Oh. No... His betraying helped to do sooo work with my self. His betraying helped me see his true self its just a matter of time him to realize him self...and guess what...now its not my problem 🤷. Have fun ex and never come back .
I am limerent, I would not trade. I appreciate that you touched on the fact that you do not understand what is happening in situation that limerence is occurring. I like that you label it as not real love and then state that mature love is real. "Beer, the ol lady and TV". Again no trades
When I found out my husband was having an affair it was very quickly after he started because he started lying and coming home late ...which he never did so it was easy....but he said he was in love and left.....but 5 months later he came back crying because she also had another man plus him so he left her.
That’s how my husband felt about me for years and then it became I deep love for me, why wouldn’t that happen to my husband and his affair partner. He’s been with her since 2018 then moved in with her in July 2021.
This is possibly the hardest thing to deal with for me. She gave him limerence and any other woman could as well but I can't because that can only happen in new relationships. Sure we've got that nice comfortable "mature" love that wasn't enough to keep him interested in the first place. It's super depressing. Also is the title wrong? The content was directed at the unfaithful but the title suggests it's for the BS.
Yeap limerence is a kind of love and I am sad that it takes too long before real damaged is done and legal separation occurss. Nevertheless after all forgiveness and peace can be found just not together
Can someone who is in limerence choose to stay with their spouse? Does the limerence always have to fade before they see what they are losing and realizing that they do love, have a deep love for the spouse?
It's easy. He was a narcissist. Used my wife and dumped her and she figured it out only after she destroyed her family. The weak mind of a wife against a hard core Narc.
So how long does “limerance stage” last? It seemed like my husband progressed into the uncontrolled area. He could not STOP calling her, and his fantasy went on for 11 years.
I don't care what it is,limerence,bad choice,puppy love. My cheating wife can have the person she left me for . She can live with her bad choice's. Not me !!!!!
Limerance? Yes, this is how it started. But 11 years later, still hiding phone contact and an actual visit back to see his mistress? Sorry but that’s full blown love, Wayne
Kind of the same for my wife, I guess. The relationship i found out has been going on for more than a year. That's why I can't forgive but cannot judge either. You can't help falling in love. It's just a shame they decided not to be honest, speak and allow everyone including me to move on.
You can't. No one can. The limerant has to acknowledge it's an illusion and that he or she is addicted. They must be willing to recover. Or they'll just stay in Never Never Land forever.
All you can do is accept without attachment(to see what limerance is, an illusion of the mind) I had limerance for someone at the beginning of 2023. It took me around 15 days to overcome it. No contact, non attachment along with complete acceptance of what is happening within me with compassion and without judgement and proper self care.
I still don’t fully understand the time frames. If someone is in an affair for years (5,19,15,20 years!) how is that not love now? And, more importantly, why wouldn’t you choose the exhilaration of that partnership if not only does it feel amazing but they are also completely supportive/loving/generous/kind/compatible? At what point is “the addiction” better than a “‘mature” (lackluster) marriage?
I watched it, but I can't be sure I understood it. Did I hear the explanation that every relationship starts out with limerence and evolves in stages into a long-lasting relationship? If that is the case, then he should have stayed with her longer and might have had a lifelong, wonderful relationship with her? I guess I will have to re-listen. As always, thank you for this wonderful Channel.
The limerent object is usually someone you can't be with. He/she can be married so it's a waste of your energy. And the more obstacles between you two, the stronger will be the limerence.
So many of us betrayed wish they thought of us this way.
Oh. No... His betraying helped to do sooo work with my self. His betraying helped me see his true self its just a matter of time him to realize him self...and guess what...now its not my problem 🤷. Have fun ex and never come back .
Problem we have is that we are loyal to.people that abhor loyalty.
I am limerent, I would not trade. I appreciate that you touched on the fact that you do not understand what is happening in situation that limerence is occurring. I like that you label it as not real love and then state that mature love is real. "Beer, the ol lady and TV". Again no trades
When I found out my husband was having an affair it was very quickly after he started because he started lying and coming home late ...which he never did so it was easy....but he said he was in love and left.....but 5 months later he came back crying because she also had another man plus him so he left her.
Same story here. So pathetic
Needed this video. Struggling to break limerence. Desperately. I need to remember it isn’t actual love.
The fact that you recognize that is amazing... :( I am so sorry you are addicted :( . I hope your spouse is being understanding ❤
I hope that the spouse has support.
That’s how my husband felt about me for years and then it became I deep love for me, why wouldn’t that happen to my husband and his affair partner. He’s been with her since 2018 then moved in with her in July 2021.
This is possibly the hardest thing to deal with for me. She gave him limerence and any other woman could as well but I can't because that can only happen in new relationships. Sure we've got that nice comfortable "mature" love that wasn't enough to keep him interested in the first place. It's super depressing. Also is the title wrong? The content was directed at the unfaithful but the title suggests it's for the BS.
Wayne what amazing guidance and advice. Thank you so much
Yeap limerence is a kind of love and I am sad that it takes too long before real damaged is done and legal separation occurss. Nevertheless after all forgiveness and peace can be found just not together
@wayne baker How do i sign up for this? Is there a course that helps with those 3 steps to get out of limerence?? I need help!
If your spouse is having an affair, have the same compassion you would as if they had an addiction to alcohol.
It's NOT alcohol. The partner agreed to fidelity so stop.
That’s what “caused” the whole situation was alchahol
Can someone who is in limerence choose to stay with their spouse? Does the limerence always have to fade before they see what they are losing and realizing that they do love, have a deep love for the spouse?
It's easy. He was a narcissist. Used my wife and dumped her and she figured it out only after she destroyed her family. The weak mind of a wife against a hard core Narc.
So how long does “limerance stage” last? It seemed like my husband progressed into the uncontrolled area. He could not STOP calling her, and his fantasy went on for 11 years.
Guys are usually in limerance(and midlife crises) for longer. Usually 5-10 years. Women are usually 3-5 years. I am so sorry 😞 😢 💔
I don't care what it is,limerence,bad choice,puppy love. My cheating wife can have the person she left me for . She can live with her bad choice's. Not me !!!!!
Limerance? Yes, this is how it started. But 11 years later, still hiding phone contact and an actual visit back to see his mistress? Sorry but that’s full blown love, Wayne
A midlife crises especially for a man can last that long. If its an affair its still limerance... though a little longer than normal.
Kind of the same for my wife, I guess. The relationship i found out has been going on for more than a year. That's why I can't forgive but cannot judge either. You can't help falling in love. It's just a shame they decided not to be honest, speak and allow everyone including me to move on.
People can fall in limerence..and not act it.....I am sure many have resisted.
@@chadtoscano9168❤
Thank you!! Thank you!!!
How do I compete with chemicals, or a fantasy?
You can't. No one can. The limerant has to acknowledge it's an illusion and that he or she is addicted. They must be willing to recover. Or they'll just stay in Never Never Land forever.
@@bobleglob162 well said Bob. Unfortunately my wife (so to be ex) refuses to acknowledge or do any recovery work.
You can’t compete!! 🤷🏻♀️
All you can do is accept without attachment(to see what limerance is, an illusion of the mind) I had limerance for someone at the beginning of 2023. It took me around 15 days to overcome it. No contact, non attachment along with complete acceptance of what is happening within me with compassion and without judgement and proper self care.
I still don’t fully understand the time frames. If someone is in an affair for years (5,19,15,20 years!) how is that not love now?
And, more importantly, why wouldn’t you choose the exhilaration of that partnership if not only does it feel amazing but they are also completely supportive/loving/generous/kind/compatible?
At what point is “the addiction” better than a “‘mature” (lackluster) marriage?
any tips on sticking with NC?
Thank you.
I watched it, but I can't be sure I understood it. Did I hear the explanation that every relationship starts out with limerence and evolves in stages into a long-lasting relationship? If that is the case, then he should have stayed with her longer and might have had a lifelong, wonderful relationship with her? I guess I will have to re-listen. As always, thank you for this wonderful Channel.
The limerent object is usually someone you can't be with. He/she can be married so it's a waste of your energy. And the more obstacles between you two, the stronger will be the limerence.
I was never limerant with my wife. We've been together 30 years. I am now limerant with someone outside my marriage and trying to break free from it.
@@bobleglob162 maybe u forget now that u met the new woman. U can't remember loving your wife