How to deal with toxic people... | Buddhism In English Q&A
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
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You can’t control what or how others treat you, but you can control yourself how to respond. Toxic people are not worth for your words, walk away or ignore them. Your silence is the best answer to them.
Master superb thank you
Forgive me for sharing this view please, because I feel, so many of us know these truths from Buddha teachings, but we overlook to acknowledge 🙏
Whatever that happens outside of us, is what's within us, it's universal law to reflect what we may feel we have healed, but if any not so good behaviours show up, it's like a check up to remind us and envisage our reaction to give clarification if we have healed or still need to work on healing.
I hope I make sense please 🙏 I feel, it is for us to thank the energies of the person who have behaved in a not so good manner so that globally we can vibrate to heal those energies in them too, so they don't have to behave in such ways to hurt others, but also heal the ones who are affected as pain is just a part of a thought that looks in the perceptions of each's own experiences.
Thank you 🙏
So true
Somehow I don't understand this point of view. We can control how ppl treat us. When unjust or toxic ppl are treated assertively, they will stop treating us like like that or be more cautious. Some sick ppl need to be ignored, but most will respond to assertiveness.
@@jasminesarahalexander the point here is you want to live in peace and happy and not to lower yourself to the same level of toxic or bad people treated you. Bad people do bad things to you doesn’t mean you do bad things back to them. They don’t deserve your words or time, walk away is best solution. By the way, control yourself is already difficult, it’s impossible to control others. May you live in peace and happy!
"Sometimes, toxic people can be found in our family." This hits me so hard.
Always
Sigh
So true
True, alwaz
Sadly so true. I am surrounded by them. Heaven and the Budda help me.
hit a little too close to home
Note to self
6:00 smile, never show your anger
6:48 weak people express anger
7:30 be the best version of yourself
9:07 don't try to prove them wrong
9:43 stay silent
10:30 love yourself
Thank you for this wonderful video 🙏
Thank you Dr. For documenting the teachings in short bullets 🙏🏽 I’ll write this down on my personal journal
Ys that's very true
Weak ppl express anger? Hmmm
@@GigiEtienne Yeah i also feel kinda weird about that one. Like shouldn't a healthy person acknowledge all their emotions?
@@GigiEtienne Expressing anger is not the same as feeling anger. We can feel angry without acting on it.
I always stay away from toxic people otherwise they'll damage you more. Ask God to surround you with God's people. Being alone gives me peace and joy, I'm not alone I'm WITH God. There's no place like being in the presence of the God. People are being killed by their BFF. BFF will betray you, jealousy, Be with God.
Not talk
Not react
Not show your angry
Not show your sad face
Only listen
--> You Not receive toxics --> They keep toxic !!
"Prove them wrong with your success, not with your words."
@@ranc1977 what if we r not intelligent or smart enough to be successful in life , then what is the solution in life ?
@@shreyasreenath9197 "what if we r not intelligent or smart enough to be successful in life"
Then you need to redefine the definition of success. And also you need to realize concept called "External reference locus of control" where herd mentality, or groupthink is forcing you to believe what is success.
The world is full of paradoxes, biases, double binding which means there is no absolute truth unless unkind or violent - there is no generally accepted truth.
If you allow other people to define truth for you - you will lose your self worth, you will lose your identity and you will develop toxic shame and mental instability - since society will give you contradictory messages how to manage, handle and make decisions in life.
Remember the donkey story - where other citizens condemn and criticize man and woman riding the donkey. Whatever they do with the donkey: ride on it, walk by it, carry it - there will always be criticism and mocking and dissatisfaction coming from other people.
Being kind and treating people with respect even when they do not deserve it, does not take much IQ, and that is successful in itself.
@@ranc1977 I need to practice it from today with lots of patience . thank you @ranc 1
@@shreyasreenath9197 Yeah, when you understand this, it will make earthquake shifts inside ourselves. For starters, we will become aware how many toxic people we attracted in our lives, it will be like awakening from coma or hypnosis, and - natural consequence will be cutting contact with many of them. This also include making new contacts or reinforcing old ones, which are more healthier.
Up next are toxic habits.
And it will be coming up with new radical ideas which may entail many changes - for the better. This is what will happen when our self worth is inside us and we are focused on it as oppose to other people's opinions and orders and criticism.
Don't give them what they expected to get. Calmness is a marvellous virtue.
Thanks very much for this information. 👏
True. Such a shame it's not one of mine. It's honestly my biggest struggle. It sounds so easy, doesn't it?
Toxic people dominate and degrade me….
I love it 🔥🌈🤭🤭😘
People need to learn not to give a shit lol
Sociopaths and narcissists use "calmness" and a soft voice to manipulate and to control, and to play innocent in order to blame the real victim.
“If you need to prove them wrong, don’t get angry with them- prove them wrong by your success!”
“Toxic people come to you to get your anger, so don’t provide that anger!” Good advice
He s my boy friendk
I’ve suffered with serious toxic people all my life it’s only very recently I’ve opened my eyes to protect myself by cutting myself off from them thank you for your video
If people disrespect you, give them
The gift of missing you
Nicky put. Thank you ♥️
Nicely put, that is 💕♥️
Yes..we have to do only this..
😅
They never miss u.. because they are not kind of that person
What a beautiful person. I have two toxic people in my life. They have caused me a lot of stress. I am very old and have had beautiful lifelong friends who sadly all passed now. I have never come across this situation before and this program has encouraged me enormously. Thank you so much, you kind and gentle man.
age just a number if u young inside I have very toxic hatefull someone my gift to him silence because he's pure evil for so many years
I love your stories
❤
🌿💛❇️💛🌿
It's been two months. Has your stress disappeared ?
I am not Buddhism... but i love this teaching. if you love your self you wont your self get angry...
What the world needs is more love and kindness ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
Intelligence
Walking away from toxic people is a therapeutic step forward & positive. No words need to be exchanged, just a letting go, is all that's needed.
You'll only know how great the feeling is, once you do it.
Thankyou
I agree completely & live by this 🙏
Yes walking away is a solution but what if they start triggering you.
How can we let go everytime?
@@sakshibagga3771 it’s hard, so hard, but not impossible. The more you practice, the easier it will get. Don’t beat yourself up for slipping up, just commit to trying again the next time. Something that helped me was asking myself if I wanted this person to have power over me, because when someone gets a reaction out of you, that is their power over you. Nobody treating you poorly should get that power. Besides, what they want is to get a rise out of you, so by not reacting or by walking away, you completely remove their power over you, you deny them what they want, and, most importantly, you are protecting your peace. ❤️🩹 You got this!
how I walk away from super toxic mother/brother-in-law?
Smiling at angry, toxic , screaming ppl can be dangerous in certain situations. Your smile- no matter how positive- can be misinterpreted as arrogance and sarcasm, and the situation can easily escalate
Lara D true
I knew i felt uneasy about his advice, and you articulated it well why. These are impossible standards to meet to be completely unphased by a dude screaming at you.
The message is not that you should smile at angry people. It’s that you shouldn’t let their anger and harsh words in your head.
Yes, I love what he says but I have to agree with that. I vividly remember one time i decided to try not to hear what my husband was screaming at me, just be positive and smile..he got so angry I had to run out of the house and hide in the woods. I guess the advice is good if you sre dealing with normal people, but not with batshit crazy ones.
100% correct! “WIPE that SMILE off your face or I’ll do it for you!”
Have been blessed with times when people were ‘blame shifting’ or ‘shame dumping’ on me & was instantly able to see that it was THEIR ISSUE & my silent look was one of curiosity on many levels.
it just hits different when the toxic people are your own blood
I'm Christian but I always love listening to the wonderful Buddhist teachings❤
@user. Yes, both Buddha & Jesus taught loving kindness. And when we view the world & respond to it from a spiritual perspective we are protected by the Dhamma.❤
Ten Wholesome Ways
1. No killing
2. No stealing
3. No sexual misconduct
4. No lying
5. No abusive speech
6. No slander
7. No enticing speech
8. No greed
9. No anger and
10. No ignorance/delusion/attachment
11. Be vegan.
That would go against point #1.
Plants are living beings.
@tansuee7757 What do you mean by No sexual misconduct?
@@globe2555 lol, raping or misconducting with other humans , except ur accepted partners .. it's for lay men , afterall monks don't have partners but eventhey can misconduct , so simply as that ... it's to remove ur lust ..
@@rabbitcreative That should be on the top of the list
Veganism is the future
❤️Budhisam ❤️ is not a religion ❤️it is Culture of uplifting life values ❤️ peace ❤️calm ❤️ happiness ❤️ Life ❤️❤️love u supreme BUDDHA ❤️❤️..
It is a philosophy which encourages you to dig down and find and apply your own philosophy ❤
Thank you for this video. I prefer not to think of the problem as "toxic people" but to think of it as toxicity in people in general.
Most people aren't toxic people, but many are capable of toxic behaviors sometimes and it's important to know how to deal with that when it happens.
I love this.
Master, i am a Catholic, I learnt this afternoon from my lady colleague, that a male colleague, who is new, made false allegation against me etc etc. The interesting part of me is, I didn’t feel anything, like anger, hurt etc. because I know the Lord is with me. I also remember your sharing, always smile
I have always justified toxic people.. I believe toxic people are just victims of their own stories, experiences, decisions etc. But I came to the point where instead of letting them draining me, my happiness and my energies I put a distance with them, to me that’s the way to love them but to love myself too
I so much agree n believe the same, it'll not easy though, but I try as much possible.. Coz of course I distance myself Or nott even enter that place, but the thoughts are there in mind which somewhere hurts me badly..
But still I try to avoid such people.. And keep telling them in mind.. God bless you 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
So true they are projecting their own fears on us !
"That's the way to love them but to love myself, too." Thank you for this. ❤
It is not your job to save anyone and you will be go down with them if you try to save them! This isn’t Christianity which is the point lol
Everyone is basically in a 3-foot deep kiddy pool choosing to drown and refuse to just stand up and stop drowning
ධර්මය මේ ආකාරයට මුලු ලෝකයටම ප්රචාරනය කරන ආකාරය දැක්කම සතුටු කදුලු එනවා...
I'm here again listening to you. I seriously appreciate you very much. Your videos help me so much to become better. Namo budhaya 🙏❤️🇵🇭
Your smiling face and silence is answer for those toxic people nice sermon. Never provide them what they want 👏
I think it's helpful to remember that at some point in all of our lives, we have manifested toxic behavior. This humble realization can allow one to develop true empathy and compassion. That being said, one should try to remove oneself from abusive situations when possible.
True! Also you can manifest toxic behavior just from the environment and/or people around you! Please don’t always point the finger at yourself! As the culprit
Yes
Wow! This is so true and humbling. Wise words for those of us on the journey.
absolutely true.
I don't think so only those who think they are too great turn out to be toxic I have never done anything toxic so far
I am a big fan of Buddha's teachings because it not only soothes me but calms my mind and body. His teachings develop a sense of positivity not only around but also in my own aura. Sharnam buddham ghachami 🙏🏼
I am so proud to hear when someone praises our lord buddha.he is above all the gods and brahmas in this universe.thank you for mentioning good about our lord Buddha.
what about a WADDDLING TORNADO Woman huge ranting irate woman!
@@stepstoknowinggod PM
@@kalpanikaushalya2948 I’m
Smiling and looking at the toxic person! From Gautama Buddha k!
So glad I watched this again! This is now at the top of my Health folder.
This video reminds us that we have the power to choose how we respond to toxic people and situations. By cultivating inner peace and focusing on our own growth, we can create a positive ripple effect and potentially even inspire positive change in those around us.
ඔබ වහන්සේට මේ ජීවිතයේදීම උතුම් චතුරාර්ය සත්ය අවබෝධ කර ගැනීමට වාසනාව ලැබේවා 🙏🙏🙏
🙏❤
എന്താണ് ചതുർഭുജ സത്യങ്ങൾ
Dukkha, Samudaya, Nirodha & Marga.
The Four Noble Truths
They are the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. More simply put, suffering exists; it has a cause; it has an end; and it has a cause to bring about its end.
@@elizabethvarghese5511 The Four Noble Truths are central teachings in Buddhism that outline the nature of suffering and the path to its cessation. They were the first teachings given by the Buddha after his enlightenment.
1. Dukkha: The Truth of Suffering
- **Understanding Dukkha**: The first noble truth is often summarized as "life is suffering," but this is an oversimplification. Dukkha encompasses not only overt suffering like pain and sorrow but also a more subtle dissatisfaction that pervades all forms of life due to impermanence. Even joy and happiness are seen as dukkha because they are impermanent and eventually lead to suffering when they cease.
- **Types of Dukkha**: Traditionally, dukkha is categorized into three types:
1. **Dukkha-dukkha**: The suffering of suffering. This refers to obvious suffering and pain.
2. **Viparinama-dukkha**: The suffering of change. This refers to the suffering caused by the change, such as the loss of loved ones or the end of pleasure.
3. **Sankhara-dukkha**: The suffering of conditioning. This is a more subtle form of suffering that arises from our mental formations and attachments, even in the absence of overt pain or change.
### 2. Samudaya: The Truth of the Cause of Suffering
- **The Role of Desire**: The second truth identifies desire or craving as the root cause of suffering. This includes not just desires for pleasure but also the desire for existence or non-existence.
- **Three Types of Desire**:
1. **Kama-tanha**: Craving for sensual pleasures.
2. **Bhava-tanha**: Craving for existence, or becoming.
3. **Vibhava-tanha**: Craving for non-existence, or cessation.
### 3. Nirodha: The Truth of the Cessation of Suffering
- **Achieving Nirvana**: The cessation of suffering is achieved by extinguishing tanha (craving). Nirvana, the ultimate goal of Buddhism, is a state of liberation and freedom from suffering. It's described as a state of peace and release where there is no more craving, aversion, or delusion.
### 4. Magga: The Truth of the Path to the Cessation of Suffering
- **The Noble Eightfold Path**: This is the practical guideline to ethical and mental development with the goal of freeing the individual from attachments and delusions; it leads to understanding the truth of all things. It is often divided into three core sections:
1. **Wisdom (Panna)**:
- Right View: Understanding the Four Noble Truths.
- Right Intention: Commitment to ethical and mental self-improvement.
2. **Ethical Conduct (Sila)**:
- Right Speech: Speaking truthfully and kindly.
- Right Action: Acting in non-harmful ways.
- Right Livelihood: A non-harmful occupation.
3. **Mental Discipline (Samadhi)**:
- Right Effort: Cultivating positive states of mind.
- Right Mindfulness: Being aware and mindful of thoughts, feelings, and actions.
- Right Concentration: Developing deep concentration through meditation.
### Practical Application
To apply these truths in one's life, one begins with understanding and accepting the reality of suffering and its cause. Practicing mindfulness and meditation helps in observing one's mind and reducing attachments and aversions. Ethical living strengthens this practice by minimizing harm to oneself and others, creating a supportive environment for spiritual growth.
The Eightfold Path is not necessarily sequential; it's a holistic practice where progress in one area can support growth in others. By walking this path, one gradually uproots the causes of suffering, leading to greater peace, liberation, and enlightenment.
Thank you
Iam dealing with my whole toxic family ..Iam too scared to get any news from them .. it’s alway stressful thing and troubles time after time for 20 year..
And they expect me to take care of thier problems and finances..
Just like it’s my job and responsibility for all of them ..
I live my family a lot but they treat me like dirt and no respect to me ..
I have enough of them .. I cut the contact with them and living happily ever after ..
They will never change and I feel hurt for a long line time until I recognize they all toxic to me ..and they all selfish ..
So true, I wish we could get away from toxic relationships, but they are a result of our own karmic accounts with them. It is better to finish the accounts in this life itself so that there is hope to get harmonious happy people in next life. For me there is no escape...so, I drown myself in spiritual activities and knowledge. It gives a lot of solace .
May Almighty God bless this monk ❤️🙏
I am loving the lessons from Buddha, I'm dealing with toxic people in my life now. This is a good lesson.
Claire Willatt. If you want to learn and understand more about God’s Word in depth. Listen to this podcast titled, Steps To Knowing God
It’s available on all podcast platforms and it will help you grow spiritually. Blessings
@@stepstoknowinggod it’s my understanding Buddha is not god… sooo what are you promoting?? Just curious what your message is here…
@@suecastillo4056 exactly! Buddha is not God and will never be God. Am promoting the the true and living God. The creator of the heavens and earth.
@@suecastillo4056 - ❤️ your ‘SILENCE’.
@@stepstoknowinggod omg Bible basher
This is so true … I recently did this to a violent man that is used to deal with people in a bad way. He kept silence after I said to him: I’m so full of joy that nothing can’t disturb the peace inside of my soul
powerful words
Was he really a violent person??
@@rruwanweerasinghe4482 yes … it was, unfortunately
Oh I love that! Well done 🙂
Edit: in how you handled it. I hope you're not around that person anymore and are safe
To me the best thing to do is stay away or cut off the relationship whether they’re family or friends…. “Out of sight out of mind.”
Just wanted to leave a comment for this buddhist monk, thankyou.
Your videos have helped me so much with my depression and anxiety, in such a very short time.
I appreciate you sharing your teachings with all of the world 🌎 ❤
Are you incorporating buddhist wisdom more in your life?
i think it is best to stay away from toxic people, they bring one down,and they talk nonsense and insist you listen, because they think they are always right, they take no notice of what one says, they don't like one to have an opinion, it can be very depressing.
@@manasirpriyogaan9438 thankyou, rose
You nailed it.
I am suffering from toxic people,i saw this video and this video totally teaches me how to stay away from toxic people and now I am feeling better. My mind feels relaxing 😊
❤
My 42yr old daughter is mean.My anxiety is so bad because of the games she plays. She is vindictive towards me. My anxiety is so bad.And she lives inside me.There is no getting away
Life is a mysterious experience and we can always learn something along the way, being it good or bad ❤ stay safe
When I became a student of Vipassana, that story of the Buddha was shared with us. I loved it. Thank you so much. Thank you for words of truth.
This is a wonderful teaching and very timely for me. Peace to all who hear this teaching. May all beings be free from suffering. 🙏☸️
Great advice, 🙏
So true but easier said than done
🙏❤
This is practical advise. When somebody is yelling at you or abusing you, it is his problem, not yours. Just think that something is wrong with them....he is suffering from some issues...
Good advice. I dont smile I dont talk but keep quiet . But it takes on my health.
Yea this is very true its 2023 so far I've been letting go of toxic people and family members and neighbors in my neighborhood so I've been ignoring toxic people now I'm focusing on my big goals and dreams in my notebook and been doing meditation for 5 years I learn everyday and been getting better of making me happy everyday 😎👍🏽
🙏🙏
ruclips.net/video/54nXUl_4WZ4/видео.html
What a session!! I have always reacted horribly when attacked or treated badly. Now i know the wise to handle that. Many thanks
He doesnt have to talk when i see him smile i feel immediately calm and peacfull...
Wow it helped me so much. Yesterday, I faced this situation at work where it was not my mistake still some1 scold at me. I tried to explain myself first but the person kept on blaming me. Then I said sorry. Coming back home I was disturbed & thinking why I didn’t reply differently. But You said it right sometimes Silence is the best answer.
I noticed toxic people insists on TALKING to you…, you see whether they’re aware of it or not when you actually speak you release your energy and the toxic person feeds on that. They get better and stronger and you get their garbage and lose your good energy. Ignore them .
Not all
This is so true. I have noticed this also. And they will seek you out. They know that you're avoiding them, but they will literally hunt you down.
Relatable
Correct! These people just want to get into a conversation and they are quite desperate in doing so. Their dedication is highly commendable. 😂🤦
I have a lot of toxic people in my life and most of the time if someone yells at me I yell at them but now I learned that I should be positive in front of bad people after watching your video, thank you❤❤❤❤
I don’t understand what you say as hello and goodbye but you are a beautiful person in the world!! I am and will keep listen to your wisdom, as a goodbye: lots of love and success being this kind 🙏
Makes sense, when I'm angry, I can't see or hear, but my mouth is going 100mph... Silence is the key. I must practice this technique. Thank you kind person
People can throw the ball at you but you don't have to catch it...and then throw it back.... you can simply allow the ball to fly straight past you as though it was never even thrown (as its had no effect on you whatsoever)!
Sending peace and love to all ♥️
Yeah....what if the ball hits you in the eye, breaks your glasses and you need medical attention.
Pay it no mind, just smile, it's just a toxic ball in your face.
This. Thank you. 😊
What happens when that ball smashes you in the face while unaware of it in front of many familiar people who laugh hysterically aiming to humiliate you?
Sometimes the ball hits you in the head though.
Wow❤
Working in healthcare can be a tough experience, especially when interacting with difficult people you choose to help. I see many examples of the kind of person I don't want to become. I am in control and the universe will deal with them.
Really a great lesson ❤❤
It's actually better to be in a holy unviolent silent path leading to success rather than to be on the path of anger and revenge. 💞💞
Words of wisdom. I have toxic neighbors who used to really make me angry and sad. But I liked your advice to never let them see your angry/sad face because thats giving them what they want! Namaste
Me too; I was offered mediation, but I thought that once they know for sure the impact of their behaviour, that will encourage them to continue.
People don't have the power to hurt us.
The emotion of hurt is created by us alone.
This is the essence of Stoicism as well. 😊🙏🏻
Thank you so much sir.... U saved my life mentally..cause i was dying inside my mind..... It was killing me from inside ... ☘️
I am muslim but I follow gautam buddah and it makes me such a good human.. I always watch your videos and try to improve my self as I can do…and have a dream to meet with you gurujiiii face to face. Namo budhdhai..💐🌺
Remember your own religion...it is all there as well
Keeping silence n bursting with tears ..why can't people love n care as we do..why they don't see that they are hurting someone's feelings..😭
I was a Christian for 30 years . Till I discovered that if the kingdom of God is within us….. we must go within through meditation . So grateful that I was lead to discover this truth !
Good one mate. Charles Bukowski and Allan Watts, will remind you, you are a miracle, a God. Hoe amazing life is .. 'aroha' from New Zealand. Nicko
I heard the saying that prayer is you talking to the universe and meditation is the universe talking to you. I find listening to be preferable to talking.
@@cherylkeys1284 - Well ‘SAID’.
Same here. Namaste.
I like this Mexican Buddhist
Yes-- just as we have to pretend to be brave when we are shivering with fear -- that is real bravery
This speech gave me relaxation and I will remember forever
Every day I come across so many lack of commonsense people
I was literally in this moment about an hour ago. And the treatment and words I received was hard for me to hear and be treated as such. I prayed so hard in my mind I wanted to cry from the hurt but I made it guy’s
Dionna. If you want to learn and understand more about God’s Word in depth. Listen to this podcast titled, Steps To Knowing God
It’s available on all podcast platforms and it will help you grow spiritually. Blessings
Buddha means happiness.!.. .
You did it and you are the real diciple of lord Buddha
Aw! Congratulations! I truly relate!! 🫂
ruclips.net/video/SN1jXJvu31I/видео.html
පින්වත් ස්වාමීන් වහන්සේට මාගේ නමස්කාරය වේවා !!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼May triple gem bless ,everybody who listened this great dhamma...🙏🙏🌼🌼
This is great. Reminds me of the saying that anger is a poison you want to give to others , but you end up drinking yourself.
This is so true and it is amazing how people suddenly change before your eyes.
Thank you... I have been surrounded by toxic people my whole life😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒but I grateful to those who still make me happy in different ways....🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
There is so much love and kindness in your eyes that I find you incredible healing. Thank you for helping us. So appreciate.
I like that Buddha approach to deal with negative people. When you react to people’s wrongdoing you get matters worse for yourself. Treat them with kindness, even if your ego is hurting inside and wants to retaliate, do not allow that ego to act, the outcome will be much better.
You have such a beautiful face! Your kindness radiates from every facial expression you make. You’ve really inspired me. Thank you🥰
Thanks. I needed this today.
I have a student (im a teacher) who is very toxic. This was a lovely lesson.
This video absolutely helped me so much right now. I have a toxic family. Thank you so much and I hope that this video keeps reaching people🥺❤
I understand you, I feel you.
I first got into Buddhism when I found a temple when I was stationed overseas . Since I’ve gotten out and moved back home and have no temple/monastery to go to here I’ve been lacking a teacher and resorting solely to books . Your videos have been incredibly helpful , your beautiful words of kindness and how your present the teachings is such a wonderful thing . Thank you for sharing with us
Life changing words 'If you have done mistake correct it, otherwise leave it behind dont care about that'.
You are right. Love and kindness are more important than anger.
beneath anger lies grief
I always try to keep silent when dealing with toxic situations with those people but acting is very hard and complicated when expressing our inner feelings within our facial expressions. I think I have to more practice to improve my mentality to be strong. Thank you very much for your valuble thoughts .....🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Great ! I had been listening to different versions of this story. But the way you explained is fantastic and made me listen to your talk again.
I am aware when I get angry and realise it exposes my weak mind.
Hence in the process of acquiring that state of compassion, self-love, calmness and positivity.
Thank you on this Guru poornima Day!
True
I am a believer in keeping silent when I deal with the toxic person in my life. You see, when he is abusing me verbally, I have found that by reacting, no matter how innocently, like sometimes I have said I didn’t do that it’s not my fault. You see saying that always makes him say more rude things to me. So ifHe says rude things to me, I usually just sit and innocently listen to his crap. I have tried to defend myself, and he never listens to my self-defense or supports me in any way when he is being abusive.
👏🏾👏🏾
Yes me too. It’s so hard when it’s your family hurting you. I also am working on this. Not reacting.
I think you are fantastic. I can't stop watching you.
A simple smile can be so disharming, I've used it with bullies when I was young, and then with toxic relatives, etc ppl never expect it in these situations and they found themselves stuck with their own toxic behavior/intentions. A smile especially in these situations is a sign of Strengh that stop these ppl in their tracks, they immediately realize they have no power over you
Excellent video-but remember NO CONTACT with those that hurt you with on going abuse (including relatives-family members) otherwise you become part of the problem (victimology and you become angry and will lash out)-and no judgment-we can’t judge however we need to stay away from them!
I don't think the Buddha taught to cut people off.
@@hellofromdave actually my friend a catholic priest on EWTN just commented sometimes it’s best to stay away from someone to avoid sin! I wonder if a monk would agree?
@@hellofromdave NO CONTACT with those that hurt you---mentally or physically. Blessings to all that do not understand or have not experienced this kind of hurt in their lives...yet
@@christophercardenas157 but the best thing is to train your mind to not be affected by toxic people. Avoiding them is not the best way. But if you feel like you can't do it yet it's better to avoid. But if you learn how to not be affected then even if you meet toxic people in the future you can live without pain
@@lillilmeowmeow4262 Avoiding them is...the best way...it's better to avoid...(and) not be affected (by) toxic people...(then) in the (present and) future you can live without pain. Again, Blessings to all that do not understand or have not experienced this kind of... toxic people... hurt in their lives...yet
බොහොම පින් ස්වාමින්වහන්ස මේ වටිනා ධර්ම කරුණු කියලා දෙනවට.......
🙏❤
Thank you so very much for your wisdom and guidance. My workplace is full of them. Need to learn how to master this skill.
When I lived in the West, the ppl who insult are expected to correct themselves and apologise / reconcile.
When I lived in Asia (Hong Kong), ppl feel entitled to insulting/rude everyday. So the way to cope is from yourself.
This wisdom is much clearer to adopt when in Asia, rather than in the West.
"thus have I heard" - One of the great Buddhist teachers (Atisha?) of long ago traveled from India to Tibet , choosing to take along a very difficult man to assist him so that he could practice meeting the challenges of a difficult companion.
When I see this there, I feel he is so happy to teach us Buddhism and also he is a smiling thero.
Thank you very much your beautiful words healing me, I'm in a toxic situation I cry every day under my blankets, I hope one day God will take me out of this situation I'm facing right now.
When someone insults and shouts at me (and I've been doing that since my earliest years), I smile painfully and then I think about whether I'm really wrong, but not in the form of guilt - rather in the form of improving myself. And as an older person, I started to write down insults and put them as tasks to fix OR use those insults as literary reading and write a poem. It's not painless or easy, but over time it becomes a useful lifestyle model. Insults as writing material. Whoever has this gift can use it as their own psychotherapy and it is beautiful to feel pain and joy in one moment.
Great advice! Remember folks you have to practise this for a long time before you get good at it in every situation.
Totally agree...been experienced with my neighbor just listening for their lies and just smile at them every time we see each other☺️Namo Buddhaya!
Thank you so much, i will just continue to be silent and ignore my toxic neighbor😊
I agree that weak people expreses anger. The best answer is to ignore, in spite of it isn't easy of doing IT. Thanks for this video. 👍🏻
Two biggest weakness of a man is if He talks when He needs to be silence and if He become silence when He needs to talk. As Buddah says in mangala sutta. "Aseywanacha Baalanan" Keep away and do not associate with less intelligent and less intellectual people. This would help us to avoid toxic people. Second thing is to understand and listen to such people with absolute silence if you cant avoid them in any situation. When you listen more carefully you will know the root course of his or her toxic nature and use your intellectuality to deal with in peaceful manner.
Heavy🤔🤔
Thank you for sharing Don.
Great wisdom.
This simple statements shows us an easier path.
So, basically cut people off all day and give them the silent Treatment even before they we're toxic.
Nice self-fulfilling Prophecy you got there Mr. Righteous. Cheers ;)
Never wrestle with a pig in mud. You both get dirty and the pig enjoys it.
Something similar happened to me a little while ago and ı dealt with it by standing up and saying that I was not prepared to be spoken to so very aggressively and rudely and left. As you advise I did not engage but simply removed myself from the situation as I was too shocked to deal with it any other way and concerned for my own welfare as I have a cardiac condition. I did find your discourse on this problem very useful and a wonderful learning opportunity.
Namo buddhaya.🧖🧖🧖🧖🧖🧖🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼
Such an inspiration. Unfortunately it’s true some toxic people comes from our own family. I feel it rn 😢
This day and age we hve too many toxic people. The walk all over u.. these days if u are not rich enough then no one wants to be with u.. its shocking when ur parents die. Ur siblings turn against u. It's c very sad. So I stay away frm Toxic people and their drama. I'm happy the way I live.. I love Buddism and respect it very mch. It's true when someone tells u something in an when they are 😠 angry it all depends hw u respond. Thank u. ❤
Actually I thought people around me will understand me and help me in tough times. Now after knowing abt toxic people and experimenting it practically I found that 99% of people around me r very toxic. These many days I was expecting some support from them but now I understood no one will support me. I have to support myself. Thank you Sir for ur lectures. I will constantly hear ur lectures.
We have to live with toxic people. Noble lessons for us. Many thanks 🙏🙏🙏
Love listening to you you make me happy every day I can't wait to hear your voice you make so much sense.❤
I'm very grateful to have come across this video, recently I've been treated rudely and I was hurt but after watching this video, it makes me feel at ease and I can actually let go of the anger🙏🙏
A positive attitude goes a long way...
Have to deal with toxic people every day. They are the sort of people who are looking for trouble; if they can’t find a reason to cause trouble, they will create one. Used to frequently get revenge on them but now I don’t do that so often. I know that is what they want; it gives their sad lives meaning. I now take the middle road, I don’t let them stop me from doing what I want to do but I seldom get revenge. Most of the time I can ignore them and get on with my life. These days when a person is rude to me I take the attitude that it says nothing about me, but a hell of a lot about them. If an evil man offers you a present 🎁 you don’t have to accept it!
Thanku so much..i needed it the most today...and tomorrow I will handle the situation just like this .and I am sure ...i am going to win it with compassion ❤...
Thank you. Namo Buddhaya. 🙏🙏🙏🌹🌹🌹👍👍👍💐💐💐❤️❤️❤️
In the morning 🔆, I just love listening to him. Simple yet productive.
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It’s available on all podcast platforms and it will help you grow spiritually. Blessings
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