Two Things You Can Do To Stop Ruminating
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- Опубликовано: 8 май 2024
- The term ruminate means to run a thought over and over in your mind. This is the figurative definition. The literal definition refers to cows regurgitating their food to chew it over and over.
Rumination is not a diagnosis all to itself, we see it in depression and anxiety. Rumination causes people to get stuck in their thoughts and even feel stuck in the negativity of their condition. Typical negative depressive ruminations may be things like: why do I always get the short end of the stick? Why can’t I be happy like everyone else?
Anxious ruminations tend to be worrying about things that happened in the past like analyzing past situations and worrying about what kind of impression you left, or what did that person mean by that. At the time she said what she did, you didn’t think that much of it, but when you get to the end of the day and start ruminating over the interaction, what the person said takes on a completely different meaning. And it’s usually a negative meaning.
In both scenarios, it’s repetitive, unhelpful, negative thinking. This is different from deconstructing a past situation so that you can process it and problem solve. In that case, analyzing the past is constructive and you’re not stuck only thinking about the negative aspects of the situation.
Why does this happen?
It’s thought to be related to overactivation of the default mode network in your brain. I talked about this in a video I did on mindfulness and depression. The gist of it is the default mode network is the area of the brain that control stimulus-independent thought. Said another way, the area of your brain that controls what you’re thinking about when you’re not actively focused on something. It’s like background thought. Studies have shown that people are more unhappy when they spend a lot of time with their minds wandering. Functional MRI scans looking at brain activity show that the default mode network in your brain is more activated when you are ruminating.
What do you do about this?
Two things. One is to spend more time being mindful. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in your current circumstance without judgment. If you bring your attention to what you’re currently doing and how it is affecting all five of your senses, you now have dependent thought because you’re actively paying attention to something. Your default mode network where you spend time ruminating is turned off. For more on mindfulness check out the mindfulness video. I also have a body scan audio download that goes along with that video.
The second thing you can do is develop an if/then action plan. The first part is creating a list of outward signs that you are ruminating. This is what you’re feeling at the time. Since you can get lost in your head, you may not always be aware of what you’re feeling. Some outward signs are things like rocking, fidgeting, feeling your heart race or you may start to get a headache. Take note of your signs so you can easily recognize when you’re in this state.
Then you want to write plan for what you’re going to do when you notice that you are ruminating. You want to turn to an activity that will distract you from the rumination.
These activities can be relaxing - like listening to a guided meditation or doing a craft, or putting entries into your gratitude journal.
Then you want to form your if/then statements with these two pieces of information. You want to write this down to make it official. You don’t want to keep it all in your head. After all you’re trying to get out of your head.
You want to come up with as many if/then scenarios as you can. You definitely want to cover all of your rumination trigger signs. But for each sign, you may want to have 2 or three activities you will engage in so you can have some variety.
Mindfulness and Depression video
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Reference
Berman MG, Peltier S, Nee DE, Kross E, Deldin PJ, Jonides J. Depression, rumination and the default network. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2011;6(5):548-555.
Want to know more about mental health and self-improvement? On this channel I discuss topics such as bipolar disorder, major depression, anxiety disorders, attention deficit disorder (ADHD), relationships and personal development/self-improvement. I upload weekly. If you don’t want to miss a video, click here to subscribe. goo.gl/DFfT33
Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
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Humiliating memories get stuck in my head sometimes. I have to talk myself out of it. "who cares, I'm probably the only one who remembers that incident ".
Really struggling with that lately too
This used to torment me too. The loop that went around and around in my head felt like such a big part of my existence it felt like it was me. As I had excellent therapies over the years, my struggle with this has dissipated. Although not completely gone it is not nearly so debilitating. Incorporating mindfulness in simple ways helped. Nothing monumental. Just everyday things like lifting my head up when I walked, looking around and noticing things instead of looking down and stuck in my ruminations. It helped me feel part of the wider world not just the tiny world of my thoughts. Another was feeling the heat of plates and cutlery when I unpacked the dishwasher and focussing on the task at hand. This pulled my sometimes far-flung, scattered, painful ruminations back to a focal point that eased the torment of my mind. Remember that we are so deeply human, flawed and still lovable, we can behave poorly and be absolutely forgivable. I really hope you find peace of mind. xo
@@suziecheeseman3760 lovely & encouraging comment! 💖🙏☝
Me too.
@Yolanda Estrada Me too! It can hurt like heck sometimes. Sometimes I have to give my own brain a talking-to: "We are not going to think about that anymore! Think about it some other time. Gimme my mind back. I need to use it now." I think it kind of works.
It gets obsessive, it literally goes on and on. It makes me sad
I feel the same way too
it makes me hate everything I do
@@vivixeyl5380 same especially if simeone comments on ur physical apparance even if u r normal and then tht thiught plays on r mind for more then a month i feel like its making an eating disorder trigger in me 😭
It gave me self hatred maybe even depression once.
@@alexh7146 if the rumination is affecting your physical health you must meet your physician. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Best part is mood swings also reduce. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Rumination has been THE biggest source of misery in my life. The feeling of utter hopelessness and deep regret. Even when I try and stop replaying the thoughts, the feelings are still there😭
Just concentrate on ur breathe..hear urself breathing.. put ur earplugs on so u can hear ur breath.. just concentrate on breathe in breathe out.. it will be difficult but pls do it.
Stopping a thought is like saying ... Dont think of a purple Monkey... Now ur mind is thinking of a purple monkey... So just breathe....just focus on ur breathe...
Im so sorry for you... i hope life gets better from now on, youll find the light at the end of the tunnel one day!! Just believe it!!
Here's what I do. I say to myself, "Ok, you want to think about it, then let's REALLY think about it!" I then start at the beginning of the event, time, place, and go thru every detail. Who hurt me, how I handled it. I tell myself, yeah that really hurt, it sucked, they were mean, I messed up, I felt so embarrassed. But, I'm still here, and that event is GONE. It's ok to feel the hurt, but it's not ok for the hurt to run your feelings. I find trying to hold the thoughts back makes them persist, like a song stuck in your head. Focusing thought on them shifts it from a nagging memory to analysis with a different part of your brain, she talked about it in the previous video.
Same
I ruminate over the most painful things that have happened, it has ruined who I used to be, I used to be happy and now I cannot stop thinking
Same here
im exactly the same , idnt know what to do
Same
Hey rumination crew, feel free to use here to escape your thoughts. RUclips comment section is great to escape into
I'm the same way. It truly sucks. I pray we all find our way out of this and have peace in our heads. God bless!!
I´m not a therapist, but I find distracting yourself from your thoughts doesn´t work in the long run. It just builds more resistance to the thought. Instead, write the thought out on paper WITHOUT judging whatever comes out no matter how shameful, hateful, bigoted, selfish, etc you think the thought is. Having these thoughts doesn´t make you a bad person. You are not your thoughts. What you resist persists. Transfer your thoughts to paper so your mind doesn´t keep analyzing it. It works!
Thanks i will try this ....i did in the past and it helped but im not sure it will help this time but im hopeful.
I journal my thoughts and moods and why I'm having these feelings.
You saved me 7 minutes of my life and added 7 decades.
@@chronologizer422 did you recover?
@@orest7230 No, I just know how to prepare myself for my future after 2025
Ruminating has been a part of my life, my WHOLE life
It can feel as my operating mode, Seriously!
@@jomarysdemorizi8779 factz
YES it’s so exhausting
Same here
Same it drives me nuts. :(
Dang. Why does life have to be so hard...work at this, go get therapy for that, this that this that. I just want to start over from scratch sometimes and still remember all of this stuff so I don’t freaking do it again. That’s it.
@Lisa V I am sure you are under some medication. Combine medication, meditation and a daily prayer for a better life. Whenever you can in the daytime sit in one place and just observe your in coming and outgoing breath for a few minutes. You will feel nice My best wishes are with you. Shyaaam Sir-Counsellor. I am also praying for you.
Yep
@Lisa V Best wishes.
@Lisa V …sounds like your thoughts are a wreck happening over and over.
So sorry. Do you have a good support system?
@Lisa V …best regards, hon. I’m saying a prayer for you.
Important to learn about rumination:
When we think we've done something stupid or embarrassing, we generally tend to overestimate the *duration* and *intensity* of other people's judgments about the situation, especially our role in it.
Simply put:
1) People aren't thinking about us or stewing over events as much as we think they are
2) Their feelings aren't as harsh and critical as we think they are
Be kind to yourself 🕊
I want to add to this that people will ALWAYS remember how you made THEM feel rather than remember how YOU feel about yourself. Im no guru who has mastered this, I still have insecurities I worry about too but this is a good reminder to yourself that how you treat people matter more than the flaws you percieve in yourself.
Yeah, I will do that…then when I think it was not a big deal, it was; so I go back to, I should have thought about it more.
This is excellent advice.
Although this might be true, I think what you are doing right here might be a compulsion. The goal is not to reason with anxiety, the goal is to stop carrying. Even if the people do think the way we fear they do, we should rather not give into these thoughts since the this fear (that people might think bad about us) should not be a fear in the first place (or at least not in this intensity). Don't say "the people don't think that way", say "Maybe, maybe not". This helped me way more.
"Studies have shown that people are more unhappy when they spend their time with their minds wandering" (good thing to keep in mind)
I believe that
@@jessie9653 Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing anxiety and negative thoughts. . For a relaxed life without anxiety-stress sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath and body sensations for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Avoid moving too much. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath with eyes open or closed. Best part is mood swings also reduce after daily meditation. Do the above meditation daily twice to feel relaxed. For more thought control tips enter the following on google search and listen with headphones before sleep and if possible in the morning-52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will feel much better. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Yes, this can be difficult in retirement.
❤
I start ruminating as soon as I go to bed. I can ruminate for hours over past events, old hurts, what I am going to do in the future, etc.
My mind just will not shut off!
Listening to Gregorian Chants helps me. The repetative rythym of the chanting seems to distract my thoughts.
This is when meditation is helpful 😊
Same story here: Zen music relaxes me enough to sleep.
I know that feels I have gotten a lot of relief by watching yt chanels on mental health
Enigma is another great one for that
I seriously need to start back meditating because I’ve been ruminating for too long and it is draining the energy out of me 😫😣🤕
I only ruminate when i didnt get to say things i feel like i should have said, and i stop when i actually get those things off my chest. If i go out doors it helps but once i get back home or have time alone it starts back. Thanks for the info though
Ohhh God sameeee!!!♥️
Just Empress, Take some action today. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts. For a relaxed life without anxiety-stress sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath and body sensations for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Best part is mood swings also reduce. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen with headphones before sleep and if possible in the morning-52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Journaling is very helpful
@@candy2325 I actually did turn to Journaling and you're right it does help alot. I'm also reading this book called Master your emotions it's been helpful thus far. Thanks alot
@@handeercel6966 Only if thought rumination becomes too much consulting a psychologist may be needed. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without anxiety-negative thoughts sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Best part is mood swings also reduce. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. Find peace of mind. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
1
I see a lot of people struggling with this thing and here's a little help which I've learned over time and it has helped me alot. So whenever you find yourself ruminating, just calm yourself down. Guide that thought with 'Shhh, Stop'. Be gentle with yourself and don't beat yourself up for thinking this way. This is very psychological and almost everyone goes through this thing. You need not worry about it. Practice breathing exercises before you go to bed. Most of the times it isn't about the person/situation you're ruminating about, it has everything to do with you. Vision your goals and let go of the past. Forgive yourself, thank yourself, and love yourself. For if that particular thing did not happen in your life, you probably wouldn't end up where you are today. You got this. You are not your thoughts. You are you. You can change your thoughts, it will be troublesome in the beginning but you'll make it, I promise. ❤️
Thankyou thats a beautiful reminder and something I need to work on. Being kind and loving to my inner self:)
𝓢𝓗𝓱𝓱𝓱, 𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓹
Will try this more…
❤️
Thank you for sharing. 🌻💛 God bless you. 🙏🏾
@@createdbeing8166Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
@@maydavalle Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
I find podcasts and books on tape help me. Hearing a voice in your head other than yours is a good distraction.
Agreed.
My friend has rumination syndrome and I want to help him out is there anything else that you know that can help? He’s 18 years old and is about to go to college
Tayden Baker I also like to walk for exercise. Or any kind of exercise is good. Hobbies are a good distraction. I’m getting back into playing music.
I listen to Howard stern and Joe rogan
Suggestions ⁉️
This is also called overthinking. I trained myself to diminish it over time but I used to be a world class accomplished expert at it. I convinced myself it was a complete waste of my time. It took years but it's greatly better than it was.
I keep saying that too, but I find it really hard to stop and not to get angry in my head. Did meditation help you?
@@dinasimone9815 Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing anxiety and negative thoughts. . For a relaxed life without anxiety-stress sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath and body sensations for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Avoid moving too much. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath with eyes open or closed. Best part is mood swings also reduce after daily meditation. Do the above meditation daily twice to feel relaxed. For more thought control tips enter the following on google search and listen with headphones before sleep and if possible in the morning-52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will feel much better. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
@@dinasimone9815 my trick was to allow myself 15 minutes planned each day to go over the things I was ruminating on, but at other times my switch was to say "no, this is not the time" and I'd do something to distract. It took about 8 months first time , each time I've needed to do this it takes less time (a few weeks)
no
This isn’t the same as overthinking
You're in your own prison. Literally existing in a nightmare every day.
Couldn't agree more
Gfsurvived, Practical action is needed. Heal yourself from negative thoughts. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 10-15 minutes or more. Let thoughts come. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Whenever you are free sit still for a few minutes and observe your breath. Being still reduces negative thoughts. Make it a habit. Do the above meditation regularly to have a better life. Best wishes and prayers. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Birth is a curse and existence is prison
@@Krusher_K For a better and more relaxed life do the simple breath observing practice I msgd you regularly. I have been doing it for the last 15 years and feel relaxed. Read more about positive effects of breathing on the brain aon google. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir-Counsellor.
Mans just described my whole life.
Today, I am still thinking about how my neighbor poisoned and killed my dog in 1969, when I was 4 years old. Now I'm 56, and it still hangs in there with all of the other horrible and humiliating experiences that I've had during my entire life.
That is horrible and entirely understandable it would be shocking always. It's amazing the impact creepy, cruel people have or that they have to do these mean-spirited things to others. And when things happen to us in our childhood, that remains a long time with us. We were young and vulnerable. Everyone has humiliating experiences, we are all there with you. The world is full of such creeps unfortunately. It's the shock value and sense of betrayal -- especially when cruelty comes from people we respected or thought we knew or we least expected the event to occur. 1) Creeps do this because something is wrong within them, 2) they demonstrated themselves not worthy of our respect, and 3) thank God we are not them. We just had the misfortune to merely cross into their path like a deer. Pray life fixes them and if not, they go where they can't hurt people. It's more horrible to be the jerk who does things to others and doesn't get this is wrong. What would you advise your 4 year old self? Whatever you'd say, you'd likely include hugging your 4 year old self, too. The world needs more people like you to safeguard us from the mean-spirited ones.
Drum Wild. You neighbour will be punished for his bad deed. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts. For a relaxed life without anxiety-stress sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath and body sensations for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Best part is mood swings also reduce. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen with headphones before sleep and if possible in the morning-52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
I get it,I really do. From a friend in Iowa.
Do you have a creative outlet? Something with the hands, like pottery, silversmithing or stained glass...
Why did he do that?
I've started saying to myself, "I don't have to think about this right now." Sometimes I have to distract myself with something really inane, like naming a fruit or vegetable for every letter of the alphabet. It's a constant struggle for me to turn my brain off.
I’m going to try this! Sounds simple enough to start, refocus and lengthy enough to distract me for a while.
that doesn't sound like ruminance, but more OCD-like traits/personality, maybe looking for information in that area might be more helpful for you, xoxo.
@@iamzxfra4266 He's talking about a method to stop ruminating.
Yes I constantly relive embarrassing moments and things I wish I'd never said or done .
Sometimes I do this too. Ive done things I’m very ashamed of. I find it helpful to tell myself, “I’ve learned from my mistakes and won’t do that again.” It’s genuine. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way.
@@whisperingleaves4157 thank you .
@Seven Inches of Throbbing Pink Jesus No clue what you’re talking about.
Only knowing the fact that 'you never have the free will' to do anything right or wrong would alleviate you from any guilt or pain from the past ! It is just beyond our control so don't bother !
I’ve been ruminating over a breakup for nearly two and a half years now and it’s kept me in a state of raw grief nearly the whole time. It’s awful.
I've been ruminating about dying and having cancer and stuff
I feel that ...
Watching my life pass me by...
@@xiarue-spedup A mind that is not at ease is diseased and that can lead to a diseased body. Be careful what you dwell on.
Im ruminating over my fuck ups and my schizophrenia diagnosis I got recently fucked up I had a good life
I never knew it had a name. I have done this majority of my life since I was in high school, and that's when my anxiety developed. My mind is always spinning throughout the day, just on old scenarios, trauma, and mistakes I've made. I'm just constantly repeating the same things. Now I see what it is and can take action. Maybe I can finally battle my social anxiety.
Tell yourself " I am allowed to think about something else" , " I can think about good outcomes", "everyone has troubles, I am glad I have my own". Helped me.
It's interesting to know that we are ALL experiencing this. I thought I was the only one 😳
Dr Tracey is so talented with her delivery, approach and tone. She’s the type of angel, that so many need!
I wish she could council me,I've never come across anyone like her in real life.
I feel like she's clear but has no compassion. I feel like she rattles off everything that is wrong with everyone, and it has me feeling like we just need to die since we're garbage.
I have only watched a few of your videos. I’m finding a lot of value in them. I have attended in person therapy off and on for the last 6 years. I think my therapist was a great fit for the first two years but after that we no longer fit so well- we just fell into a pattern that was no longer productive, not to say anyone was at fault but neither of us acknowledged that it wasn’t working any more. Your videos feel direct and to the point, things I can start thinking about and trying that aren’t huge life altering things. Amazing- thank you.
Am a terrible ruminator: and it gets me bloody nowhere: peace to us all!
Kirk, Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing anxiety and negative thoughts. . For a relaxed life without anxiety-stress sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath and body sensations for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Avoid moving too much. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath with eyes open or closed. Best part is mood swings also reduce after daily meditation. Do the above meditation daily twice to feel relaxed. For more thought control tips enter the following on google search and listen with headphones before sleep and if possible in the morning-52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will feel much better. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
To everyone watching this, Jesus loves you.
I think I'm both a depressive and anxious ruminator. I'm still processing my emotions and figuring out what I struggle with, and how I can help alleviate it. Thank you so much for creating the free mindful guides, I really appreciate it! :)
You’re welcome pinky. Enjoy the meditations.
Stop
@@DrTraceyMarks help
Yes, me too, but I discovered a way to stop ruminating. I'll tell you later in details.
This is really help! I always ruminate like over-analyzing past scenarios and usually turn out to negative thinking. Thanks for making this video.
Wow! I tend to focus and ruminate on the negative when it occurs in my life. Which tends to overshadow all the good/positive that may have occurred on any given day. Thanks for bringing the matter up in your forum. Much appreciated.
Thank you so much, Doctor, for taking the time to help in this way. I really appreciate that you are doing this. Regards and thank you ...Michael
I just realized how specific and common this is. I always described it as uncontrollable repetitive thought. Every time i have conflict it becomes a nightmare. Glad I found your post and glad i have the right label for it.
This is a good reminder to immediately take action when I start noticing my thoughts/rumination physically hurt my head, neck and make my jaw clench so tightly. I feel better knowing that I can always resolve with concrete plans to ease/alleviate the aches and hopefully even better, feeling in control of my mind and confident about it. It's not easy to convince myself that I deserve to feel good and alright, but when I actually do feel it and force myself to allow the good feelings to wash over me, I'll make myself remember this by heart so whenever I feel low and down, I know what to do to make myself feel better. I think this is gonna be a long term mental exercise for me with my anxiety and depression.
My head won’t leave my head alone. Constantly reminds me of my past failures and mistakes. Constantly rehearsing what I’d say if I ran into this or that person.
You’re so wonderful and helpful. When I watch you whether or not it applies to me I feel positive and empowered
I have done this for as long as I can remember. I know I started as a young child. I would think, what could I have done differently. How can I act more like my siblings so she will love me like them? I would watch my sibling’s behavior to try and act that way too. Nothing ever worked. I was not smart enough to figure it out. I eventually started acting out around the age of 16 when I was around her, I got her attention. Looking back NOT the attention I really wanted.
I have learned now to watch improvement videos like this during this crazy year. You’re a blessing to me. You and others on RUclips have helped me move forward. When I turned 18 I sought out help for the sexual assaults that happened to me as a child. I never sought out help for the domestic violence I witnessed and experienced as a child. Thanks to my daughter I will be doing that when this pandemic is over. Thank you for all the links plus the “If then action plan”.
I always feel that mental well-being deserve more focus in daily life more than ever. These videos are very informative.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you ! Finally, an explanation I can use to identify and distract this painful vicious loop of negative thoughts which torments me now for over 40 years ! If it's not an unwanted, uninvited negative thought about me, it'll be one about someone or something else: it'll return visit to me later in my day: then it'll go round and round and round, feeding my negativity and misguided guilt. What a waste of precious mental energy! It forces me to physically nap every day because it saps my energy, energy I would love to use in my enjoyment of everyday life. Thank you immensely Dr for your practical suggestions on replacing this loop ! They make valued sense !
I love how you tell us to meditate and then actually have meditation tracks for us ❤
The accuracy of this RUclips algorithm is getting scary
Agreed 🤯 !!!!
Just popped in to say thank you so much for your channel and all that you do. Your videos are so incredibly logical and helpful, and have shed so much light on some of these things for me personally. Thank you and keep being you! ❤️🙏🏼✨
Dr. Marks provides extremely high quality information rapidly and professionally.
I like the written summary of the video with reference links to other resources.
A video like this can improve life immediately.
Thank you for this video so much. When I ruminate over things, they usually revolve around if I'm a bad person or not, and often I have a hard time telling this apart from holding myself morally accountable. This video was very instructive on that front
this made me feel less lonely. This is exactly what i do. I will think of things that people have clearly taken the wrong way and then feel awful and cant stop thinkinhg how offensive they couldve taken that
Thank you so much for all of your videos Dr. Marks. Actually understanding the physiological, psychological reasons why we humans think, feel, and act certain ways is half the battle in overcoming them. I feel like I'm learning computer hacks for my brain. 🙂
I'm so glad I found you pretty lady Dr. Tracey!!!!! This is something I do often I have been practicing mindfulness, gratitude journaling and will incorporate the other things that you mentioned!
Thank you for your helpful & life affirming content, Dr. Marks. I think I was a cow in a past life for how much I ruminate. I find that doing something creative snaps me out of it, so I took up watercolor painting. Also watching something scientific like a Neil DeGrasse Tyson documentary or a technological show like Modern Marvels or How It’s Made on Netflix helps me switch to the logic side of my brain.
I've said it before. Your video presentations are the best that I've seen. Always extremely informative. And I appreciate the fact that the background in your videos are distraction-free. This has the effect of causing me to pay that much more attention to what you're saying. Not that I wouldn't have been paying the closest attention anyway. And you have a very compelling public speaking voice too. Okay, I'll stop now, lest I make all of us sick.
Lol! Please make me sick 😀
I appreciate the feedback on my background though. I wondered if it was too plain. I was going to put a painting on the wall but thought it might be too distracting. So I’m glad to know I’m on the right track with that.
I totally agree! Very high quality videos 👍
I agree....you are very well spoken, informative and offer solid advice. I appreciate the non distracting background as well.
I agree with the plain background it's very calming and not distracting
Dr thank you you're helping the world by helping Us through by this app God bless you for your many Many Works I really am crying because im thankful you exist My Lord Thank you Queen❤💎👑
Oh my God! This is me! Thank you for this video. I need to go over this with my doctor, it kinda controls my life. You're the best 👍🙌👏
You're welcome AragonCharm! 🤗👍
Greetings Dr. Marks
I am a 1st time viewer and am pleased that you are answering questions that I currently have.
I love your voice and the way you speak Tracey, its so peaceful ❤️ thank you for your service
My mind,never switches off, drains me .
I can remember conversations that I think I should've said or done something different
I do the same..incessantly. Fully knowing I will never be able to do this with a Narcissist..
@@darlalong1957 When you feel the familiar cycle begin, say STOP. Say it out loud. You are telling yourself to stop.
Sameeeee
We all experience this. Regrets over things said in spite, or things said with good intentions that still ended up causing hurt, unintentionally so. It's part of life. We go through hundreds (if not thousands) of interpersonal interactions throughout our lives, and it's really the law of averages dictating that they're not all going to go smoothly, no matter how much we want them to.
What has helped me is to:
1.) Forgive yourself. Recognize that you're human and that you're not infallible, either from rash emotion, poor decision-making, or mistakes in judgement and/or communication. Take the lessons from the negative experiences that you can, and...
2.) Move on. The past is truly the past. You can't change it. It's done. Living in the past on some mental loop that can never be altered is doing no one any good. Again, take the lesson learned, and leave the pain behind.
3.) Empathy. The regret you've felt in yourself, for so long, is all around you in other people. When a confrontation crosses your path, or another person's words don't seem to come out right, remember when you were on the other side of the exchange.
Never judge anyone (including yourself) over any single interaction. Never take full stock in someone else's opinion of you from a single interaction.
@@missioncodez Thank you for this, it has really helped ♡
I'm a social worker with anxiety and depression. So your videos are very helpful for both my personal and work life
Hi Dr Marks your videos are informative. This is my number one problem. I seem to play things over and over. I have a clinical therapist now. Watch a lot of Dr Ramani’s videos and have to keep doing mental health check ins everyday during this enduring time. I really appreciate the help.
I do this a lot & didn’t know it was a thing. I thought I was the only one.
Oh, my gosh! This is wonderful and fascinating information. Thank goodness there are things you can do about it. Thank you so much for this video, Dr. Marks!
You’re welcome Kymberly 😊
Thank you for your focused, clarity! You are a great help to me, and no doubt many, many others! Blessings to you!
Dear Doc, I have to confess this to you ... whenever I listen to your videos tears flow down ....they are tears of gratitude.... feeling blessed t
If rumination is what separates me from being a narcissist, I do embrace it.
Ohhh.....
@Jo H backwards........
Nah man, my brother is a narcissist and he has OCD, which makes him ruminate.
Your videos have been so helpful in my fight against my depression. Thank you. Please consider talking about suicidal ideation; how it comes about and how it can be dealt with. Thanks.
Thank you! Lately I’ve been realizing when I’m sleeping I’m still thinking about things. This helped a lot. Thanks!
Thank you for putting a transcript in the description box!!!! Videos and movies/tv without subtitles make it hard for me to focus 🧘🏻♀️
I don't know why I've never come across your channel before, but I'm certainly glad I found it today. I'm up at 3 in the morning for this very reason. I've struggled with anxious ruminating for as long as I can remember, ever since I was a child. I'm now in my 40s and it has only gotten worse with age. I ruminate on everything from minor interactions that no one else probably even remembers, to big life changing issues. The current topic that I can't stop going over is the death of a loved one last year. I keep thinking that if I had just taken the person to a different doctor, or not allowed them to be given certain meds, or maybe if I had tried different supplements or techniques at home, if I had changed just one thing maybe they'd still be with me. What I feel isn't just normal grieving. The mourning is so intense that I often feel physical pain. I do try meditating and practicing mindfulness, but as soon as I stop, the thoughts just come flooding back. Recently someone close to me told me that the person who died wouldn't want me to keep suffering. I know that's true, but my mind just won't shut up and my heart won't stop hurting.
I'm so sorry you are hurting, I deal with the same things you are describing. I'm always scared my family with die and I will be all alone. I can't even sleep because I wake up in a panic
I am with you. It is though you wrote my life story. I read your comment and started crying, again. The most help I got from my family growing up was my mother telling me I think too much. It is my husband (Angus, I’m using his name here), who I can’t forgive myself for letting down. I needed God to give me a knock in the head to get my attention to pay attention to Angus when he wasn’t feeling well a year ago and get him to the doctor, instead I let him go to bed to rest. He never woke up. A little over a year ago. I am sorry for your loss. But if you hadn’t written your comment I would still feel like I’m all alone. Thank you for sharing your grief. I am sorry for your sorrow. You are not alone and I hope you will find joy in other loved ones to continue on this sad journey we are on together. 💔❣️🙏🌎🌍🌏
Thank you Dr. Marks. You're the smartest doctor i know.
I've been there..I've learned to get over that style of thinking..I've learned to practice spiritual growth and development by focusing on positive future success.. Putting people and situations that were negative to me, behind me..I've grown to be mindful of my situation and not concentrate on things I can't change but spend more time building furniture, painting, or reading...More so just be grateful for a good life..it has changed me so much.
Thank you Dr. Marks. I just have a 24/7 open brain. Your approach to solve problems is very helpful. I find your way explaining everything very pragmatic and easy to understand. You made me love psychiatry. ❤️
After a relationship with an histrionic borderline I was completely lost in rumination. Today, after studying a lot, I know it's totally normal and expected, but at the time... I hope this video can help many people. Best luck🍀❤☺
My ruminating occurs when situations are out of my control. When I have to depend on people especially in 2020 when everyone has gone nuts. Good ideas though thank you!
Yess this occurs when I feel used or abuse
@@keystewart6235 Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
@@shyaaammeneen63 thanks I'm going to do this today when I start to feel over whelmed thank you
@@keystewart6235 Oberving the breath is a very simple practice--no deep inhalation-exhalation, no breath counting but it has to be done with a strong desire to transform from within. I have been doing it for years and feeling relaxed. . Whenever you can be as still as possible because stillness reduces thoughts. Read more about positive effects of the breath on the brain on google. Be motivated.
Thanks
Excellent. Thank-you!!!
Mindful ness is what I need to do. I am getting flash backs invading my front lobe memory due to Being in denial for so long. The crazy thing is, I am not mad at anyone and I have no regrets. Most memories have departed. Yet certain episodes flash back. I am not depressed, yet I feel out of sorts and disconnect ed. Staying busy has been my only saving grace as you stated exercise helps and engaging in challenging work or projects.
I feel more calm just listening to this. AWESOME! Thank you for the insight and the can-do suggestions. Writing is essential in my opinion.
The mind is so capricious during rumination that I've found if you make an effort to distract yourself by thinking of something nice and especially something that appeals to your emotions, like your pets, hobbies or people you like, you'll find it will follow that path just as easily. Great information on these videos by the way.
Emlyn Williams, If thought rumination affects your internal health a visit to the psychologist may be needed. Heal yourself. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Best part is mood swings also reduce. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more healing enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations for 10 minutes in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
You are the true essence of an Expert, thank you.
I NEEDED THISSSSS 🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you for posting this!!!!
@Dr. Tracey Marks, this video was really helpful. I didn't know about brain's default mode. Please speak more about how we can stop rumination, introspection, over-analyzing, thought loops, constantly being in our head, being overly focused on ourselves or our past/future, etc. Knowing these techniques can save lives. Thank You!
Suffice it to say, I would envy a rock. It can't feel. It can't think.
"And a rock feels no pain." ~ Paul Simon
Spooky im called Paul Simon #####
@@paulflint6254 Your name is Paul Simon? Sheesh, that _is_ spooky.
One of my necessary songs. I'm bipolar and I ruminate.
I disagree, "I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all" ~3 days grace
@@EllencyOfficial If you were forced to choose between feeling nothing at all or feeling too much pain too much of the time you'd choose the former over the latter. Unfortunately there will have been millions in this world who will have known only pain while they were alive.
Hello. I am dealing with anxious rumination a lot. My therapist told me not to push my thoughts away. I just have to accept they are there. Distracting from them is a short term solution, they come back. You just accept and don't judge your thoughts or yourself for having them. It is okay that you are having a bad time, you are allowed to be how you are and you are not 'crazy' for being this way. It's the acceptance and you trusting yourself and making yourself feel safe that will help but it takes time and there isn't a magic trick to just make it all go away at once. It has gotten so much better for me for a while but currently it is 6am and I am ruminating again about work on a Sunday morning. I'd say if you have that problem, you need a therapist. It is such an isolating experience. I wish you all more mindfullness!
Extremely helpful information, thank you)
And I am one of those people, who thought about rumination as an integral part of their lives and had no idea it’s a negative thing you have to deal with somehow
This was very helpful, if only because it helped clarify what exactly rumination is. Most of what I am working on with myself is similar, but now it seems that still may not be the core issue.
Mostly my deep thought-storms are productive in nature: I'm problem-solving. That's fine, but now I often feel I have so many answers to so many issues that are only my responsibility in so far as I am a human on this planet in the 21st century and we all arguably have some responsibility for said issues.
That's still probably implicitly framing my responsibility as bigger than is reasonable, but I won't be sure of that hypothesis until I see that deconstructing and reframing my sense of personal responsibility gets at my core challenges of late.
Thanks for making such content so clear and available to the world, Doc!
As a recovering alcoholic, we call “rumination”, “living in the wreckage of the past, and or, the future. What I’ve learned, and experienced is that when I’m spiritually fit, I worry a lot less. I have also practiced breathing meditation for many years, which helps to turn down the noise in my head. Especially at night.
💚
Good to know I'm also a recovering alcoholic
Thanks Mark. I would love to know what exercises you did?
The alcholic committee chattering in one's head. The itty-bitty shiddy committee. A spiritually fit mind will not attach to negative thoughts. Prison bars of the mind...
Tell me have you ever had rumination to the point where you hear a high pitched noise and you can feel pressure on the top and back of your head?
As if your head was going to Explode .
I ruminate (and rehearse) so much. I didn't realize what it was until recently and it is almost obsessive feeling. I know how destructive they are to me so I am working on it. I'm trying to stop the pattern when I start it and try to distract myself with something else- but it is not easy! I find these guides to be so helpful- thank you Dr. Marks!
I rehearse also. Thought I was the only one. I plan what I am going to say to my social worker 2 days in advance and repeat it over and over. Worst part is I say something different to my social worker and I've wasted all that time and energy.
I was taught that there is always something to be thankful for. I agree with that. Being appreciative, or counting your blessings, at the end of the day can help a person to relax. And, remembering some things are out of our control, such as controlling mean people in our lives. I have an issue with rumination. So, I can say I don't have a quick fix for that or all the answers. But, Dr. Marks and some of the commentors have good advice that help make things better. Not perfect. But better. I'm so thankful for the help I've received from Dr. Marks, Dr. Ramani, Dr. Les Carter and a few others here on RUclips. Some of their videos have been answers to my prayers. Thank you!
Oh...doctor thank you so..much from the bottom of my heart for making these soul care videos.
Frequentlly, it happens to me when I face a negative situation that bothers me, then I start ruminating that for hours or days. One of the things which is helping me is putting a relaxing backound song from RUclips and close my eyes and pay attention to that music.. No matter how many times I start ruminating, I always bring my attention back to the music without judge or piss me off because that thoughts.
Omg that's what I do I can't just move on especially when mad or feel like someone is trying to get me. My emotions are all over the top. Every one of them. I actually wear myself out bc my thoughts are always in full throttle. It's emotionally, mentally and physically draining
The only time it leaves is when your so tired of it your brain just gives up on thinking about it.
Stranger Starting to believe this. Mines usually comes from feeling anxious & that’s causes some unwanted thoughts. Slowly fading but still quite there.
Lizzie Downen,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
@@nottobecompared4099 Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without anxiety-stress sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath and body sensations for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Best part is mood swings also reduce. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more transformation enter the following on google search and listen with headphones before sleep and if possible in the morning-52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
I absolutely love how you explained everything. It was easy to understand. Its nice hearing stuff like this from a pro.
Yea
Great advice for people. I turn to prayer however it’s so useful being aware of the signs early on to know when to ❤️
The relaxation download really helped. Thank you so much!
Excellent. I’m glad to hear. Thanks!
Thank you, Dr Marks. I really like your videos.....your voice is very calming and the info is so helpful. 💞
Littlebird Jill,You are beautiful 🌹🌷🌺,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
Littlebird Jill,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
Wow. This was very eye opening. This is Me. I dwell on everything. My brain won't shut down when I try to go to sleep. Always running past experiences over and over in my head, that I obviously can do nothing about. I never knew there was a name for it.
Never heard of this but I definitely do it … I always called it overthinking! I’m not even sure how I stumbled upon your video but I’m glad I did. So informative Thank you !!
I started to heal and analyse my mind some time ago, and it has been interesting to see how different things start to tie in together. For example, I have heard of default mode network before in association to creative personalities. My problem for years was that I didn't even realise I needed some help. But it seems that self-help will be enough.
I imagine there is another me inside my head saying stupid things, someone who is very negative and gives me bad ideas. What I do is to tell this person: "shut up, stop talking crap and let me concentrate." I concentrate and feel better immediately. I don't know if it sounds crazy, but it works for me. It's like detaching my negative self from the real me who wants to be more positive.
Thanks for another great video Dr. Marks, this video suggestion from RUclips was very relevant today.
Thankyou Dr Tracy, you made it absolutely clear about intrusive thoughts and rumination, you know I am bipolar mental problems , I keep brooding for decades about unwanted talks, you helped me by explaining to be mindfulness meditation which I will follow .
I've dealt with medical anxiety since the beginning of the pandemic. It's been really difficult to manage, and can be downright terrifying at times. Of course, ruminating on hypothetical situations is one of the biggest aspects of this type of anxiety. Thank you for your advice.
UP, Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
The pandemic screwed us all up
I have to keep myself busy engaging myself in a hobby, watching a movie or reading to get my mind focused on something other than my past hurts, traumas and all that other negative crap that circulates inside my mind and overcrowding my normal thought patterns
Soooo I’ve been analyzing (deconstructing)the situation and not ruminating as well as coping with my trigger and self soothing myself and didn’t know it, I’m on the right track , thanks DOC!!
YOU ARE SOOOOO GOOD AT THIS THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR INPUT INTO THIS
This is very helpful and encouraging! Glad I watched it despite not knowing what ruminating is ☺️
I’m so glad you went ahead and watched it and hopefully now you know what rumination is. 😊 it’s funny I didn’t think about that when I put it in the title. I was just so focused on addressing the issue that I didn’t consider that there are a lot of people who’ve never heard the term I don’t know what it is.
This is an issue I need work on. One thing I heard recently that is helping me, is saying to myself: Stop permitting what I should be deleting!! It gets me back to now, and not thinking about the past.
I really like that it makes perfect sense. Thaks for sharring
@@darrellhalsey6340 If rumination affects physical health then visit a psychologist. Heal yourself with determination. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10 minutes or more. Be as still as possible. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Patience is needed. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. Positive affirmations for 5-10 minutes before sleep also gives quick relief. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Thank you so much for your professional knowledgeable content on mental health issues we ALL need it Big love❤
Thank you, Doctor. Spot on. My rumination condition has caused way increased anxiety and depression. And outlandish, self-hatred.