Dumb Lawyer Quotes IRL but in Ace Attorney 2

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  • Опубликовано: 22 дек 2024

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  • @Chessete
    @Chessete  4 года назад +14073

    A number of people have been asking if there are full court transcripts of each case which the answer is no. The sources only take snippets of these different cases and put those along with other snippets. Most but not all of these are from sites who took these transcripts from Steven D. Price and Charles M. Sevilla who were lawyers and wrote books recording these silly things said in real court recordings. You can find the case names in those books but I highly doubt you will find the case transcripts from just the names online. Thanks for watching!
    ALSO the third one just premiered go check it out: ruclips.net/video/JfcMEMmSOFE/видео.html

    • @engineergaming1669
      @engineergaming1669 4 года назад +20

      K

    • @kuroneko3230
      @kuroneko3230 4 года назад +167

      Can we get the sources?

    • @janLilin
      @janLilin 4 года назад +101

      Yeah that's great but what are the books titles

    • @revolvingworld2676
      @revolvingworld2676 4 года назад +84

      @@janLilin
      Nust google the authors names bro and search the books they wrote.

    • @Wanderingsocks
      @Wanderingsocks 4 года назад +16

      I appreciate the addition of the music.these are great

  • @demonman905
    @demonman905 4 года назад +15100

    "If I wasn't under oath, I would have returned the compliment."
    We just witnessed a brutal murder in the court room.

    • @furiousfurry
      @furiousfurry 3 года назад +438

      I don't think its an insult
      Edit: ok I dint know what an oath was and now I'm being brutally massacred

    • @tyruskarmesin5418
      @tyruskarmesin5418 3 года назад +1202

      @@furiousfurry It is. He can’t lie under oath, so he’s saying that calling the lawyer intelligent and honest would be a lie.

    • @Pharomid
      @Pharomid 3 года назад +173

      @@furiousfurry if I was under oath, I wouldn't call you intelligent.

    • @variouspeople6196
      @variouspeople6196 3 года назад +30

      @@furiousfurry if I was under oath then I would be making this comment

    • @jessegd6306
      @jessegd6306 3 года назад +135

      I haven't witnessed a man be so brutally massacred in a courtroom since Caesar.

  • @elijahdage5523
    @elijahdage5523 4 года назад +10135

    Ace attorney, but the lawyers haven't slept in several days

  • @miked5163
    @miked5163 4 года назад +3217

    1:46 requires its own homicide trial holy shit

    • @AxolinaAxolotl
      @AxolinaAxolotl 3 года назад +23

      i don’t get it pls explain

    • @ThatExplo
      @ThatExplo 3 года назад +425

      @@AxolinaAxolotl Under oath, you cannot lie.
      He is saying that returning the compliment would be a lie.

    • @littlefishbigmountain
      @littlefishbigmountain 3 года назад +76

      @@ThatExplo
      Technically, you _can_ lie, but you would be risking felony charges of perjury

    • @Valcuda
      @Valcuda 3 года назад +44

      @@littlefishbigmountain just like how you can commit murder, but then you'd be facing charges of man slaughter

    • @justacrazyguy1929
      @justacrazyguy1929 3 года назад +20

      @@Valcuda depends, you can face charges of either manslaughter or murder (1st, 2nd or 3rd degree, even though 3rd degree is basically the same as manslaughter) depending on the situation

  • @christopheredwards8219
    @christopheredwards8219 3 года назад +4324

    I love the way Nick is just "Now's my time to shine" and then proceeds to be stupid at the speed of light.

    • @RanMouri82
      @RanMouri82 2 года назад +92

      The Sonic of stupidity. Gotta go fast!

    • @MrGemHunter
      @MrGemHunter 2 года назад +57

      its high level witness badgering

    • @vadandrumist1670
      @vadandrumist1670 Год назад +86

      That moment and the followup with Apollo gives me the impression that they knew exactly what they were doing, then Edgeworth went along with it to troll Iris as hard as possible.

    • @darkacadpresenceinblood
      @darkacadpresenceinblood Год назад +38

      this is just actual ace attorney (at least when i play, after all i'm the one making Phoenix do the stupid shit💀)

    • @crescent_sun482
      @crescent_sun482 Год назад

      ​@@darkacadpresenceinbloodit's in character, he's a dumbass (I mean that as affectionately as possible)

  • @errorsyntax404wontworth6
    @errorsyntax404wontworth6 3 года назад +5618

    “I would return the compliment if I wasn’t under oath.” Is such an Ace Attorney line. I would be surprised if it wasn’t in the game.

    • @prinnywizzard9608
      @prinnywizzard9608 3 года назад +229

      It felt like it was the right person delivering it, too :D

    • @zoeyoprey7406
      @zoeyoprey7406 Год назад +248

      If they talked about being under oath in AA, they’d have to acknowledge that lying in court is an actual crime, and we couldn’t have that

    • @yugimuto1639
      @yugimuto1639 Год назад +62

      ​@@zoeyoprey7406they actually did but most of the time it is ignored (I don't remember when though)

    • @Whispersmith646
      @Whispersmith646 11 месяцев назад +55

      ​@@zoeyoprey7406 in great ace attorney case 3 they mention perjury

    • @whilenya4714
      @whilenya4714 5 месяцев назад +36

      ​@@Whispersmith646 They do also mention perjury somewhere in the original trilogy, I think.

  • @luigiclone0286
    @luigiclone0286 4 года назад +1699

    Me: *asking genuine questions because i didn't understand the subject*
    What the teacher thinks i am asking:

    • @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410
      @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 3 года назад +11

      When you crack the apple open:

    • @regularhuman7939
      @regularhuman7939 3 года назад +62

      what you are asking: Can't we use Cos2A = 1 - 2Sin²A on the left hand side and get RHS in 4 steps?
      what the teacher heard: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"

    • @crestfire8008
      @crestfire8008 2 года назад +5

      Ouch to my heart

    • @zes3813
      @zes3813 22 дня назад +1

      wrr, no such thing as dx or etc, say, askx etc any nmw and any s perfx

    • @iamthemouse4483
      @iamthemouse4483 16 дней назад

      ​@@regularhuman7939When you understand just enough to be confidently stupid.

  • @IMeanIt100
    @IMeanIt100 4 года назад +10974

    "was that the same nose you broke as a child" sounds like a normal ace attorney twist

  • @FusionArmorX
    @FusionArmorX 4 года назад +21679

    "You forgot? How can you forget? Give us an example of something you forgot!"
    This sounds like it wouldn't be out of place in an actual Ace Attorney game.

  • @lavagarden
    @lavagarden 2 года назад +100

    "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
    No sir, I actually replace my nose every 3 years.

  • @coraobear
    @coraobear 3 года назад +4777

    "Doctor, do you recall the time you examined the body?"
    "The autopsy started around 8PM."
    "And he was dead at the time?"
    "If not, he was dead by the time I finished"
    *This is concerning and hilarious at the same time*

    • @roetemeteor
      @roetemeteor 2 года назад +244

      Well, I mean if someone asks if you the Performed an autopsy, by the time you're done, they are going to be dead. There's pretty much no question there, so it's a little late to worry about it.

    • @Darkness_Fuchsia
      @Darkness_Fuchsia Год назад +105

      @@roetemeteor autopsy, not to be confounded with necropsy
      One of them has a 100% death rate while the other is probably around 20%

    • @lilylunamoonyt
      @lilylunamoonyt Год назад +23

      Trafalgar law in a nutshell

    • @MasquedMocha
      @MasquedMocha 5 месяцев назад +7

      @@lilylunamoonyt LMAO YES

    • @lilylunamoonyt
      @lilylunamoonyt 5 месяцев назад +5

      @@MasquedMocha hello fellow person of culture, glad to see someone understood my reference :D

  • @Hop445
    @Hop445 4 года назад +17762

    "How many times have you committed suicide?"
    "... Four times."

  • @usernamesarestupid7104
    @usernamesarestupid7104 4 года назад +12431

    "How far apart were the cars during the collision" I'm so dumb. I did not see anything wrong with this statement

    • @Chessete
      @Chessete  4 года назад +2622

      Happens to the best of us

    • @humanmaleboy
      @humanmaleboy 4 года назад +1610

      These questions are meant to confuse the witnesses by asking them the same questions in different ways

    • @GalacticHero_
      @GalacticHero_ 4 года назад +755

      It isn’t wrong. The witness needs to be telling the truth. If they aren’t, then they’d say two inches apart

    • @ww6372
      @ww6372 4 года назад +657

      Its interesting, because if "during" was replaced with "before" or "after" the answers grow by a lot. Its very possible to send a car flying, but those are usually fatal cases

    • @timvangeene4949
      @timvangeene4949 4 года назад +41

      me too

  • @SketcherSquared
    @SketcherSquared 4 года назад +8293

    i think these were meant to be psychological questions but they just sound really dumb

    • @TheMultiRaphael
      @TheMultiRaphael 4 года назад +786

      when he asked if he did the authopsy on a dead person, he ALMOST got an accusation

    • @longdeadchannel8311
      @longdeadchannel8311 4 года назад +486

      They do really be trying to confuse the witness

    • @FarrellDanuhardi
      @FarrellDanuhardi 4 года назад +89

      Did someone say "P S Y C H O L O G Y"?!

    • @RequestTheSinger
      @RequestTheSinger 4 года назад +422

      "How old is your son?"
      "38 or 35 i can't remember"
      "How long as your son lived with you?"
      "45 years"
      that's a psychology question?

    • @billystorm7135
      @billystorm7135 4 года назад +26

      @@RequestTheSinger *45 years

  • @charleskimball7058
    @charleskimball7058 2 года назад +2003

    “Doctor, are you absolutely positive the victim you examined is dead?”
    “ We’ll, I suppose it’s possible he’s alive and practicing law somewhere.”

    • @baofleurence7650
      @baofleurence7650 10 месяцев назад +224

      How do you know he was dead ?
      Because his brain was in a jar on my desk.
      But are you sure he was dead ?
      No, it is possible that he was alive and practicing law somewhere.

    • @Blacksnowfanfics
      @Blacksnowfanfics 5 месяцев назад +9

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @ArcanineEspeon
      @ArcanineEspeon 4 месяца назад +10

      Ohhhh that's an oldy but a goodie.

    • @Frostfern94
      @Frostfern94 2 месяца назад +4

      @@baofleurence7650T H A T is the one I was waiting for! It’s my favourite

  • @anxia-tea5846
    @anxia-tea5846 2 года назад +89

    “Apollo, are you ready to say the dumbest shit in your life?”

  • @Unknown-kq7mg
    @Unknown-kq7mg 4 года назад +4174

    I'm surprised that Edgeworth didn't update the autopsy.

    • @LendriMujina
      @LendriMujina 4 года назад +327

      Added details: "was performed on a dead person"

    • @TornadoZX825
      @TornadoZX825 4 года назад +52

      the trial started at 8:01pm

    • @joveegillen6966
      @joveegillen6966 4 года назад +63

      I know you're kidding, but I wanted to say this anyway: at least in America, it's legally required that both parties have access to all the same evidence, so that's probably why that didn't happen.

    • @Karasvoid
      @Karasvoid 3 года назад +29

      @@joveegillen6966 yeah, but in Japan you can do that

    • @BimpytheWimpyShrimpy
      @BimpytheWimpyShrimpy 3 года назад +14

      @@Karasvoid You foolish fool! _everyone_ knows Ace Attorney is set in California!

  • @Aaronmajowskavitz
    @Aaronmajowskavitz 4 года назад +15049

    "If i weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment." ... bro Klavier needs to CHILL tf out he chose violence damn

    • @shalax7881
      @shalax7881 4 года назад +581

      Local lawyer gets murdered

    • @Hala-k
      @Hala-k 4 года назад +469

      @@shalax7881 but in the autopsy was the lawyer really dead? 🤔🤔

    • @atlasreborn7221
      @atlasreborn7221 4 года назад +275

      @@Hala-k Oral

    • @Hala-k
      @Hala-k 4 года назад +11

      @@atlasreborn7221 :0

    • @centrifugedestroyer2579
      @centrifugedestroyer2579 3 года назад +53

      His name literally means "piano" in German. That threw me off for a second...

  • @cyber_dragon_123
    @cyber_dragon_123 4 года назад +10462

    "All your responses from now on must be oral, okay?
    What school did you go to?"
    *"Oral."*

    • @denkerbosu3551
      @denkerbosu3551 3 года назад +642

      "How old are you?"

    • @zipperooni
      @zipperooni 3 года назад +734

      *”Oral.”*

    • @oreomint8255
      @oreomint8255 3 года назад +146

      @@zipperooni where were you born?

    • @millinakash5785
      @millinakash5785 3 года назад +136

      I thought he meant Oral Roberts University

    • @trajanhill5610
      @trajanhill5610 3 года назад +462

      "What were you doing at the time?"
      *O r a l .*

  • @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache
    @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache 3 года назад +257

    1:26
    Have you ever had a dream that that you um, you had, you'll t-, you would you could, you do, you would you want you you could do some, you... You'll do, you could you, you want, you want him to do you so much you could do anything?

    • @theresahaironthescreen
      @theresahaironthescreen 4 месяца назад

      oral

    • @Ghv5t
      @Ghv5t 2 месяца назад +2

      Seriously, I had a stroke reading that

    • @bucketspree4952
      @bucketspree4952 3 часа назад

      ​@@Ghv5t the phrase in the video or the meme?

    • @Ghv5t
      @Ghv5t 3 часа назад

      @@bucketspree4952 in the video

  • @Spoon80085
    @Spoon80085 3 года назад +805

    0:33 My dad actually knew the guy that said this! It was the witness, and when asked when the stairs went down the Witness said, "They go up too" And the lawyer didn't know what to do

    • @KC_Garcia
      @KC_Garcia Год назад +166

      the lawyer forgot how stairs worked

    • @mrosskne
      @mrosskne 4 месяца назад +108

      HOLD IT! you're telling me the stairs went both up and down at the same time? but those are opposite directions!!!!!

    • @ArcanineEspeon
      @ArcanineEspeon 4 месяца назад +3

      Ohh, what was the case then?

    • @Spoon80085
      @Spoon80085 4 месяца назад +28

      @@ArcanineEspeon I'd have to ask him, but I'd wager it'd be Norfolk county court sometime between ~1990-2000

    • @theverycringenogoodname8453
      @theverycringenogoodname8453 4 месяца назад +22

      The lawyer has only ever seen escalators, let them be

  • @blizzardlol7625
    @blizzardlol7625 4 года назад +6345

    “Sir, what is your IQ”
    “ w e l l , i c a n s e e p r e t t y w e l l , i
    t h i n k . ”

    • @demilad225
      @demilad225 4 года назад +541

      The funniest possible way of saying “below average.”

    • @Cyanidedan
      @Cyanidedan 3 года назад +614

      @@demilad225
      "How old is your son?"
      "35 to 38 years, I can't remember."
      "How long has he been living with you?'
      *"F o r t y - F i v e Y e a r s"*

    • @yumiko523
      @yumiko523 3 года назад +161

      In my country, there's an eyeglasses company named IQ I think

    • @bwth_hybl
      @bwth_hybl 3 года назад +132

      @@yumiko523 I think it's eye-Q, like a pun lol

    • @TheGalaxyWings
      @TheGalaxyWings 3 года назад +36

      oral

  • @genuineinterest
    @genuineinterest 4 года назад +9488

    I LOVE that there's no explicit transition between each excerpt and it really looks like they're all just shouting increasingly awful questions at poor Iris who is in despair while Klavier takes it and dishes it back out

    • @MyoticTesseract
      @MyoticTesseract 3 года назад +495

      iris is suffering so much

    • @antonioscendrategattico2302
      @antonioscendrategattico2302 2 года назад +184

      @@MyoticTesseract It feels so strange seeing her do Dahlia's mannerisms though. Even though she does it in the game itself.

    • @iamthemouse4483
      @iamthemouse4483 Год назад +1

      Oral 👁️👄👁️

  • @Dagaming12
    @Dagaming12 4 года назад +4993

    I’d like to imagine this was just one super long argument and not multiple arguments put together cause it’s way better that way.

    • @sopapopp
      @sopapopp 4 года назад +60

      It is

    • @rurumuhelsi5561
      @rurumuhelsi5561 4 года назад +176

      Now we need to construct a whole entire case that fits it all together

    • @kendrickbrock-king1092
      @kendrickbrock-king1092 4 года назад +13

      This is just 1 long one

    • @rurumuhelsi5561
      @rurumuhelsi5561 4 года назад +91

      All of this stupidity couldn’t have possibly fit into one case, but you know what, I’ll take it as the truth, because there is a first time for everything.

    • @load-bearingcoconut5586
      @load-bearingcoconut5586 4 года назад +63

      @@rurumuhelsi5561 the geniune stupidity in this would've been dense enough to cause a singularly if it were all in one case

  • @X-SPONGED
    @X-SPONGED 2 года назад +243

    _"If you can't Dazzle them with Brilliance,_
    _Baffle them with Bullshit..."_
    _- Phoenix and Apollo, Turnabout Insanity_

  • @cradleofchaos4923
    @cradleofchaos4923 3 года назад +871

    "you forgot? How can you forget? Give us an example of something you forgot!" Is literally just an ace attorney investigations line.

  • @gamercherry460
    @gamercherry460 4 года назад +9196

    Klavier just leaning in and saying 'oral.' with the MOST SMUG LOOK ON HIS FACE made me laugh way too hard.

    • @MKDumas1981
      @MKDumas1981 3 года назад +70

      Oh, my.

    • @leepickek7923
      @leepickek7923 3 года назад +61

      Oh, my.

    • @noelleholiday61
      @noelleholiday61 3 года назад +155

      That makes me feel like the guy who originally said this stuff was just messing with them the whole time because they sounded super dumb

    • @minttea9643
      @minttea9643 3 года назад +27

      Oh, my.

    • @nagiinreallife
      @nagiinreallife 3 года назад +25

      Oh, my.

  • @Rabhadh-RhymesWithJava
    @Rabhadh-RhymesWithJava 4 года назад +10936

    I love the idea that this trial is just Phoenix and Apollo having a rapid fire himbo off.

    • @stacy__fakename
      @stacy__fakename 4 года назад +1078

      I love how eventually Edgeworth butts in, not to rerail *anything*, but simply to pull the same exact shit

    • @shrexyboi6068
      @shrexyboi6068 4 года назад +374

      @@stacy__fakename Fight fire with fire

    • @Kittymouth
      @Kittymouth 4 года назад +307

      @@stacy__fakename that's pretty much the first 2 games at least. Edgeworth likes to play that he's some kinda mister, but we all know he a thot.

    • @spiltmilk0204
      @spiltmilk0204 4 года назад +173

      RAPID FIRE HIMBO OFF I LOVE THAT 😩

    • @Otter34
      @Otter34 4 года назад +169

      @@Kittymouth He can only keep it together in the Investigations, when Phoenix isn't around. Not saying that means anything, but you know. Interesting correlation.

  • @jasper3706
    @jasper3706 4 года назад +3760

    Some of these are actually less stupid than they're made out to be- for instance, when a lawyer is cross-examining a witness they'll often ask a lot of quick, easy questions they know the answer to to get the witness used to saying the truth without hesitating. "How old is your youngest child" was probably meant to be something like that (or getting the info on the record), but they slipped in "the twenty year old" because... they're the lawyer of course they already know.
    That being said, "How long have you been French-Canadian" is still absolutely the best thing I've ever read

    • @waldoman7
      @waldoman7 3 года назад +253

      I mean, I've been trying to quit for a while.

    • @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410
      @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 3 года назад +1

      Ty is a fanmade fanmade Popularity popelee up with comment anffdddddr education fc fd rc cddc. Dcccc

    • @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410
      @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 3 года назад +7

      @@waldoman7 the best ideas to give her I don't want to lose her for a log in bones is not saving you money

    • @NaughtiusMaximmus
      @NaughtiusMaximmus 3 года назад +94

      @@lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 ...what

    • @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410
      @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 3 года назад +1

      @@NaughtiusMaximmus the only thing I spend on my life animation was to be sent Delete and delete and delete all the way back to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to your knees

  • @ducky5071
    @ducky5071 3 года назад +510

    “He’s 20 much like your IQ”
    THERE’S NO COMING BACK FROM THAT ONE.

  • @Пинагод
    @Пинагод 2 года назад +77

    1:03 - Hey, going through the game's logic, that current nose she has on right now could be a prosthetic to cover the accident she had as a child, or to pose as that child that was in time of the accident. Or maybe her surgical records could become a clue later on that provides proof to an absence as she was attending something else; To have surgery on her nose. Ergo, that was an absolutely and completely validated and reasonable question to be asking!

  • @njsynthesis
    @njsynthesis 4 года назад +2722

    "If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
    It took me a few days to figure out what he meant by that, but that quote struck me like a freight train when I did.

    • @fuyuki8989
      @fuyuki8989 4 года назад +67

      Can you explain it to me please

    • @mariayyad2546
      @mariayyad2546 4 года назад +757

      @@fuyuki8989 basically if he weren't under the oath to speak the truth, he would return the compliment, meaning that the compliment would be a lie-

    • @jjaa_joyjoyartist
      @jjaa_joyjoyartist 4 года назад +112

      @@fuyuki8989 He knows the lawyers are dumb af

    • @semidecent4395
      @semidecent4395 4 года назад +308

      @@fuyuki8989 In other words, he can’t say he’s a handsome talented man because he’d be lying. Meaning they’re indirectly calling the attorney in question ugly

    • @_z7990
      @_z7990 3 года назад +20

      @@mariayyad2546
      Well damn

  • @Punchy919
    @Punchy919 4 года назад +3968

    Okay but when he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to, and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he had brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?

    • @Golden_Pig64
      @Golden_Pig64 4 года назад +803

      That question should be taken out and shot.

    • @Damage42X
      @Damage42X 4 года назад +503

      You know, reading it slowly I finally understood it.

    • @Punchy919
      @Punchy919 4 года назад +567

      @@Damage42X Same, well, kinda. He's asking a question that kind of has an implied nearly impossible outcome on his question, and he's stating all the improbabilites said outcome has
      Out of context, though, it's hilarious af. imagine being asked that irl

    • @Punchy919
      @Punchy919 4 года назад +220

      @Eric Lee that you could
      that you
      that he
      uhm

    • @WaffleMelonChannel
      @WaffleMelonChannel 4 года назад +180

      Godzilla had a stroke trying to read this and fucking died

  • @mythosinfinite6736
    @mythosinfinite6736 3 года назад +514

    1:50
    The fact that he refused to lie under oath in his previous statement means that we can accept his statement of having committed suicide 4 times as fact. Add it to the court record.

  • @dracoerrarus4834
    @dracoerrarus4834 3 года назад +4369

    “I could see his head.”
    “And where was his head?”
    “Just above his shoulders?”
    Me, an Ace Attorney pro: “HOLD IT! How do you know he has shoulders?”

    • @reaperofthings
      @reaperofthings 3 года назад +473

      HOLD IT! This testimony clearly contradicts your previous testimony. If you could see his head and his shoulders you should have said so from the start!

    • @dracoerrarus4834
      @dracoerrarus4834 3 года назад +254

      @@reaperofthings That... sounds much more accurate to the game. We’ll accept my dialogue as one of the other options that doesn’t cost you any points and let’s you try again.

    • @sunset-peril
      @sunset-peril 3 года назад +33

      Haven't even played Ace Attorney but I still did that, 😂

    • @mosessinanta8005
      @mosessinanta8005 2 года назад +55

      "Because I can see his shoulder"
      "How can you see the shoulder?"
      "They're just below his head"

    • @GMP1isReal
      @GMP1isReal 2 года назад +57

      To be fair, that was the most useful question in this whole thing (which isn't saying much) since we now know he wasn't decapitated.

  • @wojtekpolska1013
    @wojtekpolska1013 Год назад +22

    1:45 "If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment" Lol

  • @RandomNulls
    @RandomNulls 3 года назад +6192

    I just love how everyone in the room besides iris has the combined IQ of the temperature of the room

    • @calebkirschbaum8158
      @calebkirschbaum8158 3 года назад +182

      Idk, most court rooms I only need to bring a long sleeves. I don't think they get that hot

    • @recycledgdev1950
      @recycledgdev1950 3 года назад +141

      What if I measure it in kelvin?

    • @cullenlatham2366
      @cullenlatham2366 3 года назад +129

      to be fair, the judge took none of the sh*t, and the "doctor" threw it all right back, clearly being the smartass of the room. Apollo's paragraph was clearly designed to confuse, and saying such a "sentence" in itself requires some brainpower. Wright's biggest error was confusing the location of the shot, but otherwise was able to roll with the punches of the stupid and intentionally confusing questions. All that leaves is Edgeworth, who caught the stupid and something that could very easily have been in one of the games (likely as a reply to pushing when player is backed up against the wall fishing for any clue they can get). There is a case to be made that iris was the actual lowest in the room for falling victim to the mind games, but she does have to compete with Edgeworth, who did not have enough lines to fully judge.

    • @user-vh2pn2ty4d
      @user-vh2pn2ty4d 3 года назад +40

      Measured in Celsius

    • @creeperhunterD
      @creeperhunterD 3 года назад +9

      @@islu6425 It was a valid question...

  • @ThePikaPlayer
    @ThePikaPlayer 4 года назад +823

    This isnt a court case anymore, this is a full-on Monty Python sketch

    • @Centyme
      @Centyme 3 года назад +22

      Tru, but the Spanish Inquisition just showed up to my house and I wasn't expecting them

    • @datonecommieirongear2020
      @datonecommieirongear2020 3 года назад +18

      @@Centyme I expected them...
      soo they sent the portugese inquisition

    • @Centyme
      @Centyme 3 года назад +13

      @@datonecommieirongear2020 but NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

    • @ALookInto587
      @ALookInto587 3 года назад +2

      @@Centyme Which can only mean one thing…
      Your honor! This witnesses testimony is bullshit!

  • @joshuakoby9568
    @joshuakoby9568 4 года назад +577

    1:45 is the greatest roast I've ever seen

    • @sousorry8998
      @sousorry8998 4 года назад +86

      @someone random when your under oath you have to tell the truth. Does that help?

    • @IfritBoi
      @IfritBoi 4 года назад +1

      69 likes tho

    • @Kitteh328
      @Kitteh328 4 года назад +26

      HOLY FUCK, now I get it. I didnt even realize its a roast or something rude

    • @bait5257
      @bait5257 2 года назад

      @@Kitteh328 same

  • @Hugealligator254
    @Hugealligator254 Год назад +33

    Ace attorney but the only thing they learnt in law school is how to make that satisfying slam noise with a desk or table

  • @steampunksamp80
    @steampunksamp80 3 года назад +236

    The first part has me rolling every time, edgeworth eventually stops thinking and joins in

    • @WhiteWolf-lm7gj
      @WhiteWolf-lm7gj 9 месяцев назад

      You can't stop the stupid, you can only get in on it

  • @linkdx7079
    @linkdx7079 4 года назад +375

    Love how the judge was just tired of everyone's shit at the end "i'm arresting all of you"

  • @Kami74159
    @Kami74159 4 года назад +292

    I like that Edgeworth at first is confused about what's happening but just joins in halfway through

  • @theaviator1152
    @theaviator1152 4 года назад +486

    “...So you were gone until you returned?”

    • @devilsadvocate6381
      @devilsadvocate6381 3 года назад +11

      Naturally

    • @waldoman7
      @waldoman7 3 года назад +22

      A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He returns precisely when he is no longer gone.

    • @waldoman7
      @waldoman7 3 года назад +1

      Hmm, actually there is one case of a guy being here even before he returned from leaving. I suppose this lawyer must have had to try Jesus at some point.

    • @MissPoplarLeaf
      @MissPoplarLeaf 3 года назад +2

      Just like people die when they are killed!

  • @theandyestdandy8175
    @theandyestdandy8175 3 года назад +209

    I've watched enough Ace Attorney to know that these dumb questions are only asked to buy the defense time while they think of an actually good question.

  • @waffleauflauf4213
    @waffleauflauf4213 3 года назад +198

    I was expecting separate incidents, but the rapid-fire questions just made it so much better

  • @emilio1044
    @emilio1044 3 года назад +612

    I love how the start (Wright preparing himself with Apollo) made it look like they were in a competition of who would ask the dumbest thing

    • @leesanda77
      @leesanda77 2 года назад +9

      Here is your first comment. Also I know and I bet Edgeworth was also in on it.

    • @RiskoPlexus
      @RiskoPlexus Год назад +5

      That actually sounds like something they’d have to really try hard for 😂

  • @thaias9654
    @thaias9654 4 года назад +2684

    “How many times have you _committed suicide?”_
    “Four Times”

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 года назад +177

      Lawyers are probably more used to saying "committed suicide" than "attempted", so they just said the former by mistake, and the client didn't notice.

    • @abdisaniini
      @abdisaniini 4 года назад +61

      @@japanpanda2179 It's still hilarious though lol

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 года назад +26

      @@abdisaniini Totally

    • @load-bearingcoconut5586
      @load-bearingcoconut5586 4 года назад +52

      @Ayoub Habou "what school did you go to?" "Oral"

    • @voidofspaceandtime4684
      @voidofspaceandtime4684 4 года назад +14

      i cannot believe you have commited suicide!

  • @piranhasz427
    @piranhasz427 4 года назад +9094

    “Was he shot in the woods?”
    “No, he was shot in the dick”
    “(What country is that in?)”
    WHEN I TELL YOU I WHEEZED-

  • @Alto_C
    @Alto_C 3 года назад +50

    0:14
    that was the exact moment Phoenix, with the help of Apollo, started what would be the most glorious debate to ever be held in that courtroom.

  • @Roy-yq4bn
    @Roy-yq4bn 3 года назад +121

    2:52 she Forgor💀

    • @MoonLmao
      @MoonLmao 5 месяцев назад +5

      this one comment right here is such a relic of the past

  • @JustinRed624
    @JustinRed624 4 года назад +3014

    These are on "People die when they are killed" level

    • @erille712
      @erille712 3 года назад +73

      Same as "i made water wet" level

    • @shikikankillzone4239
      @shikikankillzone4239 3 года назад +154

      _"People die when they are killed"_
      _"The floor here is made out of floor"_
      _"If you hard, then you hard"_
      _"The archer class really is made up of archers"_
      _"Why does berserker goes berserk?"_
      _"The director's the director"_
      _"So you dodged my undodgeable blow"_
      _"This city really looks like a city"_
      _"Even in ancient times, only a dragon-slayer is capable of slaying a dragon"_
      _"Just because you are correct doesn't mean you're right"_
      _"Fun things are fun"_
      _"They'll continue to live until they die"_
      _"The left arm is not the right arm"_
      _"We should use logical thinking to think logically"_
      _"If you don't want to fight me, then prove it by fighting me"_
      These will make fine additions to my collection

    • @antivirusexe2856
      @antivirusexe2856 3 года назад +7

      With that attitude they do

    • @connorbeith3232
      @connorbeith3232 3 года назад +49

      One of them literally is that:
      "Isn't it true when a person dies in his sleep..he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

    • @pardalmadgod9960
      @pardalmadgod9960 3 года назад +17

      @@shikikankillzone4239 Here have a few more i heard i forget where.
      People die if they are murdered to death.
      The secret to immortality is, not dying.

  • @froidesprit
    @froidesprit 4 года назад +420

    I found a whole book of these lawyer moments! It's Disorder in the Court, by Charles M Sevilla. A few of these cases where featured in it, so idk if that's where OP got it.

    • @Chessete
      @Chessete  4 года назад +137

      That one along with the sequel by another author! Good find!

  • @ivayia
    @ivayia 4 года назад +4393

    i really want to know who was defending and who the witnesses for this case were irl now

    • @Daybreak81523
      @Daybreak81523 4 года назад +633

      But how long has that man been French Canadian?

    • @amberlee787
      @amberlee787 4 года назад +269

      @@Daybreak81523 I... Don't know how to explain.

    • @vanilla8101
      @vanilla8101 4 года назад +219

      @@amberlee787 You don't know how to explain, but can you describe it?

    • @thespyer2k
      @thespyer2k 4 года назад +58

      It's definitely multiple cases

    • @sporeham1674
      @sporeham1674 4 года назад +38

      @@thespyer2k Nope. It's one, check the description

  • @korokseed1619
    @korokseed1619 3 года назад +24

    “If I weren’t under oath I’d return the compliment.”
    HOLY SHIT

  • @Lordeevee
    @Lordeevee 3 года назад +65

    "You say the stairs went down...did they go up as well?"
    "My son is 20...much like your IQ"

  • @thehoodedteddy1335
    @thehoodedteddy1335 4 года назад +362

    “Thank you, if I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment” has got to be the sickest burn I’ve heard this year.

  • @Becca-hp4bg
    @Becca-hp4bg 4 года назад +3949

    - The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
    - 20, just like your IQ

  • @lotusluminance5872
    @lotusluminance5872 4 года назад +747

    "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to, and were able, for the time excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station..."
    *"That question should be taken out and shot."*
    My favorite.

    • @EstebanBrenesV
      @EstebanBrenesV 3 года назад +23

      With this pne just in case is too much of a riddle it meant to ask if the first guy would have allow the other 2 if they were able to go, (also implying there was some sort of condition on the girl but asking that to be ruled out) simple made complicated to try and disrupt the witness being examined, waaaay to complicated of a logic to even be comprehended at the span of a few seconds

    • @iamthinking2252_
      @iamthinking2252_ 3 года назад +13

      Needs a damn few semicolons and a redo

  • @yveswinters
    @yveswinters 2 года назад +39

    i love that apollo and nick look so proud and convinced by their statements

  • @Prosecutor_justice
    @Prosecutor_justice 2 месяца назад +31

    The fact that i took a sip of my tea simultaneously with wright sent me flying 0:50

  • @mialuckman9946
    @mialuckman9946 4 года назад +5800

    “How old is your son, the one living with you?”
    “38 or 35, I can’t remember”
    “And how long has he been living with you?”
    “45 years”

    • @sohomplayz
      @sohomplayz 4 года назад +172

      Wait n-

    • @white_mochi
      @white_mochi 4 года назад +262

      Wait a minute
      WAIT A MINUTE

    • @thunderclanliveson1
      @thunderclanliveson1 4 года назад +97

      Sus

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean 4 года назад +181

      I mean, it's funny, but it's not hard to see how someone could accidentally say 45 instead of 35. So not sus on its own.

    • @aionicthunder
      @aionicthunder 4 года назад +123

      “Sir, what is your IQ?”

  • @MoeJama420
    @MoeJama420 4 года назад +266

    "I am arresting all of you."

  • @markus5120
    @markus5120 4 года назад +391

    I love how you turned a bunch of dumb lawyer quotes into one cohesive trial

    • @kjl3080
      @kjl3080 4 года назад +79

      Cohesive is a strong word.

  • @BuriedFlame
    @BuriedFlame Год назад +37

    _"All you r answers must be oral"_
    *proceeds to ask something completely stupid*
    _"Oral."_

  • @plant7371
    @plant7371 2 года назад +19

    The fact that all of the characters would genuinely say these in their respective situations killed me even more than the victim

  • @wavybonez183
    @wavybonez183 4 года назад +213

    I love how Iris slowly goes from irritation to anger to on the verge of a breakdown

  • @qamarhashmi9380
    @qamarhashmi9380 4 года назад +478

    This is glorious and fits too well...

  • @KaitoMomota11037
    @KaitoMomota11037 4 года назад +173

    The smartass look Apollo had when asking how many times Klavier comitted suicide straight out killed me

  • @Lilyene0
    @Lilyene0 2 месяца назад +12

    1:10 MISSILE MENTIONED

  • @TheActualAnthonino
    @TheActualAnthonino 3 года назад +28

    I'm personally trying to see if my brain has enough capacity to fit all these quotes into the same case.

  • @diegoespinoza8997
    @diegoespinoza8997 4 года назад +525

    They aren't just clowns, they're the whole godamm circus...

    • @livingtrashbag1077
      @livingtrashbag1077 3 года назад +15

      They aren't just circus they are the whole carnival....
      Sorry that was a bad one

    • @woofwoof9199
      @woofwoof9199 3 года назад +1

      @@livingtrashbag1077 no no, that was good

    • @LicenciadoLoui
      @LicenciadoLoui 3 года назад +7

      They’re all arrested

    • @girlballsyuri
      @girlballsyuri 3 года назад +1

      @@livingtrashbag1077 they aren't just the carnival, they're the entire organization

  • @mrbuffwoopmusic8788
    @mrbuffwoopmusic8788 3 года назад +636

    Reminds me of:
    "Dude we have the same name"
    "Really, what's your name?"
    Same energy.

  • @Marxererer
    @Marxererer 4 года назад +617

    Every Random Among Us Lobby:

    • @kidghost69420
      @kidghost69420 3 года назад

      How it was like 8 months ago lmfao, haven't played it since the release of the fourth map so idk

    • @null1487
      @null1487 3 года назад

      imposter

  • @Virtrial
    @Virtrial 2 года назад +16

    This had me literally crying while laughing and having to pause the video multiple times. It's even more hilarious trying to imagine the context in which these statements were given in court. Thank you

  • @cekojuna6930
    @cekojuna6930 3 года назад +6

    That doctor is such an advanced troll and that his jokes is so simple yet so amazing once you figure out it’s double meaning. Love those legendary answers that contradicts itself.

  • @AzumarillConGafasBv
    @AzumarillConGafasBv 4 года назад +468

    Apollo: Doctor, do you recall the time you examined the body?
    Klavier: The autopsy started around 8 PM.
    Apollo: And he was dead at the time
    *B R U H*

    • @seanakinskywalker2619
      @seanakinskywalker2619 3 года назад +28

      He might not have been dead yet so the autopsy would have definitely killed him

  • @toasteroven7683
    @toasteroven7683 4 года назад +2137

    "I show exhibit 3 and ask if you recognize the picture."
    "That's... me."
    "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
    Fell out of my chair

    • @Alex-uq1el
      @Alex-uq1el 3 года назад +116

      And where was your chair when this happened?

    • @passingdem0n303
      @passingdem0n303 3 года назад +73

      @@Alex-uq1el "On the ground"

    • @Alex-uq1el
      @Alex-uq1el 3 года назад +61

      @@passingdem0n303
      But what about you?! Where were you when the chair fell?

    • @Alex-uq1el
      @Alex-uq1el 3 года назад +42

      @Tyler Vincent
      That explains nothing! Why were you on the ground!?

    • @Alex-uq1el
      @Alex-uq1el 3 года назад +37

      @Tyler Vincent
      You fell out of the chair, you say? But why!? Why did you fall out of your chair!?

  • @LilacJuvia
    @LilacJuvia 4 года назад +791

    I was JUST watching the first

  • @Complexicon_of_a_Startist
    @Complexicon_of_a_Startist Год назад +1

    2:55
    "Give us an example of something you forgot!"
    "I forgot why I ever bothered to engage in these conversations..."

  • @benrichardson5662
    @benrichardson5662 3 года назад +14

    Having Iris be tearing up when she asked to leave was a nice touch.

  • @EmericMAMBOLE
    @EmericMAMBOLE 3 года назад +182

    "So you were gone until you returned?"
    Emiya Shirou: Finally a worthy opponent

    • @DeltaSilver88
      @DeltaSilver88 Год назад +6

      Also Rowen from Ronin Warriors.
      "Lady Kayura, she's a girl!"

  • @duncanfery9377
    @duncanfery9377 4 года назад +539

    Knowing those are real quotes, I'm not sure I'm still a fan of life

    • @TheEmeraldSword04
      @TheEmeraldSword04 2 года назад +4

      are you implying you where one at all? awfully bold...

    • @bananawithaknife
      @bananawithaknife 2 года назад +16

      These quotes made me a bigger fan of life.

    • @DimT670
      @DimT670 2 года назад +4

      Eh. Most of these are reasonable in context and the rest have bad phrasing

    • @DeltaSilver88
      @DeltaSilver88 Год назад +1

      @@DimT670 And the latter makes me wonder why these lawyers even have a career. If they ask questions for a living, they should know how to phrase things better. 🤣

  • @pexoto5093
    @pexoto5093 3 года назад +103

    "all your responses from now on must be oral okay? What school did you go to?"
    "Oral"
    Iris showing clear signs of agony and crying "Please... Just let me leave"

  • @dammit3048
    @dammit3048 2 года назад +3

    I have never heard "that question should be taken out and shot" before but it ia now my new catchphrase

  • @tacosquirrel9509
    @tacosquirrel9509 3 года назад +19

    1:18 what the dog doin?

  • @poobertz
    @poobertz 4 года назад +1189

    PLS WHERE DO U FIND THIS SHIT IM ASCENDING

    • @Chessete
      @Chessete  4 года назад +360

      in tur net 👁👄👁

    • @sethgore9691
      @sethgore9691 4 года назад +35

      @@Chessete prob reddit

    • @edgeworth6643
      @edgeworth6643 4 года назад +2

      Internet

    • @kaliholda
      @kaliholda 4 года назад +12

      @@Chessete i have no idea what this means and i really wanna know what case its from

    • @urban_rural1256
      @urban_rural1256 4 года назад +9

      @@kaliholda he’s saying “internet”. In other words, it’s probably not too hard to find stuff kind this if you search a bit

  • @crazymartin526
    @crazymartin526 4 года назад +169

    How to lose your Iq ace attorney edition

    • @lks19
      @lks19 4 года назад +3

      Also irl

    • @miristtotallw
      @miristtotallw 3 года назад +2

      But after watching this I can still see pretty well, I think :o

    • @shanedoesyoutube8001
      @shanedoesyoutube8001 3 года назад

      @@lks19 *"based on true story" more like

  • @cancelhandles
    @cancelhandles 4 года назад +249

    That fucking mouth movement when Phoenix just goes "beep" 3:37

    • @ey-lol
      @ey-lol 4 года назад +16

      it reminded me of pop cat

    • @TeamSilver1109
      @TeamSilver1109 3 года назад +4

      I'm dying inside

  • @reaperofthings
    @reaperofthings 3 года назад +101

    I’m wheezing and crying watching
    “Where was the dog at this time?”
    Iris, sobbing: “attached to the ears”
    “The Myasthenia Gravis, does it affect your memory at all?”
    Iris, still crying: “....Yes”
    “And in what ways does this affect your memory?”
    Iris, in physical pain at this point: “I forgot”

  • @cheeseyleaves
    @cheeseyleaves 9 дней назад +3

    2:55 Sounds *EXACTLY* like something Edgeworth would say in the games lmao

  • @stickk6066
    @stickk6066 4 года назад +91

    "I am arresting all of you"
    *good ending*

  • @f1sh26
    @f1sh26 4 года назад +291

    “How many times have you committed suicide?”
    There’s no fucking way a real lawyer said that.

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 года назад +83

      Why not? They're probably more used to saying "committed suicide" than "attempted suicide", so when they meant the latter they said the former.

    • @f1sh26
      @f1sh26 4 года назад +11

      @@japanpanda2179 but they would have corrected themselves.

    • @Another_Hibiki
      @Another_Hibiki 4 года назад +11

      Well, you can help your friends at committing suicide killing them.

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 года назад +22

      @@f1sh26 Maybe they did - we don't know what was said afterwards

    • @인형바보
      @인형바보 4 года назад +13

      @@Another_Hibiki and that would be assisting suicide not commiting one

  • @legendgames128
    @legendgames128 3 года назад +59

    3:57 the entire court is guilty.

  • @evilturkey523
    @evilturkey523 3 года назад +2

    1:28 when you're trying to reach the word count on an essay

  • @ethelleandsully7547
    @ethelleandsully7547 4 года назад +116

    Okay, I legit started crying of laughter when Klavier came in, pls do more of these (if you can)

  • @the_mars_bar
    @the_mars_bar 4 года назад +3478

    the fact that cornered is playing makes this more funny
    holy shit it’s been 2 years, stop liking this comment

  • @drakothedragon
    @drakothedragon 4 года назад +152

    I honestly feel bad for Iris. Being tortured like this....damn.

    • @Drip_Wooper
      @Drip_Wooper 3 года назад +21

      "I was the one who killed the victim, I killed him with a shovel, please just give me death sentece"
      "But Ms.Iris, the victim died with a gun shoot"
      "yeah yeah gun or whatever, please just kill me"

  • @realtrickswag5986
    @realtrickswag5986 Год назад +6

    these legitimately feel like actual ace attorney games

  • @carpedm9846
    @carpedm9846 5 месяцев назад +5

    "when a person dies in their sleep, they dont know until the next morning"
    Considering the spirit shenanigans, this could be an actual "oh shit" moment in the games