Listening to these brothas stories about their marriages & healing after a divorce was very therapeutic to me.. cause I’m currently separated from my wife & in the process of divorce
It’s rough so rough that a lot of men just aren’t getting married anymore, typically the woman gains a lot of weight after marriage anyways. Furthermore men lose their independence and agency when it comes to their finances they become legally entangled with a human being that is literally a walking talking toddler of emotional tantrums. We can all sit around the fire and bullshit ourselves if that’s not the case, but unfortunately we live in a thing called reality and it is the case.
That’s my cousin Joey in this video. He’s a great guy! I’m so hurt by his divorce and separation, but he’s definitely a great guy. I know there are more Joeys in the world, great podcast!
I got divorced after 30 years of marriage. It sent me into a depression it took me two years to get well. Thankful and grateful that I’m able to eat and sleep regular again I do public speaking relating to reentry, but now my public speaking includes depression among men that we need to speak up and ask for help.🙏🏾
I went through a lot of financial crisis after my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college,just hope it encourages someone that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any of them right now, you can start TODAY regardless your age INVEST and change your future! Investing is a grand choice I made. Great video! Thanks for sharing!😊
I strongly recommend Regina Louise Collaro, a reputable US-based financial advisor and consultant. Through her collaboration with an international organization, she has provided invaluable guidance and support on my financial journey until I reach my goals. Choosing the right financial consultant is vital, akin to finding the ideal life partner, as both profoundly influence your life's direction. I am thankful to have found such an excellent financial consultant who has aided me in accomplishing my financial goals, spanning from education to nearing retirement.
It's surprising to come across Regina Louise Collaro's name here. I've always been uncertain about hiring an investment advisor. Just to clarify, I began collaborating with Regina in 2019. She oversees around 70% of my investments, leaving me with the remaining 30%. My stance has always been that I prioritize my own finances, but she has convinced me of her extensive knowledge regarding present circumstances and upcoming trend
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
This episode was something I needed to hear, I went through a divorce and I have not had anyone to really talk to about the struggle I had to battle with alone, but listening really helped. I appreciate it. God bless
I'm going through one now In the same boat ,I got married early and my friends can't advise me or anything Shit wack but it's life and life goes on. Good luck and God bless!
Love this uncommon perspective. We don't hear from men enough on this subject and it's so important. To the gentleman who was married 3 times, I could so sympathize. I married 3 times as well and felt so confused and disappointed in myself at first and then got some great counseling for just ME and it was life changing. It's no one persons fault ...it's our rearing end experience combined with the same for our partners. I've tried to find good from it all by teaching my children and others to understand yourself first or your relationship can't succeed. Our parents didn't understand this, weren't taught this and we now hope it gets a little better with every generation
Fellas, first of all, thank you for making me laugh out loud for the first time since we decided to split. Age 51 divorce number 2 after 16 years and so many things I heard resonate. Thank you for speaking out. Your experiences are helping others.
What a beautiful message. I have never been married (by choice), but went through a devastating custody battle. Finally won after 7 long years and financial devastation. But it was worth it. I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if we were married. So many of my friends have been devistated by divorces they did not want. Thanks for sharing fellas.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
This really was a great exchange between men...love to see you three continue doing shows and speaking the real! Real men. Real emotions. Real life. Real feedback. This is good!
Im in the same situation married for 24yrs and together for 28yrs just got a divorce 5 months ago men dont have a support group we kinda deal with it in silence its hard but i pray for strength every night hope oneday me and my exwife can reconcile
Joey has not aged at all (and good for him for staying true to himself and God). Great conversation DocReid! Love the transparency and honesty. Now you have to do one with women! This was good.
This was sooo heartfelt listening to, especially being an 26 year old male being raised by a single mother of 6 kids, and now dealing with a brake up with a woman that I have two young beautiful children with that I wanted to be my wife and partner… was raised with just a mother figure that wasn’t always home! I’m dealing with finding my identity while still trying to be a man that I never seen growing up… I’m fully accountable with the mistakes that I have made… but it seems to be no common ground. Please if any of you guys can reach out to a young black male that is fully invested into his relationship and strongly wants it to work, I would definitely appreciate it! First time checking out this podcast! And I loved every second of it! Keep going young kings ❤️
I would absolutely love to come on and tell my story of personal development and how it will destroy relationships thinking you will fix it but once you find the true you a lot of relationships you think it’ll fix it actually shatters because you became the real true authentic you
Damn, I'm so sorry I'm going through it, it's mentally alot to deal with. Women have alot more support than men, they have the judicial system, they have social media, my family members that betrayed me picking a side. Men feel isolated, and feel hopeless. It's horrible that a person you once loved, and shared everything you had. How could anyone you so deeply trusted be so evil to wanna take everything from you inorder to destroy you. 😢😮
@@anthonyetrade7486 Most women are evil.. join a men’s group or find a therapist, hit the gym.. kick ass.. try to focus on your future. Don’t look back. Regain your power.
I’m separated from my husband right now. I made many mistakes through our short term marriage. We been married for going on 2 years. I haven’t watched this video but I got on the comments and I think it’s crazy how people are saying that divorce is crazy. I til this moment, I wish I would of done things differently, I’m working on myself for me and my son but there’s nothing in this world that I want most than to be back at home with my husband. He’s such a great human being. I don’t know why I didn’t take care of him how I was supposed to. Hurts my heart. But I hope one day he can forgive me and we can get back together. I don’t want to divorce because I know he’s the love of my life. So if you’re going through a divorce… don’t do it. Pray, work on yourself and hopefully yall can make it work. That’s my wish right now 🙏🏽
Good luck to you and go to marriage therapy (not the preacher). I think it has something to do with your past or childhood. I pray y'all reunite together again. Be honest when talking. There's light but don't wait too late. At least you know your the problem. Give me an update btw I'm not married, no kids, no relationship...I wish I was though
We went to 3-4 counselors in my second marriage. I was angry because she was very disrespectful. I moved in the house with her. Provided for her and her daughter and my son and we had a daughter together. She never appreciated me. But had the nerve to file a divorce. Throughout our problems , I still loved this woman! I need to start to get over her. We've been divorced 5 months I still think about her daily.
@@stanmoney8470 i do understand...if she was that bad why would you think about her?She doesnt seem like she is worth that. You are aware that you have to choose a woman right? You would not be your woman if you didnt pick her. Therefore, just get to know yourself and choose better next time. Simple
Please, bro, go to the bar, but don’t drink don’t smoke just go dress nice and chitchat and you will find there so many more fish in the sea but trust me don’t drink then you don’t have to deal with the hangover or any embarrassing situations and you can be in that mother every nightjust chitchatting with young beautiful ladies
I love this conversation, I have a handful of guy, friends, and I hear this so much, we don’t realize how our actions as women, affect the way a man feels, whether in marriage, or dating.
This was really good and refreshing. These are conversations that should be had more often to encourage men to show more vulnerability. I really feel this will Bless so many people.
I'm so thankful to run into this podcast episode. I'm going through the divorce process 2 years of marriage. It's tough recovering from betrayal your spouse became your biggest enemy, the lawyers fees are insane I just keep praying that there's a light at the end of this dark road, any man going through this, get your mind right go to the gym, and just pray you'll feel isolated, if your not disciplined mentally it will destroy you. Keep strong all the men going through this
Love Love Love this! I've known Joey for a long time...GREAT GUY!!! Of course I hate to see any marriage end (been there a few times myself), however, at the end of the day, when you've done all you know to do and THEN SOME, stress kills and so you have to do what's best for you. KUDOS to both these brothers for their true and authentic transparency and KUDO to you Doc for bringing this to the forefront for so many who are having challenges with "moving on" from what was supposed to be "forever..." THANK YOU!!!
Great discussion, my brothers, I just divorced in December 2023 after 22 years of marriage. Some of your experiences were so familiar. It is always encouraging to know that you aren't alone in this space of the road to healing after divorce.
After hearing these brothers I realize I wasn’t ready for marriage and the woman I married wasn’t right for me either we are too different we are aligned in the spirit but we are not good for each other in the flesh so now we are heading to divorce and we have to learn to be excellent parents.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
Awww I remember Joey from back in the day as a TC in Upward Bound. Praying for him as heals. Such a great upstanding guy. Appreciate his vulnerability and honesty. It takes courage. Glad he has support of friends.🙏🏿
Thank you guys for opening up and sharing your stories. This was so helpful to understand a glimpse into what men go through as well. Keep em coming, I’ll tune in! ❤🎉
Thank you, thank you, thank you to each of you gentlemen for being vulnerable and sharing your personal experience with us! I gotten so much out of the video and I haven't finished watching it in its entirety yet (lol) I had to stop and comment. So don't be surprised if you see several more comments from me as I finish watching this video 😁. First and foremost, thank you for allowing us to see the vulnerable side of a man. We (women) need to see your vulnerable side. It is a reminder to us that you are human and are equally worthy and deserving of being treated with love, respect and kindness. Second, the gentleman who stated "if he had known then what he knows now," in regards to the red-flag question, he summed up my experience to a T. I didn't know the behaviors my then boyfriend/fiance' was displaying were indicators of major issues to come. I honestly believed that since we both chose to marry, we were both willing to do what was necessary to make our marriage a success. Boy, was I wrong! For example, we participated in a group pre-maritial counseling course and during one of the sessions I was in tears. He was refusing to participating and had done something during the course that resulted in me crying. I distinctly remember the counseling instructor looking at us both, I thought he would have spent time to help coach us through what had just happened, but he looked just as confused as I was and turned his attention to the other couples in the room. Looking back on things now, his behavior during the counseling sessions, remained consistent throughout our marriage of 20 years (Yeah, I held on to hope for a loooong time). My former spouse wanted everything that marriage brought - a good wife and a good life... he just didn't want to have to reciprocate.
Amazing insight on men healing after divorce, great food for the soul. Divorce and the brokenness that comes along with it is tough, but we overcome it all and get to a better side of it. I was married 17 years & have been divorced 20 years and I know all too well, but I am so much better and loving the single life that I have chosen for myself. Dating is too much these days & my time is too valuable to play.
After two times , I'm scared to trust a woman in marriage! There so unloyal! Second wife I was willing to keep trying but she filed divorce! Unloyal as hell! Always thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
That is a valid fear and one that is prevelant in society. Loyalty is a beautiful trait and one that can not be forced upon others. One of the tips I give to my brothers is to always show up as authentic as possible in the first month of dating women. Be expressive about your desires and what makes you feel valuable. Communication skills are something that I think can empower men as a way to vet out the sour grapes from the sweet grapes. Keep going sir, " time and chance" will make room for us all.
The longer it takes a man to understand she's gone and she ain't coming back the worse it is for the man. She's gone and she don't care so you can either accept reality or wallow in self pity. Either way she's not coming back. Deal with it and move on. It's your choice. However keep in mind guys the tables may be in her favor right now but eventually they will turn in your favor, they always do especially when you find another woman.
Hi Joey, I look forward to your healing soon. I'm so sorry that you were hurt like this. Please don't give up on love. We are made to love and beloved. We love you and thank you for your frankness. ❤
I need a "Joey" in my Life! No disrespect of course, but this is the type of Man that "I" always needed in my life. We would have still been married. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way for me. Having been divorced and separated since 2003 after my son, I realized that I did everything possible to save my marriage. I just kept faith and prayer in my life and got through it. I had a thriving career at the time and have excelled. There is still something missing. I haven't remarried since. There are "Slim Pickings" out here. Hahaha, and I can laugh about it. Thank you, guys, for creating this video! It gives us women your perspective on divorce and what you are going through. I have subscribed to your channel Doc and will continue to listen in.
My question is how do you know that you are healed enough to fall in love again or even get married if you ever do? Some men never get over it and then remarry but it goes down the drain.
Heeey Joey! You seem so sweet❤. The way you condtioned yourself was great. You didnt know how to choose, most of us didnt learn how to choose. But Im proud of you and your progress.
#1) pre-marital counseling with pastors seem to be useless. #2) church definitely did a lot of us a disservice with the lack of dating/marriage preparedness
Going through divorce is by far the toughest thing ever, I’m going through it, I’m suffering it. I’m sleeping it out. I honestly don’t know what and how to feel. I try talking to my friends, but surely every single conversation I have with them can’t be about me and what am I going through. I can hang out with them but later whenever I get home, what am I supposed to do? I want to work out on get jacked up out of the pain, but I don’t feel like I can do it because the depression takes over me. My body can, but my mind just can’t seem to convince my body. I know I will. But I have to bear with myself. Going through a divorce is just not the easiest thing do go through. I’ll move out of my city. Been thinking about moving out of the country, but the way I feel doesn’t allow me to see past my desire of moving out. It’s a fucked up feeling. I just hope I’m able to bounce back. It’s a lot of fishes in the sea.
Hey there mate...i got officially divorced (signed papers) 3 days ago but i was served with papers last year October 2022, so unofficially I've been divorce for a year at least. I can relate to your pain, just know that you'll be alright. It's tough🤦🏾, and you'll grieve but you'll be alright. Keep busy, pick up a hobby, it will help keep your mind on positive things.
I was married twice faithful both times, after twice why be faithful? For what? I swear they take your faithfulness for granted. They think your weak for being faithful it's crazy!!!
Doc Reid, Joey and Charles. Thank you for sharing your experiences in a very transparent, authentic and open way. I understand there may be a second segment. In the next segment, will you answer a few of questions. Did you ask your wife how she needed you to show or express love? Did she value the same things you valued in a marriage? What was her love language and did you love her in this manner? It appears you both had an idea of marriage, and approached it based on your needs and wants. Did you truly consider her needs and wants? I appreciate you all’s perspective and I am looking forward to the next segment.
This has been a revealing episode for me. Sometimes we as men don’t want to open up completely to your friends and family because you don’t want them to treat your spouse differently. Thanks fellas for being real and open.
All too often, we don’t hear a males perspective, unless they are trying to connect with someone new. The forum you have created allows insight into the emotions/pain the men experience too. Great topic. I appreciate their candor. Thank you! Ps. Why Pooh hiding behind the shades?
I'm currently going threw a divorce now married 5 years 3 kids together and I just don't know these days sometimes I think I'm happy and then I'm not I just hope either time I can get over this since of being alone after she relocated the kids to another state I'm ok with losing the marriage but how do I get over being a long distance father just need some help because I'm still down about that but this video helps a lot thanks guys
"Doc" Reid and Joey are two of the greatest brothas on this planet! Love these guys! Shout out to my fellow WSU college-mates! Ok, I digress...lol. Awesome and insightful video, Reid! Thank you for your contribution, Gentlemen! Joey!! Wassup, man!! -Trever
I had a married couple confined in me telling me once they had kids it wrecked the relationship between the two. I have heard this secretly from a few. I think, marriage without kids should be a topic and seen as a choice more. Lots of marriages would be saved. Just a thought
Its hard and after the second unwanted divorce. I have to say it pretty much destroyed me. My trust having two cheaters and dating two different women that were and ended up being cheaters I gave up. A man just have to give up to much. Women just come out on the winning end. She can get laid every night of the week if she chooses. It costs them nothing to date. We men have to pay for dates and its not our choice if there is a relationship.
That's why i am glad a muslim. No dating allowed or sex before marriage. It makes the playing field fair for both genders. And a woman isn't allowed to divorce her husband without GOOD REASON or else her chance going to paradise will be at jeopardy. To have a wife for a man in Islam, you must pay all the bills and not require her to pay anything revolving the housing, food, clothing. Islam is a game changer if you want peace of mind. You will have to stop the clubbing, alcohol, smoking, pork meat also. It's a way of life system that protects you from bad elements.
I don't know why we don't watch the elders. A lot of them laid the examples but we ignore.Some of the elders have been married for twenty-five and fifty years. Just ask them if they're happy all the time. No one is always happy in a marriage. And people get divorced because they're not happy my God! Get get Happy by working on it. Ask your love one this makes me unhappy. What can you do to help.
We need to date for years with out sex.Know the families and history of our potential partners, personalities ,etc. Not to forget learning and understanding ourselves and families. Appreciate the mature out put from them gentlemen . Be blessed
That brother needed to know what his wife's love languages were. I dont think she wanted diamond rings... I think she liked experiences and words of Affirmations perhaps...
That bald head man gonna have a whole lotta women clicking to him lol. I can tell he honesty does have a sweetheart but he not healed an definitely still hurting because I hear it n see it n his voice but u lose some u win some I guess
Funny little anadote BM and I 1st we're leaving a bar and grill. The radio is playing the song. What cha see is what cha get. All I was seeing is the you know what. However I had a great friendship with her we went way to fast into life.
I'm still trying to figure out as a man what are the benefits to getting married? The only real argument imo is spiritual. In today's culture, how can a man depend on a woman to be there with him for life? Women are hypergamous. They will find the bigger better deal when it comes along. Not being pessimistic either from what I observe this is an accurate assessment
The benefit is to have a partner to do and share life with. Marriage is not for people who do not have a certain character. And it’s a character builder. If you really want to find out if you’re a good person, marriage will reveal it. Being able to love someone because…and love them in spite of… is what it’s all about. Why grow old without a partner that’s going to feed your or wipe your butt when the time comes. But again, not everyone is built for that type of friendship, companionship, and unconditional love. So if you can find that person, the benefits are infinite. There are more women willing to stick and stay than not, trust and believe.
Listening to these brothas stories about their marriages & healing after a divorce was very therapeutic to me.. cause I’m currently separated from my wife & in the process of divorce
Yes ,but after separation feeling lonely 😢
Same here im going thru a divorce right now. I asked for it and its tearing me UP right now!
It’s rough so rough that a lot of men just aren’t getting married anymore, typically the woman gains a lot of weight after marriage anyways. Furthermore men lose their independence and agency when it comes to their finances they become legally entangled with a human being that is literally a walking talking toddler of emotional tantrums. We can all sit around the fire and bullshit ourselves if that’s not the case, but unfortunately we live in a thing called reality and it is the case.
Same bro.
@@Bonez091391 I'm in the same boat. What helps you cope?
During and after my divorce, I realized that my ex wife and I never learned how to BE married, we only learned how to GET married.
Speaking facts my man.
Who filed?
Deep
That’s my cousin Joey in this video. He’s a great guy! I’m so hurt by his divorce and separation, but he’s definitely a great guy. I know there are more Joeys in the world, great podcast!
I'm a Joey! Going through it right now with two kids. 8 year old and 5 year old. It's really tough not seeing my kids but holding strong.
Even through this video I sense that you are a good brother. Be encouraged. At least now we know what not to do. Stay up!!!! We are men!!!!
I got divorced after 30 years of marriage. It sent me into a depression it took me two years to get well. Thankful and grateful that I’m able to eat and sleep regular again I do public speaking relating to reentry, but now my public speaking includes depression among men that we need to speak up and ask for help.🙏🏾
9 years of being a faithful husband to a wife who stepped out of the marriage and made me look like the person in the wrong.
@@DNolan-qy9pf sorry to hear that😞
Same here
Good session. Too many men, including myself, don’t talk about dealing with divorce!
Yeah,good session
Going through divorce now. I NEEDED THIS. Thank you.
Hello
Hang in there go talk to someone if you need to🙏🏾
I went through a lot of financial crisis after my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college,just hope it encourages someone that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any of them right now, you can start TODAY regardless your age INVEST and change your future! Investing is a grand choice I made. Great video! Thanks for sharing!😊
I strongly recommend Regina Louise Collaro, a reputable US-based financial advisor and consultant. Through her collaboration with an international organization, she has provided invaluable guidance and support on my financial journey until I reach my goals. Choosing the right financial consultant is vital, akin to finding the ideal life partner, as both profoundly influence your life's direction. I am thankful to have found such an excellent financial consultant who has aided me in accomplishing my financial goals, spanning from education to nearing retirement.
It's surprising to come across Regina Louise Collaro's name here. I've always been uncertain about hiring an investment advisor. Just to clarify, I began collaborating with Regina in 2019. She oversees around 70% of my investments, leaving me with the remaining 30%. My stance has always been that I prioritize my own finances, but she has convinced me of her extensive knowledge regarding present circumstances and upcoming trend
Adult discussion, no bells and whistles, very mature and informative, I really like this, God bless all of you
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
This episode was something I needed to hear, I went through a divorce and I have not had anyone to really talk to about the struggle I had to battle with alone, but listening really helped. I appreciate it. God bless
I'm going through one now
In the same boat ,I got married early and my friends can't advise me or anything
Shit wack but it's life and life goes on.
Good luck and God bless!
Love this uncommon perspective. We don't hear from men enough on this subject and it's so important. To the gentleman who was married 3 times, I could so sympathize. I married 3 times as well and felt so confused and disappointed in myself at first and then got some great counseling for just ME and it was life changing. It's no one persons fault ...it's our rearing end experience combined with the same for our partners. I've tried to find good from it all by teaching my children and others to understand yourself first or your relationship can't succeed. Our parents didn't understand this, weren't taught this and we now hope it gets a little better with every generation
You don't want to bleed on someone that never cut you.
Get healed first.
"You can't change anyone". ✅
Fellas, first of all, thank you for making me laugh out loud for the first time since we decided to split. Age 51 divorce number 2 after 16 years and so many things I heard resonate. Thank you for speaking out. Your experiences are helping others.
Wow your situation is really simular to mine age and everything God bless
What a beautiful message. I have never been married (by choice), but went through a devastating custody battle. Finally won after 7 long years and financial devastation. But it was worth it. I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if we were married. So many of my friends have been devistated by divorces they did not want. Thanks for sharing fellas.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
This really was a great exchange between men...love to see you three continue doing shows and speaking the real! Real men. Real emotions. Real life. Real feedback. This is good!
Im in the same situation married for 24yrs and together for 28yrs just got a divorce 5 months ago men dont have a support group we kinda deal with it in silence its hard but i pray for strength every night hope oneday me and my exwife can reconcile
@@Tuck-d3t I feel ya bro! I've been seeing this and plan to provide more help in this area.
Men do have support. They choose to do it alone. Divorce care is online for ovorce people.
Joey has not aged at all (and good for him for staying true to himself and God). Great conversation DocReid! Love the transparency and honesty. Now you have to do one with women! This was good.
This was sooo heartfelt listening to, especially being an 26 year old male being raised by a single mother of 6 kids, and now dealing with a brake up with a woman that I have two young beautiful children with that I wanted to be my wife and partner… was raised with just a mother figure that wasn’t always home! I’m dealing with finding my identity while still trying to be a man that I never seen growing up… I’m fully accountable with the mistakes that I have made… but it seems to be no common ground. Please if any of you guys can reach out to a young black male that is fully invested into his relationship and strongly wants it to work, I would definitely appreciate it! First time checking out this podcast! And I loved every second of it! Keep going young kings ❤️
A mother figure that wasn't always there???? Maybe she was out working to provide for her 6 kids. Give your Mum the respect she deserves and grow up.
I would absolutely love to come on and tell my story of personal development and how it will destroy relationships thinking you will fix it but once you find the true you a lot of relationships you think it’ll fix it actually shatters because you became the real true authentic you
My son killed him self over a divorce.. 28 and 2 kids!
Please talk to someone
I'm so sorry to hear that. 😩
Damn, I'm so sorry I'm going through it, it's mentally alot to deal with. Women have alot more support than men, they have the judicial system, they have social media, my family members that betrayed me picking a side. Men feel isolated, and feel hopeless. It's horrible that a person you once loved, and shared everything you had. How could anyone you so deeply trusted be so evil to wanna take everything from you inorder to destroy you. 😢😮
@@anthonyetrade7486
Most women are evil.. join a men’s group or find a therapist, hit the gym.. kick ass.. try to focus on your future. Don’t look back. Regain your power.
EXACTLY!!!!!
@@anthonyetrade7486Some women want the castle 🏰 and everything in it except the king 👑
I’m separated from my husband right now. I made many mistakes through our short term marriage. We been married for going on 2 years. I haven’t watched this video but I got on the comments and I think it’s crazy how people are saying that divorce is crazy. I til this moment, I wish I would of done things differently, I’m working on myself for me and my son but there’s nothing in this world that I want most than to be back at home with my husband. He’s such a great human being. I don’t know why I didn’t take care of him how I was supposed to. Hurts my heart. But I hope one day he can forgive me and we can get back together. I don’t want to divorce because I know he’s the love of my life. So if you’re going through a divorce… don’t do it. Pray, work on yourself and hopefully yall can make it work. That’s my wish right now 🙏🏽
Good luck to you and go to marriage therapy (not the preacher). I think it has something to do with your past or childhood. I pray y'all reunite together again. Be honest when talking. There's light but don't wait too late. At least you know your the problem. Give me an update btw I'm not married, no kids, no relationship...I wish I was though
We went to 3-4 counselors in my second marriage. I was angry because she was very disrespectful. I moved in the house with her. Provided for her and her daughter and my son and we had a daughter together. She never appreciated me. But had the nerve to file a divorce. Throughout our problems , I still loved this woman! I need to start to get over her. We've been divorced 5 months I still think about her daily.
Why? Whats so special about her?
@@EyebrowQueen You obviously don't understand.
@@stanmoney8470 i do understand...if she was that bad why would you think about her?She doesnt seem like she is worth that. You are aware that you have to choose a woman right? You would not be your woman if you didnt pick her. Therefore, just get to know yourself and choose better next time. Simple
Please, bro, go to the bar, but don’t drink don’t smoke just go dress nice and chitchat and you will find there so many more fish in the sea but trust me don’t drink then you don’t have to deal with the hangover or any embarrassing situations and you can be in that mother every nightjust chitchatting with young beautiful ladies
Don’t know if a bar is the best place. Very low percentile of finding marriage material.
I love this conversation, I have a handful of guy, friends, and I hear this so much, we don’t realize how our actions as women, affect the way a man feels, whether in marriage, or dating.
Thank you, guys. I'm going through a divorce currently, and this was really comforting to listen to.
Going through a divorce right now… 21 years, y’all really opened my eyes…. Thank you so much 🙏🏻
I really want to be a good husband and actually be loved by someone
So beautiful to hear from a man.
Thank you I needed to watch and hear this conversation. Currently going through a divorce and I can relate to all of perspectives.
This was really good and refreshing. These are conversations that should be had more often to encourage men to show more vulnerability. I really feel this will Bless so many people.
I'm so thankful to run into this podcast episode. I'm going through the divorce process 2 years of marriage. It's tough recovering from betrayal your spouse became your biggest enemy, the lawyers fees are insane I just keep praying that there's a light at the end of this dark road, any man going through this, get your mind right go to the gym, and just pray you'll feel isolated, if your not disciplined mentally it will destroy you. Keep strong all the men going through this
@anthonyetrade7486 there is light my brother!
@DocReid thank you brother 🙏
Love Love Love this! I've known Joey for a long time...GREAT GUY!!! Of course I hate to see any marriage end (been there a few times myself), however, at the end of the day, when you've done all you know to do and THEN SOME, stress kills and so you have to do what's best for you. KUDOS to both these brothers for their true and authentic transparency and KUDO to you Doc for bringing this to the forefront for so many who are having challenges with "moving on" from what was supposed to be "forever..." THANK YOU!!!
Great discussion, my brothers, I just divorced in December 2023 after 22 years of marriage. Some of your experiences were so familiar. It is always encouraging to know that you aren't alone in this space of the road to healing after divorce.
After hearing these brothers I realize I wasn’t ready for marriage and the woman I married wasn’t right for me either we are too different we are aligned in the spirit but we are not good for each other in the flesh so now we are heading to divorce and we have to learn to be excellent parents.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
Awww I remember Joey from back in the day as a TC in Upward Bound. Praying for him as heals. Such a great upstanding guy. Appreciate his vulnerability and honesty.
It takes courage. Glad he has support of friends.🙏🏿
Thank you Gents for a great interview and being vulnerable
Thank you guys for opening up and sharing your stories. This was so helpful to understand a glimpse into what men go through as well. Keep em coming, I’ll tune in! ❤🎉
Great conversation Doc. Do more of these with the men.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to each of you gentlemen for being vulnerable and sharing your personal experience with us! I gotten so much out of the video and I haven't finished watching it in its entirety yet (lol) I had to stop and comment. So don't be surprised if you see several more comments from me as I finish watching this video 😁.
First and foremost, thank you for allowing us to see the vulnerable side of a man. We (women) need to see your vulnerable side. It is a reminder to us that you are human and are equally worthy and deserving of being treated with love, respect and kindness.
Second, the gentleman who stated "if he had known then what he knows now," in regards to the red-flag question, he summed up my experience to a T. I didn't know the behaviors my then boyfriend/fiance' was displaying were indicators of major issues to come. I honestly believed that since we both chose to marry, we were both willing to do what was necessary to make our marriage a success. Boy, was I wrong! For example, we participated in a group pre-maritial counseling course and during one of the sessions I was in tears. He was refusing to participating and had done something during the course that resulted in me crying. I distinctly remember the counseling instructor looking at us both, I thought he would have spent time to help coach us through what had just happened, but he looked just as confused as I was and turned his attention to the other couples in the room. Looking back on things now, his behavior during the counseling sessions, remained consistent throughout our marriage of 20 years (Yeah, I held on to hope for a loooong time). My former spouse wanted everything that marriage brought - a good wife and a good life... he just didn't want to have to reciprocate.
Amazing insight on men healing after divorce, great food for the soul. Divorce and the brokenness that comes along with it is tough, but we overcome it all and get to a better side of it. I was married 17 years & have been divorced 20 years and I know all too well, but I am so much better and loving the single life that I have chosen for myself. Dating is too much these days & my time is too valuable to play.
After two times , I'm scared to trust a woman in marriage! There so unloyal! Second wife I was willing to keep trying but she filed divorce! Unloyal as hell! Always thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
It just hurts when you want to try to make things work out but all they think about is divorce. It hurts alot. Everyday Im hurting.
That is a valid fear and one that is prevelant in society. Loyalty is a beautiful trait and one that can not be forced upon others. One of the tips I give to my brothers is to always show up as authentic as possible in the first month of dating women. Be expressive about your desires and what makes you feel valuable.
Communication skills are something that I think can empower men as a way to vet out the sour grapes from the sweet grapes.
Keep going sir, " time and chance" will make room for us all.
The longer it takes a man to understand she's gone and she ain't coming back the worse it is for the man. She's gone and she don't care so you can either accept reality or wallow in self pity. Either way she's not coming back. Deal with it and move on. It's your choice. However keep in mind guys the tables may be in her favor right now but eventually they will turn in your favor, they always do especially when you find another woman.
He probably found another woman while married.
Please have a part two, a part three, more men need to keep talking, there is accountability to be had on both sides. Tech podcast now.
Hi Joey, I look forward to your healing soon. I'm so sorry that you were hurt like this. Please don't give up on love. We are made to love and beloved. We love you and thank you for your frankness. ❤
I need a "Joey" in my Life! No disrespect of course, but this is the type of Man that "I" always needed in my life. We would have still been married. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way for me. Having been divorced and separated since 2003 after my son, I realized that I did everything possible to save my marriage. I just kept faith and prayer in my life and got through it. I had a thriving career at the time and have excelled. There is still something missing. I haven't remarried since. There are "Slim Pickings" out here. Hahaha, and I can laugh about it. Thank you, guys, for creating this video! It gives us women your perspective on divorce and what you are going through. I have subscribed to your channel Doc and will continue to listen in.
My question is how do
you know that you are healed enough to fall in love again or even get married if you ever do? Some men never get over it and then remarry but it goes down the drain.
Heeey Joey! You seem so sweet❤. The way you condtioned yourself was great. You didnt know how to choose, most of us didnt learn how to choose. But Im proud of you and your progress.
#1) pre-marital counseling with pastors seem to be useless.
#2) church definitely did a lot of us a disservice with the lack of dating/marriage preparedness
I appreciate the vulnerability and I pray for y’all healing.
Going through divorce is by far the toughest thing ever, I’m going through it, I’m suffering it.
I’m sleeping it out.
I honestly don’t know what and how to feel.
I try talking to my friends, but surely every single conversation I have with them can’t be about me and what am I going through.
I can hang out with them but later whenever I get home, what am I supposed to do? I want to work out on get jacked up out of the pain, but I don’t feel like I can do it because the depression takes over me.
My body can, but my mind just can’t seem to convince my body.
I know I will.
But I have to bear with myself.
Going through a divorce is just not the easiest thing do go through.
I’ll move out of my city.
Been thinking about moving out of the country, but the way I feel doesn’t allow me to see past my desire of moving out.
It’s a fucked up feeling.
I just hope I’m able to bounce back.
It’s a lot of fishes in the sea.
Hey there mate...i got officially divorced (signed papers) 3 days ago but i was served with papers last year October 2022, so unofficially I've been divorce for a year at least. I can relate to your pain, just know that you'll be alright. It's tough🤦🏾, and you'll grieve but you'll be alright. Keep busy, pick up a hobby, it will help keep your mind on positive things.
Hey, any updates? Are you doing better soldier?
I'm right there with u my friend You are not alone
I can relate to so much on this podcast. Great episode fellas!
Its great to hear men talking openly regards this topic..❤
Thank you guys for that sharing, very brave of you. God bless you all! 🙏
Going through it right now. This stuff is gold.
I was married twice faithful both times, after twice why be faithful? For what? I swear they take your faithfulness for granted. They think your weak for being faithful it's crazy!!!
U just chose the wrong women hun.
Doc Reid, Joey and Charles. Thank you for sharing your experiences in a very transparent, authentic and open way. I understand there may be a second segment. In the next segment, will you answer a few of questions. Did you ask your wife how she needed you to show or express love? Did she value the same things you valued in a marriage? What was her love language and did you love her in this manner?
It appears you both had an idea of marriage, and approached it based on your needs and wants. Did you truly consider her needs and wants?
I appreciate you all’s perspective and I am looking forward to the next segment.
Im currently separated. It is the most hurtful painful part of my life thus far. I don't see us getting back together
Needed this conversation today. Thank you gentlemen
Thank you Doc!!
This has been a revealing episode for me. Sometimes we as men don’t want to open up completely to your friends and family because you don’t want them to treat your spouse differently. Thanks fellas for being real and open.
Appreciate this, bless up🙏🏾✊🏾
This was great,I really needed to hear this , fresh out of marriage this really helped me out.
All too often, we don’t hear a males perspective, unless they are trying to connect with someone new. The forum you have created allows insight into the emotions/pain the men experience too.
Great topic. I appreciate their candor.
Thank you!
Ps. Why Pooh hiding behind the shades?
This is awesome to hear! Definitely needed
I wish I had access to this type of leadership
Wow a fantastic topic! Much appreciated 🙌🏾❤️
I'm currently going threw a divorce now married 5 years 3 kids together and I just don't know these days sometimes I think I'm happy and then I'm not I just hope either time I can get over this since of being alone after she relocated the kids to another state I'm ok with losing the marriage but how do I get over being a long distance father just need some help because I'm still down about that but this video helps a lot thanks guys
Is it only me or do we need the ex-wives here to say their part, I really wanna believe these guys. Alot missing here...
"Doc" Reid and Joey are two of the greatest brothas on this planet! Love these guys! Shout out to my fellow WSU college-mates!
Ok, I digress...lol. Awesome and insightful video, Reid! Thank you for your contribution, Gentlemen! Joey!! Wassup, man!!
-Trever
What's up Trever! How you been? 😊
@DocReid Doing great! I pray that you have been doing well and good! Keep doing what you're doing! This was an amazing episode.
I had a married couple confined in me telling me once they had kids it wrecked the relationship between the two. I have heard this secretly from a few. I think, marriage without kids should be a topic and seen as a choice more. Lots of marriages would be saved. Just a thought
Deep conversation! I appreciate it.
Wow threw away 22 years that's crazy
Joey sounds like my kind of guy😊 i did a 20+ year sentence as well😢
Still we rise ❤
The has been so helpful during my transition
I’m still not ok but God got me
Oh Joey…praying for you and your family and everyone impacted. This hurts me to hear…🙏
Not saying these guys ain’t good men but they acted like they were perfect in there marriage. They did not take responsibility for anything.
Exactly. Someone with a brain at last
Literally just heard the brother say "I started off wrong" that's taking accountability right there
This resonate so much. Made me feel like a failure.
thank you
I can identify strongly with Joey. As I go through this process, I would love to connect with him.
Religious thinking can cover a multitude of red flags.
Joey is a beautiful soul ( handsome too😊)
Its hard and after the second unwanted divorce. I have to say it pretty much destroyed me. My trust having two cheaters and dating two different women that were and ended up being cheaters I gave up. A man just have to give up to much. Women just come out on the winning end. She can get laid every night of the week if she chooses. It costs them nothing to date. We men have to pay for dates and its not our choice if there is a relationship.
That's why i am glad a muslim. No dating allowed or sex before marriage.
It makes the playing field fair for both genders. And a woman isn't allowed to divorce her husband without GOOD REASON or else her chance going to paradise will be at jeopardy.
To have a wife for a man in Islam, you must pay all the bills and not require her to pay anything revolving the housing, food, clothing.
Islam is a game changer if you want peace of mind. You will have to stop the clubbing, alcohol, smoking, pork meat also. It's a way of life system that protects you from bad elements.
Is this program live streamed?
I don't know why we don't watch the elders. A lot of them laid the examples but we ignore.Some of the elders have been married for twenty-five and fifty years. Just ask them if they're happy all the time. No one is always happy in a marriage. And people get divorced because they're not happy my God! Get get Happy by working on it. Ask your love one this makes me unhappy. What can you do to help.
We need to date for years with out sex.Know the families and history of our potential partners, personalities ,etc.
Not to forget learning and understanding ourselves and families.
Appreciate the mature out put from them gentlemen .
Be blessed
Never again. NEVER
Same thing happened to me 2 married 2
Literally at the beginning stages of my almost 20yr marriage ending...and it's definitely scary and just unfamiliar territory!
You're definitely not alone
Nope not alone
Amen! Red flag 🚩= stop! I definitely learned that the hard way many times
That brother should not get married anymore. He need to check his ish... 3rd Marriage... really? He needs to check heself
That's what I said. It sounds like he may be the problem
What song is this?
Yep! 😂 How's that working out for you? Definitely Doc!
some of Joey's story, is my story too.
That brother needed to know what his wife's love languages were. I dont think she wanted diamond rings... I think she liked experiences and words of Affirmations perhaps...
That bald head man gonna have a whole lotta women clicking to him lol. I can tell he honesty does have a sweetheart but he not healed an definitely still hurting because I hear it n see it n his voice but u lose some u win some I guess
Funny little anadote BM and I 1st we're leaving a bar and grill. The radio is playing the song. What cha see is what cha get. All I was seeing is the you know what. However I had a great friendship with her we went way to fast into life.
I just found myself again
How'd you do it????
Wow, I was Joey in my marriage
I'm still trying to figure out as a man what are the benefits to getting married? The only real argument imo is spiritual. In today's culture, how can a man depend on a woman to be there with him for life? Women are hypergamous. They will find the bigger better deal when it comes along. Not being pessimistic either from what I observe this is an accurate assessment
Unless you want to have kids, don't do it. There isn't much benefited for a man. Going through the beginning of a divorce now with a 22 month old.
There’s no benefit
The benefit is to have a partner to do and share life with. Marriage is not for people who do not have a certain character. And it’s a character builder. If you really want to find out if you’re a good person, marriage will reveal it. Being able to love someone because…and love them in spite of… is what it’s all about. Why grow old without a partner that’s going to feed your or wipe your butt when the time comes. But again, not everyone is built for that type of friendship, companionship, and unconditional love. So if you can find that person, the benefits are infinite. There are more women willing to stick and stay than not, trust and believe.
@@Missbreeadamsfacts