How To Stop Feeling Weak, Fragile, and Scared
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- Опубликовано: 7 июл 2024
- If you ever feel weak, fragile, insecure, or scared around people, then this video can help you to understand the cause of this experience & support you to feel more powerful & solid in your life.
If you want more help, you can click this link to learn about my 1-on-1 sessions on Skype: noahelkrief.com/sessions/
If you would like to learn about the work my partner, Solange Beaumont, is offering then you can click this link: www.solangebeaumont.com/deeph... 
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My father was very aggressive and loud and sometimes physically abusive which caused me to feel anxious, small & weak and also harbour a lot of hidden hatred for years
Same here with mom.. your not alone friend
Me too my friend! Me too!
Same but my brother
I stop blaming patents and elders for their style of parenting, I now believe they are fighting their demons and their up bringing from their parent. They never have a show like this and a friend like Noah , who helps us to see the light. ❤
Me too, not only parents but other family and still continuing. I feel such anxiety and fear constantly, sometimes I wish I can end my life
I was always shy and anxious and thought it was normal. Once my teacher in 7th grade asked me if my mother was too strict with me i was confused i always thought my mother was the best the most clever the kindest person. But now i understand why my teacher asked me this.. My mother always gets angry and loud out of nowhere i was always confused and scared.
Same here. I had to be the perfect child to make my mother feel better. It's called emotional incest: our mother/father is emotionally broken and it fell to us as children to make them happy. What a horrible burden. No wonder we are anxious and always trying to earn other people's love.
When I heard this I cried. I have severe social anxiety was raised this way and bullied all my life.
same.I am 27 dont wanna feel fragile no more
As a black man in America, I really resonate with what you are saying about the disrespect and suppression of feelings. Only with us it extends far beyond the parent child relationship into all of society. This is one reason we see black men murdered by policemen with very little public outrage.
This exercise worked great for me. My inner child screamed a sonic boom of a scream and grew big like a giant and stomped all the houses in the neighborhood. It helps a lot to see you saying that you welcome our anger and aren't afraid of it. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing! You're welcome
I can't begin to describe how much of a problem this is to me. Especially around certain people. I get really anxious and in my head. I don't really think I'm an introvert either.
My god! U wouldn't believe how important this upload is for me right now,, and thank you soo much!,,it ment the world (well my world)🙏💫✨
I AM understanding 🙏✨
♥️🙏
Wow I cried twice in the video. The little kid me suppressed all the anger, because of my family, and my friends. Even though inside I was angry, and wanted to scream at them and tell them to fuck off, I couldn't.
But now I gained back my power and willing to express this anger and fight for myself. Thank you Noah! ❤️
Had to create YT acc just for leaving a comment. Watching this video made my angry and than cry, and for some reason I've been crying for hours, can't help myself. Something happened, sometimes cracked inside me, I feel free. Thank you.
We can chat i need a friend
Seems like a really healthy sign!
Oh boy. I have the kindest parents in the world. But only by comparison maybe. Watching this made me realize how much I fear my father, even though he still sends me money and never questions my anything.
Noah...this is exactly what I needed at this point of my life...how do you already know what I am going through??!!! I LOVE YOU NOAH ❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘
As a kid and now as an adult I was always timid. My natural instinct when I was being bullied was to shrink into myself and cower. I can count on my hands the number of times I’ve gotten angry and most times it scares even me.
Noah, only a few people can explain so we'll that childhood traumas are the real source of all theese insecurities and feeling vulnerable. Knowing just this is very eye opening. But not only that, you also give a method to let go of these emotions, something no one else talks about but you. And making it free on RUclips? That's so generous, because it really works and it helped me tremendously. I rarely comment under videos, but this deserves it. Thanks you from the bottom of my heart. I wish you whatever is good for you. Jan
I was going to say the same thing. He made a real life therapy available on RUclips. I had gone through many strategies on how to heal trauma that never really worked, and this video is truly life changing.
I would like to point out, just like you did that the specific method shown in the video is the key. Trauma is indeed as much physical as it is psychological and need to be resolved by implementing strategies that involve the body. Like literally pushing the pain out by gagging, hissing,throwing up- like body movements. I have noticed that people who go to South America get treated by ayahuasca,not sure if you heard of that, are engaging in similar methods. Im so happy I have finally found solutions.
Noah, my parents were very loving and kind to me. SO I really didn't experience much at all of being scared of them.
My issue is the high school verbal bullying, intimation, fear that I absorbed.
I tried to focus your invite to be with the 14 year old me ...being next to him.
Letting the 14 year old feel rage anger fury towards the bully
It was hard to do ..I don't think I ever got to express these emotions.
I want to ....and think it would go along way to healing me from being scared n fearful.
I just was so terrified by what the bully imprinted on me.
That I never fought back, etc n also didn't allow or know how to access anger, rage, getting furious about how I felt when he said really hurtful words to me.
How can I begin to access being angry. Mad, furious at him..
and release that pain that resides inside me? So I can be Free.
Thanks for giving me hope.
Paul
Brother from the bottom of my heart, me and my inner child we thank you so much for your support. I love you!
My dad used to always yell at me, it took me a veeeery long time to understand where my fear came from.
Noah, your videos have helped me through some of my hardest times in life. Thank you brother.
Most people would describe me as strong, confident, direct. Some people automatically fear me, others automatically want to "put me in my place". This happens before I even open my mouth. When I am verbally attacked in public I automatically think I deserve it and am unable to defend myself. I am taken by surprise and do not think quickly in the moment, so I go into flight mode and do not sleep, for days sometimes.
You’ve helped me through a lot, thank you 🙏
♥️
This really helped me, I cant thank you enough.. whole process is life changing. Thank you Noah
Truly wonderful, Noah! Thank you for all you do ♥️🙏
Thank you, thank you & thank you Noah!
I cannot even begin to describe how this made me feel...it was my life in 31 minutes. Thank you so much for this amazing video which I will watch over and over. I also only now understand why I have all this buried anger which again made me think I was a bad person.
I truly appreciate what you do for me and the people that watch your videos, ever since i found your channel I haven't stopped watching your videos. The concepts and ideas you bring forth are big and complex so I watch some videos more than once to really understand and implement them in my life. Your videos have been a serious help to me and I appreciate them so much, it's been more helpful to me than a therapist I've been seeing for over 2 years. Following along with this video I realized that the child me had a hard time realizing she was angry. With my eyes closed I paused the scenario and took her with me surfing through memories. She grew upset then angry and it's like it finally clicked for her. She was angry and knew she didn't deserve how she was being treated. The experience of seeing this video and giving it a try was truly fulfilling and indeed empowering. I feel like me, strong. Thank you.
Noah, your recent videos are being so useful and reflexive to me. Words cannot describe how grateful I am. Hugs from Brazil!
Noah, you are the voice of calm sensibility and bringing a little soulful understanding of life is a gift you have. Thank you for your efforts in these videos. This one as also the others was wonderful. 🌻
Perfect timing again! Thanks so much!!💜 💜 💜
Thank you, Noah. I can't wait to listen to this!
I love your perspective. Thank you for sharing your knowledge
Great session Noah, WOW, this is just the way I was raised, and it couldn't have come at a better time in my life, thanks, I need more stuff like this, although I fought a lot and won most, but the rest of the time I was a scared little child who was terrified of other people. thanks.
Thank you, it was truly useful.. You just addressed the thing that bothered me the most
This video is great! Thank you, I really needed that, finally feeling emotionally mature. Bless you!
Thank you, Noah, for saying it is ok to feel and express the whole range of emotions 🤗
I recently stumbled on some anger I've burried inside because I could not possibly permit myself to be angry at a beloved family member. At the moment, I felt he did not stand up for me in a family situation but I did not say anything because I was raised otherwise. Instead I moved far away which might not have been the best for me, looking back.
I wish they thought us at school how to express our emotions, the whole range of them, at the moment we are feeling them and that it is safe to do so. Right now, years later I felt guilty about discovering this burried anger before watching your video.
I hope all children in the future will have a chance to learn how to express their feelings and that it is safe to do so. That would be my number 1 item to add to the school curriculums.
This was extremely helpful thank you so much! ♥️
Your videos have been great for helping me to articulate how I’ feel in certain social situations. Thank you for your advice!
your an awsome coach and guide.. glad that i came accross these videos!
thank you noah i really needed this
9:09 That's Clear Noah! Thanks for taking the time to explain how the fear was created ,retaimed and activated.. Will keep watching..
Thank you so much, Noah! This made me aware of work that I need to do, and I can tell there is more to uncover. I also noticed that some of this tied in with feeling powerless at times, in situations I couldn't control, that didn't have to do with how my parents were treating me, but with how they were treating each other (and in turn treating me).
You're so welcome Katie!
I've always seen my parents as good parents and I think for the most part that they have been good parents but their reactions to bad behaviour have always been quite passive aggressive (e.g. most common one being my dad sighing and going cold). I'm 18, turning 19 in a couple of weeks and I've always always been a person people would describe as 'nice', I have always had problems saying no to people and that has resulted in me being disrespected by people who I allowed to get close to me despite showing a lack of respect for me, as well as allowing people to disrespect me who I don't even know and this happened to be multiple times daily throughout school. The anger I felt during this video was really liberating so thank you, I always feel it very strongly and frequently fantasise about beating up people who have wronged me. I feel a lot lighter after that and just allowing myself to feel it fully for the first time. I've recently been struggling with the exact thing you describe at the beginning of the video as well of feeling like a child while I see everyone else as adults and after expressing this anger and letting myself feel it I feel a lot more confident. I feel a lot less helpless so thank you.
So precise in your talks, thanks.
Love all your videos! You’ve helped me tremendously, Noah. And for that I appreciate you, thank you so much. ❤
Noah Elkrief: this video is SOOO IMPORTANT for me! THANK YOU SO MUCH for this video!
Thank you, I went through the exercise and I felt some relief. I didn't know I had these negative emotions still buried in me.
This is a good video, Noah.
These past few videos have had me crying a lot. I guess I'm finally connecting to myself.
I was yelled at, bitten, called names and spat at by my father, I left home for good at the age of 19 YO feeling worthless piece of shit. 35 years later still suffering the consequences.
can't hide it i cried .thank you very much noah
Me too, it felt good
Noah,thank you so much💛 this video helps me to understand who i am. Thank you so much🌸🌸🌸
Same here. I'm so grateful
i was ijn a abusive relationship with my dad he would beat me with a belt and slapped me on the hand with my hot wheels car tracks. and they left prints and i would go to school with them. still struggle being myself in public. and expressing who i truly am. thanks noah for this.
Thank you for sharing💖
Did anyone else cry through this therapy session?
I cried my heart out. This was very transformative and super helpful
Uff. This was good. I needed to let this out. Thank you.
LIKE YOUR VIDEOS 5-6 YEARS AGO.... ITS MUCH GOOD TO SEE IF IT HAS MUCH LIGHTING, IT HIGHLIGHTS MORE TO WHAT YOU SAY...
You are a life saver🥰🥰🥰
Feeling weak, fragile and scared is normal. EVERY human being feels this way from time to time, some more than others. The BEST way to make it go away is to stop trying to make it go away. Sit with the feeling and thoughts and do not judge yourself....no emotion or experience is 'bad', it is simply part of existence....there is good and there is bad. If you remove the negative labels of certain emotional states/thoughts then they lose virtually all power. It is in the RUNNING from the pain that actually creates the most suffering.I use this all the time to manage anxiety etc.
This is awesome❣️
iam on your side too.
What a great video
Great video!
I tend to run away or cry when I am triggered I am scared to get angry. Sometimes it's very hard to stand up in the moment cause all kinds of emotions are happeng at once. It's too much all you can do is run.
Wow! Just wow💛
Thank you for your time and effort, I love the structure and emotional presence of you. It clearly feels like you have gone through experiences yourself, what makes it easy to feel understood by you and thus makes it easier to open up to myself during the video.
Please check out your microfone, the audio seems to distord or clip - i dont know what the technical term is, i am no expert - but it sounds like the microfone is to weak to cover the whole dynamic of your voice.
Thank you for your big help :)
Little Me burned the house down. I am so grateful for you for making this video
I locked up my parents in jail and got new ones.
@@md5329 and I beat up mine with a large stick😅❤
Thank you
There is also a concept of Carried Emotions given by Pia Mellody. She says that whn adults are being rude or unjust towards a child, their system produces shame, but they reject it. This shame is then radiated out, and children with weak boundaries pick them up and carry and feel them for a long time. This is also applicable with other emotions like fear and all. I can totally relate, but looks like I am so damage, cant connect to my anger. I feel really anxious around Narcissists. Thanks for the video.
Now I can see the big picture. I've always seen my parents as protective and loving. People used to say that we were in the army, cuz that's how strict they were. I guess I can say I'm starting to feel peace inside cuz I got the answer to my weakness. I am not weak.
This is something I have needed help with for so long. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️
this has been my life
Thanks
My father not only was coercive, forceful, disgruntled and yelling, but also manipulative and pitiful. He came home every night drunk and cried in front of me. This further stopped me from expressing my pure anger and emotions towards him when he made me do what he wanted. He never wanted to see me being powerful and dangerous but wanted to keep me weak, submissive and also understanding of him and pitying him. And when I’m in front of people with him he wanted me to be a man which is so wrong when he never raised me to become a man.
He might have had an excellent tactic to manipulate me in so many aspects but I support myself and my power and my potential to be a strong, yet peaceful person.
Thanks for telling me that you welcome my anger.
This sounds very familiar to what I went through with my father. I'm going to hate him until the day I die. I'm so sorry you were subjected to that.
I had a rough childhood, bullied and intimidated by my own mom, I grew up feeling unsafe, I even had to run away from home because I couldn't stand the violence. I already forgave my mom but somehow the pain remains but like you said those are old feelings, I just became a mother a month ago and I became so protective of my baby when she comes visit... I don't want to keep her away but it's sort of difficult for me having these feelings when she is around...
Hi Edna, it's possible to forgive on the mental level, while there is still fear, anger, hurt, and unsafety stored in our body. I would suggest exploring letting out the pain. And I understand your conundrum of not wanting her around but also wanting her around. I hear you.
@@NoahElkrief Thank you for taking the time to respond. I tried following the exercises to let the fear and pain out, I cried so much quietly (because I don't want to scare my new born). My inner child is still hurting but I won't give up on her... 🤍 thank you again!!
I sent this one to my 9 yr. old. She has trouble feeling safe or asserting herself. We can both learn.
Hi Noah, could you please make a video about assertiveness? Thanks in advance.
Wow this was very empowering. I never really thought my anger had any use and it was just an emotion that would always make things worse, so I pushed it down. But in fact I felt so much more empowered standing up for myself.
Relatable comment! 😊♥️
I could see that something has changed in you. I can see it in your eyes clear as day. Do you have ptsd, did you experience something traumatic? Much love to you brother take care.
Did this kind of content not exist in the 80s? I feel like me and most of my friends had loving parents, but who actually wanted their kids to be people pleasers. Now I wonder: if I ever have kids, will I be a good parent? It seems impossible not to screw up somewhere...
You need to be extremely lucky to pull it off. I believe in giving freedom but with reasoning and talking with them like young adults i.e never talk down. But easier said, I'm sure.
This world has to many restrictions it gets overwhelming and confusing most of time or maybe I'm not in the right state of mind.😕
Please can you make a video on fear of being homeless and not being able to feed your child, basically fear of not being in control
I am a Mom (I have an 8 year old Daughter). I had a very painful childhood. As a Mom I am partially aware of my conditioning. I do many things intentionally to try to be different from my Parents. Though I don’t have all the tools to handle situations (with my Daughter) more delicately. For example; she can be very reluctant to get up/get ready for School. And at times I have used manipulation or intimidation (or bribery) to get her to do her morning routine. And I feel awful for that. When I pick her up from School, usually she says she had a fun and a good day. Any ideas on how to get her motivated in the mornings to get ready for School? Thank you Noah!
Hi Noah, question. I went through this with my single mother. She would look at me angry, yell and hit me with the belt.
I now subconsciously use the same tactic (minus the belt) with my son thinking this is the way parenting is suppose to be... He will listen and respect me or I will get angry and yell.
As i wake up now to this subconscious act I do towards my son- I don't want to train him to feel weak and fragile.
My mind is so confused on how to parent now since this is all I know from learning how to parent from my mother.
What is a different parenting approach I can do with my spn?
Anything is better than fear tactics
I am trying to not care what people think. I have read your book and it helps. I found out that I don't care what people think if I don't know them that much. If I do know them, I care about what they think because I see them so much. An example is someone at work or a neighbor. I want to have good interactions because I worry about all future interactions with them. Because of this I get anxiety when it comes to talking to them. I asked the question- What are some good things that could result from a situation where I get made fun of or am not liked. I came up with that I don't have to guess their opinions or be friends w fake people who don't like me. My previous strategy was realizing that people liking you is just their preference but this dosent help as well with people I know. Even if I know its just their preference, I still want them to like me to avoid future potential rejection. Can you help me in this situation? I am making progress but would like another way to "Re think' these thoughts. Thank you
I totally get u.
I will probably make a new social anxiety video soon that gets more deeply into how to lose your fear.
@@NoahElkrief Thank you. Id appreciate it. Another good topic for a video could be on how our minds try to come up with reasons to not change. For example. I repeat your advice in my head so much after awhile it starts to lose meaning and dosent work anymore. That could be a new topic for you.
@@quest8054 Its a small road block for me right now that i cant think around :) Im sure others feel this too.
I feel loved, but left open, and vulnerable, and unprotected. I have to be strong for me, and gain strength from the Lord; most deeply the rock is from my extended family. God always sends one to water. God always gets water for others from my existence. God is my strength though. He is the soil that makes life work.
Thanks a lot for this...I forget that healthy anger management is important. Is there a way to gauge the difference between anger and rumination?
Thinking is an avoidance of pain. It is only helpful when you are physically releasing tension/pain/heaviness/intensity.
They will go to any lengths if you are adult and they want to trap you. Mine would get sick everyday to the point of hospitalization so I wouldn't leave. Then, threaten in horrible ways. They will destroy your life. Completely. Now, I'm old with nobody. And others abuse me. I feel terrible everyday.
Hey Noah, is it possible for the child to remain fearful due to the abuse faced by mother when she was having him. If yes then what's the strategy in that case.
If I can't remember ages 4-7, is a couple years later okay to use?
My parents treat me kind.
This is great stuff, but the person who is learning to stand up for him/herself should be sure direct their newfound strengths in communication towards the right person/s. How many times have we had rage directed towards us by a person who is now standing up for themselves and just picks the first target who comes along or happens to be in the wrong place at the right time. I've had this done to me a number of times and it is traumatic. Your friends or colleagues are apt to say 'Well, she/he is venting and was probably stood on earlier in life'.
yaya noah
4:40 You too, eh? Hated that plant as a kid.
I love u
RUclips Thumbnail Mastery Course is coming soon.
I think religion can have a similar impact. In Ireland during the 1990's Catholicism still had a big impact in society and engrossed in early school education enforcing this type of fear as we grew up. Luckily this is no longer the case.
How do you address your dad that him yelling at you all throughout your childhood had really negative affects on who you are today
I LOVE ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU SAY SIR, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! ITS VERY HELPFUL. CAN YOU ADD LIGHTING, INTRODUCTION AND YOUR EXIT. ITS ALSO NICE TO WEAR COLORFUL POLO SHIRTS.THANKS!
Can you make a video about insecurity? It seems to be a huge problem in my life
I like this vid .I don't feel weak. But I can tell you were once weak.
Have a great day!! Scared me, I will scare you back haha
Just don’t fap.. 2 weeks of no fap and your confidence will sky rocket
Imagine what 6 months of no fap could do to your brain, body and life
not really
Well I never do and it's seemingly done me no wonders so... Who knows.
Amen to that from experience.
its all in your head. its placebo. if you think it works then it will
when the aliens come to judge us, can you be our embassador? wait, if they judge us they should watch your videos about judging. 😊
Hey Noah watching the video as I type this comment. You are my life coach 💙. Thank you so much ❤. I made a channel to help people help themselves.
#livinginthemoment