I never felt so alone in all my life. I reached the breaking point one too many times. I did everything. His own sister said to me how could I put up with him. I searched for all of what you mentioned here. I couldn’t believe I realized he was abusive. I never really felt loved by him. I thought I was crazy.
I typed in ‘why does my spouse compete with me?’. BAM! Narcissist. They do love imagining you feel trapped. Boosts that tiny fragile ego. Pea brain is right.
Now imagine having to grow up with that same dynamic except the one competing with you for affection is your pathological father. I honestly believe a malignant narcissist is a demon inhabiting the body. Because when you look into his background, it's quite bizarre. His father was a coroner at Guantanamo Bay in the navy, and from there, a casket sales man to a funeral home director. His parents were extremely desensitized and narcissistic, and I believe cursed for partaking in that abnormal act of embalming. The reason why I bring all this up is because he told me a story about his experience with the white Buffalo calf woman which I didn't know was a thing until I asked someone from a local tribe about his experience and they basically told me it was a native succubus that was trying to kill him because it knew he was going to be abusive to his family.
Anyone who's just starting on the road of learning what the hell happened to your life, go back and watch many of Andrew's videos. There's a great wisdom in his words. Dude must have walked thru hell to have acquired it. This channel has definitely helped me gain clarity and answer 12 years of questions and frustrations...
Typical day - the monster say's, "I'm going to Target to pick up a prescription." Target is five minutes away. Six hours later, after not responding to phone calls or texts, the world's biggest philanderer comes home. If I had a dollar for every time....
I am now realizing that all 3 major relationships in my life were with narcissists who each presented slightly differently. Two I had to leave, they weren’t ever going to leave physically but continued to abandon me and at times completely ignore me. I’ve never felt so alone. The key that ties them all together is the complete lack of empathy and being completely self-centered. My needs and preferences didn’t matter.
As a young adult, I would always drive 3 hours to visit my narc mom on holidays. (She would always guilt trip me that I don't visit enough, while she NEVER visited me.) Before leaving for the trip, I would call her to ensure she would be home when I arrived, but she would always play games to make me arrive and WAIT for her to arrive. I was to just sit in her empty house until she got home because she had things to do and wasn't going to commit to a time to be home for me. Then, she would always have a guest of honor for dinner. Our family served as supporting pawns around the dinner table while she schmoozed this guest. I finally stopped visiting her on holidays because I was sick of making the long trip just to be treated poorly (as the invisible child). Now, that I understand narcissism, it all makes sense. Thanks for the videos.
@@mindfulmaximalism Frighteningly familiar. They do like to make you wait and make a grand entrance. I showed up to empty house many times. They also like to brag you’re coming to visit though but there is no visit really.
The constant waiting for my mother drove me nearly insane. I have had the exact experience as you. She would insist i arrive earlier than was comfortable for me to help with cooking ,setting the table etc. Then she would be late. Then the dinner table conversation would revolve around her and her endless stories and memories. Most of her stories were about her unhappy marriage to my father even 30 years after they separated. The whole family would have to sit and listen endlessly. Then we would clean up and what was intended to be a simple family meal would be a 4 or 5 hour marathon that would take me days to recover from.
I figured it out , broke up for a year, took her back and 4 more years of the full menu. Ended it again nearly 4 years ago but fell for a Hoover 6 weeks ago. Saw her once and I’m still reeling from it. Do not break no contact !
When you're in the relationship you don't realize that you are in a trap. You're used to the daily madness and chaos it seems normal. As heart and mind understood this, I left. I am so grateful that I made it. Thank you Andrew, ....yes never give up !!🍃❤🍃
it became the normal for me not knowing what person i would meet when i went to her house as luckily we never lived together getting the silent treatment for going swimming or running or the gym convincing me i had mental health issues like adhd ticks tourettes mild autism i started not knowing myself anymore until 1 day i snapped after an evening out her poor behaviour i could take no longer i walked away for good saw the mask slip before my very eyes october 15th 2023 liberation day am living my best life holidays being with friends at peace with the world its a great place to be
Exactly that Andrew!! I had that feeling sat next to him, I have never felt more alone and disregarded as a human being.... NEVER. The anxiety started to build as I was trying and trying to please him and care for him. I felt like I was in a parallel universe 😢. I wish I'd shortened the relationship months earlier when the first red flag appeared and slapped me in the face. He thought he was entitled, a petulant child who could have what he wanted when he wanted. Delusional. I'm relieved, my health has returned and I'm content.... just thankful because he could have caused so much more damage....he is dangerous. 😔
Same Julie ….so glad you are out and rebuilding your life… your happiness! You deserve it & I hope you have a very blessed day & wknd. God bless you 🙏🏻💝🕊️
I feel it is because they are power motivated under the guise of love, just like when they give a gift, they expect something in return. They know that premium supply has a sense of duty and obligation. They will stack up "the debt" with them till you are overwhelmed and at wits end. BPD, avoidants and a few other folks that would benefit from seeing a shrink can NEVER do that, because they know that the shrink will see through their sales pitch and destroy that illusion like hot water on an icecube. The hardest patient to treat IS the narcissist/BPD. Horrible, but infallible people, also ungrateful to a fault. Thank you sir for giving this platform for me and others to vent and to learn of these critters, it really helps, you are so appreciated!
"The endless to-do list" is a good way to put it- for the unpaid helper. I know that those who have no option to misuse their freedom are not truly free, but these people take that misuse to another level, and don't want YOU to be free.
@@michaeltape8282 Yes. no autonomy. I go outside to sweep (freedom, lol) and when I come in, I am met with panic face and a side-eye to the clock. W-T-F. It surely is nuts to be them, who lives like this, lording over another person’s movements.
@@sanddune3804 OMG, really? Currently? I realize that not all situations are identical, but you need to make some serious plans to escape. It is so liberating, and the only thing that will really get the narcs attention. My experience is you can't deal with this using conversation. Futile. If you can, get out, soon. I hope things work out for you.
michaeltape8282 So agree with you…don’t waste your time in any further discussions with the narc…they have shown who they are, take action for yourself and safely leave/go no contact as soon as possible.
Trapped because they guilt trip you. They make you feel sorry for them. Moreover, you probably felt insecure (because they made you feel that way through triangulation) It’s a whole load of fake s**T show - Thank you Andrew. Another quality video ❤️🌷
Geeze Andrew, you are describing my marriage exactly. Dragging out the divorce, draining my finances. What a nightmare. It is a trap from the first date to the end of the marriage. It's just been a game for my narcissistic husband. They enjoy recking havoc, ruining your life and watching you suffer. It's an evil scheme.
Thank you for picking me up off the floor! You have helped me more than you will ever know. Everything you have said matched my abuse. You showed me the way out. Im not looking back ever. Thank you again.
This is so true my sister throughout the course of her life would say something like "well not according to my book", and then just make up the rules as she went along and would pull that type of nonsense when she wanted something from any one of the family members...now she's just an aging narcissist.
All holy Hell broke loose when I dumped him. I was in the relationship longer than I should have been but I was being held prisoner in my own home. I once loved him and I saved his life and now I feel nothing but hate and regret.
I went to a therapist i thought she would help me and she lowkey blamed me for my health issue. I felt horrible and i cancelled all future appointments. I felt like i just got abused again. Thank God im more educated now and i dont stick around abuse anymore. I see the red flags and im out.
Call them counselors. Why the hell were they called therapists anyway? That's fishy. They counsel or they don't. I advise against that racket. I am surprised Andrew continues to use that word. With no forewarning.
"Not trapped any longer"...soothing my ears and soul. Trapped and trauma bonded. A fata morgana that never actually existed. Thank you, Andrew. All your content is enlightening, helpful and encouraging for all of us hurt, abused and discarded.
Thanks Andrew you are one who loves to guide others to freedom and forgiveness for ourselves that I have found in these eye opening videos again, thank you so much and God bless your msg...
Hold on ,therse s hope, i m 7 months recovering a long dark road... and ever new spark...is speaking brighter...and the light that was stolen...like a springtime sunrise ,has risen anew ,thank you Andrew,thanks man,keep the faith y all , A belgian.❤
Being out of a toxic marriage for a while now it is still amazing that I found this channel! I was so so lost and messed up. so much of what Andrew says over an over still teaches me. Daily I listen to him and find myself thinking of the things that controlled me an made my life hell. As I read the comments and see others at different points in their journey, I am reminded how real this is. I feel grateful you are all here and are sharing your experience! Thank you for the help you continue to give me. We are no longer alone!!
I was trapped by his occupation of my head. Thoughts like, "why hasn't he called for 5 days?" On 19th July it will be 3 months no contact. I looked over my journal as to how i felt after 5 days. I felt numb and full of second guessing, like, "who am i to label him a narc. I am not a professional..." at the moment i think about him less. I've achieved a quiet time in my life, for healing. I dont have a mind full of chaotic thoughts. I'm giving myself the space to build up my self esteem again. Yes, it is getting better. Andrew, your daily support has really given me the help i needed to break this cycle. Some of the things you have said have really sunk in now. I've realised how people test you to see if you are going to be their unpaid helper. And as soon as i set boundaries for myself, i could tell by his reaction that he liked it the least.
Wow his new supply must have a huge amount of resources. She is a very vulnerable wealthy widow. He’s been with her for over two years. I don’t envy her because I’ve already lived through what she’s experiencing now or will experience shortly.
My ex narc was always on the lookout for another woman that perhaps had more money and could be a better option for him. He once said to me, "you have some money but you don't have throw away money". Listen to what they say. Believe them. In the end he did find a widow with some resources but when he needed her money the most, to pay his hospital deposit in advance, she refused. He died that night. (I had blocked him by that time) one of his flying monkeys (my cousin) said, "how can you just cancel a friendship?" I said, "but he has a new girlfriend...." I then had to block her too.
I just stay in toxic relationship during one year, we got married I relocated and things has gotten worse and worse. That was my fault, I ignored all of red flags in the beginning I didn’t know nothings about narcissistic people before been through it. I always felt bad about the way she treated her parents, I wondered when I would be the next one, it doesn’t take long time and stared devaluation and criticisms . She wanted Control everything and everyone should serve her needs! When I realized I was depressed with low self esteem and completely exhausted to deal with her chronic unsatisfied feelings. I haven’t an exit plan at all, so I just decided to go away and retake my life. Thank god we don’t have kids, I still healing but things definitely has gotten better.
My heart goes out to anyone watching this who has suffered at the hands of a narcissist. I have just got out of a twenty year relationship with my sister-in-law who I realised a few weeks ago is a narcissist. She tried to disrupt my happinesd and compete with me and as Andrew always says, the narcissist "always overplays their hand". And this is exactly what she did. And the mask fell, spectacularly. Andrew, you buoy us up every day. In your own words, you are beautiful, bright, shining light! ❤
Trapped chasing a personal want. All you find is a mirage for as long as you want to fool yourself. In hindsight, now with narc armor, all the signs were there from day one. At least in my case. Got caught at a bad time. When in vulnerability, which you also know now how to recognize, make no relationship attempts. Want total relief ? Make no relationship attempts. The relief is like no other. Done.
Don't lose hope in humanity. If you're an empath that automatically renders you vulnerable. There are authentic people out there... finding them is a little more difficult 🤷 I hope you're healing and wish you well 🙂🙏
@JulieShah-in7zz A very nice reply. No havnt lost all hope in humanity. The bad are just far more arrogant and exploitative with loud voices. But no automatic assumptions. Looks can deceive with as in external appearances. The more external validation is seen, the more I would question it. Point is awareness. Never getting blindsided by one's own naivete. As least you try. Appreciate the good thoughts and be well in all you do ! 🤜🤛
Amazing video..too many examples I can relate to..he had me trapped and under his control.. I relish my freedom now.. Thank you for the message and have a great evening!
Everything was and is punitive and conditional! I believed it was all my fault and my people pleaser self and taking over responsibility created a cycle that I barely got out of after 33 years! Thank you Andrew & Community for the LOVE 💗
ALL TRAPS begin in the human mind. And the mind with the problem doesn't have the solution. Therefore, we must be willing to break the wall of our "perception" of how things "should be". "We are learning" is the best quote of this video. Open your mind, let go your fear of the 'outside view" or what is "different" and grow and heal before life is spent and gone. Time has no merci nor it waits for anyone. In order to heal, four actions are key, Self-honesty, courage, acceptance and detachment. Blessings!
You and Dr. Les saved me. You would have been pleased to see how you taught me to repell a major league hover and double tag team flying monkeys that were both in person and written coordinated.... They flew right into a smiling happy grey rock ...splat. 💥 THANKS Andrew, I feel good. Life is rapidly returning to good. 🥳 ❤2u ALL
Yes I used to deal with them when I finally spoke about what's happening taking the opportunity then I saw it's true they really do all that no contact feels best it's most unpleasant feeling being trapped with them they're all same, that parent, siblings, friend, ex companions thank you great video 😊
Great video Andrew!! When i started the healing path, i took up running. The first song on my playlist was Trapped by Bruce Springsteen. It tells the story, but it also lit the fires for me and got me moving forward. If you are trapped find something to get you moving again, dont think too much just start walking, things will start processing. Waiting to move keeps you stuck in the past and ruminating. Keep moving forward. Wishing everyone clarity and peace ✌
every day was a storm walking in a mine field. When I found out what a narcissist was I waited till she was telling me that I should leave, and I called her a Narcissist. It was like the Tsar Bomba.
Now I understand why I always lived in fear feeling terrified and still do ever though my mother, (a true narcissist) is dead and my sister is completely blocked. 😞
My ex- narcissistic spouse used to conveniently bring up Bible teaching to keep me trapped. Wives submit to their husband, don’t judge another, always forgive and finally God hates divorce. These all gave him a free pass in his eyes or I wasn’t a “ good Christian”. I finally realized that God was my Father and He loved me and wouldn’t want His daughter being hurt for decades.
So true dear xx your words are freeing 🙏🏻🕊🌟🌸🪴🌺 sadly some Christian men use these verses inappropriately- hope you can find the true meaning from ABBA Father. “It is for freedom that Christ set you free. . . . “ wisdom and protection to you xx blessings in Jesus xx
It's like the whole world can change but you always have to be there AND stay the same ! They have to be more important than almost ANYTHING else , if you don't contact them within even a short time they need a reason , and you find yourself making excuses to avoid conflict ! If you do things without them they are confused why you didn't tell them , and WOE BETIDE you if you should ever have fun or enjoy yourself without them ! If you try to tell them how you had a great time they always have to pull it apart , then mock and ridicule it !! The very idea of you enjoying yourself without them really erks them to their very core ! Basically they think that you live your whole life AT THEIR PERMISSION !!! 🤨That is a narcissist ! 🙏❤️😎
Thank you for sharing this. It sums up everything I feel. I have just started the divorce, and what you said rings so true to everything that has happened to me, and I guess what I still have to go through. I am so sorry that you suffered this too and thank you for telling us as I am sure there are many of us that are somewhere along the path you have trodden and felt so alone. Your strength in sharing gives me strength not to give up not my narcissists demands
Could I have done something more ?? Trust me, no. I gave 25 years of *more* - only to have more pain, more loneliness, more abuse to me & children, more health problems & financial loss. Pain. Divorce is laborious as Andrew said - dragged out, vicious games you won’t imagine. God, I prayed, please help me out of this. So we escaped. Not trapped anymore - there’s life, there’s love …,there’s hope and freedom .. on the other side. Thank you Andrew 🙏🏻👣⛰️❤🕊️
❤ Hi and thank you! I wish I could put together a clip of clips of yours bc no matter how, background noise sneaks in, like, every one lol 😅 it's cute, tho, cuz you are so un-bothered 😂 each new video it still happens. Much hugs to you and the pups, from me and my pup!
Again Andrew, it's like you were there, and then flew a drone over the area to let someone like me see the bigger picture. Thanks as always for the reminders about everything i can do and become going forward. It's so appreciated & your channel continues to be part of my daily practice to be my best self. I am free and sending you care and light as always 🎉
I am reaching the pinnacle of indifference after 7 years of marriage and three young children. Kids are still too young to not have a mother in the home but I am working on an exit strategy. I really appreciate what you're doing, here.
Even if you are not in a relationshit these demons can still cause chaos in your life. I have an unbelievable situation with my neighbor who threatened me severely right in front of a sheriff ( for 30 minutes) what did I do? I knocked on his window to tell him to stop running over my shrubs. I'm talking to lawyers trying to get him charged. It's unbelievable.
The problem is I am trapped within myself. I've been isolating for many times many years, my personality is brittle and impatience. It seems I an unhappy person by nature and I contact the wrong people to download my bitter experiences and it is not their responsibility because I don't have friends. I give people the shits they run a mile, I'm embarrassed, I'm 63, I'm grim because the only time is giving to others I feel ok but I throw myself at them practically giving my whole self away!
My ex thought by getting me pregnant that was gonna TRAP me.... After 8yrs of being in that BS. NOPE made me leave quicker than I thought being a new mom
Same for me! I didn't care enough about my own safety to leave the relationship. But once I had my baby to protect, those rose glasses and denial went away really fast. Glad you are safe ❤
Hope no one skipped out after you said something like “that’s the video “, at the 22 minute mark you shared really important great info 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 Thank you
The narc wanted to trap me as she has her enabler/flying monkey husband and others. When she was discarding me she was working on her next target and she set me up so she could blame and shame her. It was pay back for both of us. She is doing her very best to separate her husband from absolutely everyone. She really is vile.
You become cognitive desonate. Fuks with the natural chemical functions. Distorted and unable to make basic decisions or choices cuz your not all there. Love to all that healing from this horrible journey. Take every chance and be gentle with yourself. Be kind and knowledgeable you are lived. ❤❤❤
My narc relationships always ended up with the narc stalking me. Even 35 years later, the narc professed his undying love for me. I have a child with him; otherwise, he wouldn't be in my life. After I left this narcissist, I entered another narc relationship. In both these relationships, the narc desperately tried to get me back. This seems so weird to me that someone so stuck on themselves would become so desperate to get me back, first by threatening methods that over time lessened to pure whining and begging. Were they trying to play on my heart strings? To make me feel sorry for them? How does this "fit" into narcissistic personality? It seems to me that they are giving all the power to me. Over the decades I did get so strong that I wouldn't even give them a micro inch to get into my realm.
I typed ' why my boyfriend promises to do things together, and disappears for two weeks on the planned day, then reappears saying he was feeling unwell' ...5 years 😅
Kudos to our friend's narcissistic ex who emotionally abused her at the casino 😮 It reached a point where none of her friends want her to show up at the casino because no one wants to see her pesky ex!😝
My narcissist boyfriend at times disrespects me and embarrass me and make me look like I'm not good enough he's 55 years old he gos looking at younger girls 15 to 20 some years old and I'm sure he knows how much that hurts me and embarrass me one day I'm going to yell out let's go Chester pretty sad he walks away with a big smile on his face like he's proud of it looking at them up and down when there dress sleazy like they came from a strip joint not once I disrespect him with other men😢
I also thought if I lost some weight and got fit lifting weights and doing a lot of exercises and go on a special diet he would change and start notice me more. because I'm 5'3 and was 170 lb and now I'm down to 140 lbs still going to lose 10 more pounds to reach my goal but now I do it for me because he has not changed so I'll do it for me to make me feel better about myself 😊
About 3 years ago my family meet a man who had a position of authority. I didn't know the word narcissist at all but noted certain behaviors this man exhibited that seemed off. He would talk down to you , liked to control you and spoke about myself/my family with distane constantly. Red flags were there and I stated looking for an answer as to what was wrong with this person. Eventually I found out about narcissistic personality disorder. We are now going to court with this person and the company that he works for because of his behavior. I have had time to heal, mend my soul and be prepared to see him in court. Narcissist are soul sucker's that when called out will run for cover, draw out legal procedures and not respond to requests for documents from our lawyer. I am very much looking forward to having closure with this legal matter and seeing him held accountable.
Indeed, the narcissist husband he did everything to trap you and see how you get out of the trap, that's another way of abuses. We don't even treat a pet in this way, the narc is inhumanity. The narcissist husband will arrange marriage mediator for the consultation purpose, and he will miss that appointment, implying that you are the only person needs that consultation not him. He is all perfect, it's your problem, you are the problem and you need to be fixed. Thanks to God, I got out of that marriage many years ago. With God's mighty power, I still see the picture it was God pulling me out of the chaos with His mighty hand. That was a miracle, and miracle is totally unconditional. Remember this, you don't need to be right or good to receive the miracle from God. Just ask God, and He will rescue you. 30 years later now, I have never looked back to that narcissistic lunatic for even one time.
Most people do not realize how horrifying a narcissistic relationship can be.
"They need hosts because they are parasites." Andrew (NarcDaily)
So true. 🎯
If you are here.. you know enough = get the hell out ASAP. Come back here tomorrow for a daily pep talk...YOU GOT THIS 💪
❤
I never felt so alone in all my life. I reached the breaking point one too many times. I did everything. His own sister said to me how could I put up with him. I searched for all of what you mentioned here. I couldn’t believe I realized he was abusive. I never really felt loved by him. I thought I was crazy.
I typed in ‘why does my spouse compete with me?’. BAM! Narcissist. They do love imagining you feel trapped. Boosts that tiny fragile ego. Pea brain is right.
Now imagine having to grow up with that same dynamic except the one competing with you for affection is your pathological father. I honestly believe a malignant narcissist is a demon inhabiting the body. Because when you look into his background, it's quite bizarre. His father was a coroner at Guantanamo Bay in the navy, and from there, a casket sales man to a funeral home director. His parents were extremely desensitized and narcissistic, and I believe cursed for partaking in that abnormal act of embalming. The reason why I bring all this up is because he told me a story about his experience with the white Buffalo calf woman which I didn't know was a thing until I asked someone from a local tribe about his experience and they basically told me it was a native succubus that was trying to kill him because it knew he was going to be abusive to his family.
You’re only mommy supply so he can control punish & reject mother from whom he never separated @ 2
@@caroleminke6116or she…the women does the same with mother figure.
Your message speaks what the boyfriend/husband relationship has been nearly 45 years...
Lol
Drama free, Trauma free, Narcissist free! ❤
😌😌🙏
Anyone who's just starting on the road of learning what the hell happened to your life, go back and watch many of Andrew's videos. There's a great wisdom in his words. Dude must have walked thru hell to have acquired it. This channel has definitely helped me gain clarity and answer 12 years of questions and frustrations...
Thank you for sharing..😌😌💜🙏
Typical day - the monster say's, "I'm going to Target to pick up a prescription." Target is five minutes away. Six hours later, after not responding to phone calls or texts, the world's biggest philanderer comes home. If I had a dollar for every time....
@moonage-tm5bxwhat a huge bag of shit I’m sorry you had to endure it
Just know we need to stand up to abuse!
I am now realizing that all 3 major relationships in my life were with narcissists who each presented slightly differently. Two I had to leave, they weren’t ever going to leave physically but continued to abandon me and at times completely ignore me. I’ve never felt so alone. The key that ties them all together is the complete lack of empathy and being completely self-centered. My needs and preferences didn’t matter.
As a young adult, I would always drive 3 hours to visit my narc mom on holidays. (She would always guilt trip me that I don't visit enough, while she NEVER visited me.) Before leaving for the trip, I would call her to ensure she would be home when I arrived, but she would always play games to make me arrive and WAIT for her to arrive. I was to just sit in her empty house until she got home because she had things to do and wasn't going to commit to a time to be home for me.
Then, she would always have a guest of honor for dinner. Our family served as supporting pawns around the dinner table while she schmoozed this guest. I finally stopped visiting her on holidays because I was sick of making the long trip just to be treated poorly (as the invisible child). Now, that I understand narcissism, it all makes sense. Thanks for the videos.
@@mindfulmaximalism Frighteningly familiar. They do like to make you wait and make a grand entrance. I showed up to empty house many times. They also like to brag you’re coming to visit though but there is no visit really.
The constant waiting for my mother drove me nearly insane. I have had the exact experience as you. She would insist i arrive earlier than was comfortable for me to help with cooking ,setting the table etc. Then she would be late. Then the dinner table conversation would revolve around her and her endless stories and memories. Most of her stories were about her unhappy marriage to my father even 30 years after they separated. The whole family would have to sit and listen endlessly. Then we would clean up and what was intended to be a simple family meal would be a 4 or 5 hour marathon that would take me days to recover from.
I figured it out , broke up for a year, took her back and 4 more years of the full menu. Ended it again nearly 4 years ago but fell for a Hoover 6 weeks ago. Saw her once and I’m still reeling from it. Do not break no contact !
When you're in the relationship you don't realize that you are in a trap.
You're used to the daily madness and chaos it seems normal.
As heart and mind understood this, I left. I am so grateful that I made it.
Thank you Andrew, ....yes never give up !!🍃❤🍃
it became the normal for me not knowing what person i would meet when i went to her house as luckily we never lived together getting the silent treatment for going swimming or running or the gym convincing me i had mental health issues like adhd ticks tourettes mild autism i started not knowing myself anymore until 1 day i snapped after an evening out her poor behaviour i could take no longer i walked away for good saw the mask slip before my very eyes october 15th 2023 liberation day am living my best life holidays being with friends at peace with the world its a great place to be
@user-kh4nw8qm4p glad you're out of it!🙌🎉
@@PaulKelly-r5sglad you're out of it!🙌🎉
❤
I was brought up by narcs so a narc hub felt normal! OMG. So grateful to be out of that sh*t.❣️
😌😌💜
Exactly that Andrew!! I had that feeling sat next to him, I have never felt more alone and disregarded as a human being.... NEVER. The anxiety started to build as I was trying and trying to please him and care for him. I felt like I was in a parallel universe 😢. I wish I'd shortened the relationship months earlier when the first red flag appeared and slapped me in the face. He thought he was entitled, a petulant child who could have what he wanted when he wanted. Delusional. I'm relieved, my health has returned and I'm content.... just thankful because he could have caused so much more damage....he is dangerous. 😔
Same Julie ….so glad you are out and rebuilding your life… your happiness! You deserve it & I hope you have a very blessed day & wknd. God bless you 🙏🏻💝🕊️
@@SLLiberty23 Kind thoughtful words 💜You too... enjoy your weekend 🙏
@@SLLiberty23 Beautiful kind words 💜 Have a restful weekend 🙏
I feel it is because they are power motivated under the guise of love, just like when they give a gift, they expect something in return. They know that premium supply has a sense of duty and obligation. They will stack up "the debt" with them till you are overwhelmed and at wits end. BPD, avoidants and a few other folks that would benefit from seeing a shrink can NEVER do that, because they know that the shrink will see through their sales pitch and destroy that illusion like hot water on an icecube. The hardest patient to treat IS the narcissist/BPD. Horrible, but infallible people, also ungrateful to a fault. Thank you sir for giving this platform for me and others to vent and to learn of these critters, it really helps, you are so appreciated!
"The endless to-do list" is a good way to put it- for the unpaid helper. I know that those who have no option to misuse their freedom are not truly free, but these people take that misuse to another level, and don't want YOU to be free.
@@michaeltape8282 Yes. no autonomy. I go outside to sweep (freedom, lol) and when I come in, I am met with panic face and a side-eye to the clock. W-T-F. It surely is nuts to be them, who lives like this, lording over another person’s movements.
@@sanddune3804 OMG, really? Currently? I realize that not all situations are identical, but you need to make some serious plans to escape. It is so liberating, and the only thing that will really get the narcs attention. My experience is you can't deal with this using conversation. Futile. If you can, get out, soon. I hope things work out for you.
michaeltape8282
So agree with you…don’t waste your time in any further discussions with the narc…they have shown who they are, take action for yourself and safely leave/go no contact as soon as possible.
Trapped because they guilt trip you. They make you feel sorry for them. Moreover, you probably felt insecure (because they made you feel that way through triangulation)
It’s a whole load of fake s**T show - Thank you Andrew. Another quality video ❤️🌷
So true 💯 my stomach used to churn when my ex narcs key would turn in the front door.
Geeze Andrew, you are describing my marriage exactly. Dragging out the divorce, draining my finances. What a nightmare. It is a trap from the first date to the end of the marriage. It's just been a game for my narcissistic husband. They enjoy recking havoc, ruining your life and watching you suffer. It's an evil scheme.
Experiencing the same...divorcing the narc is so difficult..he wants to leave me woth nothing...if he could take the teeth out of my head he would..x
Children of darkness causing destruction what they love to do
Don't stay longer. Get out ASAP. Love and respect yourself.❣️
Lots of encouragement and love sent out to you all,❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
❤😊
You too!💗
You as well flowerpower
🌸💜✨💖✨☀️✨
Right back at you Flower 🌸 🥂🕊️♥️🙏🏻
Thank you for picking me up off the floor! You have helped me more than you will ever know. Everything you have said matched my abuse. You showed me the way out. Im not looking back ever. Thank you again.
Welcome..😌🙏💜
After she left I checked my phone records and there were 9280 text messages between her and her new appliance.
Yep, it feels like you are energetically trapped until you understand that these parasites exist and the games they play!
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Peace and love to everyone here and of course to you as well, Andrew. Namaste
Namaste..😌🙏🙌
✌❤
This is so true my sister throughout the course of her life would say something like "well not according to my book", and then just make up the rules as she went along and would pull that type of nonsense when she wanted something from any one of the family members...now she's just an aging narcissist.
All holy Hell broke loose when I dumped him. I was in the relationship longer than I should have been but I was being held prisoner in my own home. I once loved him and I saved his life and now I feel nothing but hate and regret.
Andrew, everything you've said about the narcissist is what I've experienced.
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I went to a therapist i thought she would help me and she lowkey blamed me for my health issue. I felt horrible and i cancelled all future appointments. I felt like i just got abused again. Thank God im more educated now and i dont stick around abuse anymore. I see the red flags and im out.
Call them counselors. Why the hell were they called therapists anyway? That's fishy. They counsel or they don't. I advise against that racket. I am surprised Andrew continues to use that word. With no forewarning.
@@gnyc7284 she has a degree from this place that is not fully accredited where i live so maybe that plays a part in it or maybe she is just a fraud
I think the repetitive nature in your videos, really help drill and solidify the urgency and information you’re providing. thank you so much
"Not trapped any longer"...soothing my ears and soul. Trapped and trauma bonded. A fata morgana that never actually existed. Thank you, Andrew. All your content is enlightening, helpful and encouraging for all of us hurt, abused and discarded.
Welcome..🙏💜😌🙌
Thanks Andrew you are one who loves to guide others to freedom and forgiveness for ourselves that I have found in these eye opening videos again, thank you so much and God bless your msg...
Welcome..💜🙏😌☀️
I AM FREE!!!!👏....AND IT FEELS SO AWESOME!!!!
Hold on ,therse s hope, i m 7 months recovering a long dark road... and ever new spark...is speaking brighter...and the light that was stolen...like a springtime sunrise ,has risen anew ,thank you Andrew,thanks man,keep the faith y all ,
A belgian.❤
Being out of a toxic marriage for a while now it is still amazing that I found this channel! I was so so lost and messed up. so much of what Andrew says over an over still teaches me. Daily I listen to him and find myself thinking of the things that controlled me an made my life hell. As I read the comments and see others at different points in their journey, I am reminded how real this is. I feel grateful you are all here and are sharing your experience! Thank you for the help you continue to give me. We are no longer alone!!
This is a very serious topic but every time you say pets planes trains I just start laughing 😂😂😂😂😂😂
😊🤭
I was trapped by his occupation of my head. Thoughts like, "why hasn't he called for 5 days?" On 19th July it will be 3 months no contact. I looked over my journal as to how i felt after 5 days. I felt numb and full of second guessing, like, "who am i to label him a narc. I am not a professional..." at the moment i think about him less. I've achieved a quiet time in my life, for healing. I dont have a mind full of chaotic thoughts. I'm giving myself the space to build up my self esteem again. Yes, it is getting better.
Andrew, your daily support has really given me the help i needed to break this cycle. Some of the things you have said have really sunk in now.
I've realised how people test you to see if you are going to be their unpaid helper. And as soon as i set boundaries for myself, i could tell by his reaction that he liked it the least.
Yes!
Wow his new supply must have a huge amount of resources. She is a very vulnerable wealthy widow. He’s been with her for over two years. I don’t envy her because I’ve already lived through what she’s experiencing now or will experience shortly.
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I pray for her 🙏
My ex narc was always on the lookout for another woman that perhaps had more money and could be a better option for him. He once said to me, "you have some money but you don't have throw away money". Listen to what they say. Believe them. In the end he did find a widow with some resources but when he needed her money the most, to pay his hospital deposit in advance, she refused. He died that night. (I had blocked him by that time) one of his flying monkeys (my cousin) said, "how can you just cancel a friendship?" I said, "but he has a new girlfriend...." I then had to block her too.
Still trapped things fell through one more month one more time andrew I'm losing it ...thanks for being here you make me sane
I just stay in toxic relationship during one year, we got married I relocated and things has gotten worse and worse. That was my fault, I ignored all of red flags in the beginning I didn’t know nothings about narcissistic people before been through it. I always felt bad about the way she treated her parents, I wondered when I would be the next one, it doesn’t take long time and stared devaluation and criticisms . She wanted Control everything and everyone should serve her needs! When I realized I was depressed with low self esteem and completely exhausted to deal with her chronic unsatisfied feelings. I haven’t an exit plan at all, so I just decided to go away and retake my life. Thank god we don’t have kids, I still healing but things definitely has gotten better.
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My heart goes out to anyone watching this who has suffered at the hands of a narcissist. I have just got out of a twenty year relationship with my sister-in-law who I realised a few weeks ago is a narcissist. She tried to disrupt my happinesd and compete with me and as Andrew always says, the narcissist "always overplays their hand". And this is exactly what she did. And the mask fell, spectacularly. Andrew, you buoy us up every day. In your own words, you are beautiful, bright, shining light! ❤
I am so TRAPPED...no money, no friends, no family, no job...
Reach out to the closest church. They may have a family or someone you can stay with. Have them help you make an Exit plan.
Prayers for you that you have come up with some kind of resources to exit the abuse of narcissism.
Trapped chasing a personal want. All you find is a mirage for as long as you want to fool yourself. In hindsight, now with narc armor, all the signs were there from day one. At least in my case. Got caught at a bad time. When in vulnerability, which you also know now how to recognize, make no relationship attempts. Want total relief ? Make no relationship attempts. The relief is like no other. Done.
Thank you for sharing..🙌🙏💜😌
"---- A mirage for as long as you want to fool yourself."
I like that! Will help to remember when I start to get sentimental.
Don't lose hope in humanity. If you're an empath that automatically renders you vulnerable. There are authentic people out there... finding them is a little more difficult 🤷 I hope you're healing and wish you well 🙂🙏
@JulieShah-in7zz A very nice reply. No havnt lost all hope in humanity. The bad are just far more arrogant and exploitative with loud voices. But no automatic assumptions. Looks can deceive with as in external appearances. The more external validation is seen, the more I would question it. Point is awareness. Never getting blindsided by one's own naivete. As least you try. Appreciate the good thoughts and be well in all you do ! 🤜🤛
they want you trapped so that they are your only person to lean on. Mine was ruthless, thankfully WAS
Amazing video..too many examples I can relate to..he had me trapped and under his control.. I relish my freedom now.. Thank you for the message and have a great evening!
Welcome..💜🙏😌
Everything was and is punitive and conditional! I believed it was all my fault and my people pleaser self and taking over responsibility created a cycle that I barely got out of after 33 years! Thank you Andrew & Community for the LOVE 💗
ALL TRAPS begin in the human mind. And the mind with the problem doesn't have the solution. Therefore, we must be willing to break the wall of our "perception" of how things "should be". "We are learning" is the best quote of this video. Open your mind, let go your fear of the 'outside view" or what is "different" and grow and heal before life is spent and gone. Time has no merci nor it waits for anyone. In order to heal, four actions are key, Self-honesty, courage, acceptance and detachment. Blessings!
Thank you for clearly expressing your wisdom in this comment lourdesecheverria6209
Bless you
100% 💜🙏🏻☀️
@@BeTheLight624 ❤❤ Sending love and positive energy your way!
So true! Every time I was onto him, he would make the endless to-do list longer 😂
Pea brain is my favorite 😊🥳
Tiny little pea brain always makes me laugh 😅
You and Dr. Les saved me. You would have been pleased to see how you taught me to repell a major league hover and double tag team flying monkeys that were both in person and written coordinated.... They flew right into a smiling happy grey rock ...splat. 💥 THANKS Andrew, I feel good. Life is rapidly returning to good. 🥳
❤2u ALL
Yes I used to deal with them when I finally spoke about what's happening taking the opportunity then I saw it's true they really do all that no contact feels best it's most unpleasant feeling being trapped with them they're all same, that parent, siblings, friend, ex companions thank you great video 😊
Great video Andrew!!
When i started the healing path, i took up running.
The first song on my playlist was Trapped by Bruce Springsteen.
It tells the story, but it also lit the fires for me and got me moving forward.
If you are trapped find something to get you moving again, dont think too much just start walking, things will start processing. Waiting to move keeps you stuck in the past and ruminating. Keep moving forward.
Wishing everyone clarity and peace
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Thank you for sharing..💜🙏💯😊
Excellent Chaz...very helpful 👍💥
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Yea Chaz!👍🏃♂🎸🎶
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 😊
@@marieeakin8534 😊
every day was a storm walking in a mine field. When I found out what a narcissist was I waited till she was telling me that I should leave, and I called her a Narcissist. It was like the Tsar Bomba.
I googled "girlfriend thinks I cheated on her while I didn't" and open went Pandora"s box lol
💡💡💯😉
Now I understand why I always lived in fear feeling terrified and still do ever though my mother, (a true narcissist) is dead and my sister is completely blocked. 😞
They went to Great lengths to take my Independence & make me dependent in many ways.🐛🦋🐛🦋
This is the way it was. WAS!! ❤
Ha! Past tense. Was!!
Yes I did reach my breaking point. It is over and I feel great.
Everything mentioned here is 100%true. Narc is gone. Bye Bye.
My ex- narcissistic spouse used to conveniently bring up Bible teaching to keep me trapped. Wives submit to their husband, don’t judge another, always forgive and finally God hates divorce. These all gave him a free pass in his eyes or I wasn’t a “ good Christian”. I finally realized that God was my Father and He loved me and wouldn’t want His daughter being hurt for decades.
So true dear xx your words are freeing 🙏🏻🕊🌟🌸🪴🌺 sadly some Christian men use these verses inappropriately- hope you can find the true meaning from ABBA Father.
“It is for freedom that Christ set you free. . . . “ wisdom and protection to you xx blessings in Jesus xx
Thank you andrew ❤
I'm so thankful I'm out
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Saws every video of you this week still hurting over it the loss of her I hope it gets better whit time.
no freedom loss of control
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True❤ really true thank you Andrew
Welcome..😌💜🙏
It's like the whole world can change but you always have to be there AND stay the same ! They have to be more important than almost ANYTHING else , if you don't contact them within even a short time they need a reason , and you find yourself making excuses to avoid conflict ! If you do things without them they are confused why you didn't tell them , and WOE BETIDE you if you should ever have fun or enjoy yourself without them ! If you try to tell them how you had a great time they always have to pull it apart , then mock and ridicule it !! The very idea of you enjoying yourself without them really erks them to their very core ! Basically they think that you live your whole life AT THEIR PERMISSION !!! 🤨That is a narcissist ! 🙏❤️😎
Thank you for sharing this. It sums up everything I feel. I have just started the divorce, and what you said rings so true to everything that has happened to me, and I guess what I still have to go through. I am so sorry that you suffered this too and thank you for telling us as I am sure there are many of us that are somewhere along the path you have trodden and felt so alone. Your strength in sharing gives me strength not to give up not my narcissists demands
Love the rain.
♥
Great work Andrew
I see your little buddy paid a visit. 🐝💛✨️
🐝🤭
Could I have done something more ?? Trust me, no. I gave 25 years of *more* - only to have more pain, more loneliness, more abuse to me & children, more health problems & financial loss. Pain. Divorce is laborious as Andrew said - dragged out, vicious games you won’t imagine.
God, I prayed, please help me out of this. So we escaped. Not trapped anymore - there’s life, there’s love …,there’s hope and freedom .. on the other side. Thank you Andrew 🙏🏻👣⛰️❤🕊️
❤ Hi and thank you! I wish I could put together a clip of clips of yours bc no matter how, background noise sneaks in, like, every one lol 😅 it's cute, tho, cuz you are so un-bothered 😂 each new video it still happens. Much hugs to you and the pups, from me and my pup!
Thank you..😊💜🐶
Again Andrew, it's like you were there, and then flew a drone over the area to let someone like me see the bigger picture. Thanks as always for the reminders about everything i can do and become going forward. It's so appreciated & your channel continues to be part of my daily practice to be my best self. I am free and sending you care and light as always 🎉
Welcome..💜🙏🙌
I am reaching the pinnacle of indifference after 7 years of marriage and three young children. Kids are still too young to not have a mother in the home but I am working on an exit strategy. I really appreciate what you're doing, here.
Even if you are not in a relationshit these demons can still cause chaos in your life. I have an unbelievable situation with my neighbor who threatened me severely right in front of a sheriff ( for 30 minutes) what did I do? I knocked on his window to tell him to stop running over my shrubs. I'm talking to lawyers trying to get him charged. It's unbelievable.
The problem is I am trapped within myself. I've been isolating for many times many years, my personality is brittle and impatience. It seems I an unhappy person by nature and I contact the wrong people to download my bitter experiences and it is not their responsibility because I don't have friends. I give people the shits they run a mile, I'm embarrassed, I'm 63, I'm grim because the only time is giving to others I feel ok but I throw myself at them practically giving my whole self away!
Damn dude you are a good talker lol
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keeping you trapped is keeping you engaged....and this is what they need, your engagement for continued supply.
My ex thought by getting me pregnant that was gonna TRAP me.... After 8yrs of being in that BS.
NOPE made me leave quicker than I thought being a new mom
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Same for me! I didn't care enough about my own safety to leave the relationship. But once I had my baby to protect, those rose glasses and denial went away really fast. Glad you are safe ❤
Hope no one skipped out after you said something like “that’s the video “, at the 22 minute mark you shared really important great info 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 Thank you
The narc wanted to trap me as she has her enabler/flying monkey husband and others. When she was discarding me she was working on her next target and she set me up so she could blame and shame her. It was pay back for both of us. She is doing her very best to separate her husband from absolutely everyone. She really is vile.
💚💚💚🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽Trying to get to where I want to be. Never gave up. Becoming empowered. Moving forward. Boundaries.
You become cognitive desonate. Fuks with the natural chemical functions. Distorted and unable to make basic decisions or choices cuz your not all there.
Love to all that healing from this horrible journey.
Take every chance and be gentle with yourself. Be kind and knowledgeable you are lived.
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Yes Cognitive dissonance for so long! Trying to forgive myself and heal! ❤
He has always kept me in the dark on all levels...what is it like to have love, attention, and compassion.
So right on.
My narc relationships always ended up with the narc stalking me. Even 35 years later, the narc professed his undying love for me. I have a child with him; otherwise, he wouldn't be in my life. After I left this narcissist, I entered another narc relationship. In both these relationships, the narc desperately tried to get me back. This seems so weird to me that someone so stuck on themselves would become so desperate to get me back, first by threatening methods that over time lessened to pure whining and begging. Were they trying to play on my heart strings? To make me feel sorry for them? How does this "fit" into narcissistic personality? It seems to me that they are giving all the power to me. Over the decades I did get so strong that I wouldn't even give them a micro inch to get into my realm.
Andrew is the best!!!!! ❤❤❤
I typed what kind of a person acts like this. OMG it was opening a Pandora's box. My ex is a text book narcissist.
Good morning 🌞🌞🌞
I typed ' why my boyfriend promises to do things together, and disappears for two weeks on the planned day, then reappears saying he was feeling unwell' ...5 years 😅
Thank you 😊 🙏
Thank you, I hear you. Oh, the price has been beyond pain.
Great message Andrew
Thank you..🙏💜😌
Thanks Andrew.
Am on the verge and so close to giving up right now
Kudos to our friend's narcissistic ex who emotionally abused her at the casino 😮 It reached a point where none of her friends want her to show up at the casino because no one wants to see her pesky ex!😝
Very comforting message I needed today. Thank you, Andrew. Namaste
My narcissist boyfriend at times disrespects me and embarrass me and make me look like I'm not good enough he's 55 years old he gos looking at younger girls 15 to 20 some years old and I'm sure he knows how much that hurts me and embarrass me one day I'm going to yell out let's go Chester pretty sad he walks away with a big smile on his face like he's proud of it looking at them up and down when there dress sleazy like they came from a strip joint not once I disrespect him with other men😢
I also thought if I lost some weight and got fit lifting weights and doing a lot of exercises and go on a special diet he would change and start notice me more. because I'm 5'3 and was 170 lb and now I'm down to 140 lbs still going to lose 10 more pounds to reach my goal but now I do it for me because he has not changed so I'll do it for me to make me feel better about myself 😊
About 3 years ago my family meet a man who had a position of authority. I didn't know the word narcissist at all but noted certain behaviors this man exhibited that seemed off. He would talk down to you , liked to control you and spoke about myself/my family with distane constantly. Red flags were there and I stated looking for an answer as to what was wrong with this person. Eventually I found out about narcissistic personality disorder. We are now going to court with this person and the company that he works for because of his behavior. I have had time to heal, mend my soul and be prepared to see him in court. Narcissist are soul sucker's that when called out will run for cover, draw out legal procedures and not respond to requests for documents from our lawyer. I am very much looking forward to having closure with this legal matter and seeing him held accountable.
Thank you for your videos... you gave us healing ❤ you are blessed 🙌 😇
Indeed, the narcissist husband he did everything to trap you and see how you get out of the trap, that's another way of abuses. We don't even treat a pet in this way, the narc is inhumanity. The narcissist husband will arrange marriage mediator for the consultation purpose, and he will miss that appointment, implying that you are the only person needs that consultation not him. He is all perfect, it's your problem, you are the problem and you need to be fixed. Thanks to God, I got out of that marriage many years ago. With God's mighty power, I still see the picture it was God pulling me out of the chaos with His mighty hand. That was a miracle, and miracle is totally unconditional. Remember this, you don't need to be right or good to receive the miracle from God. Just ask God, and He will rescue you. 30 years later now, I have never looked back to that narcissistic lunatic for even one time.
Amen ✝️🙏🏻🕊️💜
Thank you Andrew 🙏