Haven't seen or spoken to my sister for 6 years now and next year will be seven. It's only gonna go up from here. So glad I broke away from her AND my narc mother.
I feel like this is basically what I'm about to go through. It's on my mind all the time I can't stand it. So much respect for you for going NC. I hope you're doing better.
Been there. Go back hoping for better. It's only worse because I see exactly what she's doing. I haven't shared that with her because I know it will go nowhere and anything I say will be used against me. So I guess I'll go no contact again.
You either learn to cooperate with your family mother and sibling, or if the environment is too toxic, you go no contact and seek for therapy. There are no other choices. When I used to fight with my mother or my sister, I thought I just had to cooperate with them. But they became so toxic, I started to go no contact and seek for therapy.
Yes I go threw turmoil and I'm going no contact, it's the best thing todo to keep your sanity. They never change no matter what you do, it's always the victims fault not theirs.
My sister is greedy, selfish, manipulative, highly competitive in everything, super jealous, a thief, physically abusive, just to name a few. I finally threw her out of my life (not literally) over 2 years ago after trying for 61 years to get along with her. She would constantly disappear and then reappear, it was a constant thing with her. She would re-enter my life whenever she needed something. And I would always give her whatever she wanted until a dear friend of mine suggested that my sister might be an actual narcissist. I looked up the definition and my sister checked every single box. Finally, I understood that she was a psychopath who could never be cured and that it wasn't me. What a relief. My sister constantly told me that I was the most selfish person in the entire world. That's how she manipulated me into giving and doing whatever she wanted. Now, I couldn't care less if I ever saw her again. That is so sad to think that I could discard a family member so easily and that it doesn't bother me at all but I've never been happier. Finally, there is peace in my life. I just feel sorry for the unsuspecting souls out there whom she will use and manipulate until she gets bored with them and then seeks another person whose life she can destroy. What a vulture.
@@93Jubilee Thank you dear friend, you're very sweet. My heart goes out to you too for having endured the same toxic relationship. I pray you've left her far behind. I'm sending you a big warm hug!
I understand what you mean. I had an older sister behaving that way towards me and my mother would leave my sister alone, because she was a golden child and I was the scapegoat. Both of them were protective, but also very manipulative towards me, making me do whatever they wanted as favours. And that's because they viewed me as a threat later, which was sad. Our father was absent when this was going on, but was the only person who tried to be emotionally there for me when I needed him the most. Patriarchy affected girls and women into competing against each other, to get the man of their dreams. That is the only explanation behind their behaviour. I went to therapy for years so I can learn to set boundaries towards my friends, but also my family members as well. I hope you find happiness and therapy as well, because you deserve it!
This is Joanna my sister is the same way. Mean and nasty jealous knows no boundaries thinks she is highly favored with God. We are all sinners that's why Jesus died on cross and rose after three days.❤
My sister is the worst. She’s a master manipulator. I sincerely hope someone shows her how it feels to be treated the way she has treated our mom. And me.
@@juliagetty-gordon2500Same here. I am tired of my older sister, accusing me of things I haven't done and her critisizing me horribly. She is no different from my mother who mistreated me, due to being the youngest...😒 I have low to no contacts with her. I prefer my freedom.
Yup, my eldest went to an ivy league type school and is making bank as an engineer. The only way to deal with her is by ignoring her and going no contact. The worst part is when you see how they sabotage your relationship with them when you’ve had nothing but good intentions for that relationship. This kind of sabotage happens to me all the time as an ugly guy in other relationships. My older brother is much better looking than me and everyone gets along with him fine. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve had hypocritical instances where my brother finds himself as the victim in both polar opposite situations. I found this out when I let him drive my car. Confidence really is key in life. If you’re confident you’re the victim or the main character in life… chances are that other people will believe you. Some of us just get the wrong set of genes. The only way out is to not play their game. Stoicism works in a lot of these instances.
Same here. She is older than me and always acted entitled, because she was the golden child in the family, while I was the scapegoat. My mother would just compare me to her, which was why, me and my sister were competing against each other, even as young adults until we outgrew this. My childhood was very messy, but I moved forward with the help of therapy.
I have been no contact with my older jealous N sister now for 8 months. I'm 67 and tired of her bullsh*t, always having to walk on eggshells and not even being able to even have a simple conversation without her getting loud and argumentative. She was literally like the black aura entering the room. My 2 younger out of state sisters seem to be having the hardest time with it, but they have never been around her as much, to totally get fed up with her antics. My motto is "once you reach retirement age, you don't have to deal with people telling you what to do any longer, and, you do only the things that you want to do". My peacefulness is saving my health and my life. Loving it!
Much respect to all whom have gone NC or are gray rocking.... been gray rocking for last year or so. Her husband has started mocking me, making dominance plays.... I'm completely cutting him out of my life now. As a disabled guy, I don't need to be put into a situation where I need to defend myself on Christmas day.... and my sister just pat's his leg while he mocks me.... and my mother, she just says it's nothing, I'm too sensitive. I'm ready to cut them all off tbh.... sorry for venting
@@itzajdmtingyou are right, you shouldn't have to defend yourself especially on Christmas day. Grey rock and boundaries works to a degree if you can't get away but if you can no contact is the only way to grieve then heal. I sought professional help to get away as family wanted to sabotage me and my child. After 4 years NC I'm making slow connections with the ones who defended me in my absence despite narc sisters lies. I forgive her, but trust is obliterated. I pray you get support and have the courage to go no contact, the first "no" is the hardest but they become easier once you realise you can do whatever YOU want to do. Jesus loves you mate, took me 40 years to find that truth ❤🙏🕊✨️
Oh my gosh I have this 1 she is horrible. I just discovered this about a year ago. I always thought poor sister she has all the bad luck. I felt bad for her I helped her above and beyond what I should of done for a sister. I had to down play my life to make sure she didn’t feel bad about herself put my own family aside to make she she was good. I created this monster by never going against her and letting her be.
yep that is my sibling. we are not in contact and that is quite pleasant. all 7 apply. as far as the empathy, she regularly reminded me that she is an empath - yeah, no. she has a proven history of cruelty to family, entitlement, blame shifting, lying and half-truths, gas lighting, manipulation, smear campaigns. Pretty much all of it. and when a mutual acquaintance told me "she is such a sweetie", i had to control my facial expressions and realize that she saves her angelic face for outsiders. we are in our 50s so the pattern has been set for many decades.
That’s why I cringe when I hear people le describing themselves as empaths, which loads of people do. I think narcissists are very capable of thinking they’re empaths.
Im terrified because I’m abroad with her and her girlfriend and has been a nightmare. Today is my birthday and I found someone stole my dog, she left me alone at a city I don’t know going thru this pain at my very birthday. The worst part is I didn’t want to spend my birthday here, she manipulated me.
… your circumstances are abysmal but temporary … and then there’s the lost pup …. the worst part of this story … … you must never allow this to happen again … I have narc siblings and dealing with them is so very difficult and confusing. I have chosen to remain stoic around them, refusing to offer any emotion their way because they get off on negative vibes, just the same. … checked out your page. You’re a talented, charismatic person who will continue to be played by your sis and others like her if you persist in maintaining these relationships. … having been a student of the philosophy of stoicism over the past year, has proved to become my antidote to their toxicity … …it’s not easy but it is effective and you will be a calmer, cooler person … incapable of caving to manipulation and under the control of your own mind … …
This is my sister. My mother just died and she hurt me so much because she blames my mother for things she fucked up. My mother was not a narcissist, it could be her father (we have different ones). Now i understand why she is the way she is. And I will never forgive her for what she said about Mom and what lies she spreads.
When you are the older sibling, your parents pressure you with expectations. However when you are the middle or younger one, first they spoil you, but then accuse you of not being as good as your older siblings. They treat you kindly, but then proceed to destroy you, because they view you as a threat. It's about twisted favouritism.
Yes, twisted favoritism for sure but family dichotomy is just crazy almost in all families though most don’t talk about it. But, if things are not one-2-one then it’s the siblings doing as well under the bile influence of parents. :(( just know that, you are not alone in this misery….I am trying to move on from my adult trauma of being cheated by everyone in my family but not easy despite being very spiritual.
After years if being bullied by my sister I am finally realizing that she is likely a narcissist. It feels good to be cracking through the denial. But also sad.
Don't allow these people to "break" you!!! Be strong, that's the only good things that comes of having a narcissistic family member: you can gain strength from the experience.
Don't worry I understand. I went through the same experience. My older sister would be like the golden child and I would be the bad and guilty scapegoat always. She would make me hate myself, terror my reputation in school and manipulate my decisions similarly to my mother. I am done with her bs.
My sister never realizes how much pain I have gone through as a kid ( trauma stuff) she only talks about herself and when I talk to my mom about it she calls me a family breaker
@@casper1343Wow.... Well I guess that is what it means to be the unwanted child in the family, especially if you are the youngest. People never take you seriously.
It´s taken me 57 years to figure this out. And when I did, through the help of another channel on this, I felt sick. I realised that my sister is a malignant narcissist. She is a couple of years older, so when we were young she would try to bully me, her and my dad together. I would get angry of course and lash out. Then I would get the blame. As we grew older, this stopped because she didn´t dare try to be the bully. Then it turned to telling me stuff I didnt need to hear, like what she was getting up to with boys. Then she got pregnant at 18, and resented her daughter because whereas before, she could do no wrong in my fathers eyes, he didn´t handle it well, and was very angry about it. he and I even came to blows over it. Then when her daughter was born, he doted on her, his first granddaughter. I moved away, then it became the drama- please feel sorry for me. I´m so badly done to, I have such a hard life. Always trying to get me on her side while not giving a shit about anything in my life. She didnt even come to my wedding. She blamed her own kids for "ruining her life". And always resented anything good I did, even just like going on holiday. My Dad passed away from cancer in 2020, and she spent all that period screaming down the phone saying "you should be here/why should I do all this" (groceries, thats all, because my parents couldnt get out of the house because of covid and I´ve been living abroad for 17 years and couldnt get back because there were no flights) now my mum is coming to the end, and still she has zero empathy. Mum can barely speak and my sister screams and rages at her. SHe knows how close my mum and I are and uses that to manipulate me. And when she was still at home alone after my dad died, was gaslighting her, locking her in the house, making mum question her own judgement. I still have to put up with her while Mum is still alive, because she lives closest and we have joint POA. But when mums has gone, I will be cutting my sister off, and out of my life. And then maybe I´ll finally get some peace.
I'm 68. I definitely had a worst sister. You know we loved them but never understood them. They suffered us and we kept staying in the relationship. Once I found utube videos I began to learn how to be discerning. I now understand the truth and it seems we are shattered. Just trying to put those pieces back. Seeing the full picture. Hoping to heal beyond the ruminating. Thankful for the utube videos...
I've come to feel sorry for my narc sister. When she just starting out teaching elementary school, a terrible wreck occurred at pick-up time and a mother struck and hit (and killed) a little boy who dashed out into traffic. She reported the tragedy to my mother and me with NO feelings -- except for utter disdain for the poor woman who was driving the car that killed the child. I'll never forget the way she imitated that poor woman's hysterics! She had pure disgust, nothing else.You can extrapolate from that how she had "sympathy" for me, a younger sister, during various difficult times in my own life.
I am very sorry this happened to you... I had a similar experience to this, but all I can say is once you find yourself, you can create your own path apart from your sister.
That is horrible.. and so telling. My sister was in an abusive relationship many years ago and was advised to keep a journal of the partner's behavior. She read me a portion of her journal, and I got chills. There was NO EMOTION. None. It was creepy. Now, decades later, the puzzle pieces are fitting for me. I am seeing her for what she truly is.. a narcissist.
Oh my god what a horrible story….To me it sounds like your sister is more than a narcissist, she sounds like a sociopath or psychopath. I can’t believe she mocked the woman. That is sick.
Mine discarded me for 16 months except for stalking me on social media and the occasional snarky text to remind me she is ignoring me. Recently I got a text, “I want my sister back.” She doesn’t realize that I’m not where she left me when throwing me away. The time away helped me face the truth and deal with the reality I denied for 40 years. She was always selfish, manipulative, and a gaslighter. I don’t want HER anymore. I grew up the scapegoat in a narcissist family. My mom was supreme ruler. When I grew up and started to stand for myself, they got ugly. I don’t want them back.
Or they have twisted things around to justify their own terrible actions and can’t keep her stories straight. She’s now catching herself in her own lies and then denies what she did yet again.
My narcissist sister turned my father against me... shortly before his death during Covid. I recently learned some things from the source of certain situation that were complete lies I was told! That and left out information that changed complete situations! I am in awe! Because I live 500 miles and a border away... I am the "bad guy" forever! I am the one that "moved away". hmm...she's the only one that had that kind of problem. I HAVE become the enemy to many. I'm waiting for people to come to my face with her lies.. only to tell them something completely different "from the source". Thanks for reminding me to look to buy bakers outfits for my nephews little kids! We are going to make dog cookies next time I'm up! Love my warm Canadian relatives!
Sounds like you were the scapegoat. I can relate to what you’re going through and honestly it’s a great feeling of relief to be away from this dysfunctional family
The reality of it is if you stay consistent with who you are & your family knows it will make it very difficult for the narcissist to Manipulate people against you.
My wife is a fraternal twin, but looks enough like her sister that you can tell they are twins. We have only just recently come to the realization that her sister is a narcissist, and finally understand how to deal with her and not upset ourselves with how outrageous she can be. It would make amazing content. Just so much to touch on going back to their childhood. Bullying, stealing clothes, stealing friends and crushes, projection, triangulation, and the levels to which she would go to win, such as smearing and calling her job during an argument. Chameleon, overshares, often dismisses my wife’s feeling as playing the victim, laughing at inappropriate times. She resented sharing a birthday. I think there is something to their dad naming her sister and favoring her. He was a cocky, angry little man. It’s probably where she gets it.
My sister got mad at me when my son died. He owed his landlord money. My son died suddenly. The landlord called me in the morning the day after he died about the money. When I told her about this and went to get his belongings, I was upset over all of it. She got mad at me. 5 years later she still says horrible stuff. I finally stopped social media and talking to her
i'm no expert by far. i want to say my sister is queen of virtue signaling, makes me sick to my stomach knowing her. yes she has thrown me under the bus big time. like jail time! now it's NO CONTACT at all! I am free from her madness! AMEN!
my brother is a malignant narcissistic and cut ties with me since he felt i was harming his image. i miss him dearly and wish things weren't this way. he lives 2 hours away but might as well be 2,000 miles away. it's painful since he's kind to everyone else but when it comes to me there's no empathy, no compassion and just cruelty and lies. not sure if he saw me as a threat but i do wish things weren't this way.
It's not your fault you were born and raised in a toxic environment... I'm so sorry your brother treated you so poorly, I hope you leave this place immediately and find peace for yourself.
He probably felt you were a threat to him, so he "killed you first." Here's the hardest part of the whole narc sibling: having to give up the vain hope that someday you are going to have a normal, loving, brotherly or sisterly relationship with them. Remember, they are not capable of feeling for you, unless you bow down to them and follow their instructions, which most people with dignity will refuse to do at some point.
@@elizabethblane201 it's true. i've only recently realized this. unless you submit to him and let him control you, he wont keep you around since he does view you as a threat. it's extremely sad since im only 32 and he's around 34 but i've come to terms with the fact he and i will never have a loving brotherly relationship.
It doesn't quite seem fair, we who have narcissistic siblings have to work so hard to overcome all the insults, criticisms, pompousness etc when they're just flaunting their entitlement and most times aren't even aware they are doing it. I just spent Christmas with my older narc sister and I found myself staring at the clock after about an hour. I was waiting for her to leave! I did feel pity for her this time though. Although it's not really love, it is at least some kind of feeling whereas usually I am just indifferent because I know what's coming. Also, I have decided that I am glad that I'm different from her. I'm glad to be an empathic, authentic person. I hope she seeks some therapy.
Narcs typically don't seek therapy unless they want a "yes" man who will prop up her false beliefs, or she will want to battle it out with you so that she can to dominate and crush you via her therapist.
My sister has been doing this now since we were young. It was awful. My dad favor her as did my siblings. She had them calling me horrible names. And my dad abused me. So it was very lonely. It followed into adulthood. I tried to fit in BUT she never let it happen. I knew it felt like something was off. But no one ever said anything. Now I see how it works. Its the disfunction. And her controlling. And how my father allowed it. When my father passed away. It got bad. My sister went after my mom. And begin to slowly move in our our relationship.. our church relationship. And my mom didn't stop her. My mom would begin lying to me often when they do things together. And make up reason why they were leaving me out. And I was being sensitive and I should let it go. Blah blah blah. I the lies got so bad especially when my brother passed away. They did awful things to me. And my sister got my mom to play in on lies. I had to talk steps away. I can't believe how much they were willing to lie to hurt me. And my sister never said sorry. I have went no contact. With them all. I can't continue to feel like I am a part of a family who feels it's ok to lie and mislead and you to not have the right for healthy truth and resolve. I pray for her. But i choose now to FOLLOW GOD and his Truth. And I will not continue let them hurt me.
The day my mother died my half sister (we have different mothers) asked if I was going to work the next day. I thought that was a disrespectful question. I have looked at her differently ever since.
I went no contact for 3 years before my narc sister killed herself. After her death I received an 8 page letter from her blaming me for everything that happened to her and said the reason she killed herself because I abandoned her. Sending me this letter was her last power move to hurt me knowing I would have no recourse. She was the rebel and I was the "good girl". She always said mom and dad loved me more. I said no they don't. I was just easier to love. It is a sad realization that I NEVER loved her. When I see sisters who are close and love each other it is foreign to me. She always made me feel like a bug on a pin and she would periodically pick a wing off. She was 3 years older than me. But she professed publicly that she loved her little sister.😢
Even if your sister was all sorts of horrible things….is there absolutely no feeling from you for her? I am sad that she felt unloved, that she felt abandoned (even if maybe you were perfectly right to do so) and I am sad that she got to the loneliest point in the world, where she killed herself.
I am soo sorry you had to go through that. Yes, it was a last ditch effort to hurt you. Please don't take it personal or serious. They will avoid accountability at ALL cost. Her problems in life were all her own. Not yours or anyone else's.
Oh my God this is so sad instantly my eyes started watering I feel so bad. I’m so sorry you had to go through that that is so tragic. I went no contact with my sister recently and sometimes I wonder if she would do that to herself
The last time I spoke to mine she said I’ll always be OK as long as I have you in my life and I was so touched by that but now I realize it was manipulative she knows that I’m distant because of her ways. May you find peace and true love❤
My sister is 7 years older than me and she told me that when I was little she would be mean to me to make me cry and then be nice so I would hug her because I was so cute but that is actually still our dynamic. She loves to be the hero but she also loves to control and sabotage. Every one else just sees the hero though.
I disowned my older sister. She emotionally abused me to the point she added to my depression. It was hard af to do...but I had enough. She's a sister in name only. idc that she now has Lymphoma, the non-hodgkins variety.
My sister was acting so childish since I was a little kid and I didn’t like how she was acting towards me when that happened because she has Histronic Personally Disorder or ODD, or possibly PMDD Or DMDD and that’s why she’s acting like that.
my youngest sister accused the middle sister of SA. total and utter BS after years and decades of home cooked meals, hospitality, gifts, taking her in when she was homeless.. the more we gave to her the less she respected us. the day she made that accusation however, was the last day either of us talked to her. over 3 years now and life is so much better. totally backfired on her. i know it still bothers my sister that was wrongfully accused but we now know exactly who youngest sister is and that is a toxic monster.
My narcisister accused my dad of SA about 30 years ago, after my dad was dead and could not defend himself. It was during the heyday of the "repressed memory craze" in the 1990s, and it completely tore the family apart. My poor mother suffered the most.
My sister has to have the best in everything. Biggest house, and best cars. She says she works hard to she deserves the best. And can’t emphasize with someone that does not have her status as well. She says they can’t get their life together or just lazy.
You wouldn’t believe the damage my narcissistic sister, helped along with our narcissistic mother have done in our family, even dragged my youngest sister to believe their lies to the point where our adoptive only child has left our lives (wife and myself) to be with another big family at 17, as wife’s parents have passed on, she’s on a mental breakdown, I hate narcissistic people, there should be a criminal prosecution for this abuse
My sister invited me to thanksgiving this year to city hall with 75 people her boyfriend and my mom that has done literal horror beyond horror that has also broken me. My sister doesn’t give a flying fuck about what I’m actually going thru. I am hurting and have been for years but she is so focused in on her relationship that he neglects me, and today I said why would you have me come and expect me to catch a ride with mom? I didn’t expect that. She has not apologized to me and I hate her to be frank she is awful 🫣😭 anyways my sis said she doesn’t care that I am grieving two dead cats and no one but me takes accountability for anything. I thought it would be okay to catch a ride with my sis and she might be okay with taking me home but she said nah it’s too much out of the way. 15 minutes.. I have picked her up many times drunk, came to the rescue etc and she blatantly refused/ignored/ walked away from me after I said: I don’t get it.. I would do it for you.. it’s one thing. I’m brought to tears becuz it’s just simply too much to deal with for one person.
Yep. All of these traits exist in my relationship with my sister. I've worked hard to know myself so I can deal with this type of behavior more effectively. Unfortunately, it's best to grey-wall people who carry traits defined in this post.
After 3 years of no contact, she reached out, said she wouldn’t bring up past junk anymore, wanted to move forward and rekindle the relationship. I very hesitantly and slowly let her back in. She even starting reestablishing a relationship with my two adult daughters. And in true form, after only a few weeks, she got mad when things didn’t go her way, sent a mean text to my daughter and we haven’t seen her since (about 2 months now). She blames me for everything always. Please send the free help guide. I need it. 😵💫
My father was a narcissist and my sister always accused him of being one. At the time I had no idea what a narcissist was. I thought she was just name calling. However, I now realize that she’s a narcissist too! Guess it takes one to know one. Looking back I have so many examples of her deception, lies, smears, lack of care, etc. I’m the oldest and I think she has always been jealous. Why, I don’t know. Of late, our narcissist father died at age 91 years. You’d think the family would come together. Nope. She and the Golden Child formed an alliance against me, the scapegoat. The siblings all seemed to embrace their narcissistic family role following our Dad’s passing. My narcissist sister turned everyone against me with her lies and smears, with help from the Golden Child. It’s like our narcissist father kept everyone on their good behavior. After he died the family turned on me, the oldest. It was strange that weeks before our father died, the Gold Child asked me “Who’s going to take Dad’s place after he’s gone?” I thought this was odd since our dad was in ok health. I realize now that this question was “Who are we going to resent and hate after Dad’s gone?” The scapegoat (me) was their obvious choice. It’ll be 3 years in January 2024 of no contact. Well, except I send them ALL (even the nieces and nephews) Christmas cards. Just to wish them well and let them know we’re still alive (ages 84 and 72.)
Surprising a narc will recognize one. Because their identity would be too fragile to admit they are related to one. My sisters care so much about their image. Right now my mother is dying of cancer. My sisters have accused me of not caring. Even though I was there. They blow up some thing I did wrong, while downplaying or ignoring things I do right. It's more like I'm a second class citizen in my family.
This is so like my sister She is really poisonous When l ran from my violent ex husband with three small children she went to court on his behalf as did my mother saying there was nothing wrong with him and he should have custody of the children I felt utterly betrayed I have barely spoken to her since She contacts me when dhe needs someone to look after her dogs or something else The answer is always no
When my mother developed dementia, my younger sister took over. Nothing I did was ever good enough, and everything I had done for my mother previously was erased. My sister is a white knight - she wanted to be the "sole carer" to maximise her image of a perfect daughter, so she pushed me out. She even works in the health care industry and gets extra "supply" from her job. I have no contact with either of my sisters - I've suffered far too much from narcissists, they've bled me dry.
One my sister had on my new pair of shorts even though she was larger than me. I told her to take them off before she stretched them. She actually told me that I had given them to her. She found out very quickly that was the wrong thing to say to me. I took them off her myself. She didn't learn to leave my stuff alone but I did enjoy taking them back. I looked at her friend who also had my clothes on and asked her was she going to take them off and give them back or was I going to have to do it? She very quickly gave them to me. Sometimes it can just build up until it's too much.
This is a reason. Your siblings had to compete for your parent’s attention. You didn’t so they’ve always felt cheated. This is why they try to take advantage when your parents die, try to pirate your friends or triangulate your kids. They scapegoat you rather than understand all parents make mistakes and all are flawed. We all are Let them go. They forfeited the right to be in your life
She does the classic bait and switch, loud, aggressive, and triangulates with my brothers like there’s something wrong with me since I don’t want to spend time with them. And she also brags about attracting different men
All my sisters are narcissists and bad-mouth me to others routinely and make themselves out to be the victim of my lies. Everyone that knows me, say I'm too honest (what's too honest?) I'm the only one of four girls that has children.
My sister is that one. I don't know why I even call her. She's been abusive and selfish since we were younger. I am like a rusty knife from the abuse by a violent home and my father. It's very sickening. I'm 61 she is 65. I really just don't care about her anymore. I've learned that my feelings are ok. I'm just done with all the bullshit people want to bestow. 🎉😂
All I ever wanted was for her to approve of me, love me, and want to be near me. I didn't understand... she was never going to let that happen. I didn't realize that she despised me since the moment I was born, and is jealous of me, and sees me as an object. But no matter how self deprecating I became, she didn't approve of me and she treats me like I'm I am an attention-seeking, arrogant b!tch. It doesn't matter how humble or kind I attempt to be, she always insults me and treats me like I'm an arrogant jerk for having a conversation with one of our friends. I didn't realize she only shows me affection when I am catatonically depressed, and then it feels like she's patting me on the head and congratulating me for being quiet and sad. When I gained some weight she seemed to be nicer to me, she acted less jealously towards me, but as soon as I lost weight she hated me again. She would love for me to be extremely unhealthy and depressed. So I'm going to be happy. I'm going to live my life. I'm going to trust people again some day. I don't need or want her approval anymore. I don't want to be near her anymore. I will always love my sister, but she's a sociopath and it hurts to be near her. All she does is hurt me.
After reading all the comments, I just want to point out that what happens in childhood isn’t always narcissistic behavior. It’s siblings being siblings and unfortunately not having great parenting to work things out. I don’t blame my sister for things she called me or did to me as kids (I’m sure I was ugly too). It’s when we are adults and still acting like children that you can see the toxic traits including narcissism. I never think it’s fair to use our childhood drama as weapons. We were children and clearly we needed some good parenting (we latchkey kids were on our own a lot! Lol) but if the behavior continues to adulthood when they know better and don’t do better, that’s when the relationship has to be dealt with. My narcissist sister is 50 and still is pulling the same junk and it’s gotten worse as she’s become older. Anyway, just my two cents. Don’t bring up the fight at age 10. But what’s happening now is what’s important. Does that resonate with anyone?
Haven't seen or spoken to my sister for 6 years now and next year will be seven. It's only gonna go up from here. So glad I broke away from her AND my narc mother.
Going through it right now and it's so painful to make the decision to keep them away 😢 but knowing it's the best for you
I feel like this is basically what I'm about to go through. It's on my mind all the time I can't stand it. So much respect for you for going NC. I hope you're doing better.
Been there. Go back hoping for better. It's only worse because I see exactly what she's doing. I haven't shared that with her because I know it will go nowhere and anything I say will be used against me. So I guess I'll go no contact again.
You either learn to cooperate with your family mother and sibling, or if the environment is too toxic, you go no contact and seek for therapy. There are no other choices. When I used to fight with my mother or my sister, I thought I just had to cooperate with them. But they became so toxic, I started to go no contact and seek for therapy.
Yes I go threw turmoil and I'm going no contact, it's the best thing todo to keep your sanity.
They never change no matter what you do, it's always the victims fault not theirs.
My sister is greedy, selfish, manipulative, highly competitive in everything, super jealous, a thief, physically abusive, just to name a few. I finally threw her out of my life (not literally) over 2 years ago after trying for 61 years to get along with her. She would constantly disappear and then reappear, it was a constant thing with her. She would re-enter my life whenever she needed something. And I would always give her whatever she wanted until a dear friend of mine suggested that my sister might be an actual narcissist. I looked up the definition and my sister checked every single box. Finally, I understood that she was a psychopath who could never be cured and that it wasn't me. What a relief. My sister constantly told me that I was the most selfish person in the entire world. That's how she manipulated me into giving and doing whatever she wanted. Now, I couldn't care less if I ever saw her again. That is so sad to think that I could discard a family member so easily and that it doesn't bother me at all but I've never been happier. Finally, there is peace in my life. I just feel sorry for the unsuspecting souls out there whom she will use and manipulate until she gets bored with them and then seeks another person whose life she can destroy. What a vulture.
I'm so sorry you endured that. She sounds very similar to my own sister. Hugs to you!
@@93Jubilee Thank you dear friend, you're very sweet. My heart goes out to you too for having endured the same toxic relationship. I pray you've left her far behind. I'm sending you a big warm hug!
I understand what you mean. I had an older sister behaving that way towards me and my mother would leave my sister alone, because she was a golden child and I was the scapegoat. Both of them were protective, but also very manipulative towards me, making me do whatever they wanted as favours. And that's because they viewed me as a threat later, which was sad. Our father was absent when this was going on, but was the only person who tried to be emotionally there for me when I needed him the most.
Patriarchy affected girls and women into competing against each other, to get the man of their dreams. That is the only explanation behind their behaviour.
I went to therapy for years so I can learn to set boundaries towards my friends, but also my family members as well.
I hope you find happiness and therapy as well, because you deserve it!
This is Joanna my sister is the same way. Mean and nasty jealous knows no boundaries thinks she is highly favored with God. We are all sinners that's why Jesus died on cross and rose after three days.❤
@@Richard-i1o6y Amen!
My sister is the worst. She’s a master manipulator. I sincerely hope someone shows her how it feels to be treated the way she has treated our mom. And me.
Same experience ongoing ..though I try to go no contact as much as possible
@@juliagetty-gordon2500Same here. I am tired of my older sister, accusing me of things I haven't done and her critisizing me horribly. She is no different from my mother who mistreated me, due to being the youngest...😒 I have low to no contacts with her. I prefer my freedom.
Yup, my eldest went to an ivy league type school and is making bank as an engineer. The only way to deal with her is by ignoring her and going no contact.
The worst part is when you see how they sabotage your relationship with them when you’ve had nothing but good intentions for that relationship. This kind of sabotage happens to me all the time as an ugly guy in other relationships. My older brother is much better looking than me and everyone gets along with him fine.
There’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve had hypocritical instances where my brother finds himself as the victim in both polar opposite situations. I found this out when I let him drive my car.
Confidence really is key in life. If you’re confident you’re the victim or the main character in life… chances are that other people will believe you. Some of us just get the wrong set of genes. The only way out is to not play their game. Stoicism works in a lot of these instances.
Demonic behavior. I have a narcissistic sister and its sad.
Agreed.
Same here. She is older than me and always acted entitled, because she was the golden child in the family, while I was the scapegoat.
My mother would just compare me to her, which was why, me and my sister were competing against each other, even as young adults until we outgrew this.
My childhood was very messy, but I moved forward with the help of therapy.
Isn't it the worst thing I have two
@@carlarankel5663 Yeah sorry, sisters are just as bad as brothers are. And sometimes worse because they are sneaky as well.
@@carlarankel5663 I have two also that go tag team on me, they are blocked and I have walked away.
I have two narcissistic sisters. I haven't spoken to any of them in a while and I plan on keeping it that way.
I understand
They’re loss.
I have been no contact with my older jealous N sister now for 8 months. I'm 67 and tired of her bullsh*t, always having to walk on eggshells and not even being able to even have a simple conversation without her getting loud and argumentative. She was literally like the black aura entering the room. My 2 younger out of state sisters seem to be having the hardest time with it, but they have never been around her as much, to totally get fed up with her antics. My motto is "once you reach retirement age, you don't have to deal with people telling you what to do any longer, and, you do only the things that you want to do". My peacefulness is saving my health and my life. Loving it!
My sister is toxic, haven't spoken to her in 4 years. Life is good ❤
Same!
That's why I haven't seen my sister for nine years...
Can’t wait for nine years 😂, it’s only been nine months.
Much respect to all whom have gone NC or are gray rocking.... been gray rocking for last year or so. Her husband has started mocking me, making dominance plays.... I'm completely cutting him out of my life now. As a disabled guy, I don't need to be put into a situation where I need to defend myself on Christmas day.... and my sister just pat's his leg while he mocks me.... and my mother, she just says it's nothing, I'm too sensitive. I'm ready to cut them all off tbh.... sorry for venting
@@itzajdmtingyou are right, you shouldn't have to defend yourself especially on Christmas day. Grey rock and boundaries works to a degree if you can't get away but if you can no contact is the only way to grieve then heal. I sought professional help to get away as family wanted to sabotage me and my child. After 4 years NC I'm making slow connections with the ones who defended me in my absence despite narc sisters lies. I forgive her, but trust is obliterated. I pray you get support and have the courage to go no contact, the first "no" is the hardest but they become easier once you realise you can do whatever YOU want to do. Jesus loves you mate, took me 40 years to find that truth ❤🙏🕊✨️
@@itzajdmtingkeep venting here. You're in good company.
@@TheRealMonnie thanks.... It was embarrassing to read my comment again. But this is what I'm dealing with.
I had to go no contact with mine. She is a victim narcissist and that is the worst kind.
yes! she treats me like crap and manages to make me feel sorry for her
Oh my gosh I have this 1 she is horrible. I just discovered this about a year ago. I always thought poor sister she has all the bad luck. I felt bad for her I helped her above and beyond what I should of done for a sister.
I had to down play my life to make sure she didn’t feel bad about herself put my own family aside to make she she was good.
I created this monster by never going against her and letting her be.
Same. Blames me
yep that is my sibling. we are not in contact and that is quite pleasant. all 7 apply. as far as the empathy, she regularly reminded me that she is an empath - yeah, no. she has a proven history of cruelty to family, entitlement, blame shifting, lying and half-truths, gas lighting, manipulation, smear campaigns. Pretty much all of it. and when a mutual acquaintance told me "she is such a sweetie", i had to control my facial expressions and realize that she saves her angelic face for outsiders. we are in our 50s so the pattern has been set for many decades.
Same when peeps have been hoodwinked, i just think they must be so blind but then i remenber that they are atomic academy award worthy hoodwinkers
That’s why I cringe when I hear people le describing themselves as empaths, which loads of people do. I think narcissists are very capable of thinking they’re empaths.
My lying sister almost has me believing she's an empathy. She is a master manipulator. A con woman.
Im terrified because I’m abroad with her and her girlfriend and has been a nightmare. Today is my birthday and I found someone stole my dog, she left me alone at a city I don’t know going thru this pain at my very birthday. The worst part is I didn’t want to spend my birthday here, she manipulated me.
… your circumstances are abysmal but temporary … and then there’s the lost pup …. the worst part of this story …
… you must never allow this to happen again … I have narc siblings and dealing with them
is so very difficult and confusing. I have chosen to remain stoic around them, refusing to offer any emotion their way because they get off on negative vibes, just the same.
… checked out your page. You’re a talented, charismatic person who will continue to be played by your sis and others like her if you persist in maintaining these relationships.
… having been a student of the philosophy of stoicism over the past year, has proved to become my antidote to their toxicity …
…it’s not easy but it is effective and you will be a calmer, cooler person … incapable of caving to manipulation and under the control of your own mind …
…
My evil stepsister are planning a trip I refuse to go anywhere with someone who has animosity they will do things to ruin you out your comfort zone
SAdly they can put family members against you even yiure own child Its all so sad xx
This is my sister. My mother just died and she hurt me so much because she blames my mother for things she fucked up. My mother was not a narcissist, it could be her father (we have different ones). Now i understand why she is the way she is. And I will never forgive her for what she said about Mom and what lies she spreads.
She blame me for my mother's death who had cancer and kidney disease
When my mother passes away....I can't imagine I'll ever see her again.
When you are the older sibling, your parents pressure you with expectations. However when you are the middle or younger one, first they spoil you, but then accuse you of not being as good as your older siblings. They treat you kindly, but then proceed to destroy you, because they view you as a threat. It's about twisted favouritism.
Yes, twisted favoritism for sure but family dichotomy is just crazy almost in all families though most don’t talk about it. But, if things are not one-2-one then it’s the siblings doing as well under the bile influence of parents. :(( just know that, you are not alone in this misery….I am trying to move on from my adult trauma of being cheated by everyone in my family but not easy despite being very spiritual.
After years if being bullied by my sister I am finally realizing that she is likely a narcissist. It feels good to be cracking through the denial. But also sad.
Mine broke me.
She didn't break you, she lost the most beautiful butterfly in her life, so she broke herself :*
Mine broke me as well.
Mine managed to guilt trip me and make me feel bad about myself... And she is older than me, despite acting like a child!
I can relate to all of this.
Don't allow these people to "break" you!!! Be strong, that's the only good things that comes of having a narcissistic family member: you can gain strength from the experience.
My sister is making my mum to hate me. She is in such a glory and making me look so small and usless.
Don't worry I understand. I went through the same experience. My older sister would be like the golden child and I would be the bad and guilty scapegoat always.
She would make me hate myself, terror my reputation in school and manipulate my decisions similarly to my mother. I am done with her bs.
My sister never realizes how much pain I have gone through as a kid ( trauma stuff) she only talks about herself and when I talk to my mom about it she calls me a family breaker
@@casper1343Wow.... Well I guess that is what it means to be the unwanted child in the family, especially if you are the youngest. People never take you seriously.
@@missstranger7697 I am the oldest sibling
@@casper1343 Oh my bad😐
It´s taken me 57 years to figure this out. And when I did, through the help of another channel on this, I felt sick. I realised that my sister is a malignant narcissist. She is a couple of years older, so when we were young she would try to bully me, her and my dad together. I would get angry of course and lash out. Then I would get the blame. As we grew older, this stopped because she didn´t dare try to be the bully. Then it turned to telling me stuff I didnt need to hear, like what she was getting up to with boys. Then she got pregnant at 18, and resented her daughter because whereas before, she could do no wrong in my fathers eyes, he didn´t handle it well, and was very angry about it. he and I even came to blows over it. Then when her daughter was born, he doted on her, his first granddaughter. I moved away, then it became the drama- please feel sorry for me. I´m so badly done to, I have such a hard life. Always trying to get me on her side while not giving a shit about anything in my life. She didnt even come to my wedding. She blamed her own kids for "ruining her life". And always resented anything good I did, even just like going on holiday. My Dad passed away from cancer in 2020, and she spent all that period screaming down the phone saying "you should be here/why should I do all this" (groceries, thats all, because my parents couldnt get out of the house because of covid and I´ve been living abroad for 17 years and couldnt get back because there were no flights) now my mum is coming to the end, and still she has zero empathy. Mum can barely speak and my sister screams and rages at her. SHe knows how close my mum and I are and uses that to manipulate me. And when she was still at home alone after my dad died, was gaslighting her, locking her in the house, making mum question her own judgement. I still have to put up with her while Mum is still alive, because she lives closest and we have joint POA. But when mums has gone, I will be cutting my sister off, and out of my life. And then maybe I´ll finally get some peace.
I promise theres immense peace. The soul tie can be broken! I've never felt better, confident, happier more at peace and SANE.
I'm 68. I definitely had a worst sister. You know we loved them but never understood them. They suffered us and we kept staying in the relationship. Once I found utube videos I began to learn how to be discerning. I now understand the truth and it seems we are shattered. Just trying to put those pieces back. Seeing the full picture. Hoping to heal beyond the ruminating. Thankful for the utube videos...
Yep need to dissolve the ruminating with what works for you. No need for youbto let them spend so much time in your head rent free
My 30 year old sister literally threw a tantrum when our step father died. She was demanding personal items, that belonged to him, for herself.
I've come to feel sorry for my narc sister. When she just starting out teaching elementary school, a terrible wreck occurred at pick-up time and a mother struck and hit (and killed) a little boy who dashed out into traffic. She reported the tragedy to my mother and me with NO feelings -- except for utter disdain for the poor woman who was driving the car that killed the child. I'll never forget the way she imitated that poor woman's hysterics! She had pure disgust, nothing else.You can extrapolate from that how she had "sympathy" for me, a younger sister, during various difficult times in my own life.
I am very sorry this happened to you... I had a similar experience to this, but all I can say is once you find yourself, you can create your own path apart from your sister.
That is horrible.. and so telling. My sister was in an abusive relationship many years ago and was advised to keep a journal of the partner's behavior. She read me a portion of her journal, and I got chills. There was NO EMOTION. None. It was creepy. Now, decades later, the puzzle pieces are fitting for me. I am seeing her for what she truly is.. a narcissist.
Oh my god what a horrible story….To me it sounds like your sister is more than a narcissist, she sounds like a sociopath or psychopath. I can’t believe she mocked the woman. That is sick.
Great description. I call her my narcissister.
That's good!
Same here. I don't feel bad for my older sister. She knew what she was doing, when she was guilt tripping me along with my mother.
I call her my shitster
Good one 😂
Mine discarded me for 16 months except for stalking me on social media and the occasional snarky text to remind me she is ignoring me.
Recently I got a text, “I want my sister back.”
She doesn’t realize that I’m not where she left me when throwing me away.
The time away helped me face the truth and deal with the reality I denied for 40 years.
She was always selfish, manipulative, and a gaslighter.
I don’t want HER anymore. I grew up the scapegoat in a narcissist family. My mom was supreme ruler.
When I grew up and started to stand for myself, they got ugly.
I don’t want them back.
Or they have twisted things around to justify their own terrible actions and can’t keep her stories straight. She’s now catching herself in her own lies and then denies what she did yet again.
My narcissist sister turned my father against me... shortly before his death during Covid. I recently learned some things from the source of certain situation that were complete lies I was told! That and left out information that changed complete situations! I am in awe! Because I live 500 miles and a border away... I am the "bad guy" forever! I am the one that "moved away". hmm...she's the only one that had that kind of problem. I HAVE become the enemy to many. I'm waiting for people to come to my face with her lies.. only to tell them something completely different "from the source".
Thanks for reminding me to look to buy bakers outfits for my nephews little kids! We are going to make dog cookies next time I'm up! Love my warm Canadian relatives!
Sounds like you were the scapegoat. I can relate to what you’re going through and honestly it’s a great feeling of relief to be away from this dysfunctional family
After getting rid of my narcissistic sisters, God has replaced them with truly sisters of God.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😛
Amen, God is good. Praying always.
The reality of it is if you stay consistent with who you are & your family knows it will make it very difficult for the narcissist to Manipulate people against you.
My wife is a fraternal twin, but looks enough like her sister that you can tell they are twins. We have only just recently come to the realization that her sister is a narcissist, and finally understand how to deal with her and not upset ourselves with how outrageous she can be. It would make amazing content. Just so much to touch on going back to their childhood. Bullying, stealing clothes, stealing friends and crushes, projection, triangulation, and the levels to which she would go to win, such as smearing and calling her job during an argument. Chameleon, overshares, often dismisses my wife’s feeling as playing the victim, laughing at inappropriate times. She resented sharing a birthday. I think there is something to their dad naming her sister and favoring her. He was a cocky, angry little man. It’s probably where she gets it.
Unfortunately, having a sister can be worse than having a brother. Because violence has no gender anymore.
"youre just an extention of their own identity"
Thats a great way to put it. Everything in this video explains my sister.
You nailed every aspect of these poisonous women!
How to make my mum see that my sister is narcissitic? Since I came back home she's been manipulating her to the degree that my mother is avoiding me.
She will have to see for herself the hard way. Go no contact with both of them.
Don’t waste your energy there’s nothing you can do to convince because they brainwashed people and they spend a whole lifetime doing it
@@kaylam8707yes no contact
My sister got mad at me when my son died. He owed his landlord money. My son died suddenly. The landlord called me in the morning the day after he died about the money. When I told her about this and went to get his belongings, I was upset over all of it. She got mad at me. 5 years later she still says horrible stuff. I finally stopped social media and talking to her
So sorry for your loss 🙏
They will go to any length to take your inheritance.
True. Money and material possessions are way more important to them than people. Especially family.
This is my sister down to a tee. She is pure evil.
her double standards are well known in our family. She is always making trouble.
i'm no expert by far. i want to say my sister is queen of virtue signaling, makes me sick to my stomach knowing her. yes she has thrown me under the bus big time. like jail time! now it's NO CONTACT at all! I am free from her madness! AMEN!
my brother is a malignant narcissistic and cut ties with me since he felt i was harming his image. i miss him dearly and wish things weren't this way. he lives 2 hours away but might as well be 2,000 miles away. it's painful since he's kind to everyone else but when it comes to me there's no empathy, no compassion and just cruelty and lies. not sure if he saw me as a threat but i do wish things weren't this way.
It's not your fault you were born and raised in a toxic environment... I'm so sorry your brother treated you so poorly, I hope you leave this place immediately and find peace for yourself.
@missstranger7697 thanks for the kind words and yep I'm focusing on dating to build a family of my own and have distanced myself from my brother.
@@yashwanthdhakshana4349Just remember that you are not alone in this misery.
He probably felt you were a threat to him, so he "killed you first." Here's the hardest part of the whole narc sibling: having to give up the vain hope that someday you are going to have a normal, loving, brotherly or sisterly relationship with them. Remember, they are not capable of feeling for you, unless you bow down to them and follow their instructions, which most people with dignity will refuse to do at some point.
@@elizabethblane201 it's true. i've only recently realized this. unless you submit to him and let him control you, he wont keep you around since he does view you as a threat. it's extremely sad since im only 32 and he's around 34 but i've come to terms with the fact he and i will never have a loving brotherly relationship.
I am in therapy
Keep going there. I do the same.
It doesn't quite seem fair, we who have narcissistic siblings have to work so hard to overcome all the insults, criticisms, pompousness etc when they're just flaunting their entitlement and most times aren't even aware they are doing it. I just spent Christmas with my older narc sister and I found myself staring at the clock after about an hour. I was waiting for her to leave! I did feel pity for her this time though. Although it's not really love, it is at least some kind of feeling whereas usually I am just indifferent because I know what's coming. Also, I have decided that I am glad that I'm different from her. I'm glad to be an empathic, authentic person. I hope she seeks some therapy.
Sounds like we have the same life!😂
Narcs typically don't seek therapy unless they want a "yes" man who will prop up her false beliefs, or she will want to battle it out with you so that she can to dominate and crush you via her therapist.
My sister has been doing this now since we were young. It was awful. My dad favor her as did my siblings. She had them calling me horrible names. And my dad abused me. So it was very lonely. It followed into adulthood. I tried to fit in BUT she never let it happen. I knew it felt like something was off. But no one ever said anything. Now I see how it works. Its the disfunction. And her controlling. And how my father allowed it. When my father passed away. It got bad. My sister went after my mom. And begin to slowly move in our our relationship.. our church relationship. And my mom didn't stop her. My mom would begin lying to me often when they do things together. And make up reason why they were leaving me out. And I was being sensitive and I should let it go. Blah blah blah. I the lies got so bad especially when my brother passed away. They did awful things to me. And my sister got my mom to play in on lies. I had to talk steps away. I can't believe how much they were willing to lie to hurt me. And my sister never said sorry. I have went no contact. With them all. I can't continue to feel like I am a part of a family who feels it's ok to lie and mislead and you to not have the right for healthy truth and resolve. I pray for her. But i choose now to FOLLOW GOD and his Truth. And I will not continue let them hurt me.
This explains my mom and sister. Sigh.
Same here
My mom man is driving me crazy !!
The day my mother died my half sister (we have different mothers) asked if I was going to work the next day. I thought that was a disrespectful question. I have looked at her differently ever since.
They have zero empathy towards me, those siblings are not it that's just because they are spoiled af
Wow. This is totally my sister.
When you realize you have healed and only way to save your own sanity is distance
Oh my God....everything applies to my sister!! She shows empathy to my other sister and my nieces!! But completely zero empathy or kindness to me.
I went no contact for 3 years before my narc sister killed herself. After her death I received an 8 page letter from her blaming me for everything that happened to her and said the reason she killed herself because I abandoned her. Sending me this letter was her last power move to hurt me knowing I would have no recourse. She was the rebel and I was the "good girl". She always said mom and dad loved me more. I said no they don't. I was just easier to love. It is a sad realization that I NEVER loved her. When I see sisters who are close and love each other it is foreign to me. She always made me feel like a bug on a pin and she would periodically pick a wing off. She was 3 years older than me. But she professed publicly that she loved her little sister.😢
Even if your sister was all sorts of horrible things….is there absolutely no feeling from you for her? I am sad that she felt unloved, that she felt abandoned (even if maybe you were perfectly right to do so) and I am sad that she got to the loneliest point in the world, where she killed herself.
I am soo sorry you had to go through that. Yes, it was a last ditch effort to hurt you. Please don't take it personal or serious. They will avoid accountability at ALL cost. Her problems in life were all her own. Not yours or anyone else's.
Oh my God this is so sad instantly my eyes started watering I feel so bad. I’m so sorry you had to go through that that is so tragic. I went no contact with my sister recently and sometimes I wonder if she would do that to herself
The last time I spoke to mine she said I’ll always be OK as long as I have you in my life and I was so touched by that but now I realize it was manipulative she knows that I’m distant because of her ways. May you find peace and true love❤
Don’t listen to the person in the comments they don’t understand
My sister is 7 years older than me and she told me that when I was little she would be mean to me to make me cry and then be nice so I would hug her because I was so cute but that is actually still our dynamic. She loves to be the hero but she also loves to control and sabotage. Every one else just sees the hero though.
I have 6 older sister's and at least 3 of them are narcs.
gosh i couldn’t imagine.. i only have one and its hell, wishing you the best
I am very sorry, that you had to deal with this family...
That sounds like a nightmare sorry
I have two
@@birriabrain same here
Another comment.Thank you for the correct description of that type of person..🙏
I disowned my older sister. She emotionally abused me to the point she added to my depression. It was hard af to do...but I had enough. She's a sister in name only. idc that she now has Lymphoma, the non-hodgkins variety.
Totally 💯
My sister was acting so childish since I was a little kid and I didn’t like how she was acting towards me when that happened because she has Histronic Personally Disorder or ODD, or possibly PMDD Or DMDD and that’s why she’s acting like that.
I have 3 sisters like that
I am very sorry. This sounds horrible.
my youngest sister accused the middle sister of SA. total and utter BS after years and decades of home cooked meals, hospitality, gifts, taking her in when she was homeless.. the more we gave to her the less she respected us. the day she made that accusation however, was the last day either of us talked to her. over 3 years now and life is so much better. totally backfired on her. i know it still bothers my sister that was wrongfully accused but we now know exactly who youngest sister is and that is a toxic monster.
My narcisister accused my dad of SA about 30 years ago, after my dad was dead and could not defend himself. It was during the heyday of the "repressed memory craze" in the 1990s, and it completely tore the family apart. My poor mother suffered the most.
My sister has to have the best in everything. Biggest house, and best cars. She says she works hard to she deserves the best. And can’t emphasize with someone that does not have her status as well. She says they can’t get their life together or just lazy.
You wouldn’t believe the damage my narcissistic sister, helped along with our narcissistic mother have done in our family, even dragged my youngest sister to believe their lies to the point where our adoptive only child has left our lives (wife and myself) to be with another big family at 17, as wife’s parents have passed on, she’s on a mental breakdown, I hate narcissistic people, there should be a criminal prosecution for this abuse
mine is two peas in a pod with the narcissistic egg donor
My sister invited me to thanksgiving this year to city hall with 75 people her boyfriend and my mom that has done literal horror beyond horror that has also broken me. My sister doesn’t give a flying fuck about what I’m actually going thru. I am hurting and have been for years but she is so focused in on her relationship that he neglects me, and today I said why would you have me come and expect me to catch a ride with mom? I didn’t expect that. She has not apologized to me and I hate her to be frank she is awful 🫣😭 anyways my sis said she doesn’t care that I am grieving two dead cats and no one but me takes accountability for anything. I thought it would be okay to catch a ride with my sis and she might be okay with taking me home but she said nah it’s too much out of the way. 15 minutes.. I have picked her up many times drunk, came to the rescue etc and she blatantly refused/ignored/ walked away from me after I said: I don’t get it.. I would do it for you.. it’s one thing. I’m brought to tears becuz it’s just simply too much to deal with for one person.
My sister (Jeannie) is a Narcissus . I feel sorry for her, she doesn't see herself in a true light. Always angry at someone.
Yep. All of these traits exist in my relationship with my sister. I've worked hard to know myself so I can deal with this type of behavior more effectively. Unfortunately, it's best to grey-wall people who carry traits defined in this post.
After 3 years of no contact, she reached out, said she wouldn’t bring up past junk anymore, wanted to move forward and rekindle the relationship. I very hesitantly and slowly let her back in. She even starting reestablishing a relationship with my two adult daughters. And in true form, after only a few weeks, she got mad when things didn’t go her way, sent a mean text to my daughter and we haven’t seen her since (about 2 months now). She blames me for everything always.
Please send the free help guide. I need it. 😵💫
My father was a narcissist and my sister always accused him of being one. At the time I had no idea what a narcissist was. I thought she was just name calling. However, I now realize that she’s a narcissist too! Guess it takes one to know one.
Looking back I have so many examples of her deception, lies, smears, lack of care, etc. I’m the oldest and I think she has always been jealous. Why, I don’t know.
Of late, our narcissist father died at age 91 years. You’d think the family would come together. Nope. She and the Golden Child formed an alliance against me, the scapegoat. The siblings all seemed to embrace their narcissistic family role following our Dad’s passing. My narcissist sister turned everyone against me with her lies and smears, with help from the Golden Child.
It’s like our narcissist father kept everyone on their good behavior. After he died the family turned on me, the oldest. It was strange that weeks before our father died, the Gold Child asked me “Who’s going to take Dad’s place after he’s gone?” I thought this was odd since our dad was in ok health. I realize now that this question was “Who are we going to resent and hate after Dad’s gone?” The scapegoat (me) was their obvious choice.
It’ll be 3 years in January 2024 of no contact. Well, except I send them ALL (even the nieces and nephews) Christmas cards. Just to wish them well and let them know we’re still alive (ages 84 and 72.)
Surprising a narc will recognize one. Because their identity would be too fragile to admit they are related to one. My sisters care so much about their image.
Right now my mother is dying of cancer. My sisters have accused me of not caring. Even though I was there. They blow up some thing I did wrong, while downplaying or ignoring things I do right. It's more like I'm a second class citizen in my family.
This is so like my sister She is really poisonous When l ran from my violent ex husband with three small children she went to court on his behalf as did my mother saying there was nothing wrong with him and he should have custody of the children I felt utterly betrayed I have barely spoken to her since She contacts me when dhe needs someone to look after her dogs or something else The answer is always no
Ma’am she is evil. Don’t ever reconnect. She could have cost you your children Bad seed psychopath
My sister has selective empathy.
When my mother developed dementia, my younger sister took over. Nothing I did was ever good enough, and everything I had done for my mother previously was erased.
My sister is a white knight - she wanted to be the "sole carer" to maximise her image of a perfect daughter, so she pushed me out. She even works in the health care industry and gets extra "supply" from her job. I have no contact with either of my sisters - I've suffered far too much from narcissists, they've bled me dry.
One my sister had on my new pair of shorts even though she was larger than me. I told her to take them off before she stretched them. She actually told me that I had given them to her. She found out very quickly that was the wrong thing to say to me. I took them off her myself. She didn't learn to leave my stuff alone but I did enjoy taking them back. I looked at her friend who also had my clothes on and asked her was she going to take them off and give them back or was I going to have to do it? She very quickly gave them to me. Sometimes it can just build up until it's too much.
Thank you so much..🙏
This is a reason. Your siblings had to compete for your parent’s attention. You didn’t so they’ve always felt cheated. This is why they try to take advantage when your parents die, try to pirate your friends or triangulate your kids. They scapegoat you rather than understand all parents make mistakes and all are flawed. We all are Let them go. They forfeited the right to be in your life
normally they put for example your mother under emotional pressure to get you under control.
She does the classic bait and switch, loud, aggressive, and triangulates with my brothers like there’s something wrong with me since I don’t want to spend time with them. And she also brags about attracting different men
All my sisters are narcissists and bad-mouth me to others routinely and make themselves out to be the victim of my lies. Everyone that knows me, say I'm too honest (what's too honest?) I'm the only one of four girls that has children.
My grandson it's so sad.
It catches up with them!! Yes betrayal
Narcissister
My sister is that one.
I don't know why I even call her.
She's been abusive and selfish since we were younger.
I am like a rusty knife from the abuse by a violent home and my father.
It's very sickening.
I'm 61 she is 65.
I really just don't care about her anymore.
I've learned that my feelings are ok.
I'm just done with all the bullshit people want to bestow. 🎉😂
Love and peace to you ❤
All I ever wanted was for her to approve of me, love me, and want to be near me. I didn't understand... she was never going to let that happen. I didn't realize that she despised me since the moment I was born, and is jealous of me, and sees me as an object. But no matter how self deprecating I became, she didn't approve of me and she treats me like I'm I am an attention-seeking, arrogant b!tch. It doesn't matter how humble or kind I attempt to be, she always insults me and treats me like I'm an arrogant jerk for having a conversation with one of our friends.
I didn't realize she only shows me affection when I am catatonically depressed, and then it feels like she's patting me on the head and congratulating me for being quiet and sad. When I gained some weight she seemed to be nicer to me, she acted less jealously towards me, but as soon as I lost weight she hated me again. She would love for me to be extremely unhealthy and depressed.
So I'm going to be happy. I'm going to live my life. I'm going to trust people again some day. I don't need or want her approval anymore. I don't want to be near her anymore. I will always love my sister, but she's a sociopath and it hurts to be near her. All she does is hurt me.
After reading all the comments, I just want to point out that what happens in childhood isn’t always narcissistic behavior. It’s siblings being siblings and unfortunately not having great parenting to work things out. I don’t blame my sister for things she called me or did to me as kids (I’m sure I was ugly too). It’s when we are adults and still acting like children that you can see the toxic traits including narcissism. I never think it’s fair to use our childhood drama as weapons. We were children and clearly we needed some good parenting (we latchkey kids were on our own a lot! Lol) but if the behavior continues to adulthood when they know better and don’t do better, that’s when the relationship has to be dealt with. My narcissist sister is 50 and still is pulling the same junk and it’s gotten worse as she’s become older. Anyway, just my two cents. Don’t bring up the fight at age 10. But what’s happening now is what’s important. Does that resonate with anyone?
Horrible treatment. But it catches up with them.
This separates family
Mother fathers brothers sisters relatives.
Cain Nd abel joseph and his brothersits real its hurtful protect yourself and ket those creeps dp what they do wherever they at
I have six sisters. Let's see...
I havE and she's even the youngest.
She can influence all sibLiNgs and reLarivEs
Front ticEticE soo differents
Wrong.my sister loves herself and she make issue of everything.she take care of her diet n she believes that i am below her standard
Their evil been watching you for a long time. Sickening. No empathy back stabbers
I can relate
Does my sister sleeping with my husband count?
On the dot 😢
How to combAT
you tube has useful free videos with advice about narcisstic family members, dont need to pay for a book
💯
YYYYY .Yabsuttly
🎭
This is AI, people!! Wake up!!
Are you saying that AI is narcissistic?
The Narrator is AI
Even if the content and voice are AI generated, it doesn't mean the content is not true. BTW, I hate AI voices and content also.
Nonseseseseseses EvEr, soo WELCOME camingcaming WELDOOOOOOWN EvEr Oncourseee Oncourseee, EsEartiesflower young happiness
Horrible treatment. But it catches up with them.
This separates family
Mother fathers brothers sisters relatives.