PRISON ARCHITECT IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - EVERYTHING IS BROKEN

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 13 янв 2025

Комментарии • 1,9 тыс.

  • @teamcyeborg
    @teamcyeborg 2 года назад +340

    I love how Spiff has two modes, either treating his workers like shit or having them live in the lap of luxury because there's a lower class to abuse

    • @anjetto1
      @anjetto1 2 года назад +18

      Well, he is british

    • @mtfgamma6257
      @mtfgamma6257 Год назад +8

      its the British way!

  • @ophidahlia1464
    @ophidahlia1464 2 года назад +174

    I feel like there's a legitimate and genuine critique of privatized prisons buried somewhere in these virtual shenanigans

  • @havardmj
    @havardmj 5 лет назад +2264

    Judge: "I sentence you to life in prison..."
    Me: "Oh no"
    Judge: "... designed by The Spiffing Brit"
    Me: "OH NO"

    • @mostcertainlynotmiguelprob4216
      @mostcertainlynotmiguelprob4216 5 лет назад +86

      Me: Takes cyanide pill
      Me: worth

    • @wanderingbufoon
      @wanderingbufoon 5 лет назад +196

      "You will be in prison for the rest of your life!"
      "So like 7 days then?"

    • @lordscrubugus9897
      @lordscrubugus9897 5 лет назад +49

      **commits deadly loss of health**

    • @Parker05
      @Parker05 5 лет назад +17

      wandering bufoon, that moment when your being sent to juvenile prison, but your parents and you are anti-vaccine. SO RELATABLE! 😂😂😂

    • @deeros100
      @deeros100 5 лет назад +32

      Honestly, prison for 1 day with Spiff is probably a death sentence.

  • @dieguy3080
    @dieguy3080 5 лет назад +353

    "Oh what a shame mr. Paul Sexton you're in here for false imprisonment." That'd be where I lost it.

    • @irrelevant_noob
      @irrelevant_noob 4 года назад +7

      Well that part (17:01) was nice, yeah, but for me to completely lose it i needed that night-time masterpiece at 26:12 xD

    • @shadowrosegaming3566
      @shadowrosegaming3566 3 года назад +1

      @@irrelevant_noob same

  • @R.T_Go_Your_Own_Way
    @R.T_Go_Your_Own_Way 5 лет назад +4249

    Spif is the type of person to solve world hunger with starvation

    • @TrueCarthaginian
      @TrueCarthaginian 5 лет назад +137

      ...a communist?

    • @darkcrafter346
      @darkcrafter346 5 лет назад +66

      It'sALLaLIE if u really think about it it is true,less people less hungry people

    • @WarDankEagle
      @WarDankEagle 5 лет назад +36

      /insert Irish potato famine joke

    • @charlesdarwin1564
      @charlesdarwin1564 5 лет назад +29

      It'sALLaLIE unpopular opinion: you could solve it and overpopulation with canabalism

    • @R.T_Go_Your_Own_Way
      @R.T_Go_Your_Own_Way 5 лет назад +35

      @@charlesdarwin1564 Lets play this game. Who would eat who?. Would the skinny people eat the obese ones, or will the obese ones eat the skinny people ?.

  • @kastles0
    @kastles0 3 года назад +151

    I love the fact that if you actually just dont build any prison cells the prisoners wont do anything, they'll just stand there, cuffed, unmoving, until they die

  • @PTB_BE
    @PTB_BE 5 лет назад +1483

    Prisoners: I want some beds
    Spiff:: oh really?
    Spiff: *makes prisoners live in the post modern nightmare of beds*

  • @KaneyoriHK
    @KaneyoriHK 5 лет назад +235

    Doctor takes a blood sample of spif, "How is this EVEN POSSIBLE? His blood is 75% Yorkshire tea, and 25% British Empire. It's too BRITISH!"

  • @mach2223
    @mach2223 5 лет назад +1094

    "I mean, most of them look dead to me, bur if we pump them full of electricity they'll move around enough for the inspectors to think they're prisoners"
    I am currently dying thank you very much

    • @Twisted_Code
      @Twisted_Code 5 лет назад +31

      Sounds like you also need to be electrically stimulated then! *bzzrrrrrt*
      Feeling better?
      okay then, moving on!

    • @cursedmailman3999
      @cursedmailman3999 3 года назад +1

      Just like the prisoners were

    • @randomincarnate5035
      @randomincarnate5035 3 года назад +4

      The prisinors aren't moving, let's motivate them with an eletric shock

  • @Skyblade12
    @Skyblade12 2 года назад +53

    "Any game with an economy is just a tycoon game in disguise." - The Spiffing Brit, probably

  • @javierrivera1586
    @javierrivera1586 5 лет назад +810

    “So apparently you explode into fountains of blood when you starve? I DONT REMEMBER THAT ONE”
    Spiff are you hiding something?

    • @tommyspringer3693
      @tommyspringer3693 5 лет назад +26

      FBI OPEN UP!

    • @phee4174
      @phee4174 5 лет назад +11

      @@tommyspringer3693 But he's British.

    • @li_ka2
      @li_ka2 5 лет назад +43

      @@phee4174 FBI = Federal British Intelligence

    • @phee4174
      @phee4174 5 лет назад +9

      @@li_ka2 Ah, That makes sense.

    • @mandowarrior123
      @mandowarrior123 5 лет назад +7

      @@phee4174 we aren't a federation.

  • @stereotypo3964
    @stereotypo3964 5 лет назад +441

    I really enjoyed this version of Fyre Fest Simulator. xD

    • @stgjavveling9807
      @stgjavveling9807 5 лет назад +4

      Stereotypo Ha!!

    • @bradenmorrison9834
      @bradenmorrison9834 4 года назад +5

      An actually funny original comment, well done lol

    • @JaredPiTrick
      @JaredPiTrick 4 года назад

      You misspelled Joe Arpaio simulator.

    • @SomeoneElse785
      @SomeoneElse785 3 года назад

      I you u to yum my o u pppppppppppp

    • @SomeoneElse785
      @SomeoneElse785 3 года назад

      @@stgjavveling9807 and I uyp have have to be at your p to him that is not what you y ok I’m I pop

  • @TheRambossss
    @TheRambossss 5 лет назад +574

    You mean Tea Plantation Simulator has a prision mode? Marvelous.

    • @robertnett9793
      @robertnett9793 5 лет назад +16

      It's obviously a Tea Plantation simulator AND City builder that has a prison mode. Really genious...

    • @Statusinator
      @Statusinator 5 лет назад +13

      This is actually the Stock Market Scam mode

    • @91743
      @91743 5 лет назад

      Did you mean the Prison Community Mod?

    • @slk7376
      @slk7376 5 лет назад +7

      Do you mean Australia mode?

    • @wilfredwilfred1730
      @wilfredwilfred1730 5 лет назад

      Yes but its still a bit shaky
      it doesnt really work and its clear that the game was made for tea an wood plantation tycoon and not a prison game.

  • @alexross1816
    @alexross1816 5 лет назад +1595

    "It turns out human beings actually require food."
    -Joseph Stalin

    • @Yo_Soy_Andres
      @Yo_Soy_Andres 5 лет назад +29

      @Maximus Brutus Well, yes. Communist tradition is more about shooting dissidents and their families, but uncle Ioseb give the Ukranians some good ol' british treatment.

    • @michaelotero3909
      @michaelotero3909 5 лет назад +17

      Andrés Barrios Churchill and the British purposely starved MILLIONS in India. And that’s only the people that died of starvation. Not to mention centuries of brutal colonial exploitation all around the world. BUT COMMIES R BAD rite???!?!?1!1!1

    • @Yo_Soy_Andres
      @Yo_Soy_Andres 5 лет назад +25

      @@michaelotero3909 Sure, let's forget about the Great Leap Forward and Holomodor

    • @youraverageteadrinker2744
      @youraverageteadrinker2744 5 лет назад +16

      @@Yo_Soy_Andres he just hates tea he must be a coffee lover . There disgusting.

    • @RoboPutinPresidentinCE
      @RoboPutinPresidentinCE 5 лет назад +20

      @@michaelotero3909 The difference is that Britishness isn't an Ideology.
      The Brits are a people and whatever queen Victoria or Chruchill did (i Hate them both btw) is out of personal gain, its an individual crime committed by the leader of an empire.
      Stalin justified it with his Ideology.

  • @oinktron8053
    @oinktron8053 5 лет назад +2481

    Did spiff just build a concentration camp?

    • @DoofAlmighty
      @DoofAlmighty 5 лет назад +366

      No, Its a ConcenTEAtion Camp

    • @ProfessorSyndicateFranklai
      @ProfessorSyndicateFranklai 5 лет назад +73

      You mean... a prison?

    • @haaly7245
      @haaly7245 5 лет назад +74

      @@thespiffingbrit You're not launching unsuspecting patrons from incomplete rides, so no.

    • @pilot1721
      @pilot1721 5 лет назад +55

      @@thespiffingbrit involuntary holiday park

    • @gamingkitsune1947
      @gamingkitsune1947 5 лет назад +38

      Permanent Vacation

  • @jimtalbott9535
    @jimtalbott9535 5 лет назад +574

    “Dark humor is like food - not everyone gets it.” - J. Stalin

    • @150booyadragon
      @150booyadragon 5 лет назад +6

      @Jean-Louis Bourgeois You sound American

    • @tasertag7513
      @tasertag7513 5 лет назад +13

      @Jean-Louis Bourgeois But communism-related jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

    • @Cookiette1
      @Cookiette1 5 лет назад +2

      @@tasertag7513 Can't argue with that

    • @Oblithian
      @Oblithian 4 года назад +7

      There are so many good starvation jokes!
      ...I hunger for more.

  • @thedrake5072
    @thedrake5072 5 лет назад +478

    A prison with 2000 bunk beads and no cells?
    ITS AUSTRALIA ALL OVER AGAIN!

    • @John_Ass
      @John_Ass 5 лет назад +5

      ouf

    • @mattizie91
      @mattizie91 5 лет назад +10

      @@tf-uderpy699
      I don't understand, what's the difference between the two?

    • @robertnett9793
      @robertnett9793 5 лет назад +11

      @@mattizie91: Many of the deadly animals were imported by the Brits for several reasons - first for sports hunting, then to get rid of the animals for sports, then to get rid of the animals they got to get rid of the animals they brought for sport and so on and so forth...

    • @tellmeninetails5819
      @tellmeninetails5819 5 лет назад +4

      @@robertnett9793 Not exactly right. The brits did import animals for hunting, but it wasn't that they where deadly it was that they where killing the native wildlife and where extrememly competitive which fucked everything up.

  • @GraySlicerAnimations
    @GraySlicerAnimations 2 года назад +124

    Someone should calculate how much prison time Spiff would get just for the crimes he committed in this video alone

    • @aidanwhite5631
      @aidanwhite5631 2 года назад +7

      life somewhere between 10 and 10000000000000000000000x over

    • @lorenztor1990
      @lorenztor1990 2 года назад +7

      The death sentence

    • @johnnythespent5660
      @johnnythespent5660 Год назад +3

      All of it.

    • @MadnessIncVP
      @MadnessIncVP 11 месяцев назад +2

      It’s 20 deaths at least, for the CEO to dangle the “anybody else dies, you’re toast!” carrot and stick, right? 10 years, for 25 deaths, so 0.4 years per death. You do the maths.

    • @Editor37_Or_Is_It....
      @Editor37_Or_Is_It.... 11 месяцев назад

      I know how much: Yes

  • @spudragaming8374
    @spudragaming8374 5 лет назад +180

    The bunk bed exploit can be improved even further! When you clone beds, you can stack them (have 1 tile use 2 halves of a bunk bed instead of 1). Also, instead of removing the whole Dormitory area, just remove the area where the toilet is placed, this way the dormitory still needs a toilet, thus isn't yet finished, meaning the beds don't increase the capacity.
    Cheers! And good luck making even more money in a shorter time span!

    • @Oblithian
      @Oblithian 4 года назад +6

      I need to bookmark this tutorial.
      Facillitate me RUclips

    • @Oblithian
      @Oblithian 4 года назад +9

      ...Of course, now that just sounds sexual.
      I am inside youtube presently.
      and now, with youtube content....
      there are so many prisoners waiting to enter
      and you just have to know...
      ...they won't come quietly.

    • @rulebritannia8438
      @rulebritannia8438 4 года назад +2

      @@Oblithian Innuendo
      Nice

  • @thestrongholdsociety
    @thestrongholdsociety 5 лет назад +288

    "yes we get 2000 **DOLLARS** from the queen herself"
    wait something doesnt seem *right* with that

    • @Nxluda
      @Nxluda 5 лет назад +21

      Obviously this prison is in America. Some prisoners are fat.

    • @ManJunk269
      @ManJunk269 4 года назад +6

      @SteelRodent I've noticed that. It's in $ then uses meters for sizes.

    • @yareyare_dechi
      @yareyare_dechi 4 года назад +7

      just pretend they are in Australia, Canada or New Zealand or something

    • @yareyare_dechi
      @yareyare_dechi 4 года назад +3

      @@DefectiveLotus wouldn't have it any other way. All these "republics" seem to be a shit show lately. Plus I'd miss seeing old Liz on my money

    • @charlescalthrop2535
      @charlescalthrop2535 3 года назад

      It would work if this is an Australian prison.

  • @AxelGame
    @AxelGame 5 лет назад +349

    - No Exploits
    - Everything is broken
    *sips tea in confusion*

    • @AxelGame
      @AxelGame 5 лет назад +13

      I might not understand what's going on, but at least I have *Yorkshire Tea - most probably the greatest tea I have sipped*

    • @livedandletdie
      @livedandletdie 5 лет назад +7

      Marvelous, the only thing that would be better than Yorkshire Tea, would be yet another cup of Yorkshire Tea.

    • @AxelGame
      @AxelGame 5 лет назад +5

      By the Queen! That sounds like a great idea

    • @tangytango9198
      @tangytango9198 5 лет назад +3

      To be fair several prisoners starving to death would make you lose the game if Brit enabled failure conditions. He doesn't seem to enable to extra stuff.

    • @boonies4u
      @boonies4u 5 лет назад

      @@tangytango9198 I'm pretty sure it's enabled by default. He would have disabled it.

  • @KieranBorovac
    @KieranBorovac 5 лет назад +124

    Oh dear, our prisoners are dying horrifically due to starvation and heatstroke. Alright, not to worry, I'll deal with it once I've finished these luxury executive offices with adjacent tea plantations.

    • @teddy-beargamer6385
      @teddy-beargamer6385 4 года назад +5

      Kieran Borovac Sounds pretty British to me.

    • @oreo1749
      @oreo1749 3 года назад +2

      @@teddy-beargamer6385 nah, sounds a lot like school.

  • @lutherburgsvik6849
    @lutherburgsvik6849 5 лет назад +182

    1:29 I'm aghast at this level of sacrilege: The Union Jack is on upside down!
    I must go and have a sit down, and compose myself with a cup of tea and a digestive biscuit.

    • @Novasky2007
      @Novasky2007 5 лет назад +15

      That sounds like a brit in distress Quick invert the Flag! Wait a second...

    • @lutherburgsvik6849
      @lutherburgsvik6849 5 лет назад +9

      @@Novasky2007 shh, keep your voice down! You'll give the game away! Don't tell anyone, but under this Swedish visage is really a bowler hat and Victorian moustache.

    • @SW-81
      @SW-81 5 лет назад

      How can you tell? Legit question, it looks like the flag is designed to be symmetrical. So I'm curious how you can tell.

    • @lutherburgsvik6849
      @lutherburgsvik6849 5 лет назад

      @@SW-81 basically the lower diagonal red line that closest to the flag pole should have a thicker white line *above* it, not below it. To be fair, it's easy to see how people make the mistake given it's seemingly symetrical design. Especially when it's compared to, say, the Welsh Dragon, or US Stars and Bars.
      Here's a graphic with bith the correct and incorrect way to fly the Union Jack:
      image.slidesharecdn.com/thebritishflag-151001224626-lva1-app6892/95/the-union-jack-16-638.jpg?cb=1443739974

  • @hanro50
    @hanro50 5 лет назад +42

    5:50
    Spiff, you actually got an easter egg. Namely you got one of the (previous) head devs in your containment facility

  • @MarushiaDark316
    @MarushiaDark316 5 лет назад +471

    Why is the Church of the Tea not built in the shape of a T?
    0/10, would not colonize.

    • @livedandletdie
      @livedandletdie 5 лет назад +26

      It should be built in the shape of a delicious cup of tea with a side of biscuits and a portrait of the Queen.

    • @jessegd6306
      @jessegd6306 5 лет назад +2

      Because then it'd be in the shape of a dick and let's face it, nobody wants a willy in their tea.

    • @sponge1234ify
      @sponge1234ify 5 лет назад +4

      @@jessegd6306 either that's one fancy T lettering, or those are weirdly and worryingly thin balls

    • @friedmule5403
      @friedmule5403 5 лет назад

      It's camouflage, in it's hart it is T-shaped. :-)

  • @loomhigh
    @loomhigh 4 года назад +87

    "in this video spiff accurately simulates the privatised prison system"

    • @Gfish17
      @Gfish17 4 года назад +1

      Entirely by Accident it appears

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 3 года назад +5

      Or the American public school system.

  • @giga-chicken
    @giga-chicken 5 лет назад +84

    I hadn't thought of that method of abusing the share system. I used to sell all my shares, take out a huge load, buy back my shares, and then pay off the loan. I liked that method because it made me felt like I was moving money around to cheat investors which sounds a lot like actual real life wall street.

  • @Alyxandeyr
    @Alyxandeyr 5 лет назад +15

    As a former correctional officer in a maximum security prison, I am 16 minutes into this video and completely stressed the hell out XD
    I love it, mate. Keep up the great work lol

    • @MadnessIncVP
      @MadnessIncVP 11 месяцев назад

      I mean, you’ll be used to being that kind of stressed, with how little you were paid.

  • @AnimatedStoriesWorldwide
    @AnimatedStoriesWorldwide 5 лет назад +329

    Perfectly good bodies...just given away ?
    Spiff, I would have thought that you, at least, would have understood the value of free organic, home-prepared, fertilizer...

    • @ShardtheWolf
      @ShardtheWolf 5 лет назад +51

      Organic:
      adjective
      To be full of organs

    • @robertnett9793
      @robertnett9793 5 лет назад +6

      @@ShardtheWolf: That bodies will be full of organs. At least for a while

    • @jynxed66six54
      @jynxed66six54 5 лет назад +11

      @@robertnett9793 i mean, those other inmates ARE pretty hungry

    • @sirarietichee7260
      @sirarietichee7260 5 лет назад +4

      If this was RimWorld, those dying prisoners would be worth millions in harvested organs.

  • @gamingsfinest3356
    @gamingsfinest3356 5 лет назад +12

    Hi Spliff. I been going through a really difficult time in life and whenever I play one of your videos I instantly feel better, your really helping me get through. Thank you.

  • @PrivateWillyRichardJohnson
    @PrivateWillyRichardJohnson 5 лет назад +102

    Hellllo there Spiff, I've herd of a perfectly balanced ability in Civ 6 as Hungary. Where you gain 2 envoys every time you levy a City-states army. And given how tradable Coal is in the game I figure you could make the sun once again never set on the Briti-(cough) Hungarian empire.

  • @uxbnkuribo
    @uxbnkuribo 5 лет назад +39

    Shareholder fraud + crimes against humanity, yup, it's a Spiffing Brit video!

  • @kiseki4947
    @kiseki4947 5 лет назад +336

    Hey Spiff, How many hours a week do you spend looking at stock images a week?
    Just curious...

    • @thetizzleforshizzle
      @thetizzleforshizzle 5 лет назад +3

      I've thought this same thing myself hahahaha

    • @HDTomo
      @HDTomo 5 лет назад +7

      No they're spiffco images

  • @Daisieheart
    @Daisieheart 5 лет назад +59

    "hey i was told to come here for imprisonment?"
    oh yes well actually we are closed, please go about your life until we are ready to open.
    "ummm okay???"

  • @GeorgTheGr8
    @GeorgTheGr8 5 лет назад +553

    It's a perfectly balanced game with no exploits.
    *_Just kidding, everything is broken_*

    • @porx
      @porx 5 лет назад +1

      Why do I see you in the comments of almost every video I watch ._.

    • @mardu5847
      @mardu5847 5 лет назад

      That is, in fact, the title of the video.

    • @jessegd6306
      @jessegd6306 5 лет назад +3

      It's a balanced exploits perfectly with no game.

  • @mcswagins8026
    @mcswagins8026 5 лет назад +13

    I can’t believe I genuinely just watched a guy build bunk beds for half an hour and actually enjoyed... now this is comedy

  • @AlchemyStillExists
    @AlchemyStillExists 5 лет назад +102

    I just found you in the past few weeks but you have become 1 of my top 5 Fav RUclipsrs

  • @Manikinator
    @Manikinator 2 года назад +10

    I actually got a hard laugh at this video. Really funny stuff. Share Fraud everywhere, and then hundreds of prisoners dying and nobody bats an eye. Made my day

  • @TheCrazyhusky
    @TheCrazyhusky 5 лет назад +31

    Spiff - "I won't be making tea plantation today."
    *literally 10 minutes later...*
    Spiff - "Look at us, it's day 7 and I'm growing a tea plantation."

  • @loganbrunzlow9294
    @loganbrunzlow9294 5 лет назад +44

    The government in this vid is just like “you know what it’s not ethical but it sure as hell works”

  • @Novasky2007
    @Novasky2007 5 лет назад +59

    Exploits game. Inadvertently sums up the british governments approach to the current housing crisis in the UK.

    • @Hoologramek
      @Hoologramek 5 лет назад

      So basically Brits exploited life?

  • @blippr8771
    @blippr8771 3 года назад +25

    You can tell he really loves England when he recreates the South Sea Bubble.

    • @evanstrong6239
      @evanstrong6239 2 года назад +1

      Man that was one of the weirdest things in history

    • @zacharytang3840
      @zacharytang3840 2 года назад

      It was walpole wasn’t it

  • @centurion9927
    @centurion9927 5 лет назад +164

    Technically you said no tea plantations *today* on day one and started planting them on day seven.

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame 5 лет назад +4

      You can't just go cold turkey on making tea plantations, you've got to take it slowly.

    • @VitorEmanuelOliver
      @VitorEmanuelOliver 4 года назад

      On the seventh day He rested

  • @krishnansubramoni7801
    @krishnansubramoni7801 5 лет назад +7

    That message at the end was really touching and beautiful.

  • @confusedasian2212
    @confusedasian2212 5 лет назад +180

    Spiff’s life is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits.

  • @camwyn256
    @camwyn256 5 лет назад +32

    Those prisoners never arrived at the jail. Must have been a mistake in the paper work

  • @bestshowontheweb
    @bestshowontheweb 5 лет назад +39

    Today's Episode: Spiff gets away with insider trading.

  • @Captiiva
    @Captiiva 5 лет назад +1

    28:39 The sound Spiffing Brit makes every day when he checks his subscriber count going up. Good work buddy, funny stuff.

  • @storymaster21
    @storymaster21 2 года назад +14

    Well now we need a battle.
    Spiff vs. a prison architect speedrunner and several other players; first to a billion wins.

  • @dogpixels
    @dogpixels 5 лет назад +4

    My like goes specifically to the addendum about the passed-away pet. Well said!

  • @jacobhu4431
    @jacobhu4431 5 лет назад +48

    Also, holy hell this channel grew fast, really, it feels like you barely had 50k yesterday...... they grow up so fast...

    • @SimonClarkstone
      @SimonClarkstone 5 лет назад +6

      RUclips is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits.

  • @Karl_Marksman
    @Karl_Marksman 5 лет назад +39

    "as we approach day six, the prisoners have been in here for almost 24 hours." what planet is this on

  • @Curseius
    @Curseius 5 лет назад +46

    26:27 i died at the lovely pattern of lights out there SEND HELP!

  • @darnight-lq2ht
    @darnight-lq2ht 2 года назад +5

    British government coming to see why all the prisoners are dying at such a rapid rate
    Sees the tea plantation
    British government: looks fine to me

  • @saysikerightnow3914
    @saysikerightnow3914 4 года назад +46

    Alternate Title Name: "How to use Insider Trading to Scam Investors in Prison Architect"

  • @_Kitetsu
    @_Kitetsu Год назад +1

    This is the very video that bought my sub. What that says about me we won't get into. Spiff gets me, this man cracks me up.
    Deaths? I see no deaths here, that's just spilled canned tomatoes. You may have an Italian spy lurking about over there.
    Although, Terrance was rather overwhelmed, I guess we can't blame him. Carry on you beautiful man. Carry on.

  • @Sebastian-yl7nq
    @Sebastian-yl7nq 5 лет назад +140

    _Wait?! Human beings need food?_
    *The USSR wants to know your location*

    • @gamingkitsune1947
      @gamingkitsune1947 5 лет назад +1

      I thought humans use synthesis

    • @mandowarrior123
      @mandowarrior123 5 лет назад +3

      Being genetically similar lysencko says women can give birth to livestock to feed the hungry.

    • @fluffyshabba6423
      @fluffyshabba6423 5 лет назад

      This is OUR food!

    • @paulsilagi4783
      @paulsilagi4783 5 лет назад +1

      *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* KGB OPEN UP!!! *Door immediately gets kicked down and a lot of KGB guys flood in*

    • @geofff.3343
      @geofff.3343 5 лет назад +3

      @@raptornugget5385 They also starved the Ukraine and had years of famine from failed agriculture policies.

  • @HippieInHeart
    @HippieInHeart 2 года назад +5

    so basically share price manipulation is the most efficient way to make money. amazing how realistic this game is. I never would have expected this.

  • @viniciuslambardozzi4358
    @viniciuslambardozzi4358 5 лет назад +17

    "The finest prison possible"
    *Shows a room that's better than my room*

  • @schitteindustries
    @schitteindustries 5 лет назад +8

    Securities fraud: check
    Next one up: Racketeering?
    Sent from my Schitte phone

  • @notadog4762
    @notadog4762 5 лет назад +30

    i dont think that guard could do it alone but if it were 100 stat man they would just accept their fate and give up on being disobedient

  • @eatablekolas7506
    @eatablekolas7506 5 лет назад +5

    Not gonna lie, when The Spiffing Brit told me to get a cup of tea, I glanced at the one I had already finished drinking.
    And so, I went to grab some more.

  • @ENCHANTMEN_
    @ENCHANTMEN_ 2 года назад +6

    I like how half the exploits are just committing fraud

  • @mischaprudon3316
    @mischaprudon3316 5 лет назад +13

    31:45 I know the feeling lost 2 of my cats in the last 4 weeks, it's now really quite in the house and that drove me almost mad for the first couple of days.

  • @christopherwilliams9675
    @christopherwilliams9675 5 лет назад +7

    You wouldn't be the first Brit to mess with share prices at this level

  • @frostebyte
    @frostebyte 2 года назад +1

    Excellent depiction of U.S. prisons thank you

  • @jekyllgaming99
    @jekyllgaming99 5 лет назад +6

    I'm sure the prison's accountant's gonna have a field day at the end of the year XD

  • @Halinn
    @Halinn 5 лет назад +1

    I quite enjoy the line of hearses just waiting for a guard to come load them up with bodies, not realizing that there are no guards.

  • @philipharris4230
    @philipharris4230 5 лет назад +4

    My first comment on RUclips ... ever ... so here it is : Thank you for this tutorial on the world common market ! simple, understandable and, above all : TERRIFYINGLY JOYFUL 3:D

  • @Berdersner
    @Berdersner 2 года назад +18

    Why does spiff turn any game that allows prisoners and farming into an Australia Simulator?

    • @katanah3195
      @katanah3195 11 месяцев назад +1

      Because he's British and that's what Brits do when given a bit of power.

  • @ZeLunatic
    @ZeLunatic 5 лет назад +7

    Hey! you had one of the head devs in your prison at 5:49 !! That's awesome!

  • @starshooter1668
    @starshooter1668 3 года назад +1

    fun fact: when spiff said that hes gonna build the finest prison and showed what seemed to be an hottel room, thats actually a prison cell from the oslo prison, search it up.

  • @alexnoya6910
    @alexnoya6910 5 лет назад +12

    "Ok so he needs to go to the toilet and some comfort"
    "HE WILL BE HAVING NONE OF THAT"

  • @gwenkulikins926
    @gwenkulikins926 3 года назад +10

    Welcome back Spiff!!! You were missed

  • @MrDuno9
    @MrDuno9 5 лет назад +29

    Brit: Starvation solves all of your troubles!
    Northern Ireland: hmmmmmmmmmmm

  • @ObeyCamp
    @ObeyCamp 5 лет назад +2

    You make our prisons here in the US seem like churches. The sun never sets on this spiffing prison empire.

  • @theycallmefilip
    @theycallmefilip 5 лет назад +7

    12:00 Spiff you backsliding tea-addict...

  • @Icymagoo
    @Icymagoo 5 лет назад +1

    I just watched some guy place bunk beds and starve people and definitely not build a concentration camp in the name of tea for a half hour... what a world we live in

  • @KitTheAnkafolk
    @KitTheAnkafolk 4 года назад +4

    I love Officer Terrance the lovable lil guy :3
    Love your vids Spiff

  • @alfreddrewes9362
    @alfreddrewes9362 4 года назад +2

    Me: So how many basic human rights do you want to violate?
    The Spiffing Brit: *YES*

  • @enochbooher6509
    @enochbooher6509 5 лет назад +4

    Spif: maybe you’ve already given the video a like
    Me: yes my subscriber senses told me this is a good one

  • @Zzucc
    @Zzucc 5 лет назад +2

    Prisoner:
    *No food*
    *Open doors*
    *No guards*
    *Constant construction just to taunt us*
    *"Instead of escape I guess I'll just die"*

  • @wanderingbufoon
    @wanderingbufoon 5 лет назад +4

    Little did spiff know, he was replaying the history of australia

  • @danielcahalan9881
    @danielcahalan9881 5 лет назад +1

    Spiff, this is my absolute favorite video, please do not ever movie this video. This right here is hilarious. I love it!

  • @WAZZA1235
    @WAZZA1235 5 лет назад +16

    "Make sure you have your warm cup of tea"
    Looks at table, sees coffee...
    Throws coffee in the trash (along with the mug)
    Prepares tea.

  • @dizzydizzy4704
    @dizzydizzy4704 4 года назад +1

    That was quite a wonderful insight into the tea production secrets.

  • @draconimus765
    @draconimus765 5 лет назад +15

    Hey spiff, what do you think of coffee?
    *spiff creates the church of tea so the priest will yell at people until they give in and drink tea*

  • @Wulfjager
    @Wulfjager 2 года назад +2

    Spiff learned the pro strat that the ottoman empire used in 1915. It's not mass murder if technically you're not killing them, starvation is. Your hands are clean

  • @thesaneone1
    @thesaneone1 4 года назад +9

    The greatest game of all: insider trading!

  • @TitanMorsche
    @TitanMorsche 5 лет назад

    You know. Between you, TearofGrace, and Birgirpall breaking everything and the commentary you all provide, i always have something to watch and listen to that lifts me a little. Thanks Spiff. And i may be american, but that black breakfast tea is good all day. XD

  • @ArdaCiftci1
    @ArdaCiftci1 5 лет назад +7

    *YESSS, MA BOI BE PLAYIN PRISON ARCHITECT!*

  • @GamerD00f
    @GamerD00f 5 лет назад +1

    Best thing about this channel while watching as an American, is laughing at the weird obsession with tea he has.
    Also hes funny as fuck and I love the overly British-ness of this channel. makes me want to get tea. With my cheeseburgers.
    'Murica!

  • @jobot0114
    @jobot0114 5 лет назад +43

    I petition to rebrand Prison Architect to the Playground of Tea-dom.
    Edit: As a side note, aren't Christians already Churches of the t?

    • @giin97
      @giin97 5 лет назад +1

      Oof.

    • @superpandaplaysmc
      @superpandaplaysmc 5 лет назад

      no they are the church of the T not the superior church of the t

    • @jobot0114
      @jobot0114 5 лет назад

      @@superpandaplaysmc They worship a cross, not a diagram of perpendicular lines.

  • @Nixonitus
    @Nixonitus 5 лет назад +2

    This is basically how real world government operations work.
    Good job.
    You invented graft.

  • @Bulkje
    @Bulkje 5 лет назад +6

    You can trust this brit to violate the geneva convention any day. XD

    • @robertnett9793
      @robertnett9793 5 лет назад

      Spiff never signed the Geneva Conventions. So it's basically not more as a well meant advise to him (which he ignores like a true artist)

  • @Nerdnumberone
    @Nerdnumberone 5 лет назад +1

    The worst part isn't denying the the prisoners food, sleep, water, and basic hygiene. The worst part is that he denied them tea while putting them next to a tea plantation.

  • @Cookiette1
    @Cookiette1 5 лет назад +3

    I was having emotional problems like depression and other shit detrimating to my mental health but this video gave me the idea to end it all so thank you for the help. I couldn't've done this without your advice.

  • @stonemove4207
    @stonemove4207 5 лет назад

    Man i have come to your video totally randomly and i really enjoy em ! especially the one with the sims 4 guy forcing himself into families, lmao i laughed my ass there ! subbed all the way !!

  • @LeoStaley
    @LeoStaley 4 года назад +3

    Spiffing Brit hacking the stock market before reddit made it cool.

  • @seshthreepio
    @seshthreepio 5 лет назад

    I built a prison that was almost completely outdoors once.. Outdoor showers, beds, shitters.. the only indoor “cells” were 2x1 solitary units, one for every inmate.
    It makes a hell of a lot of money. Plus when you have dogs on patrol and Metal detectors in every door way, tunnels/escapees are never a problem.