I grew up with many manipulative and toxic family members. I thought this was the norm. I constantly adjusted and complied to avoid conflict. I grew older, moved far away, went to therapy, and began to establish healthy boundaries. These boundaries were seen as attacks and disrespect. Now I have severed the ties and my life is so much better and peaceful.
I've dealt with the same from my ex. I had boundaries and defended them, but it was met with aggression, as if I was being unreasonable. I'm just beginning the healing process.
@@rhysconnel8755 i was bullied in school and when my grandmother started nosing around trying to figure out why i didn't like being in the classroom and often was located in the hall they tried to cover themselves by saying i was autistic. I'm doing better but i still have the autism title and ran into one of the teachers who used to work in the school. it ended badly when i tried telling the truth since i thought that now that people are coming out about their experiences or are ending their lives she might have understood what was really going on but i was wrong. It just ended in tears for me since she still refused to understand. Was she toxic because that's what she seems like.
Jack Gritty we must feel a sense of 'want' which is all natural. However, we should be mindful to make sure that we get to really know the potential partner/mate. Just saying. Bless!👊
I keep my self away from people that : 1. always complains, 2. see only the bad side of people 3. always feeling sorry for themselves 4. they take advantage when your nice 5. they don't accept when they are wrong 6. they don't listen or respect your opinion 7. always telling their problems.
You have described my mother- in -law pretty well, except that she also LIED about everyone, was stratospherically rude to everyone, an ingrate, a backbiter, incredibly cruel, a whiner, and everything else that's negative. A loathsome, unprincipled battleaxe whose death was met with unbridled joy by the entire family.
Sometimes being around a toxic person can rub off and make you toxic. If a person is constantly disrespecting or playing you, you'll end up toxic bcuz your pride is being hurt by them. It's best to get away from them.
This is so relieving to hear. I was worried I was toxic by default. I caught someone important to me lying to me, and they had sketchy behavior. I gave them a chance to tell the truth and they still lied, so I showed them my evidence finally and they were caught. Ever since then I've been toxic to them... not respecting their boundaries and all of that because I kept drowning in their dishonesty and I would try so hard to get them to be real with me and they wouldn't. They said it was toxic and blocked me because they didn't want to argue... I felt so awful, but I swear it was only because I couldn't handle them being so dishonest all the time. I'm not like that with other people, I try to show love and be uplifting to everyone I talk to for the most part. Even after saying all of that though, I still feel like I'm awful.
@@orionmart216 it sounds to me as if you were dealing with an avoidant (attachment style). I've been through the same situation where this guy just broke his engagement due their own issues and soon enough we were trying to be in a relationship. We met as flat mates, so it was easy for us to see if one is acting weird or is in a specific mood. Ff, he rushed to put his jeans on, I've found odd and asked 'where are you going?' and he said 'to the pub, want to come?' (and didn't look me in the eyes) I said no, but after taking a shower I realised that I want to go out. Went out, wanted to surprise him as I saw him sitting on a bench. Came happy from behind, only to see him speaking with his ex. Is this not hiding? I told him I Don't mind that, but I do mind hiding. He didn't understand, didn't apologise and after breaking my trust multiple times with multiple reasons, said to me 'you're only looking for problems'. Never took responsibility for his actions, many times he pushed my boundaries because 'it's not a big deal', not matter how many times I told him 'it is, for me' and I quit speaking with them. I've become aggressive and said horrible things to him, found myself crying so often and I think I have PTSD now, because I have the traits, at least something similar. You, like me, have to understand that they *do* have a level of consciousness just like me and you. Unfortunately their level is lower and can't comprehend things as we do. No matter how much you'll explain, it really is not you, but them. You can't make a rotten apple be healthy, especially if the initiative doesn't come from them exactly as it comes from you. He'd often ask me 'do you want to talk?' only to let me talk and he'd say 'ok' or sometimes he'd say in the middle of me saying something serious 'what should I eat?' like I wasn't there. This is abusive, but not because they are narcissists, but because they are avoidant. A different way of toxicity. Save your time, energy and grow your self esteem in order to know you deserve better. You're not on this earth to change people. If they want to be changed by you, good. If not, it's not your job nor anyone. Take that responsibility away from your shoulders.
@@leonaa123 That is excellent advice! It does seem like only someone that has been through something like that knows how frustrating and awful it is. You make sure to do the same, and know that you deserve better! :)
@@orionmart216 thank you, sweetheart, I am definitely working on that, it is tough sometimes, because.. Feelings. The important thing is to practice and practice while being mindful until you're getting there! Lots of love, it will get better!
Anger is their first reaction to everything. You never know when they will go off. It could be as small as the way you chew. Rather than expressing themselves in a reasonable way, they get very angry.
Yeah but in some cases its just being human... but I mean the anger is a bit different in that case...my dad is always angry but I can sympathize why, he's old tired in pain, feels used because he lets himself be, and deals with a LOT. having sensory overload myself and sorta "freaking out" not in a bad way, but just "omfg my brain is shutting down I cant handle this rn!"*zoom* i do understand. that said he'll be snappy and mean to me WITHOUT viable reasons and THAT...is toxic. i mean if a cup falls over and spills on his new coat , and he's had a bad day , snap is understood. But if he's just chilling looking fine and I simply say hello or something and get mauled a new one and then a mass of lecture that's just insanity right there...
Signs of a Toxic Person 1. Nothing you can say or do is good enough. 2. They comment on the smallest flaw or perceived imperfection. 3. It's always about them and what they think, want and feel. 4. They violate your boundaries, and they never respect "no" 5. They are prideful and pretend as if they never make mistakes. 6. They drag up your past and won't allow you to be different.
I'll tell you a few toxic personalities from my own family: 1. Constantly angry and complaining. 2. Dumps all their emotional problems on you, then it's done when they feel better. They don't want your advice. You're left drained. 3. They get you in a fight within minutes or you wind up screaming at each other over something asinine or trivial. This only happens when you deal with this one person.
@@meralEdwtDawlatly The thing is though, HER mother is twice as bad, and so even though she is so tough to live with, I really feel for her and love her.
Dalton Palmer exactly these kind of generalizations make actual depressed ppl to not talk about their issues thinking they r burdening other ppl. N go in silence
6 signs your dealing with a typical person 1.) They value people based off of material things 2.) They talk about you behind your back 3.) Quick to speak, quick to anger 4.) Envious 5.) They remind you of all of your issues 6.) Liar
Lying should be first if it's that bad. It's a sin "suppodedly". I dont think lying makes a toxic person. It's not being truthful to others that set u free. It's being self conscious to the reality of life. It's all in the bible. No man shall be trusted, but it's a sin to lie lol. Contradictory
@@ak47confetti Not even gonna get in a debate on the Bible. Dudes know better. But I mean liar as in just a compulsive liar. They just be "cappin" all the time for no reason.
If spending time with someone always leaves you feeling tired and anxious for no apparent reason, they're toxic and are probably gaslighting you. It happened to me, and the instant I got wise and stopped talking to the person my self esteem suddenly tripled and I realised just what a thorough job he'd done of tearing me down over the years.
TIMESTAMPS: Toxic people play the victim 1:02 Emotional abuse 2:52 Pathological liars 4:07 Toxic people seek to control 5:25 People who don’t respect boundaries 6:32 Negative people 7:59
#1. Victim mentality towards you #2. Emotionally abuse you #3. Pathologically lie to you #4. Seek to control you #5. People who do not respect you (or your boundaries/Bullies) #6. Negative people around you
We don’t all want to believe the best of people. That’s why we clicked on this video. We all think we’re dealing with someone toxic and we clicked on this to confirm it.
...But isn't that the same as a person who thinks their alternator is going bad clicks on a vid that asks them: is your head lights dimming,..is your battery constantly drained,..well guess what you most likely have a bad alternator. Ie if it matches is it really just all in the person's head?
Well most healthy individuals don't automatically think the problem is with the other , they have room for doubt, Is it me or is it them? Whereas most toxic people don't need that confirmation because they wouldn't even consider themselves the problem. Well narcissists anyway.
Yeah! I've dealt with people like this! 😡 Mainly family members! Bad friends are so easy to cut out when you're older. But bullying even happens at work.
Work has never been a problem for me, and we have quite a few toxic people. We have our "Debbie Downer" where everyday, something tragic or health related has happened to her or her family, "Bad News Ned" who is a walking bad news reported on murders and such..... We also have "I'm hurting Ida", where every tiny move is a grunt, groan , and grimace.
Aliza - I knew a lady that was so bossy people would hide or go through the back door so they won't be stuck having to bring her lunch from any place they go to eat. I'm surprised she doesn't bring her lunch or buy her lunch. She always counts on others. This is the same person I thought was a friend but an enemy when I learned she got fired - I tried to be nice with her by telling her we can keep in touch. She said - I don't think so. I immediately went to my facebook and remove her from my list of contacts.
You hit something there. When it's your boss, you can be stuck. Sure , people can say quit, but then how do you pay your Mortgage? feed your kids? (Long term)
Just recently I heard a good explanation of how you can tell you're in a toxic relationship, whether with family, friends or co-workers. They make you feel guilty.
If you like something, be it a song, a food, a person, a certain animal even; toxic person will find something to dislike about it and point out all its/the persons, faults. And I’ve known toxic people where I constantly felt I had to watch everything I said in case I annoyed them. Awful, awful people. And when you do fall out with them, boy, can they be nasty. I know, I’ve been there.
I get that a lot . Also if you do something well and you feel pleased with what youve done ,, they come along and knock it .. no matter what it is , they cant find anything postive to say about anything you do .
WiTu Lo Well, in my case, I was friendly with this person and I didn’t realise until later just how negative she was. And falling out with her was as bad, if not worse than being friendly with her as I found out later. I dropped her like a hot brick when I realised just how she was affecting me and she was furious!!!!!
YouEclipseAll The Narcissistic parent never stop, one just has to block them out their life and ignore their calls, just love them in silence otherwise you'll never heal from their torture.
So what's a person supposed to do? My brother and sister have both cut off their relationship with my mother, my father is deceased (they fought like cats and dogs), she is in a feud with her neighbor over who knows what? , She talks badly about her friends, she treats me like a child and I just had fight with her last week and we have not spoken since... what are people supposed to do??? She's my mom and I do love her and I don't want to turn my back on her like my brother and sister but she has gotten very controlling and I don't know what to do.
@@TheEventsTV but what about the part of freeing yourself of toxic, negative people? I'm just supposed to accept her dramatic nonsense? But like I said I don't want to abandon her...
It's all about value, if you value someone you are going to respect them. All relationships (no matter the type) are going to have turbulence but when people lose respect for each other that's when things become toxic. Unfortunately, we live in an age where no one values anyone or anything.
I dated a young lady that was a toxic person. She displayed ALL the signs from this video. Some people tried to warn me but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She made my life miserable. Always trust your intuition and never date anyone until you know them very well!!!
I think the most important part in this is to look at ones own toxic behaviors (most of us have and deny them). Esp if you were raised in a toxic family or have had toxic friends or relationships you likely have learned some of these behaviors too. It’s not our fault, but is our responsibility to acknowledge and address our own toxicity ❤️
@@SixStringsCovers I'm not sure if this person is still with you or not but I just want to wish you all the best and let you know that if he or she is gone, it gets better. They're damaged people and the only way the know how to feel better is to make others feel as horrible as they do inside. A much better life without them lies ahead of you so keep that in mind man and know there are people out there that love you and will always have your back x
@@casmartin790 I have learned my lesson and she is gone since 2017 after a few months relationship I realized that she was a narcissist and borderline disorder. Since then I am still learning new things about toxic people and how to avoid them and talk with them. I feel at a different level right now and more powerful and that relationship made me a better and a happier person in the present.
The thing about a toxic person is that they will never own up to their wrongdoings. You could love them with your entire heart, and they will find ways to show the world that you were "crazy" - as if you were the wrong one. They will take the love you gave them, crumple it into a poem they don't want, and paint a different story to project onto the world. The thing about a toxic person is that no matter how much you try to get them to realize what they do wrong, they will never admit it. They will gaslight you until you're fully convinced that if there was anyone at the wrong, it was you. It was always you. Not them, but you. The thing about a toxic person is that they will project their insecurities onto you, until you begin to believe that those insecurities were always yours. The thing about a toxic person is that they will ensure that you don't become a part of their labyrinth of heart, because that way, they will never have to feel guilty about what they did to you.
@cadillac smoke The first step is admitting you have a problem. A lot of toxic people wouldn't admit it even if they did recognize it. I said a prayer for you.
Stay and associate with positive people. There is enough negativity in this word.....u don't need more. Very toxic.... Stay positive....keep the hope!!!
No matter how much you miss a toxic person, please don't contact them. It's not worth it. You'll just be sad again. You deserve nothing but happiness, and it is not them. You don't ever need to feel drained and exhausted over someone. Real love will find you.
But you're also losing the chances to meet awesome people who you deserve in your life. This video is telling you how to recognize and avoid toxic people, not asking you to avoid any kind of interpersonal interaction, it'd be a different kind of unhealthy condition.
When dealing with toxic people I’ve learned that something or someone in their lives made them this way and just neutralize there actions by putting up a “mirror” per say.
@@fool4singing You are my favorite person on the web today! I think trump is intentionally toxic and enjoys being that way. he loves the chaos he creates. he's a horrible person and it's rubbing off on his followers.
@@BRIGHTSIDEOFFICIAL Thankfully I'm not a toxic person...but yes I have one quality, which isn't that toxic but still I'm working on it...thanks bright side for reminding it...🤗💚
The one thing I like about animals, they don't lie about how they feel about you. Even if a dog tries to tear you to pieces, at least you know where he's coming from.
@@rustyshackleford7265yeah, just look in the mirror: it's exactly this kind of spiteful know-it-alls that deeply disgust me. thanx a lot for confirming, though :-)
david stewart, mine, too. I’m sorry. It’s hard to do, but important for your emotional health to forgive her (in your heart, not to her face. I don’t think they know the damage they cause). I have to constantly forgive mine.
That is so true, we choose to be happy so we wrap ourselves with good people. People that can make us better and inspire us. People that cares how you feel, people who are there to to lift up each other.
JG Alegria, Yes, though it’s important to recognize who can be helped, versus users and toxic people. Edit: this video is helpful to me. I think of a lot of what Kristen says as life goals. ruclips.net/video/XkXvkSrp_RM/видео.html
I have become very discerning when it comes to friendships. As soon as I notice anything toxic in their behaviour I cut ties with them. Life is too short to put up with arseholes.
My problem as a kid was that I had numerous toxic people as teachers and fellow students. First grade through Ninth grade was an absolute nightmare save for maybe Fifth. Finally in Ninth grade (and like 7 schools later), my parents were absolutely fed up with how I was being treated and put me in a private school until I graduated (we also moved completely out of that community).
Can I say one thing...I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder a few years ago but I rarely lie, I actually find it very hard to do. I would feel guilty and I’ve been taught lying is a bad thing since my childhood. People even say honesty is my biggest quality (and this is not a lie, of course). So please understand...not all BPD patients are manipulative liars. Please don’t spread the prejudice about the illness.
@Toni Sumblin That's not nice...and it's toxic. You don't know this girl from Adam. That was mean and uncalled for. Maybe you should get some help too.
I absolutely back you up. This bit of the video is hurtful and untrue. I have a very good friend with BPD and she is the most honest person I know. Please do not propagate stigma on mental illnesses. Its simply not true.
I feel you guys in these comments. I've always been told that my feelings are not valid and that I'm just "spoiled" because I get angry when I'm constantly criticized. But when I get angry I'm told that so-and-so person is the only reason I'm here in the first place so what right do I have to be upset? And then comes the threat that I'll be "kicked out" for not complying with the petty requests. Always thought this was somewhat normal. Just now realizing I've been dealing with toxic people and at times I get scared I may become like them if I'm not careful. But I won't let myself entertain that thought. I won't let someone feel the way I do, because of _me_
When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.
Some people suffer with depression and yes circumstances DO affect the way people feel. Someone having a difficult time does not mean they are toxic. Never having a good word to say about others and putting others down is definitely toxic.
Cindy L You can be a good person and toxic at the same time. Your toxicity can be caused by someone else's behavior in life. Like living with a girl/boyfriend that is destroying your life. You may complain about them a lot on your path of removing yourself from them. And yes all your complaints can become toxic to others but it usually the best way to get some of the stress off your shoulders.
Yeah my ex was depressed and overall going through a lot, and he really pitied himself to the extreme. I don't blame him though, he is kind within. He's not toxic, just in a bad mental state.
It's toxic! Especially if it's someone close to you or a family member! There is a lot self care involved with dealing with people like this. When this happens I have to set boundaries and stay away!
I used to be around toxic people and listen to them without knowing that they are bad friends for me but i escaped every one of them by being confident and showing them who is the boss.
Is psychology actually a respectful science? I mean I think its possible that only some of the toxic traits happen in same people although maybe all of them could happen in one person. How do you decide whether to pursue the relationship? There are numbers ... its just all speculation.
Here's the thing about toxic people: sometimes, when you are around them all your life (e.g. one or both parents or a sibling was toxic growing up), you start to become like them. It's those of us who recognize that things aren't the way they should be, who hae the best chance at healing!
This describes my ex almost perfectly, she would use her emotional state to constantly make excuses for her behavior.. to belittle me when we were having an argument and never actually listening to my side despite all I did for her.. but at the time I thought so fondly of it all, I guess love really is intoxicating
Exactly my mother....ditto....even tried taking her to the psychiatrist, but nothing is wrong with her but all of us are wrong.... So after so many years put some distance between her and me
Everyone exhibits aspects of toxic personality at times in their life. It's the ones who persist in the behavior and learn to use it as their go-to form of 'persuasion' who are the ones to really watch out for. There is also situational toxicity when people become toxic because of the environment they are in or the person they are dealing with. If a person finds that they become the toxic person in certain situations or dealing with specific people, they may want to reassess their commitment to/with such places/people.
Some people who are seen as 'negative' or as having a 'victim' mentality often have genuine reasons to be those things. Some people have serious issues to deal with such as mental health problems, serious health issues and/or a history of physical and psychological abuse. So the next time you're ready to label someone in such a way, take a step back for a second and consider whether this person is deserving of being labelled as 'toxic', or whether they are someone who is a real 'victim' (of life and the garbage that some people are forced to deal with).
Good point! For example, in college, where we had to deal with a lot of pressure, we used to complain a lot, but it was a form of mutual support and empathy. Same thing years later among colleagues when we had a terrible conditions at work.
Totally agree. I'm getting a bit sick of people pathologizing others because they watched a video or read a book about a particular psychological topic. Apparently one of these "experts" has even made an appearance in your reply section.
I'm with you, experiences over and over again can will give you a point of view about life that sometimes is justified or natural for a human being to respond the way they do, as when a large group of people go through something they will respond and communicate very similarly, maybe 95% will respond in the way they do which would be natural, I wouldn't call it victim mentality ...In fact most people that say to someone or a group "victim Mentality" have never gone through the same thing and over come it, they just an outside perspective and don't empathize with them because they have not had the same feelings that changes their personal or out look I hope I'm clear :) Example Black people always have Victim "mentality" over Racism, why do they get so angry...says the white person that has never experienced adversity because of their complexion... There are real victims out there Wich makes the communicate in a way
Kelly Smith Wahle Well, sometimes, is not enough to choose how to cope, but you also have to have the MONEY that allow you to follow your chosen way to cope. Otherwise, all is just psychological blah, blah, blah...
It gives them a kick. Negative and positive responses both provide narcissistic supply. If they can't get a good reaction they will surely settle for a bad one. Better to walk away and never look back.
No many narcissists are pleasant productive people - I researched narcissism for quite a few years - most of America is narcissistic - we tell ourselves how better we are all the time
@@kittkatt032 Being productive ≠ being positive I know a lot of people who work hard all day but they're toxic af. Look also at celebrities, most of them are productive but still fools.
My former best friend did all of these things. She's the reason why I didn't want to live anymore. I stayed with her because she made sure that she was my only friend and she started it when we were in kindergarten. It ended 2 years ago
same thing.. we were friends like 8 years ago, but it all ended when he exposed alot of things about me when he testified in court against me when someone sued me over a business scuffle which I have to admit I did it wrongly...best friends should protect each other.. but sadly this one completely destroyed me..
Congratulations, this is the perfect encapsulation of “toxic personality”. It’s almost certain that a toxic person could watch this and call out ever less toxic person in the room.
First by accepting yourself with pluses and minuses, embrace yourself, be your best friend, have compassion for yourself. You my dear feel toxic for yourself because of all the things that marked you so far, a good therapist could help you understand more. Good luck!
My life has been peppered with these crazies! Parents, sibling at times, boyfriends, bosses, coworkers, "friends," bullies in school....they're everywhere!!
Narcissistic vs. Borderline Personality Disorder are two very different mental health problems. As someone with BPD, it is possible to recognize and reflect on my behaviors and to work on changing my behaviors. Like you said in #3, they can be “dangerous” when unaddressed; however, I think it is very important to address that when the person with the mental health issue does address it and is working on changing their behavior, things can get better. Ending the stigma around mental health is incredibly important so I would just encourage when talking about mental health that recovery is possible for certain disorders. Thank you if you read this far... 💜💙💗
@PiK no completely different. Their emotions are extreme. When they loose it over something small it's like an Earth quake. They will feel feel bad after but it's short lived an happens again an again. They have extreme fear of abandonment. They can leave others though. Look up BPD. Usually they've had childhood trauma. My bf has BPD he can't control it. For those who learn to control their outbursts that's great. They are not bad people but it takes a strong person to handle a relationship with them. They are very sensitive though. Their feelings are just intense.
@PiK true but the intensity of anger is like earthquake :) my ex boyfriend not with currently goes thru furniture phones tablets ect.. over phone taking too long to post or me taking too long doing something, if something breaks ect..
According to this, I've been emotionally abused by my mom. I knew there was a reason I kept my distance emotionally and physically. A lot of toxic people are family members and friends, which really sucks.
Hey, people. Don't be so quick to press the panic button, if you are recognizing some of these traits in yourself ! What I mean is this: although it never feels great to acknowledge negative personality/behavioral traits in ourselves, at least it shows that at your core your are honest, self-aware & care about how your actions affect other people. And in my book, that's a good thing! Remember, literally no one is without flaws & knowing that you have flaws is the first step toward making improvements. So that's part of the "bright side." However, how you choose to deal with people in your world who have deep personality defects and DO NOT CARE about how they hurt others is another story. In other words, imho, each of us can & should be working on becoming a better person (I do this thru my faith & Bible study), but we can only change ourselves -- we can never change another person. It's taken me many years of frustration to learn that; please trust me, it's true. If you hope to change another person (even for loving reasons), you will simply set yourself up for endless disappointment -- the desire for change MUST come from that man or woman only. This is hard-earned wisdom. I hope that it will be helpful to some younger folks. Shalom🌟 to All May God's blessings light your pathway! 😌
I think the first step to stop being the toxic person is to recognize your mistakes and acknowledge that you are the one who's wrong. Accept your past mistakes and be willing to apologize to the people you hurt and lastly be willing to change for yourself and for the better. If you TRULY want to change, you CAN. It will take time but if you want to, you can. Be kind to yourself
Sometimes people see someone as 'toxic', 'negative' or the like when in fact they have genuine reasons to be miserable/negative such as mental health issues, serious physical health problems, a history of emotional/physical abuse etc.
True, but you need a thick skin to deal with their problems as well as your own. I have a friend who was always late or cancelled. I asked her if she was okay. She wasn't. There was a reason for it. She had been trying not to worry about it, and told herself it wasn't so bad. I'm glad I asked her. I'm glad she told me. She got help and got over that.
Traumatic events can really change ppl. I experienced a lot of traumatic events in a few short years, it definitely changed me. I got therapy, got really close to God too.
My friends used to tease me I like to complain about how I feel (both physically and emotionally). Turned out I had a few real health issues that were hard to diagnose when I was young. In my case, I was complaining because I was seeking a help unknowingly. And they made fun of me just to make themselves feel superior.
You are right, but they are toxic nonetheless, and a lot of them don't want to acknowledge that they have a problem; they think others are the problem. They reject help, and prefer to play to play the victim, and when they have your attention they quickly get clingy and possessive. If you are not prepared, they drain you energy and manipulate you until you find yourself between a rock and a hard place.
Being a confident strong person, this is how I banished a toxic person from my life forever no matter the relationship: 1) I privately and calmly confront the person with any or all ongoing issues that have been bother me; 2) In my mind, I will set an amount of time to see if the person listened, actually heard my grievance(s) and remedied the problem(s); 3) If the person still continues with their toxic annoyances , in all fairness, I will try speaking with toxic person again and probably a third warning with each time frame to forgive getting less and less; 4) If the toxic person disregards me, then my rule is “three strikes you’re out” of my life never able to return. Remember, be a strong person and do not allow any type of toxicity in your life!
The real question is, are YOU willing to conform and change if you are showing toxic behavior or doing things that bothers another person? People are quick to take but they refuse to give.
Yeah... I was such in a toxic relationship....im glad i got out of it...im still having some issues....so im glad counseling helped and having a now postive bf
Being honest about your own flews is liberating, and I often have to tell myself and admit to other people that I’m wrong. What gets me is people who are never wrong no matter what they do.
you just explained the whole human race and for someone to think that they might be perfect and that none of this toxic signs apply to them or have ever applied to them means that there toxic sign is "denial" think about it
@@Geteoh John 8:7 King James Version So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. Not trying to push religion down your throat or anything like that, its just what i believe in. My point on the comment was not to justify anything, none of us are perfect but we strive to be so. Instead of avoiding such people, why not help them by telling them this or that about them is toxic and if they see fit to continue the way they are then you can just avoid them. p.s evil is a little harsh don't you think ?
I like how this video not only points out, describes each points in detail and also lists out the examples at the end of each by asking rhetorical qs. I admit I am a toxic person and she was also matching some of these points. I want to work on these points...I want to be better and not cause harm like I did to my ex. We both were so toxic to one another and I am sorry I have hurt her. I want to work on myself so I wont repeat the same mistakes again in the future to whoever.
I'm in the same situation. I should've moved out back when I was working and planning on doing it. Now I can't even go to the grocery store without being met with one of these behaviors when I come back, so a job interview is out of the question.
My mom was so toxic it was horrible because I didnt enjoy my child hood. I longed to grow up to get out. I'm happily married and not speaking to my mom is the best thing ever
I’m proud to say my mom is toxics cuz everything he said in this one video, he explained everything my mother do to me. And I’m tired of feeling this pain
I'm sorry you have to go through that. I have a a toxic older sister I get into fights with. She never admits she's in the wrong and demands an apology. Even when I point out that she's in the wrong, she says I'm being oversensitive and tells me to get over it.
The only problem I have with this video is that some of these, like a person being down and negative, are causes and signs of mental problems like depression or bipolar disorder and you should not shun someone or walk away if their problem is one that is out of their control
@@devynconrad907 no, it just means they're toxic. You could try to help them, but ask yourself whether its worth it, depends on the person as in this video if you try too hard because the person is resistant to fix themselves then you need to ask whether its worth it. Also, there is such thing as constructive criticism.
@@craxusalby9751 My one issue with Bright Side is how they tend to oversimplify everything when people are a lot more complicated than that. It's incredibly important to understand the underlying reasons as to why people act the way they do
We've all met them, haven't we? Tell us your stories.
At school my friend did not know he was being mean untill I told him and a teacher, he stopped.
Yay 1st and 2nd reply
I
Not skipping are only for you, thank me.
She is so young and toxic? How is it possible? :)
Best warning sign: your gut feeling tells you their toxic but your heart doesn’t wanna believe it.
Agree
yep
True
Totally true and right
Yess
I think one of the biggest signs that someone is a toxic person is if they constantly put down the people around them and gossip.
Very true . And by that string , almost all urban educated Indians are totally toxic . And that's not a racist slur -- as I am an urban Indian .
UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS exactly
Love or money that is
Oh, absolutely!
Abhishek Roy Uh... Why do you think it is so?
I grew up with many manipulative and toxic family members. I thought this was the norm. I constantly adjusted and complied to avoid conflict. I grew older, moved far away, went to therapy, and began to establish healthy boundaries. These boundaries were seen as attacks and disrespect. Now I have severed the ties and my life is so much better and peaceful.
Gladys Smith good for you!!!
I've dealt with the same from my ex. I had boundaries and defended them, but it was met with aggression, as if I was being unreasonable. I'm just beginning the healing process.
Michael Fleming although you’re just beginning the healing process. I’m glad you’re pursuing wellness and healing. You deserve to be happy 😊
well, girls are born with a way out - just be very sad around a handsome guy and shed a tear - done
Good for you❤️
Dealing or dating with a toxic person feels like they just take your soul or energy .. it sucks
I agree Jada
@@rhysconnel8755 i was bullied in school and when my grandmother started nosing around trying to figure out why i didn't like being in the classroom and often was located in the hall they tried to cover themselves by saying i was autistic. I'm doing better but i still have the autism title and ran into one of the teachers who used to work in the school.
it ended badly when i tried telling the truth since i thought that now that people are coming out about their experiences or are ending their lives she might have understood what was really going on but i was wrong. It just ended in tears for me since she still refused to understand.
Was she toxic because that's what she seems like.
Jada Deasia I agree with you. You end up feeling stuck and can't progress. Get out b4 u get in! Stay blessed Ms. Jada.
@@bstar2033 Don't we eventually all have to try to get a partner, have you failed as a human being if you don't?
Jack Gritty we must feel a sense of 'want' which is all natural. However, we should be mindful to make sure that we get to really know the potential partner/mate. Just saying. Bless!👊
Truly toxic people will not change...don't waste your precious time on them
Your right...this is one thing i try to learn to my son...how to reconized them and keep away...they are energie sucker!!!!
Can they get help though ?
But then I feel sorry for them, coz nobody would stick with them so I would.
Time is precious for toxic 👭 people✔💲
İf they dont realize they are wrong which is hard for them to they wont change
I keep my self away from people that :
1. always complains,
2. see only the bad side of people
3. always feeling sorry for themselves
4. they take advantage when your nice
5. they don't accept when they are wrong
6. they don't listen or respect your opinion
7. always telling their problems.
They may not do all of those things. They might do, say, 3 out of those 7 points or any number less than 7. It's still pretty bad though.
Philine the Positive WIFE discribes my sister to a t jajaja
You have described my mother- in -law pretty well, except that she also LIED about everyone, was stratospherically rude to everyone, an ingrate, a backbiter, incredibly cruel, a whiner, and everything else that's negative. A loathsome, unprincipled battleaxe whose death was met with unbridled joy by the entire family.
@Toni Sumblin thank you guys I also have some videos of positivity you might like to check it out
@@coralarch sorry to hear that..
Sometimes being around a toxic person can rub off and make you toxic. If a person is constantly disrespecting or playing you, you'll end up toxic bcuz your pride is being hurt by them. It's best to get away from them.
This is so relieving to hear. I was worried I was toxic by default. I caught someone important to me lying to me, and they had sketchy behavior. I gave them a chance to tell the truth and they still lied, so I showed them my evidence finally and they were caught. Ever since then I've been toxic to them... not respecting their boundaries and all of that because I kept drowning in their dishonesty and I would try so hard to get them to be real with me and they wouldn't. They said it was toxic and blocked me because they didn't want to argue... I felt so awful, but I swear it was only because I couldn't handle them being so dishonest all the time. I'm not like that with other people, I try to show love and be uplifting to everyone I talk to for the most part. Even after saying all of that though, I still feel like I'm awful.
@@orionmart216 it sounds to me as if you were dealing with an avoidant (attachment style). I've been through the same situation where this guy just broke his engagement due their own issues and soon enough we were trying to be in a relationship. We met as flat mates, so it was easy for us to see if one is acting weird or is in a specific mood. Ff, he rushed to put his jeans on, I've found odd and asked 'where are you going?' and he said 'to the pub, want to come?' (and didn't look me in the eyes) I said no, but after taking a shower I realised that I want to go out. Went out, wanted to surprise him as I saw him sitting on a bench. Came happy from behind, only to see him speaking with his ex. Is this not hiding? I told him I Don't mind that, but I do mind hiding. He didn't understand, didn't apologise and after breaking my trust multiple times with multiple reasons, said to me 'you're only looking for problems'. Never took responsibility for his actions, many times he pushed my boundaries because 'it's not a big deal', not matter how many times I told him 'it is, for me' and I quit speaking with them. I've become aggressive and said horrible things to him, found myself crying so often and I think I have PTSD now, because I have the traits, at least something similar. You, like me, have to understand that they *do* have a level of consciousness just like me and you. Unfortunately their level is lower and can't comprehend things as we do. No matter how much you'll explain, it really is not you, but them. You can't make a rotten apple be healthy, especially if the initiative doesn't come from them exactly as it comes from you. He'd often ask me 'do you want to talk?' only to let me talk and he'd say 'ok' or sometimes he'd say in the middle of me saying something serious 'what should I eat?' like I wasn't there. This is abusive, but not because they are narcissists, but because they are avoidant. A different way of toxicity. Save your time, energy and grow your self esteem in order to know you deserve better. You're not on this earth to change people. If they want to be changed by you, good. If not, it's not your job nor anyone. Take that responsibility away from your shoulders.
@@leonaa123 That is excellent advice! It does seem like only someone that has been through something like that knows how frustrating and awful it is. You make sure to do the same, and know that you deserve better! :)
@@orionmart216 thank you, sweetheart, I am definitely working on that, it is tough sometimes, because.. Feelings. The important thing is to practice and practice while being mindful until you're getting there! Lots of love, it will get better!
Rub toxic people the wrong way✔💲
If someone says "If you love me, you'll do this." Run the other way as fast as you can.
So, should I run away from my home? I wish I could as soon as possible 🙄
@@pritigupta8165 same
That 'if' it's annoying
It is called: Emotional Blackmailing.
Lily by Alan walker
That's why I have no friends and I am happy
Me too 👍
Same boo
I stay to myself because I love the peaceful person I've become!😇
It's too bad we peaceful people never meet each other, because I would really like to have a friend to meet for coffee!
The less people you chill with the less drama you deal with.
Anger is their first reaction to everything. You never know when they will go off. It could be as small as the way you chew. Rather than expressing themselves in a reasonable way, they get very angry.
ForeverSweetx3, Sounds like my ex-husband, Joe. Never Could tell when he was about to get mad and throw something at me. Threw my poor kitty cat once.
ForeverSweetx3 ...No more than 30 mins ago (2/18/20), I told my sister we can go our separate ways. I feel relieved 😌
This just described my younger sister in words I couldn't find myself.
Yeah but in some cases its just being human... but I mean the anger is a bit different in that case...my dad is always angry but I can sympathize why, he's old tired in pain, feels used because he lets himself be, and deals with a LOT. having sensory overload myself and sorta "freaking out" not in a bad way, but just "omfg my brain is shutting down I cant handle this rn!"*zoom* i do understand. that said he'll be snappy and mean to me WITHOUT viable reasons and THAT...is toxic. i mean if a cup falls over and spills on his new coat , and he's had a bad day , snap is understood. But if he's just chilling looking fine and I simply say hello or something and get mauled a new one and then a mass of lecture that's just insanity right there...
Or a toilet paper roll being used 😂😂
Signs of a Toxic Person
1. Nothing you can say or do is good enough.
2. They comment on the smallest flaw or perceived imperfection.
3. It's always about them and what they think, want and feel.
4. They violate your boundaries, and they never respect "no"
5. They are prideful and pretend as if they never make mistakes.
6. They drag up your past and won't allow you to be different.
Sounds like my ex....
Oh nooooo! I have 2 best friends, one of them is toxic according to your comment😱😱😱but the other one is not even close to bad!
this is a perfect description of full blown narcs
@Gaming Hero 🤔
yes, definitely!
I'll tell you a few toxic personalities from my own family:
1. Constantly angry and complaining.
2. Dumps all their emotional problems on you, then it's done when they feel better. They don't want your advice. You're left drained.
3. They get you in a fight within minutes or you wind up screaming at each other over something asinine or trivial. This only happens when you deal with this one person.
True, if you engage it's just a downward spiral.
Ahh... my mother
I have the same in my family these days .......
@@bibtebo oh yea .....the worst ones
@@meralEdwtDawlatly The thing is though, HER mother is twice as bad, and so even though she is so tough to live with, I really feel for her and love her.
Someone that puts themself down even when you try to bring them up could just be deeply depressed.
Dalton Palmer exactly these kind of generalizations make actual depressed ppl to not talk about their issues thinking they r burdening other ppl. N go in silence
that explanation makes this video toxic
That's me
Dalton Palmer exactly this vdo is soooo wrong it’s showing depression as toxic which is so bad n low
ukcatfan383 you r so ryt this vdo is wronggg in so many ways
I had a toxic person in my life just kicked him out of my life yesterday.
POWER TO THE PEOPLE!
Good for you! You know the signs, best of luck!
@onkar phall
I had a whole bunch of them for many years and did the same! Good for us :)
I just did that a minute ago.
Awesome!! 👍🏻
Theyll be back
6 signs your dealing with a typical person
1.) They value people based off of material things
2.) They talk about you behind your back
3.) Quick to speak, quick to anger
4.) Envious
5.) They remind you of all of your issues
6.) Liar
Lying should be first if it's that bad. It's a sin "suppodedly". I dont think lying makes a toxic person. It's not being truthful to others that set u free. It's being self conscious to the reality of life. It's all in the bible. No man shall be trusted, but it's a sin to lie lol. Contradictory
@@ak47confetti Not even gonna get in a debate on the Bible. Dudes know better. But I mean liar as in just a compulsive liar. They just be "cappin" all the time for no reason.
I never EVER value people by what material things they have, I think that is just nonsense..I judge people by how they are. But I do get angry easily
@@bunearybusiness9402 But you should✔
@@Jackgritty28 why? I don't need anyones money, you don't really care about someone if you're only with them for money and that's the truth.
Toxic people are Abusive hateful demeaning and usually Your'e Family..
Curtistine Miller so true
@@karabrianne3414 YEP.They think we are gonna put up with them forever!
...or your president.
Curtistine Miller my mom is so toxic but I'm 31 and so hard to stand on my own when she always makes it so I depend on her
☝
If spending time with someone always leaves you feeling tired and anxious for no apparent reason, they're toxic and are probably gaslighting you. It happened to me, and the instant I got wise and stopped talking to the person my self esteem suddenly tripled and I realised just what a thorough job he'd done of tearing me down over the years.
TIMESTAMPS:
Toxic people play the victim 1:02
Emotional abuse 2:52
Pathological liars 4:07
Toxic people seek to control 5:25
People who don’t respect boundaries 6:32
Negative people 7:59
No. 1 aka Neymar 🤣
are u Albert Einstein, bless u a Good Day
So extreme liberals/ SJWs. This is not news.
So extreme liberals/ SJWs. This is not news.
BRIGHT SIDE Thanks :)
#1. Victim mentality towards you
#2. Emotionally abuse you
#3. Pathologically lie to you
#4. Seek to control you
#5. People who do not respect you (or your boundaries/Bullies)
#6. Negative people around you
They forgot gaslighting..
Simba, Sounds like our Fearful Leader, DJT, huh?
#5 is on point
We don’t all want to believe the best of people. That’s why we clicked on this video. We all think we’re dealing with someone toxic and we clicked on this to confirm it.
...But isn't that the same as a person who thinks their alternator is going bad clicks on a vid that asks them: is your head lights dimming,..is your battery constantly drained,..well guess what you most likely have a bad alternator. Ie if it matches is it really just all in the person's head?
Anonymous Person hey hey !!! 😁
Actually i was thinking of myself
🤔
Well most healthy individuals don't automatically think the problem is with the other , they have room for doubt, Is it me or is it them? Whereas most toxic people don't need that confirmation because they wouldn't even consider themselves the problem. Well narcissists anyway.
I guess I have to cut off everyone in my life
same girl😩😩
Or ignore them and don't even talk to them that's what I do
I would but I live in such a small town I can’t make other friends
Same situation
I did. Better off that way. No people = no issues with people.
Yeah! I've dealt with people like this! 😡 Mainly family members! Bad friends are so easy to cut out when you're older. But bullying even happens at work.
Work has never been a problem for me, and we have quite a few toxic people. We have our "Debbie Downer" where everyday, something tragic or health related has happened to her or her family, "Bad News Ned" who is a walking bad news reported on murders and such..... We also have "I'm hurting Ida", where every tiny move is a grunt, groan , and grimace.
Aliza - I knew a lady that was so bossy people would hide or go through the back door so they won't be stuck having to bring her lunch from any place they go to eat. I'm surprised she doesn't bring her lunch or buy her lunch. She always counts on others. This is the same person I thought was a friend but an enemy when I learned she got fired - I tried to be nice with her by telling her we can keep in touch. She said - I don't think so. I immediately went to my facebook and remove her from my list of contacts.
You hit something there. When it's your boss, you can be stuck. Sure , people can say quit, but then how do you pay your Mortgage? feed your kids? (Long term)
@@angelacarleton9575 good for you!
Just recently I heard a good explanation of how you can tell you're in a toxic relationship, whether with family, friends or co-workers. They make you feel guilty.
Yes ✨
Spot on.
The comments section is the best part of RUclips
I agree and sometimes they directly address our situation.
Or worst
For me, it's the worst part. Although I'm writing this now.
it is but sadly on his (BRIGHT SIDE's) new videos is full of bots and self promoters
If you like something, be it a song, a food, a person, a certain animal even; toxic person will find something to dislike about it and point out all its/the persons, faults. And I’ve known toxic people where I constantly felt I had to watch everything I said in case I annoyed them. Awful, awful people.
And when you do fall out with them, boy, can they be nasty. I know, I’ve been there.
Why would you care if you annoyed them?
I get that a lot . Also if you do something well and you feel pleased with what youve done ,, they come along and knock it .. no matter what it is , they cant find anything postive to say about anything you do .
WiTu Lo Well, in my case, I was friendly with this person and I didn’t realise until later just how negative she was. And falling out with her was as bad, if not worse than being friendly with her as I found out later. I dropped her like a hot brick when I realised just how she was affecting me and she was furious!!!!!
I understand completey im dealing with this myself
yeah not good people who hang on your words are out to get you read isaiah 54;17 yay
Usually it's parents who do the emotional abuse... in the name of love...
Yes and romantic partners too.
YouEclipseAll
The Narcissistic parent never stop, one just has to block them out their life and ignore their calls, just love them in silence otherwise you'll never heal from their torture.
So what's a person supposed to do? My brother and sister have both cut off their relationship with my mother, my father is deceased (they fought like cats and dogs), she is in a feud with her neighbor over who knows what? , She talks badly about her friends, she treats me like a child and I just had fight with her last week and we have not spoken since... what are people supposed to do??? She's my mom and I do love her and I don't want to turn my back on her like my brother and sister but she has gotten very controlling and I don't know what to do.
@@johnpeymann2783 Respect and pray for her. She may have gone through a tough childhood. Keep on loving her God bless you!
@@TheEventsTV but what about the part of freeing yourself of toxic, negative people? I'm just supposed to accept her dramatic nonsense? But like I said I don't want to abandon her...
It's all about value, if you value someone you are going to respect them. All relationships (no matter the type) are going to have turbulence but when people lose respect for each other that's when things become toxic.
Unfortunately, we live in an age where no one values anyone or anything.
Value 💲 money✔
So TRUE
I dated a young lady that was a toxic person. She displayed ALL the signs from this video. Some people tried to warn me but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She made my life miserable. Always trust your intuition and never date anyone until you know them very well!!!
This video is about my sister. I've gone no contact . It's the only way to deal with a narcissist.
Ditto,I put my $ on vengeance
JG Alegria I don't know maybe spend some time with them!!!
I did too it happened to me recently and it’s horrible
Be friends first and watch their behaviors.
I think the most important part in this is to look at ones own toxic behaviors (most of us have and deny them). Esp if you were raised in a toxic family or have had toxic friends or relationships you likely have learned some of these behaviors too. It’s not our fault, but is our responsibility to acknowledge and address our own toxicity ❤️
Totally agree, well said 👏
Yup, very true.
there is alot of truth to this
Absolutely agree.
I was raised by malignant mom and covert dad. Whole family is f×/k
How many others just had their ex described?...
I am in the same boat
@@SixStringsCovers I'm not sure if this person is still with you or not but I just want to wish you all the best and let you know that if he or she is gone, it gets better. They're damaged people and the only way the know how to feel better is to make others feel as horrible as they do inside. A much better life without them lies ahead of you so keep that in mind man and know there are people out there that love you and will always have your back x
@@casmartin790 I have learned my lesson and she is gone since 2017 after a few months relationship I realized that she was a narcissist and borderline disorder. Since then I am still learning new things about toxic people and how to avoid them and talk with them. I feel at a different level right now and more powerful and that relationship made me a better and a happier person in the present.
Cas Martin Right Here
Oh yer!!
"toxic people play the victim".. I know some 🤭
Traumatic events as a child✔💲
sammmeee
Mee too near me 😡👿
The disgusting truth
My mother's "mother", the most toxic woman I have ever come across. I don't call her "grandma" cuz there's nothing grand about her.
The thing about a toxic person is that they will never own up to their wrongdoings. You could love them with your entire heart, and they will find ways to show the world that you were "crazy" - as if you were the wrong one. They will take the love you gave them, crumple it into a poem they don't want, and paint a different story to project onto the world. The thing about a toxic person is that no matter how much you try to get them to realize what they do wrong, they will never admit it. They will gaslight you until you're fully convinced that if there was anyone at the wrong, it was you. It was always you. Not them, but you. The thing about a toxic person is that they will project their insecurities onto you, until you begin to believe that those insecurities were always yours. The thing about a toxic person is that they will ensure that you don't become a part of their labyrinth of heart, because that way, they will never have to feel guilty about what they did to you.
i noticed that im toxic right before he asked..pray for me
Not anymore because you already admit it
Loser Fray being self-aware doesn’t make you a better person if you still won’t do anything to change how toxic you are...
You can change, my best friend who was really toxic, changed after I explained my issues and now their actually nice.
Dmt will cure toxicity instantly
@cadillac smoke The first step is admitting you have a problem. A lot of toxic people wouldn't admit it even if they did recognize it. I said a prayer for you.
Tbh a lot of toxic ppl can be watching this and justifying their toxicity....🤐
Momin Shahzad Right Ik I’m Toxic But Only To My Self
Thats what toxic people do
I ask myself if i am toxic. :(
Yep.
Your only toxic if u dont acknowledge what you do and keep doing the same without focusing on change
Stay and associate with positive people.
There is enough negativity in this word.....u don't need more.
Very toxic....
Stay positive....keep the hope!!!
I'm trying my best!!
It's hard to when you HAVE to deal with the toxic person 4 days a week, but I'm trying!!
How can I get out to the person who she/he is very toxic? She/he always wants to control everything. I am not their puppet. 😢😭😭
No matter how much you miss a toxic person, please don't contact them. It's not worth it. You'll just be sad again. You deserve nothing but happiness, and it is not them. You don't ever need to feel drained and exhausted over someone. Real love will find you.
Dang, my mother checked all of the boxes. No wonder I'm depressed.
Mercedes Brewster you are not alone on that one. I've grown up with a toxic mother as well. :-/
Mercedes Brewster same but we are not them we have a chance to be better parents
Mercedes Brewster set healthy boundaries! Write them down and put on the fridge! Stay in control of your life! ✌️💕☀️
what i thought
funny dude @PiK
That's why being an introvert is one of my best decisions in life.
Being introvert is genetic ,i think so
Yeah its not a choice, unfortunately
they are toxic because they are jealous and sad life and no one is around him because of their bad attitude and toxic humanity
@@joshuaduca5527 you may be confused with a different personality type
But you're also losing the chances to meet awesome people who you deserve in your life. This video is telling you how to recognize and avoid toxic people, not asking you to avoid any kind of interpersonal interaction, it'd be a different kind of unhealthy condition.
When dealing with toxic people I’ve learned that something or someone in their lives made them this way and just neutralize there actions by putting up a “mirror” per say.
Some people are unintentionally toxic.
Cademan Caden true, but irrelevant. People with typhoid don't have it on purpose. They are nevertheless dangerous and should be avoided
@Mark O'Leary Sounds like you should be avoided.
Donald Trump...
bailando74 ooo, clever. You're the best--you win.
@@fool4singing You are my favorite person on the web today! I think trump is intentionally toxic and enjoys being that way. he loves the chaos he creates. he's a horrible person and it's rubbing
off on his followers.
First check yourself whether you are a toxic person or Not...before judging others😒😒😜
It's really good advice 👍
praveen kumar gosh, thanks for the advice, I'll be sure to check with you first 👍
So true.
Indeed, by judging I will assume behavior assesment
@@BRIGHTSIDEOFFICIAL Thankfully I'm not a toxic person...but yes I have one quality, which isn't that toxic but still I'm working on it...thanks bright side for reminding it...🤗💚
Most of the people who turned out toxic were my "friends"
Ditto
My so called mates also turned out to be the most isolated / paranoid and loneliest people. I learned this eventually !
Somehow I'm not overly suprised by this 🤔
* supposed friends *
And that is the main reason why my best friends are my doggie and my 3 cats, I do love animals, it's toxic people I can't stand.
same here. used to be a peoples' person, but people ruined that for me!
The one thing I like about animals, they don't lie about how they feel about you. Even if a dog tries to tear you to pieces, at least you know where he's coming from.
@@avadea5296
Are you blaming others for your problems?
I think we know who the toxic one is
@@rustyshackleford7265yeah, just look in the mirror: it's exactly this kind of spiteful know-it-alls that deeply disgust me. thanx a lot for confirming, though :-)
@@avadea5296
Yep. Everyone except for you right?
After watching this video, I think I just lost a few friends 😂😂 Toxic people will only bring you down and keep you from succeeding in life.
This is so true. Some of them, deeply hate and cannot see other people happiness.
My father... Smh I pray it wasn't like this but he can't help it
david stewart, mine, too. I’m sorry. It’s hard to do, but important for your emotional health to forgive her (in your heart, not to her face. I don’t think they know the damage they cause). I have to constantly forgive mine.
That is so true, we choose to be happy so we wrap ourselves with good people. People that can make us better and inspire us. People that cares how you feel, people who are there to to lift up each other.
JG Alegria,
Yes, though it’s important to recognize who can be helped, versus users and toxic people.
Edit: this video is helpful to me. I think of a lot of what Kristen says as life goals.
ruclips.net/video/XkXvkSrp_RM/видео.html
I have become very discerning when it comes to friendships. As soon as I notice anything toxic in their behaviour I cut ties with them. Life is too short to put up with arseholes.
Preach 👏🏻
Betty Bho Great Boundaries Betty!!!!! Listen/watch people long enough they’ll tell you exactly who they are!
My problem as a kid was that I had numerous toxic people as teachers and fellow students. First grade through Ninth grade was an absolute nightmare save for maybe Fifth. Finally in Ninth grade (and like 7 schools later), my parents were absolutely fed up with how I was being treated and put me in a private school until I graduated (we also moved completely out of that community).
@@thunderbird1921 as long as I did the right move she would be alright
Can I say one thing...I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder a few years ago but I rarely lie, I actually find it very hard to do. I would feel guilty and I’ve been taught lying is a bad thing since my childhood. People even say honesty is my biggest quality (and this is not a lie, of course). So please understand...not all BPD patients are manipulative liars. Please don’t spread the prejudice about the illness.
@Toni Sumblin That's not nice...and it's toxic. You don't know this girl from Adam. That was mean and uncalled for. Maybe you should get some help too.
ayc tky maybe your split personality is on the inside, battling each other.
@ayc tky This ^.... Honestly the prejudice people have against mental illness is saddening.
I absolutely back you up. This bit of the video is hurtful and untrue. I have a very good friend with BPD and she is the most honest person I know. Please do not propagate stigma on mental illnesses. Its simply not true.
@Chelsea Jones good point
I feel you guys in these comments. I've always been told that my feelings are not valid and that I'm just "spoiled" because I get angry when I'm constantly criticized. But when I get angry I'm told that so-and-so person is the only reason I'm here in the first place so what right do I have to be upset? And then comes the threat that I'll be "kicked out" for not complying with the petty requests. Always thought this was somewhat normal. Just now realizing I've been dealing with toxic people and at times I get scared I may become like them if I'm not careful. But I won't let myself entertain that thought. I won't let someone feel the way I do, because of _me_
When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.
Some people suffer with depression and yes circumstances DO affect the way people feel. Someone having a difficult time does not mean they are toxic.
Never having a good word to say about others and putting others down is definitely toxic.
Cindy L You can be a good person and toxic at the same time. Your toxicity can be caused by someone else's behavior in life. Like living with a girl/boyfriend that is destroying your life. You may complain about them a lot on your path of removing yourself from them. And yes all your complaints can become toxic to others but it usually the best way to get some of the stress off your shoulders.
Yeah my ex was depressed and overall going through a lot, and he really pitied himself to the extreme. I don't blame him though, he is kind within. He's not toxic, just in a bad mental state.
Hannah Prince Sounds exactly like my current companion.
It's toxic! Especially if it's someone close to you or a family member! There is a lot self care involved with dealing with people like this. When this happens I have to set boundaries and stay away!
I used to be around toxic people and listen to them without knowing that they are bad friends for me but i escaped every one of them by being confident and showing them who is the boss.
60% of the people watching this video would have lead an introvert life in their young adulthood 😊
Who agrees with me?🙅
Yes, u r right.👍👍
I agree with you, my life was more peaceful away from people.
Faxxx G
100% 🔥🙌
Is psychology actually a respectful science? I mean I think its possible that only some of the toxic traits happen in same people although maybe all of them could happen in one person. How do you decide whether to pursue the relationship? There are numbers ... its just all speculation.
Toxic = Poison = Dangerous
= Minecraft cringe
toxic ÷ Poisoning = more dangerous
I just found out half my friends are toxic, but I found that I have some signs of becoming toxic. Good thing I watched this video!
Here's the thing about toxic people: sometimes, when you are around them all your life (e.g. one or both parents or a sibling was toxic growing up), you start to become like them. It's those of us who recognize that things aren't the way they should be, who hae the best chance at healing!
You forgot NO 7 , The know it all
John Cronin aghhhh! YES! The person who always has to be right.. and you are wrong, and if you were right, they already knew about it anyways!
They already know everything that you are trying tell them.. the know it all..
Very good! You explained it perfect!!!
very true
Well knowledge is good, you just have to educate yourself and keep your own boundaries strong
This describes my ex almost perfectly, she would use her emotional state to constantly make excuses for her behavior.. to belittle me when we were having an argument and never actually listening to my side despite all I did for her.. but at the time I thought so fondly of it all, I guess love really is intoxicating
This highlighted some important points. Toxic people are all around us, recognizing it and protecting our energy are very important
My MOTHER was/is an emotional abuser!!!! My dad looked the other way cuz he didn’t want to “get involved.”
Exactly what happened to me only I was physically abused. My Dad just watched
Me too... Im still goig through physical abuse from my siblings after my dad. My mom likes to watch them beat me up
Dad was an enabler. Quite life cowards
sometimes a toxic person can be your best friend but when that happens let them go because they won’t stop
i was toxic, and my best friend changed me
I'm dating my best friend 🧍🏽♀️
Exactly my mother....ditto....even tried taking her to the psychiatrist, but nothing is wrong with her but all of us are wrong.... So after so many years put some distance between her and me
Good for you. You tried to help her but you have to think of your own sanity
you go girl
try an exorcist
Same as my late mother .
3:51 if that person make u feel that u are responsible for all the problems in Ur relationship, just yell, "WE WERE ON A BREAK!!"
Prenith Spidey 😂😂😂
I love Ross 😆
Watching friends on Netflix right now, still about a season away from that.
Friends!!
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's why dogs are man's best friend!
Unconditional love.
Indeed !
They're anyone's friend who provides them with food 😂
@@rockroll2787 if what youre saying is true then it is conditional. You give me grub I ll ne your best friend.
My best friend is my cat, she is so cute. I love her very much.
They want to always want to win a conversation item that you know there are 100% wrong. They seen to know everything an believe it themselves.
Everyone exhibits aspects of toxic personality at times in their life. It's the ones who persist in the behavior and learn to use it as their go-to form of 'persuasion' who are the ones to really watch out for. There is also situational toxicity when people become toxic because of the environment they are in or the person they are dealing with. If a person finds that they become the toxic person in certain situations or dealing with specific people, they may want to reassess their commitment to/with such places/people.
Excellent comment.
Totally agree with you Jerry
Some people who are seen as 'negative' or as having a 'victim' mentality often have genuine reasons to be those things. Some people have serious issues to deal with such as mental health problems, serious health issues and/or a history of physical and psychological abuse.
So the next time you're ready to label someone in such a way, take a step back for a second and consider whether this person is deserving of being labelled as 'toxic', or whether they are someone who is a real 'victim' (of life and the garbage that some people are forced to deal with).
Good point! For example, in college, where we had to deal with a lot of pressure, we used to complain a lot, but it was a form of mutual support and empathy. Same thing years later among colleagues when we had a terrible conditions at work.
Totally agree. I'm getting a bit sick of people pathologizing others because they watched a video or read a book about a particular psychological topic. Apparently one of these "experts" has even made an appearance in your reply section.
I'm with you, experiences over and over again can will give you a point of view about life that sometimes is justified or natural for a human being to respond the way they do, as when a large group of people go through something they will respond and communicate very similarly, maybe 95% will respond in the way they do which would be natural, I wouldn't call it victim mentality ...In fact most people that say to someone or a group "victim Mentality" have never gone through the same thing and over come it, they just an outside perspective and don't empathize with them because they have not had the same feelings that changes their personal or out look
I hope I'm clear :)
Example
Black people always have Victim "mentality" over Racism, why do they get so angry...says the white person that has never experienced adversity because of their complexion...
There are real victims out there Wich makes the communicate in a way
Kelly Smith Wahle Well, sometimes, is not enough to choose how to cope, but you also have to have the MONEY that allow you to follow your chosen way to cope. Otherwise, all is just psychological blah, blah, blah...
Totally agree
After watching this, I think I've met more toxic people than I would have thought I have before. 😕
same
Do you want talk about this?
Me too
I just came out of an emotionally abusive relationship 😓 I'm happy and feeling way better now
that's how we learn and grow .......
MOST toxic terrors know exactly what harm they inflict!
It gives them a kick. Negative and positive responses both provide narcissistic supply. If they can't get a good reaction they will surely settle for a bad one. Better to walk away and never look back.
I think the terms “toxic person” and “narcissist” are interchangeable. The “symptoms” are identical!
Narcissist is overly used. They do have narcissistic tendencies though.
No many narcissists are pleasant productive people - I researched narcissism for quite a few years - most of America is narcissistic - we tell ourselves how better we are all the time
@@CoxJoxSox Thats called being positive. How's telling ourselves were better being a narcassist?
@@kittkatt032
Being productive ≠ being positive
I know a lot of people who work hard all day but they're toxic af. Look also at celebrities, most of them are productive but still fools.
My former best friend did all of these things. She's the reason why I didn't want to live anymore. I stayed with her because she made sure that she was my only friend and she started it when we were in kindergarten. It ended 2 years ago
Anna Everett you should become a christian
How long ago were you in kindergarten?
Sounds quite similar to the story I had with a former toxic friend I once considered myself close to
same thing.. we were friends like 8 years ago, but it all ended when he exposed alot of things about me when he testified in court against me when someone sued me over a business scuffle which I have to admit I did it wrongly...best friends should protect each other.. but sadly this one completely destroyed me..
Anna Everett good for you! You have a chance to be a much better person because of these life lessons! Be blessed! ✌️💕☀️
Congratulations, this is the perfect encapsulation of “toxic personality”. It’s almost certain that a toxic person could watch this and call out ever less toxic person in the room.
How many people thought of their parents?
Me
I thought of in laws
I thought of my parents & 2 brothers.
Yup
My mother😣
how do i distance myself from myself?? I'm toxic
Yui c: don't look in a mirror 😀😀
This is such a brave question because not everyone can admit the wrong of their own self. Meditation and check yourself when you do wrong.
Be intentional in making changes. No one's perfect..... we all must make an effort to better ourselves. Recognize the toxic signs when they arise.
You probably learned it from toxic people. Try to identify who is toxic in your life and set boundaries.
First by accepting yourself with pluses and minuses, embrace yourself, be your best friend, have compassion for yourself. You my dear feel toxic for yourself because of all the things that marked you so far, a good therapist could help you understand more. Good luck!
I don’t need to worry, my mother instantly senses if my friend is toxic😂
h.m LOL
Hahahahaha
Mine too.
so when are you going to stop relying on her?
She has a toxometer? :D
My life has been peppered with these crazies! Parents, sibling at times, boyfriends, bosses, coworkers, "friends," bullies in school....they're everywhere!!
It's not just you. They're everywhere. About 1/25 to 1/30 people is a sociopath or psychopath.
I learned to NOT expect good people.
I still get tricked.
JOHN LONGENECKER who doesn't🤷♀️
Same.
Same here. I have the lowest standards ever for people, but they still fail
Narcissistic vs. Borderline Personality Disorder are two very different mental health problems. As someone with BPD, it is possible to recognize and reflect on my behaviors and to work on changing my behaviors. Like you said in #3, they can be “dangerous” when unaddressed; however, I think it is very important to address that when the person with the mental health issue does address it and is working on changing their behavior, things can get better. Ending the stigma around mental health is incredibly important so I would just encourage when talking about mental health that recovery is possible for certain disorders. Thank you if you read this far... 💜💙💗
Wow thank you so much for this information.😀
RUclips or podcast Kirby Lanerolle
@PiK no completely different. Their emotions are extreme. When they loose it over something small it's like an Earth quake. They will feel feel bad after but it's short lived an happens again an again. They have extreme fear of abandonment. They can leave others though. Look up BPD. Usually they've had childhood trauma. My bf has BPD he can't control it. For those who learn to control their outbursts that's great. They are not bad people but it takes a strong person to handle a relationship with them. They are very sensitive though. Their feelings are just intense.
@PiK true but the intensity of anger is like earthquake :) my ex boyfriend not with currently goes thru furniture phones tablets ect.. over phone taking too long to post or me taking too long doing something, if something breaks ect..
@PiK Not at all. However BPD is a VERY broad term and is quite common.
According to this, I've been emotionally abused by my mom. I knew there was a reason I kept my distance emotionally and physically. A lot of toxic people are family members and friends, which really sucks.
Do you have a bright side!
I have to deal with a toxic family member my whole life. Thank you for this.
Toxic people are all over, above all on social media!
...and our current president.
And they're also the ones who created it.
@@fool4singing : so true!
@@fool4singing Says the " fool " 😉
Anyone on Facebook 😜
Hey, people. Don't be so quick to press the panic button, if you are recognizing some of these traits in yourself ! What I mean is this: although it never feels great to acknowledge negative personality/behavioral traits in ourselves, at least it shows that at your core your are honest, self-aware & care about how your actions affect other people. And in my book, that's a good thing! Remember, literally no one is without flaws & knowing that you have flaws is the first step toward making improvements. So that's part of the "bright side."
However, how you choose to deal with people in your world who have deep personality defects and DO NOT CARE about how they hurt others is another story. In other words, imho, each of us can & should be working on becoming a better person (I do this thru my faith & Bible study), but we can only change ourselves -- we can never change another person. It's taken me many years of frustration to learn that; please trust me, it's true. If you hope to change another person (even for loving reasons), you will simply set yourself up for endless disappointment -- the desire for change MUST come from that man or woman only. This is hard-earned wisdom. I hope that it will be helpful to some younger folks.
Shalom🌟 to All
May God's blessings light your pathway! 😌
The best way to deal with toxic people (or situations) is to deny them of any emotional investment on your part, because that is the reward they seek.
steven damon so very true thats why i block 👏
steven damon so very true thats why i block 👏
The more people I meet, the more I love my dog. - Mark Twain.
😂
OMG! If you only know. Yes we do met them, sometimes we even live with them. It hurts so much when you find it within your family.
I think the first step to stop being the toxic person is to recognize your mistakes and acknowledge that you are the one who's wrong. Accept your past mistakes and be willing to apologize to the people you hurt and lastly be willing to change for yourself and for the better. If you TRULY want to change, you CAN. It will take time but if you want to, you can. Be kind to yourself
Sometimes people see someone as 'toxic', 'negative' or the like when in fact they have genuine reasons to be miserable/negative such as mental health issues, serious physical health problems, a history of emotional/physical abuse etc.
True, but you need a thick skin to deal with their problems as well as your own. I have a friend who was always late or cancelled. I asked her if she was okay. She wasn't. There was a reason for it. She had been trying not to worry about it, and told herself it wasn't so bad. I'm glad I asked her. I'm glad she told me. She got help and got over that.
Yes, it makes it easier for them to criticize and reject, in place of helping.
Traumatic events can really change ppl. I experienced a lot of traumatic events in a few short years, it definitely changed me. I got therapy, got really close to God too.
My friends used to tease me I like to complain about how I feel (both physically and emotionally). Turned out I had a few real health issues that were hard to diagnose when I was young. In my case, I was complaining because I was seeking a help unknowingly. And they made fun of me just to make themselves feel superior.
You are right, but they are toxic nonetheless, and a lot of them don't want to acknowledge that they have a problem; they think others are the problem. They reject help, and prefer to play to play the victim, and when they have your attention they quickly get clingy and possessive. If you are not prepared, they drain you energy and manipulate you until you find yourself between a rock and a hard place.
Being a confident strong person, this is how I banished a toxic person from my life forever no matter the relationship:
1) I privately and calmly confront the person with any or all ongoing issues that have been bother me;
2) In my mind, I will set an amount of time to see if the person listened, actually heard my grievance(s) and remedied the problem(s);
3) If the person still continues with their toxic annoyances , in all fairness, I will try speaking with toxic person again and probably a third warning with each time frame to forgive getting less and less;
4) If the toxic person disregards me, then my rule is “three strikes you’re out” of my life never able to return.
Remember, be a strong person and do not allow any type of toxicity in your life!
The real question is, are YOU willing to conform and change if you are showing toxic behavior or doing things that bothers another person? People are quick to take but they refuse to give.
Yeah... I was such in a toxic relationship....im glad i got out of it...im still having some issues....so im glad counseling helped and having a now postive bf
Being honest about your own flews is liberating, and I often have to tell myself and admit to other people that I’m wrong. What gets me is people who are never wrong no matter what they do.
you just explained the whole human race and for someone to think that they might be perfect and that none of this toxic signs apply to them or have ever applied to them means that there toxic sign is "denial" think about it
Earth-616 you seem to try finding a justification for your toxic behavior. But I have to tell you, not everyone is evil like you
@@Geteoh John 8:7 King James Version
So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
Not trying to push religion down your throat or anything like that, its just what i believe in.
My point on the comment was not to justify anything, none of us are perfect but we strive to be so. Instead of avoiding such people, why not help them by telling them this or that about them is toxic and if they see fit to continue the way they are then you can just avoid them. p.s evil is a little harsh don't you think ?
I like how this video not only points out, describes each points in detail and also lists out the examples at the end of each by asking rhetorical qs. I admit I am a toxic person and she was also matching some of these points. I want to work on these points...I want to be better and not cause harm like I did to my ex. We both were so toxic to one another and I am sorry I have hurt her. I want to work on myself so I wont repeat the same mistakes again in the future to whoever.
My mother is like this all the time and I don't want to be with her anymore but I can't get out
nicole A my goodness do I understand this situation
I'm in the same situation. I should've moved out back when I was working and planning on doing it. Now I can't even go to the grocery store without being met with one of these behaviors when I come back, so a job interview is out of the question.
These are all my husband to the nth degree. Thank god I filed for divorce.
are u in a harem? lol
@@CoxJoxSox I meant the qualities he possesses.
I hope my crush divorced. And married with me.
They're probably saying the same thing.
Mine too! Took me 30 years to figure it out. Finally separated. It isn't pretty.
Reasons I keep my circle small 😏
I had all these types of toxic (former) friends till this day some of them think we still friends....😒
funny that you dont think you have some "toxic" in you if you haven't told them youre not
LilahBadilah I have some toxic in me I can admit that nobody is perfect
My mom was so toxic it was horrible because I didnt enjoy my child hood. I longed to grow up to get out. I'm happily married and not speaking to my mom is the best thing ever
Same here, over 15+yrs now. I don't miss her at all.
Same here, no contact with her. Not even when shes dead.
@@KeyouchaWalker369 that's a bit toxic, think about when she actually cared for you. I don't know you but I'm pretty sure she tried her best
I’m proud to say my mom is toxics cuz everything he said in this one video, he explained everything my mother do to me. And I’m tired of feeling this pain
Oh my! I was dealing with people like this today! Thank you for posting this, now I know!
6 Signs You're Dealing With a Lawyer.
This is so true though
That's when they charge you for being toxic.
AlphaBetaRudyInvestments look up traits and techniques of sociopaths, psychopaths, dark triad, etc. Lawyers handbook.
LOL
I’ve always had to apologize in every argument
Just so we can stop arguing
& because I was scared 😔
Of a grown man yelling at me calling me names
I'm sorry you have to go through that. I have a a toxic older sister I get into fights with. She never admits she's in the wrong and demands an apology. Even when I point out that she's in the wrong, she says I'm being oversensitive and tells me to get over it.
I feel you. I've been with the same situation and it was draining
The only problem I have with this video is that some of these, like a person being down and negative, are causes and signs of mental problems like depression or bipolar disorder and you should not shun someone or walk away if their problem is one that is out of their control
Doesn't make them less toxic.
Craxus Alby so that means they should be shamed? Why not encourage them to get help
@@devynconrad907 no, it just means they're toxic. You could try to help them, but ask yourself whether its worth it, depends on the person as in this video if you try too hard because the person is resistant to fix themselves then you need to ask whether its worth it. Also, there is such thing as constructive criticism.
@@craxusalby9751 My one issue with Bright Side is how they tend to oversimplify everything when people are a lot more complicated than that. It's incredibly important to understand the underlying reasons as to why people act the way they do
@@zemaddonzo3504 Absolutely. I agree with that comment. That Is why I think theres also times where some people are actually hopeless