That Video Games Show I haven't even watched the movie and I wish I can disappear like Luke I'm one more bad movie away from walking away from this franchise so glad I saved my money for Darkest Hour
I cried when Luke died. My husband was like “wtf” at me. I was crying not because Luke died but because Disney murdered his storyline. All these years, waiting, anticipating and hoping that I’ll live to see Luke in cinema. He is my hero, I never needed a female character to show me that I can be a mofo Jedi. And then I finally see Luke and HE DOESNT EVEN SHOW UP FOR A FIGHT. A MAN WHO FACED THE EMPEROR TO SAVE HIS FATHER ALL ALONE. THIS MAN WAS ON THE VERGE OF KILLING HIS OWN NEPHEW???? God.... And I totally agree about politics and females in the movies. Such a disgrace. This movie was so bad I need to film my own rant but I’ll pretty much echo what you said.
Sloth only reason I say it a second time; to remember my childhood hero, the one who was flawed but always saw the positive. To see him like that, did hurt. Let the past go, Kill it if you have too...May 2018 will be another awakening for Lucasfilm/ Disney.
My wife, who grew up idolizing young Luke, had pretty much the same reaction as you. Get her started on what they did to Luke and she'll still start yelling.
The DORUK there is one thing I'm generally impressed with admittedly I haven't seen this movie but it seems like they made a movie even worse than the force awakens didn't think such a feat was possible
Anthony Jordan movies and more work When I saw TFA I thought "hmm that was okay, certainly something to build on", I was expecting the follow up to be the next Empire Strikes Back. I never expected this travesty.
I totally agree with you about Luke. I’ve been waiting since Return of the Jedi to see Luke unleash his “full force abilities”. Totally disappointed. What a complete waste of an amazing character.
Jim Jones I couldn’t agree more, they made count dooku in his older age whoop some ass, luke could’ve been all that and more, how they didn’t know this is beyond me, an example is the end, if he’s going to die anyway, why not have him actually BE there and go out in a blaze of glory. And Luke wouldn’t want to see his sister in the flesh? When he knows she and the rebels need his help desperately? I could go on for hours, it’s sad, I never thought in my wildest dreams I would hate a Star Wars movie but here we are...
There was zero emotional impact when Luke vanished like a fart in the wind, since they didn’t make it %100 clear at that moment that he was dying. I thought “so is he dead or what’s actually going on?”. It was only clarified by a statement a few scenes later, by which time any potential emotional impact of Luke’s death had passed.
burntvirtue I’ve only seen it once, but Luke’s apparent death is mentioned by some character later. Something that loosely translates to “he’s in a better place” or something?
Disney paid the critics, everybody knows the movie are trash, but it still got 93% on RT. Plus how the hell did critics said its on par with empire strikes back. Its all seems fishy
ario rangga you nailed, man. It's not difficult for an evil mafia like Disney to bribe whoever they want! Specially the loser critics of Rotten Tomatoes.
This movie was feminist, post-modernist propaganda. If I had to sit there and watch them jump cut between old women giving monologues about "The Resistance"/"resisting" and an orange-haired Hux, any longer than the run time of that abomination--so help me. I was literally waiting for one of them to say "I'm with Her," when referring to Carrie. I came in with my expectations low and was still disappointed.
Well she's a girl so she must be perfect while all the male characters must be stupid idiots by default because it's not about genders, you know. You sexist lol
Buddy, I wish everyone had the balls to say what you just did. This was so spot on and I thank you for articulating it so perfectly. I wish all of Hollywood would watch this rant.
My view is that anything produced in the name of Star Wars without George Lucas's involvement is simply fan fiction on a big budget. Shakespeareans wouldn't accept some random people continuing a classic like Romeo and Juliet so why should fans of the originals and prequels accept these new stories as part of the story? It gives me peace of mind when watching the new movies but even when looking at it from the perspective that is is a fan fiction movie, it doesn't make the movie anymore enjoyable. I hope it does for you by adopting this perspective. Don't let some fan-fiction ruin your love for Star Wars 1-6.
Good, stop supporting the franchise and turn the entire base against them. Troll and talk shit and burn it to the floor. That's the only way to teach them a lesson.. to hurt them in the pockets.. otherwise expect the same for every other franchise you love.
Snoke's death is complete bullshit. He is clearly capable of manipulating Kylo's mind, and can see his every intent (Snoke even says this), but somehow this unbelievably powerful being, more powerful than Vader and Palpatine, despite his almost omniscient powers, doesn't see the manipulation of a lightsabre RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. Bullshit.
Anders Møker he was able to force throw Hux from across the galaxy! Yet a Douche in a mask somehow tricked him? The same Douche he just used force lightning to throw across the room earlier in the movie. It's like the writer wrote everything with one night of redbull and forgot everything afterwards by sleeping for 3 days then proceeded without any proofreading.
He was comically Mary Snoked (overpowered) in this one, so it made me not care about him as a character, not to mention him being irate, which isn't cool to watch. And after all that Palpatine X Yoda squared power, he was beaten like a packet of wheetbix. Expectations subverted, yes. So how do I get my refund?
Such a disservice to Luke's character. He evolved into a chump, coward. Complete opposite of a lionhearted warrior we knew. I thought Master Luke Skywalker after so much adversity/challenges he has faced that he would have gone to exile for a sort of revival from such tragedy. Stays in Actoo to meditate at the old Jedi Temple, make peace with himself and no self guilt and counsel with Master Yoda/Kenobi. Gather his thoughts and plan a solution
I totally agree. We were lucky to see his progression from whiney farm-boy to Jedi Master. And now? He's just fucked off and done fuck all for the best part of 40 years, deserted everyone, and fucks up with Kylo in a ridiculous way. Luke was never like that when he matured. And now he's DEAD! We will never be treated to a serious Luke battle now. Even Obi Wan in the original in 1 minute of flitting sabres with vader was more awesome than both of these abominations combined.
It’s really a disaster to Luke’s character. Not only that Rey is more powerful than Luke and Kylo Ren with zero training plus we don’t even know where her family nor history towards her combat training.
i agree 100% - i thought TFA sucked, but this takes it down another level in crap. Luke Skywalker was my childhood hero, he should have came in and kicked butt in TFA, but no we had to wait for TLJ for him to kick butt, and they nurtured him. its just a complete and colossal disaster
Yup. For many people Lance Armstrong was also a childhood hero, but he turned out to be a fucking fraud with a needle in his veins. Truth is, good stories with a basis in actual reality and rationality tend to hit too close to home ;)
"If Benicio del Toro's character knew how to escape from prison... ...what was he still doing there?" - someone with no education higher than a Grade 12 Certificate.
I watched it with my wife on Disney plus the other day for shits n gigs, to talk shit about it, haven't watched it since theaters... I said to my wife "why the fuck is he sleeping there, or still doing there if he can escape??? Nothing makes sense in that film... devastating treatment of legendary film hero Luke Skywalker, it's a travesty.
My friends and I think Phantom Menace is a better movie than TLJ! My friends were huge prequel haters (more than me), so that definitely says something about how shitty this movie is!
I appreciate guys like you putting out honest reviews like this. I got taken in by TFA, but this time around, thanks to reviews such as yours, Disney won't be getting a dime from me for this horseshit. Even Mark Hamill is pissed by what they did to his character.
Well said. Ben Kenobi went out like a true JEDI. Really feel sorry for Mark Hamill since he disagreed with Rian Johnson regarding the portrayal of Luke.
Does anyone want to see my reaction to Rogue One? I completely ignored that movie when I saw Disney's weird SJW ideology in its trailers, but I'm willing to see it and suffer for your schadenfreude if you're interested.
A lot of people said that. Even Ben Shapiro liked it and he is crazy anti SJW. I saw the Vader scene which was amazing (on RUclips). I'll check it out then. Thanks for the info.
Everything about the movie was lazy and way over thought to try and trick the audience and make $. Instead of just thinking of a great story to create.
yeah, they were really trying hard to swerve fans. Lucas did this too with the prequels, but it was even worse here. from the last jedi we get the impression the suits at disney are now embarrassed they ever made the force awakens and wants to bury it. great, after it made you over 2 billion I guess that was stupid... imagine if Lucas had did this...if he spent over half of Attack of the Clones burying the plot and characters of Episode I. maybe some fans would have loved that but here it comes across as really petty and annoying.
Well said Justin the folks over at podcast now escalated further and called it Star Wars Gotcha! Everything had to be ruined by the I bet you didn't see that coming. TFA set up promises and that TLJ didn't bother with just because. But like all ex's they're making fans think its their fault and fake news.
Great job - my young adult son asked me during the movie if this was supposed to be fan fiction. Then he said it looked like bad fan fiction. I knew it would be lousy, didn't plan to go, but accompanied my son when his dad was too ill to go. I was grateful to have watched multiple youtube spoiler videos. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if I had gone into this movie cold. If they wanted to start with new characters, then they should have left the originals OUT of the movies in the first place rather than destroy them on film!
Oh, stop with the Mary Sue BS. Poe can dance all across the galaxy in a fighter taking down starships by himself while quipping away, but you hear nothing about it. If it was some dude you could relate to there would be no problem. Just drop it already.
"Rey beats Kylo Ren without any training" Because women are far more stronger than men, don't you know? They don't need training That's what feminists tell us
A force user strong enough to bridge a connection across the galaxy so real that physical attributes are transferred between this link (Kylo’s wet hand) or be able to force manipulate Hux without even being in the same room? And this power is introduced and unexplained and thrown away in less than an hour? And this character can’t sense a manipulated lightsaber right fucking beside him?
What bothered me is that she was totally willing to go to the dark side of the force,until she felt like she couldn't get what she wanted from it. That totally ruined whatever high ground they tried to give her in the choosing the light side of the force
Ricardo Silva she was tempted, she full on delved into it, Yoda told Luke to go in to face his Darkside, but she happily went into the darkness in general, until the plot decides she's only lightside.
They turn a man who would rather die, than kill an evil but redeemable Vader. To a man who would contemplate the murder of his nephew for thought crime, to the point of having a drawn blade over a sleeping child.
The lady (Kathleen Kennedy) who took over everything after George Lucus cashed out is responsible for this shit.... The whole fucking new trilogy was positioned as a girl power story arch ending with Leia and Rey taking out Kylo Ren. While vintage Star Wars was all about masculinity and good humor, the new films are about emasculation and girl power and this misplaced bad skit humor that seems borrowed from a Marvel film... Look at the Star of Rogue One! God only knows what they are doing to Han Solo in this upcoming young Han Solo film.
This was the worst film I've seen this year. If this movie would have been directed by Zack Snyder and produced by WB, the critics would have crucified them.
I hated the Prequels but I hate TLJ even more. I grew up on the originals and TLJ was no Star Wars move. I am all for Women's rights but they over did it with all the female lead roles. I mean it is great to see women in power and I am all for it, but it is way overdone in this one. It was a Saturday morning cartoon. It wasn't dark or mysterious like the originals. No explanation for a lot of stuff. Fans, you can save your money and the way things went it is like there is no reason to make a 9th Star Wars. Whatever it's going to be, Star Wars ended in TLJ with the death of Luke. the future of Star Wars will be nothing like the past.
You were wrong about Luke in the originals. He wasnt ready to fight Vader after 3 weeks in the swamp. He actually lost to Vader. This is nothing like Mary Sue Rey. He struggled all the way through the series until way at the end, and even then, that was as much him turning Vaders heart as his skill.
waltermh111 I agree... Luke had such an incredible character development - training, loosing and having to be rescued to helping and redeeming- ending in becoming a Jedi knight. One thing many have to remember is he is the son of the chosen one. Whom is (according to George himself) the strongest Jedi - becoming what his father was meant to be
My view is that anything produced in the name of Star Wars without George Lucas's involvement is simply fan fiction on a big budget. Shakespeareans wouldn't accept some random people continuing a classic like Romeo and Juliet so why should fans of the originals and prequels accept these new stories as part of the story? It gives me peace of mind when watching the new movies but even when looking at it from the perspective that is is a fan fiction movie, it doesn't make the movie anymore enjoyable.
Cookie Monster it's a great point about Shakespeare. Because there is only one George Lucas, and only one Shakespeare. Prequels aside, and theories about Shakespeare's works' origins aside, you simply cannot recreate and manufacture lightning in a bottle. That's like saying, Michael Jackson is dead, let's find a new one. Or a new James Brown. Or a new biggie smalls. You just can't.
I thought this soon after watching TFA and a lot of people on reddit said I was being ridiculous. Well I'm sure the people that despised this movie will be glad to look at it from this perspective now! It saves me a lot of heartache at least and hope it does for you. Unfortunately a lot of people who hate it still count it as the Star Wars story and so will future generations. In that respect the legacy is slightly ruined, although I hope the legacy in the future is that George knew best!
Wow, you have no fucking clue what you're talking about. For one, the EU was not the least bit supervised, not even by Lucas. Thats why it contraticts itself on all ends. But of course that was no fan fiction, now was it? And bringing up Shakespeare: You are aware that Shakespeare had his own workshop with people working for him, right? We don't know how much of is work was actually done by him personally. He was pretty much the Disney of his time.
Cookie Monster can we include rogue one as canon? I think it holds up especially the rebels vs empire side, unlike this new trilogy it showed depth on both sides, AND had kick ass awesome space and ground battles that felt very star wars, with actual tactics and thought put into them, no slow ass giant bombers that get shot down immidiately and had gravity dependent payloads
@Johny Massacre Look at what I tweeted to Jett Lucas regarding my perspective ! He RT me! I was joking really about the bit at the end but maybe he will tell the man himself!"@mrjettlucas TLJ shows how good George Lucas's movie are.IMO anything produced in the name of SW without his involvement is simply fan fiction on a big budget. Shakespeareans wouldn't accept some random people continuing a classic so why should we?Let him know this thanks"
I can imagine a Disney roundtable going something like this... "Let's have Ackbar fly the cruiser into Snoke's ship, sacrificing himself to buy time for the others to escape. It would be a fantastic and noble close to a long and distinguished career and service against the Empire/First Order." "No. Ackbar has a penis. Let's have a brand new, female character who nobody knows, with only 8 minutes of screen time (all of which is berating, belittling and emasculating the last strong, non-whiny male in the franchise) do it instead." "Good idea. Go with the second one... And make sure Skywalker's character and complete backstory is destroyed before we off him for no purpose other than we can't have a male character stronger than the female lead. He has to go." The castration of Star Wars, Disney style. Yep. A fan of 40 years, I will never have anything to do with Star Wars again.
Agreed. I was a huge fan of the OT but didn't get on board with the prequels. These new Disney movies have felt like an annual slog that's mildly entertaining, and I did enjoy some elements of TFA and R1. And I could even forget the SJW elements of TLJ if there was a compelling story to back it up, but it's completely devoid of any interesting characters. The only person who truly had a story arc at all was Luke. I'm sure I will see the new movies when they come out, but I'm really just over Star Wars at this point and could care less what happens to Rey, Finn, Rose, Poe or any other members of the rainbow gang.
'The First Order is all white males.' Preach brother! Rose's character was awful. That's how you know she was a political statement more than a character. Her dialogue was cringey and heavy-handed, and poorly delivered.
Maybe the First order is all white males, because the first order, just like the empire, is a racist, surpressive dictatorship? This is like saying "And of course all the Nazis in Saving Private Ryan where Germans. Typical American Racism!"
rascalMatt17 The Empire was racist, both in the expanded universe as well as in the new canon. The empire was purely white male in the OT too, while the rebels where diverse as fuck. So I guess SJWs where already active in the seventies. Luke was about to join an emperial acedemy in ANH, by the way. So him being a rebel was kinda unlikely, since he wasn't a surpressed class. The second sentence was sarcasm, you fucking idiot.
Disney is controlled by Feminist Natzi's, so is their wonder this movie sucked? A perfect example of this is when they had the Ship Admiral (the blue headed project crazy beach) take control of the fleet and bascially gets everyone killed because she only wanted cucked men and women on her side. In the end she became "the hero" by killing herself and getting most of the ships blown away, WTF? I thought Lukes"homeless guy" character was a complete basket case, and scene after scene he is turning his back and running away like a coward. While the young female character seemed to carry his sabre in her purse (another cucked man cock refrence). This is not the Luke Skywalker I remembered from a new hope. I give this movie a C- at best, because it smells of NWO MIND CONTROL that we all need to get along bullshit, for the purpose of herding us all together like sheeps to the slaughter. By making the movie with a palette for a world wide diverse auidence, Disney Star Wars sales have gone up 6 times, and the last 2 movies made close to $4 Billion. So it seems like Disney has forsaken quality, for greed!!
couldnt listen to all this review, cause its depressing, hes right tho but so disapointed of this lazy movie fuck!! i think im not even a star wars fan anymore movie was STUPID AS FUCK AND A INSULT TO STAR WARS, EVEN THE PREQUELS WERE BETTER THAN THAT (except the cheezy love story of anakin that was wack as fuck)
Men and woman are physically, and psychologically different from one another.. this is a fact, it is also the natural order. This is not something one should shun, but embrace. It is this very dynamic that makes the interaction between the two sexes compelling and extrodanary to watch. We both have a reason for being that is finite, yet equally essential in necessity of the existence in which we live.
Do not trust some of the reviewers out there cause they've fanboying over it, just wait till they take there nerd glasses off and wake up. I hear some reviewers saying they need to watch it twice to give it a score wtf really. Rey is such a wasted character pretty much a NOBODY that Luke trained, saved and die for. She is not related by Luke, Leia or Han, snoke is a NOBODY they've been building up but died quickly without explaining who the fuck this guy is. Everything in this movie is a wasted opportunity, no set up for the next movie(ending scene was just utter BS) no major villain cause kylo ren is not a major. Nobody was developed and explained in this movie phasma or snoke just wasted fucking nostalgia.
Mc Knight thanks for adding that. I didn't mention that. And you're right. Who the fuck was snoke!? We don't give a shit about him because well we don't know anything about him. Crazy.
I saw it yesterday (Saturday) with my mom, wife and kids. Walked out of there depressed. Going to see it again with my friends on Tuesday and I don’t even want to go. Unbelievable. What they did to the character Luke Skywalker was criminal.
Shawn Derrick Max Von Sydow! When I saw him in the last one I was like, "Yes!" because Sydow is and always was awesome. But what did they do to him? Kill him in two minutes. Why bother? What a waste of talent.
Star Wars 9: Rey finds out Han and Leia are her parents. Rey kills her brother Kylo. Rey and Po fall in love and pilot the Millenium Falcon together. Finn and Rose fall in love. Peace is restored and the torch is passed on to the kids on casino island. There I saved you 2 years.
If women were strong enough to stand on their own "they" wouldn't feel the need to make them constantly invincible- you have it backwards, it's an agenda. Anyway the movie was crap and with Disney at the helm it's only going to get worse. Until someone reboots the whole thing from just after Return of the Jedi it's basically over for Star Wars fans.
The people who planed this trilogy were like: "What is the one and only extremely hugely important thing EVERY SINGLE Star Wars fan, has been waiting 35 years for, and is dying to see in this trilogy? Well of course it is Luke using the Force and fighting!" And then they thought: "Let’s NOT do that and piss them off!, Yay!"
The best thing you do is to stay the fuck home for the next movie. They killed off everyone anybody gave a shit about. Rey is powerful because estrogen? How empty.
She's a maREY sue! Rian could have at least tried to give her a backstory, but nope instead, he was too busy making Luke an attempted child murderer and later killed him for shits and giggles!
For the Vietnamese girl, you know she is a diversity hire because her sister was also supposedly some heroic gunner that fought to the end on the aircraft of some famous character in the movie. It is stupid how they try to make women not women as if that will ever change reality. It isnt that women cant be heroic, it is that it is rare because they have the babies, which gives them certain biological traits. But they pour it on so thick here that it becomes a turn off, it ruins the suspension of disbelief.
pied a' terre: I think Kennedy and Disney think that if they just cram a bunch of random women in they can start selling more toys to girls. I think that’s literally the only goal. That’s why the ladies are 2D or have inexplicable powers.
pied a' terre. They did a great job with Rogue One except with some useless characters but really delivered on the action 3rd act. They have gone in opposite direction since TFA
This has been the most honest review yet. Agree with EVERY word. What this movie has done for George Lucas, is elevate to a supreme degree his prequels. I personally, liked his prequels. They had depth. And sometimes depth must be told slower and perhaps feel less exciting at times. But I think true Star Wars fans who did not like the prequels, will embrace them more than ever, after watching this mess of a movie. Poe, Rae, and Fynn are weak characters. They can in no way replace what was lost on Star Wars. I will follow the Rogue sequels, but I think my days with Star Wars, ended with the death of the Evil Emperor.
The death of snoke was as anticlimatic as it was stupid. Why did snoke even make it into this movie. We have no idea who or what he was and never will. No depth at all! Snoke literally is in kylo's mind seeing what he's gonna do but not really cuz kylo kills him in the exact way he should be ready for. How is this force weakling (snoke) in charge of anything? Just another shallowly written part of the movie which is based on pushing swallow bullshit. This movie is a Disney movie not a Star Wars movie.
Snoke is the Darth Maul of TLJ. At least Darth Maul was never ment to be intrinsic to the plot of TPM. He was just a cool looking character that moved the plot along to focus on Obi and Anakin's relationship. Where's Snoke imo, was built up to be the new Sith Lord / Emperor. If you like this film then I can only say you have no understanding of not only what Star Wars is, but also what a good film should consist of. It ain't any of this shit.
The rift on the left is bloody maddening that it has fallen to such a petty conflict over gender and for the most part, things people can't change about themselves.
I also found it infuriating how the film tried to almost constantly provide (poorly attempted) humour at points when it should have been a serious moment. It completely mocks what Star Wars was originally about; serious, warfare and gritty. And I thought the exact same thing about the purple haired woman. Her only purpose was to make Poe look dumb and clumsy whilst showing women as strong leaders. He could have developed as a character after TFA but he didn't at all and overall there were too many characters that I don't care about. Suddenly Lea is able to fly through space like superwoman SMH!
Cookie Monster I can't believe I forgot to mention Leia. I did intend to, but my brain is rubbish, so I forgot! I thought at that point some Jedi master, Luke, was using force powers to transport her in. What the hell? Also I 100% agree with you, and your vocabulary, about serious warfare and grittiness. The battle between Luke and Darth Vader in ESB is exactly that, bloody and real and raw. In the last Jedi, there is only one blood scene, and I'm pretty sure that was just the blood quota for the film rating. The jokes in this diffuse the seriousness. The original Star Wars had the perfect balance between seriousness, and comedy. The dynamics and peaks and troughs were correct. Unlike TLJ. You nailed it.
Regarding Lea, yes, Disney have turned the force into Disney magic! No training or guidance required and do as you like for any character or plot. I thought the same thing after the lightsaber fight in TFA when she beat Ren, a trained sith who was capable of destroying the jedi temple! But this movie took it to the next level of ridiculousness! I read your comments below about being fooled into watching another Disney star wars movie again. Unfortunately I did too even after reading that the film was so bad! I don't know what came over me! I thought 'oh well it will be a good ride with good action scenes in imax and it's fan-fiction anyway'. I found out of course that without a decent plot the action scenes are pretty dull and pointless. My money is staying in my pocket for future star wars movies because this storyline can't be redeemed. I hope this movie puts a lot of people off watching the Solo movie in May and hurts them financially but people will make our mistake again, no doubt!
Kylo ren is the least scary sith ever. I'd only be scared if I got his order wrong at Starbucks. He's supposed to be this badass sith but he sucks at fighting and gets beat by Rey and then has to be saved by her. Like wtf and now he's the most powerful sith???
"I dont give a f#k about cgi if the story isnt good" exactly. Laura Dern sucked completely. Remember Keira Knightly in Pirates of the Caribbean killing large men with a sword that she probably couldnt lift in real life? I dont get why these things are put in movies. Its not feminist its delusional. Leia was fun to watch as a kick ass general but the last scene with Leia and the Laura Dern character was just like 2 old ladies comforting each other totally unbelievable that they would be the powerhouse of world rebellion.
I cried after watching it twice because it was a complete and utter disappointment! Got scammed by Disney because I'm a huge SW fangirl ever since I was 4.
Classic line: I have a bad feeling about this. Which describes how I felt at the start of watching this. By the way another legacy that died in this Movie. Not that anyone now gives a rats ass.
Yeah I wanted to, but I forgot! That is more hypocritical SJW bullshit, because capitalism is the reason why Disney exists! And selling weapons to arms dealers is bad? Walt Disney was in the fucking military!
ah the classic "poorvsevil" isnt that the bullshit strawman that was used to justify AAAAALLL mass genocide of past century? XD that only shows that pushing (genocidal and failture)agendas is more important than profit to this companies....what? oh you dont beleive? just check marvel in comics! getting their sells fucked after so much sjw and "ist" acusations bs... It make we wonder.... what the fuck this guys are planing?...and also make us realize the crazy neighbour of up front, building a bunker in his backyard because "society colapse blablabla", isnt THAAAAAT crazy.
Only think I don't agree with you on is Luke bring good enough to fight Vader after three weeks of training. He really was not. That is why he could not stop the objects Vader was force throwing at Luke, and he got his hand cut off, lol so he was not ready nor good enough. Rey is complete BS. The character is not BELIEVABLE.
moviefan LYV: they told us to bid farewell to all 3 of them. I started mourning Luke Leia and Han as soon as I saw them in TFA. I wish they hadn’t even brought them back. Honestly.
yes you are right , i do know how JJ Abrahms will have IX Star Wars with almost nothing left , no Luke , no Leia, looks like Rey Parents are nobody so there also nothing to wait to solve , no Snoke we never knew who he was , looks like wont be a romance Kylo and Rey looks more Rey is going to kill him for me i do know what to look for maybe how she kill Kylo and there is the end .i wanted see a REYLO but looks like wont:(
moviefan LYV That’s the problem with total originality or complete unpredictability, you simply cannot practically do that without turning out a load of shit. Even Rey Skywalker was better. Look, they had no plan.just hack writer Rian Johnson allowed to do whatever he wanted. And it sucked.
It was 1985 the last time luke was main character in star wars, i was 17, now 49 so waited 32 years to see the return of luke who has turned into a weird, loopy hermit who is no longer linked to the force and has no idea! No epic scenes, story or seeing luke as a real jedi master, no real villian and no idea, what have they done!! My personal favourite is the first order massive ships that cant speed up and cant hit the rebel ships for no logical reason and have to wait for them to run out of fuel, common this is star wars!!!!
Another thing about the purple haired people eater lady is when Leia comes back out of that coma and walks in, the first thing she does is shoot Poe just to show that the women were correct.
I watched your bang on rant about The Force Awakens 2 years ago and it was a tour de force. So I decided to hold off on watching this movie UNTIL I had an opportunity to watch your review of it. Thank you for saving me the cinema fee. Are you still in Tokyo? I find that I'm always much more objective when I watch movies here in Japan, because the Japanese hardly ever laugh at the jokes, so I am never influenced by the sense of audience camaraderie I get back in the West. Cheers.
Jon in Osaka that's legendary mate. I don't think I deserve that much respect I'm a very harsh obsessive critic. I'd still reckon check it out if only to see for yourself. I can tell you though if you hated force awakens this is exactly the same shit! I am in japan yes. I'm a tokyo man though what's good in Osaka? There were a few giggles but only at visual jokes with CGI none of the verbal jokes Jon.
I like how you are able to point out logical inconsistencies off the cuff, which to me is a sign of an analytical mind -- harsh or otherwise. I'll save my money though, seeing as how 1800 yen is a pretty penny. Osaka's doing good! The economy is finally taking off around here, which was almost unthinkable as little as 3 or 4 years ago. I find that when the audience is around me is laughing and cheering, it tends to cloud my judgement -- but I don't get that here which is why I tend to be much more harsh in my criticisms of movies in Japan.
It seems to me that it started with tourism, but now everything is picking up: manufacturing, retail. I am a homeowner and property prices started increasing sometime in 2015 (Japan had basically been in deflation for over 20 years) and that has sparked more home-buying and conversely more home-selling and home-building in my area.
Holding for Hux, chucking the lightsaber over his shoulder, death of Snoke, stupid death of Luke, alien tit milk, Superman Leia floating through space, ship runs on fucking gas, no set up for nine, Snoke is a nobody, Rey is a nobody WTF did I just watch
the problem with the jokes is that even the weakest jokes seem to get polite laughter in any packed theater. half the reviews for this movie made it seem to be awesome, the other half that it was disappointing. after TFA and Rogue One I expected it would either be great or just mediocre. instead it was awful... I should have listened. now I get to at least enjoy a million like-minded reviews (and those critics must have been bought off, or they think "Star Wars" means no standards apply)
Dude you are hilarious!! I agree with everything you said. I saw the movie and it sucks. I can’t believe Disney raped us like that. There were some good scenes but they were overshadowed with crap scenes. I didn’t care for Rose and the whole Finn/Rose subplot was utter shitwater. And Superman Leia? WHAT. THE. HELL.
Yeah Finn/Rose reminded me of the prequels! Thanks for the comment Scott. Superman Leia yeah … and even Superman himself ain't as interesting as Batman because Batman can die at any moment and therefore there is drama and tension to his battles. You have to be vulnerable and relatable to be an interesting character. Rey? What the hell man, less charisma than one of those fucking alien penguins!
The movie reminded of Looper (another Rian Johnsonn directed flick) in that it felt like it was trying to be more clever than it actually was. In all honesty, I enjoyed it but it could have been so, so much better.
you're right. This movie was complete shit. Someone wrote " well you can't expect Luke to fight a lightsaber battle cause he's an old man already" WTF??? 2 WORDS...COUNT DOOKU. Christopher Lee was like either late 70's or in his early 80's when he did the prequels and he had lightsaber scenes. plus with all CGI and effects I'm sure they could've done the same with Mark Hamill. that just tells me whoever said that MH was too old is not a Star Wars fan and has not seen the prequels. I am in disgust of Star Wars right now. I'm tired of hearing how this movie is great and we all know it isn't.
I know exactly how you feel man. TFW, disappointing. Rogue One. Disappointing. Yet there I am on opening night, hoping beyond hope that TLJ was going to make me love Star Wars again. I should've known better. The people making these new movies don't get what made SW great.
cormyat07 What's funny is that alot of people don't know what made the original's great. It was definately alot more to do with Marcia Lucas than alot of us know.
Rogue One was watchable and had a good ending at least. I don't think it's a coincidence that much of the Rogue One story was conceived prior to the sale to Disney.
I actually consider Rogue One my favorite of the latest three. Granted, I've only seen any of the three just once and I'm not a fanboy. I don't see where all the hate comes from, maybe I'm only basing it on the last 30-45 minutes as well lol.
You're missing the point they need to get every man in this was treated like an idiot every woman is smart and confident and rational Ray is it independent strong woman she don't need to be trained by no man I hate Disney
Thats what he was talking about making women superior to men thats the reason the movie failed big time! Let women buy all the StarWars toys from now on lets see how long SW will last lol
Here’s why Luke killing Kylo makes zero sense: 1) the force future known to be wrong (empire strikes back) the only reason for it was to destroy Luke’s legacy and make Rey out to be the perfect Mary Sue she is
![HONEST Star Wars 9: Rise of Skywalker review [EPIC RANT]](/img/1.gif)
I wish I could disappear like Luke did after watching that movie.
Lmao too true!
I wish Disney would disappear like a chopped in half Sith Lord.
That Video Games Show I haven't even watched the movie and I wish I can disappear like Luke
I'm one more bad movie away from walking away from this franchise so glad I saved my money for Darkest Hour
RyoMassaki . I'm with you on that one
lmao. Just sucked out of existence.
I cried when Luke died. My husband was like “wtf” at me. I was crying not because Luke died but because Disney murdered his storyline. All these years, waiting, anticipating and hoping that I’ll live to see Luke in cinema. He is my hero, I never needed a female character to show me that I can be a mofo Jedi. And then I finally see Luke and HE DOESNT EVEN SHOW UP FOR A FIGHT. A MAN WHO FACED THE EMPEROR TO SAVE HIS FATHER ALL ALONE. THIS MAN WAS ON THE VERGE OF KILLING HIS OWN NEPHEW???? God....
And I totally agree about politics and females in the movies. Such a disgrace. This movie was so bad I need to film my own rant but I’ll pretty much echo what you said.
Mate now you make me want to cry! Right, a man who took on the Emperor didn't even show up to battle! Jesus Christ
Sloth only reason I say it a second time; to remember my childhood hero, the one who was flawed but always saw the positive. To see him like that, did hurt. Let the past go, Kill it if you have too...May 2018 will be another awakening for Lucasfilm/ Disney.
My wife, who grew up idolizing young Luke, had pretty much the same reaction as you. Get her started on what they did to Luke and she'll still start yelling.
*This beutiful and well deserved rant is genuinely more entertaining than both Force Awakens and Last Jedi abominations*
Subbed
The DORUK there is one thing I'm generally impressed with admittedly I haven't seen this movie but it seems like they made a movie even worse than the force awakens didn't think such a feat was possible
Anthony Jordan movies and more work
*Exactly!* 👌
YES!! Agree!
I agree 100%!
Anthony Jordan movies and more work When I saw TFA I thought "hmm that was okay, certainly something to build on", I was expecting the follow up to be the next Empire Strikes Back. I never expected this travesty.
The critics are scared of Disney.
correction: they are being payed by disney... they would have no more all access to everything disney is doing...is business remember.
I totally agree with you about Luke. I’ve been waiting since Return of the Jedi to see Luke unleash his “full force abilities”. Totally disappointed. What a complete waste of an amazing character.
Jim Jones I couldn’t agree more, they made count dooku in his older age whoop some ass, luke could’ve been all that and more, how they didn’t know this is beyond me, an example is the end, if he’s going to die anyway, why not have him actually BE there and go out in a blaze of glory. And Luke wouldn’t want to see his sister in the flesh? When he knows she and the rebels need his help desperately? I could go on for hours, it’s sad, I never thought in my wildest dreams I would hate a Star Wars movie but here we are...
At least I could laugh at the bad in The Phantom Menace. In here I was completely WTF...
Now At least we can watch the mandalorian to see luke skywalker. This was not luke in tlj. It was joke skywalker
There was zero emotional impact when Luke vanished like a fart in the wind, since they didn’t make it %100 clear at that moment that he was dying. I thought “so is he dead or what’s actually going on?”.
It was only clarified by a statement a few scenes later, by which time any potential emotional impact of Luke’s death had passed.
findlestick what was the clarifying statement?
burntvirtue I’ve only seen it once, but Luke’s apparent death is mentioned by some character later. Something that loosely translates to “he’s in a better place” or something?
They just gave him the same ending as the turtle master in Kung Fu Panda.
burntvirtue rey and leia say they can't sense Luke anymore
burntvirtue I think Leia said it or something
Mark Hamill looked pissed as fuck after he saw the film for the first time
Disney paid the critics, everybody knows the movie are trash, but it still got 93% on RT. Plus how the hell did critics said its on par with empire strikes back. Its all seems fishy
ario rangga it was on par just because it had imperial walkers lol. That's the only similarity I could see
I suspect a lot of those professional reviewers are either paid by Disney or pandering to them out of fear.
Considering Disney is essentially buying the whole industry, they're probably in fear of losing their jobs.
ario rangga you nailed, man. It's not difficult for an evil mafia like Disney to bribe whoever they want! Specially the loser critics of Rotten Tomatoes.
Ricardo Santos Damn straight man
Horrible movie. I grimaced through most of the film. Insightful review. Good points.
Pontiac127 your review of the review is grimacing
This movie was feminist, post-modernist propaganda. If I had to sit there and watch them jump cut between old women giving monologues about "The Resistance"/"resisting" and an orange-haired Hux, any longer than the run time of that abomination--so help me. I was literally waiting for one of them to say "I'm with Her," when referring to Carrie.
I came in with my expectations low and was still disappointed.
Ray is the ultimate millennial, she does not have to work hard for anything.
Chris McEvoy the parallels are clear to see
Yep. No denying it now.
Rey is the ultimate millennial. Chris is the ultimate bellend. Congratulations you did it.
Well she's a girl so she must be perfect while all the male characters must be stupid idiots by default because it's not about genders, you know. You sexist lol
The majority of millennial are entitled assholes, facts are facts.
Buddy, I wish everyone had the balls to say what you just did. This was so spot on and I thank you for articulating it so perfectly. I wish all of Hollywood would watch this rant.
I agree with everything you said. This movie was a major disappointment. Disney officially killed Star Wars for me.
Blood Raven Disney is so greedy
now we have to wait for another unique creation we can get nostalgic over in the future...star wars is done:/
My love for Star Wars has been ruined with this film.
My view is that anything produced in the name of Star Wars without George Lucas's involvement is simply fan fiction on a big budget. Shakespeareans wouldn't accept some random people continuing a classic like Romeo and Juliet so why should fans of the originals and prequels accept these new stories as part of the story? It gives me peace of mind when watching the new movies but even when looking at it from the perspective that is is a fan fiction movie, it doesn't make the movie anymore enjoyable. I hope it does for you by adopting this perspective. Don't let some fan-fiction ruin your love for Star Wars 1-6.
Good, stop supporting the franchise and turn the entire base against them. Troll and talk shit and burn it to the floor. That's the only way to teach them a lesson.. to hurt them in the pockets.. otherwise expect the same for every other franchise you love.
Snoke's death is complete bullshit. He is clearly capable of manipulating Kylo's mind, and can see his every intent (Snoke even says this), but somehow this unbelievably powerful being, more powerful than Vader and Palpatine, despite his almost omniscient powers, doesn't see the manipulation of a lightsabre RIGHT NEXT TO HIM.
Bullshit.
Anders Møker he was able to force throw Hux from across the galaxy! Yet a Douche in a mask somehow tricked him? The same Douche he just used force lightning to throw across the room earlier in the movie. It's like the writer wrote everything with one night of redbull and forgot everything afterwards by sleeping for 3 days then proceeded without any proofreading.
He was comically Mary Snoked (overpowered) in this one, so it made me not care about him as a character, not to mention him being irate, which isn't cool to watch. And after all that Palpatine X Yoda squared power, he was beaten like a packet of wheetbix. Expectations subverted, yes. So how do I get my refund?
This review entertained me more than watching The Last Jedi.
Letters Word Of course it did you uncultured swine
Spot on. Great review. Rian Johnson took a huge dump on the franchise. The movie's plot was awful and poorly executed.
TallBob1962 hopefully he will be fired for making 10 11 and 12 but I doubt it
Such a disservice to Luke's character. He evolved into a chump, coward. Complete opposite of a lionhearted warrior we knew. I thought Master Luke Skywalker after so much adversity/challenges he has faced that he would have gone to exile for a sort of revival from such tragedy. Stays in Actoo to meditate at the old Jedi Temple, make peace with himself and no self guilt and counsel with Master Yoda/Kenobi. Gather his thoughts and plan a solution
I totally agree. We were lucky to see his progression from whiney farm-boy to Jedi Master. And now? He's just fucked off and done fuck all for the best part of 40 years, deserted everyone, and fucks up with Kylo in a ridiculous way. Luke was never like that when he matured. And now he's DEAD! We will never be treated to a serious Luke battle now. Even Obi Wan in the original in 1 minute of flitting sabres with vader was more awesome than both of these abominations combined.
Johnny Massacre yep. I concur. We as fans are now fucked with this bullshit
It’s really a disaster to Luke’s character. Not only that Rey is more powerful than Luke and Kylo Ren with zero training plus we don’t even know where her family nor history towards her combat training.
I feel your pain ... movie SUCKED...they killed everyone the villain Snoke, the good guy Luke
william curry the metal storm trooper, admiral ackbar, the purple hair lady, the story itself...
Are you sure Snoke is dead? Watch him come back in IX when we find out that was just a projection that was cut in half.
purple hair lady is truly redundant however...
This version of Luke wasn't even a good guy, he was a Hobo idiot that doesn't connect to the Luke of the Original Trilogy at all.
I think it was worth the two year wait. My hopes and wishes have all come true. For the rant that is.
Günay Orbay terrible Star Wars movies bring out the best in me. It sees the good in me!
I liked both this video, and your comment, then unliked both just so I could relike both.
I agree! I haven't seen the movie, and probably won't see it, but have been really looking forward to Mr. Massacre's review.
Oh you got me lmao
Rose < Jar Jar Binks
i agree 100% - i thought TFA sucked, but this takes it down another level in crap. Luke Skywalker was my childhood hero, he should have came in and kicked butt in TFA, but no we had to wait for TLJ for him to kick butt, and they nurtured him. its just a complete and colossal disaster
Yup. For many people Lance Armstrong was also a childhood hero, but he turned out to be a fucking fraud with a needle in his veins. Truth is, good stories with a basis in actual reality and rationality tend to hit too close to home ;)
Why cause realism is too confronting for lil baby need my daddy skywalker to fist my anus?
"If Benicio del Toro's character knew how to escape from prison...
...what was he still doing there?"
- someone with no education higher than a Grade 12 Certificate.
Archlord V LMFAO 😂😂😂
Hahaha.
I watched it with my wife on Disney plus the other day for shits n gigs, to talk shit about it, haven't watched it since theaters... I said to my wife "why the fuck is he sleeping there, or still doing there if he can escape??? Nothing makes sense in that film... devastating treatment of legendary film hero Luke Skywalker, it's a travesty.
I know DJ was in jail so Rose and Finn get out
His name is DJ
When this makes The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones look good, you know there's a fucking problem!
Nick DePaulo actually missing jar jar binks now 🙀
My friends and I think Phantom Menace is a better movie than TLJ! My friends were huge prequel haters (more than me), so that definitely says something about how shitty this movie is!
I appreciate guys like you putting out honest reviews like this. I got taken in by TFA, but this time around, thanks to reviews such as yours, Disney won't be getting a dime from me for this horseshit. Even Mark Hamill is pissed by what they did to his character.
You are so right about politics and feminist propaganda...
Seconded!
I refuse to send my money to Disney by choosing not to go see this crappy lefty movie
LMAO yes!!!
It was obvious but it didn’t feel natural. It felt forced. I wish this movie was a one off and not part of trilogy or continuity
Don't forget about the PETA commercial nestled snuggly in the middle with an all too obvious protest about horse racing. Really? WTF Disney???
*sigh*
I agree on every point with you brother. such a heart break man.
You're right about sky walker not fighting. Everything about this movie was a disaster.
Ben Kenobi went out like a champ... Luke Skywalker went out like a chump. :(
yea and its sad mark deserves better
Luke definitely didn't go out like a chump, but he did go out pointlessly.
i agree with that and it was pointless all that he acheved in return of the jedi was all for nothing i suppose i am glad i am not gonna see it
Well said. Ben Kenobi went out like a true JEDI. Really feel sorry for Mark Hamill since he disagreed with Rian Johnson regarding the portrayal of Luke.
Right, no training? So what are masters for? What is an academy for? Just insane.
I’m glad normal folk are starting to wake up to this Social justice crap.
YAWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS
LV999 Sozk You must be tired why don’t you hit the pillow I herd you like biting pillows.
Does anyone want to see my reaction to Rogue One? I completely ignored that movie when I saw Disney's weird SJW ideology in its trailers, but I'm willing to see it and suffer for your schadenfreude if you're interested.
i would like to see that, yes please!
Rogue One is actually decent, forced diversity cast aside. The movie at least doesn't undermine the other Star Wars material out there.
A lot of people said that. Even Ben Shapiro liked it and he is crazy anti SJW. I saw the Vader scene which was amazing (on RUclips). I'll check it out then. Thanks for the info.
Yes. I'm going to watch it for the first time today. Epic rant dude. New sub here.
Difficult to answer. I would like to see a review from you, but I also don’t want you or anyone to watch it.
I'm a published author and the writer in me was screaming at the screen... WTF!
Everything about the movie was lazy and way over thought to try and trick the audience and make $. Instead of just thinking of a great story to create.
And different for different's sake.
yeah, they were really trying hard to swerve fans. Lucas did this too with the prequels, but it was even worse here. from the last jedi we get the impression the suits at disney are now embarrassed they ever made the force awakens and wants to bury it. great, after it made you over 2 billion I guess that was stupid... imagine if Lucas had did this...if he spent over half of Attack of the Clones burying the plot and characters of Episode I. maybe some fans would have loved that but here it comes across as really petty and annoying.
Justin Wiseman you said it right! I felt i was tricked. Nonsense. it is a money making scheme
Well said Justin the folks over at podcast now escalated further and called it Star Wars Gotcha! Everything had to be ruined by the I bet you didn't see that coming. TFA set up promises and that TLJ didn't bother with just because. But like all ex's they're making fans think its their fault and fake news.
I've been sucked in for the last time.
ｈｔｔｐ://ｈｕｍａｎｌｉｆｅ.ｓｐａｃｅ/2017/12/19/ｕｓｅ-ｔｈｅ-ｆｏｒｃｅ-ｌｕｋｅ/
Great job - my young adult son asked me during the movie if this was supposed to be fan fiction. Then he said it looked like bad fan fiction. I knew it would be lousy, didn't plan to go, but accompanied my son when his dad was too ill to go. I was grateful to have watched multiple youtube spoiler videos. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if I had gone into this movie cold. If they wanted to start with new characters, then they should have left the originals OUT of the movies in the first place rather than destroy them on film!
Disney’s Star Wars is uninspired, recycled, poorly crafted, assembly-line, nostalgia exploiting trash.
orangesoda 👊🏼
and a brilliant movie ha
yes hated this movie wtf
Rey; two years and one major movie later and she's still a Mary Sue.
Oh, stop with the Mary Sue BS. Poe can dance all across the galaxy in a fighter taking down starships by himself while quipping away, but you hear nothing about it. If it was some dude you could relate to there would be no problem. Just drop it already.
Everyone is constantly slapping Poe down for his rashness. So no, you don't understand what a Mary Sue is. It's not simply about how badass you are.
cormyat07 they didn't do it as hard in here but yeah I still partially agree
SHE HAD LITERALLY NO TRAINING AND HANDS OUT Ls TO EVERYONE EFFORTLESSLY. SHE IS A MARY SUE
Completely agree! How is a character like this supposed to be empowering to girls/women? It's just nonsense!
"Rey beats Kylo Ren without any training"
Because women are far more stronger than men, don't you know? They don't need training
That's what feminists tell us
Very disappointed
me too bro.. :(
Fucking crybabies
A force user strong enough to bridge a connection across the galaxy so real that physical attributes are transferred between this link (Kylo’s wet hand) or be able to force manipulate Hux without even being in the same room? And this power is introduced and unexplained and thrown away in less than an hour? And this character can’t sense a manipulated lightsaber right fucking beside him?
Hated TLJ but Vader did force choke an officer remotely.
What bothered me is that she was totally willing to go to the dark side of the force,until she felt like she couldn't get what she wanted from it. That totally ruined whatever high ground they tried to give her in the choosing the light side of the force
We were spoiled by 4, 5 and 6 mate, what has it come to now!?
“It’s over Anakin, I have he high ground” if only they’d put this scène in her mirrors moment, right now I’m actually missing mofo jarjarbinks tho
She was tempted by the dark side the same way Luke was ... he was also tempted to go into the cave in the ESB .
Ricardo Silva she was tempted, she full on delved into it, Yoda told Luke to go in to face his Darkside, but she happily went into the darkness in general, until the plot decides she's only lightside.
They turn a man who would rather die, than kill an evil but redeemable Vader. To a man who would contemplate the murder of his nephew for thought crime, to the point of having a drawn blade over a sleeping child.
I learned my lesson when I walked out halfway thru Force awakens.(Still pissed about that movie)
DrewZilla I seriously considered walking out of this movie, but the cinema was so packed I couldn't be bothered.
Thanks for the rant,tho.I enjoyed that at least.
Johnny Massacre I'm glad for your honest opinion mate.
DrewZilla wish I did that
Disney still got your money though, dumbass
If Luke went to the island to die then why leave a map?¥
too many jokes in this movie... oh wait this movie was a joke
Tugboat **too**
Tugboat bad joke
just like the movie...
The lady (Kathleen Kennedy) who took over everything after George Lucus cashed out is responsible for this shit.... The whole fucking new trilogy was positioned as a girl power story arch ending with Leia and Rey taking out Kylo Ren. While vintage Star Wars was all about masculinity and good humor, the new films are about emasculation and girl power and this misplaced bad skit humor that seems borrowed from a Marvel film... Look at the Star of Rogue One! God only knows what they are doing to Han Solo in this upcoming young Han Solo film.
This was the worst film I've seen this year. If this movie would have been directed by Zack Snyder and produced by WB, the critics would have crucified them.
Chris Serna yup. In a year with Valerian and Alien covenant, this one took the cake
Man you are so right
The purple haired lady, wore that neck scarf, to hide her adam's apple. 😮
john hogskins lol
No true Star Wars fan would like this film.
LaughingLion4Ever for sure. Which begs the question who the hell made this film? They don't know shit about what makes Star Wars Star Wars.
If people who hate Star Wars were allowed to make a Star Wars film what would it be like ?
Just like TLJ :)
Juliusz Horst haha
Slim420 Reshades even if you hated Star Wars I still reckon you could make a better movie than last Jedi. It's hard to make something so boring :D
You got it all right about the leftist agenda. It f’n sickening.
Yes! And it makes cinema so fucking boring
Agreed! This film was garbage. Shit plot and disappointing continuation over all. Disrespectful to the series as a whole.
Jose Prendes Feel free to do it better, douche
Jose Prendes It was terrible
I hated the Prequels but I hate TLJ even more. I grew up on the originals and TLJ was no Star Wars move. I am all for Women's rights but they over did it with all the female lead roles. I mean it is great to see women in power and I am all for it, but it is way overdone in this one. It was a Saturday morning cartoon. It wasn't dark or mysterious like the originals. No explanation for a lot of stuff. Fans, you can save your money and the way things went it is like there is no reason to make a 9th Star Wars. Whatever it's going to be, Star Wars ended in TLJ with the death of Luke. the future of Star Wars will be nothing like the past.
If you hated the Prequels, this new Disney bs is all that you deserve to get
Glad some people were aware of how man-hating this film was. It was so obvious to me, that it distracted me from enjoying just about any of it.
You were wrong about Luke in the originals. He wasnt ready to fight Vader after 3 weeks in the swamp. He actually lost to Vader. This is nothing like Mary Sue Rey. He struggled all the way through the series until way at the end, and even then, that was as much him turning Vaders heart as his skill.
waltermh111 I agree...
Luke had such an incredible character development - training, loosing and having to be rescued to helping and redeeming- ending in becoming a Jedi knight.
One thing many have to remember is he is the son of the chosen one. Whom is (according to George himself) the strongest Jedi - becoming what his father was meant to be
Vader went easy on Luke In Empire because he wanted Luke to join him.
My view is that anything produced in the name of Star Wars without George Lucas's involvement is simply fan fiction on a big budget. Shakespeareans wouldn't accept some random people continuing a classic like Romeo and Juliet so why should fans of the originals and prequels accept these new stories as part of the story? It gives me peace of mind when watching the new movies but even when looking at it from the perspective that is is a fan fiction movie, it doesn't make the movie anymore enjoyable.
Cookie Monster it's a great point about Shakespeare. Because there is only one George Lucas, and only one Shakespeare. Prequels aside, and theories about Shakespeare's works' origins aside, you simply cannot recreate and manufacture lightning in a bottle. That's like saying, Michael Jackson is dead, let's find a new one. Or a new James Brown. Or a new biggie smalls. You just can't.
I thought this soon after watching TFA and a lot of people on reddit said I was being ridiculous. Well I'm sure the people that despised this movie will be glad to look at it from this perspective now! It saves me a lot of heartache at least and hope it does for you. Unfortunately a lot of people who hate it still count it as the Star Wars story and so will future generations. In that respect the legacy is slightly ruined, although I hope the legacy in the future is that George knew best!
Wow, you have no fucking clue what you're talking about. For one, the EU was not the least bit supervised, not even by Lucas. Thats why it contraticts itself on all ends. But of course that was no fan fiction, now was it?
And bringing up Shakespeare: You are aware that Shakespeare had his own workshop with people working for him, right? We don't know how much of is work was actually done by him personally. He was pretty much the Disney of his time.
Cookie Monster can we include rogue one as canon? I think it holds up especially the rebels vs empire side, unlike this new trilogy it showed depth on both sides, AND had kick ass awesome space and ground battles that felt very star wars, with actual tactics and thought put into them, no slow ass giant bombers that get shot down immidiately and had gravity dependent payloads
@Johny Massacre Look at what I tweeted to Jett Lucas regarding my perspective ! He RT me! I was joking really about the bit at the end but maybe he will tell the man himself!"@mrjettlucas TLJ shows how good George Lucas's movie are.IMO anything produced in the name of SW without his involvement is simply fan fiction on a big budget. Shakespeareans wouldn't accept some random people continuing a classic so why should we?Let him know this thanks"
I can imagine a Disney roundtable going something like this...
"Let's have Ackbar fly the cruiser into Snoke's ship, sacrificing himself to buy time for the others to escape. It would be a fantastic and noble close to a long and distinguished career and service against the Empire/First Order."
"No. Ackbar has a penis. Let's have a brand new, female character who nobody knows, with only 8 minutes of screen time (all of which is berating, belittling and emasculating the last strong, non-whiny male in the franchise) do it instead."
"Good idea. Go with the second one... And make sure Skywalker's character and complete backstory is destroyed before we off him for no purpose other than we can't have a male character stronger than the female lead. He has to go."
The castration of Star Wars, Disney style. Yep.
A fan of 40 years, I will never have anything to do with Star Wars again.
Agreed. I was a huge fan of the OT but didn't get on board with the prequels. These new Disney movies have felt like an annual slog that's mildly entertaining, and I did enjoy some elements of TFA and R1. And I could even forget the SJW elements of TLJ if there was a compelling story to back it up, but it's completely devoid of any interesting characters. The only person who truly had a story arc at all was Luke. I'm sure I will see the new movies when they come out, but I'm really just over Star Wars at this point and could care less what happens to Rey, Finn, Rose, Poe or any other members of the rainbow gang.
Lets not forget that Snoke's ship was called „Supremacy”
Can you see these PC ninnies letting a guy named Ackbar do a suicide run?
'The First Order is all white males.' Preach brother!
Rose's character was awful. That's how you know she was a political statement more than a character. Her dialogue was cringey and heavy-handed, and poorly delivered.
Just the name "Rose" takes you out of the fantasy of "in a galaxy far, far away...".
Maybe the First order is all white males, because the first order, just like the empire, is a racist, surpressive dictatorship? This is like saying "And of course all the Nazis in Saving Private Ryan where Germans. Typical American Racism!"
rascalMatt17 The Empire was racist, both in the expanded universe as well as in the new canon. The empire was purely white male in the OT too, while the rebels where diverse as fuck. So I guess SJWs where already active in the seventies. Luke was about to join an emperial acedemy in ANH, by the way. So him being a rebel was kinda unlikely, since he wasn't a surpressed class.
The second sentence was sarcasm, you fucking idiot.
charles bronson So, name me one Imperial Officer that isn't white.
Fully agreed. We're at the height of this SJW crap right now and unfortunately media, film and music has all been sucked into it.
Great review.
Indeed. It is such a relief to have someone on RUclips vocalize your deep feeling of insult after watching this "movie".
There are lots of them, the movie is shit and everyone knows it
Disney is controlled by Feminist Natzi's, so is their wonder this movie sucked? A perfect example of this is when they had the Ship Admiral (the blue headed project crazy beach) take control of the fleet and bascially gets everyone killed because she only wanted cucked men and women on her side. In the end she became "the hero" by killing herself and getting most of the ships blown away, WTF? I thought Lukes"homeless guy" character was a complete basket case, and scene after scene he is turning his back and running away like a coward. While the young female character seemed to carry his sabre in her purse (another cucked man cock refrence). This is not the Luke Skywalker I remembered from a new hope. I give this movie a C- at best, because it smells of NWO MIND CONTROL that we all need to get along bullshit, for the purpose of herding us all together like sheeps to the slaughter. By making the movie with a palette for a world wide diverse auidence, Disney Star Wars sales have gone up 6 times, and the last 2 movies made close to $4 Billion. So it seems like Disney has forsaken quality, for greed!!
couldnt listen to all this review, cause its depressing, hes right tho but so disapointed of this lazy movie fuck!! i think im not even a star wars fan anymore movie was STUPID AS FUCK AND A INSULT TO STAR WARS, EVEN THE PREQUELS WERE BETTER THAN THAT (except the cheezy love story of anakin that was wack as fuck)
False
Thank you. I too am tired of the SJW ideologies being forced down my throat. That is why Luke was portrayed as he was.
Im boycotting this political snore fest. My heart lays with the original trilogy
Mrsushi1011
I have a new appreciation for the Prequels now. They are like masterpieces compared to these Disney abominations.
But the first 3 warts were the evil patriarchy feminists said.
Fck Liberals ruined our western world.
Men and woman are physically, and psychologically different from one another.. this is a fact, it is also the natural order. This is not something one should shun, but embrace. It is this very dynamic that makes the interaction between the two sexes compelling and extrodanary to watch. We both have a reason for being that is finite, yet equally essential in necessity of the existence in which we live.
Do not trust some of the reviewers out there cause they've fanboying over it, just wait till they take there nerd glasses off and wake up. I hear some reviewers saying they need to watch it twice to give it a score wtf really. Rey is such a wasted character pretty much a NOBODY that Luke trained, saved and die for. She is not related by Luke, Leia or Han, snoke is a NOBODY they've been building up but died quickly without explaining who the fuck this guy is. Everything in this movie is a wasted opportunity, no set up for the next movie(ending scene was just utter BS) no major villain cause kylo ren is not a major. Nobody was developed and explained in this movie phasma or snoke just wasted fucking nostalgia.
Mc Knight thanks for adding that. I didn't mention that. And you're right. Who the fuck was snoke!? We don't give a shit about him because well we don't know anything about him. Crazy.
I saw it yesterday (Saturday) with my mom, wife and kids. Walked out of there depressed. Going to see it again with my friends on Tuesday and I don’t even want to go. Unbelievable. What they did to the character Luke Skywalker was criminal.
Exactly, and you still gonna watch it. Thats the problem, money talks.
And what about the Max Von Sydow character in Force Awakens that was never explained? Seems they're making a habit of this.
Shawn Derrick Max Von Sydow! When I saw him in the last one I was like, "Yes!" because Sydow is and always was awesome. But what did they do to him? Kill him in two minutes. Why bother? What a waste of talent.
Star Wars 9: Rey finds out Han and Leia are her parents. Rey kills her brother Kylo. Rey and Po fall in love and pilot the Millenium Falcon together. Finn and Rose fall in love. Peace is restored and the torch is passed on to the kids on casino island. There I saved you 2 years.
If women were strong enough to stand on their own "they" wouldn't feel the need to make them constantly invincible- you have it backwards, it's an agenda. Anyway the movie was crap and with Disney at the helm it's only going to get worse. Until someone reboots the whole thing from just after Return of the Jedi it's basically over for Star Wars fans.
The people who planed this trilogy were like: "What is the one and only extremely hugely important thing EVERY SINGLE Star Wars fan, has been waiting 35 years for, and is dying to see in this trilogy? Well of course it is Luke using the Force and fighting!" And then they thought: "Let’s NOT do that and piss them off!, Yay!"
Andy Dufresne - And let him Drink green Space walrus milk with a creepy smirk on his face.... 😕
The best thing you do is to stay the fuck home for the next movie. They killed off everyone anybody gave a shit about. Rey is powerful because estrogen? How empty.
She's a maREY sue! Rian could have at least tried to give her a backstory, but nope instead, he was too busy making Luke an attempted child murderer and later killed him for shits and giggles!
For the Vietnamese girl, you know she is a diversity hire because her sister was also supposedly some heroic gunner that fought to the end on the aircraft of some famous character in the movie.
It is stupid how they try to make women not women as if that will ever change reality. It isnt that women cant be heroic, it is that it is rare because they have the babies, which gives them certain biological traits. But they pour it on so thick here that it becomes a turn off, it ruins the suspension of disbelief.
I agree 100%.
Exactly mate. And the ironic thing, dare I say it. Its kinda sexist against the realites of men in the you know. THE REAL WORLD.
to answer any question about these movies just answer with "because Kathy Kennedy wants to emasculate Star Wars".
pied a' terre: I think Kennedy and Disney think that if they just cram a bunch of random women in they can start selling more toys to girls. I think that’s literally the only goal. That’s why the ladies are 2D or have inexplicable powers.
Kathleen Kennedy will slowly but surely and painfully kill star wars!
pied a' terre. They did a great job with Rogue One except with some useless characters but really delivered on the action 3rd act. They have gone in opposite direction since TFA
This has been the most honest review yet. Agree with EVERY word. What this movie has done for George Lucas, is elevate to a supreme degree his prequels. I personally, liked his prequels. They had depth. And sometimes depth must be told slower and perhaps feel less exciting at times. But I think true Star Wars fans who did not like the prequels, will embrace them more than ever, after watching this mess of a movie. Poe, Rae, and Fynn are weak characters. They can in no way replace what was lost on Star Wars. I will follow the Rogue sequels, but I think my days with Star Wars, ended with the death of the Evil Emperor.
The death of snoke was as anticlimatic as it was stupid. Why did snoke even make it into this movie. We have no idea who or what he was and never will. No depth at all! Snoke literally is in kylo's mind seeing what he's gonna do but not really cuz kylo kills him in the exact way he should be ready for. How is this force weakling (snoke) in charge of anything? Just another shallowly written part of the movie which is based on pushing swallow bullshit. This movie is a Disney movie not a Star Wars movie.
Paul I thought that Snoke was going to stop the lightsaber from striking himself and then attempts to kill kylo.
Paul indeed.
Yeah, at least explain why was his face so scarred and messed up.
Snoke is the Darth Maul of TLJ.
At least Darth Maul was never ment to be intrinsic to the plot of TPM. He was just a cool looking character that moved the plot along to focus on Obi and Anakin's relationship.
Where's Snoke imo, was built up to be the new Sith Lord / Emperor.
If you like this film then I can only say you have no understanding of not only what Star Wars is, but also what a good film should consist of. It ain't any of this shit.
Paul between snoke and Rey being a nobody... epic fail
As a Liberal, it pisses me off to see my own party resorting to political correct bullshit.
Same here. I'm liberal by default, but I hate force social and political issues in movies. Especially when it one sided and narrow minded.
The rift on the left is bloody maddening that it has fallen to such a petty conflict over gender and for the most part, things people can't change about themselves.
I also found it infuriating how the film tried to almost constantly provide (poorly attempted) humour at points when it should have been a serious moment. It completely mocks what Star Wars was originally about; serious, warfare and gritty.
And I thought the exact same thing about the purple haired woman. Her only purpose was to make Poe look dumb and clumsy whilst showing women as strong leaders. He could have developed as a character after TFA but he didn't at all and overall there were too many characters that I don't care about.
Suddenly Lea is able to fly through space like superwoman SMH!
Cookie Monster I can't believe I forgot to mention Leia. I did intend to, but my brain is rubbish, so I forgot! I thought at that point some Jedi master, Luke, was using force powers to transport her in. What the hell? Also I 100% agree with you, and your vocabulary, about serious warfare and grittiness. The battle between Luke and Darth Vader in ESB is exactly that, bloody and real and raw. In the last Jedi, there is only one blood scene, and I'm pretty sure that was just the blood quota for the film rating. The jokes in this diffuse the seriousness. The original Star Wars had the perfect balance between seriousness, and comedy. The dynamics and peaks and troughs were correct. Unlike TLJ. You nailed it.
Regarding Lea, yes, Disney have turned the force into Disney magic! No training or guidance required and do as you like for any character or plot. I thought the same thing after the lightsaber fight in TFA when she beat Ren, a trained sith who was capable of destroying the jedi temple! But this movie took it to the next level of ridiculousness!
I read your comments below about being fooled into watching another Disney star wars movie again. Unfortunately I did too even after reading that the film was so bad! I don't know what came over me! I thought 'oh well it will be a good ride with good action scenes in imax and it's fan-fiction anyway'. I found out of course that without a decent plot the action scenes are pretty dull and pointless. My money is staying in my pocket for future star wars movies because this storyline can't be redeemed. I hope this movie puts a lot of people off watching the Solo movie in May and hurts them financially but people will make our mistake again, no doubt!
Kylo ren is the least scary sith ever. I'd only be scared if I got his order wrong at Starbucks. He's supposed to be this badass sith but he sucks at fighting and gets beat by Rey and then has to be saved by her. Like wtf and now he's the most powerful sith???
This isn’t Star Wars . It’s the adventures of Fin and Rose
rmoreno94 adventures of discount Lando and Asian Jar Jar
"I dont give a f#k about cgi if the story isnt good" exactly. Laura Dern sucked completely. Remember Keira Knightly in Pirates of the Caribbean killing large men with a sword that she probably couldnt lift in real life? I dont get why these things are put in movies. Its not feminist its delusional. Leia was fun to watch as a kick ass general but the last scene with Leia and the Laura Dern character was just like 2 old ladies comforting each other totally unbelievable that they would be the powerhouse of world rebellion.
Exactly.
Let it out mah man, let it out.
I'm disappointed. THIS MOVIE IS UTTER TRASH!!!
Haha thanks bro. I feel much better after that.
I cried after watching it twice because it was a complete and utter disappointment! Got scammed by Disney because I'm a huge SW fangirl ever since I was 4.
Classic line:
I have a bad feeling about this.
Which describes how I felt at the start of watching this.
By the way another legacy that died in this Movie.
Not that anyone now gives a rats ass.
^this movie.
actually bb8 said it, hence why Poe said "happy beeps, buddy" or something like that.
You forgot to mention the unessary social commentary about "evil weapondealers" and "animal cruelty", if I want to see this I will watch the news.
Yeah I wanted to, but I forgot! That is more hypocritical SJW bullshit, because capitalism is the reason why Disney exists! And selling weapons to arms dealers is bad? Walt Disney was in the fucking military!
ah the classic "poorvsevil" isnt that the bullshit strawman that was used to justify AAAAALLL mass genocide of past century?
XD that only shows that pushing (genocidal and failture)agendas is more important than profit to this companies....what? oh you dont beleive? just check marvel in comics! getting their sells fucked after so much sjw and "ist" acusations bs...
It make we wonder.... what the fuck this guys are planing?...and also make us realize the crazy neighbour of up front, building a bunker in his backyard because "society colapse blablabla", isnt THAAAAAT crazy.
Only think I don't agree with you on is Luke bring good enough to fight Vader after three weeks of training. He really was not. That is why he could not stop the objects Vader was force throwing at Luke, and he got his hand cut off, lol so he was not ready nor good enough. Rey is complete BS. The character is not BELIEVABLE.
Disney is telling us forget about Luke , he is done is not great now, and they give us Porgs,
moviefan LYV: they told us to bid farewell to all 3 of them. I started mourning Luke Leia and Han as soon as I saw them in TFA. I wish they hadn’t even brought them back. Honestly.
yes you are right , i do know how JJ Abrahms will have IX Star Wars with almost nothing left , no Luke , no Leia, looks like Rey Parents are nobody so there also nothing to wait to solve , no Snoke we never knew who he was , looks like wont be a romance Kylo and Rey looks more Rey is going to kill him for me i do know what to look for maybe how she kill Kylo and there is the end .i wanted see a REYLO but looks like wont:(
moviefan LYV That’s the problem with total originality or complete unpredictability, you simply cannot practically do that without turning out a load of shit. Even Rey Skywalker was better. Look, they had no plan.just hack writer Rian Johnson allowed to do whatever he wanted. And it sucked.
It was 1985 the last time luke was main character in star wars, i was 17, now 49 so waited 32 years to see the return of luke who has turned into a weird, loopy hermit who is no longer linked to the force and has no idea! No epic scenes, story or seeing luke as a real jedi master, no real villian and no idea, what have they done!! My personal favourite is the first order massive ships that cant speed up and cant hit the rebel ships for no logical reason and have to wait for them to run out of fuel, common this is star wars!!!!
Agreed mate!
1983
Another thing about the purple haired people eater lady is when Leia comes back out of that coma and walks in, the first thing she does is shoot Poe just to show that the women were correct.
The way Luke drank the milk, i can't get that image out of my head. They did him so dirty.
I watched your bang on rant about The Force Awakens 2 years ago and it was a tour de force. So I decided to hold off on watching this movie UNTIL I had an opportunity to watch your review of it. Thank you for saving me the cinema fee. Are you still in Tokyo? I find that I'm always much more objective when I watch movies here in Japan, because the Japanese hardly ever laugh at the jokes, so I am never influenced by the sense of audience camaraderie I get back in the West. Cheers.
Jon in Osaka that's legendary mate. I don't think I deserve that much respect I'm a very harsh obsessive critic. I'd still reckon check it out if only to see for yourself. I can tell you though if you hated force awakens this is exactly the same shit! I am in japan yes. I'm a tokyo man though what's good in Osaka? There were a few giggles but only at visual jokes with CGI none of the verbal jokes Jon.
I like how you are able to point out logical inconsistencies off the cuff, which to me is a sign of an analytical mind -- harsh or otherwise. I'll save my money though, seeing as how 1800 yen is a pretty penny. Osaka's doing good! The economy is finally taking off around here, which was almost unthinkable as little as 3 or 4 years ago. I find that when the audience is around me is laughing and cheering, it tends to cloud my judgement -- but I don't get that here which is why I tend to be much more harsh in my criticisms of movies in Japan.
It seems to me that it started with tourism, but now everything is picking up: manufacturing, retail. I am a homeowner and property prices started increasing sometime in 2015 (Japan had basically been in deflation for over 20 years) and that has sparked more home-buying and conversely more home-selling and home-building in my area.
Holding for Hux, chucking the lightsaber over his shoulder, death of Snoke, stupid death of Luke, alien tit milk, Superman Leia floating through space, ship runs on fucking gas, no set up for nine, Snoke is a nobody, Rey is a nobody WTF did I just watch
the problem with the jokes is that even the weakest jokes seem to get polite laughter in any packed theater. half the reviews for this movie made it seem to be awesome, the other half that it was disappointing. after TFA and Rogue One I expected it would either be great or just mediocre. instead it was awful... I should have listened. now I get to at least enjoy a million like-minded reviews (and those critics must have been bought off, or they think "Star Wars" means no standards apply)
Just found you, spot on spot on. Just subscribed
Dude you are hilarious!! I agree with everything you said. I saw the movie and it sucks. I can’t believe Disney raped us like that. There were some good scenes but they were overshadowed with crap scenes. I didn’t care for Rose and the whole Finn/Rose subplot was utter shitwater. And Superman Leia? WHAT. THE. HELL.
Yeah Finn/Rose reminded me of the prequels!
Thanks for the comment Scott. Superman Leia yeah … and even Superman himself ain't as interesting as Batman because Batman can die at any moment and therefore there is drama and tension to his battles. You have to be vulnerable and relatable to be an interesting character. Rey? What the hell man, less charisma than one of those fucking alien penguins!
The cringeworthy humor and Superman Leia made me think I was watching a Marvel movie. WTF Rian and Disney!?!
The movie reminded of Looper (another Rian Johnsonn directed flick) in that it felt like it was trying to be more clever than it actually was.
In all honesty, I enjoyed it but it could have been so, so much better.
I feel the same and agree completely.
I don't understand how can people like ...this movie. It was completely handled badly.
IAmBlurryFace 1 k
"The weaponise gender." Hey that's pretty true!
40 years waiting on Luke and they make Luke a coward and he dies has a heart attack LOL
rmoreno94 they turned him into a crazy old homeless man wandering San Fran
Luke not died because of heart attack.. But he dies because of was so tired.. Hahaha
buttom line.. this movie was lazily written thanks to Kathleen kennedy
Excellent excellent excellent review!!!
Shapeshifterfilms False
you're right. This movie was complete shit. Someone wrote " well you can't expect Luke to fight a lightsaber battle cause he's an old man already" WTF??? 2 WORDS...COUNT DOOKU. Christopher Lee was like either late 70's or in his early 80's when he did the prequels and he had lightsaber scenes. plus with all CGI and effects I'm sure they could've done the same with Mark Hamill. that just tells me whoever said that MH was too old is not a Star Wars fan and has not seen the prequels. I am in disgust of Star Wars right now. I'm tired of hearing how this movie is great and we all know it isn't.
I know exactly how you feel man. TFW, disappointing. Rogue One. Disappointing. Yet there I am on opening night, hoping beyond hope that TLJ was going to make me love Star Wars again. I should've known better. The people making these new movies don't get what made SW great.
We are on exactly the same page Cormyat07.
cormyat07 What's funny is that alot of people don't know what made the original's great. It was definately alot more to do with Marcia Lucas than alot of us know.
Ah come one Rogue One wasn't bad.
Rogue One was watchable and had a good ending at least. I don't think it's a coincidence that much of the Rogue One story was conceived prior to the sale to Disney.
I actually consider Rogue One my favorite of the latest three. Granted, I've only seen any of the three just once and I'm not a fanboy. I don't see where all the hate comes from, maybe I'm only basing it on the last 30-45 minutes as well lol.
You're missing the point they need to get every man in this was treated like an idiot every woman is smart and confident and rational
Ray is it independent strong woman she don't need to be trained by no man I hate Disney
Thats what he was talking about making women superior to men thats the reason the movie failed big time! Let women buy all the StarWars toys from now on lets see how long SW will last lol
I fundamentally AGREE with everything you just said
Here’s why Luke killing Kylo makes zero sense: 1) the force future known to be wrong (empire strikes back) the only reason for it was to destroy Luke’s legacy and make Rey out to be the perfect Mary Sue she is