I've come to realize the hardest part isn't when you're actually in the relationship with the narcissist, as painful as it was. The hardest was letting go of what no longer serves you, and coming to terms that no one is going to heal you, but YOU!! A great quote I reposted which couldn't be more true is "Rock bottom will teach you more than mountain tops ever will." 💯❣
I respect that. For me, the hardest part was coming to the realization of who certain people in my life actually were. The hardest part was coming to the realization in the reality that there are sadistic people in this world don’t just wanna take things from you in order for them to survive, they truly do want to hurt you, or anyone they can get their hands on so that they can feel powerful in a moment. It doesn’t matter if it’s a spouse or child, sometimes even a complete stranger but usually they try and collect those first by gift giving with strings, and mirroring. They will do their best to try and trample on other peoples bodies and shrink them down, in order for themselves to feel big even for a minute. With that having been said. Being an imperfect person myself, effect that was often Weaponized to blame me for everything I did and didn’t do as well as everything. A narcissistic person also did and didn’t do, it excites me that despite this fact, other people are still doing their very best to be good and do good in this life and that I have the opportunity to do that and to bring that into this world. I have the opportunity to do that with my sons and with my wife and with my siblings they want to hear it at the end of the day you can’t control anybody else, but, I’m really excited about the opportunity to try and leave this world better than how I found it and to learn everything I can before I die. But yeah, it was like I couldn’t see the world the same anymore after being brought to this truth that these people exist. A short while, it was hard not to get jaded. If you’re not careful, you’ll literally be sleeping with the enemy that secretly is trying to destroy you behind your back and insidiously step-by-step to your face, pleasure of doing so. That’s just the reality of this world. That’s the reality of people. But so is other people who’ve been through the fire and flames and came out of the other side cauterized and reinforced with a metal alloy if you will. Both things are true, such as often the case in this life of nearly infinite simultaneous truths.
Once you are awakened to narcs you'll never allow them to control you again and you'll protect yourself from being in the same situation again... Fantastic advice thank you
@@edwardspriggs5076 Yes! It was all the Love Bombing that I fell for. I always told my ex he got an A in courtship, not knowing it would soon lead to an F- in devaluing and then the discard.
It's the most difficult to treat with therapy. Most therapists say it's basically pointless as they end up just mirroring and telling them what they want to hear. They also don't have a core personality so fixing that is almost impossible.
100%. My ex lasted about 4-5 years with the replacement. About the same timeframe as me. I figured out it was a mess after about 6months ..yet stayed and was confused for too long. Never again
He knew exactly what he was doing.. and once I figured it out, it was hard to come to terms with the fact that I had fallen for all of the lies and allowed myself to be treated so poorly. God help his new supply..
I get it but my ex's new supply (they were numerous) gets what she deserves. She screwed her married boss, married with 3 children. She didn't care, so neither do I. You reap what you sow.
can you tell me why my ex narc keeps in touch with me like were best friends? He tells me abt his new supply and i share my experiences. He acts jealous when i share though. Is he truly my friend or is he manipulating me for something. Were not romantic at all!!
My ex narcissist seemed to need me to need him. It was never really about a relationship, but rather his needing someone to stroke his ego, plus having someone he could bully at the same time.
It has been said that narcissists seek for people to get attached to them. But they never attach to anyone. I found that a useful and sobering thought.
Sam Vaknin did a talk once about how many analogies in the Tora were about narcs and psychos, etc. I need to find that one again, for future reference. (My mother's father, grandfather and great grandfather were Episcopal bishops. And both sides of the family were/ are full of narcissists. Wish this info was out in the open 35ish years ago when I was reading my covert narc mother's 4- 600 level 'psych' books, when she was getting her Masters degree, in mind manipulation! (And my father, his second wife, my mom's second relationship and also my younger brother, etc. also seem to ALL be a 3- 5/6 on the NPD spectrum?!) Now she just "play acts: forgetful, deaf and dumb," at 82! And I concur: Going little to no contact" is the ONLY logical, solution... because these people NEVER grow, nor CHANGE! (So who the heck needs the "escape- goating," abuse!?)
Omg I paid for so much crap. He would call me for uber rides. I was an idiot and fell for it all. Dinners, concerts, movies, cologne clothes his phone bill. I was so broke with that clown. I was a yes person not anymore. I'm so happy I made it out. Thank you for these videos.
Don't be down on yourself. I did the same thing. I spent $60K on her (in a year) and was getting ready to get her a $30k Engagement ring. She went through my Bible (i write down things i want to remember and date them) She went through my Office - She went through some old Cell phones I had in a drawer - She went through my Laptop - She went through old photo albums of past girlfriends - She had background checks done on me TWICE !!! She even bullshitted my Family members with her lies. She wanted to meet all my friends. We are sooooo much better off without them.
@@risky1 omg I'm glad you didn't get tgat ring. Jesus I'm just happy we made it out and we can educate ourselves with these videos of awareness. Sending positive vibes.
@@empathicwarriorlissy3716 oh you and me both. Andrew is sooo right, you become stronger and more educated with these types of people. I know I have. My next relationship will be much different with some hard boundaries. I'm not going to navigate that gauntlet again. Be humble and don't stumble all the best
My Bestee,s x narc husband is on his 4th wife,he's still married, she was # 1. .HAD the audacity to ask her to go to the beautiful Costa Rica with him,,her birthplace, at a church service.with other family members present.asking her across other people .been divorced from him at least 36 years. She was mortified...
Every morning when I wake up I tell myself that I am the priority. I come first, second and third! Thanks so much Andrew for all that you do. You are truly a Blessing!
He told me that the new supply treats him better than I ever could, I laughed and said I’m happy for you! I know nothing can make him happy he will pretend to be happy for 4-8 weeks and then boom he will find a reason to get rid of her and then bring in new supply I’m just happy I’m free
Didn’t take me years,it took about 9 months collectively cause I figured it out in about 3 months but because I knew the person for over 30 years I kept trying.been in no contact for 2 years now. It doesn’t hurt anymore but for some reason I’ve thought about her everyday since the breakup, that seems to be the hardest part,I’ve never experienced this part before.there’s no craving to go back or to want her it’s just that she’s been on mind. I guess this is what happens when you don’t get closure. It’s not as bad as it was so I figure it’s just going to take time for that part to disappear.
Mine said that his "biggest insecurity was all of his debt"... He spent money on himself constantly, $200 shoes, even hired a housekeeper to clean his one bedroom apartment. However, anytime we went somewhere, he was "so broke". 🙄
@@trishlynn3424 you have no idea. I feel so foolish but he was always so adamant about being broke, even cried! In retrospect, I can name so many times he turned around and spent money frivolously. He spent $100 on a seat cushion (he says he has a bad back 🙄) after telling a friend he needed to borrow $300. He didn't even say "borrow"- just that he needed it, demanded it. How broke are you really if you are buying seat cushions right after? AND he just bought a brand new car!
So true. The days, weeks of silent treatment. Ignoring your messages. No birthday or christmas gifts. Contempt. Texting other supply in your presence, making you feel you are not good enough. No compliments. Discard then reel you back in and continue the pattern. Heart breaking
It took me TWO TIMES to figure out WTF was going on, but now I know. And I have to say that between Andrew and a ton of research, I am better ....stronger.....and don't take no chit offa nobody now.
😮 I'm figuring the supply he thought was his new shiny object ain't so shiny because he's hovering weekly "checking on me" after discarding me almost 5 months ago. That man us a total fool!
They always provide hints of who they were, who they are and who they will be after they are done with you. It’s just we weren’t sensitive enough to listen and/or react.
YES,YES,YES,LISTEN WHEN PEOPLE SPEAK...YOU'D BE SURPRISED WHAT YOU ACTUALLY HEAR...FROM FRIENDS,FRENEMIES FAMILY,MOM,DAD,LOVERS,HUSBANDS WIVES..CO WORKERS. LISTEN CLOSELY....RED FLAGS POPPING OFF PAY ATTENTION..
@@luisolvera5574 we can’t believe our eyes and ears…! But, now I know better. It truly woke me up. I previously had no idea, i was in a bit of a naïve bubble til age 55! and I always wanted to blame myself for odd relationship issues. Now I know and those people stay clear. Or I keep at arms length
ive witnessed first hand, 2x of the mask completely falling off. talk about ugly. it takes something major, all is lost, and they know you are done with them, to see it completely fall off. having no knowledge of what a narc really was, i totally encouraged ex gf while she was having her narc break down with, 'there it is', thats the real you coming out. 'look how stupid you look', bla bla bla insults, just to stoke her fire of ignorance. she deserved everything i gave her, and then some. when finished, i told her she had 5min to pack her sh it up, and get out of my house for the final encore.
I’m free from the “ dead Narc” now,,, I call him this because he died almost 5 years ago of his own horrible self abuse/ smoking/ drinking/ evil plans/ evil deeds,,, but others have continuously popped up like in a video game,,, I’ve retreated to myself w/ my 10 little animals, almost no humans in my life. I know it changed me, forever, what he did,, I was a bright light, now, just a cowering old broken woman,, I have good days, but I just cannot trust anyone. I pray there would be a support group for people like me,,,,Andrew, you’ve been My therapy and my healing path,,, I swear, if I had not found your channel??? I was sinking. So I really thank you Andrew. ❤❤❤❤❤
No, you are still a bright light! And you will once again shine, only brighter! You are here, following your heart, taking time out, loving your critter family (my furry family--and Andrew--saves me every day). You are not broken, just trying to understand how people we love can treat us so poorly. I'm on a similar path as you and I believe that once we process all of this new information we will love ourselves more and not tolerate BS because we now recognize the truth. We learn how to save our love for those who don't mean us harm. If you like to read, you might like "Self Compassion" by Kristin Neff. I'm also reading "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker to help me sort out childhood abuse. Ugh. Don't give up, I bet I'm older than you. 🤗🤗🤗
I can relate to this. Yes, changed me forever and not in a good way. I miss who I used to be: carefree and trusting; always believing the best in others.
So, no surprise: we are most vulnerable during a transition time in our life. Boy! That knowledge is empowering! Love these vids and this great understanding.
I have found that if they find another Narcissist then they meet their match. It is not love at all, but they don't know any better. The best part is as long as they get old together the rest of us are clear, at least of those 2 anyway. 2 down 4 billion left to go.
I'm praying for the new supply because some people don't make it out alive or with their sanity still intact. I'm glad I did the best decision I ever made! Now I'm thriving and smiling dropped a few pounds due to gaining so much weight from being with him. Thank You, GOD, for giving me the strength to let go and never look back. ❤
I heard them called "Hell's Gatekeepers" the other day and there couldn't be a more appropriate title for them. And you're 100% correct...they KNOW what they're doing because its all they know how to do!
He was on his iPhone the entire time he was at my friend's mother's funeral. The most disrespectful thing I have ever seen. Let's guess why? He couldn't get over the fact that my friend's dead mother was the center of attention. That is so sick!!! What a bad, bad man. All I can do is pray for him for me and for humanity.
His "New" supply was 7 mos. Preg when our divorce was final. Where was he going? two NEW kids and 8 years later he finally married her (after putting OUR 3 kids through embarrassment/neglect) but now they are too miserable and broke to get divorced. Sympathy is under "S" in the dictionary. He's her problem, now, when she didn't get to be ME...the wife with the house, kids, good schools, etc., and she works full time. I'm certain she's cheating on him, and he's too strapped to survive another divorce. Oh well. All she has now is the narcissist that I escaped from. The sad thing is the children suffer at the end of the day.
Hi, because you have observed new supply v closely I want to ask some questions which I m struggling to get answers. My ex husband got married thrice . I was the second one n I was never aware about his first marriage. After my divorce he married another women in just 1 month, he is still with that women n they have 1kid. Though he doesn't have any child from previous two marriages. Recently I have seen his new wife was yelling some women online who is my ex's colleague , so I believe she already knows his cheating s. Still I have questions how they are still together? How come she is portraying a happy marriage picture to everyone? Does a child can make this marriage work?
@@AA-nx2jz no he will damage all of them and keep walking. They are incapable of changing. I speak from experience. They only care about their own ‘public image’ and to Hell with everyone who they call partner or offspring. They are sick and think everyone who figures them out are the crazy ones. Avoid, stay centered, and protect yourself and your children. Period.
Well unfortunately the new supply is in for a big wake up call. But we know now that it is a badly wrapped gift. They will learn that eventually as we did. Great video Andrew thank you. Have a great evening and night. Big virtual hug 🫂😊🙌💜❤️
The new supply is finding out and she has involved the law. He was put out of his new wife's house. She also has an order of protection against him. She struck "Fool's Gold", but she is learning fast. He thought he had it made with her. Reality is hitting him now. Thank GOD I am 🆓 from him. Over and OUT ✅💯. Stay in PEACE ✌🏽🕊️.
I know what police involvement is all about. He called 911 (phoney call) and uttered a death threat. I had no idea until the police tried to kick in my front door. He left the scene after he made the call. Then comes back like the victim. Made an ass of himself. He thinks I charged him. He won't return.
@@sharoneh8929 I am truly getting there. When people make me laugh, I actually laugh. That was my favorite thing to do in life. I have a great sense of humor, and that was one thing I didn't let shine. I tried though. One foot in front of the other. We need the support of others who've been there, so thank you for that! ✌️ 😎 ☮️ 🕊 ❤️
3 weeks out, and the memories come flooding back. More red flags than a chinese day parade, and i ignored them all. Just figuring out why is a puzzle. God bless you Andrew
I chose to ignore the red flags because I wasn’t that invested in the “relationship”, until I was. I didn’t really like this person when we first met so red flags meant nothing to me. I couldn’t care less what he did or didn’t do because I wasn’t interested. I remember driving away that first day with an ick feeling and thinking “not in this lifetime”. He pursued heavily for many months (crossing boundaries) and through therapy I have learned how heavily I was manipulated. As soon as I started to have feelings, it was too late; I was too far in. The red flags still kept showing up, the only difference was that I was now making excuses for him. Almost 1 - 1/2 years post breakup and I’m still trying to make sense of it all. I have so many regrets…
Spot on Andrew. Everything you say hits the mark. When you get trapped in a relationship with the narcissist, you get trapped in hell on earth. Thank you 🙏 for your daily help and assistance. God bless you ❤
Years ago my then husband just vanished (the brutal discard) and divorced me to marry the new supply. I found out much later that he has had kids with at least five different women while he's been married to her. Yes sir! She fucxed around and found out 😂 Don't envy the new supply. They did you a favor. 🎉
Age 56, went no contact, that narcissist woman took my soul slowly over time. I never had a relationship that took so much work to go absolutely no where but in circles. Never appeased, my efforts always fell short no matter how hard I tried, things were wrong, things were not to her liking, people had hatred put on them for no reason, all by her shallow existence. The way she treats her teenagers was just one red flag I ignored. My healing journey has begun, This summer is about me and no one else! Not isolating, I need to be around happy people, not leaching parasites!
I have been here..five wasted years.i made the decision this year to get out of the narcissitic relationship that almost killed me.i was so drained physically,emotionally,financially,spiritually.I have embarked on my healing journey trusting God for total emotional restoration.sometimes i dont even understand how i feel.Only God can heal anyone going through this
The new supply will find out that they stepped into The Twilight Zone & have to experience feelings of a nightmare until they wake up or are discarded by the narc. Be Well, Be Wise 🌈🎀😘
Yes! I heard from the now ex-Narc's mother (who still adores me) that his new wife 'hates' me. Yup. Her words. I suspect it's that way because when I left him, he found her, and now SHE has to suffer life with the man!
All narcissists in my life were complaining starting with my mother. And they can not give compliments- again starting with my mother and since there was no father I was used to not receiving compliments so my ex got away with it. This is a good way to recognize them.
"..bees & creatures here in the Carolina woods.." 🙂🤭 This video is a great reminder of all the nonsense that we all do not want to experience again. Great video Andrew . Thank you for what you do 🙌. Love your background 🌿 God bless ☀️
Thank you! My ex-wife got with a real 'doormat' of a guy. When I look back, all her ex's where very subservient personalities. I wasn't like that, but I have empathy and loving. That's how they work - they push those buttons and use those 'weaknesses' of your character. It's ironic isn't it? My ex was engaged to this guy, eventually they broke up, good on him. He was a decent guy, just down on himself. God bless you all and I wish you well in your recovery x
My friend (acquaintance) who’s a narcissist..has been involved with people who love to be told what to do and how to run their lives to be Bullied and controlled. Those people are out there. Sickening to watch.
People,do your inner work(lot of psychotherapy)to raise your vibration not to attract Narcs….complaining doesn help…it maintains one in the same victim status… It s specialised psychotherapy that makes the difference🙂
Not for everyone but it is a good avenue for some...one of the problems is there aren't many really decent shrinks with narc treatments and they usually treat it as cptsd which yes it is but there's other work which needs to be done prior... like refocusing the locus of control, silencing inner voices (interjects) ...it's rough out there..whatever works for you God bless you
THE SCORPION 🦂AND THE FROG 🐸 A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!” “Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you, I’d certainly drown myself.” “That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.” “I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”
i feel so sorry for my narcissists next victim there in for a hell of a ride but i hope my narcissist gets her just deserts and gets worked out early nobody deserves this kind of abuse like me and everyone else watching this channel has suffered funny thing is i wont even be jealous for my replacement just pity thank you andrew my new life being single is amazing am so happy
Dear Andrew I am now inadvertently witness to the grooming and lovebombing of my narc husbands new supply just as he discarded me. Thanks to you I know have the knowledge of what this is as I can see why he chose her and what he’s doing. Sick twisted and I add I add evil is absolutely right because he knows exactly what he’s doing ❤🙏
It doesn't matter if the new supply is better or worse, remember however green that grass the toxicity your ex feeds will kill everything and leave a barren land. Now they are gone you will bloom once again. I am 1 month in to ending 14 years of misery, but i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you Andrew for your daily support, it is always good to hear you however dark the day.
That was me....looking at the package ...luckily for me, I am not a push over ..so their machinations didn't work... You words have put things in perspective for me.
Thank you again, Andrew. Whether you are reading your message or not, the substance of what you say resonates 100% with those of us who have lived through/living through relationships with the "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing." (Biblical reference, Sermon on the Mount) Mine is wife, communal and covert female narcissist. Scapegoated our daughter and I googled "splitting" looking for Borderline treatment and found Narcissism instead. Hearing the repetition of your message is what many of us need at different stages in our healing. It is like a balm - you get it, you lived it, survived it and come out better for it on the other side, and you know what the fire feels like refining the dross and burning off impurities, sandpaper making us smoother. Doesn't feel well going through it. Over 40 years here, informally discarded 15 years ago when I got hurt and income took a major hit "ruining her life", demanding divorce, THEN fighting over 4 years for the divorce SHE wanted. But the end of this phase is almost near. Finally. Then it will be only the grandkids' gatherings and celebrations (we had 4 wonderful children, now adults, 2 no contact, 2 moved far away for minimal contact). She got almost everything, including the church, but it' s worth it to be free. Most of the flying monkeys at church and neighbors etc etc, are now onto her. Hardest enablers to let go are sister-in-law and brother-in-law. She is cycling through old supply like a junkie. I am Hoover-proofed. 100%. But she still tries. Yes, even the old tube sock. Thank you again, and some of us believe our healing is by God's grace and through prayer vs meditation, plus community here and some others here who we have learned from.
Thank you for sharing. You just made me realize that my relocation and new job in a foreign country played a huge part. I didn’t made that connection yet, but it’s so sick to understand they are preying on this type of vulnerable situations. Thanks.
They try devestate people's lives,,keep on the Healing path,,find yourself again , and go on to enjoy your life and Freedom,,much love and encouragement sent,,You Can Do it,!!!💃👏💖💪💝💝💝🙏🙏
I have a restraining order on him for 2 yrs now..n there are still so many triggers ...didnt know what a narcissist was..unbelievable the stages..he will answer to God
That's what makes me take that cleansing breath every time my now adult children tell me that 'mom' has a 'new new new boyfriend': someone really believes they found the love of their life. Another one bites the dust more likely....😢
narcs new supply is very similar to him in his nasty ways.. She did things to purposely try to hurt me. A troll like person who “aimed to get her man!” Jokes on her, she got a narc instead, who is anything but a man, he’s a man-child. I tried to shake him several times, as you know, narcs attach themselves to people like a carbuncle feeding off your energy. I thought if I gave him enough room he’d find someone else to occupy his pea brain so I could get away. Those two were meant for each other. I didn’t anticipate the hurt or magnitude of deception I felt afterwards from the narc abuse. While talking on the phone with him, he dropped the call to answer the call from the new supply. I never answered another call, text, or email from him again. So happy to be rid of him and be 12+ months past that nightmare. I do not feel sorry for either one of them, they are birds of a feather of darkness. I focus on the light. I enjoyed the beautiful background, breeze and poignant message, Andrew. Thank you. 🙏🏻💜🦋🌳✨☀️✨
Like Andrew said, she thinks she got the prize but she got fool’s gold!! He probably enjoyed hurting you when he took her call. Those scoundrels deserve each other! I wouldn’t be surprised if he hoovers you down the road, but you’ll be at the pinnacle of indifference ✨
VeganLife-mn1jp Thank you for your kind reply Yes, I’ve received 38 hoovers in a variety of ways I never thought possible and I did not acknowledge one. That starves the narc from good or bad supply. He was trying to convince me he had “phone problems.” Well I guess he does have “phone problems” but they are not the kind Verizon or Samsung can fix, he IS the problem. I’m working my way to the pinnacle as we all are. Thank you and best wishes on this new chapter of your life. Andrew suggests the best ways to navigate this stuff.
@@VeganLife-mn1jp The ex narc latest supply took him down. He lost his health and good look. We don’t have to do anything but stay away and work on ourselves let karma does what karma does. Peace is Priceless 🙏
They use the complaints about others to hide behind . Making you believe it is everyone else but them . You start to believe it . And even support them on it .
Andrew, thank you for traveling this journey with me. I've been terrified, with constant nightmares. And you've always been there, a calm and steady in a turbulent time. He's gone now. He has a new supply. And I have continued to enjoy your company. Thank you for your friendship. Even at a distance. Thanks for helping me through it
My ex narc was a narc let's face it. His family knew, etcetc. After the bs of how he is living the dream, uber social, kind to others etc, he decided to beat me up. I went to court and he had two previous court cases with two other women 😮. I later found out he had got married, on face book showing us his new life. Two years into that marriage he died at 48. He had a brain tumour 😂😂😅karma gets yah. I'm really free now. Thanks for the vlogs 👍
You escaped, that is great. For info, in the UK there is a law called ‘Claire’s Law’ by which you or concerned family/ friends can ask the Police about a partner’s background. If they have a record of violence or domestic abuse, they will tell you. Thanks to Claire’s family who worked for this. She was killed by her ex-partner and was unaware he had a history. RIP.
@@StStStS Thank you so very much, yes I will take note of your details. Sometimes we just tell a story on you tube and let it go. Thank you for reading mine. I think men and women should vet partners especially if there's red glaring flags and one still isn't quite sure because of the charm and love bombing and trauma bonding. 🙏🏼 ✌️Happy life to you.
“Fool’s gold”.. good term.. I think it’s the name of a movie.. unfortunately I may sound harsh here but I won’t devote time in my brain for any human supply source anymore when it comes to the narc I’ve dealt with.. both past and future sources.. I’ve said this before on here somewhere but my focus is on myself and casualties and minimising casualties as best as I can.. besides I think my brain is overloaded as it is for now 😂and no, no one gets the time to boil an egg properly or clean the house properly because they’re too busy trying to get through the endless to-do list and dealing with hoarding (or discreetly working on other things 🤔).. the egg example always makes me laugh though 😂.. having issues with my comments since yesterday so hopefully this one stays.. glad to see you here Andrew.. we were all worried yesterday.. thank you 💜🪻
Hi Laila, How are you? Yep, fool's gold was a good movie, lots of diving, and gold! Right up my alley! 😂 And a little comedic so always a plus... Now, overloaded, should I hold off my reply to the long letter? Sorry it's late, I did send you a message there but since it's been flying monkey week (they all seem to come at once) and I'm just trying to stay busy, (running etc.) so as I said, that thread is getting long, is there any particular thread I should attach the reply to or should I just pick any or hold off all together because of the overload? Hope your weeks been ok... Cheers G 🙏☮️🐬
@@Thedisgardedoptimist hi Greg. Happy to hear from you 🙂 I’m doing ok, up and down, but overall ok. Not the happiest with all the rain this week though. One or two days a week is nice, but all week puts a dent in my outside plans (and the washing)😂And how are you? You mentioned flying monkey week, and I hope everything is ok for you. Also regarding overload, my communication with you or anyone here is never an overload. I very much appreciate being able to communicate on here, if anything, it’s a positive part of my day and/or week. If you’re wanting to respond to the longer message, I am very much more than happy to receive and read and write back. Any thread is fine, preferably not a video one (too much traffic). I had issues with my comments disappearing a few days ago. The day that Andrew uploaded his video very late and most of us got worried. I had managed to write on the flower post to see what was going on with the late video, and to Jennifer on the video, but after that I couldn’t comment for some reason. I’m glad you have managed to find a way to stay busy, and running is a wonderful way to do so while staying healthy. I hope no flying monkeys are causing you any stress. I’ll have to check out the fool’s gold movie sometime. It sounds interesting. Just the name somehow clicked in my brain 😂 if I remember correctly, Matthew McConaughey is in it. It sounds like it’s your type of movie. I also had issues with notifications the other day and didn’t receive them even if someone wrote to me. I hope these issues get resolved. I hope your week has been ok too apart from any flying monkeys and hope it didn’t rain too much for you. Wishing you a very peaceful evening 🪻🌧️🌧️🙏🙏
@@lailaa6662 Hi Laila, Thanks for your reply.. Rain rain right? When it decides to rain it doesn't do it by halves! Lol could almost build an ark here I had so much and if you are east of me it would have been worse so yup scratch the washing and binge movie time! The monkeys have been out in force since I got back - don't know what's happening but yep had to go for a run to get my head straight - it got pretty busy there for a while and right now it's gut vs The fear mind and I'm trying.... Gut says don't in a real big way so I'm not.... Ok was just checking, when you said you were overloaded I didn't want to add any more things to think about while you were processing, just making sure before I send another novel to read... I had a read of your letter and have some thoughts so there will be some stuff to ponder... Yep it will be in the community section, in the next day or so providing these monkeys don't come visiting since I didn't answer the phone.... Hope you have a good night and you manage to get your washing done.... Cheers G...🐬✨
@@lailaa6662 Hi Laila, Happy Sunday! Just letting you know, message sent to long thread and it seemed to stick so just in case you're not getting alerts, hopefully you'll get one from here... Have a good day.. G ☮️🙏🐬
@@Thedisgardedoptimist hi Greg. Happy Sunday to you too! Hope it’s not pouring rain for you. How are you today? I hope you’re doing ok. Im doing alright today, not letting any negative energy forces disrupt me. I appreciate you letting me know. I had a look just now and I haven’t received any longer messages from you. RUclips is likely playing up again. Sometimes I don’t get notified and messages are there (this occurred earlier this week which was strange), but I checked both and nothing appears on my end. I hope the rest of your day will be a peaceful one, without any monkeys disrupting it 🙏💜☀️☀️
Wonderful summary of the measures, and impact this sickness called narcissism has on the unaware. You make it easy to hang on to every word. Continue to share brother, we are listening.
Everything you stated is true. No contact yet one of the many new supply looks me up on social media. Now, isn't that pathetic. I still continue no contact to all of them. And what's interesting, is I don't think they know that they are not the only one in his life.
P.S. I set up my will so that HHE can NEVER touch one penny. I have a 'Blooddline Trust' meaning MY children and THEIR children can inherit, but not HIM, and NOT any of my children's spouses, just their children who will be MY blood. Because I don't trust that my ex would get his hands on my estate. BOOM. Sorry for typos, my keyboard....
@@VeganLife-mn1jp TY and yes...my oldest son has been played by a Narc and my almost 27 year old daughter keeps finding jerks just like her father. Now they're both not even trying to find decent partners. I'm trying to help them navigate...
I think that’s out of their playbook! It doesn’t matter how much he trash talks his ex, he’ll eventually return to her and think she’s perfect and now you’re painted black!
Andrew, thank you. I've learned so much from you. All that you've taught is shockingly true. When I first learned about this, I was almost numb for two days. My older sister, who I've always admired, has NPD. No matter how hard I tried, I never met her standard. She remains a saint with admirers. She did the love bombing thing, but I took courage and I didn't respond. I've severed the relationship, but now I have no family.
Ten years after divorce; I had a strong sympathy cry for this person; realizing the parent couldn't hold a warm closeness then the other parent died at an early age.. >feeling stronger myself but the leftove is our child is alone far away besides our loving acknowledgement. This really helps so much..Thanks a bunch.
The narcissist that I'm dealing with, her new supply/lover, pays for expensive hotels, gifts, and vacations. She even neglects her dogs for the new supply, bc she leaves that responsibility in the hands of her roommate, who has things to deal with on his own. She is also gaslighting another source of supply, who just came out of a divorce and calls him her best friend. It seems like her relationship with the current rich supply may last for a long time, but I pray I'm not around when it all falls apart, bc the last rich supply relationship she had, went on attack on the Internet and called her names. If history teaches us anything, the next go around may not be as kind.
In a world plagued by such individuals, thank you for helping to possibly understand and/ or move on with the development of civilization, and the evolution of the human race. 🙏
Meeting someone who is playing the victim is the first GIANT RED FLAG!
That's sad for actual victims😅
I've come to realize the hardest part isn't when you're actually in the relationship with the narcissist, as painful as it was. The hardest was letting go of what no longer serves you, and coming to terms that no one is going to heal you, but YOU!! A great quote I reposted which couldn't be more true is "Rock bottom will teach you more than mountain tops ever will." 💯❣
😌😌🙏💜
It's so difficult staying and leaving but one knows these people are soul vampires.
Hope they survive the darkest days of their lives.
I respect that. For me, the hardest part was coming to the realization of who certain people in my life actually were. The hardest part was coming to the realization in the reality that there are sadistic people in this world don’t just wanna take things from you in order for them to survive, they truly do want to hurt you, or anyone they can get their hands on so that they can feel powerful in a moment. It doesn’t matter if it’s a spouse or child, sometimes even a complete stranger but usually they try and collect those first by gift giving with strings, and mirroring. They will do their best to try and trample on other peoples bodies and shrink them down, in order for themselves to feel big even for a minute.
With that having been said. Being an imperfect person myself, effect that was often Weaponized to blame me for everything I did and didn’t do as well as everything. A narcissistic person also did and didn’t do, it excites me that despite this fact, other people are still doing their very best to be good and do good in this life and that I have the opportunity to do that and to bring that into this world. I have the opportunity to do that with my sons and with my wife and with my siblings they want to hear it at the end of the day you can’t control anybody else, but, I’m really excited about the opportunity to try and leave this world better than how I found it and to learn everything I can before I die.
But yeah, it was like I couldn’t see the world the same anymore after being brought to this truth that these people exist. A short while, it was hard not to get jaded. If you’re not careful, you’ll literally be sleeping with the enemy that secretly is trying to destroy you behind your back and insidiously step-by-step to your face, pleasure of doing so.
That’s just the reality of this world. That’s the reality of people. But so is other people who’ve been through the fire and flames and came out of the other side cauterized and reinforced with a metal alloy if you will. Both things are true, such as often the case in this life of nearly infinite simultaneous truths.
Thank you ❤ for the quote, I can truly relate to it.
Once you are awakened to narcs you'll never allow them to control you again and you'll protect yourself from being in the same situation again... Fantastic advice thank you
No contact was the best thing I did for myself and learning about narcissism has helped me stay strong and heal.
But you’re still with him, right?
I was married to one for 20 yrs. Your so right.
Trying to get myself together now just got a Divorce. All ready filling better😢😅
Same here
You meet the narcissist and its like a wonderful dream and then down the road you realize they were a total nightmare that never has a happy ending.
@@edwardspriggs5076 Yes! It was all the Love Bombing that I fell for. I always told my ex he got an A in courtship, not knowing it would soon lead to an F- in devaluing and then the discard.
@@edwardspriggs5076 that is correct 💯.
Yes the (New Supply) will go through what we did... if not worse.. the Narcissist does not change no matter who enters there life.
😌😌🙏
It's the most difficult to treat with therapy. Most therapists say it's basically pointless as they end up just mirroring and telling them what they want to hear. They also don't have a core personality so fixing that is almost impossible.
100%. My ex lasted about 4-5 years with the replacement.
About the same timeframe as me. I figured out it was a mess after about 6months ..yet stayed and was confused for too long. Never again
Exactly, they get the older, even more miserable narc. My ex narc was older than me and he is 76. I am so grateful I am away from him every day.
I dont care , they must be also sick if they messed with a married person, should had know better.
He knew exactly what he was doing.. and once I figured it out, it was hard to come to terms with the fact that I had fallen for all of the lies and allowed myself to be treated so poorly. God help his new supply..
💯💯😌🙏
I get it but my ex's new supply (they were numerous) gets what she deserves. She screwed her married boss, married with 3 children. She didn't care, so neither do I. You reap what you sow.
Same! I got tricked and trapped and treated like trash, too.
can you tell me why my ex narc keeps in touch with me like were best friends? He tells me abt his new supply and i share my experiences. He acts jealous when i share though. Is he truly my friend or is he manipulating me for something. Were not romantic at all!!
@@sheilachavis5175 He's using you for supply. You are in his harem garage. Get out.
the grass is never greener on the other side
💯💯😉
It is greener but it's never greener enough.
@@lilakilonen5663 it is to the narc
We know it’s not greener ; but if was the Narc will still defecate and urinate all over it
It’s greener for us though! ❤
My ex narcissist seemed to need me to need him. It was never really about a relationship, but rather his needing someone to stroke his ego, plus having someone he could bully at the same time.
It has been said that narcissists seek for people to get attached to them. But they never attach to anyone. I found that a useful and sobering thought.
@@StStStS This is true, at least in my experience.
This is what exactly happened to me problem was I didn't need him at all so we fought all the time.
What I struggled with for awhile was realizing the person wasn't real and all good experience you had with them wasn't real
This is what I'm struggling with.. and did I ever speak to who they really were?
The person you first meet was fake the abuse and degrading remarks is who they really are nothing about them was real it was an act to draw you in
@@camelotenglishtuition6394 no the person you first meet was an act it was false the evil they do is there true identity
@herrmann2185 💯 I think it has a spiritual dimension too. I think these people are evil.
Same!
Drag me not away with the WICKED, who speak peace with their neighbors, but malice and mischief are in their hearts.
Ps 28:3
psalms 37: 10 spoiler alert
Amen
Sam Vaknin did a talk once about how many analogies in the Tora were about narcs and psychos, etc. I need to find that one again, for future reference. (My mother's father, grandfather and great grandfather were Episcopal bishops. And both sides of the family were/ are full of narcissists. Wish this info was out in the open 35ish years ago when I was reading my covert narc mother's 4- 600 level 'psych' books, when she was getting her Masters degree, in mind manipulation! (And my father, his second wife, my mom's second relationship and also my younger brother, etc. also seem to ALL be a 3- 5/6 on the NPD spectrum?!) Now she just "play acts: forgetful, deaf and dumb," at 82! And I concur: Going little to no contact" is the ONLY logical, solution... because these people NEVER grow, nor CHANGE! (So who the heck needs the "escape- goating," abuse!?)
@@williamtiffee3799 I'd love to see those analogies
Beautiful ❤❤🙏✝️
Omg I paid for so much crap. He would call me for uber rides. I was an idiot and fell for it all. Dinners, concerts, movies, cologne clothes his phone bill. I was so broke with that clown. I was a yes person not anymore. I'm so happy I made it out. Thank you for these videos.
Don't be down on yourself. I did the same thing. I spent $60K on her (in a year) and was getting ready to get her a $30k Engagement ring.
She went through my Bible (i write down things i want to remember and date them) She went through my Office - She went through some old Cell phones I had in a drawer - She went through my Laptop - She went through old photo albums of past girlfriends - She had background checks done on me TWICE !!! She even bullshitted my Family members with her lies. She wanted to meet all my friends.
We are sooooo much better off without them.
@@risky1 omg I'm glad you didn't get tgat ring. Jesus I'm just happy we made it out and we can educate ourselves with these videos of awareness. Sending positive vibes.
@@empathicwarriorlissy3716 oh you and me both. Andrew is sooo right, you become stronger and more educated with these types of people. I know I have.
My next relationship will be much different with some hard boundaries.
I'm not going to navigate that gauntlet again.
Be humble and don't stumble
all the best
King Solomon was right, the end of some things is much better than the beginning.
Ohhhhhhhh.......I LIKE THAT !!!!!
I really do feel so sorry for the new supply, my ex’s 4th wife. I wouldn’t wish the misery of living with my ex on anyone.
That many marriages has to be a red flag!
Your EX is going to get custody of the Judge .....
Try being that person's kid.
My Bestee,s x narc husband is on his 4th wife,he's still married, she was # 1. .HAD the audacity to ask her to go to the beautiful Costa Rica with him,,her birthplace, at a church service.with other family members present.asking her across other people .been divorced from him at least 36 years. She was mortified...
My ex narc.gf actually has a good side genuine also, I think she developed her NPD from childhood trauma.
Every morning when I wake up I tell myself that I am the priority. I come first, second and third! Thanks so much Andrew for all that you do. You are truly a Blessing!
Welcome..💯💯💯😊🙏
Do this every night as well
@@MsCReads-jc8dc Andrew truly is, you are so right. Thank you.
He told me that the new supply treats him better than I ever could, I laughed and said I’m happy for you! I know nothing can make him happy he will pretend to be happy for 4-8 weeks and then boom he will find a reason to get rid of her and then bring in new supply I’m just happy I’m free
@@Openbookest82 that's just another LIE 🤣 😂
The new supply will find out in time they cannot bond. But it will take years to figure this out.
They'll find out alright..😄
if they survive that long
Yearsssss is correct smh
Everyone's process is different. Some might see it quicker. The narcissist slips and the narcissist gets worse over time
Didn’t take me years,it took about 9 months collectively cause I figured it out in about 3 months but because I knew the person for over 30 years I kept trying.been in no contact for 2 years now. It doesn’t hurt anymore but for some reason I’ve thought about her everyday since the breakup, that seems to be the hardest part,I’ve never experienced this part before.there’s no craving to go back or to want her it’s just that she’s been on mind. I guess this is what happens when you don’t get closure. It’s not as bad as it was so I figure it’s just going to take time for that part to disappear.
“Fool’s gold”. Well said.
😌😌💯
What an awesome saying 👍
True true true. It is only a selfish manipulative game for the narcissist to boost their ego. They need that. And we, empaths see now through it.
☀️💜🙏😌💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone ♥
The deeper reason is very odd. To sum up, they are trying to get close to destroy the other person to feel like a person..because they never do...
Amen 🙏🏼🌹
Mine said that his "biggest insecurity was all of his debt"... He spent money on himself constantly, $200 shoes, even hired a housekeeper to clean his one bedroom apartment. However, anytime we went somewhere, he was "so broke". 🙄
Interesting
🤮 Grifter and user alarm bells going off! He wants a mommy and an ATM 💵, not a woman to love and cherish.
the new Hyundai ad😂
How evil when they take u out they guilt you about the bill…and spend tons of $$$ on everything they want..
@@trishlynn3424 you have no idea. I feel so foolish but he was always so adamant about being broke, even cried! In retrospect, I can name so many times he turned around and spent money frivolously. He spent $100 on a seat cushion (he says he has a bad back 🙄) after telling a friend he needed to borrow $300. He didn't even say "borrow"- just that he needed it, demanded it. How broke are you really if you are buying seat cushions right after? AND he just bought a brand new car!
Use this time wisely..
This is your window of opportunity...
While the narc is busy with the new supply,
Disappear...
Good luck..🙏☮️✨🐬
100% 👍
What they will find out...cheating has consequences..
Protect yourself...see u doctor. Test, test and retest.
😌😌
So true. The days, weeks of silent treatment. Ignoring your messages. No birthday or christmas gifts. Contempt. Texting other supply in your presence, making you feel you are not good enough. No compliments. Discard then reel you back in and continue the pattern. Heart breaking
Sad to say most of us WILL find out what narcissistic abuse is by experience.
It took me TWO TIMES to figure out WTF was going on, but now I know. And I have to say that between Andrew and a ton of research, I am better ....stronger.....and don't take no chit offa nobody now.
Happens to the best of us.
The problem with narcissists is that they do the most damage when you are still a child. You can’t defend yourself when you’re a child
😌😌🙏
and thats where 80% of all narcs are born from, bad childhoods. the other 20% from grandiose, your so special, golden child mentality.
You Sir, are a Blessing to so many generations of us!!! Thank You ❤️🙏
💜🙏😌
Tha new supply an I are friends on Facebook,I hardly do socialmedia,her post look soooo familiar🙄🙏🙄🙏...thank you sir🏆
😮 I'm figuring the supply he thought was his new shiny object ain't so shiny because he's hovering weekly "checking on me" after discarding me almost 5 months ago. That man us a total fool!
💯💯😌
They always provide hints of who they were, who they are and who they will be after they are done with you. It’s just we weren’t sensitive enough to listen and/or react.
💯💯😉
Yes, and we gave them the benefit of the doubt, every single time.
YES,YES,YES,LISTEN WHEN PEOPLE SPEAK...YOU'D BE SURPRISED WHAT YOU ACTUALLY HEAR...FROM FRIENDS,FRENEMIES FAMILY,MOM,DAD,LOVERS,HUSBANDS WIVES..CO WORKERS. LISTEN CLOSELY....RED FLAGS POPPING OFF PAY ATTENTION..
@@luisolvera5574 we can’t believe our eyes and ears…! But, now I know better. It truly woke me up. I previously had no idea, i was in a bit of a naïve bubble til age 55! and I always wanted to blame myself for odd relationship issues. Now I know and those people stay clear. Or I keep at arms length
ive witnessed first hand, 2x of the mask completely falling off. talk about ugly. it takes something major, all is lost, and they know you are done with them, to see it completely fall off. having no knowledge of what a narc really was, i totally encouraged ex gf while she was having her narc break down with, 'there it is', thats the real you coming out. 'look how stupid you look', bla bla bla insults, just to stoke her fire of ignorance. she deserved everything i gave her, and then some. when finished, i told her she had 5min to pack her sh it up, and get out of my house for the final encore.
I’m free from the “ dead Narc” now,,, I call him this because he died almost 5 years ago of his own horrible self abuse/ smoking/ drinking/ evil plans/ evil deeds,,, but others have continuously popped up like in a video game,,, I’ve retreated to myself w/ my 10 little animals, almost no humans in my life. I know it changed me, forever, what he did,, I was a bright light, now, just a cowering old broken woman,, I have good days, but I just cannot trust anyone. I pray there would be a support group for people like me,,,,Andrew, you’ve been
My therapy and my healing path,,, I swear, if I had not found your channel??? I was sinking. So
I really thank you Andrew. ❤❤❤❤❤
No, you are still a bright light! And you will once again shine, only brighter! You are here, following your heart, taking time out, loving your critter family (my furry family--and Andrew--saves me every day). You are not broken, just trying to understand how people we love can treat us so poorly. I'm on a similar path as you and I believe that once we process all of this new information we will love ourselves more and not tolerate BS because we now recognize the truth. We learn how to save our love for those who don't mean us harm.
If you like to read, you might like "Self Compassion" by Kristin Neff. I'm also reading "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker to help me sort out childhood abuse. Ugh. Don't give up, I bet I'm older than you. 🤗🤗🤗
You just described me and my life perfectly...but at least I am at peace...
I can relate to this. Yes, changed me forever and not in a good way. I miss who I used to be: carefree and trusting; always believing the best in others.
So, no surprise: we are most vulnerable during a transition time in our life.
Boy! That knowledge is empowering!
Love these vids and this great understanding.
❤
I have found that if they find another Narcissist then they meet their match. It is not love at all, but they don't know any better. The best part is as long as they get old together the rest of us are clear, at least of those 2 anyway. 2 down 4 billion left to go.
😌😌💜
It's good when narcs marry each other, and make 2 people miserable, instead of four...
@@Ron-is5tdHollywood style
Great one.
I'm praying for the new supply because some people don't make it out alive or with their sanity still intact. I'm glad I did the best decision I ever made! Now I'm thriving and smiling dropped a few pounds due to gaining so much weight from being with him. Thank You, GOD, for giving me the strength to let go and never look back. ❤
I heard them called "Hell's Gatekeepers" the other day and there couldn't be a more appropriate title for them.
And you're 100% correct...they KNOW what they're doing because its all they know how to do!
He was on his iPhone the entire time he was at my friend's mother's funeral. The most disrespectful thing I have ever seen. Let's guess why? He couldn't get over the fact that my friend's dead mother was the center of attention. That is so sick!!! What a bad, bad man. All I can do is pray for him for me and for humanity.
Mine even asked the widow for the WiFi code!?
His "New" supply was 7 mos. Preg when our divorce was final. Where was he going? two NEW kids and 8 years later he finally married her (after putting OUR 3 kids through embarrassment/neglect) but now they are too miserable and broke to get divorced. Sympathy is under "S" in the dictionary. He's her problem, now, when she didn't get to be ME...the wife with the house, kids, good schools, etc., and she works full time. I'm certain she's cheating on him, and he's too strapped to survive another divorce. Oh well. All she has now is the narcissist that I escaped from. The sad thing is the children suffer at the end of the day.
Hi, because you have observed new supply v closely I want to ask some questions which I m struggling to get answers.
My ex husband got married thrice .
I was the second one n I was never aware about his first marriage.
After my divorce he married another women in just 1 month, he is still with that women n they have 1kid. Though he doesn't have any child from previous two marriages.
Recently I have seen his new wife was yelling some women online who is my ex's colleague , so I believe she already knows his cheating s.
Still I have questions how they are still together? How come she is portraying a happy marriage picture to everyone? Does a child can make this marriage work?
@@AA-nx2jz no he will damage all of them and keep walking. They are incapable of changing. I speak from experience. They only care about their own ‘public image’ and to Hell with everyone who they call partner or offspring. They are sick and think everyone who figures them out are the crazy ones. Avoid, stay centered, and protect yourself and your children. Period.
Well unfortunately the new supply is in for a big wake up call. But we know now that it is a badly wrapped gift. They will learn that eventually as we did. Great video Andrew thank you. Have a great evening and night. Big virtual hug 🫂😊🙌💜❤️
Thank you..😌💜🙏💯
Yep! Well said. A badly wrapped gift!
@@AuroraBelle1986 😉🙏
I got a feeling times going to catch up with them an their wicked ways. If not one way, in another.
I'm bad milk as it is lol I may be crazy, but I ain't no fool lol
Thank you for your wisdom.I love the sound of the leaves in the trees rustling in the wind that's natures applause for truth!
I love that...nature's applause for truth.
Welcome..😊💜🌳
The new supply is finding out and she has involved the law. He was put out of his new wife's house. She also has an order of protection against him. She struck "Fool's Gold", but she is learning fast. He thought he had it made with her. Reality is hitting him now. Thank GOD I am 🆓 from him. Over and OUT ✅💯. Stay in PEACE ✌🏽🕊️.
I know what police involvement is all about. He called 911 (phoney call) and uttered a death threat. I had no idea until the police tried to kick in my front door. He left the scene after he made the call. Then comes back like the victim.
Made an ass of himself. He thinks I charged him. He won't return.
@@terriblue68 we are so much better Now💯💯💯. Keeping my PEACE ✌🏽🕊️.
@@sharoneh8929 I am truly getting there. When people make me laugh, I actually laugh. That was my favorite thing to do in life. I have a great sense of humor, and that was one thing I didn't let shine. I tried though.
One foot in front of the other. We need the support of others who've been there, so thank you for that! ✌️ 😎 ☮️ 🕊 ❤️
3 weeks out, and the memories come flooding back. More red flags than a chinese day parade, and i ignored them all. Just figuring out why is a puzzle. God bless you Andrew
Don't dwell on the "why". Narcissists don't have feelings like you do, they might pretend to only to manipulate you.
@@rmzang I think the why is more about myself..like why didn't I act on all this cruelty or red flags? Thank God I'm out..
@@rmzang Also I hope you're healing if you're still going through it..
I chose to ignore the red flags because I wasn’t that invested in the “relationship”, until I was. I didn’t really like this person when we first met so red flags meant nothing to me. I couldn’t care less what he did or didn’t do because I wasn’t interested. I remember driving away that first day with an ick feeling and thinking “not in this lifetime”. He pursued heavily for many months (crossing boundaries) and through therapy I have learned how heavily I was manipulated. As soon as I started to have feelings, it was too late; I was too far in. The red flags still kept showing up, the only difference was that I was now making excuses for him. Almost 1 - 1/2 years post breakup and I’m still trying to make sense of it all. I have so many regrets…
@Goose-mn2me I'm not a professional but I think you need to forgive yourself
Spot on Andrew. Everything you say hits the mark. When you get trapped in a relationship with the narcissist, you get trapped in hell on earth. Thank you 🙏 for your daily help and assistance. God bless you ❤
Years ago my then husband just vanished (the brutal discard) and divorced me to marry the new supply. I found out much later that he has had kids with at least five different women while he's been married to her.
Yes sir! She fucxed around and found out 😂
Don't envy the new supply. They did you a favor. 🎉
Age 56, went no contact, that narcissist woman took my soul slowly over time. I never had a relationship that took so much work to go absolutely no where but in circles. Never appeased, my efforts always fell short no matter how hard I tried, things were wrong, things were not to her liking, people had hatred put on them for no reason, all by her shallow existence. The way she treats her teenagers was just one red flag I ignored. My healing journey has begun, This summer is about me and no one else! Not isolating, I need to be around happy people, not leaching parasites!
Thank you for sharing this ❤ i am nearly a year away from a 23-year narcissistically abusive relationship. Its been so hard but i am doing it ❤❤❤
I have been here..five wasted years.i made the decision this year to get out of the narcissitic relationship that almost killed me.i was so drained physically,emotionally,financially,spiritually.I have embarked on my healing journey trusting God for total emotional restoration.sometimes i dont even understand how i feel.Only God can heal anyone going through this
So right! Victim, needy, blaming past relationships to enter into new relationship. They love the attention seeking from new supply who has no clue.
Andrew, thank you for all your hard work keeping this topic front and center. Many of us benefit from these videos. God bless ❤.
Welcome..💜🙏😌
The new supply will find out that they stepped into The Twilight Zone
& have to experience feelings of a nightmare until they wake up or are discarded by the narc.
Be Well, Be Wise 🌈🎀😘
😌🙏💜
👍Trying to be wiser every day, Better than living a life of continuously patching holes.
….the narc hamster wheel of hell..❤️🔥
…glad we’re outta there…
Keep shining brightly marie ✨⭐️✨🎀
Yes! I heard from the now ex-Narc's mother (who still adores me) that his new wife 'hates' me. Yup. Her words. I suspect it's that way because when I left him, he found her, and now SHE has to suffer life with the man!
I certainly don't miss his awkward silences.❣️
I don miss all the ‘Yeah, you said that already.’ s 😂😂
Neither do I....
All narcissists in my life were complaining starting with my mother. And they can not give compliments- again starting with my mother and since there was no father I was used to not receiving compliments so my ex got away with it. This is a good way to recognize them.
I've noticed that- Aside from faked compliments at the love bomb stage, they have no vocabulary when it comes to
compliments or supporting words.
See how they treat people like service workers ..
"..bees & creatures here in the Carolina woods.." 🙂🤭
This video is a great reminder of all the nonsense that we all do not want to experience again.
Great video Andrew . Thank you for what you do 🙌. Love your background 🌿 God bless ☀️
Thank you..😊💜🌳🐝☀️
Thank you! My ex-wife got with a real 'doormat' of a guy. When I look back, all her ex's where very subservient personalities. I wasn't like that, but I have empathy and loving. That's how they work - they push those buttons and use those 'weaknesses' of your character. It's ironic isn't it?
My ex was engaged to this guy, eventually they broke up, good on him. He was a decent guy, just down on himself.
God bless you all and I wish you well in your recovery x
Welcome..😌🙏💜
My friend (acquaintance) who’s a narcissist..has been involved with people who love to be told what to do and how to run their lives to be Bullied and controlled.
Those people are out there. Sickening to watch.
@@EightBallAnswers1 they really are evil
People,do your inner work(lot of psychotherapy)to raise your vibration not to attract Narcs….complaining doesn help…it maintains one in the same victim status…
It s specialised psychotherapy that makes the difference🙂
Not for everyone but it is a good avenue for some...one of the problems is there aren't many really decent shrinks with narc treatments and they usually treat it as cptsd which yes it is but there's other work which needs to be done prior... like refocusing the locus of control, silencing inner voices (interjects) ...it's rough out there..whatever works for you God bless you
Happy to be the old supply 🙏🏻❤️🌺
THE SCORPION 🦂AND THE FROG 🐸
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”
“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you, I’d certainly drown myself.”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”
“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”
Beautiful
Narcissists will destroy themselves while trying destroy others. They lack a self preservation.
Yep. Human nature stays true to itself✔️✔️✔️.
Yes, they do know what they’re doing! Thank you!
& even better : God knows
I pray for the new supply, hopefully they wakeup quickly, and dont endure the torcher. 😢
She told me tonight that “ he can change for me” Girl I waited 11 YEARS for change… bless your heart
😌💜🙏
As usual....right on point. Thank you. It has been almost 2 years no contact and I still struggle daily with how this happened.
Me too
Fools gold struck a nerv ...... so glad I found you and this community ❤❤❤
i feel so sorry for my narcissists next victim there in for a hell of a ride but i hope my narcissist gets her just deserts and gets worked out early nobody deserves this kind of abuse like me and everyone else watching this channel has suffered funny thing is i wont even be jealous for my replacement just pity thank you andrew my new life being single is amazing am so happy
😌😌💜🙏
they're in for a rude awakening.
This is fantastic!
This is all we need.
In depth, clear, honest, true.
😌😌💜
Dear Andrew I am now inadvertently witness to the grooming and lovebombing of my narc husbands new supply just as he discarded me. Thanks to you I know have the knowledge of what this is as I can see why he chose her and what he’s doing. Sick twisted and I add I add evil is absolutely right because he knows exactly what he’s doing ❤🙏
systematic abuse
…weaving the narc spider web 🕸️
glad you are out
they are sick
So glad you're out .. God bless you
It doesn't matter if the new supply is better or worse, remember however green that grass the toxicity your ex feeds will kill everything and leave a barren land. Now they are gone you will bloom once again. I am 1 month in to ending 14 years of misery, but i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you Andrew for your daily support, it is always good to hear you however dark the day.
That was me....looking at the package ...luckily for me, I am not a push over ..so their machinations didn't work...
You words have put things in perspective for me.
😌😌💜🙏
Thank you again, Andrew. Whether you are reading your message or not, the substance of what you say resonates 100% with those of us who have lived through/living through relationships with the "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing." (Biblical reference, Sermon on the Mount) Mine is wife, communal and covert female narcissist. Scapegoated our daughter and I googled "splitting" looking for Borderline treatment and found Narcissism instead. Hearing the repetition of your message is what many of us need at different stages in our healing. It is like a balm - you get it, you lived it, survived it and come out better for it on the other side, and you know what the fire feels like refining the dross and burning off impurities, sandpaper making us smoother. Doesn't feel well going through it. Over 40 years here, informally discarded 15 years ago when I got hurt and income took a major hit "ruining her life", demanding divorce, THEN fighting over 4 years for the divorce SHE wanted. But the end of this phase is almost near. Finally. Then it will be only the grandkids' gatherings and celebrations (we had 4 wonderful children, now adults, 2 no contact, 2 moved far away for minimal contact). She got almost everything, including the church, but it' s worth it to be free. Most of the flying monkeys at church and neighbors etc etc, are now onto her. Hardest enablers to let go are sister-in-law and brother-in-law. She is cycling through old supply like a junkie. I am Hoover-proofed. 100%. But she still tries. Yes, even the old tube sock.
Thank you again, and some of us believe our healing is by God's grace and through prayer vs meditation, plus community here and some others here who we have learned from.
keep going ❤
Thank you for sharing. You just made me realize that my relocation and new job in a foreign country played a huge part. I didn’t made that connection yet, but it’s so sick to understand they are preying on this type of vulnerable situations. Thanks.
Best of wishes to you 🙏🙏🙏💜💐
They try devestate people's lives,,keep on the Healing path,,find yourself again , and go on to enjoy your life and Freedom,,much love and encouragement sent,,You Can Do it,!!!💃👏💖💪💝💝💝🙏🙏
Let’s hope they find out. Some don’t and never escape. Those are the people my heart breaks for 😢
😌😌💜🙏
I have a restraining order on him for 2 yrs now..n there are still so many triggers ...didnt know what a narcissist was..unbelievable the stages..he will answer to God
😌😌
Thank you for the video❤
Welcome..😌💯💜
So spot on. This is what I went through.
Always look forward for your videos. Wow
Thank you..🙏💜😌
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man, true mobility is being superior to your former self."
--Ernest Hemingway
When I tell you I looove the way you explain everything. So accurate 😢I'm dying inside in silence.
😌😌💜💯
It's been over six years and it feels like six minutes since I last saw them. I guess I don't miss all their hell.
That's what makes me take that cleansing breath every time my now adult children tell me that 'mom' has a 'new new new boyfriend': someone really believes they found the love of their life. Another one bites the dust more likely....😢
narcs new supply is very similar to him in his nasty ways.. She did things to purposely try to hurt me. A troll like person who “aimed to get her man!” Jokes on her, she got a narc instead, who is anything but a man, he’s a man-child. I tried to shake him several times, as you know, narcs attach themselves to people like a carbuncle feeding off your energy. I thought if I gave him enough room he’d find someone else to occupy his pea brain so I could get away. Those two were meant for each other. I didn’t anticipate the hurt or magnitude of deception I felt afterwards from the narc abuse. While talking on the phone with him, he dropped the call to answer the call from the new supply. I never answered another call, text, or email from him again. So happy to be rid of him and be 12+ months past that nightmare. I do not feel sorry for either one of them, they are birds of a feather of darkness.
I focus on the light. I enjoyed the beautiful background, breeze and poignant message, Andrew.
Thank you. 🙏🏻💜🦋🌳✨☀️✨
Like Andrew said, she thinks she got the prize but she got fool’s gold!! He probably enjoyed hurting you when he took her call. Those scoundrels deserve each other! I wouldn’t be surprised if he hoovers you down the road, but you’ll be at the pinnacle of indifference ✨
proud of You! keep swimming...
VeganLife-mn1jp
Thank you for your kind reply
Yes, I’ve received 38 hoovers in a variety of ways I never thought possible and I did not acknowledge one. That starves the narc from good or bad supply.
He was trying to convince me he had “phone problems.” Well I guess he does have “phone problems” but they are not the kind Verizon or Samsung can fix, he IS the problem. I’m working my way to the pinnacle as we all are. Thank you and best wishes on this new chapter of your life.
Andrew suggests the best ways to navigate this stuff.
@@VeganLife-mn1jp The ex narc latest supply took him down. He lost his health and good look. We don’t have to do anything but stay away and work on ourselves let karma does what karma does. Peace is Priceless 🙏
Love you too Andrew and anyone on here that is real 💜
God bless you
I still have two small children that need my protection. But we need to come together and help those who can’t help themselves. 🙏
😌💜🙏
They use the complaints about others to hide behind . Making you believe it is everyone else but them .
You start to believe it . And even support them on it .
That is how the new supply is manipulated into believing whatever false narrative they sell them
Every word you spoke is all truth.
😌😌🙏
Andrew, thank you for traveling this journey with me. I've been terrified, with constant nightmares. And you've always been there, a calm and steady in a turbulent time. He's gone now. He has a new supply. And I have continued to enjoy your company. Thank you for your friendship. Even at a distance. Thanks for helping me through it
My ex narc was a narc let's face it. His family knew, etcetc. After the bs of how he is living the dream, uber social, kind to others etc, he decided to beat me up. I went to court and he had two previous court cases with two other women 😮. I later found out he had got married, on face book showing us his new life. Two years into that marriage he died at 48. He had a brain tumour 😂😂😅karma gets yah. I'm really free now. Thanks for the vlogs 👍
You escaped, that is great. For info, in the UK there is a law called ‘Claire’s Law’ by which you or concerned family/ friends can ask the Police about a partner’s background. If they have a record of violence or domestic abuse, they will tell you. Thanks to Claire’s family who worked for this. She was killed by her ex-partner and was unaware he had a history. RIP.
@@StStStS Thank you so very much, yes I will take note of your details. Sometimes we just tell a story on you tube and let it go. Thank you for reading mine. I think men and women should vet partners especially if there's red glaring flags and one still isn't quite sure because of the charm and love bombing and trauma bonding. 🙏🏼 ✌️Happy life to you.
@@TracyNewton-q3b And to you 👍
Thank You Andrew for keeping it real,
You nailed it and helped me so much
“Fool’s gold”.. good term.. I think it’s the name of a movie.. unfortunately I may sound harsh here but I won’t devote time in my brain for any human supply source anymore when it comes to the narc I’ve dealt with.. both past and future sources.. I’ve said this before on here somewhere but my focus is on myself and casualties and minimising casualties as best as I can.. besides I think my brain is overloaded as it is for now 😂and no, no one gets the time to boil an egg properly or clean the house properly because they’re too busy trying to get through the endless to-do list and dealing with hoarding (or discreetly working on other things 🤔).. the egg example always makes me laugh though 😂.. having issues with my comments since yesterday so hopefully this one stays.. glad to see you here Andrew.. we were all worried yesterday.. thank you 💜🪻
Hi Laila,
How are you?
Yep, fool's gold was a good movie, lots of diving, and gold! Right up my alley! 😂 And a little comedic so always a plus...
Now, overloaded, should I hold off my reply to the long letter? Sorry it's late, I did send you a message there but since it's been flying monkey week (they all seem to come at once) and I'm just trying to stay busy, (running etc.) so as I said, that thread is getting long, is there any particular thread I should attach the reply to or should I just pick any or hold off all together because of the overload? Hope your weeks been ok...
Cheers G 🙏☮️🐬
@@Thedisgardedoptimist hi Greg. Happy to hear from you 🙂 I’m doing ok, up and down, but overall ok. Not the happiest with all the rain this week though. One or two days a week is nice, but all week puts a dent in my outside plans (and the washing)😂And how are you? You mentioned flying monkey week, and I hope everything is ok for you. Also regarding overload, my communication with you or anyone here is never an overload. I very much appreciate being able to communicate on here, if anything, it’s a positive part of my day and/or week. If you’re wanting to respond to the longer message, I am very much more than happy to receive and read and write back. Any thread is fine, preferably not a video one (too much traffic). I had issues with my comments disappearing a few days ago. The day that Andrew uploaded his video very late and most of us got worried. I had managed to write on the flower post to see what was going on with the late video, and to Jennifer on the video, but after that I couldn’t comment for some reason. I’m glad you have managed to find a way to stay busy, and running is a wonderful way to do so while staying healthy. I hope no flying monkeys are causing you any stress. I’ll have to check out the fool’s gold movie sometime. It sounds interesting. Just the name somehow clicked in my brain 😂 if I remember correctly, Matthew McConaughey is in it. It sounds like it’s your type of movie. I also had issues with notifications the other day and didn’t receive them even if someone wrote to me. I hope these issues get resolved. I hope your week has been ok too apart from any flying monkeys and hope it didn’t rain too much for you. Wishing you a very peaceful evening 🪻🌧️🌧️🙏🙏
@@lailaa6662 Hi Laila,
Thanks for your reply..
Rain rain right? When it decides to rain it doesn't do it by halves! Lol could almost build an ark here I had so much and if you are east of me it would have been worse so yup scratch the washing and binge movie time!
The monkeys have been out in force since I got back - don't know what's happening but yep had to go for a run to get my head straight - it got pretty busy there for a while and right now it's gut vs The fear mind and I'm trying....
Gut says don't in a real big way so I'm not....
Ok was just checking, when you said you were overloaded I didn't want to add any more things to think about while you were processing, just making sure before I send another novel to read... I had a read of your letter and have some thoughts so there will be some stuff to ponder...
Yep it will be in the community section, in the next day or so providing these monkeys don't come visiting since I didn't answer the phone....
Hope you have a good night and you manage to get your washing done....
Cheers G...🐬✨
@@lailaa6662 Hi Laila,
Happy Sunday! Just letting you know, message sent to long thread and it seemed to stick so just in case you're not getting alerts, hopefully you'll get one from here...
Have a good day..
G ☮️🙏🐬
@@Thedisgardedoptimist hi Greg. Happy Sunday to you too! Hope it’s not pouring rain for you. How are you today? I hope you’re doing ok. Im doing alright today, not letting any negative energy forces disrupt me. I appreciate you letting me know. I had a look just now and I haven’t received any longer messages from you. RUclips is likely playing up again. Sometimes I don’t get notified and messages are there (this occurred earlier this week which was strange), but I checked both and nothing appears on my end. I hope the rest of your day will be a peaceful one, without any monkeys disrupting it 🙏💜☀️☀️
My prayers for the new supply.
Wonderful summary of the measures, and impact this sickness called narcissism has on the unaware. You make it easy to hang on to every word. Continue to share brother, we are listening.
Thank you for this!
Welcome..🙏💜😌
Everything you stated is true. No contact yet one of the many new supply looks me up on social media. Now, isn't that pathetic. I still continue no contact to all of them. And what's interesting, is I don't think they know that they are not the only one in his life.
Absolutely you nailed my situation but I’m still breathing! Another great video.
Yes, our disabled son's birthday is Friday. He will get nothing from his father. OUR three children just don't exist to him. His loss.
P.S. I set up my will so that HHE can NEVER touch one penny. I have a 'Blooddline Trust' meaning MY children and THEIR children can inherit, but not HIM, and NOT any of my children's spouses, just their children who will be MY blood. Because I don't trust that my ex would get his hands on my estate. BOOM.
Sorry for typos, my keyboard....
That’s absolutely awful 😢 I’m glad your children have you, but what a demon to ignore his own children.
@@VeganLife-mn1jp TY and yes...my oldest son has been played by a Narc and my almost 27 year old daughter keeps finding jerks just like her father. Now they're both not even trying to find decent partners. I'm trying to help them navigate...
🎈Happy Birthday to your son 🥳
@@janettesessarago4690 thank you, I made it a happy day for him ❤️
Lay it out Anthony. I'm right there with you on this narc bullshit. I live it!
Thnx ! Right? What a lost life to an unhappy soul of darkness! Run no contact block!!!!
Radical Acceptance is a pretty hard thing to accept 😔
Andrew, thank you for this info..it’s helping me to realize everything u talk about is exactly what has happened..
Welcome..🙏💜😌
Mr. N discarded me and went back to live with his ex-wife (who he claimed slept with everyone in the neighborhood) - go figure!
I think that’s out of their playbook! It doesn’t matter how much he trash talks his ex, he’ll eventually return to her and think she’s perfect and now you’re painted black!
@@VeganLife-mn1jpkharma
She did you a favor 🫶🏃🏻♀➡
Andrew, thank you. I've learned so much from you.
All that you've taught is shockingly true. When I first learned about this, I was almost numb for two days.
My older sister, who I've always admired, has NPD. No matter how hard I tried, I never met her standard. She remains a saint with admirers. She did the love bombing thing, but I took courage and I didn't respond. I've severed the relationship, but now I have no family.
Ten years after divorce; I had a strong sympathy cry for this person; realizing the parent couldn't hold a warm closeness then the other parent died at an early age.. >feeling stronger myself but the leftove is our child is alone far away besides our loving acknowledgement. This really helps so much..Thanks a bunch.
The narcissist that I'm dealing with, her new supply/lover, pays for expensive hotels, gifts, and vacations. She even neglects her dogs for the new supply, bc she leaves that responsibility in the hands of her roommate, who has things to deal with on his own. She is also gaslighting another source of supply, who just came out of a divorce and calls him her best friend. It seems like her relationship with the current rich supply may last for a long time, but I pray I'm not around when it all falls apart, bc the last rich supply relationship she had, went on attack on the Internet and called her names. If history teaches us anything, the next go around may not be as kind.
In a world plagued by such individuals, thank you for helping to possibly understand and/ or move on with the development of civilization, and the evolution of the human race. 🙏