Im a man and Ls women are just like ds women.. i think people like him put them on a pedestal to where if she does something bad its shocking because colorist look at LS women as "innocent"
Even crazier to apply it as if Black men approve. Everyone knows Kodak is remedial. But y’all are like white supremacists. Y’all look for black men and women who day and do dumb stuff and use it to confirm ur bias
As a bw I just hope that we still practice having discernment when it comes to the men that we date regardless of race. We shouldn’t be praising people simply for being attracted (or sometimes really fetishize us) and shouldn’t automatically think that being with a man that’s non black will always equate to being better. Go after being loved, cherished, and respected.
@@spottinglydsome more than others tho. Not all races of men are taking the lives of Black women every 4.5 hours - only one group is and that's the group to EXCLUDE from your dating pool.
Thats the whole [point To choose elsewhere thinking it will be different And yet “white” supremacy loves that divestment. And no unity among melanin people without that “white “ zaddy! Ya heard!!
In all honesty, I don’t care what black males have to say about me as a black woman. I’ll continue to date who I want. And all black women have to follow suit.
honestly i love your confidence! it's really inspiring and really really crucial to have in a world which does look down especially on black women living their life keep it up bc remember a lot of these men not just black men but in general men who hate on woc and especially black women doing their own thing are just insecure and insignificant anyways!
LOUDER! My own father shamed me for dating a white man my whole life, but BM never treated me well. And he always blamed me for dating the relationship… Ngl, black women who are offended at white girls dating black men. Girl, let em be. We aren’t gonna get anything anyway 🤷🏾♀️
LOUDER! My whole life my dad shamed me for dating white men. But BM never treated me well. And always blamed me for ending the relationship… Honestly, black women who are offended at white girls dating black males. Let em be. We ain’t getting anything anyways 🤷🏾♀️
"black women serve as a mirror to black men, but they don't like what they see because they don't like themselves" holy hell are you good with words. What an astute, succinct way to put it.
I really appreciate your "Pasta & Lobster" analysis. Too often encouraging Black women to expand their dating pool turns into an idealization of white men. Trash exists in all colors; trust me. Also, I hate the automatic association made between white men and wealth. Just because the man is white does not mean you will be treated to pasta and lobster.
It’s white supremacy. BM aren’t rich enough and BW don’t act like white women. Most interracial daters don’t do it for love. They want an easy relationship
i mean.. statistically, especially if you’re like me who goes to a private university, white men on average have more money. lot of them are middle class instead of working class lol. so it’s much easier in, say, a college town to find a white man who can and will spoil you. i have no horses in this race tho. i’m a lesbian and we all date interracially lmao. this whole conversation is kinda wild to me, but i get it. im glad that misogynoir & colorism are being discussed!
To conclude date people who treat you right. People that respect you, loves you and want you to be happy. Doesn't mater he can be Indian, Irish, Chinese, Cameroonian, French, Mexican(...) what important that he's the one. Find someone's that give you princess treatment and cherish you !
@@55CINCO55 COMPLETELY irrational! "We want White tenants in our building" "Justified" killings of unarmed Blacks, Medical apartheid, for profit prisons, Brown Paper Bag Test, Red-lining, Tulsa/Philadelphia bombings, "Death by starvation" and 400+ years of inhumane slavery. Blacks MUST stick together!!!!!!
@@davruck1Character and virtue aren’t cultural. You’re thinking of personality. Having integrity, kindness and humility are signs of being a good HUMAN, and aren’t limited to race or cultural identity.
@@davruck1you are really jobless replying to every comment bruh. Rest abeg. You are so triggered women are finding love with other it's pathetic at this point
It’s self hate. Was is attractive about white culture? I don’t see it as marrying a person. I see it as attacking yourself to a culture. These white men used to sell their own offspring into slavery. Until they repent as a culture I find wanting to marry them to be about self-hate, because America is about self hate
@@ikeski123 it doesn’t come from self-hate some black women face rejection from black men because they don’t look how they want them to look and they’ve been traumatized by black men so there’s two sides to every story not just one get it together
I haven't reached that point in the video yet so maybe im lacking context, but if you're bold enough ask, ask the real questions and move on if they say the wrong answer.
Tbh they really asking "do u like darkskins with 4c". Although, yea they were hated on the most. And now South Sudanese are praised for their features but not Americans.
No man wants to see masculinity mirrored in them… this quote makes no sense. If they wanted to see a man in the mirror they’d just go hang out with the homies.
@@MiVidaBellisimayou don’t get it. The quote means if the women are “manly” or broken it’s because the men are feminine and failures. Y’all created what y’all hate.
I think the point she is making is that if you are going to date interracial or multi ethnic, do it because you love/attracted to the individual but not as a defense mechanism against your own ethnicity?
Honestly, as a dark skinned fat black woman, most black guys aren't into me. But white guys definitely are so I've gotta go where I'm appreciated. I am happy to see my fellow sisters go where they feel more safe and desired, wherever that may be
Something I notice is white guys tend to date dark skin black girls more. At least that’s what I see on tiktok. Black men on the other hand are always being bullies to dark skin girls
AMEN!! I don’t have a problem all races/ethnicities of men, but when it came to marriage it was down to two men and one was white. The man who eventually became my husband is Black like me, but I always tease him that he could’ve lost me to a White dude.
The truth is, as black women our odds of getting what we want go UP when we broaden our options. Instead of rejecting someone because they’re not the “right” color, try to see them for who they are.
@@davruck1 Nope. She didn’t say anything about getting a passport, nor did she claim that all, nearly all, or a majority of the men in any given part of the world are a lost cause. She also didn’t try to pretend that any race, nationality, or other category of men is somehow better than any other. It’s simple and logical: A larger variety of men to choose from offers more opportunities for success. Get out of your feelings and you’ll have an easier time understanding her point.
@@mizkomunikation9478 I said she’s the same as passport bros. They make weak arguments for leaving the country. They got their feelings hurt or they want to find easier women to manipulate so they go overseas or go white. Black women are lying and saying they can’t be “soft” with Black men, but they really just want to leave the community and find a white guy they can manipulate. I have seen this multiple times with family and friends. Y’all have the same issues on both sides but never look in the mirror.
I’m a black woman and I’ve been with my Asian bf for 5 years. He treats me great and his family has welcomed me and invited me into their cultural practices. I’m team black women choosing whoever is the best option to love and appreciate them. My bf has loved me through mental health issues, healing from childhood trauma, long hair, short hair, no hair, weight gain, weight loss, and the deepest depression I’ve ever dealt with. He’s always treated me the same (special) and loved me through all of it. When I look at him, I don’t just see an Asian man; I see the loving and supportive partner who has helped me when I couldn’t help myself. Everyone deserves to be loved like that.
i’m a 22 year old black woman who has never dated, talked to, or been in a situation with a black man. when people hear this they always stuff like, “you don’t like black men?” or “you hate yourself” essentially placing the blame on me. however, i let everyone know that i like men in general and that i can’t control which ones like me back🤷🏾♀️ i’ve had countless black men (and sometimes women) be annoyed at who i choose to date or show interest in. i just ignore it at this point and go where i’m loved
Stay the course young sis❤ You are avoiding a world of dysfunctional and toxicity when you eliminate the "Kangz " from your dating pool. Dont let no ninja or Black male-identified Pickmeisha make you feel bad over choosing better.❤
I’m going to be honest this whole movement has made me embarrassed that i might be associated with it for being in an interracial relationship and I think about it alot
I feel like the tiktok trendification of stuff like relationships is incredibly uncomfortable and can absolutely lead to increased prejudice and tension.
I've slowly been seeing more black women dating out when I'm out and about. I'm so happy to see more black women opening their options to other races of men. I love this for us. Signed a black woman dating an Asian man. ❤
No but for real. Black women, just like every woman, deserve to be treated well and adored for how beautiful they are. And if black men can't appreciate it, someone else will and that's their loss!
Girl I'm brown and so happy for my black sisters sharing their interracial love stories. ❤ I just want us all WOC to find love where we are respected because a lot of men of colour mistreat us. We deserve better and won't put up with disrespect just because of 'culture'.
the “pasta and lobster” thing seems like fetishization atp sometimes and i get a little annoyed by the way yt men are glorified like at the end of the day they’re still MEN 😭
You're off-code, the mission is to bash BM to lend false value to yourself. Get on-code, us BM like laughing at your attempts to diminish our SELF-confidence(you're not in control of our confidence).
white guy here and tbh I'm kinda really glad racial barriers like this are being broken down. For a long time i felt like there was an (even bigger) gulf between myself and black women, due to having exceedingly little in common and the idea that we're "off limits" (really don't like using that phrase ngl) so to speak, or kind of politely ignored so to speak. seeing this vid helped me see that actually there are people on the other side willing to reach out now, i can only hope this continues until there are no holds barred when it comes to race and social circles. but good point in the video pointing out do not idolize white men, do not idolize ANYONE tbh it can only lead to resentment and a vector to get hurt through. There a bad characters in all ethnic and gender groups. Primarily, like the video said, find someone that will make you happy for being you. And for the record, black women are just as attractive as white women, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Omg ive felt completely the same but on the opposite side. When I was in elementary school, some of my bestfriends were white boys 😢 but as i got older and learned more about culture in america, i drifted away from them and more into black spaces because i thought yall hated me. Its only now in my first year in college that ive started having white male friends again :) from castmates, to coworkers. And yes the culture is different, so sometimes jokes dont land 😅 but its just nice to feel close to yall again. These divisions are stupid.
I went to high school in the 90’s in a school that was pretty diverse but mostly black. I dated a popular (and white )hockey player all four years. He treated me like a princess. I was bullied mercilessly by my black peers especially girls. I heard eeeewww so many times as we walked down the halls hand and hand and was even pulled aside by concerned fellow black girls asking me what I was doing? Meanwhile it was perfectly acceptable for the popular black athletes to date white girls. I’m so proud of this new generation who will grow up being able to be loved on without any judgement.
I'm sorry you went through that, it's nice to hear you were truly cared for though. Whatever happened to your relationship if you're fine with me asking?
@@australianheart2415 oh! We broke up when we went to college. He’s happily married now and so am I. My husband is Salvadoran and also treats me like a princess 😊
That’s actually so wild? Concerned for you not because of his past behavior or how he treated you, but just because he was white? But to then pin it on you as if you’re making “the wrong choice” it’s literally a high school relationship why were they so pressed 😭 why couldn’t they go to math class and leave yall be
Stop generalizing. It's not the generation, it's the people in those moments. I didn't learn that interracial dating was a problem until I was an adult. And I learned that from black women. Meanwhile my mom was cool with me liking outside our race when I was a kid (born in 90).
This is so true as a black woman who has dated interracially multiple times. Being white doesn't make the man any better and a lot of them can be very ignorant and dismissive of our inequality. Plus there's also some who just have a fetish and just see us as an experiment. I am open to dating any race and would encourage it, but just be cautious and mindful when doing that.
I would also like to add onto that . My husband when we were dating had a hard time with the discussion of white privilege because his family was lower middle class. He later understood that there are different types of privilege, racial, financial, physical etc. I would also like to add that although white men are more prone to dismiss racial inequality other men of color are less likely to because they face it themselves. The more privilege the man has the more likely he is to dismiss all inequalities. For example a good-looking white man who was born rich and never experienced any physical or mental impairment is most likely going to dismiss inequality
@@LovingWarmth I had to cut off a white female friend for this. She claimed that racism doesn't exist in London and that "i wouldn't have to move to England if I was privileged" (she's from another European country) yet this same woman claimed "i can have anyone i want because I have blonde hair and blue eyes" can't be friends with someone like that 🤢🤮 also once when on a date with a French guy who kept saying "I know I have privilege" with a smile...seemed like he was glorifying it. Ive learnt to tread very carefully and dig deeply into the mentality of any white friends or partners.
@@LovingWarmthwhite fragility is indeed real. I am white and talking to some other white people (especially boomers) about white privilege makes them stop listening to you. I’ve given up on talking to my dad. 😓 Sad thing is… a lot of white ppl don’t know they’re r@cist because they refuse to admit they could be.
No its not, you want white people that are broke to feel sorry for you because your a black woman, smh. Black women are the most exalted group in this country behind white women. I know white guys who went through the struggle and dont want to hear that white privilege bs, Im a black man that dealt with the same thing especially when the government carry you and white women to the finish line. Besides if I were to believe in white privilege why wouldnt they, the power forces in this country is white, why wouldnt their power extend to privilege of their children, thats why im working hard so my future children will reap the benefits. Thats like saying the Chinese have Chinese privilege in China. you people are dumb and want what white women have rather than wanting real so called equality. @@SkycometAnimeVamp
im team black women going where they are celebrated. but one thing to point out in dating out (especially with white men), we need to steer clear of weirdos using us as some kind of experiment - especially on these dating apps! if a man says things like “you’re bad for a black girl” “i’ve never been with a black girl before 😍” or calls you a “chocolate goddess” don’t take these as compliments - run for the hills!!
The first thing you have in quotation marks is a compliment since a lot of BW nowadays have tattoos, fake long lashes, false hair, fake long nails, etc.
I learned this and I’m Hispanic and unfortunately met too many white men that saw me as a “spicy Latina” and hence they realized I’m spicy but not “attractive” doing it they yeet lol so it’s true always pay attention what men say they tell on themselves bc they think we are too desperate to want them 😂
There has always been an emphasis on race, these conversations are expanding our perceptions. It would be absurd to just act like it doesn't exist and play a role in people's everyday life. In a perfect world it wouldn't be this way, but we don't live in that one.
@gabyelizabeth9624 race doesn't really play a role in my life. It only comes up when you are dealing with racists or certain issues regarding race. Honestly I forget what race I am sometimes because I'm mixed and I just think of myself as the generic american everyman. People get hung up on race because they themselves believe that race matters and effects their life when it really doesn't. There isn't a racist boogeyman around every corner, waiting to hate crime you. Obviously there are always gonna be some racist people, but a lot of people are racist themselves and judge people based on stereotypes and it's unnecessary.
My husband is Japanese 🇯🇵 and I’m a Black Brit 🇬🇧. He literally never considered dating a Black girl as he didn’t think it was an option. Many people are open to dating us but think we wouldn’t date them. Go find love and always make sure no matter the race they always treat you well 😊💕💕💕💕💕
Was it because of his family/friend circle or did he assume BW did not like Asian men? Happy you're happy :---). My bf is Italian/Irish (mostly Italian). Just curious.
@@shopece8807 Hey Queen 👑 no worries, he’s from Japan directly so he just never thought about the possibility same way that I never thought about Japanese men. I thought I’d marry an Idris Elba look alike… lies was aiming directly for him lol. We got together before BTS 12 years ago 😂 so people wouldn’t mention Asian men at all as being desirable. It literally is a very new phenomenon. But when I met him I was pleasantly surprised so it might not be “the wrapping” you might expect that has what you want inside 😅. His family were chill ironically as they were like if he’s so on it, it must be real love. No way he’s running up our blood pressures if it’s fake. It was my Black side that freaked out 😂 I have family in US. My Jamaican side was super chill as they are mix up mix as a nation and actually have a lot of Chinese mixes within many families so often they grow up directly amongst Asian people 😅💕
@@twinningintokyo5487 You are a disgrace to the African [Black] race. How dare you give not only your love, but your womb to a non-Black spouse. The African ancestors are EXTREMELY disgusted with your decision making!
@@afrosamourai400But women are making it a contest. and it will back fire, just like every human boys/men Don't want to feel like they are not valued or special. Boys already don't like this idea of chasing women because it makes it seem like they are below prize worthy
I haven't gotten far into this video but I'll say this, as a black woman, I've only been in interracial relationships, not on purpose, many of my crushes growing up were black. The black community is very unfair in this topic and it's strange. If men will do what they want, just do what you want. But make sure that when someone asks you why you're in a interracial relationship, don't be like the certain black men we're critiquing and go on about how men of your race are this or that. You should be with someone because you love them, not because you dont love your own race. Edit: the way you compared the priveledge theories between each pairing makes alot of sense!
Unlike you as a BM, I have only dated BW and love it! I never was interested in other and my wife and I are same dark complexion. I know this colorist exist across world, but always saw it as a way other ( whites) used it to divide black people ,like they did for all of the other races, while we are distracted they do what they want. History tells bus thus. Now I don't get into the economics of the situation, except to say this, what in the hell does a white person has to worry about? All the other races are under their thumb. Also, Mass incarceration is by design, so that free or cheap labor can happen. Same crimes that whites do as black will give blacks more time or wrongful conviction, so let's not go crazy with statistics to justify this dating process. People do what they want, but we as black people really need to stop trashing each other and thinking the grass is always greener, which it is not. I can think of many examples of this!
1/3rd of all “black” children born in america of of another ethnic race That means 1/3 are from fathers “black” women have had sex wiht and produced chidlren with So the ones opening up are whom again?
“A man is man” now that’s facts, I’m a 23yr black man & I hope I can find a beautiful black woman someday. I don’t give dam about skin tone I just wan’t a good woman. I Pray for the black community.
Y'all really out here discovering some dating basics. Loyalty to a skin color is such a crazy concept when ya pause and think about it. Like where do ya even draw the line when someone is too light/dark to date? Just remember not to date anyone out of spite or hate. I'd hate to see more young folk getting caught up in extremes.
True if you limit just based on race you’re lowering the chances of getting the other qualities you desire. Anyone who only dates inside their race is limiting their options fundamentally
Only low class white boys date black women and hardly any white men will marry you. Also, good luck with finding justice when you come up missing or your body parts are sprinkled around town by a white boy.
Thank you for posting my book in your thumbnail! I'm Christelyn Karazin, the author of 'Swirling.' My true hope that more black women expand their dating options to ALL men, and choose the BEST man for the job. xx
Thank you! I hope not just black women but brown women too understand that they should go where they're respected and loved and not NECESSARILY to brown men.
Heavy on the “men can be shit no matter the race”. I’ve only dated one black guy in my life (I’ve mostly dated white and Hispanics just by happenstance) and he’s treated me the best and most respectful out of them all. I guess I mention this to say to not close the door on *any* race because there are men who will love and celebrate you for being you.
@@gangstamind187 the women I dated where also apolitical. Not everyone focuses on politics. I understand it's necessary and that people needs justice and our country gets things wrong. But with that being said, I don't find any joy out of surrounding myself with the constant negativity that surrounds politics
I’m black. I’m dating a Punjabi man. He’s my second long term bf. My ex of 3 years was black. When I got out of my relationship with my ex a lot of the black men on the dating apps continuously dogged black women to the point it pushed me away(one black guy said I would’ve been his first black girl like that’s a flex, ick). Black women go where you are wanted and if that’s not with a black man so be it. Get you a pasta and lobster man. Get you a brown man. Get you a man that loves, honors, respect, cherish, and protects you no matter their race or ethnic group. Don’t limit yourself.
Bro y’all are really changing your life choices based on the internet? wtf? I thought I was soft for catering to my parents. But never would I do anything for internet folks.
I dated one one before and even though we didn’t work out he treated me better then any other man I’ve ever been with. I hope it works out for you both 🤎
it's stupid and should be prohibited. desperate thirsting by some members of a low-status group worsens the overall status of the entire group all blacks dating outside their racial group are fundamentally thirsting after other races. beacuse black is by far the lowest-status group
@@hellobeanz4009 "blue is crazy" vs "calling it blue is crazy" are two DIFFERENT messages. You can't get mad that someone misunderstood your inarticulate sentence. What in the gen-z mess is this. If you drop an entire clause from your sentence ma'am, you have zero reason to mad right now. Do you even understand what a clause is? You didn't even put quotes around it to help make it clear you were talking about something someone said. Focus on finishing your education before you start saying complete rubbish with your chest out and ten toes down. Smh.
@@divestedconservative26 the ones who cut at our throats about black women (marrying other races, loving our God given hair, naturally wider noses, dark skin etc) are mainly black men. I’ve never been more offended by anyone else but them, my experience. Black ppl kill me, we’re so obsessed with each other.
@@divestedconservative26 the ones who cut at our throats about black women (marrying other races, loving our God given hair, naturally wider noses, dark skin etc) are mainly black men. I’ve never been more offended by anyone else but them, my experience. Black ppl kill me, we’re so obsessed with each other. Also, just looked at your ig, I agree with you to some degree, but calling black men monkeys is crazy. That’s gross.
Seriously. Blck folks look absolutely CRAY. Particularly bw because almost all the irr content is bw. Not even nonbm give a sht. It looks INSANE. To be associated with such a group is embarrassing. Imagine needing the internet to tell you how to date. Where is your mother???
@divestedconservative26 If they take so long to wakeup then what use would dating be? If they can't see abuse and h8tred easily with one group of men then they.wont see it with the next. You're advocating to send mentally incapable beings to other groups. And I dont understand why.
I feel you shouldn’t date based on skin color but on how someone treats you. I married my husband, who’s Arabic. I immediately just thought he was super attractive, but he treats me so well, so that’s how we kept dating. ❤️ hope everyone finds the one for them!
Same, but with an SE Asian guy ❤ I never cared about skin color, but I notice we are looked at when walking hand in hand in the streets Women of his race look at me more instead of just passing by, but it doesn’t seem unkind Men of my own race (yt) sometimes give us both bad looks 🙄
Arab here dating a BM, its nice knowing theres women out there like you that dont stereotype and assume we are all polygamous wife beating terrorists 😂 I wish the stereotype was how passionate we are and how intense our love is! I write my girl poems and love letters as often as I can, she is my saint 🥲 Also ask your man about Ahmed Khaled Tawfik, he was an Egyptian romance novelist, his books are a treasure trove of beautiful quotes, this one being my favorite: "Until the stars burn out, and all worlds end, until the planets collide, and the suns wither, until the moon’s light dies, and the rivers and seas run out, until I grow so old that my memories fade away, and my tongue cannot say your name, until my heart beats for the last time, only then .. will I maybe stop, maybe”
I'm a whitey married to a black woman. We met online (POF) and on our first date (Starbucks) I told her my intention was to get married and if we were dating after 3 years from that day I would break up with her. I think that is important (more than race) date with the intention to marry (both men and women). Date for qualities not race. Yes I had a lot to learn about hair and some other things that I didn't know growing up in a small homogenous town - but I don't think that is a big deal. My wife is a good woman and I am lucky to have her and I think 📯 she is lucky to have me. We have a good family and a nice farm. Date with the intention to marry. My wife has dark skin and she is very sensitive and feminine. She cries when chickens die.
@porter9494 Associating yourself with architects and inventors on the basis of skin color is not only silly - it's misinformed. Architecture evolved in many cultures across the globe prior to several cultures even being aware of each other. Invention too seemed to occur regardless of skin color. It continues to do so in modern times. What has changed is we now have the luxury of associating with this culture or that based on our own intellectual whimsy. The truth of the matter is humans invented and built in order to better serve the needs of the people who lived in the area. One final point - the extreme majority of people consume invention rather than invent. They live inside buildings others built. You and I are not superior or inferior due to our skin, religion or even our parents. Our superiority or inferiority come completely from our individual abilities and contributions not our membership in a group such as race.
I gave this another watch, I gotta add something if I can. The shaming of the "black angry woman" is a big problem too. To me it's a way to silence females in general from being able to advocate for themselves or draw boundaries. I'd rather her know what she wants and be able to articulate her needs instead of have me guess and then take it out in toxic ways that aren't healthy for anyone. Never stop being forward as to not seem "bossy" or whatever other bullshit they cast. It's a way of minimizing needs so guys don't have to show up right or take accountability.
Im a white guy but dating a white guy just because he is white is exactly the same problem in the beginning as dating a black guy just because he is black. The more moral you are and understanding of those morals, you will be able to discern good character judgment; you will be able to judge a man by his fruits. How are you gonna judge a man by his fruits if you don’t know what fruits are.
Most Black women are dating interracially because they’re trying to break a cycle of unproductive same race loyalty that is ingrained in their traditions and culture. These women don’t want to end up alone and unmarried because they’ve put all of their efforts towards finding a compatible Black man who aren’t choosing them in return. So, they are opening up to new experiences. It is unfair to tell Black women that choosing to date interracially should be based on morals when that same message isn’t said to Asian, White and Hispanic women. Asian and Hispanic women were dating White men for citizenship and financial stability for their extended families. Nobody told them not to do that. Black women must seek what all women seek, freedom of choice. She will make mistakes as she learns and then find that sweet spot that benefits her.
Well his a rapper we don’t expect them to be very clever😂 but I must say his one of the first dark skin men I’ve heard actually say the truth about why they don’t like black women they hate their own skin Color. I’ll give him points for that 😂
She used a rapper as a talking point. This lovely young lady hates all black men and it's apparent. This is something a racist fox news reporter would do. We got to do better as a people.
as a mixed girl with a black mom and white dad, its been really interesting being “pasta and lobster” type of mixed. it comes with a lot of judgement. people really be looking at you sideways because you got a black mom and a white dad.
Girl biracial people are so beautiful. Believe me ppl are jealous of you and your family. Let them side eye, they hate to see black women prosper in healthy relationships.
ppl may judge/fear/hate because they don't understand. don't worry about them :) i think they're just not used to seeing that kind of relationship, especially since, as madisyn mentioned, it's usually white woman/black man. the dynamic is changing though. plus imo you're lucky; i always see memes abt mixed kids having ethnic moms being more in tune w their culture, than if it were the other way around lol
Really? My daughter I think gets extra nice treatment because she is from a black mom. I'm fr, I did a video on it, and how I think she would be very different if it was a palm color mom of a biracial. BUT...I am very confident and strong. And her dad doesn't play either, we come across as competent and "ready" and that might be why they are very....differential imo
Sis so happy you posted this. I wish as a Black community would stand as one. Black American or Black Africans or any Blacks. Its unfortunate that's not the case. I was in hospital after double mastectomy and alot of the staff were Black Africans. Sadly they were not very nice or attentative to me but would go running when a person of another race would ask for assiistance. I was in tears it was unfortunate but an experience I'll never forget. 💔
The distinction between black women dating out and black men dating out that i have noticed is it really seems like black women focus on the happiness and sense of respect and appreciation they feel in their relationship whereas black men focus on how horrible terrible, masculine, unlovable, overweight etc they think black women are. It's like they hate us more than they like the women they are with, being with this woman is more a way to communicate a feeling of disdain and contempt for us than find happiness for themselves.
As a product of this kind of relationship, i love seeing them and making it more normal bc people always assume that if you’re mixed your mom is white and dad is black. But i will say my mom still ended up a divorced, single mom so don’t go into it thinking it’s a lifesaving fairytale. Men still aint shit don’t matter the race
The assumption isn't out of nowhere tho...like out of about every 10 Black-mixed kids about 7 have a Black father non-white mom. Also, yeah we know a non-BM won't erase all of our woes but hey. BW/WM have maybe the lowest divorce rates still.
@@shopece8807lol “white “ supremacy really loves u To thinksence he “numbers “ are better for a certain interracial relationship we should all do that cause you know… it wont solve “white “ supremacy 😂😂
Hi, South African here I'm always so confused when African American women are like "society doesn't think we're beautiful"??? So many beauty standards match the way you ladies already are and based on what I've seen, the men in your country find you very attractive. I did not know black men were pushing their issues and self hatred on you guys. I wish y'all could see how the rest of us you. You're a beautiful group ❤ Love from SA
It's because we're instilled with the "phantom" of racism the moment we step into public school. White people in the US tell us racism this racism that and so we think everything is racist even when 99% of the time it's not.
Don't fall for it. BM and BW are both traumatized and refuse to look at themselves to make themselves viable partners for one another. BW turn feminine around WM. BM are respected as men and turn masculine around other ethnicities.
I was told I don't do dark skin women by a man who was alot darker then me, it cemented that feeling of being ugly growing up. Now I'm dating a white man who tells me all the time how beautiful I am and apparently that makes me a traitor to my race. Now the conversation is me being anti black because of this. Honostly I'll never win in this conversation so I decided to ignore the negativity and just be happy and be appreciated.
Why do you black women get in there feelings so much I'm a dark-skinned man as well and I prefer yellow Bones in redbones... That's just like y'all having preference two.. y'all don't date nobody that is shorter than you or that's broke with no money it's the same thing preferences it's just what I prefer..
@@ogtwin_5046 what does short and broke got to do with black men being racist towards their own race of women? Literally all races of women prefer a man with money that can provide and majority of women prefer a man the same height or taller than them, still black men decide to bully and discriminate the skin tones of only their race of women
@@ogtwin_5046black men also get in their feelings. When they see oh black women aren’t waiting for us at the finish line after it doesn’t work out for them they get butt hurt. Now I’m going for Asians and white bois. It’s not even a self hate thing- I think it’s more self love when you see your not liked in a certain area so you leave 😂.
@@number-uz1es sweetheart you are so much wanted over here not only you want it but we need y'all in our life... We value y'all and love y'all unconditionally ... The question is do y'all feel the same way about us black men????
@@ogtwin_5046okay, but you saying it’s skin color as a preference to an entire group, with beautiful women, and the only thing keeping you from pursuing them is skin color, that’s weird. Every girl WILL sleep with a short guy. The ones who say they haven’t are liars. Hot is hot. Spoken standards are performative.
As a black woman, I'm currently getting to know this other black man and it seems too good to be true honestly. We would both be considered "oreos" or whatever but I have never felt such a beautiful connection with a black man. We both share in the same faith, we both love discussing deep and insightful topics, we both have big aspirations and we can talk for ages about black/African culture (what we love about it, it's issues and our own cultures) and because of that there is this level of relatability that I couldn't have with a non-black man. Credit to our Christian faith, he also understands what it is to be a true man, how to step into his masculine role, allowing me to be feminine as a woman, getting that 'princess treatment' I have been denied of because of always being made to feel too masculine as a black woman. It's beautiful. For me it was about understanding myself first and how I wanted to be treated and I happened to find a black man who gives me that "pasta and lobster" energy. For me, the ultimate W💯
It’s easier to build a foundation and relationship with those who are grounded and connected in faith. Expound on that and make it the focal point of your relationship, it’ll work out if you do.
I get it. I’m not a fan of the dishonorable actions of White women but honestly being with my own is just more important than anything else. Interracial dating is dystopian and gross most of the time because it’s unnatural for one and insincere for a second because most of them are brainwashed and doing so for attention or self destruction.
I'm really glad you addressed how many black men have been given passes for certain behaviors. So I'm biracial, my dad is black and my mom is white. We were low income and my dad failed as a man on all levels. He also decided that he embrace the negative stereotypes that surround black men. My mom worked and paid all the bills and got us out of the "hood". So I have witnessed firsthand what happens when black men decide to feed into the negative stereotypes instead of fighting against them. I also find myself not being as attracted to black men due to my experiences with my father and the other men my mom has dated.
I also notice they like for the women to pay for most of everything. I’ve seen them stand behind their women at the register and even argue with them about what they will, won’t, and can’t pay for. I thought they only treated black women like this, but I’ve started to see this much more with non black women as well (especially white women).
Providing is just not in them. This is why they’re associated with struggle love. They treat all women the same, no matter their race. They might praise one more over the other, but in the end, they’re all treated badly.
But when black men say they’re not attracted to black women because of similar experiences with their mothers, all of a sudden it’s a problem. You don’t like black men cause of daddy issues. Fine. But when black men say the same thing, it’s “but your mothers black”. Double standards
@@RST94 even if they love their mom its the same. there is something mentally missing in black men which is why black countries look the way they do. they have no natural instinct to protect, provide and build no logic
I gotta say, this feels like another fetish. My sister dated a black man and had 2 kids with him before they broke up. She had told me on several occasions the worst experiences she had was always with back women that took exception to the fact that she was with a black man and had mixed race kids. It was weird, and frankly super racist. My husband is white, and is law enforcement. The number of black women that have been aggressively coming on to him while at work or the gym has been really uncomfortable for him. This is especially so because he is wearing a wedding band. At the end of the day my advice to people is to just seek connection with people who are kind and respectful of you. You will eventually find what you're looking for. But don't try and judge what kind of partner someone would be based on their race.
I "swirled" back in 2013 and been with my white husband for 11 years ❤ and he loves me whole heartedly and has treated me better than any other black man ever has. We found each other but I recommend date who is for you not what society says. ❤❤❤
As someone who used to be in an interracial relationship, I completely understand why black women are starting to date outside our race. Growing up, black boys either didn't like me, or they practically harassed me. The first person that truly showed interest in me was white, so at the time, that was my type. Luckily, I've found myself in a healthy relationship with a bm now and I couldn't be happier. So, at the end of the day, love who loves you, and I wish all black women the best🩷💜
@sofi3535 a lot of black men put black women down when they date outside of their race. Not all of them, but a lot do. Even at a young age. I remember being 11 years old and the boys in my class spewed out racist and colorist ideologies without even knowing the harm they were causing. Some of them grow up keeping those same ideals, which is why it's a bit off putting when some black men say they prefer a lighter skintone and/or a different race
@@sofi3535 Correction, those blk boys were often only interested in a very particular type of black girl (popular, trendy, etc. and typically gravitated towards the popular boys), but they themselves would not show the Blk girls who were more quiet, shy types, alternative or nerdy, the time of day even if they were more similarly matched in looks and interests. Then comes the huge exaggeration that all Blk girls didn't like them, because they were "different" and not "cool" enough. Maybe they liked anime, or comics or rock music, of course, they neglect to mention that they did not go out of their way to talk to the black girls who have similar interests. It's the lies / half-truths for me🙄
I use to be on the "Black mem only," train. At 30, I decided to broaden my prospects. I've always been attracted to other races but would only seriously date black men. Im excited about this new journey.
Thank you for the encouragement. Working on my self esteem, confidence and love for self is what has shaped my perspective on being open to dating out. I'm worthy of all good things.@@teresam5199
@@NBaa2123 why are you assuming that just because she's with a white man, she worships him because of his colour? Do you think black men who date white women also worship them because of their colour?
As a straight black man it breaks my heart seeing how we as black men have failed our women and have practically forced them to have to look outside of their race to find and feel real, genuine love and appreciation. I watched this whole video with slight pain in my chest lol smh. We’ve put black women through so much and then have the nerve to turn around and blame them for their frustrations with us. I know for me, I want to love and marry a black woman whenever that opportunity comes across my radar so I can only do my part in doing right by the women of my race. I just hope that black men as a collective can wake up and realize that we need to change how we treat our women and not just deflect and act as if we’ve done nothing wrong.
I appreciate this message. Hopefully the younger generation can love on each other but honestly I doubt it will happen in today’s time. We are tired of being disrespected and looked over. I want to be with a black man but how much longer can I keep hearing how ugly we are, how fat we are, how undesirable we are, how manly we are, how nappy our hair is, how we aren’t marriage worthy, how we’re too independent or how we are low tier women ? We are tired and done
I married a Hispanic man, not because of the color of his skin but because he is the first man to treat me exactly how I want to be treated. Before him I only dated within my race and the list of disrespect I encountered is unbelievable. I love my man and I’m so thankful that I took a chance to date outside my race. We’ve been together for 10 years now and have two beautiful children. Love sees no color ❤
Right, the whole “loyalty to black men”’is such a lie. Like I’ve heard this said over the internet, but it’s not because black women are loyal to black men 🙄
Growing up in Los Angeles, I've always dated in IR. I was engaged to a very wealthy Australian white man who was generous but controlling and abusive. Dropped him like a bad habit. My husband is a Taino Dominican and he is a high earner, a generous provider who is also my best friend. We are trying to have our first child. I live a very soft life. I pay only the electricity bill because I want to not because I have to. It's amazing that I found him as we both live on south beach, we found love in a hopeless place lol!!! Go where you are appreciated, respected and loved. Most importantly have standards, expectations and boundaries. BTW I'm Angolan american 5'7'', my husband 6'4 and we are both 41.
You ain’t Black. You African. All these dating issues seem to be with immigrants and suburban Black folks. The more whites you live around, the weirder you become.
You found love in a hopeless place 😂! Girl, you need some help. If you can hook a man in Miami, you can hook one anywhere! (That's like making it in NY.) Congratulations, you really gave me hope. I hope I find my person.
This video reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my exes. She was from Atlanta and one concern she had before dating me is that her father warned her of white men fetishizing black women. I think you mad a great point in the reverse. I’m happily married and yes my wife is a beautiful black woman but I don’t love her BECAUSE she is black but because she is my best friend and the love of my life. Be open to love in anyone and prioritize your happiness ladies.
I don't know I met a white guy who I found very attractive and he's been treating me very well. However he told me he had never dated outside of his race before and I don't know he's slight remarks make me feel reluctant to fully pursue anything with him, I myself have never dated out my race so it's both new to us but there's things he says which make me feel like he might be fetishisizing me.
@@latifa3995 All I can recommend is talk to your man about it. Try and find out where it is coming from. Personally my wife and I find humor in our differences and pointing out stupid stereotypes. But a person can usually tell when a comment comes from an either a cruel place or an ignorant one. Ignorance can be forgiven and educated, hate cannot. As both of you have never dated outside of your race before there maybe some things you say as well that he finds just as odd. Talk to him and if the love is there it will work out. Good luck and God bless you
i’m a child of an interracial, my mom is black and my dad is white, and i’ve learnt through them that love isn’t based on color, culture, or wealth. They were brought up completely opposite to each other but they make it work. I’ve heard stories of the backlash for their marriage (only on my moms side) and it makes me sad that adults care more about the color of your skin than the quality of you heart.
I think that culture still definitely plays a big role though. Including for interracial or international dating. In most cases they actually share a lot of cultural elements. I mean Black Americans and White Americans aren't actually THAT different, both speak English and have a lot of shared American culture. On top of that now a lot of pop culture, mostly from America but sometimes from other countries (like Eurovision songs) are shared all across the West and also in big cities across the world so it's definitely possible you'll have the same cultural references and also values and traditions regardless of where you live. So you'll still ejf up sharing culture even if you have very different ethnicities. Of course there's also many cultural differences and sometimes people still get by but honestly in our globalised and Westernised world, people aren't actually that different culturally as we used to be. And even then whenever people do share different cultures they don't necessarily share that much of it if your partner speaks a different language and it's too hard for you to learn you won't learn their movies and music and won't pass it down to children. Is this a good thing? I mean, the fact that humanity can be closer is good, but the destroying of many traditions in favor of specifically western culture is pretty bad.
As a straight black man, I just have to say that as long as their happy dating outside of the race. I'm fine with it. You should go where you are celebrated.
I agree. I don't think any black man should be upset about it. A lot of these women have suffered, and they are just trying to find happiness elsewhere. I just don't like it when they date outside their race and bash black men still. I think it's trash when black men do the same to black women as well.
@@imanigordon6803 I didn’t say it was all black men. But there is significantly more negative feedback from black men than other groups. On the opposite side of the spectrum I’ve received the most positive feedback from black women.
In my opinion , the pasta lobster trend on social media is just that, a funny trend. Why it was created by a black woman female rapper and popularized on social media by black women, I’ve seen other women of color (Asian, Latina) as well indulge in it for fun, even white women. I think this whole “bw are glorifying wm” thing is just blown out of proportion as all races of women have participated in this trend! I do think this trend kind of deletes the claims that black men have came up with that “black women are undesirable”, and it makes them look bad that other men can see the beauty in their women that they can’t.
@@55CINCO55Nothing is wrong with that. White women should be white men’s first choice as that’s their race counterpart. Black women definitely do not glorify white men. They glorify black men and black love.
I never got more shit for dating than when I started dating a white man. I had dated literally everything; black and Latino men, Asian women, Afro Latina women (being a bisexual Afro-Latina myself), and nobody moved. Once I dated that first white guy tho, “you don’t love yourself”, “you’re a sell out”, “why don’t you like black men?” Now, I’ve been treated poorly by white men too, but the best I’ve been treated was also by white men. I don’t believe I ever dated based off a racial preference, I just know I never got more shit for who I dated until it was a white man.
@@ombb3206 BM lol they’re very mad. Sometimes BW just seem confused. They say things like, they can’t be with “pink meat” , or that “I can’t be with someone who can’t relate to the black experience” , which is valid. I always found as long as your partner respects your race and culture and makes the effort to understand, it was never a problem
@@ariavenger I think initially I individualised the issue, since as a BM I only ever hear BW vilifying BM for dating outside their race, I thought BM generally didn't have an issue with it. It seems I am in a bubble and many BM have an issue with it. Would you say this reaction of BM to your situation has put you off pursuing or dating BM?
I was in a tiktok panel of "pro black" people dissing & insulting black people who do a lot for the black community but just happened to be open to dating non black. They even used anti asian slurs while saying "we can't be racist" to excuse the ignorance. I love my fellow black people but black people being open to dating non black doesn't mean they're self hating. You can appreciate your own self and appreciate a person's beauty no matter their race. Don't let the toxic people in our communities project onto you. Most of us black people are ok with interracial dating.
as someone who dated a white boy the grass isn’t greener on the other side. he took advantage of the fact that i was his first love, ended up fetishizing me and saw me as an accessory more than a girlfriend. we mutually ended things
@@G.G.276lmao they only got 2 options. Trevor or Tyrone , they don’t know how to read between the lines. After getting all them degrees they still don’t know about context clues 😂.
As a white man with a black girlfriend I feel like it's important to say that "loyalty" and conversely dating outside of your race being "disloyal" seems like it does a disservice to the reality, due to being "loyal" a good thing, and being "disloyal" a bad thing. Dating within your race is neither good nor bad, as well as the opposite. Nobody should feel pressured to date purely based on race, and I would hope that each individual would choose their partner not by race, but by who they are as a person. Love who you love.
New subseiber here. I'm a white guy, but I'm also gay, so I'm not necessarily qualified to give commentary on this topic as a whole. I did have a thought when you mentioned the "percentage of black men who are gay," because I'm attracted to and have been with all kinds of guys (meaning that I don't really have a strong preference for ethnicity, height, body type, etc) and I've always found it interesting that most black men (in MY EXPERIENCE, please no one fight me), seem to want to go for other black men and/or tend to be more likely to be "discreet" when it comes to hooking up or meeting up for a date. Its entirely possible that its just a perspective thing. Ive just always found it interesting that darker-skinned guys tend to be more hesitant or discreet about getting together than lighter-skinned guys of color, regardless of how much we seemed to connect. I know there's plenty of people who just arent attracted to me regardless of ethnicity, it just makes me wonder the parallels and differences between experiences. (I really hope I didnt offend anyone with my wording or anything. It's just somewhat of a pattern I've noticed in the past, and this video made me think of it)
As an older black woman who's both developmentally and physically challenged I'm completely okay with interracial couplesand interracial dating especially since I've slowly realized over my 40+years of being single that it'll never ever ever ever ever be something that I'll ever get to experience...so my advice to all of you beautiful able bodied black women who are in interracial relationships my advice to you is to ignore the haters and keep living your best life
You don't sound developmentally challenged at all. You should like a very beautiful, intelligent woman. I hope that someone will pursue you, with love and romance, and protect and stay with you
Sorry to hear about that, you might want to check the ForeverAloneDating subreddit. I'll bet you can find a man who feels the same way about himself to pair with
It doesn't matter what the race of the men. What matter is your taste of men. My cousin dated two white men. One used her as a side chick and married. Other is a drug dealer that lived with his mom. Both left her as single mother. Don't look at the race look at their character. It not a race group problem it your taste in men. Just like the problem isn't black women it those mens' taste in women.
It is a race group problem she literally just showed you the stats. The difference is bm complain are mainly complaining about aesthetics and so called “attitudes” bw are complaining about literal abuse!!
Eh sounds like she barely done any vetting properly. Also without a doubt what you mentioned that stuff is way more likely with black men way more issues and higher chance.
Always remember a person is more than a group they are apart of. Do all black women think and act the same no. Do black men think and act the no. Everybody stop just looking at the group look the person. Know a lot of good black men that love his wife family and know one who don't. Just I know a lot of good women love her husband and family and one that cheats and abused their kids. Like my cousin 's mother stabbing him a 8 yrs old boy at the time and his 6 yrs old brother with a knife. Guess what he doesn't blame black women and he married to one. He just blame his crazy ass mother.
Problem is women choose to be side chicks knowingly. Women want to be a man clearly better than them, then cry about the results. People need to stop being narcissists and stay on their actual level. Men too.
This Black women and other races dating shift has quietly been going on for the last 2 decades and longer. Black men are very afraid to see this shift. Look up the statistics. Our marriages have a higher long term success rate. But date for love not the color of his skin.
They have a higher success rate because BW/WW are less than 1% of the population and also BM have it easier dating you statement doesn’t make any sense
@@davruck1They'll no longer have attack dogs and work horses. Who will protest for them and stand between them and police? Who will offer them homes to stay in while all they're offering is 🍆, disease sperm and headache? The more black women date and marry out the less doormats for black men.
I am a white guy who likes Black girls (not exclusively or in a weird/cringey way as a lot of white people have a kinda insulting “try something new” mindset towards interracial dating). And I have to say, I wouldn’t feel great knowing a Black girl was into me out of some unresolved issues toward Black men. Like if I found she was dating me BECAUSE I was white, that would make me feel so weird. I know I’m not the victim or point of this video, but just to say I agree that we should pursue who we are compatible with and love, and yes there may be real conversations that need to happen around the complexities and realities of interracial relationships, but ultimately I don’t think it’s probably healthy to put white people on a pedestal and date us BECAUSE we’re white. I know no one asked for my two cents. But there they are.
As a black man, I agree with you. They should date whoever they want for whatever reason that want. But. But. They should also know that ascribing character to race is racist.
as a white person i always thought the reason straight black women dated within their race was bc living in a world where misogynoir is rampant, a black man would at least understand the racism part, but this is so much more complex and nuanced than i ever thought!!!
I think that’s how it would’ve happened ideally, but when you’re dealing with a people who have been hated and encouraged to hate their phenotype by a world that despised their blackness…it’s no wonder that soon after emancipation BM began petitioning the Supreme Court for access to WW. The proximity to whiteness has long been sought after by some Black people … often because of the perception of privilege it would afford. In short it’s very difficult to form a lasting union with someone who hates him/her blackness… especially if they don’t realize it.
@@swvolleyball9137 that actually does make a lot of sense, it just feels a bit counterintuitive to me!! like, precisely bc theyre also oppressed they should want to shelter their partners from that oppression?? but yes this totally makes sense
That’s an interesting point, I think an adequate number of African-Americans tend to relinquish outlandish standards or lower requirements when seeking someone of an alternate race, sometimes out of spite or a feeling of induced desperation. A lot of black men have strict requirements regarding physique, mindset, and key characteristics but settle for a woman of another culture who is none of those things. Inversely, a lot of black women have strict requirements regarding monetary value, attractiveness/size, and interests but settle for men of alternate cultures who don’t meet those standards. It’s honestly perplexing. To give each other a hard time over minuscule difference and attributes but show others utmost flexibility. So I applaud your viewpoint and consistency.
@@worldtree2027 that's not a black woman thing that's humans in general who fetishize other races. Some of what you listed as requirements aren't miniscule at all.
We need stop the one person is a prize crap. Women are not the prize and men are not the prize. Your relationship between the two is the prize. Both should upkeep it, celebrate it, and protect it.
As a non black woman I never realized that black women actually wanted black men. I always assumed no one wanted them. Esp bc they are so rude to black women especially!
Growing up all I ever heard about what black dudes thought about black women was that we're loud, we're ugly, too masculine, too sassy, nobody want to deal with it, ect.ect. I love to see black women with all races of men/people. The beauty standards are changing and I'm glad that all kinds of people are seeing the beauty that black women are
I'm mid 50's and have dated black men and non-black men since I was in my early 20's. Non-black men have always been interested. In my twenties, I had a black man ask me,' Is that what you want?', while he was on a date with a white woman. When I pointed that out, he said that he was just using her. In front of her... she just giggled 🙄. I definitely was judged harshly back then by black people. Some black men wouldn't date me after asking and hearing that I have dated more than only black men.
Girl, I was beaten and graped by my then boyfriend because he asked me if I’d ever gone out with a white guy (I was 21 at the time). I told him that I had and suddenly saw stars. The crazy thing was 1) we were all in the military, and 2) he had a whole baby with a white baby mom back in Chicago! Needless to say, shortly after that horrific experience i divested completely.
I saw Christelyn Karazin's book in the thumbnail and had to click on this video. I'm so glad to see so many BW open to IR current year. Loyalty to BM is a losing game. The numbers just are not there, some of them are gay, and the most successful ones consider it a right of passage to be able to get a woman who is light, bright, and white. These men complain about BW's lack of softness, but then are not a soft place. Being soft with the wrong man is dangerous. You can literally lose your life.
@McOofy @McOofy I'm in her private group, so I know for a fact you are loud and wrong. She got divorced after 20 years and is still on great terms with her ex, what does her divorce have to do with anything? Her marriage is character above color, not only date WM
"What does her divorce have to with anything?" A WM filed for divorce and left her goofy, and she teaches how to "Swirl." You being in her group shows you weren't in many AP classes/ didn't compete in state academic competitions growing up.@@AndyyWithAY
tbh i'm not black i'm asian but in all honesty do what makes you feel you happy but just be weary and careful of when you're dating outside your race but as long as that person is aware of the issues at hand and acc help the best they can with it then the sky is the limit all the best now!
im a black man and i support you sis.. im not going to call you out because i can't even find other black men to be friends with unless you act like a nigga doing nigga bs
Same. My friends love to take the piss because all of my crushes so far have been white but there are no black boys in my year at school. I go to a private school in the UK that's diverse with other races but somehow I've always been the only black student (or one of two or three at most) in my year group. I genuinely don't have a race preference (I find race preferences weird because there are incredibly handsome men amongst all races) but I see myself with a white boy purely because of availability. If I went to a black majority school then I would see myself with a black boy.
Black men are the second group of people to date outside their race the most, but also are the number one group of people with the most interracial divorces. Non black women kinda confirm what black women have been saying when you look at the divorce rates of interracial marriages with black men.
Please get off social media 😂😂😂😂 go touch grass. Asians and Hispanics date outside their race more. Y’all believe statistics and social media like 99% date within their own race
@@holz131😂😂😂 because even if they date out the most they also are getting broken up with or divorced the most so it proves that bw aren’t the only problem
@@holz131look at the divorce rates… then look at the steadily rising single mother rates in non-black communities. Even the most obtuse person can’t ignore the truth. Currently IR marriage unions between WM/BW have surpassed WM/WW in success percentage. BM/Any Race are at the bottom with the most divorces.
@McOofy Good point! It's very sad that BM seldom marry, so most BW don't wed. Men do the asking, after all. I think the BW marriage rates will start to improve now, especially because more of us are opening our options.
I'm in an interracial relationship myself and i don't understand why more people don't break this weird racial segregation. Why is there still a them and us mentality?
We need to heal, otherwise we will make the same mistakes we made with black men. We have decenter men out of our lives. We are more than a relationship. Let's heal!
Black women dating out is nothing new, social media is what’s new. If you date out date out but both black men and black women feel the need to mention how “the other race is better” “they weren’t wanted in their own race” it’s corny
@@user-do1qf8rm7b it’s not new, bw have been doing it for a while, social media is new and people making a big deal of it makes it feel new. YOU have never dated out before 2023 but I’m not talking about you.
Interracial dating is nothing new like the OP said. Love Vs Virginia was when interracial marriage became legal, and that was a bw and wm as defendants. 70% of black Slav owners during 1820 were bw that were either kids of a wm or in se.xual relations with one.
I am so happy that the younger generation of BW is smarter today and realize what is going on today. We have this to owe to Christelyn Karazin and I listened to her over and others many years ago. I am 60 years old and I was married to a WM he passed but I am a better life because of the decisions I made. Choose character over color.
I’m a biracial woman who is the product of the BM/WW type of interracial relationship and because my father is what they call “an oreo” he doesn’t have any black friends or acquaintances himself. Pretty much the only black folks he associates with are his family members, with whom we have spent very little time. Thus, growing up, I went to predominantly white schools, grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods and had predominantly white friends. The amount of times blk men have come up to me f£tishizing my skin tone over other darker ones was astounding and disgusting. I have only been in romantic relationships with with men of Northwestern European descent mostly out of circumstance, but given the current dating market, I see no reason to diverge from the path I’m currently on and have been on for as long as I can remember. I think the moral of this story / discussion is general is go where you’re wanted & treated with kindness, dignity, and respect. Good luck out there everyone ✌️
the intro?? “lightskin women can be broken down more easy” is a crazy thing to say
Fr Like what the actual fuck 😂
Im a man and Ls women are just like ds women.. i think people like him put them on a pedestal to where if she does something bad its shocking because colorist look at LS women as "innocent"
Even crazier to apply it as if Black men approve. Everyone knows Kodak is remedial. But y’all are like white supremacists. Y’all look for black men and women who day and do dumb stuff and use it to confirm ur bias
#this
If true
As a bw I just hope that we still practice having discernment when it comes to the men that we date regardless of race. We shouldn’t be praising people simply for being attracted (or sometimes really fetishize us) and shouldn’t automatically think that being with a man that’s non black will always equate to being better. Go after being loved, cherished, and respected.
Thank you, it doesn’t matter if they’re black, white, blue, or yellow. Annyone can and will play in yo face.
@@spottinglydsome more than others tho. Not all races of men are taking the lives of Black women every 4.5 hours - only one group is and that's the group to EXCLUDE from your dating pool.
Yes!!!
Thats the whole [point
To choose elsewhere thinking it will be different
And yet “white” supremacy loves that divestment.
And no unity among melanin people without that “white “ zaddy!
Ya heard!!
@@spottinglyd How does a non-Black spouse benefit the Black community???
In all honesty, I don’t care what black males have to say about me as a black woman. I’ll continue to date who I want. And all black women have to follow suit.
honestly i love your confidence! it's really inspiring and really really crucial to have in a world which does look down especially on black women living their life keep it up bc remember a lot of these men not just black men but in general men who hate on woc and especially black women doing their own thing are just insecure and insignificant anyways!
LOUDER! My own father shamed me for dating a white man my whole life, but BM never treated me well. And he always blamed me for dating the relationship…
Ngl, black women who are offended at white girls dating black men. Girl, let em be. We aren’t gonna get anything anyway 🤷🏾♀️
LOUDER! My whole life my dad shamed me for dating white men. But BM never treated me well. And always blamed me for ending the relationship…
Honestly, black women who are offended at white girls dating black males. Let em be. We ain’t getting anything anyways 🤷🏾♀️
LOUDER! My dad always shamed me for dating a white men. But BM never treated me well. And blamed me for ending the relationship…
We’re black men not males that’s degrading
"black women serve as a mirror to black men, but they don't like what they see because they don't like themselves" holy hell are you good with words. What an astute, succinct way to put it.
😂😂😂 black women are just coping leave men alone stop nagging go black women date who ever you want 😂
"A man who hates his wife/woman hates himself" - God Almighty
Shit speak for yourself. I like what I see. I love black women. Well, I like women in general, but especially black girls.
As if black men are the ones walking around with blonde weaves 😂. Y'all so far gone, there's no saving you.
That’s goes both ways. A lot of yall raised those dudes and they have the same trash outlooks as yall
I really appreciate your "Pasta & Lobster" analysis. Too often encouraging Black women to expand their dating pool turns into an idealization of white men. Trash exists in all colors; trust me. Also, I hate the automatic association made between white men and wealth. Just because the man is white does not mean you will be treated to pasta and lobster.
It’s white supremacy. BM aren’t rich enough and BW don’t act like white women. Most interracial daters don’t do it for love. They want an easy relationship
Its actually doesnt happen that often, but yeah. Black men glorify and idealize skin skin and white women sooo much.
Reasons I’m glad I’m not in these circles. Pasta and lobster? What are people on? My white bf usually treats me to coffee or tea.
@@Window4503 It's just a song. Pasta and Lobster is just a song. I am allergic to Lobster and shell fish so I can't even eat it if I wanted to. lol
i mean.. statistically, especially if you’re like me who goes to a private university, white men on average have more money. lot of them are middle class instead of working class lol. so it’s much easier in, say, a college town to find a white man who can and will spoil you. i have no horses in this race tho. i’m a lesbian and we all date interracially lmao. this whole conversation is kinda wild to me, but i get it. im glad that misogynoir & colorism are being discussed!
To conclude date people who treat you right. People that respect you, loves you and want you to be happy. Doesn't mater he can be Indian, Irish, Chinese, Cameroonian, French, Mexican(...) what important that he's the one. Find someone's that give you princess treatment and cherish you !
Most rational comment in this thread lol.
You're sooo right
@@55CINCO55 COMPLETELY irrational! "We want White tenants in our building" "Justified" killings of unarmed Blacks, Medical apartheid, for profit prisons, Brown Paper Bag Test, Red-lining, Tulsa/Philadelphia bombings, "Death by starvation" and 400+ years of inhumane slavery. Blacks MUST stick together!!!!!!
This one. I just want to be treated properly, everything else is just a detail
Cameroonian man here. I was laughing during the entire video.
I’m so glad you mentioned that white men aren’t the answer. Because at the end of the day ladies we have to pick CHARACTER over skin color.
Define character. Lots of y’all’s character standards are based on whiteness.
@@davruck1Character and virtue aren’t cultural. You’re thinking of personality. Having integrity, kindness and humility are signs of being a good HUMAN, and aren’t limited to race or cultural identity.
@@davruck1you are really jobless replying to every comment bruh. Rest abeg. You are so triggered women are finding love with other it's pathetic at this point
@@davruck1get offline 😭 there's millions an millions of black women so be forreal.
Exactly
As an African girlie..am so proud you guys are coming out of this stupid loyalty shenanigans..
The MAJORITY of these tiktok weirdos are AFRICAN. 95%.
I'm okay with interracial dating as long it doesn't come from self-hate.
It’s self hate. Was is attractive about white culture? I don’t see it as marrying a person. I see it as attacking yourself to a culture. These white men used to sell their own offspring into slavery. Until they repent as a culture I find wanting to marry them to be about self-hate, because America is about self hate
Most of it does ..or is from programming .
Most of the time it does. Many black people will get treated like dirt by every race before they date their own. 😂😂
@@ikeski123 it doesn’t come from self-hate some black women face rejection from black men because they don’t look how they want them to look and they’ve been traumatized by black men so there’s two sides to every story not just one get it together
After 500 years of colonialization I’m not sure that’s possible. It’s like a child dating an adult, you aren’t mentally on the same level.
"Do you like black girls" always make me cringe
Fr like WHERE is the self worth?
I haven't reached that point in the video yet so maybe im lacking context, but if you're bold enough ask, ask the real questions and move on if they say the wrong answer.
fr
FR. make me so mad.
Tbh they really asking "do u like darkskins with 4c".
Although, yea they were hated on the most. And now South Sudanese are praised for their features but not Americans.
“Black women serve as a mirror to black men but they don’t like what they see in their reflection” ! That’s was a word, ok !
omg I wanted to comment this as well! she worded that so good
No man wants to see masculinity mirrored in them… this quote makes no sense. If they wanted to see a man in the mirror they’d just go hang out with the homies.
@@MiVidaBellisimayou don’t get it. The quote means if the women are “manly” or broken it’s because the men are feminine and failures. Y’all created what y’all hate.
@@MiVidaBellisima A mirror of their blackness
@@MiVidaBellisima clearly you have reading comprehension issues - she meant a reflection of their blackness as in skin tone. 💀
I think the point she is making is that if you are going to date interracial or multi ethnic, do it because you love/attracted to the individual but not as a defense mechanism against your own ethnicity?
exactly, just love who you love :]
Say it louder, attraction and love knows no race or ethnicity
weird how black men prefer light skin women but dark skin women are supposed to ”keep their culture” and keep dating black men
Now this is a manipulation and im glad it's over
bro is acting like light skinned niggas aint banging all bw 💀
literally
So you gonna take what on guy says and put it on all bm? See how little mental effort to do that? Stop
What if it's their preference, you guys want tall man do you hear us criticize you
Honestly, as a dark skinned fat black woman, most black guys aren't into me. But white guys definitely are so I've gotta go where I'm appreciated. I am happy to see my fellow sisters go where they feel more safe and desired, wherever that may be
Something I notice is white guys tend to date dark skin black girls more. At least that’s what I see on tiktok. Black men on the other hand are always being bullies to dark skin girls
agreed! i’m a darkskin black girl and i have never been approached by a black man, but white men seem to like me and honestly im okay with that
AMEN!! I don’t have a problem all races/ethnicities of men, but when it came to marriage it was down to two men and one was white. The man who eventually became my husband is Black like me, but I always tease him that he could’ve lost me to a White dude.
I’m a dark skin and dark skin men are attracted to me more but I’m slim thick with curves and I’ve never gotten attention from a white man ever.
lol if a white guy said “white women don’t show me attention but black women do so that’s who i date” would you feel some type of way?
The truth is, as black women our odds of getting what we want go UP when we broaden our options. Instead of rejecting someone because they’re not the “right” color, try to see them for who they are.
Our lives change for the better when we stop centering our lives around black male validation.
@@DrUmarJohnson1 Statistically black men have _always_ dated out more often than black women, so go shout that at the “passport bros”.
@@mizkomunikation9478she’s a female passport bro. Y’all need to look in the mirror. Y’all are one and the same lmao.
@@davruck1 Nope. She didn’t say anything about getting a passport, nor did she claim that all, nearly all, or a majority of the men in any given part of the world are a lost cause. She also didn’t try to pretend that any race, nationality, or other category of men is somehow better than any other. It’s simple and logical: A larger variety of men to choose from offers more opportunities for success. Get out of your feelings and you’ll have an easier time understanding her point.
@@mizkomunikation9478 I said she’s the same as passport bros. They make weak arguments for leaving the country. They got their feelings hurt or they want to find easier women to manipulate so they go overseas or go white. Black women are lying and saying they can’t be “soft” with Black men, but they really just want to leave the community and find a white guy they can manipulate. I have seen this multiple times with family and friends. Y’all have the same issues on both sides but never look in the mirror.
I am white man married to a black woman. We will be celebrating 22 years of marriage this year.
Thankyou for being in the relationship for genuine love and not fetishizationn
#KING
Congratulations!!!
I’m a black woman and I’ve been with my Asian bf for 5 years. He treats me great and his family has welcomed me and invited me into their cultural practices. I’m team black women choosing whoever is the best option to love and appreciate them. My bf has loved me through mental health issues, healing from childhood trauma, long hair, short hair, no hair, weight gain, weight loss, and the deepest depression I’ve ever dealt with. He’s always treated me the same (special) and loved me through all of it. When I look at him, I don’t just see an Asian man; I see the loving and supportive partner who has helped me when I couldn’t help myself. Everyone deserves to be loved like that.
Loved through everything. Cool.
Are u west Indian or African
Wow ……….thats awesome beyond words.nowadays if you blink wrong ppl are ready to abandon you.
@@Somewherell2 Agreed she sounds like she is in fantasy land probably not from America
@@tarreyllhicks1925 yes sir
i’m a 22 year old black woman who has never dated, talked to, or been in a situation with a black man. when people hear this they always stuff like, “you don’t like black men?” or “you hate yourself” essentially placing the blame on me. however, i let everyone know that i like men in general and that i can’t control which ones like me back🤷🏾♀️
i’ve had countless black men (and sometimes women) be annoyed at who i choose to date or show interest in. i just ignore it at this point and go where i’m loved
Stay the course young sis❤ You are avoiding a world of dysfunctional and toxicity when you eliminate the "Kangz " from your dating pool.
Dont let no ninja or Black male-identified Pickmeisha make you feel bad over choosing better.❤
yes. keep it up
Stay away ...far, far away no matter what. Date/marry out and up!
@@catmouse2882pickmeisha😂😂😂 I’m adding that to my Rolodex
@@catmouse2882all that not dating an yet you implore them not to date “black” men
Is a “white” supremacy wet 💦 dream
“Light skin women can be broken down more easy” did he really describe women as if they are horses??? Wtaf!!
Or cardboard boxes 😂
@@teresam5199😂😂😂😂 good one!
That’s how they think. I would hope all women are turned off.
That’s a classic Dusty quote!
But light skinned women be enjoying the attention from black men though!!!!!
I’m going to be honest this whole movement has made me embarrassed that i might be associated with it for being in an interracial relationship and I think about it alot
You most definitely are being associated. My sister is dating a White dude, and I often wonder if she's one of these morons.
same dude. Like I'm literally just living my life 🧍🏾♀️
This is all chronically online shit. Trust me most people in real life do not care
yeahhhhhh it’s a rough time
I feel like the tiktok trendification of stuff like relationships is incredibly uncomfortable and can absolutely lead to increased prejudice and tension.
I've slowly been seeing more black women dating out when I'm out and about. I'm so happy to see more black women opening their options to other races of men. I love this for us. Signed a black woman dating an Asian man. ❤
No but for real. Black women, just like every woman, deserve to be treated well and adored for how beautiful they are. And if black men can't appreciate it, someone else will and that's their loss!
Girl I'm brown and so happy for my black sisters sharing their interracial love stories. ❤ I just want us all WOC to find love where we are respected because a lot of men of colour mistreat us. We deserve better and won't put up with disrespect just because of 'culture'.
Me too ❤I see em out and about and looking happy 😊
@@taiyabazaheer9492brown girls are anti black. Trust me, I know
Asian men are not most women's preference so it's cool hearing about this.
the “pasta and lobster” thing seems like fetishization atp sometimes and i get a little annoyed by the way yt men are glorified like at the end of the day they’re still MEN 😭
It's definitely fetishization. Let's be real here "Women of color" fetishize White men more than the other way around. It's pathetic.
THIS
“They’re still men” what does that even mean
They're still evil @@khboychuk4980
You're off-code, the mission is to bash BM to lend false value to yourself. Get on-code, us BM like laughing at your attempts to diminish our SELF-confidence(you're not in control of our confidence).
white guy here and tbh I'm kinda really glad racial barriers like this are being broken down. For a long time i felt like there was an (even bigger) gulf between myself and black women, due to having exceedingly little in common and the idea that we're "off limits" (really don't like using that phrase ngl) so to speak, or kind of politely ignored so to speak. seeing this vid helped me see that actually there are people on the other side willing to reach out now, i can only hope this continues until there are no holds barred when it comes to race and social circles.
but good point in the video pointing out do not idolize white men, do not idolize ANYONE tbh it can only lead to resentment and a vector to get hurt through. There a bad characters in all ethnic and gender groups. Primarily, like the video said, find someone that will make you happy for being you. And for the record, black women are just as attractive as white women, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
go get your black queen, Waluigi
Omg ive felt completely the same but on the opposite side. When I was in elementary school, some of my bestfriends were white boys 😢 but as i got older and learned more about culture in america, i drifted away from them and more into black spaces because i thought yall hated me. Its only now in my first year in college that ive started having white male friends again :) from castmates, to coworkers. And yes the culture is different, so sometimes jokes dont land 😅 but its just nice to feel close to yall again. These divisions are stupid.
I'm a Puerto Rican man and I'm dating a caribbean black woman. She's the best thing to ever happen to me.
@@bigtatsucarribbean people are still carribbean people, regardless of race you probably have a ton of cultural overlap
Love is love. Mysoginy is the real problem and women should not settle for less than they deserve
I went to high school in the 90’s in a school that was pretty diverse but mostly black. I dated a popular (and white )hockey player all four years. He treated me like a princess. I was bullied mercilessly by my black peers especially girls. I heard eeeewww so many times as we walked down the halls hand and hand and was even pulled aside by concerned fellow black girls asking me what I was doing? Meanwhile it was perfectly acceptable for the popular black athletes to date white girls. I’m so proud of this new generation who will grow up being able to be loved on without any judgement.
I'm sorry you went through that, it's nice to hear you were truly cared for though. Whatever happened to your relationship if you're fine with me asking?
@@australianheart2415 oh! We broke up when we went to college. He’s happily married now and so am I. My husband is Salvadoran and also treats me like a princess 😊
That’s actually so wild? Concerned for you not because of his past behavior or how he treated you, but just because he was white? But to then pin it on you as if you’re making “the wrong choice” it’s literally a high school relationship why were they so pressed 😭 why couldn’t they go to math class and leave yall be
Stop generalizing. It's not the generation, it's the people in those moments. I didn't learn that interracial dating was a problem until I was an adult. And I learned that from black women. Meanwhile my mom was cool with me liking outside our race when I was a kid (born in 90).
@@sunofabob well stop generalizing black women most black women nowadays are in interracial realtionship
This is so true as a black woman who has dated interracially multiple times. Being white doesn't make the man any better and a lot of them can be very ignorant and dismissive of our inequality. Plus there's also some who just have a fetish and just see us as an experiment. I am open to dating any race and would encourage it, but just be cautious and mindful when doing that.
no surprises
I would also like to add onto that . My husband when we were dating had a hard time with the discussion of white privilege because his family was lower middle class. He later understood that there are different types of privilege, racial, financial, physical etc. I would also like to add that although white men are more prone to dismiss racial inequality other men of color are less likely to because they face it themselves. The more privilege the man has the more likely he is to dismiss all inequalities. For example a good-looking white man who was born rich and never experienced any physical or mental impairment is most likely going to dismiss inequality
@@LovingWarmth I had to cut off a white female friend for this. She claimed that racism doesn't exist in London and that "i wouldn't have to move to England if I was privileged" (she's from another European country) yet this same woman claimed "i can have anyone i want because I have blonde hair and blue eyes" can't be friends with someone like that 🤢🤮 also once when on a date with a French guy who kept saying "I know I have privilege" with a smile...seemed like he was glorifying it. Ive learnt to tread very carefully and dig deeply into the mentality of any white friends or partners.
@@LovingWarmthwhite fragility is indeed real. I am white and talking to some other white people (especially boomers) about white privilege makes them stop listening to you. I’ve given up on talking to my dad. 😓
Sad thing is… a lot of white ppl don’t know they’re r@cist because they refuse to admit they could be.
No its not, you want white people that are broke to feel sorry for you because your a black woman, smh. Black women are the most exalted group in this country behind white women. I know white guys who went through the struggle and dont want to hear that white privilege bs, Im a black man that dealt with the same thing especially when the government carry you and white women to the finish line. Besides if I were to believe in white privilege why wouldnt they, the power forces in this country is white, why wouldnt their power extend to privilege of their children, thats why im working hard so my future children will reap the benefits. Thats like saying the Chinese have Chinese privilege in China. you people are dumb and want what white women have rather than wanting real so called equality. @@SkycometAnimeVamp
im team black women going where they are celebrated. but one thing to point out in dating out (especially with white men), we need to steer clear of weirdos using us as some kind of experiment - especially on these dating apps!
if a man says things like “you’re bad for a black girl” “i’ve never been with a black girl before 😍” or calls you a “chocolate goddess” don’t take these as compliments - run for the hills!!
The first thing you have in quotation marks is a compliment since a lot of BW nowadays have tattoos, fake long lashes, false hair, fake long nails, etc.
So BW aren’t like this with WM?
@@datruff007fetishists exist in any race, sir.
Exactly so question how are you celebrated retard
I learned this and I’m Hispanic and unfortunately met too many white men that saw me as a “spicy Latina” and hence they realized I’m spicy but not “attractive” doing it they yeet lol so it’s true always pay attention what men say they tell on themselves bc they think we are too desperate to want them 😂
I think people these days put too much emphasis on race.
Right.
There has always been an emphasis on race, these conversations are expanding our perceptions. It would be absurd to just act like it doesn't exist and play a role in people's everyday life. In a perfect world it wouldn't be this way, but we don't live in that one.
That's normal when you live in a racist society.
@gabyelizabeth9624 race doesn't really play a role in my life. It only comes up when you are dealing with racists or certain issues regarding race. Honestly I forget what race I am sometimes because I'm mixed and I just think of myself as the generic american everyman. People get hung up on race because they themselves believe that race matters and effects their life when it really doesn't. There isn't a racist boogeyman around every corner, waiting to hate crime you. Obviously there are always gonna be some racist people, but a lot of people are racist themselves and judge people based on stereotypes and it's unnecessary.
Donny?
My husband is Japanese 🇯🇵 and I’m a Black Brit 🇬🇧. He literally never considered dating a Black girl as he didn’t think it was an option. Many people are open to dating us but think we wouldn’t date them. Go find love and always make sure no matter the race they always treat you well 😊💕💕💕💕💕
Was it because of his family/friend circle or did he assume BW did not like Asian men? Happy you're happy :---). My bf is Italian/Irish (mostly Italian). Just curious.
@@shopece8807 Hey Queen 👑 no worries, he’s from Japan directly so he just never thought about the possibility same way that I never thought about Japanese men. I thought I’d marry an Idris Elba look alike… lies was aiming directly for him lol. We got together before BTS 12 years ago 😂 so people wouldn’t mention Asian men at all as being desirable. It literally is a very new phenomenon. But when I met him I was pleasantly surprised so it might not be “the wrapping” you might expect that has what you want inside 😅. His family were chill ironically as they were like if he’s so on it, it must be real love. No way he’s running up our blood pressures if it’s fake. It was my Black side that freaked out 😂 I have family in US. My Jamaican side was super chill as they are mix up mix as a nation and actually have a lot of Chinese mixes within many families so often they grow up directly amongst Asian people 😅💕
@@twinningintokyo5487 You are a disgrace to the African [Black] race. How dare you give not only your love, but your womb to a non-Black spouse. The African ancestors are EXTREMELY disgusted with your decision making!
False hair could be the reason why many men of different races/ethnicities aren't open to dating BW. People tend to stick with their own kind anyway.
@@IIII......Shut up not every bw has a wig. And most men don't give af either way, except sissies maybe
"White men are not the prize. You are the prize" Can we get a round of applause for Madisyn here likeee 👏👏👏
There's no prize it's not a contest..
Nobody is the prize, you’re a regular human being.
@@afrosamourai400But women are making it a contest. and it will back fire, just like every human boys/men Don't want to feel like they are not valued or special. Boys already don't like this idea of chasing women because it makes it seem like they are below prize worthy
Men are the prize we are the ones that provide women are broke.
@@Joshua-eo5hrfacts u see how they spin it when they realiz6they not the prize, all of a sudden no 1 is the prize nah blk w have it f,d up
I haven't gotten far into this video but I'll say this, as a black woman, I've only been in interracial relationships, not on purpose, many of my crushes growing up were black. The black community is very unfair in this topic and it's strange. If men will do what they want, just do what you want. But make sure that when someone asks you why you're in a interracial relationship, don't be like the certain black men we're critiquing and go on about how men of your race are this or that. You should be with someone because you love them, not because you dont love your own race. Edit: the way you compared the priveledge theories between each pairing makes alot of sense!
Unlike you as a BM, I have only dated BW and love it! I never was interested in other and my wife and I are same dark complexion. I know this colorist exist across world, but always saw it as a way other ( whites) used it to divide black people ,like they did for all of the other races, while we are distracted they do what they want. History tells bus thus. Now I don't get into the economics of the situation, except to say this, what in the hell does a white person has to worry about? All the other races are under their thumb. Also, Mass incarceration is by design, so that free or cheap labor can happen. Same crimes that whites do as black will give blacks more time or wrongful conviction, so let's not go crazy with statistics to justify this dating process. People do what they want, but we as black people really need to stop trashing each other and thinking the grass is always greener, which it is not. I can think of many examples of this!
1/3rd of all “black” children born in america of of another ethnic race
That means 1/3 are from fathers “black” women have had sex wiht and produced chidlren with
So the ones opening up are whom again?
Segregation MUST be reintroduced! Africans [Blacks] MUST practice racial purity!!!
Well said
“A man is man” now that’s facts, I’m a 23yr black man & I hope I can find a beautiful black woman someday. I don’t give dam about skin tone I just wan’t a good woman. I Pray for the black community.
I hope for All lives Matter not just Black people.
@@EmmettBrown8 Oh do be quiet.
@@Nethandablack lives matter is such a victim mentality and im glad most did rise above it
Y'all really out here discovering some dating basics. Loyalty to a skin color is such a crazy concept when ya pause and think about it. Like where do ya even draw the line when someone is too light/dark to date? Just remember not to date anyone out of spite or hate. I'd hate to see more young folk getting caught up in extremes.
True if you limit just based on race you’re lowering the chances of getting the other qualities you desire. Anyone who only dates inside their race is limiting their options fundamentally
Only low class white boys date black women and hardly any white men will marry you. Also, good luck with finding justice when you come up missing or your body parts are sprinkled around town by a white boy.
@@awsambdaman every race comes from blk women so i dont kno what we are talking about.
Thank you for posting my book in your thumbnail! I'm Christelyn Karazin, the author of 'Swirling.' My true hope that more black women expand their dating options to ALL men, and choose the BEST man for the job. xx
Pink Pill, aaayyyyyeeee
😮
This delusional grifter is still around? How much money did you steal?
Y'all options have been expanded. To say they weren't, you're saying black women are stupid.
Thank you! I hope not just black women but brown women too understand that they should go where they're respected and loved and not NECESSARILY to brown men.
Heavy on the “men can be shit no matter the race”. I’ve only dated one black guy in my life (I’ve mostly dated white and Hispanics just by happenstance) and he’s treated me the best and most respectful out of them all. I guess I mention this to say to not close the door on *any* race because there are men who will love and celebrate you for being you.
Are you Black? If so, ae you brown or dark skin?
@@teresam5199 it's still true tho??? white men can be shitty too
@@teresam5199not you trying to find any reach to invalidate her experience.
@@teresam5199hand her a Google survey why don’t ya
Whenever i see bm or bw idolize non black people it makes me sick lol
I’m a relationship with a black girl, I don’t like that people are trying to attach politics and labels to this. People like who they like.
Protect your peace
Facts people needa stop labeling and bringing politics into non-poltical stuff
100% agree, I've dated black/mixed girls in the past. I just like who I like. Please stop inserting politics in my stuff
Easy for you to say as likely the most politically privileged person in the relationship.
@@gangstamind187 the women I dated where also apolitical. Not everyone focuses on politics. I understand it's necessary and that people needs justice and our country gets things wrong. But with that being said, I don't find any joy out of surrounding myself with the constant negativity that surrounds politics
I’m black. I’m dating a Punjabi man. He’s my second long term bf. My ex of 3 years was black. When I got out of my relationship with my ex a lot of the black men on the dating apps continuously dogged black women to the point it pushed me away(one black guy said I would’ve been his first black girl like that’s a flex, ick).
Black women go where you are wanted and if that’s not with a black man so be it. Get you a pasta and lobster man. Get you a brown man. Get you a man that loves, honors, respect, cherish, and protects you no matter their race or ethnic group. Don’t limit yourself.
do you think indian will marry you (asians are extremely into color ism)
Bro y’all are really changing your life choices based on the internet? wtf? I thought I was soft for catering to my parents. But never would I do anything for internet folks.
Punjabi ? Indian or Pakistani ?
I dated one one before and even though we didn’t work out he treated me better then any other man I’ve ever been with.
I hope it works out for you both 🤎
@@Im_Z_4747 Indian.
“If your gonna have loyalty, have loyalty for yourself” 😮✨💖woah
The swirlification is craaaazyyy 😭
it's stupid and should be prohibited.
desperate thirsting by some members of a low-status group worsens the overall status of the entire group
all blacks dating outside their racial group are fundamentally thirsting after other races. beacuse black is by far the lowest-status group
How so? Because they don't "match"? .... you don't think they can have genuine love with each other?
@@1bluegreen2 babes what? I meant calling it the swirlification is crazy 💀
@@hellobeanz4009it really is crazy lmaooo who came up with that shit 😂
@@hellobeanz4009 "blue is crazy" vs "calling it blue is crazy" are two DIFFERENT messages. You can't get mad that someone misunderstood your inarticulate sentence. What in the gen-z mess is this. If you drop an entire clause from your sentence ma'am, you have zero reason to mad right now. Do you even understand what a clause is? You didn't even put quotes around it to help make it clear you were talking about something someone said. Focus on finishing your education before you start saying complete rubbish with your chest out and ten toes down. Smh.
Real love isn’t based off skin color. Once we see each other the way God see us, relationships today will be so authentic and meaningful ❤💯💯
Based ON. You cannot base something off of something else.
God has nothing to do with you being in relationship with.
It’s ok to have a type.
Romantic love creates unnecessary problems.
We’re the only race that even makes videos like this, or make dating other races a big deal. This is insane.
And we will continue making videos just like this until ALL blk women wake tf up!
@@divestedconservative26 the ones who cut at our throats about black women (marrying other races, loving our God given hair, naturally wider noses, dark skin etc) are mainly black men. I’ve never been more offended by anyone else but them, my experience. Black ppl kill me, we’re so obsessed with each other.
@@divestedconservative26 the ones who cut at our throats about black women (marrying other races, loving our God given hair, naturally wider noses, dark skin etc) are mainly black men. I’ve never been more offended by anyone else but them, my experience. Black ppl kill me, we’re so obsessed with each other. Also, just looked at your ig, I agree with you to some degree, but calling black men monkeys is crazy. That’s gross.
Seriously. Blck folks look absolutely CRAY. Particularly bw because almost all the irr content is bw. Not even nonbm give a sht. It looks INSANE. To be associated with such a group is embarrassing. Imagine needing the internet to tell you how to date. Where is your mother???
@divestedconservative26 If they take so long to wakeup then what use would dating be? If they can't see abuse and h8tred easily with one group of men then they.wont see it with the next. You're advocating to send mentally incapable beings to other groups. And I dont understand why.
I feel you shouldn’t date based on skin color but on how someone treats you. I married my husband, who’s Arabic. I immediately just thought he was super attractive, but he treats me so well, so that’s how we kept dating. ❤️ hope everyone finds the one for them!
You made a stupid decision. Arabs think of black people as slaves. His family members will treat your kids like filth
Same, but with an SE Asian guy ❤
I never cared about skin color, but I notice we are looked at when walking hand in hand in the streets
Women of his race look at me more instead of just passing by, but it doesn’t seem unkind
Men of my own race (yt) sometimes give us both bad looks 🙄
Arab here dating a BM, its nice knowing theres women out there like you that dont stereotype and assume we are all polygamous wife beating terrorists 😂 I wish the stereotype was how passionate we are and how intense our love is! I write my girl poems and love letters as often as I can, she is my saint 🥲
Also ask your man about Ahmed Khaled Tawfik, he was an Egyptian romance novelist, his books are a treasure trove of beautiful quotes, this one being my favorite:
"Until the stars burn out, and all worlds end, until the planets collide, and the suns wither, until the moon’s light dies, and the rivers and seas run out, until I grow so old that my memories fade away, and my tongue cannot say your name, until my heart beats for the last time, only then .. will I maybe stop, maybe”
@@harvest44492are you married to bm?
@@NBaa2123 Not yet but I am planning on proposing, its gonna be a whole ass day leading up to it
I'm a whitey married to a black woman. We met online (POF) and on our first date (Starbucks) I told her my intention was to get married and if we were dating after 3 years from that day I would break up with her. I think that is important (more than race) date with the intention to marry (both men and women). Date for qualities not race.
Yes I had a lot to learn about hair and some other things that I didn't know growing up in a small homogenous town - but I don't think that is a big deal. My wife is a good woman and I am lucky to have her and I think 📯 she is lucky to have me. We have a good family and a nice farm.
Date with the intention to marry.
My wife has dark skin and she is very sensitive and feminine. She cries when chickens die.
😍😍😍😍
“I’m a whitey” and “she cries when chicken die” 😂 hilarious
@@MNIU_ I'm always happy when my words create a smile, smirk or laugh. I checked out your videos. It looks like you talk about tough topics. 👏 👏 👏
@@MNIU_😂😂😂😂😂
@porter9494 Associating yourself with architects and inventors on the basis of skin color is not only silly - it's misinformed. Architecture evolved in many cultures across the globe prior to several cultures even being aware of each other. Invention too seemed to occur regardless of skin color. It continues to do so in modern times. What has changed is we now have the luxury of associating with this culture or that based on our own intellectual whimsy. The truth of the matter is humans invented and built in order to better serve the needs of the people who lived in the area.
One final point - the extreme majority of people consume invention rather than invent. They live inside buildings others built. You and I are not superior or inferior due to our skin, religion or even our parents. Our superiority or inferiority come completely from our individual abilities and contributions not our membership in a group such as race.
I gave this another watch, I gotta add something if I can. The shaming of the "black angry woman" is a big problem too. To me it's a way to silence females in general from being able to advocate for themselves or draw boundaries. I'd rather her know what she wants and be able to articulate her needs instead of have me guess and then take it out in toxic ways that aren't healthy for anyone. Never stop being forward as to not seem "bossy" or whatever other bullshit they cast. It's a way of minimizing needs so guys don't have to show up right or take accountability.
Im a white guy but dating a white guy just because he is white is exactly the same problem in the beginning as dating a black guy just because he is black. The more moral you are and understanding of those morals, you will be able to discern good character judgment; you will be able to judge a man by his fruits. How are you gonna judge a man by his fruits if you don’t know what fruits are.
That’s pretty much what she’s saying in the video
Perfectly said! 👏👏👏👏
Most Black women are dating interracially because they’re trying to break a cycle of unproductive same race loyalty that is ingrained in their traditions and culture. These women don’t want to end up alone and unmarried because they’ve put all of their efforts towards finding a compatible Black man who aren’t choosing them in return. So, they are opening up to new experiences. It is unfair to tell Black women that choosing to date interracially should be based on morals when that same message isn’t said to Asian, White and Hispanic women. Asian and Hispanic women were dating White men for citizenship and financial stability for their extended families. Nobody told them not to do that. Black women must seek what all women seek, freedom of choice. She will make mistakes as she learns and then find that sweet spot that benefits her.
Fruits?
@@whisper2284Tou don’t see the difference between bw opening up to dating other races and professing their live for white men?
That Kodak Black guy really isn't the brightest crayon in the box, is he?
Well his a rapper we don’t expect them to be very clever😂 but I must say his one of the first dark skin men I’ve heard actually say the truth about why they don’t like black women they hate their own skin Color. I’ll give him points for that 😂
He ate the crayons and the box bc he was hungry
He sounds so dumb and he has serious self hate issues! These the type of DUSTIES that love and obsess with LIGHTSKINNED women lol
He has serious self hate issues it’s scary smh 🤦🏿♀️ LIGHTSKINNED wm seem very dominate to me
She used a rapper as a talking point. This lovely young lady hates all black men and it's apparent. This is something a racist fox news reporter would do. We got to do better as a people.
as a mixed girl with a black mom and white dad, its been really interesting being “pasta and lobster” type of mixed. it comes with a lot of judgement. people really be looking at you sideways because you got a black mom and a white dad.
Are you ok? You aren’t treated terribly are you?
Girl biracial people are so beautiful. Believe me ppl are jealous of you and your family. Let them side eye, they hate to see black women prosper in healthy relationships.
My Kids are the same as you .
You guys are perfect the way you are.
You’re a human being the same as everyone else always remember that.
ppl may judge/fear/hate because they don't understand. don't worry about them :) i think they're just not used to seeing that kind of relationship, especially since, as madisyn mentioned, it's usually white woman/black man. the dynamic is changing though. plus imo you're lucky; i always see memes abt mixed kids having ethnic moms being more in tune w their culture, than if it were the other way around lol
Really? My daughter I think gets extra nice treatment because she is from a black mom.
I'm fr, I did a video on it, and how I think she would be very different if it was a palm color mom of a biracial.
BUT...I am very confident and strong. And her dad doesn't play either, we come across as competent and "ready" and that might be why they are very....differential imo
Sis so happy you posted this. I wish as a Black community would stand as one. Black American or Black Africans or any Blacks. Its unfortunate that's not the case. I was in hospital after double mastectomy and alot of the staff were Black Africans. Sadly they were not very nice or attentative to me but would go running when a person of another race would ask for assiistance. I was in tears it was unfortunate but an experience I'll never forget. 💔
The distinction between black women dating out and black men dating out that i have noticed is it really seems like black women focus on the happiness and sense of respect and appreciation they feel in their relationship whereas black men focus on how horrible terrible, masculine, unlovable, overweight etc they think black women are. It's like they hate us more than they like the women they are with, being with this woman is more a way to communicate a feeling of disdain and contempt for us than find happiness for themselves.
Exactly. Two different outcomes!
The divestor movement says otherwise
@@bigbawlzlebowski8886 Lies. You're not a Divestor so please don't speak for a group you're not part of. Thanks
Absolutely, BW are motivated by love and BM are motivated by hate ( internal and external)
She just spent the entire video reading negative statistics as if that matters.
As a product of this kind of relationship, i love seeing them and making it more normal bc people always assume that if you’re mixed your mom is white and dad is black. But i will say my mom still ended up a divorced, single mom so don’t go into it thinking it’s a lifesaving fairytale. Men still aint shit don’t matter the race
That’s what I’m saying, white men can be just as bad as black men. They won’t make better fathers either. Race don’t matter
Men ain’t shit u said but half your DNA came from a man’s testicles
I’m the same, my dad is white and my mom is black and they have been happily divorced since I was 6 months old. It isn’t a guarantee.
The assumption isn't out of nowhere tho...like out of about every 10 Black-mixed kids about 7 have a Black father non-white mom. Also, yeah we know a non-BM won't erase all of our woes but hey. BW/WM have maybe the lowest divorce rates still.
@@shopece8807lol “white “ supremacy really loves u
To thinksence he “numbers “ are better for a certain interracial relationship we should all do that cause you know… it wont solve “white “ supremacy 😂😂
Hi, South African here
I'm always so confused when African American women are like "society doesn't think we're beautiful"??? So many beauty standards match the way you ladies already are and based on what I've seen, the men in your country find you very attractive.
I did not know black men were pushing their issues and self hatred on you guys.
I wish y'all could see how the rest of us you. You're a beautiful group ❤
Love from SA
❤😊💋😘
South African too❤
TBH, the overwhelming Majority of black men love black women, even looking at marriage statistics. To be honest, i think she's just delusional
It's because we're instilled with the "phantom" of racism the moment we step into public school. White people in the US tell us racism this racism that and so we think everything is racist even when 99% of the time it's not.
Don't fall for it. BM and BW are both traumatized and refuse to look at themselves to make themselves viable partners for one another. BW turn feminine around WM. BM are respected as men and turn masculine around other ethnicities.
As a black man I totally agree with everything mentioned here very impactful content.
I'm white and agree too, love have no color, people be wake up
I was told I don't do dark skin women by a man who was alot darker then me, it cemented that feeling of being ugly growing up. Now I'm dating a white man who tells me all the time how beautiful I am and apparently that makes me a traitor to my race. Now the conversation is me being anti black because of this. Honostly I'll never win in this conversation so I decided to ignore the negativity and just be happy and be appreciated.
Why do you black women get in there feelings so much I'm a dark-skinned man as well and I prefer yellow Bones in redbones... That's just like y'all having preference two.. y'all don't date nobody that is shorter than you or that's broke with no money it's the same thing preferences it's just what I prefer..
@@ogtwin_5046 what does short and broke got to do with black men being racist towards their own race of women?
Literally all races of women prefer a man with money that can provide and majority of women prefer a man the same height or taller than them, still black men decide to bully and discriminate the skin tones of only their race of women
@@ogtwin_5046black men also get in their feelings. When they see oh black women aren’t waiting for us at the finish line after it doesn’t work out for them they get butt hurt. Now I’m going for Asians and white bois. It’s not even a self hate thing- I think it’s more self love when you see your not liked in a certain area so you leave 😂.
@@number-uz1es sweetheart you are so much wanted over here not only you want it but we need y'all in our life... We value y'all and love y'all unconditionally ... The question is do y'all feel the same way about us black men????
@@ogtwin_5046okay, but you saying it’s skin color as a preference to an entire group, with beautiful women, and the only thing keeping you from pursuing them is skin color, that’s weird. Every girl WILL sleep with a short guy. The ones who say they haven’t are liars. Hot is hot. Spoken standards are performative.
As a black woman, I'm currently getting to know this other black man and it seems too good to be true honestly. We would both be considered "oreos" or whatever but I have never felt such a beautiful connection with a black man. We both share in the same faith, we both love discussing deep and insightful topics, we both have big aspirations and we can talk for ages about black/African culture (what we love about it, it's issues and our own cultures) and because of that there is this level of relatability that I couldn't have with a non-black man. Credit to our Christian faith, he also understands what it is to be a true man, how to step into his masculine role, allowing me to be feminine as a woman, getting that 'princess treatment' I have been denied of because of always being made to feel too masculine as a black woman. It's beautiful. For me it was about understanding myself first and how I wanted to be treated and I happened to find a black man who gives me that "pasta and lobster" energy. For me, the ultimate W💯
It’s easier to build a foundation and relationship with those who are grounded and connected in faith. Expound on that and make it the focal point of your relationship, it’ll work out if you do.
I wish you and your man a long and happy time together!
Love to see it ❤
I get it. I’m not a fan of the dishonorable actions of White women but honestly being with my own is just more important than anything else. Interracial dating is dystopian and gross most of the time because it’s unnatural for one and insincere for a second because most of them are brainwashed and doing so for attention or self destruction.
I feel the same way. Finding someone of your own race is winning.
I'm really glad you addressed how many black men have been given passes for certain behaviors.
So I'm biracial, my dad is black and my mom is white. We were low income and my dad failed as a man on all levels. He also decided that he embrace the negative stereotypes that surround black men. My mom worked and paid all the bills and got us out of the "hood". So I have witnessed firsthand what happens when black men decide to feed into the negative stereotypes instead of fighting against them. I also find myself not being as attracted to black men due to my experiences with my father and the other men my mom has dated.
I just wanted to add: I also have witnessed firsthand how black women are treated by black men.
I also notice they like for the women to pay for most of everything.
I’ve seen them stand behind their women at the register and even argue with them about what they will, won’t, and can’t pay for. I thought they only treated black women like this, but I’ve started to see this much more with non black women as well (especially white women).
Providing is just not in them. This is why they’re associated with struggle love.
They treat all women the same, no matter their race. They might praise one more over the other, but in the end, they’re all treated badly.
But when black men say they’re not attracted to black women because of similar experiences with their mothers, all of a sudden it’s a problem. You don’t like black men cause of daddy issues. Fine. But when black men say the same thing, it’s “but your mothers black”. Double standards
@@RST94 even if they love their mom its the same. there is something mentally missing in black men which is why black countries look the way they do. they have no natural instinct to protect, provide and build no logic
I gotta say, this feels like another fetish.
My sister dated a black man and had 2 kids with him before they broke up. She had told me on several occasions the worst experiences she had was always with back women that took exception to the fact that she was with a black man and had mixed race kids. It was weird, and frankly super racist.
My husband is white, and is law enforcement. The number of black women that have been aggressively coming on to him while at work or the gym has been really uncomfortable for him. This is especially so because he is wearing a wedding band.
At the end of the day my advice to people is to just seek connection with people who are kind and respectful of you. You will eventually find what you're looking for. But don't try and judge what kind of partner someone would be based on their race.
I "swirled" back in 2013 and been with my white husband for 11 years ❤ and he loves me whole heartedly and has treated me better than any other black man ever has. We found each other but I recommend date who is for you not what society says. ❤❤❤
Congratulations on finding your rock & soul mate🥰
Omg! 2013 was 11 years ago!!!! Naur!
❤❤❤❤❤
so happy for you!
@@DrUmarJohnson1Hush Tyrone!
As someone who used to be in an interracial relationship, I completely understand why black women are starting to date outside our race. Growing up, black boys either didn't like me, or they practically harassed me. The first person that truly showed interest in me was white, so at the time, that was my type. Luckily, I've found myself in a healthy relationship with a bm now and I couldn't be happier. So, at the end of the day, love who loves you, and I wish all black women the best🩷💜
but black men that say they date white/asian girls because black girls never showed interest in them, why do people slander that?
@sofi3535 a lot of black men put black women down when they date outside of their race. Not all of them, but a lot do. Even at a young age. I remember being 11 years old and the boys in my class spewed out racist and colorist ideologies without even knowing the harm they were causing. Some of them grow up keeping those same ideals, which is why it's a bit off putting when some black men say they prefer a lighter skintone and/or a different race
@@sofi3535 Correction, those blk boys were often only interested in a very particular type of black girl (popular, trendy, etc. and typically gravitated towards the popular boys), but they themselves would not show the Blk girls who were more quiet, shy types, alternative or nerdy, the time of day even if they were more similarly matched in looks and interests. Then comes the huge exaggeration that all Blk girls didn't like them, because they were "different" and not "cool" enough. Maybe they liked anime, or comics or rock music, of course, they neglect to mention that they did not go out of their way to talk to the black girls who have similar interests. It's the lies / half-truths for me🙄
@@tonyt1680 maybe bc those shy, quiet girls don’t show interest bc they’re too shy to do so 🤷🏽♀🤷🏽♀
@@sofi3535 facts! w have the same issues in the black community
I use to be on the "Black mem only," train. At 30, I decided to broaden my prospects. I've always been attracted to other races but would only seriously date black men. Im excited about this new journey.
Keep your standards and self-esteem high and date/marry out and up. Best!
Thank you for the encouragement. Working on my self esteem, confidence and love for self is what has shaped my perspective on being open to dating out. I'm worthy of all good things.@@teresam5199
My same exact story. I was soooooo unbelievably pro black. But now I even go to different spots to hang out at and it’s so nice
bro u could find a black men in a sec u just dont find most of em attractive 💀
love who loves you.
“We can break them down more easily” ew wtf. Keep this man away from the dating pool
as a black women married to a white man . Black men didnt take me serious and my husband is just so sweet and amazing and take care of me so . 🤷🏾♀️
Did u worship him cus of his color?
@@NBaa2123 why are you assuming that just because she's with a white man, she worships him because of his colour? Do you think black men who date white women also worship them because of their colour?
Don't come back!
huh? no no no the black men you wanted didn’t take you seriously
the ones that you dated did not. do not generalize the entire race.
As a straight black man it breaks my heart seeing how we as black men have failed our women and have practically forced them to have to look outside of their race to find and feel real, genuine love and appreciation. I watched this whole video with slight pain in my chest lol smh. We’ve put black women through so much and then have the nerve to turn around and blame them for their frustrations with us. I know for me, I want to love and marry a black woman whenever that opportunity comes across my radar so I can only do my part in doing right by the women of my race. I just hope that black men as a collective can wake up and realize that we need to change how we treat our women and not just deflect and act as if we’ve done nothing wrong.
Thank you brother. Lord protect this man and deliver his divinely chosen queen to his caring capable hands.
Go with love brother.
Black women are not "your" or Black men's women. Start there.
@@swvolleyball9137 Thank you you’re prayers mean too much to me you don’t even know 🙏🏽
@@majestymxnt7384 Black women forever! Snow bunnies NEVER!!!!
I appreciate this message. Hopefully the younger generation can love on each other but honestly I doubt it will happen in today’s time. We are tired of being disrespected and looked over. I want to be with a black man but how much longer can I keep hearing how ugly we are, how fat we are, how undesirable we are, how manly we are, how nappy our hair is, how we aren’t marriage worthy, how we’re too independent or how we are low tier women ? We are tired and done
I married a Hispanic man, not because of the color of his skin but because he is the first man to treat me exactly how I want to be treated. Before him I only dated within my race and the list of disrespect I encountered is unbelievable. I love my man and I’m so thankful that I took a chance to date outside my race. We’ve been together for 10 years now and have two beautiful children. Love sees no color ❤
Black women are loyal to the black men they find attractive, not the ones that aren't on their raiders. You should have added that part.
Right, the whole “loyalty to black men”’is such a lie. Like I’ve heard this said over the internet, but it’s not because black women are loyal to black men 🙄
Growing up in Los Angeles, I've always dated in IR. I was engaged to a very wealthy Australian white man who was generous but controlling and abusive. Dropped him like a bad habit. My husband is a Taino Dominican and he is a high earner, a generous provider who is also my best friend. We are trying to have our first child. I live a very soft life. I pay only the electricity bill because I want to not because I have to. It's amazing that I found him as we both live on south beach, we found love in a hopeless place lol!!! Go where you are appreciated, respected and loved. Most importantly have standards, expectations and boundaries. BTW I'm Angolan american 5'7'', my husband 6'4 and we are both 41.
Your story is amazing id love to have more friends like you
You ain’t Black. You African. All these dating issues seem to be with immigrants and suburban Black folks. The more whites you live around, the weirder you become.
"dropped him like a bad habit" I love this 😭
You found love in a hopeless place 😂! Girl, you need some help. If you can hook a man in Miami, you can hook one anywhere! (That's like making it in NY.) Congratulations, you really gave me hope. I hope I find my person.
Looks like your love is dependant on how big thr bag is "Gold Digger". Good luck tho if that's the most important quality you're looking for 🤷🏾♂️
"Get you a kimchi and bibimbap" made me SCREAM
This video reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my exes. She was from Atlanta and one concern she had before dating me is that her father warned her of white men fetishizing black women. I think you mad a great point in the reverse. I’m happily married and yes my wife is a beautiful black woman but I don’t love her BECAUSE she is black but because she is my best friend and the love of my life. Be open to love in anyone and prioritize your happiness ladies.
I don't know I met a white guy who I found very attractive and he's been treating me very well. However he told me he had never dated outside of his race before and I don't know he's slight remarks make me feel reluctant to fully pursue anything with him, I myself have never dated out my race so it's both new to us but there's things he says which make me feel like he might be fetishisizing me.
@@latifa3995 All I can recommend is talk to your man about it. Try and find out where it is coming from. Personally my wife and I find humor in our differences and pointing out stupid stereotypes. But a person can usually tell when a comment comes from an either a cruel place or an ignorant one. Ignorance can be forgiven and educated, hate cannot. As both of you have never dated outside of your race before there maybe some things you say as well that he finds just as odd. Talk to him and if the love is there it will work out. Good luck and God bless you
i’m a child of an interracial, my mom is black and my dad is white, and i’ve learnt through them that love isn’t based on color, culture, or wealth. They were brought up completely opposite to each other but they make it work. I’ve heard stories of the backlash for their marriage (only on my moms side) and it makes me sad that adults care more about the color of your skin than the quality of you heart.
But all the comments here is saying how much more rich white men are
I think that culture still definitely plays a big role though. Including for interracial or international dating. In most cases they actually share a lot of cultural elements. I mean Black Americans and White Americans aren't actually THAT different, both speak English and have a lot of shared American culture. On top of that now a lot of pop culture, mostly from America but sometimes from other countries (like Eurovision songs) are shared all across the West and also in big cities across the world so it's definitely possible you'll have the same cultural references and also values and traditions regardless of where you live. So you'll still ejf up sharing culture even if you have very different ethnicities. Of course there's also many cultural differences and sometimes people still get by but honestly in our globalised and Westernised world, people aren't actually that different culturally as we used to be. And even then whenever people do share different cultures they don't necessarily share that much of it if your partner speaks a different language and it's too hard for you to learn you won't learn their movies and music and won't pass it down to children. Is this a good thing? I mean, the fact that humanity can be closer is good, but the destroying of many traditions in favor of specifically western culture is pretty bad.
@@TiktokBro154 okay weirdo. Pathetic as hell.
This is so well put! I’m so glad I found your channel 🙌🙌
As a straight black man, I just have to say that as long as their happy dating outside of the race. I'm fine with it. You should go where you are celebrated.
I agree. I don't think any black man should be upset about it. A lot of these women have suffered, and they are just trying to find happiness elsewhere. I just don't like it when they date outside their race and bash black men still. I think it's trash when black men do the same to black women as well.
Honestly it’s wild how many glares my man and I get from black men when we are out. He’s gotten comments about it to his face.
@@user-ct3lg7mw9tLearn how to differentiate opinion from approval
@@Blue-wv3leThat’s weird, but thats not all BM do you.
@@imanigordon6803 I didn’t say it was all black men. But there is significantly more negative feedback from black men than other groups. On the opposite side of the spectrum I’ve received the most positive feedback from black women.
In my opinion , the pasta lobster trend on social media is just that, a funny trend. Why it was created by a black woman female rapper and popularized on social media by black women, I’ve seen other women of color (Asian, Latina) as well indulge in it for fun, even white women.
I think this whole “bw are glorifying wm” thing is just blown out of proportion as all races of women have participated in this trend! I do think this trend kind of deletes the claims that black men have came up with that “black women are undesirable”, and it makes them look bad that other men can see the beauty in their women that they can’t.
Bw glorifying wm is most definitely not blown out of proportion. You don't see bw with wm everywhere because White women are the first option.
Latina isn’t a race, sorry.
@@FoxxyFatimaI’m referring to non black latinas
@@55CINCO55Nothing is wrong with that. White women should be white men’s first choice as that’s their race counterpart.
Black women definitely do not glorify white men. They glorify black men and black love.
@@55CINCO55nothing is wrong with that. I’m sure everyone’s first option is their race…
I never got more shit for dating than when I started dating a white man. I had dated literally everything; black and Latino men, Asian women, Afro Latina women (being a bisexual Afro-Latina myself), and nobody moved. Once I dated that first white guy tho, “you don’t love yourself”, “you’re a sell out”, “why don’t you like black men?” Now, I’ve been treated poorly by white men too, but the best I’ve been treated was also by white men. I don’t believe I ever dated based off a racial preference, I just know I never got more shit for who I dated until it was a white man.
The most shit I got was from dating a Puerto Rican who looked Italian. I truly believe it was because people thought he was White.
People talk about men being gay but there are far more women of all races that are gay percentage wise than men.
do you get more "shit" from BM or BW about it?
@@ombb3206 BM lol they’re very mad. Sometimes BW just seem confused. They say things like, they can’t be with “pink meat” , or that “I can’t be with someone who can’t relate to the black experience” , which is valid. I always found as long as your partner respects your race and culture and makes the effort to understand, it was never a problem
@@ariavenger I think initially I individualised the issue, since as a BM I only ever hear BW vilifying BM for dating outside their race, I thought BM generally didn't have an issue with it. It seems I am in a bubble and many BM have an issue with it.
Would you say this reaction of BM to your situation has put you off pursuing or dating BM?
I was in a tiktok panel of "pro black" people dissing & insulting black people who do a lot for the black community but just happened to be open to dating non black. They even used anti asian slurs while saying "we can't be racist" to excuse the ignorance.
I love my fellow black people but black people being open to dating non black doesn't mean they're self hating. You can appreciate your own self and appreciate a person's beauty no matter their race.
Don't let the toxic people in our communities project onto you. Most of us black people are ok with interracial dating.
The Internet turns any movement, discussion, or idea into a cartoonish version of itself
Frr
What alternative do you propose?
Don't blame it all on the internet. I've seen this kind of stuff play out in real life.
@@sheritownsend5359 😂😂😂😂 yes but the internet exaggerates
Black ppl getting right w one another or at the very least taking steps to.@@brettsinger9565
as someone who dated a white boy the grass isn’t greener on the other side. he took advantage of the fact that i was his first love, ended up fetishizing me and saw me as an accessory more than a girlfriend. we mutually ended things
Thank you for being honest about your experience.
I had a similar experience. Live and learn, gotta look out for the signs.
So Go Back To Tyrone!
@@G.G.276lmao they only got 2 options. Trevor or Tyrone , they don’t know how to read between the lines. After getting all them degrees they still don’t know about context clues 😂.
@@G.G.276hell at least Tyrone won't fetishize and take advantage of her, I'd think anyone with a brain would leave a pat for a Tyrone
As a white man with a black girlfriend I feel like it's important to say that "loyalty" and conversely dating outside of your race being "disloyal" seems like it does a disservice to the reality, due to being "loyal" a good thing, and being "disloyal" a bad thing. Dating within your race is neither good nor bad, as well as the opposite. Nobody should feel pressured to date purely based on race, and I would hope that each individual would choose their partner not by race, but by who they are as a person. Love who you love.
New subseiber here. I'm a white guy, but I'm also gay, so I'm not necessarily qualified to give commentary on this topic as a whole. I did have a thought when you mentioned the "percentage of black men who are gay," because I'm attracted to and have been with all kinds of guys (meaning that I don't really have a strong preference for ethnicity, height, body type, etc) and I've always found it interesting that most black men (in MY EXPERIENCE, please no one fight me), seem to want to go for other black men and/or tend to be more likely to be "discreet" when it comes to hooking up or meeting up for a date. Its entirely possible that its just a perspective thing. Ive just always found it interesting that darker-skinned guys tend to be more hesitant or discreet about getting together than lighter-skinned guys of color, regardless of how much we seemed to connect. I know there's plenty of people who just arent attracted to me regardless of ethnicity, it just makes me wonder the parallels and differences between experiences.
(I really hope I didnt offend anyone with my wording or anything. It's just somewhat of a pattern I've noticed in the past, and this video made me think of it)
As an older black woman who's both developmentally and physically challenged I'm completely okay with interracial couplesand interracial dating especially since I've slowly realized over my 40+years of being single that it'll never ever ever ever ever be something that I'll ever get to experience...so my advice to all of you beautiful able bodied black women who are in interracial relationships my advice to you is to ignore the haters and keep living your best life
You don't sound developmentally challenged at all. You should like a very beautiful, intelligent woman. I hope that someone will pursue you, with love and romance, and protect and stay with you
Sorry to hear about that, you might want to check the ForeverAloneDating subreddit. I'll bet you can find a man who feels the same way about himself to pair with
It doesn't matter what the race of the men. What matter is your taste of men. My cousin dated two white men. One used her as a side chick and married. Other is a drug dealer that lived with his mom. Both left her as single mother. Don't look at the race look at their character. It not a race group problem it your taste in men. Just like the problem isn't black women it those mens' taste in women.
It is a race group problem she literally just showed you the stats. The difference is bm complain are mainly complaining about aesthetics and so called “attitudes” bw are complaining about literal abuse!!
Eh sounds like she barely done any vetting properly. Also without a doubt what you mentioned that stuff is way more likely with black men way more issues and higher chance.
Always remember a person is more than a group they are apart of. Do all black women think and act the same no. Do black men think and act the no. Everybody stop just looking at the group look the person. Know a lot of good black men that love his wife family and know one who don't. Just I know a lot of good women love her husband and family and one that cheats and abused their kids. Like my cousin 's mother stabbing him a 8 yrs old boy at the time and his 6 yrs old brother with a knife. Guess what he doesn't blame black women and he married to one. He just blame his crazy ass mother.
@@fin4008 You lowkey just opened up my eyes, this is correct
Problem is women choose to be side chicks knowingly. Women want to be a man clearly better than them, then cry about the results. People need to stop being narcissists and stay on their actual level. Men too.
This Black women and other races dating shift has quietly been going on for the last 2 decades and longer.
Black men are very afraid to see this shift. Look up the statistics. Our marriages have a higher long term success rate. But date for love not the color of his skin.
Why are black men afraid? As a black man I encourage black women to date out.
Why would they be afraid? Everyone self esteem ain’t tied to being married
They have a higher success rate because BW/WW are less than 1% of the population and also BM have it easier dating you statement doesn’t make any sense
@@davruck1They'll no longer have attack dogs and work horses. Who will protest for them and stand between them and police? Who will offer them homes to stay in while all they're offering is 🍆, disease sperm and headache? The more black women date and marry out the less doormats for black men.
BM really don't care, we just want y'all to stop talking down on bm.
I am a white guy who likes Black girls (not exclusively or in a weird/cringey way as a lot of white people have a kinda insulting “try something new” mindset towards interracial dating). And I have to say, I wouldn’t feel great knowing a Black girl was into me out of some unresolved issues toward Black men. Like if I found she was dating me BECAUSE I was white, that would make me feel so weird. I know I’m not the victim or point of this video, but just to say I agree that we should pursue who we are compatible with and love, and yes there may be real conversations that need to happen around the complexities and realities of interracial relationships, but ultimately I don’t think it’s probably healthy to put white people on a pedestal and date us BECAUSE we’re white.
I know no one asked for my two cents. But there they are.
As a black man, I agree with you. They should date whoever they want for whatever reason that want. But. But. They should also know that ascribing character to race is racist.
as a white person i always thought the reason straight black women dated within their race was bc living in a world where misogynoir is rampant, a black man would at least understand the racism part, but this is so much more complex and nuanced than i ever thought!!!
I think that’s how it would’ve happened ideally, but when you’re dealing with a people who have been hated and encouraged to hate their phenotype by a world that despised their blackness…it’s no wonder that soon after emancipation BM began petitioning the Supreme Court for access to WW. The proximity to whiteness has long been sought after by some Black people … often because of the perception of privilege it would afford. In short it’s very difficult to form a lasting union with someone who hates him/her blackness… especially if they don’t realize it.
Black women and Black males actually have very little in common.
Black men do not care about and participate in racism against Black women so you thought wrong.
@@swvolleyball9137 that actually does make a lot of sense, it just feels a bit counterintuitive to me!! like, precisely bc theyre also oppressed they should want to shelter their partners from that oppression?? but yes this totally makes sense
Most people naturally prefer to date within their race
I'm open to any race as long as they meet the bar.
That’s an interesting point, I think an adequate number of African-Americans tend to relinquish outlandish standards or lower requirements when seeking someone of an alternate race, sometimes out of spite or a feeling of induced desperation. A lot of black men have strict requirements regarding physique, mindset, and key characteristics but settle for a woman of another culture who is none of those things. Inversely, a lot of black women have strict requirements regarding monetary value, attractiveness/size, and interests but settle for men of alternate cultures who don’t meet those standards. It’s honestly perplexing. To give each other a hard time over minuscule difference and attributes but show others utmost flexibility. So I applaud your viewpoint and consistency.
Can u even meet your own standard
@@JeremiahD3721 obviously.
@@worldtree2027 that's not a black woman thing that's humans in general who fetishize other races. Some of what you listed as requirements aren't miniscule at all.
@@sonderexpeditions yea right……
We need stop the one person is a prize crap. Women are not the prize and men are not the prize. Your relationship between the two is the prize. Both should upkeep it, celebrate it, and protect it.
True. Anyone, man or woman who calls themselves 'the prize' is a walking red flag.
agreed
Tell that to black men
There's no prize because it's not a contest..people suck lol..
I hope it stops. It's silly and childish.
As a non black woman I never realized that black women actually wanted black men. I always assumed no one wanted them. Esp bc they are so rude to black women especially!
💩💩💩💩💩
Growing up all I ever heard about what black dudes thought about black women was that we're loud, we're ugly, too masculine, too sassy, nobody want to deal with it, ect.ect. I love to see black women with all races of men/people. The beauty standards are changing and I'm glad that all kinds of people are seeing the beauty that black women are
That lies black guy isn't like that
That’s what white guys say behind your back.
Stop lying . Most black men aren’t like Kodak lol
U learned that from government the enemy u can’t walk in our shoes u can’t relate to our life
I'm mid 50's and have dated black men and non-black men since I was in my early 20's. Non-black men have always been interested. In my twenties, I had a black man ask me,' Is that what you want?', while he was on a date with a white woman. When I pointed that out, he said that he was just using her. In front of her... she just giggled 🙄. I definitely was judged harshly back then by black people. Some black men wouldn't date me after asking and hearing that I have dated more than only black men.
Girl, I was beaten and graped by my then boyfriend because he asked me if I’d ever gone out with a white guy (I was 21 at the time). I told him that I had and suddenly saw stars. The crazy thing was 1) we were all in the military, and 2) he had a whole baby with a white baby mom back in Chicago!
Needless to say, shortly after that horrific experience i divested completely.
@@swvolleyball9137sorry you experienced that.
@@swvolleyball9137 that's horrific 😢
@@swvolleyball9137did you sue him ?
@@swvolleyball9137 I'm so sorry, did you press charges ?
I love seeing BW dating outside of our race. I love the broadening of horizons.
Whoever treats you right is the answer
I saw Christelyn Karazin's book in the thumbnail and had to click on this video. I'm so glad to see so many BW open to IR current year. Loyalty to BM is a losing game. The numbers just are not there, some of them are gay, and the most successful ones consider it a right of passage to be able to get a woman who is light, bright, and white. These men complain about BW's lack of softness, but then are not a soft place. Being soft with the wrong man is dangerous. You can literally lose your life.
Don’t forget the DL bros gifting their wives/partners with HIV.
Karazin got divorced by a WM and is with a BM now LMAO
@McOofy @McOofy I'm in her private group, so I know for a fact you are loud and wrong. She got divorced after 20 years and is still on great terms with her ex, what does her divorce have to do with anything? Her marriage is character above color, not only date WM
Absolutely 💯
"What does her divorce have to with anything?" A WM filed for divorce and left her goofy, and she teaches how to "Swirl." You being in her group shows you weren't in many AP classes/ didn't compete in state academic competitions growing up.@@AndyyWithAY
As someone who is black and sees myself dating a different race before a black man I’m ready to see if I’m abt to get called out…
Do it do it 😂❤
tbh i'm not black i'm asian but in all honesty do what makes you feel you happy but just be weary and careful of when you're dating outside your race but as long as that person is aware of the issues at hand and acc help the best they can with it then the sky is the limit all the best now!
im a black man and i support you sis.. im not going to call you out because i can't even find other black men to be friends with unless you act like a nigga doing nigga bs
@@ogome2927her issues?
Same. My friends love to take the piss because all of my crushes so far have been white but there are no black boys in my year at school. I go to a private school in the UK that's diverse with other races but somehow I've always been the only black student (or one of two or three at most) in my year group. I genuinely don't have a race preference (I find race preferences weird because there are incredibly handsome men amongst all races) but I see myself with a white boy purely because of availability. If I went to a black majority school then I would see myself with a black boy.
Black men are the second group of people to date outside their race the most, but also are the number one group of people with the most interracial divorces.
Non black women kinda confirm what black women have been saying when you look at the divorce rates of interracial marriages with black men.
How are they confirming it when black men at the same time are the second most highest group to date outside their race?
Please get off social media 😂😂😂😂 go touch grass. Asians and Hispanics date outside their race more. Y’all believe statistics and social media like 99% date within their own race
@@holz131😂😂😂 because even if they date out the most they also are getting broken up with or divorced the most so it proves that bw aren’t the only problem
@@holz131look at the divorce rates… then look at the steadily rising single mother rates in non-black communities. Even the most obtuse person can’t ignore the truth.
Currently IR marriage unions between WM/BW have surpassed WM/WW in success percentage. BM/Any Race are at the bottom with the most divorces.
@McOofy Good point! It's very sad that BM seldom marry, so most BW don't wed. Men do the asking, after all. I think the BW marriage rates will start to improve now, especially because more of us are opening our options.
I'm in an interracial relationship myself and i don't understand why more people don't break this weird racial segregation. Why is there still a them and us mentality?
We need to heal, otherwise we will make the same mistakes we made with black men. We have decenter men out of our lives. We are more than a relationship. Let's heal!
Black women dating out is nothing new, social media is what’s new. If you date out date out but both black men and black women feel the need to mention how “the other race is better” “they weren’t wanted in their own race” it’s corny
No it is new now. I have never dated out before 2023. Mostly influenced by the negative stuff said online.
@@user-do1qf8rm7b it’s not new, bw have been doing it for a while, social media is new and people making a big deal of it makes it feel new. YOU have never dated out before 2023 but I’m not talking about you.
Interracial dating is nothing new like the OP said. Love Vs Virginia was when interracial marriage became legal, and that was a bw and wm as defendants. 70% of black Slav owners during 1820 were bw that were either kids of a wm or in se.xual relations with one.
I couldn't click on this video fast enough. It is one of my favorite topics to hear black women discuss. Love is love 💖
"you can get you a kimchi and bibimbap... you can get you a taco and burrito" lol
I am so happy that the younger generation of BW is smarter today and realize what is going on today. We have this to owe to Christelyn Karazin and I listened to her over and others many years ago. I am 60 years old and I was married to a WM he passed but I am a better life because of the decisions I made. Choose character over color.
Yess character and culture is so important if you want a happy and healthy life
i mourn the loss of lipglossss she was a REAL one
I miss lipglossss she was so real😢
I’m a biracial woman who is the product of the BM/WW type of interracial relationship and because my father is what they call “an oreo” he doesn’t have any black friends or acquaintances himself. Pretty much the only black folks he associates with are his family members, with whom we have spent very little time. Thus, growing up, I went to predominantly white schools, grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods and had predominantly white friends. The amount of times blk men have come up to me f£tishizing my skin tone over other darker ones was astounding and disgusting. I have only been in romantic relationships with with men of Northwestern European descent mostly out of circumstance, but given the current dating market, I see no reason to diverge from the path I’m currently on and have been on for as long as I can remember. I think the moral of this story / discussion is general is go where you’re wanted & treated with kindness, dignity, and respect. Good luck out there everyone ✌️
I agree, go where you are loved and respected. Like your father did.
I’ve dated white men for 8 years now. I’m only 24 so I’m probably going to marry a white man honestly.
You go girl🙂
Good for you, sis 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@Daughter777_ LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
White worship, such loser behavior its crazy@@kvbly8677
Imagine admitting you've been passed around for almost a decade and none took you serious and marri... never mind