Table News: Free meals, Free Spills
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- This week’s Table News unpacks 5,000 miles of seaweed along Florida, free school lunch in Minnesota, nuclear water and oil spills, banning TikTok, and much more!
---Patreon---
Do you want early access to my content and other benefits?
Sign up at / ben_brainard for as little as $3 a month!
---Next Shows---
3/23 - Ontario, CA - Improv
4/13 - San Jose, CA - Improv
5/7 - Irvine, CA - Improv
5/11 - Oxnard, CA - Levity Live
5/14 - Denver, CO - Improv
5/17 - Kansas City, MO - Improv
5/21 - St. Louis, MO - Helium
5/23 - Fort Wayne, IN - Summit City Comedy Club
5/25 - Louisville, KY - Louisville Comedy Club
5/28 - Liberty Township (Cincinnati,) OH - Funny Bone
5/30 - Indianapolis, IN - Helium
5/31 - Columbus, OH - Funny Bone
6/18 - Pittsburgh, PA - Improv
6/28 - Chicago, IL - Zanies
6/30-7/1 - Rosemont, IL - Zanies
7/16 - Milwaukee, WI - Improv
7/19 - Appleton, WI - Skyline Comedy Club
7/26 - Omaha, NE - Funny Bone
7/27 - Des Moines, IA - Funny Bone
8/6 - Buffalo, NY - Helium
8/8 - Syracuse, NY - Funny Bone
8/9 - Albany, NY - Funny Bone
8/10 - Hartford, CT - Funny Bone
8/13 - Providence, RI - Comedy Connection
8/15 - Boston, MA - Laugh Boston
8/17 - West Nyack, NY - Levity Live
8/22 - Philadelphia, PA - Helium
8/23 - Timonium, MD - Magooby's
8/27 - Washington, DC - DC Comedy Loft
8/30 - Richmond, VA - Funny Bone
8/31 - Virginia Beach, VA - Funny Bone
9/17 - Portland, OR - Helium
10/10 - Little Rock, AR - Loony Bin
10/17 - Greensboro, NC - Comedy Zone
10/18 - Raleigh, NC - Goodnight's
10/24 - Charlotte, NC - Comedy Zone
10/25 - Greenville, SC - Comedy Zone
11/4 - Wesley Chapel, FL - Side Splitters
11/5 - Tampa, FL - Side Splitters
12/22-23 - Orlando, FL - Improv
---Links---
Shows and Tickets: www.benbrainar...
Email List: www.benbrainar...
Booking: www.benbrainar...
Store: www.benbrainar...
RUclips: / ben_brainard
Facebook: / comedianbenbrainard
Twitter: / ben_brainard
Instagram: / ben_brainard
TikTok: / ben_brainard
Discord: / discord
Solid subtle reference to the proposed ban on discussing periods in Floridian elementary schools at the end there
Anyone else here horrified/offended that Florida did this?
@@Nerdnotwashere yes
@@Nerdnotwashere anyone actually SURPRISED Florida did this?
@@sh969 Nope. With how Governor [Redacted] is, nothing from that place surprises.
@@sh969 no
I love how Maryland’s role has devolved into “if somebody’s eating something, get the old bay and eat it raw”
Accurate
Yeah, we never get into national news.
@@ocularzombie6679 You guys haven't made the news YET. Get out there and be the change you want to see. Kidnap a zoo animal. Get into a boxing match with the Norwegian ambassador. Live the dream.
@@SirThopas3 -YEAH! I'M GONNA EAT A CAKE NAKED IN PUBLIC! WOOOOO!-
I can't speak for the "eat it raw" part, but Maryland is definitely about their Old Bay. As someone who's never liked shellfish and thinks that Old Bay's disgusting, I find myself avoiding a lot of restaurants here.
This is unironically one of the calmest episodes of the series in a while. Florida had no stupid news covered, and the states or the government did get into a very serious argument.
Yeah, no. That period thing was a dig on the new regulation banning the discussions on menstrual cycles in schools.
@@Nerdnotwashere ok yes but compared to other episodes where multiple other bad things were going on its very calm compared to videos like a rough week for democracy or the freedom states of America. Didn't mean for it to come off as though I didn't find that a problem because that is a problem.
@STTNGfan15 I can and can't believe that. Apparently, teenagers are just supposed to magically know about puberty, since there are very few parents starting that conversation on their own...
@@Bremenddon't you just love how it's less and less up to parents to do literally anything with their kids.
@@Astrolavey True I guess. It could have been worse.
You make us happy, Ben.
I love what you do with Louisiana
Can we see bloopers of Loui
Those should be fun😂
Love the accent
I don't think Minnesota did the school lunch thing to distract from the spill. Spills like that happen all the time and the govt. doesn't typically need come out with progressive legislation to distract from it, as people rarely pay attention anyways.
Imagine a cooking show hosted by Louisiana with Florida as his helper😂
And Texas getting mad he never got a bbq show😂
Wyoming should wear a flannel shirt. We all have flannels here for fall. And spring. And working. And leisure.
As a Washingtonian, how did i not hear about that
I didn't hear about it either. How to look it up.
Wasn't too bad. None of it seems to have reached the water, though measures have been taken to limit the spread if it's noticed. Soil is being excavated and tested. Company that owns the train is taking full responsibility. Why it happened is still being figured out.
I'm for North Carolina, and I didn't hear about it from local news sources. Our coast will likely get some courtesy of the Gulf Stream.
same I didn't know either
@@mbyerly9680 uhm Washington is the closest state to the north west beside Alaska most likely why
@@Grey_SpaceLover The seaweed blob is in the Atlantic Ocean, and it's heading toward Florida.
I’m from Natchitoches… thank you 😊 that was RIGHT
As someone from Maryland , I agree with Maryland the most in the seaweed problem
CALI WAS THROWIN SHADEEE
Thanks for pronouncing place names from the Northwest correctly. We'd love to have you up in the Puget Sound or Willamette regions.
Given that his favorite character is Louisiana, I'm happy that LA could get more screen time and food time XD
The fact that I didn't know about the nuclear spill until Watching this video when I live in Minnesota is distressing tbh
It shouldn't be, that's the point, it's not bad at all. The nrc is one of the only regulatory agencys in this country that doesn't fuck around, if there was anything concerning they would have told us immediately, tritium is not dangerous unless you drink a glass of the stuff don't worry
I appreciate the Wyoming doesn't exist joke
Washington having a liberial breakdown is amazing.
Also. Fun to learn about something as bad as that spill within my own state from a comedian.
I'm still not going to watch the news, but hey.
It took me several days to hear about the train derailment 30 miles north of me in Ohio. I had heard of a derailment but not its location or its contents (1500 or so of those a year you kind of white noise them)
@@TheLastSane1 do you happen to know why train derailments are so common?
@@kittyroid8123 Poor Regulations, Overworked Workers, Shortage of Workers, and Time restrains. Often the trains are not being examined well enough or long enough to note any parts that need replaced and so they break and cause a derailment. Because taking a train down for repairs costs money in repairs but also in downtime of the train. Its all basically down to the companies greed.
@@TheLastSane1 😬 That's so bad.
I'm sorry
@@kittyroid8123 deferred maintenance, refusal to buy man hours of human attentiveness.
Oh, the last sane 1 covered it better.
WAIT NICKELBACK HAS A NEW ALBUM? Imma pull a Florida.
Out of the park, again!
And I drive past that nuclear power plant almost every day… sigh
Tritium spills are common, the stuff is like salt water but worse it corrodes easy, but it's not very dangerous even if it got into the water supply the thing people don't get is that this is only "conserning" not "alarming" or "dangerous" not everything that can spill from a nuclear plant is harmful like uranium is
Lan yap. Lol
Thankyou for pronouncing natchitoches correctly 😭😭 I lose a brain cell every time I hear someone say it like notch-it-toe-ches
It’s like that Garfield and Friends joke
There is no such place as Wyoming. Think about it, have you ever met anyone from Wyoming?
Been there repeatedly, climbed Vida Voo (Vedauwoo), admired a hot springs pool near Wind River Canyon in NW, ate at founding location of Taco John's in Cheyenne.
Still successfully avoiding Frontier Days (rodeo invasion) in Cheyenne!
To be fair, after the school food and protections for trans folks up here... most of us didn't notice the nuclear leak. Most of us likely didn't know we had a plant in the first place.
Which is sad because we need more of them, the majority of our state is powered by that thing imagine if we had more, a little bit of tritium doesn't hurt anyone we could power the entire country with the amount of nuclear plants we could fit here
What the hell is a Wyoming
When aliens are proven true then what?
We continue our lives as normal?
Or we attempt to nuke them
There is no inbetween.
As a chef I’m happy I know all the words Louisiana said and he is damn right. If the government could get something done that mass of seaweed can be handled hundreds of ways and fight hunger. Also nori chips are great
That's... One way to deal with climate change in a positive way. And I helped my mother get her Chef's Certificate (Red Seal no less!) when I was a kid and understood... Half that? Look, it's been a long time since I was 10-years old, OK?
@@raymondcroteau it’s a lot of fancy French words for chop it up, cook it in a stew (the words change with what’s in the stew). And just make sure the stew is strong enough to cover the seaweed… pungency. Also half is impressive considering Louisiana cooking is mostly French
Trouble is this seaweed coming for florida is red tide so it’s inedible
Red tide, and it's full of arsenic. It can't even be used as fertilizer.
Tbh just turn it into sushi, everyone loves sushi
This is sargassum. Arsenic in its flesh. Dangerous to eat. Releases hydrogen sulfide when it rots. Don’t wanna be breathing that stuff.
If it were your normal, everyday seaweed, then absolutely, but this stuff is dangerous for humans.
After living in Louisiana all my life I have discovered 2 things about it that at universaly true for our state 1. If I breaths it's going in the pot and 2. If I doesn't breath it's still going in the pot for jambalaya
Florida: *Seaweed monster attacks* What did I do to deserve this? I mean what specifically?
That’d be Ben’s first 30-minute video skit 😂
@@HoneyBakedHam7 only thirty minutes?! How much do you want him to cut out?
@@DarkestElemental616 if it’s just an episode dishing out receipts to Florida, I don’t think it should take longer than 30.
At least, I hope not…
Do you want the five minute version or the full half hour?
As a Floridian who can't afford housing, I think the reelection of Ron DeSantis is enough of a reason. 🤷♀️
As a non-expert on the internet having done no research on this specific situation, the nuclear water should be fine, water is used to cool the plants and create steam to spin turbines. It shouldn’t be radioactive nor dangerous in any way.
Edit: ok, after doing some quick research here’s what I found:
The water leak was made public about a week ago but the actual spill happened about four months ago. The water is known as tritiated water, meaning that it contains tritium, which is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen. Tritium is basically harmless through outside exposure like if it touches your skin, this is because it produces beta particles which can’t penetrate on the skin, but it can be harmful if it’s ingested. They say that tritium can stay in the body for up to a little over a week, but it won’t have any life-threatening side effects. The best way to get water that has tritium in it out of your body is to replace it with regular water and sweat out the tritium water, but if done incorrectly this can end up being more dangerous in the short term because you might dehydrate yourself for make it so that you lose too many electrolytes in the process. So basically, so long as no water gets into crops or groundwater, everything should be fine. And the report I saw said that the water is completely contained within the power plant.
And if animals injest this plant. What happens?
@@Questfinder1 and then we eat those animals... Its the basics of the food chain. You contaminate 1 part... EVERYTHING above that gets affected.
@@Questfinder1 Industrial plant. Not a botanical plant.
Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen. Tritium is Hydrogen-3. Helium-3 is stable.
@@mstb2023 i watched Erin Brockovitch. Companies can claim anything they want while covering their own ass to not take responsibility for the lives they've taken.
As a French person, I am happy to say I understood most of what Louisiana was saying, and now I want to visit.
Okay sha come on down here and get you a big pot of gumbo, jambalaya, and etouffee.
Laissez Le bon ton roulet
@@u-law8149 that's a really nice thing to say, thank you 😊.
As someone who was stationed in Louisiana do not schedule your trip from May through September.
The humidity and heat will beat you down for the uniniated.
The food is outstanding.
@@shawnr771 Louisiana and Florida humidity is like any day of the week here in the Philippines during the dry season. It's why New Orleans is in my top 3 places in the US to visit.
@@jae_ster Better you than me.
I live in Texas.
We have humidity but nothing like Gulf Coast.
OMG! Forrest Gump - shrimp gumbo, bbq shrimp, shrimp creole .... Bubba goes on for days! 😂 This is brilliant Ben!
Yeah… as much as there’s some good legislation here in WA, there’s also a LOT of performativity. Still, even performative support is a hell of a lot better than what some states have been *ahem* banning.
In all seriousness, though, those bans are deeply troubling and deserve more criticism and backlash. It is scary that this is the current state of the nation.
A lot of it comes from older voters and politicians realizing that their political views are unpopular with younger generations so they are trying to ban things whilst they still have power and “fix” education to make sure the next generations are “raised right”
Loui, just cook dat seaweed up in a big pot with a ham hock like you would a mess of collards. :)
As a native born Louisiana resident, having his response to ongoing crisis be "how can I cook this" is so valid. As he was talking I was like "sh*t that sound good! save me sum!" So great job Ben.
I love how Ben still won't let Natchitoches go. Just... "You're wrong, and I'm going to keep screaming it until you _fix it!"_
YESS! We got some of the Cajun food represented here! Jambalaya is REALLY good!
Cajun Food: "We po'boys, so we eat everyting. Especially po'boy sandwiches."
Translate to American for us?
You mean Creole, right?
@@HoneyBakedHam7 No he doesn't you cook almost everything Lousiana said in this episode in creole and cajun styles... It's in the techniques or ingredients.
@@veanell this right here.
....all Louie has managed to do is make me hungry. Because imagine. A thick seaweed base for a seafood gumbo....bruh. and Cajun nori chips...I want.
California's been getting sassy and I am here for it 🎉
As I live in California they have no right to. They have at least Florida level of dumbness going on.
That period bill is gonna do real harm
Do parents not do anything anymore?
@@BigFootTheRealOne Are they allowed to do anything these days? Seriously with all the various States laws banning this that & everything under the sun. I'm surprised they haven’t reached the point where they just take them. Off their parents at birth & raise them in some giant collective.
@@BigFootTheRealOne it’s basic human anatomy, and not all parents teach their kids this. Why shouldn’t schools be allowed to teach it?
@@BigFootTheRealOne Who's teaching the parents about the body if they can't learn it in school? Parents don't know everything and can cause real harm to young girls... Also, I was 9 when I started my periods and I thought I was DYING and my mom was catholic... she just said I was becoming a woman... at 9 YEARS OLD... Harmful.
@ Ryan Pettit Not every parent is capable. And even for the ones that are, it should still be taught in schools as the basic anatomy that it is. Kids need support at home and in the classroom.
Thank you for continuing to make this "show." I watch it on repeat. Thank you for continuing to make my days better
Missed a chance to have DC and Puerto Rico demand to know why Wyoming is a state and they aren't.
Timing.
No one acknowledging North Dakota is the most accurate thing EVER
Cause it's mainly snow covered farmland and a few Air/Space force bases
“We still talk about you.”
💀💀💀 thank you, Ben, for that bit of gold!
Gotta admit I laughed so hard on that one I sprayed my tea across my computer. BTW Ben if you're reading this you owe me a new keyboard. I fried mine with the said tea spray. ☕🫖 + ⌨ = 💀⌨
Loving your content man, you ought do a skit on Governor Lee from TN letting his website lapse and get bought up by a gay rights activist
link it
Wait, how the hell did an internet comedy show let me know about a leak of nuclear water that the state covered up for months!? That school meal thing really did dominate the news
It didn't get reported until months afterward because it was an internal leak that was diverted to a temporary holding tank before any of the water escaped the facility. Apparently since the spill was fully contained and the water isn't a threat to human health unless it enters the water supply the plant wasn't required to notify the public.
It's too bad someone didn't make Ben aware of Naches (nat•cheese) WA. That would've been a perfect retort. I thought for a split second that was going to be the response and was prepared to be highly impressed.
As a Washingtonian this really makes me want a fun with names episode for us
Same
At least he got the correcting people on the native names bit this time
Please I need to hear attempts on pronouncing Puyallup and Sequim
As someone who recently moved to Washington from NY, I too would like to see this. There are definitely some interesting ones out here but I'm yet to find any that rival some of the places in NY (I'll direct you to Chili, Cairo, and Schaghticoke for some of my favorite bad examples)
Humptulips!
I’m curious to see if Virginia gets on one of the upcoming episodes due to the two inmates who dug through their cell wall with a toothbrush affixed with a small metal item only to be found the next morning at an IHOP 10 miles away ordering breakfast.
Honestly Louisiana dealing with an oncoming disaster with food is EXTREMELY in character, and I'm not just saying that cause I'm from Louisiana and my first thought about the seaweed was "I wonder if you can eat it"
Note after research: Turns out you can not eat it.
Yeah I eat gulf shrimp in KS again, tuning out BP's Deepwater Horizon leak.
Can it be made into livestock feed or fertilizer?
@@shawnr771 Nope. As it rots it releases hydrogen sulfide and the seaweed itself contains arsenic, making it nonviable as food of any sort or fertilizer. Apparently you can make it into soap tho. Selling it to commercial soap makers or sinking it into a deep part of the ocean are the two main solutions being talked about right now.
I hope one of the states timed how long Loui can go on to talk about how to cook seaweed XD
I'm pretty sure I understood at least 1/3 of Louisiana's suggestions. But then the Old Bay suggestion happened and well, that sounded like a halfway decent idea.
Don't worry, we won't shut down the roads from the same blizzard that hit ND - a Minnesotan from ND
I would happily listen to Louisiana suggesting what to cook with all that, I know it was just a joke but I get why Florida would just sit there and half listen
File' - a seasoning used in gumbo. Fillet - a cut of meat or fish
Also, Texans (at least SE Texans) know what file' is.
If: (1) your roux ain't brown, and (2) you don't put file' in your gumbo, I don't want it.
Dangit. I signed up for notifications cuz I had a really good joke that I thought would work perfectly for the channel, but the fact I forgot it, my dumbass internal monologue said "maybe he just posted a thirst trap and I just wanted to talk about how hot he is"..... And that's the moment I realized I was probably down bad. Lol
I love how you threw in a city name you mispronounced in another video and fixed it. Also good on you for saying lutefisk properly.
As someone from Wyoming, I love the reactions to seeing Wyoming in the video.
Blame Garfield. He's the one who convinced us Wyoming didn't exist.
@@fictionfan0 I mean, it's absolutely hilarious, and when you consider population amount it kinda makes sense that we aren't too well known. It is still funny to see people just like, "Wyoming, what's that?"
@@dcanilai2191 entered the union with first female voters, for one!
But then what happened?
@@robertacomstock3655 History wise? Buffalo Bill was cool... Importance of Wyoming? Yellowstone is primarily here, a couple of other cool natural things... And this is where rich people go to avoid people, which is understandable.
Wyoming, the second Colorado...
I don't know what's worse, not acknowledging Wyoming's existence or thinking that New Mexico is not a part of the country
As a Floridian living in natchitoches, me and my wife argue which is better, Cuban sandwiches or Muffelata’s. I honestly only say they’re better because I adore her Cajun French when she’s passionate about her cooking
North Dakota and Maryland in one episode!! Amazing 👏👏👏👏
California’s getting snarky with all his bad weather. Including tornadoes in SoCal
I understood all of that. Man, sometimes I just love being from Louisiana.
Surprised California didn't come in to say dry it and make kombu for stock and storage!
Ah Natichtoches (I don't care if I spelled it wrong, doesn't actually matter) just across the state line from Nacogdoches, TX (rhymes with Sack-o-roaches) which if you know it for anything, you know it for being the place where most of a space shuttle crashed and the JROTC guy my friend was dating and is now married to who was supposed to be guarding a piece of it got arrested for stealing it. Easy Texas is like the Florida of Texas. I got my college degree from the university there (SFASU go Lumberjacks). Wonder why no one wants to hire me?
Hey Ben, can you talk about the Israeli Minister who said that Palestinians aren’t a people next round?
There's nothing stopping a person in prison from running a presidential campaign. It's actually legal.
Our laws have the weirdest blind spots.
Cali at the end there,, oh god thats probably the best comeback theyve had so far 😭
Well, it's mud and maple tapping season again up here in Vermont...
Ben, I have a request. The anti trans bills have been much much worse recently and we need awareness.
Plz with Wyoming WV Missouri banning trans care
Yeah…we need to talk about this badly…
Oklahoma is banning Trans care also. And in Oklahoma city, they are making it a felony to dress in drag in public. So no one can hold drag shows at pride🥺
I don't think you mean what you think you mean
Didn’t his last video address all of that? With Florida in charge?
Ben can you talk abt the soldier killed recently at ft hood, I know you served and talking abt her would help the investigation… please
Another one? Damnit Ft Hood.That place really does need a full purge at this point.
Ah, Natchitoches
For whatever sadistic reason, I like showing non-Louisianians city and parish names from LA and just see what they come up. My go to places are Natchitoches itself, Pointe à la Hache, Avoyelles, Iowa, Rapides, Gonzales, and Choudrant. Never had them pronounced right on the first try.
No no, you coat it with butter and Old Bay and pop it in the oven for 15 minutes or so until it crisps up!
And I know I'm a real Marylander because I made this comment as a joke and then thought "actually, that would probably work really well if it's the right type of seaweed."
".. Kind of a weird question, but you do you." That got me! One of my closest friends uses that same turn of phrase, and I just felt that. XD
This being my first video on this channel kind of feels like walking past the living room while your uncle is yelling at the TV
How could I understand everything Louisiana just said
I just want to hear all ten minutes of Louisiana rattlin' off recipes.
Louie is just so perfect. Lagniappe 💜💜💜💜 there used to be a mime in Disneyland named Lagniappe
Nuclear spills give water flavor.
Tritium is the tastiest isotope of water
True
Louisiana being French and American at the same time
Can you make another Ben breaks down bills video for all the anti-trans bills going around in Florida, Georgia, Ohio, Texas, Virginia...?
As an aspirant cook: Lousiana going "with enough jois de vivre" Is hilarious. Because it's basically going "with enough balls we can make a spaghetti" it's he's so right.
Seaweed etoufee...
Louisiana got me SALAVATING and googling recipes to Frankenstein.
To my understanding the main reason why they keep proposing a ban on Tik Tok is because of how closely its' parent company works with the CCCP or in simpler terms the US government doesn't like how easy it is for the CCCP to get intel on the US and its' army since a decent chunk of our soldiers have TikTok. Also it was proven to be a backdoor device or something like that. I mean it's not the first time we've banned a company for being too close to the CCCP. Take Huawei for example.
“Now who wants jambalaya?”
- Alastor, and apparently Louisiana
@BenBrainard341 this made me very sad. I thought Ben might have actually commented, but it was just a scammer. Truly a failure of humanity.
I'll be honest, I found a video that was something like "10 reasons not to move to Wyoming," and every single one of them made me want to move there more. Except for the lack of hospitals, my wife had medical needs that would be hard to get the...
as a Louisiana-ian I love that louisiana accent. its so rare in these parts of the state. Id like to think we Baton Rouge-ians speak with less accent than our Nawlins and Lafayette counterparts, but apparently when i online game people can still call me out on my Southern accent. 😅
Great depiction of Loui (except the cortbouillion). Especially good pronunciation of Natchitoches!
You d***, is this why I've been spilling my manifestation elixir all over the place lately? 😂
I almost thought this was about the truck that turned over yesterday and spilled a bunch of milk cartons on the highway here in PA
What if there was a one where you only left in the bloopers, it would be quite the watch! And also I like that other states are following colorado on giving kids free meals at school.
how did new orleans only get to jambalaya after 10 minutes, that is like 2/3 or their identity
I used to live in Natchitoches. we called it nasty toe cheese. and I LOVED the AR BIT.
So funny thing about that radio active water spill that shit happened in November last year and they only just announced happened. The best part is that they aren't even done cleaning it up!
They reported it to the authorities though. It just didn't reach the public until recently. It's not like they tried to pretend it didn't happen.
They are 25% done. That basically means any danger is already over, you need a lot of this stuff to cause anyone Any real harm so reducing the amount by 25% is enough to basically guarantee it's going to be fine by the time they have that at 100
At a regular zoo, there is a description of the animal. At a Cajun zoo there is a description and a recipe.
People from Louisiana are a breed apart. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Grew up in the 10 mile radius of that nuclear power plant... I'm glad it's been confined to unused groundwater, but still, YIKES. This is why my parents live upwind, not downwind, lol. Also, go Minnesota on giving all students free meals!
Oh don't worry about it, tritium isnt very toxic even if someone did drink some they would only really be in serious danger if they consumed a whole glass of the pure stuff, and you can taste the difference I have personally drank tritiated water (don't drink tritiated water unless you want to) it's actually really common for old wine to contain tritium. It's really not as bad as some people think
Fun fact, that bloom heading through the gulf has a TON of arsenic in it.
Haul the sea weed to farm fields to put Iodine back into the soil.