I saw a therapist, i wanted to pay as we agreed and she said 'you don't have to pay me anything, just show up' and for 8 months she listened and i was allowed to get a lot. I'm so grateful to her for everything she did for me. Therapy was incredible :)
Wow. I can't afford therapy. I tried better help but the person that I was set up with said my needs/damage were so complex she couldn't help me, after 1 meeting😔
@@laurad1487 that just means they weren’t the right therapist for you. It’s not a one-size-fits-all situation. Finding a great therapist who you can build a rapport with can be difficult, but it’s worth persisting.
For me the pandemic felt like finally the World understood what I went through. Living through something like the pandemic was my normal. The world falling a part was my normal. Seeing it on a large scale made it feel as thought I had solidarity finally. I had been living in my own life surrounded by fear and uncertainty for so long.
Fellow CPTSD sufferer here and I wanted to give some clearity to a particular symptom that many suffer from: feeling of impending doom / catastrophic thinking. The reason this fear never goes away is because it is NOT a fear but a fantasy that our conscience mind cant handle yet. The fear of loosing everything (current job, relationship, etc.) is actually the fantasy of giving up on "proving your lovability" to the world. However in families and capitalistic societies that demand performance and work for everything that we receive. We are taught that recieving things for free is theft or an inferior product to what we would get by working hard for it. Our conscience mind simply cannot handle the guilt of being lovable as we are so it suppresses it and whatever our minds suppress will haunt us. We fear that if we do lose everything that we have currently worked for that we wont get another chance to try again. But deep down we dont want to "try again": we want to give up. If you want to learn what your unconscious desires are: look at your fears.
As a person with ADHD, asd, and cptsd, I find I’m at my best during a crisis. I’m prepared because I have spent a lifetime surviving and worrying about every possible bad outcome. When my partner was diagnosed with terminal cancer , I became the best nurse imaginable. Then after she passed I totally collapsed. I handle every emergency well and then freak out later. Usually panic attacks.
I only feel alive when there is something extraordinary going on. When stuff like covid began, dude, i was BREATHING again. Sounds very weird to say, but it's just how it is
I cried during this video. CPTSD can be incapacitating. Thank you so much for sharing, both of you. I completely agree that the psychological industry is deeply broken and our best future centers community-based healing. I’ve never deeply considered how over-working is a method of disassociation. I was a high-performer - top grades, never chose a job that was easy for me, won awards, hyper-involved. Then, the pandemic. Add a bunch of major life changes, and I not only did I have to stop over-functioning, I could barely function at all. That’s when I discovered I have CPTSD. It’s been a very slow, painful road so far.
@@lisamartin6317 I think so! It’s such a layered emotion. Feeling the scars and bruised places inside of us, but also feeling the balm of understanding. 💔❤💔❤
Small Compilation: CPTSD - “I don’t want to hurt people”. I had to navigate relationships. Sometimes I thought how good was not to live in constant fear. The triggers were like being the Hulk. You can use the Hulk for the good. Important to see the positive of the Hulk. The CPTSD allowed me to hold a complex job with pressure. Healing from PTSD made me learn to put boundaries at the right place to people not wanting to heal from their PSTD.
I feel like my CPTSD was made more complex from relationships even after I left home as an adult. I'm in my late 60s, so trying to share with my adult children who have also been affected by this, each in their own way, is very challenging. Self-care is so important, as is letting go. I loved this podcast, am still listening to the audiobook, will need to re-read a few times.
THANK YOU! You totally need other people to love you before you can learn to love yourself. I agree, that is how it works! It’s not an independent process.
I have looked for over a year for help with my (C)PTSD and have yet to come across the 'You don't have to pay me anything' therapist or program. I can't even begin to know what Recovery feels like. In my experience, 'No money, no help.'
@@TeddieBuddhaBearinforming yourself and having a therapist is not comparable. It helps, but to really heal i think it is essential to have someone actively mirroring/validating you and your personal experience
Tim Fletcher is great. Try getting info about mindfulness, Yoga Nidra guided meditations, maybe EMDR or even the book by Pete Walker can help "From surviving to thriving". It's very useful. Michelle Nieves and other coaches base their programs in that book. Polivagal theory and trauma release exercises...❤
I'm doing my own therapy, and am self-diagnosed with CPTSD. Sometimes, I feel almost psychic with how well I can know a person in an instant. It's made me feel stupid for believing in super powers, but today I kinda want those stupid powers back. It's a little rough realizing you can predict behavior so incredibly accurately, because your tiny life depended on it. I don't remember my trauma, so I usually pretend it didn't happen. I wonder now if it was truly horrific or just my narrow interpretation of it. Either way, it's undeniable now. Thank you for this opportunity to learn and grow. I'm very appreciative of your hard work.
Hands down the best interview I have seen on cptsd, I especially liked the bit where she talked about th advantages of having cptsd, it's the first time I have really understood why I enjoy multitasking, it's because I have this space in my head that accommodates that level of engagement
Hello Forrest, this is the first time I visit your channel and it won’t be my last. Your voice is soothing and calm, your questions are engaging, and you connect with your guests with warmth and compassion. I just finished reading Stephanie’s book and that’s what brought me here. Great interview! Thank you.
Appreciate her sharing openly. Something that sounded familiar to me, though I don't have PTSD (that I know of) is navigating covid extreemely well ... lol i would bet if we took a survey of everybody who was "surprisingly" coping really well, and checked how many were also introverts, we'd see some overlap 😅😅😅. In her case, she identifies her coping as being due to disassotiation so I believe her, but for me it is a reminder of at least one upside to a traumatic global event. We were way overdue for things to swing our way ❤
Once again AMAZING! Hearing Stephanie's personal experience and discussing accessibility, her specific langauging around CBTs limitations (reflect my own experience with it) and cultural approaches is so meaningful. I'm passionate about nature therapy and bottom up approaches. I'm a SME (cheers to CPTSD & ASD) in intergenerational trauma with no qualifications, but through constant observation, research, authentic vulnerable conversations, and deep growth I'm able to share with others sensitively and crack open doors to others. Growing and sharing my permaculture produce with my local community has been a deeply enriching pathway to meeting people, creating a new tribe and tentatively sharing concepts and resources. This therapeutic relational process has been healing for me and others. I'm not a therapist but I'm helping myself by helping others, in providing a nature focused space for 'what happened to you conversations.' Love, vulnerability and authenticity for the win!!
So hard to find treatment in the uk the only why I could suppress it was medication but I can’t heal and it is all in the body it’s like your skin is ripped inside out it stole my youth.
Can you help with the John Hopkins experiment I seen the doc series and I would give anything for the treatment. Northern Ireland has so my traumatised people, in addiction and suicide rates but I’m well versed it all of this but in a waits torn society it survival mode regardless of peace now 🫶🏻 47:34
I've been on a journey of healing and integration after realizing my diagnosed PTSD, is CPTSD. When I first was diagnosed, CPTSD wasn't something that came up - but the trauma that I've lived through was ongoing from childhood. So, thank you for this episode, and keep up the great work Forrest!
Stephanie, I relate so much to what you are saying about people saying you're brave. I shared some of my CPTSD with my recovery group recently (much smaller scale of vulnerability) and got that same feedback). I thought about it later. I think surviving and working to heal from CPTSD is just something that I did to improve my otherwise compromised brain, nervous sytem, soul and therefore life, Getting through that wasn't a choice if I wanted to have any chance of thriving. Talking about it afterwards isn't hard. I do avoid it often because I can feel people shut down or pull away from the rawness of it and that feels bad. I look forward to hearing this whole podcast. Back to tuning in! I just wanted to share that element. Peace!
Dear Forrest, I want to thank you for asking all the right questions, I truly feel enlightened after this interview and finally recognized, acknowledged, seen and validated, all through the questions that you have asked. And Stephanie, listening to you in this interview and the one with Dr. Ramani helped more than tens of hours I have spent listening to so many other CPTSD experts and survivors, not to mention the work with the therapists in my country where the mental care is so poor. I can't be more grateful to both of you and Dr. Ramani. This was a breakthrough for me.
Thank you so much for this podcast. I bought Stephanie's book when it came out but I haven't been able to read books since I started therapy 3 years ago for complex PTSD. I am so grateful for my somatic therapist who has been holding my hand all this time. I find one of the most painful and difficult aspects of having C-PTSD is it feels impossible to explain to other people, especially family members, what this journey is like for me. Now I can send them this interview, and if they are willing to listen, maybe they will understand.
This was incredible I'm going to be reading Foo's book. I have never felt so seen. I shared the same struggle trying to get help. CBT did not work for me, and only made me feel worse. When I tried to explain things like generational curses aka multigenerational trauma my therspist a white female did her best, but somehow left me feeling worse for having mentioned it. Even the incredible hulk metaphor is one I frequently use 😅. The disassociation during covid, not receiving unconditional love and having to do x y,z to receive anything at all, psychedelics helping, it's like you read my diary. Incredible!🤯Thank you both very much❤this has been very enlightening.
I have C-ptsd and I recognized my own experiences in her healing trajectory. I liked this episode for so many reasons. One is that I feel like it took away some rigidities for me, e.g., it has never occurred to me that I can ask for the other person to give me feedback in a way that is more tolerable for me than how it is usually done. I have always felt that to become ‘normal’ I simply have to learn not to overreact if someone criticizes me. This is such a pain point for me because it is usually in these situations that my relationships are abruptly aborted by me. Maybe I am not allowed to feel like this but it makes me sad and angry that other people get so impatient and angry with, are for reacting this way, for being sensitive to their crucial. It seems it never occurs to anyone that there might be a reason I react this way. It seems so self-righteous to me the way people always dismiss and criticize me when I react this way, instead of being perhaps curious and kind. Up until now, I don’t think I have ever been able to say or do anything protective of myself, instead, I have felt incredible shame and a sense of being forced to agree to being ‘wrong’ and to try to make myself make amends for my childish behavior. I felt like I must be in the wrong but at the same time feeling so confused with all the hurt and fear inside. Often, nearly always, there is a moment of coldness and steely presence abs I am flooded with a terrible, lonely feeling, and then a conviction that the relationship can’t continue e. But now I feel like next time I’d want to be able to articulate something of what I am trying to convey here. Also, it makes sense to me that we need to have people who love us before we can love ourselves. I have begun to heal myself, without the help of a professional. This had transpired over several years. I truly feel that at the heart of it, at the heart of how painful, slow, and frustrating the situation is (and also at times beautiful), in a sense its cause, is that I have no people in my life, that there is this immensely shame-inducing and activating lack of connection and feeling attuned with. It’s like there is this constant low-grade stressor inside me, like a low, humming noise. And yet it also makes sense that it is necessary to love ourselves before we can genuinely receive love from others, and love them. I do feel like I need to create my own ‘safe home’ within myself before I expect myself to be able to successfully navigate relationships-because this is what will enable me to connect healthily and deeply; otherwise, I remain too boundary-less and too easily overwhelmed by others; I will be too afraid. This episode also made me wonder about EIS, bipolarity, and disorganized attachment, and how these diagnoses overlap.
Fantastic interview with great content. Cultivating and maintaining great relationships is so important. Especially the 2 way repair (reciprocity). Stephanie’s vulnerability is so welcome- thank you ❤
"you have to love yourself" _enough_, to accept kindness, love, affection, nurturing, and care from others with grace. If we deflect compliments, nurturing, and care, then we can't be surprised when people stop giving to a black hole of self-loathing
I trusted all.the wrong Doctors..these Podcasts are SO VALUABLE to me. I go back to them and listen to them again. I rewind a lot, so I don't miss something. This is very important to me. It will determine just HOW my remaining years will FEEL.
Wow, this resonates with me on so many levels. My parents are survivors of the Khmer rouge and fled to the US. I'm also 36 and only been recently exposed to childhood neglect studies and cptsd. Such a crazy journey, thanks for sharing.
I also have cptad. Irene Lyon’s work, ( Peter Levine) has been sooo helpful for me. But I don’t think she needs to feel she was too crazy to feel social fear in releasing her story, however I can relate to just getting to a point where it doesn’t matter anymore. The drive to share and help others and find meaning. In your suffering overrides any social fear of judgement because what you’ve been through is Soo much worse than any social judgment on your truth. Also, there is a lot of secrecy in many families with cptsd patterns, and as a child I REMEBER wanting help, knowing it existed in some form, but being afraid of telling my families “secrets”, which sadly, ultimately caused me to hide my truth. There was always a deep dissonance between my family members truths and my own. Releasing the secrets can be freeing. ❤great interview, thank you for sharing this info.
I agree, I also have cptsd, and I do think it gave me more compassion and understanding for other people. Especially while listening to clients traumatic stories at the time when I worked as a peer counselor.
I resonated so much with all that was talked about in the interview….with Stephanie, with the discussion on the broken mental health system, with the difficulty in finding an affordable therapist who can actually help, and that you have trust & have a rapport with. A kind soul made me aware of Stephanie Foo & her book. The Universe brought this particular interview onto my feed, I’m so happy to discover Forrest & this channel on my healing journey. Forrest you’re a brilliant & kind human! ❤🙏
Absolutely grateful for your show and for Stephanie Foo's What My Bones Know on Complex PTSD. It's great to know that there are others out here who are in the same journey in having to seek very specific guidance support and therapeutic services. Trauma and PTSD alone are still generally seen as a temporary or not much big of deal type attitude. I've been writing about my personal experience living with the debilitating trauma complex PTSD and educating others about this as well and using it to bring awareness to family and friends alike.
I love Forrest’s pacing Repeating and moving so logically with such a big heart it seems Forrest doesn’t take his heart or his brillance for granted Very responsible care Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think it is very strange how we talk about this diagnosis as though it is like saying a person is short or allergic to peanuts as though it just is a fact of life, but trauma can be treated, and the goal of treatment is to fix the symptoms, and once the symptoms are gone you don't still have to claim to have the problem. Very closely related is the way 12 step programs treat addiction like it becomes the fact of a person. You don't have an addiction, you are an addict, and not only that, but you are an addict.... FOREVER!
So glad Stephanie talked about how hard it is to find a good trauma-informed therapist in this system 👏 Who can afford this? Who's accepting patients + also accepts your insurance or has a cheap-enough sliding scale? If you've only got medicare and/or medicaid it's a near impossibility! These treatments are super expensive + even if you find a good therapist they're full up not accepting new patients. It's so super hard out there
Yep, literally NO, ZERO, therapists take Medicare patients. They say yes accepting new patients, then the minute I'd say my mom has Medicare, oh no they couldn't hang up the phone fast enough. 😢
@@ivywildwss Have you tried Psychology Today? Put in your city or however far you want to look + check Medicare ☑ it's still super difficult to find one you like who's accepting new patients… but def worth a try - good luck 🙂
I feel you 100%. At least half of my trauma comes from getting gaslit by my parents to go to a psych ward and getting mistreated and my negative experiences were devalued and downplayed, making me feel even more broken and ashamed
omg pleeeeeez don't give up. Search Psychology Today for someone in your area or keep looking online. We've all gotta find help with someone truly qualified (who takes your insurance 😕) but keep looking
Yes have retraumatized 2 times myself by therapy, so can be scare to go back. I have a somatic therapist now , but don't fully trust her because of trauma, but time will tell.
I recently discovered that I have Complex PTSD, and it was suggested to me that I attend meetings of Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. You can read about the meetings on the internet. The attendees have experienced childhood trauma and we are there to support each other. There are workbooks and literature to read that are helpful in our healing. I've been consistently going in the past month and will continue to attend. I would recommend ACA for anyone who thinks they have Complex PTSD also called Childhood PTSD.
This was an awesome interview and I'm looking forward to listening to Stephanie's book (on my audiobooks list at the library!). I am a C-PTSD survivor and a member of the Chinese diaspora so I greatly relate to this! I think the system is built in a way to silence those who want to heal, it is not an accident. So we have to find ways outside that system to help support our communities and friends. Looking forward to continued learning and growth :)
I had a not so great childhood and also we were raised to believe that there was no such thing as illness or pain. I'm now 50 and only started doing the work maybe the last 8 years because I didn't realize there was work to be done. Surprisingly, when I learned about CPTSD I was pretty darn sure my stepfather has it because of his violent rage. But guess what? After listening to this today, I think I might have it... more work to be done. Sigh.
Yeah anyone with a stepfather like that likely has more work to be done... not to mention anyone who describes their childhood as not so great. You're only 50 years old though. I've met people in their 70s still just now realizing they have work they never did but that would've served them to do. I'm glad you are realizing this and working on yourself. And I wish you luck through the journey and process. ❤
Thanks, Forrest, you totally made me cry. CPTSD is a challenge, and it's hard to face that you are working with it (because we've been working with it all along, we just have to find ways to heal it and in the meantime roll with it better) and so it's really relieving that there's even a conversation about it now. It's nice to feel like you aren't just a broken toy
Sadly the traits that are valued in us as "positive", are the direct result of relational trauma. And leaning into those traits, as our "positive attributes, skills, talents", can lead to repeatedly exposing ourselves to acting in ways/putting up with things that are actively harming us, and can break us.
To me, EMDR had no result. I have later heard it is best with classical ptsd where certain memories is available. Not pre-verbal/pre-memory traumas (like birth trauma) and not long term emotional neglect without certain traumatic events.
I’m really happy to have come across this channel. Thanks for talking about this really important subject. I have cptsd as well and it’s a challenge. Makes long term relationships with people who don’t have much trauma quite hard. I’m blessed to have good friends in my life who help me move through it. My family is helpful too.. as much as they can. I still feel alone with it but I’ve gained some coping tools and resilience over the last few years so I’m not totally helpless and ignorant about it anymore. Thanks again and wishing you both the very best ❤
I can relate to the Hulk out being useful, in my advocacy of my daughter in her school journey. The little girl the school failed is a wonderful defender of my little girl.
Thank you, Forrest for this interview. Learned a lot. Did not know that c-PTSD also manifests as a fear of not having everything prepared and through keeping your environment safe. I also always make sure that wherever I go, it is a safe place (online or offline). Too many experiences for me were unsafe, jobs, relationships, apartments. I'll get Stephanie's book and am looking forward to reading it. Cheers.
I can totally relate to everything you said in this video. Working and volunteering was my coping skills. Then the pandemic happened and all of a sudden my brain was like whoa whoa....and i ended up struggling for more than a year before i accepted the fact that i can get therapy for myself and its ok to take care of me instead of everyone else. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, CPTSD, and ADHD. Now im on the right meds for some of those things and ove been in therapy a lil more than a year. Thanks for doing this video. Makes us feel so not alone.
Took 40+ years to finally get the same dx. It’s been hell to deal with not knowing what’s wrong with you. I have lived a life of quiet and NOT so quiet desperation.
Thank you so much for this amazing episode! It is incredibly validating to hear your experiences with unhelpful and hurtful 'help' and your triumphs in you both finding your paths to healing ❤
Hi am New to podcast I was diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder at 50 years old now almost 53 to get the counciling sorted out hopefully starting in March 2024
Thank you 🙏, I have recently started listening to you podcasts and really enjoy them as a person with cptsd who is thriving and trying to help others. Happy Spring Equinox 🍄 ❤
Thank you for this awesome episode. I will definitely get this book. It was really helpful for me to understand how she healed. And thank you, Forrest, for really focusing the conversation and bringing your own humanity and humor.
thanks. I really liked the comments about more natural and communal places being used to share healing ideas like re-regulation for trauma. Even just knowing about the various normal protective nervous system responses is really useful. And the Hulk, pop culture is suprisingly full of 'super' examples to make conversations easier (kids show A:TLA for example), and so is mythology, religion etc. Also how to hold space for and contain your own responses in your own body, as related but separate to the responses inside other's bodies, without getting feelings all entangled. How to help others feel containment so they can process stuff safely with you as a trusted person. Just understanding 'how nerves work' should be something we all talk about, like the current thing for books about understanding Feelings, but a layer deeper into bodily awareness.
Great conversation ❤As you know Health Private Insurance as well as Medicare don’t consider Mental Health a necessity!!!!especially Medicare that deals mostly with aging population of us!!Thats why therapists don’t participate in any insurances being compensated what insurances dictate !!! 1 h therapy for dramatically low reimbursement wouldn’t allow therapists to make living. Same with cosmetic dentistry. Insurances don’t care how you present your smile! , don’t reimburse for prevention!!!! Just emergences. I’m happy that mental health slowly keeps coming to the surface, more public personas keep talking about it, more medical initial paperwork include questions related to past history etc. great job guys!! Keep spreading your dialog all over the World!!
Thank you for lovely sharing ,I was been diagnosed with depression 、anxiety in Taiwan ,after all I have been diagnosed BPD in Australia NT. but I know I am CPTSD ,I am so confused why the them told me is BPD ..
"attuned divining rod" - talk about resonating (lol) I can feel/sense that *something* is "off", but I tend to get curious and ask questions so I don't make bad assumptions. It doesn't help when people are obfuscating intentions or acting in bad faith on purpose. It's like a warning signal to slow down, pay attention, and set/reinforce boundaries as necessary.
I also have a dysfunctional relationship with work, and yeah it absolutely is a problem that people are praising me for productivity and can't clock that it's actually destructive
SACMs: socially acceptable coping mechanisms is a vital concept for self exploration and recogtion of unhealed trauma because thriving or norming socioeconomically is not the measure of wellbeing. Feeling ok in our authenticity relationally is.
Hi Forest! I love your podcast! I was wondering if you can talk about adoption specifically trans racial adoption and the traumas that go with it. I am really having a hard time understanding and finding ppl talk about it
I wish I could write a book or even journal about what happened to me but I don’t even have a lot of memories. Then I get told I’m lucky that I don’t remember.
I saw a therapist, i wanted to pay as we agreed and she said 'you don't have to pay me anything, just show up' and for 8 months she listened and i was allowed to get a lot. I'm so grateful to her for everything she did for me. Therapy was incredible :)
Beautiful, I have a therapist who also has helped me when I wasn't able to work and support myself financially due to my CPTSD 🙏🏻
@@nicola1466 People like that are angels.
Add AL ANON to your self care, or ANY 12 Step program! I discovered MY TRUTH with a group of people who were also recovering from CPTSD🎉
Wow. I can't afford therapy. I tried better help but the person that I was set up with said my needs/damage were so complex she couldn't help me, after 1 meeting😔
@@laurad1487 that just means they weren’t the right therapist for you. It’s not a one-size-fits-all situation. Finding a great therapist who you can build a rapport with can be difficult, but it’s worth persisting.
For me the pandemic felt like finally the World understood what I went through. Living through something like the pandemic was my normal. The world falling a part was my normal. Seeing it on a large scale made it feel as thought I had solidarity finally. I had been living in my own life surrounded by fear and uncertainty for so long.
Same…. Well said.
wow, I feel this.
Dissociating is my coping skill. My whole life
Fellow CPTSD sufferer here and I wanted to give some clearity to a particular symptom that many suffer from: feeling of impending doom / catastrophic thinking.
The reason this fear never goes away is because it is NOT a fear but a fantasy that our conscience mind cant handle yet.
The fear of loosing everything (current job, relationship, etc.) is actually the fantasy of giving up on "proving your lovability" to the world. However in families and capitalistic societies that demand performance and work for everything that we receive. We are taught that recieving things for free is theft or an inferior product to what we would get by working hard for it.
Our conscience mind simply cannot handle the guilt of being lovable as we are so it suppresses it and whatever our minds suppress will haunt us. We fear that if we do lose everything that we have currently worked for that we wont get another chance to try again. But deep down we dont want to "try again": we want to give up.
If you want to learn what your unconscious desires are: look at your fears.
As a person with ADHD, asd, and cptsd, I find I’m at my best during a crisis. I’m prepared because I have spent a lifetime surviving and worrying about every possible bad outcome. When my partner was diagnosed with terminal cancer , I became the best nurse imaginable. Then after she passed I totally collapsed. I handle every emergency well and then freak out later. Usually panic attacks.
I only feel alive when there is something extraordinary going on. When stuff like covid began, dude, i was BREATHING again.
Sounds very weird to say, but it's just how it is
Same 😢
@@derAtzeI felt the opposite because I hated the control and felt lots of stress.
I am sorry for your loss.
I also have cptsd and adhd and i experience that too! Im calm asf perfect focus and get things done and sorted out.
I cried during this video. CPTSD can be incapacitating. Thank you so much for sharing, both of you. I completely agree that the psychological industry is deeply broken and our best future centers community-based healing.
I’ve never deeply considered how over-working is a method of disassociation. I was a high-performer - top grades, never chose a job that was easy for me, won awards, hyper-involved. Then, the pandemic. Add a bunch of major life changes, and I not only did I have to stop over-functioning, I could barely function at all. That’s when I discovered I have CPTSD. It’s been a very slow, painful road so far.
I cried throughout this video also I think it’s part sadness and part relief???
@@lisamartin6317 I think so! It’s such a layered emotion. Feeling the scars and bruised places inside of us, but also feeling the balm of understanding. 💔❤💔❤
@@emmelinesprig489 Thank you! ❤️🥹
Small Compilation:
CPTSD - “I don’t want to hurt people”. I had to navigate relationships. Sometimes
I thought how good was not to live in constant fear. The triggers were like being the Hulk.
You can use the Hulk for the good.
Important to see the positive of the Hulk.
The CPTSD allowed me to hold a complex job with pressure.
Healing from PTSD made me learn to put boundaries at the right place to people not wanting to heal from their PSTD.
Such intelligent, mature, and empathic young people! Gives me hope for humanity lol
I feel like my CPTSD was made more complex from relationships even after I left home as an adult. I'm in my late 60s, so trying to share with my adult children who have also been affected by this, each in their own way, is very challenging. Self-care is so important, as is letting go. I loved this podcast, am still listening to the audiobook, will need to re-read a few times.
THANK YOU! You totally need other people to love you before you can learn to love yourself. I agree, that is how it works! It’s not an independent process.
I have looked for over a year for help with my (C)PTSD and have yet to come across the 'You don't have to pay me anything' therapist or program. I can't even begin to know what Recovery feels like. In my experience, 'No money, no help.'
Crappy Childhood Fairy on RUclips tons of free information. 12 step ACA adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families.
@@TeddieBuddhaBearinforming yourself and having a therapist is not comparable. It helps, but to really heal i think it is essential to have someone actively mirroring/validating you and your personal experience
Tim Fletcher is great. Try getting info about mindfulness, Yoga Nidra guided meditations, maybe EMDR or even the book by Pete Walker can help "From surviving to thriving". It's very useful. Michelle Nieves and other coaches base their programs in that book.
Polivagal theory and trauma release exercises...❤
@@TeddieBuddhaBearI second that! There are a lot of free resources online and I would start with The Crappy Childhood Fairy. ❤️
I'm doing my own therapy, and am self-diagnosed with CPTSD. Sometimes, I feel almost psychic with how well I can know a person in an instant. It's made me feel stupid for believing in super powers, but today I kinda want those stupid powers back.
It's a little rough realizing you can predict behavior so incredibly accurately, because your tiny life depended on it.
I don't remember my trauma, so I usually pretend it didn't happen. I wonder now if it was truly horrific or just my narrow interpretation of it. Either way, it's undeniable now.
Thank you for this opportunity to learn and grow. I'm very appreciative of your hard work.
I am a white immigrant and my children and I have also found prejudice many times. Thank you for sharing your story it is so helpful. ❤❤
It's so hard to find a "roadmap" on what to focus on while trying to heal. This has been incredibly helpful!
Pete Walker's CPTSD Book is good. Get the workbook too.
Hands down the best interview I have seen on cptsd, I especially liked the bit where she talked about th advantages of having cptsd, it's the first time I have really understood why I enjoy multitasking, it's because I have this space in my head that accommodates that level of engagement
This is a really helpful conversation. EMDR has saved my life and yoga nidra. Thanks for the content
Thank you God for giving me wonderful therapist 😇
Hello Forrest, this is the first time I visit your channel and it won’t be my last. Your voice is soothing and calm, your questions are engaging, and you connect with your guests with warmth and compassion. I just finished reading Stephanie’s book and that’s what brought me here. Great interview! Thank you.
Appreciate her sharing openly. Something that sounded familiar to me, though I don't have PTSD (that I know of) is navigating covid extreemely well ... lol i would bet if we took a survey of everybody who was "surprisingly" coping really well, and checked how many were also introverts, we'd see some overlap 😅😅😅. In her case, she identifies her coping as being due to disassotiation so I believe her, but for me it is a reminder of at least one upside to a traumatic global event. We were way overdue for things to swing our way ❤
Once again AMAZING! Hearing Stephanie's personal experience and discussing accessibility, her specific langauging around CBTs limitations (reflect my own experience with it) and cultural approaches is so meaningful. I'm passionate about nature therapy and bottom up approaches. I'm a SME (cheers to CPTSD & ASD) in intergenerational trauma with no qualifications, but through constant observation, research, authentic vulnerable conversations, and deep growth I'm able to share with others sensitively and crack open doors to others. Growing and sharing my permaculture produce with my local community has been a deeply enriching pathway to meeting people, creating a new tribe and tentatively sharing concepts and resources. This therapeutic relational process has been healing for me and others. I'm not a therapist but I'm helping myself by helping others, in providing a nature focused space for 'what happened to you conversations.' Love, vulnerability and authenticity for the win!!
So hard to find treatment in the uk the only why I could suppress it was medication but I can’t heal and it is all in the body it’s like your skin is ripped inside out it stole my youth.
Can you help with the John Hopkins experiment I seen the doc series and I would give anything for the treatment. Northern Ireland has so my traumatised people, in addiction and suicide rates but I’m well versed it all of this but in a waits torn society it survival mode regardless of peace now 🫶🏻 47:34
The wounded healer approach acts as a form of supply. You don't heal by constantly focusing on a wound.
what is SME?
@jackperry6269 Subject Matter Expert. I'm AuDHD so it's an Intense Interest
I've been on a journey of healing and integration after realizing my diagnosed PTSD, is CPTSD. When I first was diagnosed, CPTSD wasn't something that came up - but the trauma that I've lived through was ongoing from childhood. So, thank you for this episode, and keep up the great work Forrest!
Stephanie, I relate so much to what you are saying about people saying you're brave. I shared some of my CPTSD with my recovery group recently (much smaller scale of vulnerability) and got that same feedback). I thought about it later. I think surviving and working to heal from CPTSD is just something that I did to improve my otherwise compromised brain, nervous sytem, soul and therefore life, Getting through that wasn't a choice if I wanted to have any chance of thriving. Talking about it afterwards isn't hard. I do avoid it often because I can feel people shut down or pull away from the rawness of it and that feels bad. I look forward to hearing this whole podcast. Back to tuning in! I just wanted to share that element. Peace!
Dear Forrest, I want to thank you for asking all the right questions, I truly feel enlightened after this interview and finally recognized, acknowledged, seen and validated, all through the questions that you have asked. And Stephanie, listening to you in this interview and the one with Dr. Ramani helped more than tens of hours I have spent listening to so many other CPTSD experts and survivors, not to mention the work with the therapists in my country where the mental care is so poor. I can't be more grateful to both of you and Dr. Ramani. This was a breakthrough for me.
I could have written every word in your comment. Wow. First time hearing another human describe my life. ❤
I always cry with my friends and clients. It's so healing and bonding.
I love you for being that way with others
Thank you so much for this podcast. I bought Stephanie's book when it came out but I haven't been able to read books since I started therapy 3 years ago for complex PTSD. I am so grateful for my somatic therapist who has been holding my hand all this time. I find one of the most painful and difficult aspects of having C-PTSD is it feels impossible to explain to other people, especially family members, what this journey is like for me. Now I can send them this interview, and if they are willing to listen, maybe they will understand.
This was a beautiful conversation from beginning to end. Thank you for YOUR work Forrest and Stephanie! ❤❤❤
This was incredible I'm going to be reading Foo's book. I have never felt so seen. I shared the same struggle trying to get help. CBT did not work for me, and only made me feel worse. When I tried to explain things like generational curses aka multigenerational trauma my therspist a white female did her best, but somehow left me feeling worse for having mentioned it. Even the incredible hulk metaphor is one I frequently use 😅. The disassociation during covid, not receiving unconditional love and having to do x y,z to receive anything at all, psychedelics helping, it's like you read my diary. Incredible!🤯Thank you both very much❤this has been very enlightening.
I have C-ptsd and I recognized my own experiences in her healing trajectory.
I liked this episode for so many reasons. One is that I feel like it took away some rigidities for me, e.g., it has never occurred to me that I can ask for the other person to give me feedback in a way that is more tolerable for me than how it is usually done.
I have always felt that to become ‘normal’ I simply have to learn not to overreact if someone criticizes me.
This is such a pain point for me because it is usually in these situations that my relationships are abruptly aborted by me.
Maybe I am not allowed to feel like this but it makes me sad and angry that other people get so impatient and angry with, are for reacting this way, for being sensitive to their crucial.
It seems it never occurs to anyone that there might be a reason I react this way. It seems so self-righteous to me the way people always dismiss and criticize me when I react this way, instead of being perhaps curious and kind.
Up until now, I don’t think I have ever been able to say or do anything protective of myself, instead, I have felt incredible shame and a sense of being forced to agree to being ‘wrong’ and to try to make myself make amends for my childish behavior. I felt like I must be in the wrong but at the same time feeling so confused with all the hurt and fear inside. Often, nearly always, there is a moment of coldness and steely presence abs I am flooded with a terrible, lonely feeling, and then a conviction that the relationship can’t continue e.
But now I feel like next time I’d want to be able to articulate something of what I am trying to convey here.
Also, it makes sense to me that we need to have people who love us before we can love ourselves. I have begun to heal myself, without the help of a professional.
This had transpired over several years. I truly feel that at the heart of it, at the heart of how painful, slow, and frustrating the situation is (and also at times beautiful), in a sense its cause, is that I have no people in my life, that there is this immensely shame-inducing and activating lack of connection and feeling attuned with.
It’s like there is this constant low-grade stressor inside me, like a low, humming noise.
And yet it also makes sense that it is necessary to love ourselves before we can genuinely receive love from others, and love them.
I do feel like I need to create my own ‘safe home’ within myself before I expect myself to be able to successfully navigate relationships-because this is what will enable me to connect healthily and deeply; otherwise, I remain too boundary-less and too easily overwhelmed by others; I will be too afraid.
This episode also made me wonder about EIS, bipolarity, and disorganized attachment, and how these diagnoses overlap.
Fantastic interview with great content. Cultivating and maintaining great relationships is so important. Especially the 2 way repair (reciprocity). Stephanie’s vulnerability is so welcome- thank you ❤
"you have to love yourself" _enough_, to accept kindness, love, affection, nurturing, and care from others with grace. If we deflect compliments, nurturing, and care, then we can't be surprised when people stop giving to a black hole of self-loathing
Truth. I’m there.
NEVER CLICKED ON A VIDEO SO FAST. I LOVE STEPHANIE!!!
I trusted all.the wrong Doctors..these Podcasts are SO VALUABLE to me. I go back to them and listen to them again. I rewind a lot, so I don't miss something. This is very important to me. It will determine just HOW my remaining years will FEEL.
I rewind too. So much to absorb. 💓
OMG restorative yoga 🧘♀️ is soooo helpful! I love it 😻
Wow, this resonates with me on so many levels. My parents are survivors of the Khmer rouge and fled to the US. I'm also 36 and only been recently exposed to childhood neglect studies and cptsd. Such a crazy journey, thanks for sharing.
I also have cptad. Irene Lyon’s work, ( Peter Levine) has been sooo helpful for me. But I don’t think she needs to feel she was too crazy to feel social fear in releasing her story, however I can relate to just getting to a point where it doesn’t matter anymore. The drive to share and help others and find meaning. In your suffering overrides any social fear of judgement because what you’ve been through is Soo much worse than any social judgment on your truth. Also, there is a lot of secrecy in many families with cptsd patterns, and as a child I REMEBER wanting help, knowing it existed in some form, but being afraid of telling my families “secrets”, which sadly, ultimately caused me to hide my truth. There was always a deep dissonance between my family members truths and my own. Releasing the secrets can be freeing. ❤great interview, thank you for sharing this info.
Love you both for being real about how we have strengths. This was a powerful realization to share.
I agree, I also have cptsd, and I do think it gave me more compassion and understanding for other people. Especially while listening to clients traumatic stories at the time when I worked as a peer counselor.
I resonated so much with all that was talked about in the interview….with Stephanie, with the discussion on the broken mental health system, with the difficulty in finding an affordable therapist who can actually help, and that you have trust & have a rapport with. A kind soul made me aware of Stephanie Foo & her book. The Universe brought this particular interview onto my feed, I’m so happy to discover Forrest & this channel on my healing journey. Forrest you’re a brilliant & kind human! ❤🙏
Absolutely grateful for your show and for Stephanie Foo's What My Bones Know on Complex PTSD. It's great to know that there are others out here who are in the same journey in having to seek very specific guidance support and therapeutic services.
Trauma and PTSD alone are still generally seen as a temporary or not much big of deal type attitude.
I've been writing about my personal experience living with the debilitating trauma complex PTSD and educating others about this as well and using it to bring awareness to family and friends alike.
I love Forrest’s pacing
Repeating and moving so logically with such a big heart it seems Forrest doesn’t take his heart or his brillance for granted Very responsible care
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you!!!! This episode is so huge, and such a gift!! ❤
I think it is very strange how we talk about this diagnosis as though it is like saying a person is short or allergic to peanuts as though it just is a fact of life, but trauma can be treated, and the goal of treatment is to fix the symptoms, and once the symptoms are gone you don't still have to claim to have the problem. Very closely related is the way 12 step programs treat addiction like it becomes the fact of a person. You don't have an addiction, you are an addict, and not only that, but you are an addict.... FOREVER!
So glad Stephanie talked about how hard it is to find a good trauma-informed therapist in this system 👏 Who can afford this? Who's accepting patients + also accepts your insurance or has a cheap-enough sliding scale? If you've only got medicare and/or medicaid it's a near impossibility! These treatments are super expensive + even if you find a good therapist they're full up not accepting new patients. It's so super hard out there
Yep, literally NO, ZERO, therapists take Medicare patients. They say yes accepting new patients, then the minute I'd say my mom has Medicare, oh no they couldn't hang up the phone fast enough. 😢
@@ivywildwss Have you tried Psychology Today? Put in your city or however far you want to look + check Medicare ☑ it's still super difficult to find one you like who's accepting new patients… but def worth a try - good luck 🙂
I will be honest... I'm afraid to go back to therapy because of my experience. I don't want to be invalidated for my pain and trauma
I feel you 100%. At least half of my trauma comes from getting gaslit by my parents to go to a psych ward and getting mistreated and my negative experiences were devalued and downplayed, making me feel even more broken and ashamed
omg pleeeeeez don't give up. Search Psychology Today for someone in your area or keep looking online. We've all gotta find help with someone truly qualified (who takes your insurance 😕) but keep looking
Yes have retraumatized 2 times myself by therapy, so can be scare to go back. I have a somatic therapist now , but don't fully trust her because of trauma, but time will tell.
I read Stephanie's book recently and wow! what an amazing story. Love the book and love that she's sharing her story.
I recently discovered that I have Complex PTSD, and it was suggested to me that I attend meetings of Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. You can read about the meetings on the internet. The attendees have experienced childhood trauma and we are there to support each other. There are workbooks and literature to read that are helpful in our healing. I've been consistently going in the past month and will continue to attend. I would recommend ACA for anyone who thinks they have Complex PTSD also called Childhood PTSD.
This was an awesome interview and I'm looking forward to listening to Stephanie's book (on my audiobooks list at the library!). I am a C-PTSD survivor and a member of the Chinese diaspora so I greatly relate to this! I think the system is built in a way to silence those who want to heal, it is not an accident. So we have to find ways outside that system to help support our communities and friends. Looking forward to continued learning and growth :)
I had a not so great childhood and also we were raised to believe that there was no such thing as illness or pain. I'm now 50 and only started doing the work maybe the last 8 years because I didn't realize there was work to be done. Surprisingly, when I learned about CPTSD I was pretty darn sure my stepfather has it because of his violent rage. But guess what? After listening to this today, I think I might have it... more work to be done. Sigh.
Yeah anyone with a stepfather like that likely has more work to be done... not to mention anyone who describes their childhood as not so great. You're only 50 years old though. I've met people in their 70s still just now realizing they have work they never did but that would've served them to do. I'm glad you are realizing this and working on yourself. And I wish you luck through the journey and process. ❤
wow.. lightbulb moments for me. thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Forrest, you totally made me cry. CPTSD is a challenge, and it's hard to face that you are working with it (because we've been working with it all along, we just have to find ways to heal it and in the meantime roll with it better) and so it's really relieving that there's even a conversation about it now. It's nice to feel like you aren't just a broken toy
I literally just finished her audiobook a few days ago...let me bookmark this episode rq
Boundaries!!! Yes!! I feel so seen 🙏🏽
"There is a body" ...Dr.Joseph Goldstein always says that, it's helped me a lot and so thrilled to see Stephanie mention this.
Sadly the traits that are valued in us as "positive", are the direct result of relational trauma. And leaning into those traits, as our "positive attributes, skills, talents", can lead to repeatedly exposing ourselves to acting in ways/putting up with things that are actively harming us, and can break us.
To me, EMDR had no result. I have later heard it is best with classical ptsd where certain memories is available. Not pre-verbal/pre-memory traumas (like birth trauma) and not long term emotional neglect without certain traumatic events.
This has been my experience too, so I completely agree. It was re-traumatizing to the point where it just became another trauma of its own.
Thank you for this comment, it is very helpful🙏🏻
@@04Serena I hear you, G L. I wish you a gentle and deeply healing path ahead.
@@Gioia392 I am happy to hear that, Urzula. May your journey be blessed.
It's definitely hit or miss. I found it helpful, but I've heard others report everything from nothing to it being actively problematic for them.
31:59 is BIG facts! I’m always trying to know my way out of sht. Nah. Yoda be like, “Experience…you must.” 😫🤣
I’m really happy to have come across this channel. Thanks for talking about this really important subject. I have cptsd as well and it’s a challenge. Makes long term relationships with people who don’t have much trauma quite hard. I’m blessed to have good friends in my life who help me move through it. My family is helpful too.. as much as they can. I still feel alone with it but I’ve gained some coping tools and resilience over the last few years so I’m not totally helpless and ignorant about it anymore.
Thanks again and wishing you both the very best ❤
Thank you ❤
Thank you both for this conversation and the catalogue of work.
You just made me think of “Mary Poppins”. Thank you for this book.
Wow this is an amazing interview. Thank you Stephanie and Forrest. 🙏🏻 I hope we can change how we can treat CPTSD and approach healing.
Thank you so much. It was a great learning experience
I can relate to the Hulk out being useful, in my advocacy of my daughter in her school journey. The little girl the school failed is a wonderful defender of my little girl.
I absolutely loved this podcast and I'm trying to figure out all that is in my professionally diagnosed mentally disordered mind.
It's so great to see people learning about their experiences with this diagnosis and to hear people like Stephanie's story.
Thank you, Forrest for this interview. Learned a lot. Did not know that c-PTSD also manifests as a fear of not having everything prepared and through keeping your environment safe. I also always make sure that wherever I go, it is a safe place (online or offline). Too many experiences for me were unsafe, jobs, relationships, apartments. I'll get Stephanie's book and am looking forward to reading it. Cheers.
Thanks! You are so wonderful Forrest!
I can totally relate to everything you said in this video. Working and volunteering was my coping skills. Then the pandemic happened and all of a sudden my brain was like whoa whoa....and i ended up struggling for more than a year before i accepted the fact that i can get therapy for myself and its ok to take care of me instead of everyone else. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, CPTSD, and ADHD. Now im on the right meds for some of those things and ove been in therapy a lil more than a year. Thanks for doing this video. Makes us feel so not alone.
Took 40+ years to finally get the same dx. It’s been hell to deal with not knowing what’s wrong with you. I have lived a life of quiet and NOT so quiet desperation.
Thank you so much for this amazing episode! It is incredibly validating to hear your experiences with unhelpful and hurtful 'help' and your triumphs in you both finding your paths to healing ❤
Hi am
New to podcast I was diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder at 50 years old now almost 53 to get the counciling sorted out hopefully starting in March 2024
❤thank you❤ loving your book Stephanie❤ thanks Forrest love your work ❤❤
Thank you 🙏, I have recently started listening to you podcasts and really enjoy them as a person with cptsd who is thriving and trying to help others. Happy Spring Equinox 🍄 ❤
Thank you SO MUCH!!! I cannot wait to read your book Stephanie! ❤
Thank you for this awesome episode. I will definitely get this book. It was really helpful for me to understand how she healed. And thank you, Forrest, for really focusing the conversation and bringing your own humanity and humor.
thanks. I really liked the comments about more natural and communal places being used to share healing ideas like re-regulation for trauma. Even just knowing about the various normal protective nervous system responses is really useful. And the Hulk, pop culture is suprisingly full of 'super' examples to make conversations easier (kids show A:TLA for example), and so is mythology, religion etc. Also how to hold space for and contain your own responses in your own body, as related but separate to the responses inside other's bodies, without getting feelings all entangled. How to help others feel containment so they can process stuff safely with you as a trusted person. Just understanding 'how nerves work' should be something we all talk about, like the current thing for books about understanding Feelings, but a layer deeper into bodily awareness.
I loved this episode and found it very insightful. Thank you Forrest and Stephanie.
Btw - where do you find a therapist like that in Australia?
Restorative yoga is very relaxing.
EMDR - decreased dissociation from past
Google Docs therapy - opportunity to review what was written.
Great conversation ❤As you know Health Private Insurance as well as Medicare don’t consider Mental Health a necessity!!!!especially Medicare that deals mostly with aging population of us!!Thats why therapists don’t participate in any insurances being compensated what insurances dictate !!! 1 h therapy for dramatically low reimbursement wouldn’t allow therapists to make living. Same with cosmetic dentistry. Insurances don’t care how you present your smile! , don’t reimburse for prevention!!!! Just emergences. I’m happy that mental health slowly keeps coming to the surface, more public personas keep talking about it, more medical initial paperwork include questions related to past history etc. great job guys!! Keep spreading your dialog all over the World!!
Hurt people hurt people, yes that phrase has made me very worried that I could be a total liability for others :(
So glad I found you ❤
Thank you for lovely sharing ,I was been diagnosed with depression 、anxiety in Taiwan ,after all I have been diagnosed BPD in Australia NT.
but I know I am CPTSD ,I am so confused why the them told me is BPD ..
Learning some body regulation through yoga. Learning sensorily body in peace.
Please can we get Stephanie Foo and Elizabeth in the same room 🥰💞❤
(No shade meant to you, Forrest! You too are the best.😄 But also, hearing them talk would be great I reckon).
This makes a lot of sense thank you
Thank you so much! Buying Foo’s book today.
"attuned divining rod" - talk about resonating (lol)
I can feel/sense that *something* is "off", but I tend to get curious and ask questions so I don't make bad assumptions. It doesn't help when people are obfuscating intentions or acting in bad faith on purpose. It's like a warning signal to slow down, pay attention, and set/reinforce boundaries as necessary.
I also have a dysfunctional relationship with work, and yeah it absolutely is a problem that people are praising me for productivity and can't clock that it's actually destructive
Lovely conversation
This was so helpful. Thank you!
Timestamp: 1:03:03 Plugging gestation. Loved the human moment. ❤❤❤🤣
SACMs: socially acceptable coping mechanisms is a vital concept for self exploration and recogtion of unhealed trauma because thriving or norming socioeconomically is not the measure of wellbeing. Feeling ok in our authenticity relationally is.
Hi Forest! I love your podcast! I was wondering if you can talk about adoption specifically trans racial adoption and the traumas that go with it. I am really having a hard time understanding and finding ppl talk about it
May 21/03
I wonder if you know if a person can disassociate for two months? Love your podcast.❤
I wish I could write a book or even journal about what happened to me but I don’t even have a lot of memories. Then I get told I’m lucky that I don’t remember.
I realize that I am NEVER GOING TO HEAL. I simply don't have the money to pay someone to love me unconditionally.
The Hulk analogy😃 I recently realised that myself!
Could you recommend any books about ISF and about archetypes please?
You have to rely on yourself and not others.
I am still stuck in this stage of flashbacks and victimhood. How do I move beyond that?