1. Don't find job for him. Make him take his own responsibility. 2. Don't loan him money. 3. Don't give him advice he didn't ask for. 4. Don't try to control him. Telling what he should do next isn't your job, pointing out what he's doing wrong 5. Don't make decisions for him: sit like an eagle, snatch his responsibility. Or he'll think you're enjoying doing that job.
@@adaofcharles1217 Thanks I'm trying to do that now 😓 The situation has me feeling kind of used for comfort without him putting in any effort or interest in getting to know me personally
@@harleysresinhouse299 girl one time i did that and now he's been with a coworker he met at that new job for three years now lmao. you live and you learn
It's comforting to hear your words, Margarita! I moved in with my man and 4 months in he said the dreaded words "I am not sure about you." I didn't even question it or argue or cry. I said ok and I moved out as soon as I could. It's been a few months. Sometimes I question if I should have stayed to work on things, but no... I need a man who is sure about me and steadfast for me. I love hearing other strong women say the same. Thank you!
Wow Melissa that was such a strong, confident thing to do. Most women would have stayed and tried to convince him. You took control of your own happiness and showed self worth. You made the right decision ❤
As a man I 100% agree with all these points. It really comes down to this. Don't try to solve his problems for him. This is a reversal of the natural roles. The man feels valued and masculine when he is the one solving his own problems, and solving problems for the people he loves. If he is failing to step up to that role, then having the woman fill that role will not help him in any way. However, having the woman there to support him in his efforts to solve problems is wonderful. It may sound like a fine line to walk. Don't solve his problems, but support and encourage him when he is solving problems.
thanks. My boyfriend even always tells me when he has problems, and every time I want to help him, he tells me that they are his own problems that he has to solve. Before I felt attacked by it but now I understand it all now
This was the old me! I cringe at the things I used to do for men - lending them money, finding them jobs. Ooof. Glad I’ve changed out of that way of living in relationships
That comment "when you're dragging him through life"... Gosh ladies please heed this advice. She's describing me of 17 years ago and here I am about to throw in the towel because I am exhausted of having been in my masculine all this time. Every thing she is saying is true. Go into relationships with discernment and critical thinking.
Margarita, you speak the truth! I have lived this. After almost 30 years of carrying the load, I finally divorced. Now, I have to build myself back up physically, emotionally and financially. You have mighty words of wisdom here!
Reading your comment is confirmation for me that I did the right thing. I did it for almost 2 years then something inside of me snapped and broke up with my bf. He met someone new and proposed in 8 months after I told him I could never marry him. I know I dodged a bullet.
@@simplemidwestgirl6166 sometimes my mind plays tricks on me I must say when social media makes them look happy! But he smokes weed all day and can’t hold down a job. He just orbits around the woman he’s with which can be nice in the beginning to have someone so attentive. I’m keeping your words close by to read over and over when I’m gaslighting myself!! Wishing you a beautiful new start my love. You can and will do it. You are more than capable 💜
I'm blessed to be realising that while dating a guy we shouldn't just be focused about- oh why he ain't texting me back? he's taking too long to text or he's not planning out dates & what does it mean?? But also to control our own traits like unnecessarily advising them, bossing around, treating him like a child. He's a grown up adult and not a 2 y/o kid to be taken care of. Don't give him girlfriend or wife treatment when they clearly are not willingly to become your boyfriend or husband !!!
I wish I had this advice 19 years ago! The hubby couldn't keep a job for more than a few months. Once I told him we were short $300 on our mortgage, his answer "what do you want me to do?", I lost all respect for him then and there. I asked him for a divorce in June 2019. He found a job in January 2020 and was able to keep it through the pandemic, he's been strong and thriving ever since. However, once respect is lost, it is really hard to be earned again. He lost a good woman, and the potential he's had, will be for some other woman to enjoy. It's really a shame.
Words of wisdom. Never loan money. I loaned money for a few months, I was sure he'd pay back. You couldn't convince me. He slept with a girl at work, still doesn't bother to pay it back almost 2 years on. Never loan money to somebody who hasn't shown you he can invest in you and your life together. I wanted to be a good person. I wanted to help when things were hard for him. I wanted to help when his father died. He paid me by having an affair, lying for months and the money is nowhere to be found.
I'm a man and I endorse all you said. I experienced every mistake you described and... I'm married no more. Such behaviour literally castrates a man. In my case this was more complex but it's another story. The underline one is - let a man be a man. Underline two is - expect from your man be a man,. Thank you Margarita.
I will never ever loan money to a man again who is not my husband. Totally got taken advantage of and exactly like you described, it felt like he was my child and it totally ruined our relationship.
I loaned money to my husband and now he wants me to go do the big job out there ! Dont lend money to even your husband or bf or pay bills...keep your money in saving and real man will understand.
@@Dimple3 you are so right.a real man and most importantly the right man for u will never ask u for money or even put u in a position where u have wonder should i give it to him or not
This is wonderful advice coming from a man. My current girlfriend is the first girl who truly does this and respects my responsibilities and ability to do so. What is the best is that she supports me in anything I want to do as long as it’s healthy, but won’t tell me how to do it. It also makes me feel much more comfortable going to her when I do need her help with something, and she appreciates that occasional vulnerability
Spot on. An irresponsible man is sooo off putting. Watch carefully..when a problem or challenge comes up how he handles it. If he always says idk or not my problem...then everything will fall to you
This does make more sense now. I've started dating a quietly confident but REAL man, who appreciates me and likes to do things for people. His actions match his words so it will be interesting to see what happens ...
In the sea of toxic dating advices online, It is so refreshing to find someone who gives mature advice and doesn’t view relationships as transactional. I love watching your videos for guidance 💕
Big problem i see is men will not invest in you if u make more than him. I've lived it and other guys i make more they will not invest. Women need that investment to be safe and secure.
I feel like there's another underlying problem in these relationships where the woman takes the lead--not fully respecting him because he isn't actually in his healthy masculine. Since women tend to have more flexibility, we end up being pulled towards creating the polarity by taking on more of the masculine role.
I believe you cannot emasculate a man that doesn't want to be emasculated. They ask for help and seem incapable of doing it themselves. They want a mother and then blame you for the dynamic. You try to fix it, but they refuse because it is the set up they wanted. You are on a loop if you stay.
This is a helpful reminder. Thank you! I was in a previous relationship with a guy who had always dated dominating women, so he wasn't very confident in making decisions himself. I found myself in an internal battle, wanting to give him space to step into that power, but also just wanting to get things done.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder to not take responsibility for others missteps and allow myself to receive the treatment I deserve by loving myself first. No explanations. No feeling bad for them feeling bad and making any more exceptions for being mistreated by him or others. I release the desire to control others behaviors and only focus on what I can control in my own life. Blessed be!
The example you gave is exactly the relationship dynamic of my father and mother. Until now, my father feels like my brother, like he is her first born child 😂 Blessed her soul she's been passed away 3 years ago. And never seen my father so happy like on the day my mother died 😂
Margarita this is spot on. I have been married 25 years and started out all wrong. I was a young parent and wife. I have worked way to hard in my life driving like a man. I am in the process of divorce because of everything you say in this video. My next relationship I will surely "sit like and eagle" and be In my soft woman era.
I agree so much, having lent money, made a CV, applied for weeks for jobs for him and got him two. After everything I did he said I acted like a man. He always used to tell me about his problems and came to me expecting me to fix them, unfortunately I did and in the end I was nothing but too masculine for him and I had no respect for how weak I found him.
I can't believe!😮😢 I did all this mistake but him refused all my help. I felt even more terrible now. But it's pass. Wish him a good life. I will go on in my life. Good luck for him.
It’s my day off, and I came a few hundred miles north to visit my man with whom I’m in a relationship (which, by the way, you helped me hugely within the past couple of rocky months we were experiencing) for the weekend. I’m doing work while cleaning the house and listening to you, and I want to thank you for your empowerment, support, and encouragement. Thank you x 100!!!
All This wish some one told my mom 45 yrs before today her children and she wouldn't be suffering... Thanks alot maggie your the best friend who keep us covered ❤
Margarita I love your content and it keeps me going!! But please do more videos for the women that are married and wanting to get advise on all of these exact topics .. a lot of us 😊here are not dating and alot of your videos are for these women in the dating scene… we need some advise too!!! Marriage is tough 😢
I have been doing it all for 15 years! I am exhausted and I do not know how to re start!! If I only knew these tips since the beginning of our marriage.😫
I love your channel so much! I have learned so much in just this one session ! I absolutely was miserable in my masculine energy and now have committed to never do those things again ! Hearing this sooner would have saved me years of pain!
I helped him start a business, and once he was up and running, he turned around, cheated, and left with another woman. Never letting that happen again!
You’re such an eloquent speaker, Margarita! You carry yourself with pose, and give careful advice mixed with experience. I love it! You have helped me a long way. I’ve read the book ‘Attachment’, and thanks to your general content (podcast etc.), I was able to get out of my writer’s block! You helped me gain clarity 💗
Margarita! Gurl!!! I look forward to our chats so much! I recently found your channel and have devoured every ounce of advice from these videos! You always have the wise words of a wild woman in her power! YES!!! THANK YOU for being in your feminine energy and showing us how it looks, feels, and can evolve! I am here for it!!!
The most mistake I ever made in my dating life…was asking the man what I should’ve been asked I literally offered marriage…no wonder he said no…promise to die before I ever repeat that…if he didn’t do it..he isn’t waiting for you to do it…so simple..
Again, every sentence was just on point. Was nodding all along the video 😅 You really have a nice way of talking about these issues directly but not offensively. Your own personal development journey shines through and motivates me to continue my own. Good point at the end that if you are sort of a neurotic person it will never cease to exist and you just have to learn to keep it under control. I feel in my current relationship I’ve finally found a way to lean into my feminine as my boyfriend is very proactive. ❤
💖 merci beaucoup ! You are always so fresh looking and talking, Margherita! I sent this video to my 18 yo daughter and younger sister … I m a bit like this as a single mom of 2 but … keep learning and hoping for a nice long healthy relationship ! 🎉happy 2024 😘
Lol!!! My man is also so into the decoration of our house, and I let him make decisions :) I'm glad to hear it’s okay, cuz I never thought about that before 🤔
Margarita, congratulations on welcoming your beautiful baby girl! Your videos have helped me to change my mindset and my life. Thank you so much for your work! All my Love.
I adore you Margarita! Your caracter..the way youre presenting these essential reminders for us, makes the learning process enjoyable, fun and sexy.😛 Sometimes im watching your videos literally with my mouth open or like this emoji 🤯 having the biggest realisations and understandings/clarity of my life. Although hearing the turth can hurt & sometimes it feels like a bucket of ice water or maybe even like a slap on my face, but the way youre sharing, your attitude fires me up and makes me feel like im strong and capable and i feel supported and encouraged by you & i feel like im not alone while dealing w all that im dealing w. (which is again absolutely mindblowing that youre able to make me feel that way through your videos) While im learning and leveling up with your support week by week im also having fun and enjoying your company, feels like youre my older sister ive never had :) Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, and love you lots like jelly tots! 🥰 Liza
love your vibe - all the things I've felt but can't articulate. This video has me appreciating qualities in my husband I took for granted. He is as reliable as the sun coming up. I also can relate to the masculine energy of the mother role.. going to adopt the "go with the flow" mantra and try to give space to my husband to lead... even if it's different than the way I would do it.
I won't share. I won't give out advice. I won't spend energy trying to fix someone who doesn't care. I've lived alone for 20 years. I don't plan to hate myself more and more each day and week. It will be OK.
Hello and thank you for your great channel! I started to study about feminine energy 7 years ago after my divorce. I had met a very masculine man. I pretty much ruined also that relationship and lots of money along the way until I finally believe I’ve got this 😅 I can guarantee myself that this all what she talks is so true!
I found your channel 2 months ago but I haven’t watched all your videos especially this one. And I can agree with everything you are saying my boyfriend asked me for financial support this month. I agreed and I hope I will get it back in one month or two he knows I have saved money so I could not say no. Maybe this was a mistake being so open about my finances. Also I offered him for months to help him with his cv and applying for jobs because I also did this as volunteer for refugees. After time he asked me and next month he will starts his job but I’m feeling that I’m loosing a little bit of interest. How could he not work for months he is just a student and has the time. I just turned 23 and I think I have learned my lesson. I hope I can step in my feminine energy by stop giving advise and offering help I feel like a mum. I will rewatch this video in a couple of months and update.
thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom! 🥰Got my feminine energy back on full blast! Sending you lots of love and healing, protective energy! wish u a super fast recovery! take care, I appreciate you so much!🫂🤍
Last year I was with who I think is like the perfect man for me in so many ways (important ways) but he was jobless at the beginning of our relationship due to moving countries for me. I was so mad that my attraction for him died in those 4 months he was looking for a job and I thought it was so shallow of me to have let it affect me in that negative way.... But I think now I get it, the way you have explained it. It's wild, I wish i could undo it
If your man had no job. No means. And you loved him, If there is no catalytic state he thrives with you, let him go. If he does thrive and rise. He is the man you want.
Um thank you for that humanitarian air drop of wisdom. Not only did I listen to every word you said and let in sink in but I really like that you thought it was so important to ask if we could hear the wild wind. As that was important also. It brought the energy of a wrinkle in time when Mrs. Whatsit said “wild nights are my glory.”
"But they never learned what it was that Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who, and Mrs. Which had to do, for there was a gust of wind, and they were gone." I will love that book forever & ever! 💝💕
Absolutely! I’m new to your channel and this is how I think and what I believe when observing men as prospects! ❤❤ I’m not here to be your mother or nurse! I love your personality, message and channel!
It's hard not to feel disappointed in myself for realizing that overtime I have robbed my man of some of his masculinity by always doing everything when it comes to the kids, finances, etc. I recently started throwing it in his face, and am ashamed of doing so.. That doesn't help anything and probably brings insecurities to rise.
I love how you highlight giving up control…so many women I know micro manage their fellas…then they wonder where the passion and desire went. Thank you for the reminder to stay in your own lane and let things flow. “Fed the fishes wrong” lol 😂 love your humor ❤
I just found your channel and OMG I can't stop watching your videos, I watch one by one everyday, you feel like a sister giving me all of these advices (I am a first born). I love how you put humors into every video and I love how sassy you can be, OMG thank you so much
Absolutely brilliant! Everything you said Margarita is spot on. Thank you for your wonderful, eloquently verbalised content, I look forward to each new video of yours and I have learned so much from you. XX
I needed to hear, great video ! Never consider that, because I always wonder why a guy texted me and then disappear, I bet he can see me as controlling because I am giving this sort of advice (even I don’t care what he does since I don’t know the person, this a way I talk 😬but I just can’t relax, also anxious attach style issue I have. Thank you 🙏🏽 i will definitely stop doing that.
Thank you for being so straightforward. It's truly what we need! These truths have changed my life and relationship and I'm slowly introducing my mother to these ideas as well.
What I don't get is that men seem to be expecting to be asked out on the dating apps these days. I find this baffling as I was last on them seven yrs ago and never got that vibe back then from them. Does anyone else have this problem or am I going crazy ? I have never and will never ask a man out - I'm very feminine but I just wonder why I'm picking these vibes. Is this just dating culture these days? What's wrong with these losers ?
My boyfriend just moved in with me. And this video is just spot on with my situation. I can see that I'm in a stage where ... this is how I put the dishwashing sponge, therefore it's the right way to put it. It's those little things that sort of makes me crazy for now. But I know I'll calm down at some point. Because if I dont, it will drive me and him crazy. All of this is just very new to me. I do have a controlling trait, but I also know that my boyfriend does as well. I'm sure we will figure it out. I'm hopeful! This is a very good video Margarita! Spot on for sure! ❤
Girl....as someone who has been there I say this with only love...move him right back out until he proposes. I know I sound old, I know I sound out of touch. Do not live together girl. It is worth L O S I N G him if he isn't marriage-minded.
@@Mt-kd8gl Tbh he is very family oriented, and so am i. He cooks, he is not a narcissist, he has a dog and a cat, and want kids in the future. So i think i hit the jackpot, i just hope i wont push him away.
How can you be attracted to a man who likes the idea of moving into his gf's home/apartment? Serious question. I never understood that when women tell me that. Like, that kills my libido and respect for that man. No amount of cooking skills, dumping his pets on me and wanting children "in the future" will change my view. Side note, some people say they want kids in the future but lie or omit the "but not with you " part. Yeah, he's so family oriented and wants kids, but moves in with a woman, doesn't give you an engagement ring, doesn't marry you & doesn't give you a home. He's in no place to give you or any kid a stable household nor fulfill his duties as a man. He can't even provide that for his animals. He's in his feminine soft era. He's a scrub and a possible hobosexual since I don't know the details of why he moved to your place. And no, it's not a flex for him to do the bare minimum that most adults and even 12 year olds can do like not being a narc and cook 🤷🏻♀️ you didn't hit the jackpot, he did and he can't believe his luck. Tough love is sometimes needed and I feel this was one of those times. ✌️
@@alexialira3839 tbh i suggested that he moves in with me, because my apartment is much bigger than his, i live in my grandma’s apartment and he lived in his auntie apartment, i’m 26 years old, he is 27. we still cannot afford to buy a place for us, so this is what we will do for some time now. he is taking care of his own pets, i take care of my lovely girly kitty. i feel fine with the man (for now) and thats all that matters to me.
Long time listener, first time caller... jk. but wanted to support you with a comment. Thanks for being so amazing and posting your content. I listen every day while getting ready for work. And slowly but surely incorporating all your advice.
I found myself smiling everytime you're so in the zone in telling us "don't do this and that". 😂 I super love you and your channel, Margarita! Keep making videos that empower us (esp women).❤
Listen, I’m a man. I love your shit. Inverse the relation. Your energy my dear is evoking. The world happens as you turn. Fucking love it. Get that shit. 1-0.
1. Don't find job for him. Make him take his own responsibility.
2. Don't loan him money.
3. Don't give him advice he didn't ask for.
4. Don't try to control him. Telling what he should do next isn't your job, pointing out what he's doing wrong
5. Don't make decisions for him: sit like an eagle, snatch his responsibility. Or he'll think you're enjoying doing that job.
I helped him get a job 🤦♀️ I'm fucked
@@harleysresinhouse299no problem Sis, that was your kind nature at work. But this time, take a step back and watch.
@@adaofcharles1217 Thanks I'm trying to do that now 😓 The situation has me feeling kind of used for comfort without him putting in any effort or interest in getting to know me personally
@@harleysresinhouse299 girl one time i did that and now he's been with a coworker he met at that new job for three years now lmao. you live and you learn
@@harleysresinhouse299we all did some stupid things
No worries 😂❤❤
If you're reading this I'm praying you receive the highest form of love. You deserve the best.💗🙏🏼
Amen. I connect to this . Be it!
May you be blessed too! ❤
Thank you 🌸
Thank you!!! May you be blessed as well!!
Thank you. You deserve the best too 🩷
It's comforting to hear your words, Margarita! I moved in with my man and 4 months in he said the dreaded words "I am not sure about you." I didn't even question it or argue or cry. I said ok and I moved out as soon as I could. It's been a few months. Sometimes I question if I should have stayed to work on things, but no... I need a man who is sure about me and steadfast for me. I love hearing other strong women say the same. Thank you!
"Don't stay where you are tolerated, go where you are celebrated."
I am sure you made the right decision, one that every woman should make.
Read the book "Not your mothers rules" By Ellen fein and Sherrie Schneider... literally a chapter on that exact thing. This book changed my life.
Wow Melissa that was such a strong, confident thing to do. Most women would have stayed and tried to convince him. You took control of your own happiness and showed self worth. You made the right decision ❤
You made a great decision. Good riddance
You're amazing
As a man I 100% agree with all these points. It really comes down to this. Don't try to solve his problems for him. This is a reversal of the natural roles. The man feels valued and masculine when he is the one solving his own problems, and solving problems for the people he loves. If he is failing to step up to that role, then having the woman fill that role will not help him in any way. However, having the woman there to support him in his efforts to solve problems is wonderful. It may sound like a fine line to walk. Don't solve his problems, but support and encourage him when he is solving problems.
Thank you..
I guess if they don’t know they have problems you just have to walk
@@fitwithbrittany2706or run ..
Thank you for this input!
thanks. My boyfriend even always tells me when he has problems, and every time I want to help him, he tells me that they are his own problems that he has to solve. Before I felt attacked by it but now I understand it all now
This was the old me! I cringe at the things I used to do for men - lending them money, finding them jobs. Ooof. Glad I’ve changed out of that way of living in relationships
😂😂 let's heal..we know better now and the future is bright Hun..one thing is for sure we are redeemed
@@cynthia-jo1zz haha yes! No point looking backwards, just learn and grow ❤️
Yesss onwards and upwards ladies. It can only get better from here 🙂
@@justibe_213 absolutely ❤️
Exactly the future is bright now
That comment "when you're dragging him through life"... Gosh ladies please heed this advice. She's describing me of 17 years ago and here I am about to throw in the towel because I am exhausted of having been in my masculine all this time. Every thing she is saying is true. Go into relationships with discernment and critical thinking.
It’s like Scarlet Johansson giving me advices 😂
I thought its just me 😂
I thought the same!!
It's advice, feminine energy doesn't sound 14.
Margarita, you speak the truth! I have lived this. After almost 30 years of carrying the load, I finally divorced. Now, I have to build myself back up physically, emotionally and financially. You have mighty words of wisdom here!
Reading your comment is confirmation for me that I did the right thing. I did it for almost 2 years then something inside of me snapped and broke up with my bf. He met someone new and proposed in 8 months after I told him I could never marry him. I know I dodged a bullet.
@@shaynalee so happy that you made the right choice! Wishing you a good happy life!
@@simplemidwestgirl6166 sometimes my mind plays tricks on me I must say when social media makes them look happy! But he smokes weed all day and can’t hold down a job. He just orbits around the woman he’s with which can be nice in the beginning to have someone so attentive. I’m keeping your words close by to read over and over when I’m gaslighting myself!! Wishing you a beautiful new start my love. You can and will do it. You are more than capable 💜
I'm blessed to be realising that while dating a guy we shouldn't just be focused about- oh why he ain't texting me back? he's taking too long to text or he's not planning out dates & what does it mean?? But also to control our own traits like unnecessarily advising them, bossing around, treating him like a child. He's a grown up adult and not a 2 y/o kid to be taken care of. Don't give him girlfriend or wife treatment when they clearly are not willingly to become your boyfriend or husband !!!
I wish I had this advice 19 years ago! The hubby couldn't keep a job for more than a few months. Once I told him we were short $300 on our mortgage, his answer "what do you want me to do?", I lost all respect for him then and there. I asked him for a divorce in June 2019. He found a job in January 2020 and was able to keep it through the pandemic, he's been strong and thriving ever since. However, once respect is lost, it is really hard to be earned again. He lost a good woman, and the potential he's had, will be for some other woman to enjoy. It's really a shame.
Hmm don't you think you've been harsh? He might have said that in despair, not sure if that deserved respect to be lost..
Words of wisdom. Never loan money. I loaned money for a few months, I was sure he'd pay back. You couldn't convince me. He slept with a girl at work, still doesn't bother to pay it back almost 2 years on. Never loan money to somebody who hasn't shown you he can invest in you and your life together. I wanted to be a good person. I wanted to help when things were hard for him. I wanted to help when his father died. He paid me by having an affair, lying for months and the money is nowhere to be found.
Spot on 👏 wise words.
Messed up
Sorry and you deserve better do not ever feel bad for being human and caring❤.
Preach! If he needs your money, he's not responsible.
I'm a man and I endorse all you said. I experienced every mistake you described and... I'm married no more. Such behaviour literally castrates a man. In my case this was more complex but it's another story. The underline one is - let a man be a man. Underline two is - expect from your man be a man,. Thank you Margarita.
I will never ever loan money to a man again who is not my husband. Totally got taken advantage of and exactly like you described, it felt like he was my child and it totally ruined our relationship.
I loaned money to my husband and now he wants me to go do the big job out there ! Dont lend money to even your husband or bf or pay bills...keep your money in saving and real man will understand.
I don’t recommend loaning it to your husband either
@@Dimple3 you are so right.a real man and most importantly the right man for u will never ask u for money or even put u in a position where u have wonder should i give it to him or not
This is wonderful advice coming from a man. My current girlfriend is the first girl who truly does this and respects my responsibilities and ability to do so. What is the best is that she supports me in anything I want to do as long as it’s healthy, but won’t tell me how to do it. It also makes me feel much more comfortable going to her when I do need her help with something, and she appreciates that occasional vulnerability
So marry her!
you are like the best friend nobody has, that is telling the truth straight into your face for making you feel and be better.
Spot on. An irresponsible man is sooo off putting. Watch carefully..when a problem or challenge comes up how he handles it. If he always says idk or not my problem...then everything will fall to you
This should be mandatory viewing before dating any guy. Just a great refresher of dos and don’ts
This does make more sense now. I've started dating a quietly confident but REAL man, who appreciates me and likes to do things for people. His actions match his words so it will be interesting to see what happens ...
Keep him, he is a treasure... Those men are rare to find nowadays..... ❤
Don't give him wife benefits without a ring.
In the sea of toxic dating advices online, It is so refreshing to find someone who gives mature advice and doesn’t view relationships as transactional. I love watching your videos for guidance 💕
Big problem i see is men will not invest in you if u make more than him. I've lived it and other guys i make more they will not invest. Women need that investment to be safe and secure.
This is so true.
I am really struggling with this.
“You’ll be Monica from friends with no friends around you “ 😂😂😂
I feel like there's another underlying problem in these relationships where the woman takes the lead--not fully respecting him because he isn't actually in his healthy masculine. Since women tend to have more flexibility, we end up being pulled towards creating the polarity by taking on more of the masculine role.
I believe you cannot emasculate a man that doesn't want to be emasculated. They ask for help and seem incapable of doing it themselves. They want a mother and then blame you for the dynamic. You try to fix it, but they refuse because it is the set up they wanted. You are on a loop if you stay.
I felllllt that when you said “If you want to work 7 jobs then I got you baby”. Yessss
This is a helpful reminder. Thank you! I was in a previous relationship with a guy who had always dated dominating women, so he wasn't very confident in making decisions himself. I found myself in an internal battle, wanting to give him space to step into that power, but also just wanting to get things done.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder to not take responsibility for others missteps and allow myself to receive the treatment I deserve by loving myself first. No explanations. No feeling bad for them feeling bad and making any more exceptions for being mistreated by him or others. I release the desire to control others behaviors and only focus on what I can control in my own life. Blessed be!
Your existence on this planet is a blessing margarita❤
The example you gave is exactly the relationship dynamic of my father and mother. Until now, my father feels like my brother, like he is her first born child 😂 Blessed her soul she's been passed away 3 years ago. And never seen my father so happy like on the day my mother died 😂
Margarita this is spot on. I have been married 25 years and started out all wrong. I was a young parent and wife. I have worked way to hard in my life driving like a man. I am in the process of divorce because of everything you say in this video. My next relationship I will surely "sit like and eagle" and be In my soft woman era.
Loaned it to your cat 😂😂😂 I loveee youuuu
I agree so much, having lent money, made a CV, applied for weeks for jobs for him and got him two. After everything I did he said I acted like a man. He always used to tell me about his problems and came to me expecting me to fix them, unfortunately I did and in the end I was nothing but too masculine for him and I had no respect for how weak I found him.
I can't believe!😮😢
I did all this mistake but him refused all my help.
I felt even more terrible now.
But it's pass. Wish him a good life.
I will go on in my life.
Good luck for him.
It’s my day off, and I came a few hundred miles north to visit my man with whom I’m in a relationship (which, by the way, you helped me hugely within the past couple of rocky months we were experiencing) for the weekend. I’m doing work while cleaning the house and listening to you, and I want to thank you for your empowerment, support, and encouragement. Thank you x 100!!!
You visited a boyfriend who lives miles away from you AND cleaning his place on your day off? 😬
@@alexialira3839 i felt the same😢 not good strategy doing all of that for a man
All This wish some one told my mom 45 yrs before today her children and she wouldn't be suffering... Thanks alot maggie your the best friend who keep us covered ❤
Now that you have learnt the right way your children will carry it forward.
Margarita I love your content and it keeps me going!! But please do more videos for the women that are married and wanting to get advise on all of these exact topics .. a lot of us 😊here are not dating and alot of your videos are for these women in the dating scene… we need some advise too!!! Marriage is tough 😢
I have been doing it all for 15 years! I am exhausted and I do not know how to re start!! If I only knew these tips since the beginning of our marriage.😫
He doesn't work?
Consistency - Continuity - Compatability - That's what counts, yes!
💯 correct, don’t be like me and learn these things over 20 miserable years with him
I love your channel so much! I have learned so much in just this one session ! I absolutely was miserable in my masculine energy and now have committed to never do those things again ! Hearing this sooner would have saved me years of pain!
You are an amazing advisor but also a very hilarious person too!!! you analogies are to die for ahahahaha
I helped him start a business, and once he was up and running, he turned around, cheated, and left with another woman. Never letting that happen again!
just discovered this queen, have been religiously listening to her words
You’re such an eloquent speaker, Margarita! You carry yourself with pose, and give careful advice mixed with experience. I love it! You have helped me a long way. I’ve read the book ‘Attachment’, and thanks to your general content (podcast etc.), I was able to get out of my writer’s block! You helped me gain clarity 💗
There is nothing but truth in this video! I wish I had seen it 10 years ago 😩
Margarita! Gurl!!! I look forward to our chats so much! I recently found your channel and have devoured every ounce of advice from these videos! You always have the wise words of a wild woman in her power! YES!!! THANK YOU for being in your feminine energy and showing us how it looks, feels, and can evolve! I am here for it!!!
The most mistake I ever made in my dating life…was asking the man what I should’ve been asked I literally offered marriage…no wonder he said no…promise to die before I ever repeat that…if he didn’t do it..he isn’t waiting for you to do it…so simple..
"No Rebecca, no...please let me do it!" Too funny with your somewhat serious demeanor! 😂😂
Again, every sentence was just on point. Was nodding all along the video 😅 You really have a nice way of talking about these issues directly but not offensively. Your own personal development journey shines through and motivates me to continue my own. Good point at the end that if you are sort of a neurotic person it will never cease to exist and you just have to learn to keep it under control. I feel in my current relationship I’ve finally found a way to lean into my feminine as my boyfriend is very proactive. ❤
💖 merci beaucoup ! You are always so fresh looking and talking, Margherita! I sent this video to my 18 yo daughter and younger sister … I m a bit like this as a single mom of 2 but … keep learning and hoping for a nice long healthy relationship !
🎉happy 2024 😘
GIRL I LOVE TO LISTEN TO YOU YOU'RE MOTHERING!!!
"LOVE YOU LOTS LIKE JELLY TOTS" makes me giggle like a little girl! I guess my inner child is like yaaaaas!
you literally changed my life for the better with all your videos! THANK YOU
I'm so glad!
Lol!!! My man is also so into the decoration of our house, and I let him make decisions :)
I'm glad to hear it’s okay, cuz I never thought about that before 🤔
Margarita, congratulations on welcoming your beautiful baby girl! Your videos have helped me to change my mindset and my life. Thank you so much for your work! All my Love.
I'm so f*cking glad that I found you!!! Thank you keep on going
I adore you Margarita! Your caracter..the way youre presenting these essential reminders for us, makes the learning process enjoyable, fun and sexy.😛 Sometimes im watching your videos literally with my mouth open or like this emoji 🤯 having the biggest realisations and understandings/clarity of my life. Although hearing the turth can hurt & sometimes it feels like a bucket of ice water or maybe even like a slap on my face, but the way youre sharing, your attitude fires me up and makes me feel like im strong and capable and i feel supported and encouraged by you & i feel like im not alone while dealing w all that im dealing w. (which is again absolutely mindblowing that youre able to make me feel that way through your videos) While im learning and leveling up with your support week by week im also having fun and enjoying your company, feels like youre my older sister ive never had :) Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, and love you lots like jelly tots! 🥰 Liza
love your vibe - all the things I've felt but can't articulate. This video has me appreciating qualities in my husband I took for granted. He is as reliable as the sun coming up. I also can relate to the masculine energy of the mother role.. going to adopt the "go with the flow" mantra and try to give space to my husband to lead... even if it's different than the way I would do it.
I wish I could share this with so many others who need to hear this information and who have wrecked relationships because of personal failures.
I won't share. I won't give out advice. I won't spend energy trying to fix someone who doesn't care. I've lived alone for 20 years. I don't plan to hate myself more and more each day and week. It will be OK.
Hello and thank you for your great channel! I started to study about feminine energy 7 years ago after my divorce. I had met a very masculine man. I pretty much ruined also that relationship and lots of money along the way until I finally believe I’ve got this 😅 I can guarantee myself that this all what she talks is so true!
You speak such a beautiful English! Diction, chosing the words, jokes. And all of this is a great constant. Right to the point ❤ Thank you!
I found your channel 2 months ago but I haven’t watched all your videos especially this one. And I can agree with everything you are saying my boyfriend asked me for financial support this month. I agreed and I hope I will get it back in one month or two he knows I have saved money so I could not say no. Maybe this was a mistake being so open about my finances. Also I offered him for months to help him with his cv and applying for jobs because I also did this as volunteer for refugees. After time he asked me and next month he will starts his job but I’m feeling that I’m loosing a little bit of interest. How could he not work for months he is just a student and has the time. I just turned 23 and I think I have learned my lesson. I hope I can step in my feminine energy by stop giving advise and offering help I feel like a mum. I will rewatch this video in a couple of months and update.
GREAT VIDEO ❤ THANKS for bringing this so needed awareness to the young generation that are taking all this very LIGHTLY!
Thank you. These are great boundaries to place on ourselves as women. They are like avoiding land mines that we ourselves put in place 🙌
thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom! 🥰Got my feminine energy back on full blast! Sending you lots of love and healing, protective energy! wish u a super fast recovery! take care, I appreciate you so much!🫂🤍
Last year I was with who I think is like the perfect man for me in so many ways (important ways) but he was jobless at the beginning of our relationship due to moving countries for me. I was so mad that my attraction for him died in those 4 months he was looking for a job and I thought it was so shallow of me to have let it affect me in that negative way.... But I think now I get it, the way you have explained it. It's wild, I wish i could undo it
If your man had no job.
No means.
And you loved him,
If there is no catalytic state he thrives with you, let him go.
If he does thrive and rise.
He is the man you want.
Everytime you rock a shirt you look so good. Would love a video on how you style/pick shirts.
Um thank you for that humanitarian air drop of wisdom. Not only did I listen to every word you said and let in sink in but I really like that you thought it was so important to ask if we could hear the wild wind. As that was important also. It brought the energy of a wrinkle in time when Mrs. Whatsit said “wild nights are my glory.”
"But they never learned what it was that Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who, and Mrs. Which had to do, for there was a gust of wind, and they were gone." I will love that book forever & ever! 💝💕
Well, that explains it. I'm just so tired. Thank you Margarita ❤
Appreciate you too love..... ❤
Margarita is so wise. She rocks my world.
I wish I have margarita before I get married!
I listen to your videos like that was Bible of my life!
1:34 I felt very flattered lol
Absolutely! I’m new to your channel and this is how I think and what I believe when observing men as prospects! ❤❤ I’m not here to be your mother or nurse! I love your personality, message and channel!
Absolutely love the fire truck example
Before starting a relationship, everybody should watch it🙂
advice and decision making.. spot on. very easy to say though, but difficult to put into practice, as you may know.. ❤
This message is not really for me, but maybe it can benefit everyone in some way. I think there is wisdom in your words that can help people.
I guess the message she delivers is somehow for everyone ☺️ its amazing that a lot of us do the work and reflect on our behaviors 🥰
Thank you so much Margarita! Your wisdom is so helpful to me. ❤
I listen to the podcast and also watch it here because I need to hear it twice!
It's hard not to feel disappointed in myself for realizing that overtime I have robbed my man of some of his masculinity by always doing everything when it comes to the kids, finances, etc. I recently started throwing it in his face, and am ashamed of doing so.. That doesn't help anything and probably brings insecurities to rise.
I love how you highlight giving up control…so many women I know micro manage their fellas…then they wonder where the passion and desire went. Thank you for the reminder to stay in your own lane and let things flow. “Fed the fishes wrong” lol 😂 love your humor ❤
I just found your channel and OMG I can't stop watching your videos, I watch one by one everyday, you feel like a sister giving me all of these advices (I am a first born). I love how you put humors into every video and I love how sassy you can be, OMG thank you so much
Absolutely brilliant! Everything you said Margarita is spot on. Thank you for your wonderful, eloquently verbalised content, I look forward to each new video of yours and I have learned so much from you. XX
You are so incredibly insightful. I wish I had heard something like this in my twenties
🙏🏾🫶🏽Thank you for evaluating these points. I'm learning how to brace myself with these masculine traits that are off. 🧡🧡❤️❤️
I needed to hear, great video ! Never consider that, because I always wonder why a guy texted me and then disappear, I bet he can see me as controlling because I am giving this sort of advice (even I don’t care what he does since I don’t know the person, this a way I talk 😬but I just can’t relax, also anxious attach style issue I have. Thank you 🙏🏽 i will definitely stop doing that.
Thank you for being so straightforward. It's truly what we need! These truths have changed my life and relationship and I'm slowly introducing my mother to these ideas as well.
Why do men think that just because we are willing to do something that we enjoy doing it?? Is it because they don't do anything they don't enjoy?
Goodness 🤔... yes! Obviously 😂
What I don't get is that men seem to be expecting to be asked out on the dating apps these days. I find this baffling as I was last on them seven yrs ago and never got that vibe back then from them. Does anyone else have this problem or am I going crazy ? I have never and will never ask a man out - I'm very feminine but I just wonder why I'm picking these vibes. Is this just dating culture these days? What's wrong with these losers ?
My boyfriend just moved in with me. And this video is just spot on with my situation. I can see that I'm in a stage where ... this is how I put the dishwashing sponge, therefore it's the right way to put it. It's those little things that sort of makes me crazy for now. But I know I'll calm down at some point. Because if I dont, it will drive me and him crazy. All of this is just very new to me.
I do have a controlling trait, but I also know that my boyfriend does as well. I'm sure we will figure it out. I'm hopeful!
This is a very good video Margarita! Spot on for sure! ❤
Girl....as someone who has been there I say this with only love...move him right back out until he proposes. I know I sound old, I know I sound out of touch. Do not live together girl. It is worth L O S I N G him if he isn't marriage-minded.
@@Mt-kd8gl Tbh he is very family oriented, and so am i. He cooks, he is not a narcissist, he has a dog and a cat, and want kids in the future. So i think i hit the jackpot, i just hope i wont push him away.
@@Mt-kd8gli do support your opinion
How can you be attracted to a man who likes the idea of moving into his gf's home/apartment? Serious question. I never understood that when women tell me that.
Like, that kills my libido and respect for that man. No amount of cooking skills, dumping his pets on me and wanting children "in the future" will change my view. Side note, some people say they want kids in the future but lie or omit the "but not with you " part.
Yeah, he's so family oriented and wants kids, but moves in with a woman, doesn't give you an engagement ring, doesn't marry you & doesn't give you a home. He's in no place to give you or any kid a stable household nor fulfill his duties as a man. He can't even provide that for his animals. He's in his feminine soft era.
He's a scrub and a possible hobosexual since I don't know the details of why he moved to your place.
And no, it's not a flex for him to do the bare minimum that most adults and even 12 year olds can do like not being a narc and cook 🤷🏻♀️ you didn't hit the jackpot, he did and he can't believe his luck.
Tough love is sometimes needed and I feel this was one of those times. ✌️
@@alexialira3839 tbh i suggested that he moves in with me, because my apartment is much bigger than his, i live in my grandma’s apartment and he lived in his auntie apartment, i’m 26 years old, he is 27. we still cannot afford to buy a place for us, so this is what we will do for some time now.
he is taking care of his own pets, i take care of my lovely girly kitty.
i feel fine with the man (for now) and thats all that matters to me.
Long time listener, first time caller... jk. but wanted to support you with a comment. Thanks for being so amazing and posting your content. I listen every day while getting ready for work. And slowly but surely incorporating all your advice.
How funny, I went to the vet today and my cat actually does need a survey soon. So my 5 months boyfriend already offered me to lent me the money 🥰
a real man wants to be your HERO
I found myself smiling everytime you're so in the zone in telling us "don't do this and that". 😂 I super love you and your channel, Margarita! Keep making videos that empower us (esp women).❤
Very valuable and clearly stated points, complete with very relatable analogies and supporting examples - thanks again for being you!! 😊❤
I have come to this realisation a while back but to hear it so well put really helps consolidate it. Thank you.
i heard the wind !! ☺
Love the advice in this video.
I wish I had been taught these things growing up
Listen, I’m a man.
I love your shit.
Inverse the relation.
Your energy my dear is evoking.
The world happens as you turn.
Fucking love it.
Get that shit.
1-0.
Thank you so much for this. You are absolutely right. Sending love and hopes for an easy labour xxx