💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
So basically it's a matter of over riding. At least that's what it sounds like. When you're in fight/flight chronically though, eventually your nervous system will shut down and keep you in a state of what looks like chronic freeze. Afraid to do ANYTHING. For fear the rug will be pulled out from under you no matter what action you take.
Exciting video, A year ago I took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosy, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain sister , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Perhaps a bit of a tangent, perhaps not ; when people say they do not have the patience to make model trains or build model kits I say, "Oh, but it's not this big long thing, it is actually bite-sized bits of instant gratification that all add up; there, I put paint on the wheel; there, I glued that axle on; there I glued that shock absorber to the axle; there, I glued the other side shock absorber on; there, while that glue dries I put paint on the other wheel; there, while all that dries I sanded the mold seam lines off the front seats; so forth and so on. 😄
This just blew my mind. That explains why I cannot stop building Legos or doing repetitive tasks when I am overwhelmed. One piece of instant gratification after the other... Even as child, I didn't know what to do with my Lego models after they were finished.
Many things are like that. If you hate cleaning your house, just clean the table here. Then when you’re done that looks nice and you’ll think to yourself well I’ll just clean the sink, etc. etc. it’s a bunch of little tasks. If you try to take them on all at once, it’s overwhelming but if you just do it little by little, you can achieve it. It’s called divide and conquer.
The same pattern applies to me focusing for a few hours straight but when I observed myself, it's jumping from one details or lines of thoughts to another within or related to a certain topic or task.
It's all about recognizing the basic and natural and forgotten need to feel safe and at home under your skin. Addiction is an unconscious way of wanting to reclaim that rightful need .
This explains why I saw my byf as a complete child at the end of our relationship. He just cut & run . & ransacked his home . Blindsided me totally out the blue to his behaviour. Even to the point he said if he wanted me back he would never try & learn to live with it . Such a super ego that has cut me to the core !
"Instant safety" meant 'cut and run' for the majority of my 55yrs...the limbic brain is almost impossible to shut down until I became aware of choosing different scenarios for long term peace... its a lifetime battle 😢
Nice lecture, but author made some mistake describing physiology. Cortisol is not released in the brain. it is hypothalamus that releases corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH), which travels to the pituitary gland, triggering the release of adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH). This hormone travels to the adrenal glands, prompting them to release cortisol.
if grown ups knew not to go for instant gratification , there would be no obesity epidemic or any other selfdestructive behavore.. most never grow up !
Thank you Tim. I know this sounds critical but I don't know how else to say this. I know you are standing on a stage but you come across as shouting which becomes difficult to listen to.
💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
So basically it's a matter of over riding. At least that's what it sounds like.
When you're in fight/flight chronically though, eventually your nervous system will shut down and keep you in a state of what looks like chronic freeze. Afraid to do ANYTHING. For fear the rug will be pulled out from under you no matter what action you take.
Exciting video, A year ago I took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosy, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain sister , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Perhaps a bit of a tangent, perhaps not ; when people say they do not have the patience to make model trains or build model kits I say, "Oh, but it's not this big long thing, it is actually bite-sized bits of instant gratification that all add up; there, I put paint on the wheel; there, I glued that axle on; there I glued that shock absorber to the axle; there, I glued the other side shock absorber on; there, while that glue dries I put paint on the other wheel; there, while all that dries I sanded the mold seam lines off the front seats; so forth and so on. 😄
@@scottfw7169 I like that! It helps to frame it that way.
This just blew my mind. That explains why I cannot stop building Legos or doing repetitive tasks when I am overwhelmed. One piece of instant gratification after the other... Even as child, I didn't know what to do with my Lego models after they were finished.
@@markusbaumgartner9266 Tell ya what, whoever it was that created, made, and marketed Lego has definitely added to civilization and culture. 😀
Many things are like that. If you hate cleaning your house, just clean the table here. Then when you’re done that looks nice and you’ll think to yourself well I’ll just clean the sink, etc. etc. it’s a bunch of little tasks. If you try to take them on all at once, it’s overwhelming but if you just do it little by little, you can achieve it. It’s called divide and conquer.
The same pattern applies to me focusing for a few hours straight but when I observed myself, it's jumping from one details or lines of thoughts to another within or related to a certain topic or task.
It's all about recognizing the basic and natural and forgotten need to feel safe and at home under your skin. Addiction is an unconscious way of wanting to reclaim that rightful need .
This explains why I saw my byf as a complete child at the end of our relationship. He just cut & run . & ransacked his home . Blindsided me totally out the blue to his behaviour. Even to the point he said if he wanted me back he would never try & learn to live with it . Such a super ego that has cut me to the core !
Woooow this!!! 💯💯 I reached a better understanding of myself because of this video
Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
Tim's social media team catching up with the times finally 😆
Sadly - just annoying as everyone else and more time to skip
@skjelm6363 yeah, I'll take it tho. this stuff is giving me tools to build a better life 🩷
What do you mean?
@@eelexa the very first boring 1 minute
"Instant safety" meant 'cut and run' for the majority of my 55yrs...the limbic brain is almost impossible to shut down until I became aware of choosing different scenarios for long term peace... its a lifetime battle 😢
Nice lecture, but author made some mistake describing physiology. Cortisol is not released in the brain. it is hypothalamus that releases corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH), which travels to the pituitary gland, triggering the release of adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH). This hormone travels to the adrenal glands, prompting them to release cortisol.
Cortisol also makes me gain weight
I like broccoli. Tee. 🥦💚
This could explain why my parents don't want health insurance because they'd rather spend money on meat and alcohol and entertainment
if grown ups knew not to go for instant gratification , there would be no obesity epidemic or any other selfdestructive behavore.. most never grow up !
Instant gratification, not growing up, not KNOWING how to adult, are characteristics and the results of complex trauma.
Ok, great, but how?
Thank you Tim. I know this sounds critical but I don't know how else to say this. I know you are standing on a stage but you come across as shouting which becomes difficult to listen to.