💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
I'm 43 and slowly trying to trust people. It's still hard, and there is always a "in the end they will leave" or "I hear what you're saying, but I think behind my back you'll say something else (and it's always bad)". But I'm learning now, because I see that my distrust is causing people to leave. So...I'm slowly healing....but trust is hard...it asks for surrender ❤
I will give each person the benefit of the doubt individually unless they give me a reason to distrust them. I will be neutral, not overly trusting and not paranoid. But when their behavior is questionable, then I notice certain patterns and it becomes very obvious that they cannot be trusted. Sometimes people show who they are right away sometimes it takes time but I go in not expecting much. Many people can't even trust themselves or cannot keep consistent with their own values.
After 40 years in recovery rooms with success I went into dark phase. My heart was broken & I trusted for 10 years. I needed therapist. I discovered wounds relating to toxic patterns often found by personalities in those rooms. And I idealized them. My inner child of attracted to narcissistic people. I stopped meetings. I have gone on Solo inward journey. This is a whole new level. I have a good foundation of spiritual experience & this awakening is WOW. So deep. I trust no human. I have Angels & guides. I ask for their help. And I hang on the wildest ride ever. I must Trust Myself & Divine powers that brought me here.
For me it has been a step by step process, but I had to learn to do that because I was veering towards the opposite extremes before I started my healing journey.
I wouldn't trust people in recovery. Seems like they aren't capable of healthy relationships. I entered recovery at 19 and never found anything in 13 years of recovery groups but unstable, abusers in these groups...I found healthy people outside of any organized groups.
I was hurt by a woman long ago. Now I'm with someone who has treated me like gold for the past year and I still can't trust them 100%, it's mind-boggling. I definitely need to work on patience for myself and for her. Great information here as always.
My churches have gaslit me into believing I should not have needs and I should spend my entire existence catering to my toxic narcissist wife who abandoned me. I actually believed them too. The brainwashing is truly wild
Trust is not necessary for survival and procreation. It's a nice to have. If someone says "you just have to trust me" run. If you desire to trust someone you will be disappointed. Trust will be known after the fact only.
I don't think we are supposed to trust people man's heart is basically Wicked .... Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. prov 3:5-6
Now, lets flip around and ask, are people in recovery trustworthy? I bet most of them are fragile and emotionally unstable, which kind of make them inconsistent and not many people would trust that.
I like this. I've thought about it a lot. In the 12-step fellowship there's a saying, "Stick with the Winners," and there's the part about choosing a sponsor who is experienced and accompanies you. That has worked for me. Outside the 12-step program, I use those principles, so the idea of "love and tolerance" works for me, too. My inner circle takes care of my actual needs. Interestingly, getting over my codependency, I've found out I don't need to depend on very many people, either. I feel free to love people, at the appropriate distance I decide is best for me. This said, it makes me curious how other people approach it.
The bible says clearly "DO NOT TRUST HUMANS." Relationships should be built on love and sacrifice, not trust. We trust God alone and only trust people he tells us to (BECAUSE we obey him, not because humans are trustworthy).
💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
Trusting people is difficult because they have shown themselves to have no integrity. They’re out for themselves.
I'm 43 and slowly trying to trust people. It's still hard, and there is always a "in the end they will leave" or "I hear what you're saying, but I think behind my back you'll say something else (and it's always bad)". But I'm learning now, because I see that my distrust is causing people to leave. So...I'm slowly healing....but trust is hard...it asks for surrender ❤
These processes do take time, and that's okay. Keep learning more and getting to know yourself as you re-calibrate your ability to trust others.
I will give each person the benefit of the doubt individually unless they give me a reason to distrust them. I will be neutral, not overly trusting and not paranoid. But when their behavior is questionable, then I notice certain patterns and it becomes very obvious that they cannot be trusted. Sometimes people show who they are right away sometimes it takes time but I go in not expecting much. Many people can't even trust themselves or cannot keep consistent with their own values.
After 40 years in recovery rooms with success I went into dark phase. My heart was broken & I trusted for 10 years. I needed therapist. I discovered wounds relating to toxic patterns often found by personalities in those rooms. And I idealized them. My inner child of attracted to narcissistic people.
I stopped meetings.
I have gone on Solo inward journey. This is a whole new level. I have a good foundation of spiritual experience & this awakening is WOW. So deep. I trust no human. I have Angels & guides. I ask for their help. And I hang on the wildest ride ever. I must Trust Myself & Divine powers that brought me here.
Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
For me it has been a step by step process, but I had to learn to do that because I was veering towards the opposite extremes before I started my healing journey.
Because they aren’t trustworthy
I wouldn't trust people in recovery. Seems like they aren't capable of healthy relationships. I entered recovery at 19 and never found anything in 13 years of recovery groups but unstable, abusers in these groups...I found healthy people outside of any organized groups.
I have trust issues because people have lying and cheating issues
I was hurt by a woman long ago. Now I'm with someone who has treated me like gold for the past year and I still can't trust them 100%, it's mind-boggling. I definitely need to work on patience for myself and for her. Great information here as always.
It takes time to heal old wounds, and that’s okay. Keep learning about yourself, and how to show yourself compassion as you move through the process.
You gotta let the old person go and not let that mess up your new relationship
Burn me once, shame on you.....burn me twice, shame on me
70-80% of people are unhealthy (they don't have a secure attachment). Makes it for a very small world we live in. 😕
human MUST trust others to survive when they are young, so what we need is not how to trust, how to choose not to trust.
My churches have gaslit me into believing I should not have needs and I should spend my entire existence catering to my toxic narcissist wife who abandoned me. I actually believed them too. The brainwashing is truly wild
I don't trust anyone, but I test everyone. Once they fail the test. I know then that I can't trust them.
Trust is not necessary for survival and procreation. It's a nice to have. If someone says "you just have to trust me" run. If you desire to trust someone you will be disappointed. Trust will be known after the fact only.
I don't think we are supposed to trust people man's heart is basically Wicked ....
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. prov 3:5-6
Now, lets flip around and ask, are people in recovery trustworthy? I bet most of them are fragile and emotionally unstable, which kind of make them inconsistent and not many people would trust that.
I like this. I've thought about it a lot. In the 12-step fellowship there's a saying, "Stick with the Winners," and there's the part about choosing a sponsor who is experienced and accompanies you. That has worked for me. Outside the 12-step program, I use those principles, so the idea of "love and tolerance" works for me, too. My inner circle takes care of my actual needs. Interestingly, getting over my codependency, I've found out I don't need to depend on very many people, either. I feel free to love people, at the appropriate distance I decide is best for me. This said, it makes me curious how other people approach it.
The bible says clearly "DO NOT TRUST HUMANS." Relationships should be built on love and sacrifice, not trust. We trust God alone and only trust people he tells us to (BECAUSE we obey him, not because humans are trustworthy).