Why It's Not Enough To Just Allow & Feel Your Emotions
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 16 июн 2021
- Allowing and feeling our emotions is incredibly important. But, if that's the only way we relate to our emotions, it is not enough to truly live happy, authentic, and free. It can also lead to a lot of unnecessary suffering. This video explains the benefits and limitations of allowing and feeling whatever emotion arises.
If you would like help working with your emotions, you can setup online sessions with me here: noahelkrief.com/sessions 
Хобби
I always feel that only the culturally and socially acceptable emotions are ones that are happy such as laughter and enthusiasm and negative emotions such as anger, sadness, crying, depression and shame are only acceptable under socially and culturally acceptable circumstances. If I cry or exhibit negative emotions and by all outward appearances my life circumstances doesn't deem this emotional response acceptable I am shamed and guilted into seeking out psychological professional treatment and diagnosed with a disorder or mental illness and prescribed medications to balance brain chemistry and numb and suppress true feelings from being expressed at inappropriate times. I think our upbringings reinforce this with children since crying in public or acting out is punished and only good emotions are rewarded. People are treated like dogs and given a pat on the head and a treat and told you're a good boy when doing something socially acceptable and scolded and told you're a bad dog after doing something unacceptable and this continues throughout life and the person feels bad for having a human experience and feels like a stranger in their own minds and bodies. You never truly feel at home in your own skin and mind. This causes us to seek validation from sources outside ourselves with approval from peers and consumerism and drug abuse. This vicious cycle needs to end!
I agree man, I really dislike how the first thing people always say is "You need help" or "Get help". It feels so condescending and it's obvious they don't really care if you get help or not, they're really just there to call you weird and messed up
Therein lies the issue with societal norms. Emotions are neither positive nor negative, right nor wrong... It's all in HOW you deal with or outwardly express those emotions that result in the moral/ethical implications of conduct.
Eric, you are totally right in everything you have said. We are taught to stuff our emotions and that it's not acceptable to show them unless they're emotions that won't make others uncomfortable, therefore we have to make ourselves even more uncomfortable in order to keep others comfortable at the expense of our own mental well-being, even though it would cost others nothing to be around us in such a state because they're not feeling the emotions, we are... they're only experiencing the emotions as a witness, not firsthand account.
It truly is sad that most people cannot spare enough sympathy or empathy to afford others the comfort of knowing that they can feel without being judged.
I cried at work due to a customer yelling at me because a coworker blamed me for their mistake. My supervisor told me that I should be on medication to control my emotional outbursts. That's the first and only time I have cried there.
@@carly582 wow. That's fucked up. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It's really no wonder that sensitives and empaths want to hide away and not deal with the general public.
Most people are just so cruel and not at all understanding.
@@DancingQueen311 Thankyou ❤ I agree with you 100%. It is basically impossible to show any hint of emotion what feels like 99% of the time. We are made to feel like the odd ones. My supervisor loves my fake happiness I have to show at work but no other emotion is allowed.
Hello Noah, I am writing to you as a content creator and as someone with whom you have been extremely helpful. I wanted to keep my name anon for now, but I figured that leaving you a comment can encourage you, help with the RUclips algorithm, and also help me to express the feelings of gratitude and respect I have for you.
I discovered your channel in 2012 when you started. I was 13 years old back then, and there were not many mental health channels available (in fact, there still isn't). I have had a happy childhood, so I couldn't relate to things you said about heavy trauma, but I followed you anyways. It was back in 2018 when everything went down for me, when I met severe depression, anxiety, perfectionism, fear of failure, and a psychologically abusive relationship all at once. I was even heavily suicidal, despite being accepted to one of the top universities of country, being young, pretty and brilliant; with supportive family and friends. It felt like I had nowhere to go to, and everytime I searched RUclips, I'd find 3 minute motivational videos etc.
Only YOUR channel had a real talk and real impact on me.
Only you made me feel welcomed.
Over years, I saw that you got on a hiatus, despite that, I kept recommending your channel to my loved ones. Because you are sincere (or so I feel), genuine, and talk about real things. (I EXTRA appreciate you for being a man and talking about these: As a woman, I find it easier on social-pressure to talk about mental health, but most of my male friends or loved ones do not feel equally safe expressing their feelings. It is really encouraging to see you choosing to share your insight and experiences, thank you.).
Aah, I will make a short cut! I am not one to give emotional comments in the comment section, but as I said: I became a content creator over years too, so that's why, if you're anything like me, you may be looking for the comments and hoping to see that your work made an impact? (It's completely okay if this isn't the case, of course. I just- had the time and energy to write this comment, so.)
Short-cut: My story has a happy ending. (It's not really "end" now, is it?) I'm 22 now, I achieved my dream of being a scientist, I seeked therapy to help myself with the feelings of depression. I no longer feel suicidal or depressed. If I do, it's only on rare occasions, like "headache"s that sometimes come and go. I am in a healthy relationship with my partner. Everyday, I am discovering more about myself, creating content I want to create, seeking purpose, live and joy. I even have the energy to leave long comments here instead of just watching your videos and crying! Of course life is not really easy, and as I get older, I confront more stress and more responsibilities of being a young adult. But I also recognize that, as you said, feelings are okay. Expressing them (appropriately) is okay. Sometimes not completely moving on is okay. What matters is that, in my opinion, we keep moving forward to a healthier life, with our loved ones, creating things we wish existed- and not bashing ourselves up if we can't. Our power is limited, after all we are none but humans. However, we can still achieve a lot by the limited power we have too! It shall not be underestimated!
Anyways, thank you for being here. I support you. Maybe one day, I'll go off-anon. Until then, stay safe! Looking forward to your future videos!
Thanks so much for sharing with me. I do love to read the comments and feel how my videos have been helpful for people. I'm so glad my content has been there for you for all these years, and it's so nice to hear you're doing much better than before!
Thank you, Noah! This is super helpful! I thought I was doing something wrong - I've been expressing emotion forever and there is no end to it and it keeps hurting like hell!
You're welcome Veronique
I am so happy to have you on my path- thank you!!
Dear Noah
I'm more than 7decades on this wonderful planet. I have seen, followed and resonated with several teachers, gurus. I enjoy(ed) and still do, my journey. Seems it will never end.
For me your batgap interview was a revelation: So profound so vivid so much dedication honesty beauty!
No specific famous teacher, guru or religious/ spiritual tradition has to be followed in order to come home.
The message I hear from you "be in this very moment, go with the flow and trust your intuition"
is helpful. Same your "advices" with lots of room for selfexploration and noneattachment.
Your videos -short and right to the point - are helpful and enjoyable!
I'm curious what comes next!
Blessings may shower on you and all of us earthlings.
May wisdom decend to sustain this amazing planet and this skillfully woven net of Conciousness and Love in and around us💗🌻🍀🌳
Noah you are such a lifesaver and blessing. Much love
Wow, this is what I needed to hear. I’m feeling a huge relief. I held onto a false belief from my childhood bully (my brother) and that is why the emotions continue to resurface for years and years. Thank you.
You are gorgeous, thank you so much for sharing this 🌷🌷🌷🙏🙏🙏
Understanding the source of emotions (unpleasant emotions) is very helpful. Recognizing triggers, and why certain things trigger me help me to be less triggered in my daily life. I can feel the energy move through me, without having to express it by yelling. I can feel the internal heat (of anger/frustration) come over me, when I am triggered. I become aware of it, and the thoughts that feed it…. I then feel it energetically go. This is helpful being a Mom. Because the instinctual reaction to yell and become dominant is there, but- it’s controlled. Instead of an angry outburst, I say something compassionate, or witty to my Child and the transaction is pleasant. Why? Because I want to break the cycles of abusive relationships, and abusive Parenting.
This makes sense to me. I recently realized that I had been shaming myself for having emotions and not truly accepting them. I was trying to get rid of them by pushing them away and it was like trying to put fire out with gasoline of course. What's funny is that I kind of did the reverse of what you are saying; I was trying to intellectually see the source of the feeling and logically tell myself to let it go, but because I didn't do the acceptance first, didn't allow myself to feel, I couldn't. Once I tried truly accepting them and saying "it's ok to feel this" first, I could then actually use all that intellectual energy to disbelieve those thoughts. Also, a lot of my initial logic that I would come up with as to why I was feeling what I was feeling would end up being straight up wrong, Because I didn't even understand the emotion, and it's origin, properly, due to pushing it away too quickly.
I totally understand that.
All our actions are limited, we aren't perfect. There is nothing we can do. We can't accept our emotions, its not something we can DO. Everything in experience is already accepted by something thats not limited, even resistance.
You're quite insightful. Also, I like how you just convey your insights in a very low-key, understated and down to earth way, unlike a lot of 'gurus'. Thanks for sharing your perspectives.
You're welcome
great video i resonated. ive noticed a similar insight for me too. i used to think that everything could just be done internally and felt. but then i realized many times the physical world is way better to deal with the emotion. like talking to a friend whom u have conflict with may be 10x better than just feeling the emotion of the conflict
Thanks Noah great info as always. My goal was to just feel and allow my repressed emotions but your advice has changed my goal to "turning off the tap" as you say.
You've kinda come full circle where your old videos were about changing our thoughts, then you moved to feeling in the body but now you're back to thoughts.
Thank you! Rewatching.
This video was so insightful and spot on I just about transcribed it on the second listen. What is missing for me, and what I hope you might consider, is providing the steps to take to break the potentially neverending emotional hooks. You did a great job explaining how to do it for false childhood conclusions, but what about the others, ie, ancestral, past lives, attachment to intensity. Is the key to surrender to it and "come into deeper love and self acceptance?" I've done a TON of work to clear emotions, but never understood why they kept coming back. I'd love to hear more about how to do it in a follow up video or new course. In the meantime, I'll focus on receiving money for private sessions with you for direct support.
That's very helpful and nuanced! Thank you for this :)
You're welcome Sod. Glad it was helpful :)
Thanks Noah! Everytime I genuinely need empathy and heart, I come to your videos. Thank you! God bless you ! May you be so loved. You are from me anyway. ❤️🧡♥️💜
Thanks Noah, you’re spot on about the different phases of spiritual growth and understanding. I imagine that the reason why your older videos get way more views than the most recent ones is because most people do not go past the intellectual understanding of why they feel the way they do. This is just a beginning however , though it provides a huge relief. I assume that life only gives us as much as we can handle and not a bit more, so everything is perfect as it is. Some people may think that you have deviated on a whole different path, but my experience shows me that this is what evolution on the path looks like. Thanks for your guidance as always 💕
I gave your book to someone yesterday, I hope it helps them.
Thanks for writing it mate 👍.
very wise words. thank you
Wow, really saw this at the right time. Also just watched an old video that you made for when feeling depressed. I felt so much better afterwards, I even laughed several times.
This video saved me of misinformation.
I’ve been part of the spiritual society and have felt numb for more than a year, if not.
Lately I believed I could break down my numbness by just feeling everything, I did till today, I just broke down. It was too much, the crap I’m seeing that it’s “low-vibration”, “ unconscious inherited Siamese twin” “ parents inside of you controlling your thoughts kinda stuff”.
A period I started to accept myself and whatever I felt, helped immensely, but somehow I forgot about continuing it.
Your video got me back on track & I’m subscribed. Thank you for being the spot of light in my day! I’m grateful to be able to watch your wonderful content. Thank you.
Noah Elkrief: this video is ABSOLUTELY IMPORTANT!
Noah Thank you, You matter a lot to me. I wish you blessings and so much goodness
There are so many emotions I’m trying so hard to work through right now and this couldn’t have come at a better time! I am currently dealing with many issues relating to my parents and sooo many of my emotions run wild all of the time. I am constantly fighting my childhood cult mindset and cultural pressures that kid me did not get ANY say in anything. Bottom line is NO MATTER what we go through first and foremost we need to be kind to ourselves and catch ourselves in our healing net sometimes! Thank you so much for sharing this with us Noah!
You're welcome. Be gentle towards yourself. Sometimes the emotions don't shift as quickly as easily or we want.
Well said, I think it's important to realize that everyone's journey is unique and being kind to yourself and your process allows us to experience this from our safe space.
I agree 100%. Thank you for sharing your experience. I can really relate to this. 🙏❤️
You are so welcome Anne-Marie
I see from my life that the wisdom part you’re explained is very helpful way.. and this improving my happiness since I have been doing it.. thank you for your guidance!!
You are so welcome Ruben
That was a brilliant overview and really appreciated, ive been through the same phases, and had about 2 years of expressing and then another 2 years of working out how to actually heal instead of going round in circles, this included EMDR, learning how to regulate my nervous system , reichian breathing, bioenergetics, the list goes on and there was always either a realisation needed or some element that was missing that i had to connect to in the outer world, like a father figure or start to create art or writing.
Your video has reassured me, i only just found your channel and this rational but intuitive approach you have is really welcome, its a challenging and often confusiing path.
Thank you.
You're welcome finseven. Thanks for sharing with me.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom Noah. I am taking some time for myself and trying to dwell more in my body and trying to allow and heal all the trauma and pain by surrending with love. It sometimes feels like my body is being ripped apart or on fire. I appreciate your advice on balancing that process with healing the original trauma. Love and peace!
I think I needed this, thanks
Thank you for the most wise and knowledgeable words today. In my journey in life you have sum up a lot of experiences that I can acknowledge. Keep up the good things you share.
Thank you for this enlightning video thanks a million Noah
Wow, this is such helpful moral support and guidance, thanks Noah!
Thank you Noah
Your videos are very helpful. I always enjoy them a lot. Thanks for posting them.
I'm happy to hear that Lorna. You're welcome
Whoaaaaa majorly called out at 18:02 Intensity is almost a point of pride 😳
thank you so much for this talk 💛
Amazing thank you ❤
I love your videos just found you thank you so much ☺️ 💗
Completely understood you when you were talking about attachment. I have an attachment to a place. So anything about it triggers an overwhelming amount of emotions. The feeling hasn’t left since I left my home. But I think the message to myself is to be okay wherever I am. Thank you for your insight🙏🏻
You're welcome Saturn
Watched you since i was in highschool and today I'm 26 and I'm happy to share this journy with you. Thank you Noah
Amazing. You're welcome.
A more authentic, spontaneous and improvisatory Noah than I am used to. Allowing and feeling as you record, perhaps? It moves you from guru, teacher, to partner on this journey we call 'self-understanding'; an interesting move.
A very enjoyable shift now that it's here, but a difficult and scary journey to get here.
🙏 It resonates with me.
Nice 👍 to hear 👂 from you
Thanks for your vulnerability ❤️
You're welcome Jessica :)
the more you're attached to happiness, the less likely you'll be happy
Great video! This is something I've been working through for the last few years as well. Not just allowing feelings , but "processing " them too. What's underneath or attached to them ? And also like you said , sometimes an action or change is required to stop the pain cycle .
Really good one
Easily one of the most important youtube channel of our genereation, but only 7k view for this video? Aiyo.
Keep it up bro ♥️♥️
Every time i take psilocybin mushrooms, it breaks down the concrete wall and the underlying emotions come bursting forth.
You help me alot.
✨WOWZERS!!✨💛✨
Was just thinking of when your another video was going to come up❤
Damn this is exactly what I needed, thank you
You're so welcome Alex!
Awesome
I find that if I am lacking in the appropriate understanding to form a new, healthier attitude around certain emotional triggers, feeling the emotion will be insufficient. So long as I seek out and take in new spiritual wisdom, and develop my understanding, then feeling seems to work for me. I feel the emotions while watching my thoughts fill in the gaps. By allowing the process to work automatically in a mindful state, one can evaluate where they might be deficient in understanding. Thank you. Your video was very helpful.
Totally. Sometimes, we need to have genuine wisdom understanding on the subject in order to clear and let go of the old conclusions we formed which is creating our suffering. This is why often explain things to people before helping them to feel and release emotional pain. You're welcome :)
Okay, I wrote a comment here about how I was confused by this video, but now I deleted it because now I understood it better. Still, there is one part I can't agree with, which is when you say "sometimes we have to physically make a change in our life, and not everything can be done internally", because this just takes all the hope away from people who are in situations that can't be fixed, such as having a terminal illness for instance. I don't have the lfe experience to say whether or not this is true, but I dont want to believe some people are just fated to never find peace.
Thank you Noah for giving your insight on this! Lol I’m gonna to try to keep this short, but I have this personal issue of getting really triggered when a driver tends to over take me on a one-way road. It happened recently and still feeling that anger and rage feel it in my solar plexus) .
So In this scenario is more of talking to my inner child and asking why I’m feeling this way?
Very helpful :)
Do you have a video on how to alternatively move through your emotions other than just feeling them?
I think this is a little bit like psychotherapy? Finding the roots of the emotions and dealing with it straight on. Not hiding from it by distracting yourself in various ways. I think a lot of people these days get lost in their emotions and feel helpless because they can't find the time to communicate with their inner child since the world is so hectic and we always find easy escapes (porn, drugs, alcohol,etc).
Would Journalling be helpful for finding the root of emotions?
@@carly582 I guess it would, try it! But honestly when I started thinking a bit more with my own head and taking some time for myself instead of constantly browsing, my life really got better and it slowed down(which is great)
@@thekadju2450 oh yes I've deleted Facebook and instagram a while ago. I used to mindlessly scroll. I feel like Now I worry I'm just becoming addicted to reading. Sometimes it feels like there's so much to unlearn, discover and heal and I want it all to be done right NOW lol.
@@carly582 well then you are doing great i think. Im still gaming and using messenger. I think its okay! :) I've learned to never be too hard on yourself, if I want to drink a little bit I will, If I want to smoke I will(use social media, play games) but I guess it's also important to know how to tell yourself when to stop and when something else is better for you than indulging in these activities only.
@@thekadju2450 Yes I'm thinking I just need a break maybe for a couple of years. I too enjoy having a drink and love watching 90's sitcoms 😂
Thank you for sharing your experience with this emotion... stuff, Noah. I've noticed that in my heart there are three main feelings that are centered around there, which are guilt, inferiority(aka unworthiness) and defectiveness. I know those words are actually kind of vague and can be interpreted differently from person to person.
Do you plan on making any videos about the lower body? I'm confused as to how many "centers" there are. Is the belly the same thing is the womb, or by belly do you mean the solar plexus? Is the root separate from the genitals? Are the genitals a separate center from the womb/navel? etc.
Edit: I'd also include feeling abandoned/forgotten about as another heart emotion, making four. I wonder if there are more.
You're welcome. I understand your questions. I've had those too. Belly is different from womb and solar plexus. Root is different from genitals. Genitals different than womb and navel. Each has it's own energetic qualities and blockages.
Hi Noah, can you maybe make some content on when you loose a loved one and have trauma stuck in your body which brings up debilitating anxiety and panic, thank you very much in advance
💖
Question for yourself Noah how do I finally release the thoughts, subconscious and conscious and feelings of anxiety and fear fight or flight within me
I let my feeling come out then i try to understand the thought behind it then separate thought from realty without holding the feeling it makes
Great video, Noah - this spoke to me. I feel like ever since I started willingly feeling my emotions, it just made me more depressed. Feeling them and releasing them caused me temporary relief, but not permanent relief. It also added a new awareness to my emotions which possibly brought a constant unconscious desire to escape from them, which creates a vicious cycle. While I’ve stopped obsessing over my feelings, the awareness has never left me. Do you have any thoughts on my particular situation and how to deal with it?
I hear you. The question is why do you want to escape from feelings? What association do you have with feelings that makes you want to escape?
@@NoahElkrief The feelings, which I tend to observe as uncomfortable sensations rather than particular emotions, are weighing me down and preventing me from living life joyously and in peace, which is why I want to escape from them. If I would put a name to these sensations, it would probably come down to feelings of inadequacy, and a lack of belonging in life.
Hi dear Noah pls tell me how to transform negative thoughts and always feelings very bad especially my bf treated badly thx
What do you mean by "past lives"? What do you mean by the "soul" Can you elaborate on this? Maybe in another video? Can you explain how to have or experience a painful or scary feeling or emotion such as panic attacks and truly believe nothing bad is going to happen either physically or social embarrassment. It's easier said then done in my experience. How do you overcome the urge to want to hide from others physically or mentally from yourself without using drugs or alcohol?
You can check out my recent soul video for some answers. I have a panic attack video and some social anxiety videos that may also serve you.
Emotional healing is challenging without the assistance of a therapist/psychologist
I really need help😭🙏
You ok?
U talk about removing our energy from a past even so that our neverous system no longer feels we are in that situation and can let go of emotion. How do we actually do this?
hey noah !! how do you really find the source ? there are multiple sources right ?? in that intense emotions how do you identify the source ?
I may make a video about that. Too much content to share in a comment.
I don't like the idea of "we are all one awareness",I don't know if this is bad or not but I just feel disturbed.It's as if someone is taking away my identity.I just feel that separation is better,I feel as if I'm being controlled by a cult when spiritual people tell me you are everything.Does this make sense?And what would your advice be?
I had that same response in the past. While it is true on one level, we are all one. On other levels, we are not. It's natural and beautiful to identify with our soul, personality, and body. The more we know that's okay, the more easily we can open to the aspect of ourselves that is one with everything.
Hey Noah the percentage example had me curious, what percentage of your emotions in your experience have been rooted in past lives and ancestral trauma? I haven't had anything like that in the past year since I started this stuff, except for one "maybe?" kind of incident.
I would say that practically everything comes from past lives or ancestral stuff. But, we don't necessarily need to find the deepest root in order to heal it. For example, a childhood abuse could be initially a carry-over from previous abusive incidents in past lives. Most of the time, it is sufficient to just heal the abuse from this life. But the ultimate root of everything rarely, if ever, comes from our experiences in this life. That's my perspective.
@@NoahElkrief Cool stuff man. Thanks for the response
So Can you make a video about how to heal the emotions ?
It’s a tricky process
It's hard for me to talk generally about healing emotions. It's easier to address specific issues.
@@NoahElkrief
I understand you , I hope you talk about shame and trauma and self image and how they create social anxiety.
I feel ashamed since I was a kid but I couldn’t know why and it cripples my life and I haven’t found the root of it yet .
Thank you so much Noah🙏
Can you do more videos on the practicals of healing the emotions?
This video made everything click by the way! Much love
Yes. But, I often need a catalyst for a video. Maybe, if you ask a very specific question, it might spark my motivation to make a video about the subject.
@@NoahElkrief Absolutely. I would love to know the most effective methods that you have personally used to heal your emotions. And maybe a very brief step by step on that. :) for example, do you meditate, visualize, use affirmations, go into your memories? Etc? I am very curious and interested!
Not sure I like this advice, this has been bad news from my past experience.
My main struggle several years ago was having a neurotic mind, trying figure out everything and being in my head all the time trying to think my way out of pain and suffering. It didn't work and it still doesn't.
By becoming more familiar with meditation and non-dual approaches, letting go and allowing, I've felt much more at peace where I don't feel the need to jump at every feeling and think my way out it.
Going back into thought and trying to resolve faulty thinking is super hard for me because I'm naturally OCD and very neurotic so I go back into my old patterns of trying too hard to control what I'm feeling and then nothing gets done.
You might have the right way but I just don't know how to make it work where I'm not freaking out all the time.
I hear you. I've been there. If we feel the need to think our way out of feelings, it's important to address why that's the case. Is it because I am scared to feel emotion? Is it because I associate emotion with rejection? Is it because emotion makes me feel worthless, powerless, or out of control? While a nondual approach may be relaxing, it may not be addressing the issue in your relationship towards your emotions. I totally agree that looking for the root of your emotions is the wrong approach for you. Rather, I would explore the root of your resistance to emotion and why you want to fix them or get rid of them. That exploration might include trying to allow yourself to feel what you would normally try to fix. Good luck!
@@NoahElkrief Thanks for the feedback. I will investigate these questions and try to get some clarity on the situation.
I don't go along with this at all. Like thoughts, emotions are never-ending. The answer to troubling thoughts and emotions, both, is not to try to fix, heal, hide from, suppress, or eliminate them, but to disidentify from them. Neither thoughts nor emotions are who we are. We are the awareness Self that notices emotions. When we disidentify from thoughts and emotions, they don't stop, but they progressively cease to trouble us and take us over. Gradually, the tail ceases to wag the dog.
I hear you Andrew.
Thanks for the effort. But do you think that we are the personal ego? That what is experienced now is not pure unconceptualized consciousness, do you think we are a personal consciousness? Why else would you bring forth the ridiculous and false belief about past lives. Unless it is inherited, like the fear of snakes (which is not really a past memory) or you mean it metaphorically it is just pure nonsense.
I like a lot of this content except I don't believe in the past life concepts.
Got a problem? Either accept it or deal with it. End of story.
Or both
I usually love your stuff.
But this one feels a little counter productive