Why Men Get Blindsided by Divorce - Saboor’s Story
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- Опубликовано: 7 июл 2024
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How to Properly Lead Conversations to open Up & Heal Your Partner’s Emotions
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INITIAL SITUATION
00:00 - Why this is a CRUCIAL interview
00:36 - His hopeless & dire initial situation (already divorced & blindly toxic)
02:44 - Why most men aren’t as high-value as they think & why most men are so blind to their toxicity & relationship issues
11:48 - Why she feels HOPELESS
12:42 - Upset that partner isn’t trying to save marriage? Watch this…
LEARNING LESSONS (PART 1)
19:04 - #1: Why safety issues is difficult to spot & to create
EXPERIENCE IN THE PROGRAM (PART 1)
21:08 - I could BARELY afford the program
HOW THINGS ARE NOW
22:26 - How things are like now (Beyond my wildest expectations)
EXPERIENCE IN THE PROGRAM (PART 2)
26:36 - How this program literally saved my life
32:10 - I thought this program was a scam & too good to be true
40:18 - Comparing program vs. couples & individual therapy
42:24 - Geoffrey, why is your program so expensive?
LEARNING LESSONS (PART 2)
48:22 - #2: How “high-value men” subconsciously destroy relationships & how to make her BELIEVE your changes & value
56:58 - #3: Why Having NO / ZERO Contact is Actually a Massive Opportunity!
1:01:42 - #4: This is what it actually takes to save your marriage
1:04:24 - #5: Identity shifting - The secret ingredient behind rich, fulfilling & successful relationships
1:14:34 - #6: The #1 secret to GUARANTEE real reconciliation & why you can’t escape the work of self-growth
1:29:12- #7: Why most men fail to reconcile despite trying hard (Blaming people vs. blaming systems)
1:34:56 - #8: Are you PISSED that partner is having an affair? Watch this…
WANT TO APPLY FOR THE PROGRAM?
1:47:28 - Want to Apply for the Relationships Revival Program?
1:49:30 - Saboor’s final advice for people early in the process of reconciliation
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCTSSAAHDS
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🎉 To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Hey Geoffrey,
Is everything okay? You weren't able to post on Sunday. I hope you're fine.
@@Nuez234 Yup! Just giving my team and myself their first Thanksgiving break tp spend more time with family :)
@@GeoffreySetiawan Alright. That's great. I believe time with family was fun. We did miss you. Glad you and team is alright.
Hi, Saboor here!
Nearly 2 hours of interview time wasnt enough to cover all the nuances. There was so much more I wanted to say!
For anyone reading this, feel free to ask me quesrions and I'll answer as best as I can.
Haha, be careful. Lol. You may get a ton of people reaching out.
I thoroughly enjoyed our interview, and having you as a client has been an honor. :)
Hi saboor How do you make yourself be able to pull off an identity shift and break through the rigidity
Hi saboor, I really am on the verge of seeing if Geoffrey would let me join the programme.
My emotions are being pulled left and right at the moment.
My wife is still talking to me.
Unfortunately today I found out that my wife is seeing someone that she works with.
I feel very confident that she wants me to be a better person as she still wants to do things together, we don't argue but for me and for her I really want to join the programme and make myself a million times a better person!
Sell it to me please. Do you think you have learned a million times more from the programme than just from the videos alone!
In my head I sat I can do this from geoffreys amazing videos yet I keep telling myself I can't be a million times more without the programme.
Thanks
@pooferllama I'm in a similar situation. How long were you married before all this started to happen?
@@junedog65We were married for 4+ years.
These interviews are keeping the love alive!
Glad you are enjoying them, Maanaan. BTW - Jason has some good notes regarding your application process. :)
Thank you for these interviews. I have been working through recovery for a sex/porn addiction and my wife is at the end of her rope. I have been continuing to struggle with being honest, even about minor issues. I could never tell her when I was struggling but I know she needs me to be. Even though she wants to finalize the divorce that has been pending for a few months, Saboor's interview gives me hope that divorce or even being in separate states isn't a total death sentence. I want to be the husband she deserves.
Fast food for a week. Ask the lord Jesus to deliver you and he will. That is your solution.
Geoffrey the moment you explained the you and your partner vs the problem approach you use...🤯.
That is gold right there. I now have a deeper understanding and a massive tool to handle challenges.
Add the frameworks to this and boom emotional safety fireworks 🎆.
This was a great interview. I have 2 pages of notes from this one, truly amazing and helpful content here!!!
Geoffrey, I would love to see more client interviews explaining how the changes took place when they started interacting again, or like that live coaching call that you had. Just to demonstrate the process a little further, to contexiualize it more. Would be so awesome!
There is no secret to that. They just started interacting. The important part is they are now interacting as someone has made the internal shifts.
I know you want to know what they said or what they did and are looking to see the tactics, but that is just it. There are no tactics. My clients learn to think with the right mindsets and make internal shifts, which allows them to lead every conversation that builds safety. They are just themselves.
i never thought of that angle and yes i think you are right. I was being discarded and for the last few months i was dwelling with pain and honestly hatred. I have many friends who i consulted sided with my side and basically putting my ex as pretty much ungrateful for my financial support. thanks to you i got to see the angle from her side. I have absolutely no idea whether i should even be chasing her back or not but one thing for sure... i will be a better, more aggressive version of myself regardless. need to me more thoughtful as she only has one life as well. thanks
Great interview as always . Could you maybe do a video on autosuggestions aswell some day . Would love it thanks !
Im from a poor country. Unfertunetly i can not affort to join the program. I try to make the changes and get to reconcyliation just by watching the you tube videos. Is it posible to do that? I know is not fair to Geoffrey to ask this question but i have no other option. Please dont get me wrong. Any opinion or information can be helpful for me. Thank you Geoffrey thank you very much.
Honestly, you shouldn’t need the course to make important steps. Plenty of good, free resources available, and take the time to truly take those in, read the books on what you’d like advice on.
The North Korea reference makes so much sense, thanks guys. Lifechanging stuff.
One takeaway is no matter what society says, men and women are built different mentally. Men do things and women have things done to them… the reverse is never an issue..
Have you ever challenge that views or not because it is feel right to you?
I haven’t been kicked out but my partners cat died after 19 yrs and then all this happened. I know what part I played and why, I am trying to untether joining the masterclass today.
Did you start the program? Curious of your results to date as I'm strongly considering going for it on this program.
Nice video brother
I got with my girlfriend at 15. We have been together 12 years. Had kids very young. I cheated when we were kids. Shes left me for someone else before. She came back and we still had problems and basically covered up the pain we caused each other. Fast forward 7 years later from that, she ended it "for good". I spent our 13 year anniversary alone. It's been like five months since she hit me with it. Claims she doesn't love me anymore in a way you should for a forever person. Says she never really got over the past. We have too much damage in our relationship. The list went on. Feels like she truly won't be happy if she stays..I currently still live in the house with her and co parent. Should I move out? She said she wouldn't mind if I stay through the holidays. Doesn't want to have kids remember this every holiday. I get it. Shes not seeing anyone but I feel like she definitely wants to. It's too expensive to rent so I'd have to buy but if I go and buy a house will I finalize this myself?? Such a commitment and I don't know if it'll just make her think that there's no way she can come back now. Idk any thoughts?
Bud this is almost my exact same situation except we got together when we’re 20 and have been together 15yrs mine is all over the place though saying the same things I can stay through the holidays then the next day reminiscing on old times and even being intimate to the next day back to being cold and over it I was told she wanted a lifestyle change bc we no longer do anything fun it’s a mess and I feel for u bud keep ur head up and keep pushing
Man exactly... She'll want to be intimate and even drop things like, we need this for the house or even mention future plans. But then it's back to being cold and not speaking at all and out every weekend. Idk. My head always thinks the worst and goes places I wish it didn't. It is a huge mess.
@@joemama_99well it sucks but it’s nice to know that others are in the same boat bc sometimes it feels like I’m on a island by myself my game plan is to take more charge plan and being a little more assertive I got in a rut and let her plan every aspect of our life and would always joke I go where she tells me I think women or atleast mine needs me to lead more and definitely listen better bc I did the same thing this dude on this video did she would come to me with a problem and I would down play it all we can do as men is admit out shortcomings and try to implement and improve ourselves day by day and the cards will fall where they fall
Move out and join The real world and then get to work
I don’t know your whole situation or internal dynamic but one thing Jeffrey stresses is that a main reason a partner feels it won’t work is because the barriers or problems are too large. But really they just feel like they can’t talk it out. What pushed my partner away was I tried to solve everything and analyze every interaction. I feel you should stay in her life in a capacity she is comfortable with, let her come to you as the pillar she needs you to be. I’d honestly just say to her one day “hey I’m sorry for creating an emotionally unsafe environment, I understand you need time to process things. In the meanwhile I will work on myself, let me know if you’d like to talk” (verbatim what Jeffrey says in an older video). Then on a day to day just accept the SMALL concessions she makes towards that, 5min Oneday, 2 minutes the next, 10min the next. You can’t convince her to fight but you can show her the bridge towards working things out isn’t impossible to mend and let the connection you’ve built over the years silently show its colours. I feel over the years the bad and overwhelming hopeless feelings has made things “muddy” for her, let things settle and be the man you really need to be in these moments
The hard part is what we (will) do wrong, because our mind been trained what we (will) do right, from our forefathers. Can you post more about anti-thetic mind videos more? because iirc there is only one video about it. Thanks for uploading this jeff.
I appreciate your feedback. I already have some videos on this topic; however, I will put this suggestion in my future content folder. :)
If we do not train ourselves to be more antithetic, we will always focus on what we are doing right and not what we are getting wrong, preventing ourselves from growing to new levels.
On a side note, can you think of some things that have caused you to react poorly when thinking hypothetically? Versus, if you trained yourself to develop an antithetical mind, you would have responded better, yielding a better outcome.
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thats a very good question, at the moment i think fundamental attribution error or self comfirmation bias cause our emotional wheel to starts spins due to lacks of validation made us reacting poorly and not responding well, and our poor reaction made the person we interact with feel emotionally invalidated and yet subconsciously we validate their self comfirmation bias about us as well thus chain poor reactions cycle.
i mean, we have been trained to think hypothetetically, to do and to feel what is right to us. So if our 'core' way threatened by unknown it is lead us to be defensive and have poor reactions.
i am not yet fully understand, developed and explored as an antithetic person. i cant answer fully that. That's way iam asking more videos about them
if i was wrong, can you give me your feedback on this?
I'm really interested in joining this course but sadly I can't afford it right now. Does anyone have any book recommendations that covers similar material, or theories/references that are integrated into this program?
My girlfriend did this invalidation of concerns
Eventually you give up
Map -> 01:16:10
Competition vs. Team -> 01:30:00
You are right, I suck.
Hi, can you please make a video about how to prevent being in a friend zone situation with your ex?
Too easy
Did you see her
Did you hear her
Did you listen to her
Did you treat her with respect
Did you meet her physical/emotional needs
Did you provide a safe environment
Did you communicate with her
Did you show her empathy
Did you show her compassion
Did you do those little things daily that she loves
And on and on and on
You were blind and couldn’t see
You were deaf and couldn’t hear
She tried for,years to,tell you and you ignored her and so she gave up
I wanna fix things between my gf i cheat through a text message amd ruined it but theres more to why she broke up listening and the way i handled the relationship
Can you please make a video of a Mental map check after phase 01... atleast some basic evaluation of self.. I understand that this is the course content... but it would be also helpful for us who couldnt affor the complete course. Hoping for a positive response. @GeoffreySetiawan
There’s nothing wrong with wanting out of a relationship but to excuse the infidelity because somehow you didn’t create a 10x whatever, then you don’t have any morals…. You can end the relationship before you get to do all that nonsense. An affair or infidelity is always on the person who did the betrayal… we can agree to disagree. Black is black and white is white. Accountability is both ways… most people who have been cheated on are not delusional to think they were perfect.