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This is one of your videos i could not even concider sharing. I understand what you were trying to say but as others have commented, it was presented in sutch a way that will make alot of people (especially those who suffer with anxiety, and i recognise this from a personal battle with anxiety and depression ) feel like shit... And i could never do that to them. Sadly this video is borderline encourages their anxiety by making them feel guilty for ever starting to have self confidence or think that they sre an ok person, and therefore making things worse. Frankly, i expected better from this channel.
@@josef5341 I totally agree with you, I have had my problems, my bad side and my bad time. From this I learned a lot and understood that evil as pure evil doesn't exist but everyone thinks he is right, so I understand how that works. After this premise, I'll never say that I'm not a good person because I know I can always do better and always will by sharing and collecting the many points of view that everyone has. Saying that a good person always thinks that it's not a good person is a premise for a very depressed, introverted and borderline neurotic person
In the translated to Spanish version of the video title it translates "work out" as in "figuring out" as "work out" as in "exercise". If you could change it it would be "saber" as "to know" instead of "ejercitar". If u can't change it it's fine. Greetings from Argentina
It's not even about what it says to people, it's about doing what's right. PS Just don't conflate being good with being naive. I don't know a single person that didn't regret attempting to give first aid to a drunk hobo after it ended up in them getting stabbed. Just remember the sample size is 2, 3 if we count having skull fractured by a dude that had a full bottle instead of a shank.
its about inversion of good for evil and vice versa as Scripture says. I would say I am a good person that is genuinely interested in harmony among my fellow man and gets irritated by evil doings and unrighteousness. you should know them by their fruits, scripture says, watch the children to better understand the shortcomings of the parents :)
Himmmmm, thanks a lot for the quote! But of course we can disagree with Marcus Aurelius too.Because no man can be entirely wise at every single moment. That statement sounds a bit too black and white. As if you can " either be good" or " argue about it". Having ethical discussions about what is good, fair and worthy is very important. We can discuss these issues and help each other to become better people. Michael Sandel's lectures on justice are full of examples of these. I highly recommend everyone to check him out! Thanks again. Have a nice evenig!
Thinking that one is a “good” person doesn’t mean being unaware of one’s “bad” parts..Seeing the good in yourself despite the imperfections (that you know about already) may sometimes be the key to seeing it in others as well no matter how imperfect they seem to be.
I agree . I had very similar thought while watching this. I kinda got the impression that you need to be a nervous wreck who is constantly anxious about how you are acting to be a good person, but as a person who has and does suffered with several kinds of anxiety that is not healthy. And yea according to the videos defentivtion you might be "good" but you are also in a constant social pain that makes living that good life a living hell
when reading the title “are you a good person” I felt nah well maybe I could be one but I don’t actively pursue good acts and am on the lazy side and I’m not as kind/unbiased as I used to be as a youth. But do I think i’m a bass person. no i don’t because i try to stay in my lane. before the vid I was like i’m 50% good 10% rude & selfish and 40% an apathetic observer. Maybe I’ll pull up my socks a bit ;)
“Are you a good person?” “Okay, okay i need to start being a bit more confident in myself, so id say that im a pretty decent person.” “WRONG, YOU VILLAIN!”
Yeah this video is such shit. I was expecting them to come out and say "psych" after they kept on saying grossly oversimplified black and white statements.
1:10 I don't agree. Good doesn't mean perfect. Good isn't the top of the mountain. A good person still makes mistakes and does bad things from time to time. Considering this, I think you could answer the question "Are you a good person?" perfectly well with a "Yes" without being a bad/egocentric person.
I think that Is relative to who you are comparing yourself to. If you are comparing yourself to a death row inmate that did his crimes, then if you are not a death row inmate the answer would be yes, but if you are comparing yourself to the one who is blameless and has never done wrong then the answer would be no. Just like everything in life it all about perspective.
Same, as much as I like listening to School of Life's videos about...well everything. I feel like you can be a good person and recognise that you are, without being egotistical and boastful. I do, granted I do fall into pits of self doubt. But I usually try to think that because I label past actions as wrong (which most of them are) I know not to do it again. So I believe I'm a better person because of it, still not perfect though.
i'd prefer an answer of "i don't know". situations and behavior is very much dependent on perspective. i'm not perfectly good but i'm not perfectly bad either. am i good or bad? i don't know.
Something I’ve realised from this channel is that you aren’t born selfless or kind. It is something you are taught or teach yourself; only you can make the decision to try and become a better person - concretely, treat those you consider beneath you with respect and cultivate a positive attitude through your actions, and your mind will eventually believe all those things
But . . . but . . . being self-aware enough to realize that you are flawed and are not without error is the key. I would never claim to be flawless, but I would indeed say that I'm a good person, because I can recognize that I am flawed. I think there is a problem in the absolute nature of the determinism of this episode.
I hate to burst your bubble but a truly good person doesn’t think highly of themselves and they realize how immoral they actually are without belittling their own immorality by saying stuff like “I’m not perfect” or “I have flaws” or “I make mistakes” or “I’m only humans” because only LOSERS say those things a truly good person will straight up admit he’s guilty of being an immoral degenerate piece of shit and feel remorseful over it and tries to better himself rather than feed his own pride and ego by thinking highly of himself and believing he’s a good person like the fool would do
When my guinea pig toots, he sometimes toots in toot putts, as his fluffy self wobbles along. Its kinda like starting up an old engine, or something - john legoizamo, in that firefighter movie
@Martha Speaks That's a good question. He had to be right? "A good person is someone that has ability to be a monster but chooses not to be" but what happens when you have to make that choice of being a monster to be that good person. Taking a life of a home invader for the protection of your family for example. Or sending out a flood to wipe out the "wicked" to save the "pure".
If you feel afraid that you're a monster, maybe you are nervous of your own resentful feelings. In which case, I'd suggest respecting those feelings and asking yourself why you feel resentful. Maybe some people are treating you rudely or unfairly. It could be a case of calmly saying, Please don't be rude to me. However in your culture or family it may not be safe to do so, but you can still respect your wish to be treated with courtesy. You are not a monster. Please respect yourself and value the gifts you bring into the world.
“The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.” ― Abigail Van Buren
In which case vegans would rate super high right... because animals have the least power to defend themselves... provided animals are in the reckoning...
@@knowthyselfandyoullknowthe8216 I loved your username. It reminded me of these quotes. “He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.” ― Lao Tzu “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” ― Mahatma Gandhi “Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ― C.G. Jung “People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
I seriously don't think it is this simple. A lot of truly evil people I've known genuinely admit to being evil and even take pride in being anything but good. On the other side, I've known truly good people who wouldn't answer no. Normaly they'd say something like 'I try to be good' or 'I try to be my best version'. I think it's totally plausible to be both self-aware and good/bad. In the end, self - awareness is the only quality that can lead to a change for the better.
Swanky Garbage at times doing good is so simple and takes no effort. I started to focus on doing more good 😁 I leave food by the door at a food bank, at time good clothes. Someone will see it and find it a blessing
I’ve tried to ignore this video for a while every time it pops up on my feed out of fear that it will tell me that good people don’t think they’re good. I’ve struggled with this since I was young. At first I believed that if I did good I will be liked and if I do bad I am hated. It has taken me this long and I’m not even sure if I’m there yet to be able to say to myself “I am a good person and if I can’t help everyone, I am still a good person.” “If I make a mistake, I am still a good person.” “If I say no, I am still a good person” If you asked me a year ago if I believed I was a good person I would have immediately said no. But I am glad I realised that concept I had of myself was detrimental to my mental and physical health. Most of this video might be true, but I hope others who might be like me can see past it and know, if you truly think you are a good person, you are still a good person.
Modesty has it's limits too ... If you constantly think that you are not a good person, wouldn't that cause to hurt yourself and by default that would make you a bad person since you are causing harm to someone, yourself?
Wonderful observation. On a subconscious level, I'd like to think I ''got'' the effective use of black and white, but the shared insights of the most perceptive people is ALWAYS appreciated!
This is PTSD, not being "good". I can know I am good. Without a heavy conscience, and with the surety that I am a light in the world. I strongly disagree with this one.
Exactly what Cynthia said. Would every person that knows you describe you with those same words? Have you never lied before? Have you never been a dick before? A good person would never say they are good because they know they are inherently flawed and could always be better. When Alain is saying no, it's very easy to misunderstand it as if that somehow implies that you are a bad person but that's not what he's saying. The point is that you are neither good or bad, you are a human capable of doing both depending on the situation and if you don't realize that then you still have a long way to go
I think Alain de Botton has important contributions to make e.g. he has stimulated this interesting discussion. He isn't a perfect human. No one is. However imperfect people can still help others to develop useful insights. I'm imperfect and so is everyone but it's likely that most of us have helped to make the world a somewhat better place already today. Just the simple act of driving carefully has saved lives, thanks to you and me. That alone is a very significant contribution to make.
I wanna hug people who were treated harshly when they tried to be good. Even if being “good” leads to pain, or people take your kindness for weakness, keep doing good. Keep putting the need of others over your own fear, it is worth it. Even if it’s moving snail out of the way of a car🙏❤️it’s important
Wait so in order to be "good" you constantly have to feel guilty in some way? That sounds wrong to me, it would mean that a "good" person is never going to be happy. Defined this way, personally I wouldn't want to be a good person.
Nah, it's about the awareness for your own capacity for evil, and the constant assessment of your own thoughts and actions. If you ever become "satisfied", and stop thinking about your mindset and stop looking for ways you should improve, then you lose that self awareness that helps you make those good decisions in the first place. So yes, you do have to contemplate on it as a constant practice, even if it's a repetitive pain in the ass
@@Jacob-wz7pm That is not what is said in the video. According to the video you can only be good if you suspect yourself to be a monster, constantly have a guilty conscience and lie awake at night thinking about your character flaws.
Yup narcissistic individuals always play victim and say they are good but with bad people lol. My sympathies to you for your mother. I've had "friends" that were..... can't imagine a parent.
Exactly :/ You can be confident without being doubtful. I think the point was that, “ good people” think of their actions before they take them and how they effect others, always or most likely reflect how their actions went and what to correct or if they misjudged someone. However, that has nothing to do with knowing you’re a good person. You can be confident about that, but also thoughtful of your actions. This video just didn’t make sense at all.
Marina_ 88 Yes! This guy has such a narrow understanding. He’s describing the self-critic, the person who pushes themselves up a mountain and is never good enough, but this is not the only way to do “good.” In fact, I find this quite a suffocating energy, its very narrow. People who do good things, because it makes them feel good, because they are just kind and they are confident in who they are and the choices they have made, are also incredible people. They glow, they are magnetic, they inspire love and openness. This kind of whipped mule behaviour that he’s talking about is almost a flaw. Why can’t you be free and accept who you are, and love yourself??? I’m tired of this shit
When you've spent 6 years in therapy suffering from severe ptsd and paranoia.. then watch this video saying if you think you're a good person, which therapy is based around making you feel - re-building your sense of self and character, then you're not a good person. Thanks. The slap in the face needed. Thanks for making a complex issue seem black and white, and therefore problematic to viewers. This video is very dangerous for mental health.
@@cobruh836 Sorry to hear that. As a stranger on the internet I can't offer much solace, but please accept this penguin: 🐧 I hope you'll feel better soon!
Sounds like you're conflating goodness with self-doubt and insecurity, you don't need self-doubt in order to be humble. And obviously you can be humble while still acknowledging your goodness, for being such an intellectual channel the lack of nuance in this video is quite fascinating
@@rexiioper6920 Nope, modesty is the root of humility. Self-doubt, more often than not, is a character distortion that is root of many mental disorders like social anxiety and depression.
I don't know if I really believe this video, because psychopaths admit they're bad people and I don't think anyone has to think they're a bad person in order to be good. I think good people understand that nothing is black and white. My answer to the question "are you a good person" is "I hope so," because only other people can really say how good I am
I literally answered yes......... i truly dont believe im a bad person though, i have bad qualities that i put effort/work on, i think that my intentions are good which makes me a “good person”
If you think of it this way, answering "No" doesn't mean you're the exact opposite of good. If your answer is "I try" or "I hope so", then your answer to the question is technically "No". If you're not constantly assessing yourself, you become complacent and fall into the same traps described in the video
Rex Oper i cant really intent badly towards people no matter how much i dislike them. I feel like it isnt the right way to live and is a waste of time. I also heavily believe on karma so even when i do think of getting back at someone to harm them i tell myself im better than that and good things will come to me anyway
... I‘m confused. After answering „yes“, am I a bad person then? I know damn well that I‘m not perfect and make mistakes. But I try to learn from it not letting it all tear me down. I know I do the best I can everyday, does that not make me a good person?
This video is not black or white, it is in fact grey. If you think saying no to being a good person automatically implies that you are a bad person, that merely reflects how black and white your perception is. You can be good and bad simultaneously, as a matter of fact that's exactly what we are. Realising that you are capable of both, is realising that you are neither good or bad, and both at the same time. It's a paradox.
I feel as though this might have just made a lot of perfectly ordinary, kind, honest folk feel rather bad about themselves. Perhaps before you ask the question you might have to explain what you mean by “good person” first.
Yes, or you could decide not to use such simplistic words as good and bad. You could ask Do you help people sometimes? Or Do you find time to contribute to the environment movement?
This video probably encourages depressions. I feel like they tell everyone "if you think you know what's good, then you're wrong" making anyone feels unsure about themselves. Good is a word used in society and like every abstract word no one knows the perfect definition. But if you can't say if something is good or not the word doesn't make any sense. Wittgenstein emphasizes it: The meaning of a word is the meaning of how we use it. This video has a complete different view of the word "good" and how we use this noun in society. The same thing with "bad" or "evil". So. I would say, if someone is fighting peacefully against poverty by not hurting anyone, I would use the word "good" and there should be no shame about it (and there are more examples out there). Society makes good-ness, not random definitions.
You are digging into an area that has nothing to do with this. You can't be a good person until you realise that you are capable of doing bad things and despite that choose to do good. You have lied before, you have hurt people before and yet somehow your first thought when asked if you are a good person is to say yes? Do you not see the tremendous ego and lack of self-awareness behind that. Why wouldn't you describe yourself as a bad person? Because it destroys the idolized persona you have created about yourself? You don't ascribe good or bad to yourself, that's what other people who have interacted with you do. Now ask yourself the question, would every person you have ever met describe you as a geniunely good person?
But if you have depression you probably lack the self esteem or confidence to say that you're a good person with certainty. At best you'd reply "I don't know" or "at times". Which still counts as skepticism.
I don't think such judgemental assessments as good and bad are useful. It's more helpful to evaluate a potential friend by asking yourself, "Does this person seem sincere and is s/he genuinely trying to make our friendship work well or is s/he just taking advantage of others or tricking people or being manipulative or even threatening people?" A sincere person can still make social blunders or be a bit selfish at times but s/he is mostly trying to make things work satisfactorily for all concerned.
@@tracesprite6078 I mean, what's the definition of "sincere"? Obviously the meaning of how we use it, ain't? Otherwise it's the same as meaningless. That's the problem of abstract words. Either we should give them the meaning of the society or we risk that the words don't have any meaning. I could say, I'm sincere but if I use the word in a different way than society, what does it count?
Self healing, meditating, and practice of genuine compassion leads to confident answers of "yes" to this question. I am a good person, not because I'm perfect, but because I try and put forth the effort to be pleasant to my environment and for myself.
Calling yourself a good person will ALWAYS lead to you becoming more of an asshole a wise person will ask himself/herself if they’re a good person where as a fool will tell themself that they’re good
I came here ready to hate on the reductive title but was completely blown away but the quality of this video. Wonderful work, very cognizant. Describes a simple truth that I feel I came into the video intuiting but wasn't able to articulate properly, and for that thank you for making this
0:17 'Always, always answer no'. If someone asked if I am a good person, I would say yes. Yet I lie awake many nights worrying about my interactions and how I could've made them better, or improve them in future. I'm always looking to improve myself and be a better person still. I've been nominated for volunteering awards and my partner (who knows me very well) says I'm the kindest most trustworthy person he has ever known, and that I make him want to be a better person. I see a psychiatrist weekly and do my best to become more self aware and have the best impact I can in other people's lives. I know how hard I try to be happy and a good person, and I strongly believe that I am one. But according to your video I am not a good person. And while I definitely don't believe that to be the case, I find it hurtful that you believe it.
The video is hurtful because of the simplistic judgemental words "good" and "bad". It's more useful to ask yourself questions like "Well, how did that conversation go? Did I really listen well?" And if you feel you didn't because your back was hurting, you might make a point of later asking some caring questions in a subsequent phone call. You can keep on working on being a caring person without giving yourself marks out of ten. If you have a day at work where you're not at your best, it's not helpful to say, "I'm a bad person. " but rather, "That day didn't go well. I'd better make sure I have an early night so I can be more helpful and hardworking tomorrow." We are all works-in-progress and perfection will never be part of our natures.
@@tracesprite6078 Yas! Also it doesn't make sense. "Bad" is subjective, so we'll most likely answer that with our perception of what Bad is. "Bad" for me are those people with mass shooting capabilities, rapists, murderers, bombers, pedos, mostly in that spectrum. So no I don't want to answer I am a bad person. 🤣
@@arvi8843 Yes, I agree. I feel like Alain has a picture of those old fashioned monks who had to be very humble all the time. No one in modern society goes up to a new acquaintance and asks, "Are you good or bad?" In a job interview, people ask things like, "What qualities do you have that will help you to do this job?" They don't want the person to say things like, "Well, I'm 80% good and 10% mediocre and 10% bad." Similarly, as we get to know a friend, we notice things like, that this person is very tactful and encouraging but that when they get tired, they can be rather grumpy. We might explain aspects of our own personality e.g. "I really enjoy talking about my job but if you start giving me advice about my weight problem, well I'm pretty over-sensitive about that." or "I really valued talking about the problems you wanted to discuss but I know that I tend to give a lot of advice, so please stop me if I overdo it." Those kinds of self-assessments are helpful but vague words like good and bad are old fashioned and unhelpful.
you're lying, people who think they're truly a good person never lie awake about their own actions and never feel remorse when they do anything cruel to hurt others
I think you missed the mark on this one. Negative self perception/self-talk doesn't make a good person. It just makes you feel bad about yourself and judge others more harshly. Self-directed love and kindness are the route to self improvement. I understand that I am not perfect, but, at my core, I am good. Therefore I will challenge myself to be kinder and unlearn the negative coping mechanisms that have gotten me through hard times. And I will treat others as though they are on the same journey.
Key distinction here as I'm seeing some confusion in the comments: This video refers to being a Good Person in the capital "G" philosophical sense, not the generic sense of being generally good. The word has at least two meanings: 1) Good as in Good-vs-Evil, righteous, just, and pure; 2) Good as in decent, appropriate, worse than excellent but better than bad. I can eat a good meal, you can be good at sports, be a good friend, and in general, yeah, maybe you're a good/decent person. But to be a Good Person - truly embody the philosophical sense of Good-ness as righteousness and justice - requires a purer sense than we generally use in day-to-day Life. Casually asking "Hey, are they a good person?" is different than using the same words to ask the deeply probing and earnest question, "In your heart, deep down, do you believe you are actually a Good person?" The answer to the first can usually be a "Yes" while the answer to the second should - in this video's opinion - by a "No". (My go-to answer is "I try" which I suppose avoids answering it and means "No" anyway.)
Yeah saying if you answer ''no'' you're not a good person is a gross oversimplification. Few people out there are truly bad, just because you're not perfect all the time doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you're human :)
The best way to judge another’s character is to see how they treat people lower on the social spectrum than themselves, if they consistently treat them with respect and dignity it’s a good person if they treat them like garbage they are not.
I thought yes, can I not choose to affirm and own the good I have done in my journey so far? Being someone who isn't easy on themselves - I would usually anchor myself with the good I've done and the good I'm still going to do. If I can't recognise what I've done as good and require reassurance from others then would I not be left in a unhealthy head space? I believe, at times, it's important to experience the good in others and acknowledge that everyone has the capacity to be good or bad. Some try their best to see the good in others until they are proven wrong but that's where forgiveness, reconciliation and other factors come into play. We should strive for good and recognise when we do good, I'll never believe in rejecting that mindset for the latter.
What I absolutely love about this video is the black & white theme. A dichotomy between the "goodness" and "badness" of people may not always be the best approach, but in this particular setting you'd be supporting an argument from this subtle point of view. Amazing!
The “price” of that constant doubt also includes the risk of self-hatred, of blaming yourself for more than is likely your fault. Sometimes you need to figure out for yourself whether you did the right thing in certain situations because not everyone is willing to tell you or be around to tell you what you did wrong. “Good” people, in the way described in this video, also need to have good judgement of others. Such self-doubt when taken to such a level can lead to you being blamed and manipulated. Nice point, but I feel like the info alone could make the impression on some viewers to act in a way that leaves them vulnerable without realising how it could.
I've read somewhere that narcissistic people sometimes tell others of how they're bad and about what they did, but at the same time flatter the other and 'act' seemingly good. A very manipulative move in this case. People look more at actions then at words, so they think 'Okay, they're at least honest, so they can't be that bad of a person.' They think the narcissist might have had reasons for their bad deeds etc. This way the narcissist on one hand wins the person for themselves with being seemingly honest but on the other hand excuses himself from any future bad deed because 'I told you I was bad.' So if a person you are getting to know flat out tells you they're a bad person, you should consider believing them. It's different, of course, from you asking them weather they think they're 'good' , but still a valuable insight, I think.
I want to thank Alain and his team for their attempts at articulating hard to tackle notions which perhaps for some of us are vague yet strong intentions/feelings/ideas/tendencies. Much appreciated.
I'm usually entirely on board with your videos but I kind of disagree with this one. I agree that good people are aware of the fact that they are in fact not always good people... but you said straight up asking someone and them saying "yes" means they are not a good person. That's a little radical. You can be aware that you can be an asshole at times and still have faith in your own commitment to trying to be better every day.
He didn't say answering yes meant you were a bad person. This specific test is to see if someone is good, not if they are bad. Answering "No" doesn't explicitly mean "I think I'm bad". It means "I don't grow complacent and start thinking of myself as good"
A little radical? It´s totaly extreme point of view. And very harmful to all good people with low self-esteem who constantly see flaws in themselves and are easily abused by the bad ones.
My answer to the question is i don't know, because I know can be mean and do bad things sometimes, but I feel like I am becoming more aware of myself and the things I do. I'm glad I found this video so that I could humble myself more.
C) Raise a fist knowing the survival is the first and only requirement, agree with the mob so momentarily you are safe, know that they are a rapid religious cult, know that any direct opposition only solidifies their fury, know you live another day. A space to rebel against the tyranny of hysteria. *that is a long excuse for being a coward son* Sometimes patience is the virtue of the hour.
@@chloearavani960 Yes. TSoL was amazing the first 2 or 3 years of its existence. Since then it has seemingly run out of ideas and put out so much crap like this.
Thinking you're a good person might be a result from a long time questioning yourself about this topic, but that doesn't turn you automatically bad. It's a result from recgonizing your own acts, but it doesn't mean changing them later on.
The video didn't say that though. It focusses on the people who have inner turmoil over their qualities as a whole vs those who externalize responsibility.
I have a shitty relationship with my family. My dad's been gone since I was 20 something, my brother and I don't speak at all, but we don't hate each other. And my relationship with my mother goes throw fits of toxicity and selfless/selfish love. I can tell others I love her but I can't remember when I last hugged her. I only kiss her and mess with her jokingly when I'm drunk. With this in mind I immediately said No. And I started to realize I'm not all that good to anyone except strangers. But my actions are different and similarly in social situations, I don't post online the charitable things I do besides on this one comment. I find myself giving things to homeless who I feel are "worthy" of my kindness. I've helped old ladies in wheelchairs get home, help ppl with groceries in my job when I'm on my break. Put money in sleeping homeless ppls pockets. I listen to ppl who obviously need to talk alot and let them speak because alot of ppl don't really care what they have to say and it's so noticable. I work decently at my job cuz it's fairly easy and tedious work but also take alot of breaks and procrastinate. Ppl have told my bosses how good of a worker I am but I'm almost never to work on time and I'll choose to not go on a sheer whim and because my depression makes me not care. Socially I can be quiet and funny. But I'm very Ill mannered whenever I don't feel like talking. I'll be very stoic and quiet and I won't care what anyone has to say. Ill just go to work and not speak to anyone or even say hi or acknowledge ppl who want to speak. Dating is almost never happened to me because I don't really care to understand someone who has interest in me. I'm always thinking they just want something from me I can't give them so I sabotage their sentiments just like when I don't feel like socializing. I really only try to charm a woman who I have no interest besides sex and I'm never brave enough to even try to engage on that. I end up cock blocking myself because I feel I'm not worthy of love. It's strange because I feel alot of ppl aren't worthy of love themselves but yet they're in their toxic relationships and failing marriages. I doubt I'm a good person through and through but my only saving grace is I'm aware of the horrible things I do and say to myself. And I try to negate that by making others feel much better than I ever could. But my love is very selfish.
I thought the answer at 0:40 was: "sometimes'. If you say 'no', then you are also self-deprecating. Because sometimes you just feel that you are a good person.
this assumes that the answer always comes from someone who is “good”, I bet lots of evil person know they are evil and are honest about it. Thus when asked “are you a good person”, an evil person would say “no”, and hes right.
If someone admits they are a bad person, maybe you can talk to them about why they choose to be evil. If you know their motivations, then maybe you can teach them a better way. The worst people are those that blindly follow ideologies and can do incredible harm. Think communist dictators and their purges of society, killing millions. They believe they are good people doing an important job.
Jaime Warlock monsters know what they do is evil, and that it needs to be done. You can’t talk them out of it. Sometimes people boil things down to simply “it is what it is” to help them look in the mirror and not get disgusted with themselves.
@@anonymous49125 How so? How is the inherent and default condition of a person not to be good? I feel The Bible talking. Either that or Machiavelli. We all, me and you, have both good and bad in us. Some moreso than others. To suggest that just in order to be good we have to exert ourselves is to suggest that people are inherently evil...which, once again, leads us back to The Bible. Whics is *most certainly* not a true guide to a human soul.
Leo feel free to do so Leo :D It can be applied to many things. I don’t consider myself an humble person but I also don’t like do brag or anything. I’m an illustrator for example and the worst question I can get is asking if I am good at it. And I respond in the same manner. Because as an illustrator... you are always very critical of your own work, as you are of yourself as a person.
@@leoisforevercool But then you're avoiding the truth. We should be able say, no I'm not good but i try to be. Wanting to believe you are comes off as lying to yourself, which in turn is weakness becuase you can't confront the reality of the matter. “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:” - Romans 3:10
I don't think being 'good' or 'bad' is mutually exclusive, so of course when asked 'Am I good' I'd say 'yes'. If asked 'am I bad' I'd say, 'yes, at times, although I try not to be - and really it depends on your definition'.
For those who read this: Keep chasing your dreams 💪🏽 motivate yourself and you will be amazed with the results after 1 year! I wish everybody good luck with their journey 🍀
There's definitely good and bad and we're the ones who decide where the line lies. We have become extremely good at neglecting the fact that most things belong in the gray zone, depending on the said circumstances, intentions and necessities. I believe this entire idea of _'good guys vs bad guys'_ that has been engrained in many people's minds is responsible for this.
@@ivareskesner2019 As long as society exists, there will be good and bad.. Unless we live alone or start a new culture.. Maybe the good can't exist without the bad, and the bad can't exist without the good.. Maybe the idea of good vs bad is "seperation", and if one can't exist without the other, doesn't it makes it a "whole"?
Our ability and readiness to acknowledge our flaws is at the root of being/becoming a good person. It is the constant practice of this predominant virtue that augments our other good qualities while transforming our bad ones. That’s what I got out of this video.
Yes I'm a good person. Its as simple as that, nothing complex in the mix and no over thinking it. I disagree with your perspective in this video. Knowing that I'm a good person and owning it doesnt mean I'm perfect, but then being good shouldn't be seen as a person claiming to be a matyr, it is just what it is.
@Pablo Insano its easy for you to throw the word around. Do you really know what a narcissistic personality disorder is? Its a clinical diagnosis, stop throwing words around when you're not sure what it means
You can’t call yourself a good person and think your a good person and be humble both at once and in order to be a truly good person you have to be humble the more good you think you are the more egotistical prideful judgmental and unforgiving you’ll become
the thing is, there's layers to this. not just good and bad. there's great, and terrible, there's considerate, and inconsiderate, giving, and selfish. i myself am not an evil person, i wouldn't malicisouly hurt someone on purpose, unless they deserved it, and i was legally allowed too do so, which is and never will be the case, but am i good? hard to say. we all have darkness, don't we?
I do not EVER trust people who say they would never intentionally hurt others if anyone is most likely to be hypocritical and self righteous it’s going to be the people who say “I would never intentionally hurt others”
I think some people might be missing the point of this video, and heck, maybe even I missed it. But I feel like what they were trying to say, regardless of how it was worded, is that for one to truly be good it takes a great deal of self-revisionism. You may think of yourself as a good person, but if you lack the ability to look inside yourself and admit to the errors of your past and present you can’t yet start making a positive impact on the lives of others who are just as flawed as you. To be good is to understand that everyone is flawed and no one will ever be perfect, only then you’ll be able to empathize with your fellow human and do whatever is within your power to ease their conscience. That’s true kindness.
No he’s saying being a good person isn’t a guilt free trip where you never get to feel like a bad person it’s the exact opposite it’s letting go of your ego and question your own morality that’s truly being a good person saying “nobody is perfect everyone makes mistakes” isn’t good enough and doesn’t count because a lot of people use that as a cop out being a truly good person is understanding you sometimes are intentionally selfish mean or cruel on purpose and that you don’t just make “mistakes”
A lot of people missing the point. Hitler thought he was "doing good". Truly good people self-reflect to find things they don't like in themselves, and seek to improve their relationship with other people while minimizing harm. That is what "doing good" is actually about.
For most everyday cases this might be true, but a bad person can also easily trick that system, once they know your question. If you just want to "self test" if you are good, try observing how many bad thoughts you have. If there's a lot of them, chances are you aren't that good, as words and deeds originate from thoughts!
Is no one going to talk about how smooth and mesmerizing those transitions were! I was straight away shot into focus to the video! Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!
I think it also has to do with the fact that people who say no, but still try to be their best selves, are trying their best to be good people. I don't think there is such a thing as ''good people'', because to some people what seems good to them is bad to others. Like how when people see themselves as ''good people'', and still act to as what most people would say are bad things. I think, that if everyone just tries their best to be as good of a human as one can be, that is enough.
No one's good and no one's evil either at the beginning. It is just the dominating part of ourselves (either good or bad) which makes us one. The answer of 'no' (when asked from a good person) comes from a person who's aware of its badness. Those who think they're doing 'good' how much evil they are, it is 'cause of the obliviousness at their part.
If complicated questions like these could be answered in a 5 minute video (or by one-liners like some have posted) we would all be living in a utopia with no more questions left unanswered. Good by one's standard can be different from another's, a person who is not even trying to be good by any standard might say "no" too, etc etc. So it's a nice little idea here, but I hope people will put more thought into the matter than this. On the same thought, I think a more reasonable way of answering this test for someone who wants to be good by their standard is "I try to be".
There is no such thing as a bad person, we are all born as pure babies full of goodness. Our terrible environments we are born in(could be our parents, violent neighbourhoods, bullying or lack of healthy role mode) shape the vulnerability and that makes our society label people with a terrible background as bad people
Sorry School of Life, but when asked, I answer, "Yes, I am a good person." I understand your point, but I answer after I have already examined my actions. Therefore, the question has been asked and answered by my conscience already, making my answer truthful, not boastful. But certainly not a tell to whether or not I am a good or bad person.
😂😂 Why are you talking like that? Not to be a dick but that sounded pretentious as all hell, definitely not gonna help you in a social setting. Also, weather or not you're a good person will never have anything to do with the past. Hitler probably had a few memories of doing kind deeds but at some point he became "satisfied" and stopped evaluating his actions in the present moment. Here's a piece of unsolicited advice you may or may not need: Think of being a good person as a constant ongoing practice. It does not end when you do a certain amount of good deeds, or make a right decision.
Well no one can say they've never lied but if you are generally honest , saying confidently that you are is not not wrong. I dont agree with this quote.
I think the one who is wise knows their own ignorance. The one who is honest knows it's impossible to be one in every step of their life. Intentionally or unintentionally you'll embark on the path you don't want. Perhaps humility. “He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.” ― Lao Tzu
*"Man, proud man, drest in a little brief authority, most ignorant of what he's most assured, glassy essence, like an angry ape, plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven, as make the angels weep."* - William Shakespeare
People cannot act as villains and at the same time be fully conscious of their moral flaws, since our psychology is such that nobody is able to withstand being a bad guy in their own story. Deep inside they always believe they are right, because being bad and knowing it breaks the person irreparably. It's been a popular cultural trope, take for example inspector Javert from Victor Hugo's Les Miserables - the man who learned that his principles of justice were nothing compared to showing mercy, and he couldn't live with himself anymore and committed suicide because he saw that compassion is better than blind law. He wasn't even a bad guy, just a very rigid one. Imagine then, what happens to a person crushed by the weight of their own mistakes?
I struggle greatly with major anxiety that I am a bad person. I am, admittedly, self-centered, lazy and have done things I should not have done. According to the logic in this video, I am a good person, though -- I hope that is true. I also struggle with believing I deserve better and more, to be happy.
Thats not true. "I dont know" or "I hope so" is also 100% right. I agree that only those that know their darkness can be good, because at least they know the enemy. Everyone else is just acting on outside forces.
This is mostly just a "good person" in the sense of being selfless, in other words altruism. A person who just takes care of him/herself and nobody else, but doesn't hurt anyone either cannot be truly "good" in this definition. The reality is, people are not selfless in the long run, there's always a reward involved even if it's just wanting to feel righteous and there's nothing wrong with that, because you sacrificed something. At the end of the day we're all just programmed for self preservation and good and bad are just words.
Share this video with someone you think might enjoy and benefit from it and help our community keep growing. If you enjoy our films and want a say on what ones we make you can now become a channel member here: ruclips.net/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBogjoin
Don't read my username.
Is there a test to see if you care enough?..
This is one of your videos i could not even concider sharing. I understand what you were trying to say but as others have commented, it was presented in sutch a way that will make alot of people (especially those who suffer with anxiety, and i recognise this from a personal battle with anxiety and depression ) feel like shit... And i could never do that to them. Sadly this video is borderline encourages their anxiety by making them feel guilty for ever starting to have self confidence or think that they sre an ok person, and therefore making things worse. Frankly, i expected better from this channel.
@@josef5341 I totally agree with you, I have had my problems, my bad side and my bad time. From this I learned a lot and understood that evil as pure evil doesn't exist but everyone thinks he is right, so I understand how that works. After this premise, I'll never say that I'm not a good person because I know I can always do better and always will by sharing and collecting the many points of view that everyone has. Saying that a good person always thinks that it's not a good person is a premise for a very depressed, introverted and borderline neurotic person
In the translated to Spanish version of the video title it translates "work out" as in "figuring out" as "work out" as in "exercise". If you could change it it would be "saber" as "to know" instead of "ejercitar".
If u can't change it it's fine. Greetings from Argentina
Never regret being a good person, to the wrong people. Your behavior says everything about you, and their behavior says enough about them.
Ya, be a mark. Says everything about you indeed.
Great comment thanks
Never regret the times I could have spilled their secrets , but just let the toxic people go.
It's not even about what it says to people, it's about doing what's right.
PS Just don't conflate being good with being naive. I don't know a single person that didn't regret attempting to give first aid to a drunk hobo after it ended up in them getting stabbed. Just remember the sample size is 2, 3 if we count having skull fractured by a dude that had a full bottle instead of a shank.
@@Sk0lzky the first
First aid rule
Is to make sure you are protected before u try and rescue someone
"are you a good person?"
Me: "no"
"CONGRATULATIONS YOU PASSED THE TEST YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON"
Me: 👁️👄👁️ what
What?? 👁️👄👁️
Literally me a minute ago
its about inversion of good for evil and vice versa as Scripture says. I would say I am a good person that is genuinely interested in harmony among my fellow man and gets irritated by evil doings and unrighteousness. you should know them by their fruits, scripture says, watch the children to better understand the shortcomings of the parents :)
every good person says no, but not everyone who says no is a good person. congratulations, you have not passed.
@@muffinszss but she said no
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”
- Marcus Aurelius
Selah.
Except most bad people also think they're good. So maybe there is some point to coming to an agreement on what being a good person means.
godsofwarmaycry Still a waste of time. Agreed?
ma man
Himmmmm, thanks a lot for the quote! But of course we can disagree with Marcus Aurelius too.Because no man can be entirely wise at every single moment. That statement sounds a bit too black and white. As if you can " either be good" or " argue about it". Having ethical discussions about what is good, fair and worthy is very important. We can discuss these issues and help each other to become better people.
Michael Sandel's lectures on justice are full of examples of these. I highly recommend everyone to check him out!
Thanks again. Have a nice evenig!
“The conflict is not between good and evil but between wisdom and ignorance.” -Buddhist saying
This. Ignorance is the source of all evil in the world.
But what if the wisdom of someone is to kill someone?
@@skwnjur3179 Depending on circumstances, killing someone can be the wisest thing to do.
@@skwnjur3179 Maybe that in a way, being aware of how to kill someone can precisely prevent it
@@impact0r this might depend on that crook's matured karma
Thinking that one is a “good” person doesn’t mean being unaware of one’s “bad” parts..Seeing the good in yourself despite the imperfections (that you know about already) may sometimes be the key to seeing it in others as well no matter how imperfect they seem to be.
One drop of lemon juice can spoil the barrel of milk.
I agree . I had very similar thought while watching this. I kinda got the impression that you need to be a nervous wreck who is constantly anxious about how you are acting to be a good person, but as a person who has and does suffered with several kinds of anxiety that is not healthy. And yea according to the videos defentivtion you might be "good" but you are also in a constant social pain that makes living that good life a living hell
I am glad I am not the only person who felt that way while watching. I rather strongly agree!
Completely agree.
when reading the title “are you a good person” I felt nah well maybe I could be one but I don’t actively pursue good acts and am on the lazy side and I’m not as kind/unbiased as I used to be as a youth. But do I think i’m a bass person. no i don’t because i try to stay in my lane. before the vid I was like i’m 50% good 10% rude & selfish and 40% an apathetic observer. Maybe I’ll pull up my socks a bit ;)
“Are you a good person?”
“Okay, okay i need to start being a bit more confident in myself, so id say that im a pretty decent person.”
“WRONG, YOU VILLAIN!”
Time for a self improvement journey.
Lmao😭😭
yeah, this really sends you reeling on a whirlwind of self-doubt... I dunno man.
@@mycollegeshirtIKR I'M LITERALLY LIKE THAT RN
Yeah this video is such shit. I was expecting them to come out and say "psych" after they kept on saying grossly oversimplified black and white statements.
1:10 I don't agree. Good doesn't mean perfect. Good isn't the top of the mountain. A good person still makes mistakes and does bad things from time to time. Considering this, I think you could answer the question "Are you a good person?" perfectly well with a "Yes" without being a bad/egocentric person.
Are you disagreeing with TSoL? Blasphemer!
I think that Is relative to who you are comparing yourself to. If you are comparing yourself to a death row inmate that did his crimes, then if you are not a death row inmate the answer would be yes, but if you are comparing yourself to the one who is blameless and has never done wrong then the answer would be no. Just like everything in life it all about perspective.
Same, as much as I like listening to School of Life's videos about...well everything. I feel like you can be a good person and recognise that you are, without being egotistical and boastful. I do, granted I do fall into pits of self doubt. But I usually try to think that because I label past actions as wrong (which most of them are) I know not to do it again. So I believe I'm a better person because of it, still not perfect though.
K Itch Exactly this!!
i'd prefer an answer of "i don't know". situations and behavior is very much dependent on perspective. i'm not perfectly good but i'm not perfectly bad either. am i good or bad? i don't know.
Something I’ve realised from this channel is that you aren’t born selfless or kind. It is something you are taught or teach yourself; only you can make the decision to try and become a better person - concretely, treat those you consider beneath you with respect and cultivate a positive attitude through your actions, and your mind will eventually believe all those things
But . . . but . . . being self-aware enough to realize that you are flawed and are not without error is the key. I would never claim to be flawless, but I would indeed say that I'm a good person, because I can recognize that I am flawed. I think there is a problem in the absolute nature of the determinism of this episode.
I hate to burst your bubble but a truly good person doesn’t think highly of themselves and they realize how immoral they actually are without belittling their own immorality by saying stuff like “I’m not perfect” or “I have flaws” or “I make mistakes” or “I’m only humans” because only LOSERS say those things a truly good person will straight up admit he’s guilty of being an immoral degenerate piece of shit and feel remorseful over it and tries to better himself rather than feed his own pride and ego by thinking highly of himself and believing he’s a good person like the fool would do
Also I think it's possible to be a bad person and self aware
"No tree can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell." - Carl Jung
When my guinea pig toots, he sometimes toots in toot putts, as his fluffy self wobbles along. Its kinda like starting up an old engine, or something - john legoizamo, in that firefighter movie
@Martha Speaks That's a good question. He had to be right? "A good person is someone that has ability to be a monster but chooses not to be" but what happens when you have to make that choice of being a monster to be that good person. Taking a life of a home invader for the protection of your family for example. Or sending out a flood to wipe out the "wicked" to save the "pure".
and what have you got to say?
That's such a misplaced sentence from Jung. It is not a saying, it probably is a part of a much larger argument.
@@Neutrino0000 love your comment💖
"Are you a good person?"
Me: yeah I try to be a good person and thoughtful of others.
"You are a BAD person!"
Same 😂😂
'I am a good person' and 'I try to be a good person' are two different things though
@@shubham221992 thank you, that is a very gracious answer ^-^
Same here too ^^'
Same Lolol ..... this is the first video I've looked at from this channel I don't totally agree with.
" a constant suspicion that someone might be a monster "
My anxiety : allow me to introduce myself
Yea, this video fails because of its absolutes.
“constant”? No. Occasional? Sure.
If you feel afraid that you're a monster, maybe you are nervous of your own resentful feelings. In which case, I'd suggest respecting those feelings and asking yourself why you feel resentful. Maybe some people are treating you rudely or unfairly. It could be a case of calmly saying, Please don't be rude to me. However in your culture or family it may not be safe to do so, but you can still respect your wish to be treated with courtesy. You are not a monster. Please respect yourself and value the gifts you bring into the world.
Rosemary Walters no no its because of intrusive thoughts and a lot more issues i cant speak about here
I wish you well as you manage your intrusive thoughts and various issues. We all have our struggles. I hope everything goes well for you.
Rosemary Walters thank you , i wish that for you as well. ❤️
“The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.”
― Abigail Van Buren
In which case vegans would rate super high right... because animals have the least power to defend themselves... provided animals are in the reckoning...
@@thegoodtimegirl Correct. Vegans have the moral high ground
love this
@@thegoodtimegirl But when you start keeping score and ranking how good you are against others, you start subtracting goodness points...
@@knowthyselfandyoullknowthe8216 I loved your username. It reminded me of these quotes.
“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”
― Lao Tzu
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
― C.G. Jung
“People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
I seriously don't think it is this simple. A lot of truly evil people I've known genuinely admit to being evil and even take pride in being anything but good. On the other side, I've known truly good people who wouldn't answer no. Normaly they'd say something like 'I try to be good' or 'I try to be my best version'. I think it's totally plausible to be both self-aware and good/bad. In the end, self - awareness is the only quality that can lead to a change for the better.
I think of myself as a neutral person, I'm not doing anything profoundly good for others but I'm not screwing people over either.
Same here, I know that there is much more I could be doing to be actively good. Not harming doesn't seem like a virtue to me, just a neutral position.
Swanky Garbage at times doing good is so simple and takes no effort. I started to focus on doing more good 😁 I leave food by the door at a food bank, at time good clothes. Someone will see it and find it a blessing
that just makes you a worthless person, maybe you should try a bit harder
@@notfooled6232 I feel like lacking empathy and calling people worthless doesn't make you a great person tbh
*either
I’ve tried to ignore this video for a while every time it pops up on my feed out of fear that it will tell me that good people don’t think they’re good.
I’ve struggled with this since I was young. At first I believed that if I did good I will be liked and if I do bad I am hated. It has taken me this long and I’m not even sure if I’m there yet to be able to say to myself “I am a good person and if I can’t help everyone, I am still a good person.” “If I make a mistake, I am still a good person.” “If I say no, I am still a good person”
If you asked me a year ago if I believed I was a good person I would have immediately said no. But I am glad I realised that concept I had of myself was detrimental to my mental and physical health.
Most of this video might be true, but I hope others who might be like me can see past it and know, if you truly think you are a good person, you are still a good person.
My answer to "Are you a good person?" has always been "I hope so." or "I'd like to think so."
oops
a wise person will ask himself/herself if they’re a good person where as a fool will tell themself that they’re good
Mine is always: "I try to be"
As someone who has grown up trying very hard to be a good person this video illustrates the strain of such a pursuit remarkably well
My answer to the question would be ''I try to be a good person'' what does that make me?
An honest person, which is good
Reasonable? Mature? I mean, School of Life isn't always right. It's just stepping stones to deeper thinking and better living.
mature ..
maturity
you are a good person .. if we based that in this video ..
Modesty has it's limits too ...
If you constantly think that you are not a good person, wouldn't that cause to hurt yourself and by default that would make you a bad person since you are causing harm to someone, yourself?
Let's just appreciate the smooth transitions and the nice black and white contrast as compared to "good and evil" shown in this video.
Yes absolutely! The animation was incredibly beautiful!
whooops
I really really really like this image
The "bad apple" technique
Wonderful observation. On a subconscious level, I'd like to think I ''got'' the effective use of black and white, but the shared insights of the most perceptive people is ALWAYS appreciated!
This is PTSD, not being "good".
I can know I am good. Without a heavy conscience, and with the surety that I am a light in the world.
I strongly disagree with this one.
Right there with you
agreed 👏
@Pedrooko - Sounds a bit self-righteous dude
Nobody is just light or dark, but if you are so sure that you are pure light, there must be something dark about you!
It's a generalization
Genuinely good, kindness, patience, forgiveness, compromise, apology, and gentleness? *Yes* these describe me.
Alain de Boton: No
He's a phony, and a fraud.
Ask other people to describe you, though be warned you might begin to hate them.
Exactly what Cynthia said. Would every person that knows you describe you with those same words? Have you never lied before? Have you never been a dick before? A good person would never say they are good because they know they are inherently flawed and could always be better. When Alain is saying no, it's very easy to misunderstand it as if that somehow implies that you are a bad person but that's not what he's saying. The point is that you are neither good or bad, you are a human capable of doing both depending on the situation and if you don't realize that then you still have a long way to go
@@Kat1lz Thank u, many people misunderstood and put themselves on a very defensive mode and that's says a lot.
I think Alain de Botton has important contributions to make e.g. he has stimulated this interesting discussion. He isn't a perfect human. No one is. However imperfect people can still help others to develop useful insights. I'm imperfect and so is everyone but it's likely that most of us have helped to make the world a somewhat better place already today. Just the simple act of driving carefully has saved lives, thanks to you and me. That alone is a very significant contribution to make.
I wanna hug people who were treated harshly when they tried to be good. Even if being “good” leads to pain, or people take your kindness for weakness, keep doing good. Keep putting the need of others over your own fear, it is worth it. Even if it’s moving snail out of the way of a car🙏❤️it’s important
Wait so in order to be "good" you constantly have to feel guilty in some way? That sounds wrong to me, it would mean that a "good" person is never going to be happy. Defined this way, personally I wouldn't want to be a good person.
Nah, it's about the awareness for your own capacity for evil, and the constant assessment of your own thoughts and actions.
If you ever become "satisfied", and stop thinking about your mindset and stop looking for ways you should improve, then you lose that self awareness that helps you make those good decisions in the first place.
So yes, you do have to contemplate on it as a constant practice, even if it's a repetitive pain in the ass
That’s not the point it’s a matter of always remembering you’re not perfect and self awareness.
@@Jacob-wz7pm That is not what is said in the video. According to the video you can only be good if you suspect yourself to be a monster, constantly have a guilty conscience and lie awake at night thinking about your character flaws.
i consider myself a good person and im always miserable, too. but i also disagree with this video.
that makes me even more miserable now
@@987555555 Nope, that's not what the video is saying. Pay closer attention to word choice.
It all makes sense now. My narcissistic mother always says "I'm a good person, why do you keep describing me as if I was a monster?".
Yup narcissistic individuals always play victim and say they are good but with bad people lol.
My sympathies to you for your mother. I've had "friends" that were..... can't imagine a parent.
@@ralfwashington1502 Thank you, you're so kind! And I'm sorry you had such friends, I'm sending lots of love
@@SicYennefer thanks live and learn I guess.
bruh when they asked "do you think you're a good person" i smiled to myself and confidently said yes. does this mean i'm satan lmao
Exactly :/
You can be confident without being doubtful. I think the point was that, “ good people” think of their actions before they take them and how they effect others, always or most likely reflect how their actions went and what to correct or if they misjudged someone. However, that has nothing to do with knowing you’re a good person. You can be confident about that, but also thoughtful of your actions. This video just didn’t make sense at all.
You aren't satan. You are probably simply foolish.
Probably have a long way to go to self awareness. Or are very young.
You spelled Santa wrong.
Marina_ 88 Yes! This guy has such a narrow understanding. He’s describing the self-critic, the person who pushes themselves up a mountain and is never good enough, but this is not the only way to do “good.” In fact, I find this quite a suffocating energy, its very narrow. People who do good things, because it makes them feel good, because they are just kind and they are confident in who they are and the choices they have made, are also incredible people. They glow, they are magnetic, they inspire love and openness. This kind of whipped mule behaviour that he’s talking about is almost a flaw. Why can’t you be free and accept who you are, and love yourself??? I’m tired of this shit
When you've spent 6 years in therapy suffering from severe ptsd and paranoia.. then watch this video saying if you think you're a good person, which therapy is based around making you feel - re-building your sense of self and character, then you're not a good person. Thanks. The slap in the face needed. Thanks for making a complex issue seem black and white, and therefore problematic to viewers. This video is very dangerous for mental health.
thats close to what i thought... but i was already miserable before watching the video so its ok.
@@cobruh836 Sorry to hear that. As a stranger on the internet I can't offer much solace, but please accept this penguin: 🐧
I hope you'll feel better soon!
@@steffis9806 I accept your penguin, thank you
I agree. And I also think that this video's message encourages imposter syndrome type of behavior. Very dangerous indeed.
Yea. The language in the video is very extreme in a reckless way.
Sounds like you're conflating goodness with self-doubt and insecurity, you don't need self-doubt in order to be humble. And obviously you can be humble while still acknowledging your goodness, for being such an intellectual channel the lack of nuance in this video is quite fascinating
Yup, the went for absolutes with this one for some reason; maybe just to make a point about self-judgement. It kinda went tone-deaf tho.
👏👏👏
Agreed.
Or rather, you don’t need *constant* self doubt. A moderate amount is healthy.
Self doubt is the root of humility.
@@rexiioper6920
Nope, modesty is the root of humility. Self-doubt, more often than not, is a character distortion that is root of many mental disorders like social anxiety and depression.
I don't know if I really believe this video, because psychopaths admit they're bad people and I don't think anyone has to think they're a bad person in order to be good. I think good people understand that nothing is black and white. My answer to the question "are you a good person" is "I hope so," because only other people can really say how good I am
I literally answered yes......... i truly dont believe im a bad person though, i have bad qualities that i put effort/work on, i think that my intentions are good which makes me a “good person”
If you think of it this way, answering "No" doesn't mean you're the exact opposite of good.
If your answer is "I try" or "I hope so", then your answer to the question is technically "No".
If you're not constantly assessing yourself, you become complacent and fall into the same traps described in the video
Nope just makes you a fanatic. 😉
Believing ones intentions are good is a dangerous road to go down.
Rex Oper i cant really intent badly towards people no matter how much i dislike them. I feel like it isnt the right way to live and is a waste of time. I also heavily believe on karma so even when i do think of getting back at someone to harm them i tell myself im better than that and good things will come to me anyway
Exactly
... I‘m confused. After answering „yes“, am I a bad person then?
I know damn well that I‘m not perfect and make mistakes. But I try to learn from it not letting it all tear me down. I know I do the best I can everyday, does that not make me a good person?
This video is only in black or white.
I think grey is prominent in this world
Think of it like the Yin and Yang symbol. If there is no grey, then there is a bit of white in black, vice versa.
everything is black and white, even grey. some grey is more black and some grey is more white.
This video is not black or white, it is in fact grey. If you think saying no to being a good person automatically implies that you are a bad person, that merely reflects how black and white your perception is. You can be good and bad simultaneously, as a matter of fact that's exactly what we are. Realising that you are capable of both, is realising that you are neither good or bad, and both at the same time. It's a paradox.
Yet, far too many people think in black and white.
I feel as though this might have just made a lot of perfectly ordinary, kind, honest folk feel rather bad about themselves. Perhaps before you ask the question you might have to explain what you mean by “good person” first.
Yes, or you could decide not to use such simplistic words as good and bad. You could ask Do you help people sometimes? Or Do you find time to contribute to the environment movement?
This video probably encourages depressions. I feel like they tell everyone "if you think you know what's good, then you're wrong" making anyone feels unsure about themselves.
Good is a word used in society and like every abstract word no one knows the perfect definition. But if you can't say if something is good or not the word doesn't make any sense. Wittgenstein emphasizes it: The meaning of a word is the meaning of how we use it. This video has a complete different view of the word "good" and how we use this noun in society. The same thing with "bad" or "evil".
So. I would say, if someone is fighting peacefully against poverty by not hurting anyone, I would use the word "good" and there should be no shame about it (and there are more examples out there). Society makes good-ness, not random definitions.
Well said.
You are digging into an area that has nothing to do with this. You can't be a good person until you realise that you are capable of doing bad things and despite that choose to do good. You have lied before, you have hurt people before and yet somehow your first thought when asked if you are a good person is to say yes? Do you not see the tremendous ego and lack of self-awareness behind that. Why wouldn't you describe yourself as a bad person? Because it destroys the idolized persona you have created about yourself? You don't ascribe good or bad to yourself, that's what other people who have interacted with you do. Now ask yourself the question, would every person you have ever met describe you as a geniunely good person?
But if you have depression you probably lack the self esteem or confidence to say that you're a good person with certainty. At best you'd reply "I don't know" or "at times". Which still counts as skepticism.
I don't think such judgemental assessments as good and bad are useful. It's more helpful to evaluate a potential friend by asking yourself, "Does this person seem sincere and is s/he genuinely trying to make our friendship work well or is s/he just taking advantage of others or tricking people or being manipulative or even threatening people?" A sincere person can still make social blunders or be a bit selfish at times but s/he is mostly trying to make things work satisfactorily for all concerned.
@@tracesprite6078 I mean, what's the definition of "sincere"? Obviously the meaning of how we use it, ain't? Otherwise it's the same as meaningless.
That's the problem of abstract words. Either we should give them the meaning of the society or we risk that the words don't have any meaning.
I could say, I'm sincere but if I use the word in a different way than society, what does it count?
Self healing, meditating, and practice of genuine compassion leads to confident answers of "yes" to this question.
I am a good person, not because I'm perfect, but because I try and put forth the effort to be pleasant to my environment and for myself.
Calling yourself a good person will ALWAYS lead to you becoming more of an asshole a wise person will ask himself/herself if they’re a good person where as a fool will tell themself that they’re good
@@xrenegade87xchannel88 love it 👏🏼
"are you a good person"
me before the video : "no"
me after the video : " oh thank god"
Bro we in the same head space?
@@MissyCeleste i guess so bro
I came here ready to hate on the reductive title but was completely blown away but the quality of this video. Wonderful work, very cognizant. Describes a simple truth that I feel I came into the video intuiting but wasn't able to articulate properly, and for that thank you for making this
0:17
'Always, always answer no'.
If someone asked if I am a good person, I would say yes. Yet I lie awake many nights worrying about my interactions and how I could've made them better, or improve them in future.
I'm always looking to improve myself and be a better person still. I've been nominated for volunteering awards and my partner (who knows me very well) says I'm the kindest most trustworthy person he has ever known, and that I make him want to be a better person.
I see a psychiatrist weekly and do my best to become more self aware and have the best impact I can in other people's lives. I know how hard I try to be happy and a good person, and I strongly believe that I am one.
But according to your video I am not a good person. And while I definitely don't believe that to be the case, I find it hurtful that you believe it.
True. This is a very disturbing video for me. 🤣
The video is hurtful because of the simplistic judgemental words "good" and "bad". It's more useful to ask yourself questions like "Well, how did that conversation go? Did I really listen well?" And if you feel you didn't because your back was hurting, you might make a point of later asking some caring questions in a subsequent phone call. You can keep on working on being a caring person without giving yourself marks out of ten. If you have a day at work where you're not at your best, it's not helpful to say, "I'm a bad person. " but rather, "That day didn't go well. I'd better make sure I have an early night so I can be more helpful and hardworking tomorrow." We are all works-in-progress and perfection will never be part of our natures.
@@tracesprite6078 Yas! Also it doesn't make sense. "Bad" is subjective, so we'll most likely answer that with our perception of what Bad is. "Bad" for me are those people with mass shooting capabilities, rapists, murderers, bombers, pedos, mostly in that spectrum. So no I don't want to answer I am a bad person. 🤣
@@arvi8843 Yes, I agree. I feel like Alain has a picture of those old fashioned monks who had to be very humble all the time. No one in modern society goes up to a new acquaintance and asks, "Are you good or bad?" In a job interview, people ask things like, "What qualities do you have that will help you to do this job?" They don't want the person to say things like, "Well, I'm 80% good and 10% mediocre and 10% bad." Similarly, as we get to know a friend, we notice things like, that this person is very tactful and encouraging but that when they get tired, they can be rather grumpy. We might explain aspects of our own personality e.g. "I really enjoy talking about my job but if you start giving me advice about my weight problem, well I'm pretty over-sensitive about that." or "I really valued talking about the problems you wanted to discuss but I know that I tend to give a lot of advice, so please stop me if I overdo it." Those kinds of self-assessments are helpful but vague words like good and bad are old fashioned and unhelpful.
you're lying, people who think they're truly a good person never lie awake about their own actions and never feel remorse when they do anything cruel to hurt others
I think you missed the mark on this one. Negative self perception/self-talk doesn't make a good person. It just makes you feel bad about yourself and judge others more harshly. Self-directed love and kindness are the route to self improvement. I understand that I am not perfect, but, at my core, I am good. Therefore I will challenge myself to be kinder and unlearn the negative coping mechanisms that have gotten me through hard times. And I will treat others as though they are on the same journey.
“Some of the worst things imaginable, have been done with the best intentions.”
- Dr. Grant (Jurassic Park 3)
Thats the ideology of a Chaotic person
Hitler: oh hi
Honestly, my response to the question was "Well, I try to be."
Key distinction here as I'm seeing some confusion in the comments:
This video refers to being a Good Person in the capital "G" philosophical sense, not the generic sense of being generally good. The word has at least two meanings: 1) Good as in Good-vs-Evil, righteous, just, and pure; 2) Good as in decent, appropriate, worse than excellent but better than bad. I can eat a good meal, you can be good at sports, be a good friend, and in general, yeah, maybe you're a good/decent person. But to be a Good Person - truly embody the philosophical sense of Good-ness as righteousness and justice - requires a purer sense than we generally use in day-to-day Life. Casually asking "Hey, are they a good person?" is different than using the same words to ask the deeply probing and earnest question, "In your heart, deep down, do you believe you are actually a Good person?" The answer to the first can usually be a "Yes" while the answer to the second should - in this video's opinion - by a "No". (My go-to answer is "I try" which I suppose avoids answering it and means "No" anyway.)
Yeah saying if you answer ''no'' you're not a good person is a gross oversimplification. Few people out there are truly bad, just because you're not perfect all the time doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you're human :)
Veiga I agree. I think it’s okay to say you’re a good person.
Thanks now it makes a lot of sense
Wow
The best way to judge another’s character is to see how they treat people lower on the social spectrum than themselves, if they consistently treat them with respect and dignity it’s a good person if they treat them like garbage they are not.
I thought yes, can I not choose to affirm and own the good I have done in my journey so far?
Being someone who isn't easy on themselves - I would usually anchor myself with the good I've done and the good I'm still going to do.
If I can't recognise what I've done as good and require reassurance from others then would I not be left in a unhealthy head space?
I believe, at times, it's important to experience the good in others and acknowledge that everyone has the capacity to be good or bad. Some try their best to see the good in others until they are proven wrong but that's where forgiveness, reconciliation and other factors come into play. We should strive for good and recognise when we do good, I'll never believe in rejecting that mindset for the latter.
What I absolutely love about this video is the black & white theme. A dichotomy between the "goodness" and "badness" of people may not always be the best approach, but in this particular setting you'd be supporting an argument from this subtle point of view. Amazing!
The “price” of that constant doubt also includes the risk of self-hatred, of blaming yourself for more than is likely your fault. Sometimes you need to figure out for yourself whether you did the right thing in certain situations because not everyone is willing to tell you or be around to tell you what you did wrong.
“Good” people, in the way described in this video, also need to have good judgement of others. Such self-doubt when taken to such a level can lead to you being blamed and manipulated.
Nice point, but I feel like the info alone could make the impression on some viewers to act in a way that leaves them vulnerable without realising how it could.
I've read somewhere that narcissistic people sometimes tell others of how they're bad and about what they did, but at the same time flatter the other and 'act' seemingly good.
A very manipulative move in this case.
People look more at actions then at words, so they think 'Okay, they're at least honest, so they can't be that bad of a person.' They think the narcissist might have had reasons for their bad deeds etc.
This way the narcissist on one hand wins the person for themselves with being seemingly honest but on the other hand excuses himself from any future bad deed because 'I told you I was bad.'
So if a person you are getting to know flat out tells you they're a bad person, you should consider believing them.
It's different, of course, from you asking them weather they think they're 'good' , but still a valuable insight, I think.
I want to thank Alain and his team for their attempts at articulating hard to tackle notions which perhaps for some of us are vague yet strong intentions/feelings/ideas/tendencies. Much appreciated.
I resonate so deeply with this. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I'm flawed and I know nothing. Of this, I can be absolutely certain.
I'm usually entirely on board with your videos but I kind of disagree with this one. I agree that good people are aware of the fact that they are in fact not always good people... but you said straight up asking someone and them saying "yes" means they are not a good person. That's a little radical. You can be aware that you can be an asshole at times and still have faith in your own commitment to trying to be better every day.
He didn't say answering yes meant you were a bad person. This specific test is to see if someone is good, not if they are bad.
Answering "No" doesn't explicitly mean "I think I'm bad". It means "I don't grow complacent and start thinking of myself as good"
If you answer "no" you still can be a bad person. So it's not a test if you are good. Also you can be a good person if you answer "yes"
A little radical? It´s totaly extreme point of view. And very harmful to all good people with low self-esteem who constantly see flaws in themselves and are easily abused by the bad ones.
a wise person will ask himself/herself if they’re a good person where as a fool will tell themself that they’re good
My answer to the question is i don't know, because I know can be mean and do bad things sometimes, but I feel like I am becoming more aware of myself and the things I do. I'm glad I found this video so that I could humble myself more.
Last time someone wanted to check if I was a good person I was asked to choose:
A)Raise a fist and say the phrase
B)Have your teeth kicked in
C) Raise a fist knowing the survival is the first and only requirement, agree with the mob so momentarily you are safe, know that they are a rapid religious cult, know that any direct opposition only solidifies their fury, know you live another day. A space to rebel against the tyranny of hysteria. *that is a long excuse for being a coward son* Sometimes patience is the virtue of the hour.
It may be time to arm. I don't want to, but maybe.
nice. someone linked and addressed current affairs so I didn't have to.
i think this is why i keep reminding myself to be kind because I know what I'm capable of
Thinking you’re a good person doesn’t mean you think you’re perfect. So I disagree with this video.
Do u disagree with this video at a whole?
@@chloearavani960 Yes. TSoL was amazing the first 2 or 3 years of its existence. Since then it has seemingly run out of ideas and put out so much crap like this.
Thinking you're a good person might be a result from a long time questioning yourself about this topic, but that doesn't turn you automatically bad. It's a result from recgonizing your own acts, but it doesn't mean changing them later on.
@@anaju3595 That comment is almost as nonsensical as the video.
The video didn't say that though. It focusses on the people who have inner turmoil over their qualities as a whole vs those who externalize responsibility.
I have a shitty relationship with my family. My dad's been gone since I was 20 something, my brother and I don't speak at all, but we don't hate each other. And my relationship with my mother goes throw fits of toxicity and selfless/selfish love. I can tell others I love her but I can't remember when I last hugged her. I only kiss her and mess with her jokingly when I'm drunk.
With this in mind I immediately said No. And I started to realize I'm not all that good to anyone except strangers.
But my actions are different and similarly in social situations, I don't post online the charitable things I do besides on this one comment.
I find myself giving things to homeless who I feel are "worthy" of my kindness. I've helped old ladies in wheelchairs get home, help ppl with groceries in my job when I'm on my break. Put money in sleeping homeless ppls pockets. I listen to ppl who obviously need to talk alot and let them speak because alot of ppl don't really care what they have to say and it's so noticable.
I work decently at my job cuz it's fairly easy and tedious work but also take alot of breaks and procrastinate.
Ppl have told my bosses how good of a worker I am but I'm almost never to work on time and I'll choose to not go on a sheer whim and because my depression makes me not care.
Socially I can be quiet and funny. But I'm very Ill mannered whenever I don't feel like talking. I'll be very stoic and quiet and I won't care what anyone has to say. Ill just go to work and not speak to anyone or even say hi or acknowledge ppl who want to speak.
Dating is almost never happened to me because I don't really care to understand someone who has interest in me. I'm always thinking they just want something from me I can't give them so I sabotage their sentiments just like when I don't feel like socializing.
I really only try to charm a woman who I have no interest besides sex and I'm never brave enough to even try to engage on that. I end up cock blocking myself because I feel I'm not worthy of love.
It's strange because I feel alot of ppl aren't worthy of love themselves but yet they're in their toxic relationships and failing marriages.
I doubt I'm a good person through and through but my only saving grace is I'm aware of the horrible things I do and say to myself. And I try to negate that by making others feel much better than I ever could. But my love is very selfish.
"The line separating good and evil passes right through every human heart."
I thought the answer at 0:40 was: "sometimes'. If you say 'no', then you are also self-deprecating. Because sometimes you just feel that you are a good person.
sometimes we get so caught up on being good for others that we don’t know what’s good for us tbh
Susan Park Comparing, competition, conformity blah, blah, blah. Don’t care.
To thyself be true. 😁☮️❤️🙏🏻
Yes, it's called slavery.
Beautiful. Constantly improving & being an example along this wild journey. We don’t t know bad until we experience it & overcome the pull.
this assumes that the answer always comes from someone who is “good”, I bet lots of evil person know they are evil and are honest about it. Thus when asked “are you a good person”, an evil person would say “no”, and hes right.
If someone admits they are a bad person, maybe you can talk to them about why they choose to be evil. If you know their motivations, then maybe you can teach them a better way. The worst people are those that blindly follow ideologies and can do incredible harm. Think communist dictators and their purges of society, killing millions. They believe they are good people doing an important job.
Jinx!
Jaime Warlock monsters know what they do is evil, and that it needs to be done. You can’t talk them out of it. Sometimes people boil things down to simply “it is what it is” to help them look in the mirror and not get disgusted with themselves.
Yes! I prefer an honest sociopath to a malignant narcissist ant day of the week.
I dont think the point of the video was that everyone who says no is good. Its simply that good people will always say no
" and when people can always readily forgive because the know how much in them needs to be forgiven" sums up everything..
Most definitely disagree. You're conflating toxic self righteousness with simply acknowledging that you are a good person who tries their best.
True.
you are trying. so am I. That does not mean that the label of "good" is a proper one to apply unto us
@@anonymous49125 How so? How is the inherent and default condition of a person not to be good? I feel The Bible talking. Either that or Machiavelli. We all, me and you, have both good and bad in us. Some moreso than others. To suggest that just in order to be good we have to exert ourselves is to suggest that people are inherently evil...which, once again, leads us back to The Bible. Whics is *most certainly* not a true guide to a human soul.
@@anonymous49125 I would say is like saying that you're "a doctor" as supposed to a student of medicine
people who think they're a good person have nothing but toxic self-righteousness
This video was just a relief to me. Thank you
I usually say. “ I’d like to believe that I am good” even if I don’t believe it to be 100% true...
That's an excellent phrase, I'm gonna store that away in my mind for the next time someone asks thank you :)
Leo feel free to do so Leo :D
It can be applied to many things. I don’t consider myself an humble person but I also don’t like do brag or anything. I’m an illustrator for example and the worst question I can get is asking if I am good at it. And I respond in the same manner. Because as an illustrator... you are always very critical of your own work, as you are of yourself as a person.
@@leoisforevercool But then you're avoiding the truth. We should be able say, no I'm not good but i try to be. Wanting to believe you are comes off as lying to yourself, which in turn is weakness becuase you can't confront the reality of the matter. “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:” - Romans 3:10
a wise person will ask himself/herself if they’re a good person where as a fool will tell themself that they’re good
Every line of this video is a pure gem.
This video explains so much of what’s happening right now... and throughout time.
If you like plastic bags dancing in the wind you're a good person, no further questions needed
Okay
😂😂😂
.... or an evil one. Feeling pleasure in the destruction of your own ecosystem and planet.
@@finnickschnitzel7589
That's not what I was referring to
❤
I don't think being 'good' or 'bad' is mutually exclusive, so of course when asked 'Am I good' I'd say 'yes'. If asked 'am I bad' I'd say, 'yes, at times, although I try not to be - and really it depends on your definition'.
For those who read this: Keep chasing your dreams 💪🏽 motivate yourself and you will be amazed with the results after 1 year! I wish everybody good luck with their journey 🍀
Thank you so much you as well
Likewise fam!
Thank you so much people!
🖕🏻
thanks you as well!
I hated the fact that people see me as a good person because I don't talk much
In order for one to be good, he needs to know how to be bad. In the end, maybe there's no good or bad, but simply consequences.
...and the consciousness of it...or rather, the lack of it...
Well said. Contrast breeds wisdom
There's definitely good and bad and we're the ones who decide where the line lies. We have become extremely good at neglecting the fact that most things belong in the gray zone, depending on the said circumstances, intentions and necessities. I believe this entire idea of _'good guys vs bad guys'_ that has been engrained in many people's minds is responsible for this.
@@ivareskesner2019 As long as society exists, there will be good and bad.. Unless we live alone or start a new culture.. Maybe the good can't exist without the bad, and the bad can't exist without the good.. Maybe the idea of good vs bad is "seperation", and if one can't exist without the other, doesn't it makes it a "whole"?
"are you a good person?"
Me: Yes.. I try to treat everyone with kindness and do no harm
"A good person will always, always answer no"
Me:....
Me, who started feeling recently that i am good enough and i should embrace myself.
RUclips recommended me this
i know right xD
Our ability and readiness to acknowledge our flaws is at the root of being/becoming a good person. It is the constant practice of this predominant virtue that augments our other good qualities while transforming our bad ones. That’s what I got out of this video.
Yes I'm a good person. Its as simple as that, nothing complex in the mix and no over thinking it. I disagree with your perspective in this video. Knowing that I'm a good person and owning it doesnt mean I'm perfect, but then being good shouldn't be seen as a person claiming to be a matyr, it is just what it is.
@Pablo Insano its easy for you to throw the word around. Do you really know what a narcissistic personality disorder is? Its a clinical diagnosis, stop throwing words around when you're not sure what it means
@Pablo Insano .......
You can’t call yourself a good person and think your a good person and be humble both at once and in order to be a truly good person you have to be humble the more good you think you are the more egotistical prideful judgmental and unforgiving you’ll become
the thing is, there's layers to this. not just good and bad. there's great, and terrible, there's considerate, and inconsiderate, giving, and selfish. i myself am not an evil person, i wouldn't malicisouly hurt someone on purpose, unless they deserved it, and i was legally allowed too do so, which is and never will be the case, but am i good? hard to say. we all have darkness, don't we?
I do not EVER trust people who say they would never intentionally hurt others if anyone is most likely to be hypocritical and self righteous it’s going to be the people who say “I would never intentionally hurt others”
I think some people might be missing the point of this video, and heck, maybe even I missed it. But I feel like what they were trying to say, regardless of how it was worded, is that for one to truly be good it takes a great deal of self-revisionism. You may think of yourself as a good person, but if you lack the ability to look inside yourself and admit to the errors of your past and present you can’t yet start making a positive impact on the lives of others who are just as flawed as you. To be good is to understand that everyone is flawed and no one will ever be perfect, only then you’ll be able to empathize with your fellow human and do whatever is within your power to ease their conscience. That’s true kindness.
No he’s saying being a good person isn’t a guilt free trip where you never get to feel like a bad person it’s the exact opposite it’s letting go of your ego and question your own morality that’s truly being a good person saying “nobody is perfect everyone makes mistakes” isn’t good enough and doesn’t count because a lot of people use that as a cop out being a truly good person is understanding you sometimes are intentionally selfish mean or cruel on purpose and that you don’t just make “mistakes”
A lot of people missing the point.
Hitler thought he was "doing good".
Truly good people self-reflect to find things they don't like in themselves, and seek to improve their relationship with other people while minimizing harm.
That is what "doing good" is actually about.
For most everyday cases this might be true, but a bad person can also easily trick that system, once they know your question. If you just want to "self test" if you are good, try observing how many bad thoughts you have. If there's a lot of them, chances are you aren't that good, as words and deeds originate from thoughts!
Is no one going to talk about how smooth and mesmerizing those transitions were! I was straight away shot into focus to the video! Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!
I think it also has to do with the fact that people who say no, but still try to be their best selves, are trying their best to be good people. I don't think there is such a thing as ''good people'', because to some people what seems good to them is bad to others. Like how when people see themselves as ''good people'', and still act to as what most people would say are bad things. I think, that if everyone just tries their best to be as good of a human as one can be, that is enough.
Love the use of black and white. Really hammers the message in.
I would say "I'm not the best person to judge that. Ask the people who know me."
No one's good and no one's evil either at the beginning.
It is just the dominating part of ourselves (either good or bad) which makes us one.
The answer of 'no' (when asked from a good person) comes from a person who's aware of its badness.
Those who think they're doing 'good' how much evil they are, it is 'cause of the obliviousness at their part.
If complicated questions like these could be answered in a 5 minute video (or by one-liners like some have posted) we would all be living in a utopia with no more questions left unanswered. Good by one's standard can be different from another's, a person who is not even trying to be good by any standard might say "no" too, etc etc. So it's a nice little idea here, but I hope people will put more thought into the matter than this. On the same thought, I think a more reasonable way of answering this test for someone who wants to be good by their standard is "I try to be".
There is no such thing as a bad person, we are all born as pure babies full of goodness. Our terrible environments we are born in(could be our parents, violent neighbourhoods, bullying or lack of healthy role mode) shape the vulnerability and that makes our society label people with a terrible background as bad people
Sorry School of Life, but when asked, I answer, "Yes, I am a good person." I understand your point, but I answer after I have already examined my actions. Therefore, the question has been asked and answered by my conscience already, making my answer truthful, not boastful. But certainly not a tell to whether or not I am a good or bad person.
😂😂 Why are you talking like that? Not to be a dick but that sounded pretentious as all hell, definitely not gonna help you in a social setting.
Also, weather or not you're a good person will never have anything to do with the past. Hitler probably had a few memories of doing kind deeds but at some point he became "satisfied" and stopped evaluating his actions in the present moment.
Here's a piece of unsolicited advice you may or may not need: Think of being a good person as a constant ongoing practice. It does not end when you do a certain amount of good deeds, or make a right decision.
@@DandyZero nobody should be taking advice about socialising from someone who mocks people for attempted eloquence. From a total stranger nonetheless.
The more good you think you are the more egotistical prideful judgmental and unforgiving you become
So many people say I’m a beautifully loving person but I’m often beating myself up. I immediately answered no to this at the start of this video.
Him: "Are you a good person?"
Me: "Meh, that depends... Goodness is relative" 🤷♀️
A good person is not one who does not have a dark side but is honest enough to acknowledge it to grow out of it gradually, towards the light.
“There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.”
― Mark Twain
Twain was a genius.
and what is the honest person supposed to lie about it?
@@egg-spert Not lie, just hesitate.
Well no one can say they've never lied but if you are generally honest , saying confidently that you are is not not wrong. I dont agree with this quote.
I think the one who is wise knows their own ignorance. The one who is honest knows it's impossible to be one in every step of their life. Intentionally or unintentionally you'll embark on the path you don't want. Perhaps humility.
“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”
― Lao Tzu
The question we have all been thinking about.
*"Man, proud man, drest in a little brief authority, most ignorant of what he's most assured, glassy essence, like an angry ape, plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven, as make the angels weep."*
- William Shakespeare
Remarkably transcendent wisdom!
William Shakespeare, the original plagiariser.
@@Obatala_Vibez What do you mean?
“Human is where the falling angel meets the rising ape” - Terry Pratchett
William is describing Donald Trump.
Wow the last line is gold.
People cannot act as villains and at the same time be fully conscious of their moral flaws, since our psychology is such that nobody is able to withstand being a bad guy in their own story. Deep inside they always believe they are right, because being bad and knowing it breaks the person irreparably. It's been a popular cultural trope, take for example inspector Javert from Victor Hugo's Les Miserables - the man who learned that his principles of justice were nothing compared to showing mercy, and he couldn't live with himself anymore and committed suicide because he saw that compassion is better than blind law. He wasn't even a bad guy, just a very rigid one. Imagine then, what happens to a person crushed by the weight of their own mistakes?
I struggle greatly with major anxiety that I am a bad person. I am, admittedly, self-centered, lazy and have done things I should not have done. According to the logic in this video, I am a good person, though -- I hope that is true. I also struggle with believing I deserve better and more, to be happy.
Thats not true. "I dont know" or "I hope so" is also 100% right.
I agree that only those that know their darkness can be good, because at least they know the enemy. Everyone else is just acting on outside forces.
This is mostly just a "good person" in the sense of being selfless, in other words altruism. A person who just takes care of him/herself and nobody else, but doesn't hurt anyone either cannot be truly "good" in this definition. The reality is, people are not selfless in the long run, there's always a reward involved even if it's just wanting to feel righteous and there's nothing wrong with that, because you sacrificed something. At the end of the day we're all just programmed for self preservation and good and bad are just words.