equality. But you say that as if all men are like that. I don’t know what country you’re living in so i can’t speak about your experience but i live in a third world country and i have men in my life that are utterly disrespectful and misogynistic but i also have men in my life that are very kind. I won’t lie and say that men are innocent but that doesn’t make me blind sided about the men that are good. I refuse to generalize them. Because at the end of it the same number of shitty men in my life is equivalent to all the women that treated me like shit too. Within 100 years when we have we have taught young boys to respect women should they be viewed as horrible? Should we teach young kids this ideology to be scared of men when young boys will grow up in the same timeline young girls grew up. That’s why i said what i said. I never hated on our rights as women. I just spoke about my 12 year old brothers rights as a boy too. I don’t want him to grow up being bullied about his height or him experiencing this hate all men. And he is the sweetest boy ever. ALL kids are victims of OUR mistakes. Regardless of their gender. I’m not saying that men are innocent I’m saying that in some aspects our response to the situation is wrong. Like how you responded to my comment. I don’t know how you’re response was to compare our struggles in this society to individual young and innocent kids (regardless of gender) to OUR mistakes. It was never my point at all.
It is refreshing to hear these concerns outlined in a way that does not pit gender issues against each other. I feel like often these issues get disregarded because either they are mixed in with sentiment that opposes feminism, or they are wrongfully assumed to be misogynistic by association through the idea that men are somehow the ones truly worse off when in reality it is not a competition.
I think some people in the comment section missed that point of the video tbh. There are some nasty men on this comment section.
Well said !
@@dididogster9994 nasty from both sexes.
The loudest and most divisive among us can't resist driving a wedge into a discussion to inflate their own egos.
@@littleman6950 yeah there’s one feminist commenter I keep seeing and honestly they’re pissing me off
Zero sum gender battles are wildly pointless if you have a shared humanity and a shared project (society). But he seemingly stresses some kind of gender differences and is adopting an approach (and ethic) of cooperation/compromise. The proposition of patriarchy was that you could build a society in a zero-sum way with very limited compromises by incurring a (grave) moral cost. So for me, the starting point has to get to the core: why should women compromise an iota relative to a solution that could serve them more? For instance, when he says boys might be advantaged by being held back a year, you might need an ethical rationale when met with the question "Are the girls served by having the boys there at all?"
I think redshirting the boys, or delaying them a year, would be a sidegrade at best. Many education professionals such as Sal Khan advocate for students getting education levels based on skills level, not age. While holding boys back a year may on average help boys, a more adaptive approach would be better.
It may even push boys back to be held back a year, as there are many examples of expectations leading to changes in performance. The implication that young boys are dumber on average to the point where they are a year behind can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes, there should be systems that help nurture boys in light of biological differences, but we need to be careful of accidentally signaling to boys they're dumb, or inferior, in the education system.
I agree here. does seem bandaid like.
seems like reform to education to make it more flexible, adaptive, and skill based can be very beneficial.
I think redshirting boys is not a good solution because many people don't understand that boys don't grow up the same way and they will be stigmatized even more for it.
Our fathers were educated in separate boys' schools from girls, they were educated appropriately in the way they needed to be, only to catch up to girls as their physiology evolved, but by saying that, it's understood as a step backwards by many people.
We could study this by comparing children born just after the start of the school year and those born just before the next one, as every class will have children up to a year apart in age. Does an early experience of trying to keep up with older children have a long term effect? If so, in what direction? Does it affect boys or girls more? Does it happen in single sex classrooms?
Plus we don't have enough data if this is purely because boys aren't as developed yet or if it is due to social circumstances. If boys are held back due to less opportunities and motivation or even teachers that discriminate against boys. I skipped several classes when I was younger and the idea of redshirting boys sounds counterproductive to me, in might even favour girls more as boys would be less socialised earlier.
Very true my friend, good point
Thank you for opening up this topic in an unbiased way with facts to back up your arguments!
Toxic gender roles still exist everywhere, upheld by both genders as I frequently hear stuff like 'women shouldn't do business, STEM, or work in construction' or 'Men shouldn't cry, do chores' or 'men are not good at caring'. With an aging population, we should indeed promote men to work in health and education industries.
In my opnion, the biggest issue men are facing now is lonliness. If men engage in skinship like women do, some would shout at them for being 'gay', and they often think that it's a weakness to share their problems and struggles on a daily basis.
The only argument I disagree with you is the point about boys starting schools one year later. Making boys join the system later when they're 'considered to be mentally behind' is the same reasoning why men in the past forbid women to do anything, because women were 'hysterical' or 'too emotional'. For centuries, most academic institues around the world were created by and for men.
Girls also experience a huge drop in self-confidence (something like 30%) from age 12 that boys don't, so does that mean girls and boys should go to differen't classes? Kids already gender toys and acitivies into 'girls' vs 'boys' so early that if you separate boys from the school, it would further make them see academia as a 'girls' thing.
I think apprenticeship in school is great not just for boys but girls too. I don't recall you showing the percentage of men in STEM, which is probably still male-dominated. If we really want to break toxic gender roles, we should have both genders doing them.
As a woman i really appreciate the author bringing light to men's issues without turning down women. We won't get any progress if we beat each other down, we need to rise together!
Is this a functioning human being on the internet? IMPOSSIBLE!!! (what you said is very true people tend to say they understand but twist it back anyway)
As a general rule, the men's rights movement is very positive towards women and equally opposed to both misogyny and misandry. For this reason, I am always amazed that it gets labelled as right-wing hate, in complete contradiction to the reality of the movement and its goals.
@@paulcoldrey3387 Not true. Unfortunately most self-proclaimed men's rights activists are just anti-feminists. True feminism and true men's right activism has lot of overlap, however isn't controversial enough for fraudsters to make money with it.
Women aren’t the problem. Feminists are the problem
"As a woman"?
Why bother?
Isn't that the point?
You want progress, but insist on enforcing separation while posting on a lavender and pink thumb.
"Boys should start school 1 years later". Wow! I started school 1 year earlier. And the fact that he explains about how boys are at a disadvantage because their later brain development is SOOOO relatable for me. I started 1st class when I was 6 (while others started at 7), and all these problems he said happened to me, + I was a target for bullies because I was always the youngest in the class.
Maybe you have a woman's brain ;)
Wow that’s shocking to me, I started 3 years earlier than normal, and I was looked up to as a role model. Different environment, different people i guess?
I started at 4, never had any issues. In fact, I felt stifled by the repetitive curriculum...this would be a disservice to people like me. His generalization that all men feel this way is so wrong.
@@matthewadams5476 He’s not saying that all men feel this way, he is saying that the data and numbers show that, on average, men are at a disadvantage in the education system than women. There will always be outliers of course, you might have been one of them, but that still doesn’t take away from the main point.
Started 1st class at 6. While in highschool didn’t care about my GPA nor my exams until few years after grad. If only I could’ve gone to school a few years later, it would make a major difference in my case. Now I’m falling behind as time comes by and this is what drags me down the hole of depression.
Powerful and to the point. Especially when it comes to fathers and sons, I’ve realised recently that I have no clear idea how to be a good father, while my elder child is turning 7 soon. Losing my father to divorce at the same age as my child now, left me with no role-model of a father, despite my dear brother and Mom trying to fill the gap. I can’t even imagine how many men are struggling to build and maintain their families to break this vicious circle of fatherless society.
Life is an imperfect balancing game. You can’t do everything perfect. You have to make tough choices; choices where there is no good answer. It’s hard to stop thinking about life and handling problems from a female perspective in a feminized society. Being a man is about being a good human, being a grown-up who can handle today and use wisdoms to see and prepare for the future. It’s about taking appropriate care of yourself so you can take care of others too, it’s about building life and health step by step. It’s about making choices that matter and being responsible for the outcomes. It’s about making your children powerful physically and emotionally. It’s about setting your children up for success by modeling and teaching principals of success. It’s about being a powerful person who is restrained instead of weak and passive. It’s about not tolerating abuse, but also not running away. You might know all these things, but I have to work on them. Most of all you have to live fully and be grateful for all that life brings. If you find the opportunity in every bad situation, be grateful, and keep moving forward, then you are never a victim no matter the hell some person or situation puts you through; strategic response and finding the silver lining in every situation is the path forward.
You won’t be a perfect dad, none are. Your kids will go through their own struggles and suffer from their own decisions. Hopefully they will learn from them. A woman has a tendency to cover and excuse; A male energy is accountability and pushing through. All humans need both. We need an internal mother and father. We need to be kind to ourselves as we reach our limits, then we need to push ourselves out again to expand on every level. Slowly we become wiser and stronger.
Victim mentality has become a sick religion as well as popular nonsense thinking. The vast majority of young adults seem to live in a complete fantasy world of childish delusion.
Jordan Peterson really brought God to life for me in some new ways, seeing the Bible through a psychological lens. Many stories about human nature are powerful guides.
The manosphere has some real truths when it comes to the sexual nature of men and women. It has important lessons about sex and attraction. Life requires both to succeed. We can’t just be warm and loving with our partners, but we must also be attractive lovers too. Men can be good without being naive.
Good luck on your fathering journey!
Yup, exactly. I have seen this same pattern over and over as a 26 year high school teacher. I watch as more and more boys are raised by divorces single women. The reason? No more Christ. He taught us all the right way to live and lead. Now, we have feminism hating real men, LGBTQ hating real men, etc and we are in conflict with our natural desire to lead vs these groups using the government to bully men into submission and becoming something unnatural.
I also lost my father to divorce around 7, but I'm a few years ahead with my son now 15. He is doing exceptionally well at life, a national leader in his field which is difficult to guide correctly in particular since he is so frequently traveling the world. This leaves me with the role of being as effective and influential as I can be in the shortest time periods possible.
My approach has to be dial everything up. When he is back we work out in the gym together every second day, no question. These are not light workouts, they are the toughest he faces and he has the benefit of trained fitness coaches. When we talk he knows that every subject is an iceberg and that dad is just giving the highlights. IN these talks I often cover "Why things are as they are" which often boils down to psychology arising from evolutionary biology and in particular approaches that help him deal with people and problem situations. While I draw on some of the worlds best for my own learning he is always left with the impression that he just got the overview and can come back to it at any point.
Critically, I'm not just a source of good advice and hard workouts, but I live the life. I feel that this is the most important factor. What my son sees is that I live my life to my own principles and that I ultimately backstop all responsibility in the family and that responsibility is a form of identity.
In short, the first step to being a good dad, is not really to 'try and be a good dad', the first step is to be a person worthy of him wanting to be like, 'being a good dad' then is merely how to share with him a trail that leads where you went that he can choose to follow. He won't follow you all the way because he will be his own man, but, if you are a solid male and you pointing him roughly in that direction with the knowledge that you will always have more answers that you have already given the rock solid knowledge gives him the comfort to do the same thing you did in the same way you did it. This is counterintuitive part. For him to be great, he has to do some of the parts entirely himself by NOT following you. The goal is to get him to the point of not needing you but somehow achieving the same independence you have with the least trauma along the way, not to get there without an challenge at all.
Try this approach above, and I think you and he will be ok. Be sure in your mind though, you have to be at the centre of you. Doing this to be a good dad is never work o a goal, it's more like the excess from an overflowing cup. Don't 'try' do be a good dad and do things 'for' him, enjoy time with him. Be a good person first, be an example of something he would like to be. If you have absolutely no idea of what the hell you are doing there is a list on the internet called "Manning 101" Go find that. Tick off everything on the list, as you get towards the end you won't care about the list as you'll know exactly what you want the ending to look like. Start with weightlifting, which years from now you son will ask to be a part of.
Lastly, an important part of fathering is to give you boy the space to fail with dire consequence, but, the space to fail and suffer. There is no greater teacher in life than failure and modern society absolutely fails boys by attempting to keep them so safe they fail to find any meaningful failure and are unequipped to know that failure is the best tool you have to find success. Success without substantial failures teachings you knowing about how you got there. Easy success is worthless. 1 success in 5 makes that 1 so much sweeter than non stop winning. Best of luck.
I think relying on rolemodels is what's wrong with the world.
If we keep mimicking older generations then there is no improvement.
Being a good father is really hard. Much harder than being a mother, as children have a much stronger affection towards their mother. I wish you luck and patience on figuring out your everyday father-dilemmas.
@@nathanielacton3768
"responsibility is a form of identity"
I think that is one of the best fatherly value that one can impart to their children.
You sounds like a great father, man, and a great guy in general!
Im very happy to watch this video and see that im not alone in this.
For the longest time I haven’t been able to form real connections with people, usually i get deemed as annoying or just a third wheel, Im the person in a group thats just THERE but never really speaks because I know they will just ignore me entirely.
Sometimes I wish to stay in my bed indefinitely, not having to deal with the reality of my empty life.
But I continue to move on, since I know things will get better, hopefully.
I'm absolutely flabbergasted finding this, and extremely grateful.
I have been saying for some time now, that men are struggling too, and we all need to find a way to work together.
We have been living in a world that is broken in many ways.
We really MUST find a way forward in unity.
Love, light, peace and healing to all who need it ✨
I was a teacher assistant in my early 20 and my first week a young girl ran up to me and put her arms around me to hug me and I picked her up so her arms were in a more appropriate place (instead of just ripping her off me) and then immediately put her down and said hi! Now go back to your seat. Later in the day a female teacher said I was being sexually inappropriate. I quit that day.
Completely understandable. As a 21 year old man. I avoid children at all cost. Not because I'm a bad person or anything. But because in modern society our entier life can be destroyed simply because a person will see a grown man near a child and automaticly assume the worst. One accusation later and your life gets flushed down drain.
How old was this girl and where were her arms?
@@theonlineanimal6009 I'm actually alarmed when I am in a situation with a child or a woman, like if I'm next to one on an airplane. Nothing against kids or women but the risks are too high and men would always be presumed guilty.
Aye… bingo! have one instance of being blindsided by an antagonistic misjudgment in this regard, there is no contribution to society worth the risk after that shock
@@Craig_Hilbig No there is not. A man's life can be ruined in an instant for nothing he did.
This video resonated with me on a profound level. Alot of the issues being discussed here caused me to check out so many times during my own personal development. It caused me to become very isolated and detached from most social aspects of life. The upside to this is that it caused me to decide to take my development into my own hands, which in some ways curtailed me but thankfully I have strong support system and my desire to grow continues to motivate me daily. Although this video advocates for men, these issues should be seen as human issues. We should all be open to understanding these issues, working to improve upon them and supporting people of both genders. Our egos should take a back seat to allow for us to be vulnerable enough to aid one another in the complexities that existence presents to us as human beings.
wow that last sentence really hit that home, agreed.
Wow everything you said touched my heart, as a woman I feel like men are being diminished in society in many ways. But men are human also and they go through a lot in life, from childhood through adulthood and the things they go through are dismissed by many people. I'm sorry you went through what you went through but I'm glad you've made personal progress. Kudos to you👍😃
I couldn’t have said it any better, I agree completely🥲❤️
Brava, excellent comment
Good comment but the last part made it a woman issue when it isn't, women have their own movements and advocate groups
The high school I went to had an equal gender ratio, however, pretty much every award given at graduation was given to a girl. We also had a voting system on who we wanted to be valedictorian, (yes, it’s a weird format) and every candidate was a girl.
I believe that this gender gap was caused in part by the low development in boy’s brains in teenage hood compared to girl’s brains, as stated in the video. It was obvious that the boys never really cared all that much about their education, while the girls were joining clubs, leading the student body, and being very diligent with their academics. On top of this, there were programs at our school which supported women in education, so it just stockpiled into a huge head start for many girls in their early life, while the boys were being left in the dust.
I do agree with the notion against picking a side. This isn’t a gender war. I noticed that in my school, boys and girls had this sort of social divide between them, and it caused a silent anger between both sides that would only be revealed during debates in class. We need to be on the side of humanity, not only on the side of whatever social structures we belong to.