Never let your guard down, mine withheld sex, ok by me (now I say you made this prob now you fix it).. Today I shot that he thought that would work as I'd let him think it was the best sex I'd ever had... Ah such freedom is fun!
There is a win when you walk away. You get your life back. You get your power back. If you see that as a loss you are still under the control of the narcissist.
@@walkingjudy3067 No one said it was a loss. Just because there is no win doesn't mean a loss. But thanks for trying to insult me. Are you a narcissist?
So true, I've had to ignore quite a few seemingly civil emails from someone before that person finally stopped emailing me. She's the only person I can think of who I had to actively go no contact with, although there were others I had to avoid but circumstances had separated us geographically. Only once have I had to actually Stand My Ground with the no contact.
Your love, care, concern, compassion & empathy are the very tools a narcissist depends on to use against you to destroy you and they are overjoyed that you assisted them in your destruction.
Before discrading the narcisist i married i became stoic or indiffernet nothing he said affected me he told me your boring 😂i told him leave me and go find excitement i have gone no contact and now he reaching out nah doesnt deserve to hear from me ever again i value my peace 😊🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
After going grey rock, and no contact, with someone you loved. Can you feel as free and alive, as you once did. Has a little bit of something inside died. Or do you feel more appreciative of life again?
Watching these videos this morning helped me to realize that I am actually being stoic with a narcissist right now and they absolutely do not know how to take it. I feel very certain their next move will be playing the victim if they are not currently doing that. Thank you for your content.
I wasn't so good at that in my twenties, because as soon as someone started resembling a human being, especially because that person was a co-worker, I've given and speak to him again and then we were back where we were.
Yes... His last hoover attempt with me was very painful for him I'm sure because I did not play along with his evil mind games. He found out on that hoover day that I am no longer his little puppet anymore. And, I didn't even have to say a word to him. I let my actions speak very loudly for me. Anyway, He just popped up at my door one day out of the blue like he was going to come and visit me. Wrong!!!! He didn't get to "VISIT" with me. He got to be totally ignored by me because I never went to the door. I totally ignored him while he kept knocking and knocking and knocking on my door. Before he FINALLY gave up and left, he started yelling my name out loud for me to "Come to the damn door!" But, I didn't do what the little cry baby boy wanted me to do. His ego took a HUGE hit on that hoover day. And, after that, he's never come around me again for another dose of that medicine. That's been over 2 years ago now. After that, I feel very sure that he is still fuming, and he is still raging deep inside because I refused to let him feed off of me. The creatures hold a grudge forever. They never forgive, or forget when someone hurts their pride. And, as they age, their rage only intensifies. Too bad, so sad that he will never be able to have access to me EVER again! I have made sure of that. He will never see my face or hear my voice again! He can search for me everywhere, but he'll NEVER find me!
You have done the best thing anybody can do. Loved your strength how you dealt with it. I am suffering too currently but hopefully I will recover too just like you and not entertain him anymore
Exactly!! My narc mom suggests to me that I need meds when I actually eat my fruits and vegetables as well as drink water but she doesn't do these things which is why she's on meds now! I've done everything for her as a daughter should only to be called out of my name and that is disrespectful!
@@shareesejohnson7104Narcs are the biggest hypocrites and will forever project themselves onto you. You need to do this and that, while they never apply those things to their lives.
I wish we'd all teach this to young people before they encounter narcissists. I eventually figured out some things on my own the hard way, but still, these videos have helped me so much. Thank you for making them.
I am teaching this to my children as we have some narcissistic relatives, and I want the children to be truly free. I wish someone would have taught it to me, but this is what growth is. It is for us to teach what we have learned so that others do not fall into the same pits that we have.
@@naowright9308 Agree, but based on the comments, narcissistic behavior is quite common, and these levels indicate a need for officially adding appropriate human behavior response/ coping measures (elementary basic psychology) to the list of adulting skills that any good public education provides for children of all ages. Bullying is both taught and learned. Humanity traditionally rewards barbaric behavior. Better behavior and higher expectations have to be taught and rewarded more.
@@louisanowonly when we outnumber them and hold them accountable they'll be forced to hide / disengage / and cower en-masse. 😊 It will also be difficult for them to pass on their pathology, the way I see it, we are at w@ r with them.
@louisanow I sometimes teach a psychology class to homeschoolers, and I always add some points about narcissism and my experience with it. Then, I point out how to spot it in this particular point of psychology and what to expect from then.
Once I realize someone is a narcissist, I lose all respect and interest in them. I'll still be polite and civil if they are...but everything they do or say irritates me, knowing what they are and what to expect (or not to expect) from them.
Realizing that shit always has me crawling in my skin, wanting to get away from them. Being raised by a narcissist, I don’t enjoy how utterly draining they can be… mine was such a frikin energy vampire that I’d isolate for weeks and months to recover. It’d take weeks/months because I’d still have to interact here and there with her due to living together. It was so utterly draining to be in her presence. She fed off every emotion, especially anger.
Thank you for helping me to realize that the smear campaign is just the narcissists last effort to control and destroy. My character got assassinated really bad and I let it eat away at me. I’m going to remember that the people who deserve to be in my life will be and the rest of the trash can take themselves out.
Yeah my family did that to me and when you live in a small town, that can affect you. I'm pretty much no contact with them and keep my business to myself. It's the only way I can move forward without everything being sabotaged.
This is true, and I have to co parent with a narcissist and I learned that it's just all on me now, I'm a mother and father to my children and learned to do all on my own and it's hard and everything BUT it's the best, it's better and healthier than keeping this person mixing themselves in and making a mess of everything.
I'm in the same nightmare, not as easy when children are involved to get out stay out. I have tried everything. I refer to myself as a solo parent not a single mother. I do everything he does nothing only make it impossible. I can't bear it.
For the over all development kids need both parents. But the narc father always keep himself away😢. When around he scolds mother for taking care of the children because he never got this much care from his parents🙁
I've been only parent to our kids for nearly 14 years. Any love my son tries to give to his mum is met with a push off, our kids know exactly who makes them feel loved and special and have said they aren't bothered if they ever see her again. To the world and her family she's the perfect mother.. son is 13, said I love you to his mum and she called him a puffamd she's busy.. On her phone. With me I don't want to let go of him when he shows me affection and we are both happy and close.
Aren't you wonderful, mine went onto being my brat daughter who moved out while still a student against my wishes, he was her friend, she boycotted me a yr onto a few weeks, my husband saw it as futile but truth is he'll go against me with anyone, we both know it and I'm looking forward to letting that cat out of the bag! Least I don't tell lies or project my crazies as they do! 😊
Somehow I managed on my own (in my late 50's) to figure out a strategy to deal with my horrific narc mother. I quit giving her the reaction she was anticipating. Typically that would be a laugh, maybe a incredulous head shake or eye roll and no verbal response. The point was to convey to her that what she just said or did was ridiculous. The first time I tried it she WAS shocked!! She was going for the usual berating and arguments but instead she got laughed in her face. Took a lot of practice to react to her this way but eventually it is what saved me mentally to tolerate her until her death.
Let’s get into the powerful energy and vibration which the Truth carries and the narcisists will be shocked to their core. They will disperse exactly the way darkness disappears when confronted with the light.
Do a surgical cut to deplete the narcissist's ego. They will submit to you. Show them strength that no one can demolish you. That's what I did, and it worked well. If he can not take me, the door is open wide. He can find somebody else. I don't need a narcissist in my life, and I told him I lived alone before and I could live alone again. I'm capable of living on my own. It would be nice to have someone but not a narcissist.
Narcissists feel entitled and above their family it’s so sad!! Thank you Danish for your videos of teaching about “Narcissists”. You are helping a lot of us who deal with or have dealt with Narcissists. They need boundaries.
I watched another employee who was a covert narcissist run smear campaigns against so many other people for years! She had a regular routine and the drama just went round and round. She lived for it.
I work with two coworkers that smear my name for telling them what they did to me (Criminal acts) they turned it around that I did them wrong. NARCISSISTIC LOSERS
The narcisisst has been callimg my phome since octorber last year and sends texts me silence 🔕 no respond or reply at all when married to me he didnt care at all now i dont care about that ungrateful creature no more 😊👍🏽
In my experience it’s not because they’re harder to manipulate… it’s because they have attention on them. My mother couldn’t stand when I was sick bc I actually needed her to be my mother and she couldn’t stand the attention not being on her. The reason I knows it’s bc the attention isn’t on her, is bc when my sister would get sick, she’d take care of her… this was bc she was able to tell ppl about her poor asthmatic (and later POTS and AMPS) daughter that she takes care of. It has to be about them somehow… if it is not, it either angers them or simply disinterests them. I worked with my narc mother for a period of about 9 months. You wouldn’t believe how many times I heard that awful human being tell strangers about her sick daughter and how she has to get up at the crack of dawn to take her to appointments and how tired she is. She’d be sure to finish off each convo with “she’s a trooper” so she could claim she wasn’t making it about herself
Danish speaks facts here. This is exactly what my ex did to me when I caught him texting and talking another woman. When he hovered unsuccessfully 6 months after I blocked him, he started the smear campaign. His son’s mom was the one who came to me and told me what he was saying to his friends and family. I just laughed at how desperate he was to look like the good guy. She would call or text me telling me about his negative behavior towards his adult children. Found out recently that he left the new supply to be with his son’s mom. She’s all over her social media declaring her love for him. 😮 Had to block her and his kids also now. I value my peace!
Here's my situation. Both my parents are narcissistic. I have two siblings. I am out of their clutches. But I constantly keep feeling bad for my siblings. My mother is using them to keep them away from me. I constantly miss them. Having no family of origin is hard. I told my sister they are narcs. It didn't make any difference. I have a wife and a kid. We are happy. But it does feel quite lonely from time to time.
It IS lonely sometimes. I feel you. And it’s totally fine to grieve that and put self love and self compassion into action by acknowledging the loneliness, acknowledging that it isn’t fair, and acknowledging that we miss certain people. It’s just more evidence of why we need to stay No Contact though. Look at how evil they are! They turn our own siblings and children and extended family and friends against us! Never forget that bit even as you grieve.
I can relate. As soon as mum died my covert narc older sister remember bed the mask she’d put on over 30 years ago as soon as she got engaged. She first denigrated my sick adult child, then my husband then consistently inflicted abuse and lied about me to the other abusive sibling knowing he would be abusive based on her lies. Just like how she lied to our father that I hit her after she had punched /slapped me then kicked me in the guts growing up knowing I would get belted for it every time. I was half her size and out violent abuser father would never once ask me what happened. Mum finally caught her out lying after hurting me yet again, when I was about 11 and she 14. The violent abuse started when I was 8. Mum realized then she was not only a liar but an abuser also. So my sister never attacked me /tried to attack me when Mum was home or our 2 older brothers around coz they would stop her. My bff knew she was verbally abusive coz she didn’t hide that from my friends or our younger brother. But hid her real violent sadistic vicious self from those she wanted to manipulate. And now she’s manipulating my 2 older brothers and their spouses. I don’t know if her husband whom I got along with previously knows she’s a viscous perverse abuser. It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s lied to him their whole marriage either. Going no contact to protect myself and my own family she saying I am the one torturing the whole extended family. 🤷🏽♀️. Just like I had to do since I was 11 to 19 and avoid her because her physical violence and verbal abuse was out of control. I’m doing that once again. Except I’m not trapped in that house where I had to barricade my bedroom door/ hide under the house/ hide in the bush/ take the dogs for a walk / hide under the house during thunderstorms after being locked out after running away from being assaulted- and having to wait until Mim got home. I now just simply live far away where the psycho can’t get at me. 👍🏼
Narcissists seem to exist in far larger numbers than I realized. I thought the first one I'd encountered was an anomaly because of the isolated state I was in. I wonder if anyone's studied that, and if there's a spectrum, because some of them seem worse than others. Currently in the US, there is so much narcissistic behavior in the public and private spaces. For instance, the once-dominant fundamentalist extremist religion here is lashing out at their targets at every opportunity, doing all they can to get any reaction at all (often w/ their video phones at the ready) in public, in and around their homes, using lights, noises, stalking behaviors (to instill fear). (My stoic skills are so useful these days. 😅) There's an old saying that fits my experience, I tend to “attract cats and crazy people”. Cats are lovely company.
Read that the ratio is 1 in 6 are narcissists. My son is with one, keeps taking the abuse because of 2 very small children. He's an alpha and I never thought he would keep taking the abuse she gives him. I can't visit anymore as an empath, the energy is overwhelming. Heartbreaking not seeing the grandchildren, but atmosphere hurts my soul.
Tragically, they pretty much run the world. They are aggressive or passive/aggressive and they take, take take. But we find our power through our self-honesty and our integrity.
@@shelfuller724 I'm so sorry. I'm narc mother did this to us, leaving our grandparents out in the cold. But those children will grow up and learn how to make their own decisions.And they will see their parents more clearly. I believe that they will come to you. Hugs.
Loved it Danish. It makes me feel so good to know that whenever I ignore him and don't respond it is a victory for me after all the years of me being the loser.
I’m learning not to take what the narcissist said to me personally. They would be like this even if I didn’t exist. They even admitted I’m not their only target. I’m currently practicing not thinking about them as I know mine is a cyber stalker, an energy vampire and will do anything to get me to focus on them. The grey rock and stoic advice is the best ever. I think the ultimate goal is to completely stop giving a shit and not even think of them or respond at all. It’s the only way to full recovery. I’m Already halfway there as they are fully blocked on all social media accounts.
This was all spot on and very useful. The day/night that No Contact came around for me, drinking (by the spousenarc) was part of the context; i had employed at least 3 of the 5 items you cover here, but he got irate and began throwing and breaking items. ...May EVERYONE please exercise caution if you grey rock so successfully that your narc blows up after a sixpack. The cops were called (& sadly not by me) and i won't even contact him about taxes for this year -- screw the $$, *No Contact* is *No Contact*
This makes sense to me. When I was originally discarded because I told her she wasn’t worth it, she said she would tell everyone that I’m a bad person and a liar. 5 years later when she found out I was having a child with someone else, she got our children against me and said I hurt them. I told her I was done with all her BS. I also, regretfully, called her out on many things and told her I was done with her an I will deal with our children on my own. She again, said she would tell everyone that I am purposely having another child just to hurt ours.
I have a baby with a narcissist, I have been trying so hard to avoid him, I don't want to communicate with him frequently, I brought up an idea that we should sum up what he can bring for the child's welfare every month,but he has refused to have that conversation with me, he prefers i call him anytime i need financial support from him to take care of our baby. I'm trying so hard to heal. He keeps hurting me. My heart is bleeding, I feel like I'm living some else's life. I don't know what to do. I usually have suicidal thoughts. But anytime I think about my baby,I always have a second thought. He's messing with my mind. I'm exhausted.
i watch videos like this to continue to remind myself, of the types of people i don't want to have again in my life. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Hi again from Pointe Claire, right you are but they're all family and so you've really got to be fed up, no contact removes the family and that's how horrid they are, imagine being better off, who needs enemies!
@joseenoel8093 it takes a lot of strength and mental toughness to choose solitude over being around negative and toxic people, especially "friends" and family. most people aren't willing or able to go no-contact. -cheers, steven
Totally agree with you! I have learnt so much. The pastor, preacher, teacher type....they are the worst! In less than a year he got another supply. He lives a double life! Then he is in New York, Riverton Wyoming, Denver and then comes back to SA. Goes to Cape Town, Jhb, Port Elizabeth Now staying in a small town Wish he will move back He claims to preach the Gospel....Liar, deceiver, likes the sites where these women advertise themselves!! This man is a wolf in sheep clothing Demonic! Wonder if the different victims will ever know about each other 🙈
When you're surrounded by not one but plenty of narcissists ....you learn to rely only on your instincts and God. God will ALWAYS lead the way. I know their evil and they'll do ANYTHING to hurt you...but it's also true they are not the final authority on everything in life. God is. My narcissist's ALL OF THEM.. tried their hardest to keep me stuck where I was...but in the end God delivered me and my daughter. Just keep believing. No matter which religion you are....just believe in a higher power. I've found that going to church has really helped me. They are not as powerful as they pretend to be. They scare others because they are weak and scared lil children inside.I just feel ...sorry for them. That's all.
Thank you so much for this. I have a daughter too. Although i divorced my covert narc I still have plenty of narcs in the family. Thank you for the reminder on God and church. I'm a Muslim so Allah and my 5 daily prayers. Thank you.
I am so sorry that you went through such abuse 💔 in your family. Not fair that you had to experience such life changing and shocking abuse on your childhood. Praying that your heart will heal, giving you comfort and peace.
It wasn't until I finally left the relationship for the last time and did loads of research etc., that I realised my ex partner is a Covert Narcissist. Being with him was like riding an emotional rollercoaster from hell. I walked into our relationship as a confident, happy, secure person, including being financially independent. I left that relationship feeling like half the person I was. After I finally left, I did start worrying about him telling lies and saying wrongful things about me to others, but no point wasting energy worrying about things out of my control.
So true I have been a full time carer for my frail mother for 10 years. My narcissistic sister has been coming around and causing trouble stressing out mum. I have been going no contact with her but using mum to get a reaction out of me. I sent her packing, havent seen her for 3 months. All this time she has been scheming about ways to get back at me.I found out she has been going around town trying to give me a bad name putting me down saying Im not looking after mum at all, just bludging off her. She has done nothing to help out with mum in the last 10 years. The only two things she is worried about is WHEN and How much she will get.
You described the argument with my husband this morning. He operated in all these examples. I fall for it and even though I try not to engage, I keep finding myself getting into it. He sucks my energy and then when he's taken it to the fullest height, I'm done and he's satisfied. Then, the "apologizing" comes. It's the same cat and mouse dance no matter how many times I think we've grown from this.
Thank you Danish your words are so wise I smiled when you explained no reaction drives them crazy They can try their smeer campaigns IM done playing their games I'm not playing their games anymore
I made the mistake of looking through old photos. We were both so happy for a long, long time. She wasn't always manipulative, she became that way. The last couple years she changed. I don't know what happened- it was gradual and subtle. I resent the person she is today, but I miss the person she once was. I miss the person I used to be. I've changed so much that I don't recognize myself anymore.
me too. But living with one since age 18 now 54 yrs of marriage (He now has Alzheimers & is in Assisted Living facility) has been awful. Now my having peace and quietness and being able to make my own decisions including what I will eat is heavenly. I watch Danish’s video to continue to learn all I can on how to deal with Narcissists.
@@annawallace3264yes it's amazing that they want to tell you what to eat and that you cook wrong. Thus Narc plows a pair of sciccors though all the meat on the plate. She eats off the fork and EXPECTS me to eat off of it too !!! Massively disgusting !!! She'll send food to work with me and " plop" going right in the garbage. I'm not her dog eating her table scraps.
My narc mom does this. She'll fake having a diabetic reaction or fake having fallen and not being able to get up (she's about 300lbs). When I ignore her, she miraculously gets better with no medical intervention at all! So, I've been ignoring all of her attempts to bait me (by pretending to need medical attention) for about a year now. She's really playing with fire! She hasn't even thought about the very real possibility of her having a real medical emergency and me ignoring her, thinking that she's just faking again. It's one VERY nasty trap she's playing with!
I go from listening and incorporating strategies, to completely stopping all incoming about narcissists, taking a break, not wanting to think about it. Healthy choice. Then i come back for reminders and info, also validation.
Something I found that works at making people stop being aggressive Is just staring straight at them. Don't talk, make only a few movements and and just occasionally stare at them showing a completely blank expression.
Coparents in this situation: communicate via text ONLY. No social media contact, no calls, no verbal attempts that will escalate and be reported inaccurately. Text and screenshot EVERYTHING. Refuse to engage any other way. In those texts, keep it professional, don’t take bait, and always respond like it will be read aloud in court - because it might.
Thank you for your excellent advice. You are spot on with everything. I've recently had to draw a line in the sand with certain "family members." After years of "being nice" and "generous" and "accommodating" I've pulled the plug on them. Everything you say is absolutely true. The sad thing is that these cretins never realized how good they had it. I will never deal with them again. They had their chance and they've blown it. And now I will focus on my ailing health and get my affairs in order. And they won't ever see a dime from me.
Damn. The lack of emotions in my voice…. I’d do this before I fully understood this… at first she was incredibly angry and abusive, in response to this because she LOVED feeding off of getting reactions out of me… a few times she’d draw me back in with jabs at my character and a bunch of gaslighting… only for me to inevitably grey rock again and stick to it… she got bored… the abuse changed to financial to keep me trapped… it was a nightmare. I’m so glad to be out. Knowing what I knew about narcissists at that point saved me. I would probably still be there right now. I left in April of 2023 on my birthday. I never liked my birthday… now every year is a reminder that I’m free
The bait happened twice with my in laws.😂 This was months after the smear campaign about me. The smear campaign was when I’ve had enough of the monthly bullying from my mother in law. My husband and I don’t jump up to see what’s going on. I have a sister in law, and a lot of uncle and aunt in laws. When the last bait conversation happened, we left on the spot, and we haven’t spoken since.
You are really putting words of understanding behind the phrases that we often use. I am resonating with these things more and more and can see it operating in my life. I particularly like less expressive and more declarative approach to communication. And I like that you don't ever want us to accept any blame and penance to be put on us! I am working to check out of their reality and what they want to be the understanding of what is going on.
Thank you for the work you do Danish! This video resonated with me knowing that when I kicked out the NARC GF, I did the right thing to protect myself going forward with ending the relationship by setting boundaries and going no contact and blocking her indefinitely. One and a half years later, my friends who know her told me they all see her for what she is now, Karma my friend!
It's exactly as you say. You are not human to these people. You are a robot and you will do as you are told and perform on que. If you don't their displeasure will be very publicly displayed. Get quiet, don't tell what you are about to do and get gone without a way back. Its the only way to win and possibly the only way to survive.
If i had this information in my 20's what a different life I would have had. But I'm nearing my 60's and am thankful for the chance to still live my best life! Thank you Danish!
Thank you, Danish. I appreciate all your wisdom concerning ways to move on from the narcissist. And to recognize their tricks and ploys. Man, these people suck! And...now subscribed!
I used technique 3 and it freed me, and now I feel much better, but I can't help but be angry with myself for having fallen into the clutches and have unconditionally trusted on a narcissistic woman.
In what turned out to be the final months of my 28 year marriage to my ex, one day he was verbally abusing me while I was putting his clothes away. I turned to him and calmly said “I do not accept that from you, and I will no longer tolerate you speaking to me like that”. Then I picked up my car keys and quietly left for several hours. He never abused me verbally again.
there is a lot of fear in narcissist relation ships and my narcissist was very competitive I did nt fear God in the why I feared my narcissist and that saved me so it was a different fear.
@@jbrown2908my x narcis was trying to make me choose between God and him also tried to get between my son and me, just could nt compete with God that was my point.
Thank you for your advice. Now I know how to handle my nasty sister. I suffered for a long time, and I have decided not to bother with her, I have peace now.
So true. We need to hear it many times that "no reaction at all times" should be the ultimate goal. Thanks Danish. I'm trying really hard to bring it into my practice but sometimes I am not able to especially that I am hard working and genuine person and the narcissistic coworker does smear campaigning and the others start questioning me if what they say is true!
I have been binge watching your videos. You are clear and full of wisdom..and most likely from your own experience. I am glad i found your channel. It was timely.😊
At times I've wanted to play the same games/ tactics they use...smearing them...letting others know of abuse and very personal matters, playing the victim, informing everyone whom they truly are !! But I truly believe they shall reap what they sow, and certainly do not wish to help facilitate their karma..and thus having their karma come back to me. 🙏☀️🙏
Too often, though, they don't reap what they sow--they thrive. I've been shut down enough in my investigative work to conclude there's no such thing as karma. I used to think it was my responsibility to warn people about narcs, but it backfired as people just found my "drama" amusing. I essentially ran my own smear campaign, announcing what a bitter loser I was, which was the general interpretation of things.
Best lessons for me,iam on being my own and not interested in engaging with them anymore than a greeting. It is too sickening and exhausting to the core. I do not want even favours from them.
As i type he's in another room volume louder and i went in another room he's saying get out this is my house mimicing I'm praying he discards me i can't stand him i won't insult a 12 year old he's a nut case it's over now go.
Music to my ears 😀. Your silence is your power. Once I stopped reacting and gave narcissist near infinite silent treatment he left me alone with occasional insertion in my conversation with others. We still live in same house as we both renting and I got another narc there whom I discarded too after his blowout for spinach in the sink. I went nope 😂 never again.
What a great video - especially when you DO have to have contact with the narc - that is, to keep i emotionless and detached and remember they are sick individuals who need to suck you dry. It's hard, but work at it until what they say, may make your body shake, but your soul is steady and strong and true. THAT is power.
You're absolutely correct on all points! My two narcs are my parents. My narc mom will fake a diabetic reaction or fake a fall to try and get me to engage with her. With the fake diabetic reactions, when she would slump herself down on the loveseat, drool and stare with eyes wide open. Just to see what would happen if I didn't take the bait, I ignored her and left the house. When I returned later, she miraculously wasn't having one anymore! She just gave me a nasty smirk when I came in. With the fake falls, no one ever sees her falls and there is no auditory clues that she has fallen: no distressed vocalization, no crashing or booming sound of her hitting the ground (she's about 300 lbs, which is going to make A LOT of noise when she hits the floor) and no bruises from supposedly falling. My question, though, is what if she's having a REAL emergency and I mistake it for her faking again. Or what if I think it's real and call the paramedics, only for her to have another one of her impossible, miraculous recoveries when they come? I don't want to tie up an ambulance that could be going to save the life of someone with a genuine emergency. Not to mention taking her bait. But, as much as I hate my narc mom, I don't want to ignore a REAL emergency. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!
Very wise especially with remembering all the times they were not there for you. Sometimes we give family a pass on how they treat us. We would never accept it from a stranger. They are sweet because they want something.
What a gift you just gave me. To say that the smear campaign currently being waged against me is an indication that I am winning- that shift in perception is huge for me. Thank you so much.
I am a Dr Ramani and Richard Grannon fan. Your content is really ,really great!!! I watch these videos to educate myself and also to work on any tendencies I might have. Thanks for some great videos. I am binge watching
What shocks my mother to the core is she knows that I know who she is now because my therapist gave me a paper and she said I think your mother‘s a narcissist and I looked up everything on RUclips and I’m studying it like I’m in college I’m 63 years old I always knew there was something wrong in the family but I didn’t know what it was and I was the one that was scapegoated they still try, but I keep away from them mostly and when I’m away from them, my life is peaceful when I go around them and and see the dysfunction and the unhappiness, you know with the golden child and the invisible child, and, my sister‘s daughter and it’s just oh my God the dysfunction I’m just even with everything I went through. I’m grateful to be me my self talk to myself is no longer negative. I believe in myself. I still have a lot to learn, but I’m going to therapy and Group and I will no longer let her get to me where I do Cell that let the hurt turn in where I hurt myself she can no longer get to me, but if I tried telling her I know who she is and she knows I know then she’s on the attack so I just let it be because narcissist don’t change and they only get worse with age because they’re not as sharp she’s 90 years old she’s still pretty sharp. She looks really good, but she’s meaner than ever. She just evicted from the farm that my father had gotten for me and my sons one of my sons she served with an addiction notice and his daughter is DEAF and the cochlear is too damaged to ever be repaired, she had the implant it didn’t work she will never be able to speak, or hear she goes to the school for the deaf
If they scream yell cuss n do all those crazy things n u dont respond to that n when they r done with it you say r u ok? Or i do not respond to that volume or those words. That makes them go nuts.
I have gained so much understanding from your videos and I just want to say Thank you. When you name a demon it is called out. Thank you for naming the demon so that I can call it out and out of my life for good. God Bless you.
Its sad because I had a family but there wasn't very much love. It was more like a control, power and being a object. So much missing out on having a loving snd caring family.
This video is a good reminder to those who are leaving or who have left a narcissist. Don't play their game and you will win.
Never let your guard down, mine withheld sex, ok by me (now I say you made this prob now you fix it).. Today I shot that he thought that would work as I'd let him think it was the best sex I'd ever had... Ah such freedom is fun!
@@PrayerPartnerExtraordinaire Correct. There is NO win. There is simply walk away and forget them.
There is a win when you walk away. You get your life back. You get your power back. If you see that as a loss you are still under the control of the narcissist.
@@walkingjudy3067 No one said it was a loss. Just because there is no win doesn't mean a loss. But thanks for trying to insult me. Are you a narcissist?
@@PrayerPartnerExtraordinaire absolute a win, indeed and a savage one to.
Never go back is 100 % correct
So true, I've had to ignore quite a few seemingly civil emails from someone before that person finally stopped emailing me. She's the only person I can think of who I had to actively go no contact with, although there were others I had to avoid but circumstances had separated us geographically. Only once have I had to actually Stand My Ground with the no contact.
Your love, care, concern, compassion & empathy are the very tools a narcissist depends on to use against you to destroy you and they are overjoyed that you assisted them in your destruction.
Before discrading the narcisist i married i became stoic or indiffernet nothing he said affected me he told me your boring 😂i told him leave me and go find excitement i have gone no contact and now he reaching out nah doesnt deserve to hear from me ever again i value my peace 😊🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I love to see it!
After going grey rock, and no contact, with someone you loved.
Can you feel as free and alive, as you once did. Has a little bit of something inside died. Or do you feel more appreciative of life again?
Watching these videos this morning helped me to realize that I am actually being stoic with a narcissist right now and they absolutely do not know how to take it. I feel very certain their next move will be playing the victim if they are not currently doing that. Thank you for your content.
More power to you
Grey Rocking the narcissist does work, you starve them of any attention.
Who doesn't need energy, let 'em get their own soul crushing vampires.
Exactly. Let them get it from themselves. We r tired.
This is legit
Grey Rocking doesn’t work for all narcissists. Some will get violently angry by it and would not care about acting on that anger
I stave mine from finding a reason to criticize me for.
Give them silence!
I am doing no-contact, it's fantastic!
I wasn't so good at that in my twenties, because as soon as someone started resembling a human being, especially because that person was a co-worker, I've given and speak to him again and then we were back where we were.
Yes... His last hoover attempt with me was very painful for him I'm sure because I did not play along with his evil mind games. He found out on that hoover day that I am no longer his little puppet anymore. And, I didn't even have to say a word to him. I let my actions speak very loudly for me.
Anyway, He just popped up at my door one day out of the blue like he was going to come and visit me. Wrong!!!! He didn't get to "VISIT" with me. He got to be totally ignored by me because I never went to the door. I totally ignored him while he kept knocking and knocking and knocking on my door.
Before he FINALLY gave up and left, he started yelling my name out loud for me to "Come to the damn door!" But, I didn't do what the little cry baby boy wanted me to do.
His ego took a HUGE hit on that hoover day. And, after that, he's never come around me again for another dose of that medicine. That's been over 2 years ago now.
After that, I feel very sure that he is still fuming, and he is still raging deep inside because I refused to let him feed off of me.
The creatures hold a grudge forever. They never forgive, or forget when someone hurts their pride. And, as they age, their rage only intensifies.
Too bad, so sad that he will never be able to have access to me EVER again! I have made sure of that. He will never see my face or hear my voice again! He can search for me everywhere, but he'll NEVER find me!
Amen amen amen. 🙏🏽 for sharing!! Good for you!!!
@@Wayoutgurl ❤🙏❤
You have done the best thing anybody can do. Loved your strength how you dealt with it.
I am suffering too currently but hopefully I will recover too just like you and not entertain him anymore
My narc mother did exactly that… using her health as bait. When I stopped responding, her health issues went away.
They do that! I just said that same thing!
Exactly!! My narc mom suggests to me that I need meds when I actually eat my fruits and vegetables as well as drink water but she doesn't do these things which is why she's on meds now! I've done everything for her as a daughter should only to be called out of my name and that is disrespectful!
@@shareesejohnson7104Narcs are the biggest hypocrites and will forever project themselves onto you. You need to do this and that, while they never apply those things to their lives.
Gold!this one.👍😊❤️
I wish we'd all teach this to young people before they encounter narcissists. I eventually figured out some things on my own the hard way, but still, these videos have helped me so much. Thank you for making them.
I am teaching this to my children as we have some narcissistic relatives, and I want the children to be truly free. I wish someone would have taught it to me, but this is what growth is. It is for us to teach what we have learned so that others do not fall into the same pits that we have.
@@naowright9308 Agree, but based on the comments, narcissistic behavior is quite common, and these levels indicate a need for officially adding appropriate human behavior response/ coping measures (elementary basic psychology) to the list of adulting skills that any good public education provides for children of all ages. Bullying is both taught and learned. Humanity traditionally rewards barbaric behavior. Better behavior and higher expectations have to be taught and rewarded more.
@@naowright9308you're an amazing parent for that 🔥 keep up the excellent work
@@louisanowonly when we outnumber them and hold them accountable they'll be forced to hide / disengage / and cower en-masse. 😊 It will also be difficult for them to pass on their pathology, the way I see it, we are at w@ r with them.
@louisanow I sometimes teach a psychology class to homeschoolers, and I always add some points about narcissism and my experience with it. Then, I point out how to spot it in this particular point of psychology and what to expect from then.
That the narcissist isn't the center of the universe: that will be humbling!
Once I realize someone is a narcissist, I lose all respect and interest in them. I'll still be polite and civil if they are...but everything they do or say irritates me, knowing what they are and what to expect (or not to expect) from them.
Totally!
Realizing that shit always has me crawling in my skin, wanting to get away from them. Being raised by a narcissist, I don’t enjoy how utterly draining they can be… mine was such a frikin energy vampire that I’d isolate for weeks and months to recover. It’d take weeks/months because I’d still have to interact here and there with her due to living together. It was so utterly draining to be in her presence. She fed off every emotion, especially anger.
Thank you for helping me to realize that the smear campaign is just the narcissists last effort to control and destroy. My character got assassinated really bad and I let it eat away at me. I’m going to remember that the people who deserve to be in my life will be and the rest of the trash can take themselves out.
Yes! It helps knowing that the ‘Smear Campaign is Actually a Victory!’
🙏🏻🕊🍃
Yeah my family did that to me and when you live in a small town, that can affect you. I'm pretty much no contact with them and keep my business to myself. It's the only way I can move forward without everything being sabotaged.
This is true, and I have to co parent with a narcissist and I learned that it's just all on me now, I'm a mother and father to my children and learned to do all on my own and it's hard and everything BUT it's the best, it's better and healthier than keeping this person mixing themselves in and making a mess of everything.
I'm in the same nightmare, not as easy when children are involved to get out stay out. I have tried everything. I refer to myself as a solo parent not a single mother. I do everything he does nothing only make it impossible. I can't bear it.
For the over all development kids need both parents. But the narc father always keep himself away😢. When around he scolds mother for taking care of the children because he never got this much care from his parents🙁
I've been only parent to our kids for nearly 14 years. Any love my son tries to give to his mum is met with a push off, our kids know exactly who makes them feel loved and special and have said they aren't bothered if they ever see her again. To the world and her family she's the perfect mother..
son is 13, said I love you to his mum and she called him a puffamd she's busy.. On her phone.
With me I don't want to let go of him when he shows me affection and we are both happy and close.
Aren't you wonderful, mine went onto being my brat daughter who moved out while still a student against my wishes, he was her friend, she boycotted me a yr onto a few weeks, my husband saw it as futile but truth is he'll go against me with anyone, we both know it and I'm looking forward to letting that cat out of the bag! Least I don't tell lies or project my crazies as they do! 😊
I have been doing this since the past 25 years.
They are ALWAYS playing mind games...deploy your poker face ❤
It’s exhausting
I like the song pocket face by lady gaga
Pocker face lady Gaga
Somehow I managed on my own (in my late 50's) to figure out a strategy to deal with my horrific narc mother. I quit giving her the reaction she was anticipating. Typically that would be a laugh, maybe a incredulous head shake or eye roll and no verbal response. The point was to convey to her that what she just said or did was ridiculous. The first time I tried it she WAS shocked!! She was going for the usual berating and arguments but instead she got laughed in her face. Took a lot of practice to react to her this way but eventually it is what saved me mentally to tolerate her until her death.
Let’s get into the powerful energy and vibration which the Truth carries and the narcisists will be shocked to their core. They will disperse exactly the way darkness disappears when confronted with the light.
Well said ❤
Exactly. Nothing scares them like the Truth❤️🙏🕊️
Yes!
Absolutely!!!
Do a surgical cut to deplete the narcissist's ego. They will submit to you. Show them strength that no one can demolish you. That's what I did, and it worked well. If he can not take me, the door is open wide. He can find somebody else. I don't need a narcissist in my life, and I told him I lived alone before and I could live alone again. I'm capable of living on my own. It would be nice to have someone but not a narcissist.
In most cases if you attack a narcissist, they will exit because they can't handle a strong woman
Narcissists feel entitled and above their family it’s so sad!! Thank you Danish for your videos of teaching about “Narcissists”. You are helping a lot of us who deal with or have dealt with Narcissists. They need boundaries.
I watched another employee who was a covert narcissist run smear campaigns against so many other people for years! She had a regular routine and the drama just went round and round. She lived for it.
I work with two coworkers that smear my name for telling them what they did to me (Criminal acts) they turned it around that I did them wrong. NARCISSISTIC LOSERS
6:22 ...utterly savage yet 100% truthful. Danish always hits the nail on the head!
The narcisisst has been callimg my phome since octorber last year and sends texts me silence 🔕 no respond or reply at all when married to me he didnt care at all now i dont care about that ungrateful creature no more 😊👍🏽
Stoic works, also just being too sick to react. That’s why they really hate sick people- they are harder to manipulate
Interesting…🤔
In my experience it’s not because they’re harder to manipulate… it’s because they have attention on them. My mother couldn’t stand when I was sick bc I actually needed her to be my mother and she couldn’t stand the attention not being on her. The reason I knows it’s bc the attention isn’t on her, is bc when my sister would get sick, she’d take care of her… this was bc she was able to tell ppl about her poor asthmatic (and later POTS and AMPS) daughter that she takes care of. It has to be about them somehow… if it is not, it either angers them or simply disinterests them. I worked with my narc mother for a period of about 9 months. You wouldn’t believe how many times I heard that awful human being tell strangers about her sick daughter and how she has to get up at the crack of dawn to take her to appointments and how tired she is. She’d be sure to finish off each convo with “she’s a trooper” so she could claim she wasn’t making it about herself
Danish speaks facts here. This is exactly what my ex did to me when I caught him texting and talking another woman. When he hovered unsuccessfully 6 months after I blocked him, he started the smear campaign. His son’s mom was the one who came to me and told me what he was saying to his friends and family. I just laughed at how desperate he was to look like the good guy. She would call or text me telling me about his negative behavior towards his adult children. Found out recently that he left the new supply to be with his son’s mom. She’s all over her social media declaring her love for him. 😮 Had to block her and his kids also now. I value my peace!
Here's my situation. Both my parents are narcissistic. I have two siblings. I am out of their clutches. But I constantly keep feeling bad for my siblings. My mother is using them to keep them away from me. I constantly miss them. Having no family of origin is hard. I told my sister they are narcs. It didn't make any difference. I have a wife and a kid. We are happy. But it does feel quite lonely from time to time.
It IS lonely sometimes. I feel you. And it’s totally fine to grieve that and put self love and self compassion into action by acknowledging the loneliness, acknowledging that it isn’t fair, and acknowledging that we miss certain people.
It’s just more evidence of why we need to stay No Contact though. Look at how evil they are! They turn our own siblings and children and extended family and friends against us! Never forget that bit even as you grieve.
Stay away and pray. That’s about all you can do sometimes. Only God can repair . And that’s if he chooses to. I understand. I understand.
I can relate. As soon as mum died my covert narc older sister remember bed the mask she’d put on over 30 years ago as soon as she got engaged. She first denigrated my sick adult child, then my husband then consistently inflicted abuse and lied about me to the other abusive sibling knowing he would be abusive based on her lies. Just like how she lied to our father that I hit her after she had punched /slapped me then kicked me in the guts growing up knowing I would get belted for it every time. I was half her size and out violent abuser father would never once ask me what happened. Mum finally caught her out lying after hurting me yet again, when I was about 11 and she 14. The violent abuse started when I was 8. Mum realized then she was not only a liar but an abuser also. So my sister never attacked me /tried to attack me when Mum was home or our 2 older brothers around coz they would stop her. My bff knew she was verbally abusive coz she didn’t hide that from my friends or our younger brother. But hid her real violent sadistic vicious self from those she wanted to manipulate. And now she’s manipulating my 2 older brothers and their spouses. I don’t know if her husband whom I got along with previously knows she’s a viscous perverse abuser. It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s lied to him their whole marriage either. Going no contact to protect myself and my own family she saying I am the one torturing the whole extended family. 🤷🏽♀️. Just like I had to do since I was 11 to 19 and avoid her because her physical violence and verbal abuse was out of control. I’m doing that once again. Except I’m not trapped in that house where I had to barricade my bedroom door/ hide under the house/ hide in the bush/ take the dogs for a walk / hide under the house during thunderstorms after being locked out after running away from being assaulted- and having to wait until Mim got home. I now just simply live far away where the psycho can’t get at me. 👍🏼
Narcissists seem to exist in far larger numbers than I realized. I thought the first one I'd encountered was an anomaly because of the isolated state I was in. I wonder if anyone's studied that, and if there's a spectrum, because some of them seem worse than others. Currently in the US, there is so much narcissistic behavior in the public and private spaces. For instance, the once-dominant fundamentalist extremist religion here is lashing out at their targets at every opportunity, doing all they can to get any reaction at all (often w/ their video phones at the ready) in public, in and around their homes, using lights, noises, stalking behaviors (to instill fear). (My stoic skills are so useful these days. 😅) There's an old saying that fits my experience, I tend to “attract cats and crazy people”. Cats are lovely company.
Cats are lovely company!!!
Read that the ratio is 1 in 6 are narcissists. My son is with one, keeps taking the abuse because of 2 very small children. He's an alpha and I never thought he would keep taking the abuse she gives him. I can't visit anymore as an empath, the energy is overwhelming. Heartbreaking not seeing the grandchildren, but atmosphere hurts my soul.
Tragically, they pretty much run the world. They are aggressive or passive/aggressive and they take, take take. But we find our power through our self-honesty and our integrity.
@@shelfuller724 I'm so sorry. I'm narc mother did this to us, leaving our grandparents out in the cold. But those children will grow up and learn how to make their own decisions.And they will see their parents more clearly. I believe that they will come to you. Hugs.
Loved it Danish. It makes me feel so good to know that whenever I ignore him and don't respond it is a victory for me after all the years of me being the loser.
I’m learning not to take what the narcissist said to me personally. They would be like this even if I didn’t exist. They even admitted I’m not their only target. I’m currently practicing not thinking about them as I know mine is a cyber stalker, an energy vampire and will do anything to get me to focus on them. The grey rock and stoic advice is the best ever. I think the ultimate goal is to completely stop giving a shit and not even think of them or respond at all. It’s the only way to full recovery. I’m
Already halfway there as they are fully blocked on all social media accounts.
I love how u call them "rotten individuals" 😂😂😂😂😂
They are 😅
This was all spot on and very useful. The day/night that No Contact came around for me, drinking (by the spousenarc) was part of the context; i had employed at least 3 of the 5 items you cover here, but he got irate and began throwing and breaking items. ...May EVERYONE please exercise caution if you grey rock so successfully that your narc blows up after a sixpack. The cops were called (& sadly not by me) and i won't even contact him about taxes for this year -- screw the $$, *No Contact* is *No Contact*
This makes sense to me. When I was originally discarded because I told her she wasn’t worth it, she said she would tell everyone that I’m a bad person and a liar. 5 years later when she found out I was having a child with someone else, she got our children against me and said I hurt them. I told her I was done with all her BS. I also, regretfully, called her out on many things and told her I was done with her an I will deal with our children on my own. She again, said she would tell everyone that I am purposely having another child just to hurt ours.
I have a baby with a narcissist, I have been trying so hard to avoid him, I don't want to communicate with him frequently, I brought up an idea that we should sum up what he can bring for the child's welfare every month,but he has refused to have that conversation with me, he prefers i call him anytime i need financial support from him to take care of our baby.
I'm trying so hard to heal.
He keeps hurting me.
My heart is bleeding, I feel like I'm living some else's life.
I don't know what to do.
I usually have suicidal thoughts. But anytime I think about my baby,I always have a second thought.
He's messing with my mind.
I'm exhausted.
i watch videos like this to continue to remind myself, of the types of people i don't want to have again in my life.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Hi again from Pointe Claire, right you are but they're all family and so you've really got to be fed up, no contact removes the family and that's how horrid they are, imagine being better off, who needs enemies!
@joseenoel8093 it takes a lot of strength and mental toughness to choose solitude over being around negative and toxic people, especially "friends" and family.
most people aren't willing or able to go no-contact.
-cheers, steven
Totally agree with you! I have learnt so much. The pastor, preacher, teacher type....they are the worst! In less than a year he got another supply. He lives a double life! Then he is in New York, Riverton Wyoming, Denver and then comes back to SA. Goes to Cape Town, Jhb, Port Elizabeth Now staying in a small town Wish he will move back He claims to preach the Gospel....Liar, deceiver, likes the sites where these women advertise themselves!! This man is a wolf in sheep clothing Demonic! Wonder if the different victims will ever know about each other 🙈
Grey rocking and no contact saved me. I was so stressed and breaking out in hives daily till I figured out the problem.
When you're surrounded by not one but plenty of narcissists ....you learn to rely only on your instincts and God. God will ALWAYS lead the way. I know their evil and they'll do ANYTHING to hurt you...but it's also true they are not the final authority on everything in life. God is. My narcissist's ALL OF THEM.. tried their hardest to keep me stuck where I was...but in the end God delivered me and my daughter. Just keep believing. No matter which religion you are....just believe in a higher power. I've found that going to church has really helped me. They are not as powerful as they pretend to be. They scare others because they are weak and scared lil children inside.I just feel ...sorry for them. That's all.
Thank you so much for this. I have a daughter too. Although i divorced my covert narc I still have plenty of narcs in the family. Thank you for the reminder on God and church. I'm a Muslim so Allah and my 5 daily prayers. Thank you.
I am so sorry that you went through such abuse 💔 in your family. Not fair that you had to experience such life changing and shocking abuse on your childhood. Praying that your heart will heal, giving you comfort and peace.
It wasn't until I finally left the relationship for the last time and did loads of research etc., that I realised my ex partner is a Covert Narcissist. Being with him was like riding an emotional rollercoaster from hell.
I walked into our relationship as a confident, happy, secure person, including being financially independent. I left that relationship feeling like half the person I was.
After I finally left, I did start worrying about him telling lies and saying wrongful things about me to others, but no point wasting energy worrying about things out of my control.
So true I have been a full time carer for my frail mother for 10 years. My narcissistic sister has been coming around and causing trouble stressing out mum. I have been going no contact with her but using mum to get a reaction out of me. I sent her packing, havent seen her for 3 months. All this time she has been scheming about ways to get back at me.I found out she has been going around town trying to give me a bad name putting me down saying Im not looking after mum at all, just bludging off her. She has done nothing to help out with mum in the last 10 years. The only two things she is worried about is WHEN and How much she will get.
Is your partner manipulative, you want to have access to their phone?google chat eaglespy72
You described the argument with my husband this morning. He operated in all these examples. I fall for it and even though I try not to engage, I keep finding myself getting into it. He sucks my energy and then when he's taken it to the fullest height, I'm done and he's satisfied. Then, the "apologizing" comes. It's the same cat and mouse dance no matter how many times I think we've grown from this.
Your techniques helping me a lot! Thank you so much Danish 💖
Thank you Danish your words are so wise I smiled when you explained no reaction drives them crazy They can try their smeer campaigns IM done playing their games I'm not playing their games anymore
I made the mistake of looking through old photos. We were both so happy for a long, long time. She wasn't always manipulative, she became that way. The last couple years she changed. I don't know what happened- it was gradual and subtle. I resent the person she is today, but I miss the person she once was. I miss the person I used to be. I've changed so much that I don't recognize myself anymore.
Glad to say I’m not a narcissist
me too. But living with one since age 18 now 54 yrs of marriage (He now has Alzheimers & is in Assisted Living facility) has been awful. Now my having peace and quietness and being able to make my own decisions including what I will eat is heavenly. I watch Danish’s video to continue to learn all I can on how to deal with Narcissists.
@@annawallace3264yes it's amazing that they want to tell you what to eat and that you cook wrong. Thus Narc plows a pair of sciccors though all the meat on the plate. She eats off the fork and EXPECTS me to eat off of it too !!! Massively disgusting !!! She'll send food to work with me and " plop" going right in the garbage. I'm not her dog eating her table scraps.
"oh I'm having a heart attack" ok I'm dialing 911! Your backtracking/better to late! I'm talking to them now.
My narc mom does this. She'll fake having a diabetic reaction or fake having fallen and not being able to get up (she's about 300lbs). When I ignore her, she miraculously gets better with no medical intervention at all! So, I've been ignoring all of her attempts to bait me (by pretending to need medical attention) for about a year now. She's really playing with fire! She hasn't even thought about the very real possibility of her having a real medical emergency and me ignoring her, thinking that she's just faking again. It's one VERY nasty trap she's playing with!
@@jbrown2908
😆 I’m saying … stop playing with us!!! 😂
I go from listening and incorporating strategies, to completely stopping all incoming about narcissists, taking a break, not wanting to think about it. Healthy choice. Then i come back for reminders and info, also validation.
I did exactly that two years ago before leaving and it works 100% He was shocked confused and got crazy… no more buttons to be pushed. Game over!
Something I found that works at making people stop being aggressive Is just staring straight at them.
Don't talk, make only a few movements and and just occasionally stare at them showing a completely blank expression.
Coparents in this situation: communicate via text ONLY. No social media contact, no calls, no verbal attempts that will escalate and be reported inaccurately. Text and screenshot EVERYTHING. Refuse to engage any other way.
In those texts, keep it professional, don’t take bait, and always respond like it will be read aloud in court - because it might.
Have a way to check on the wellbeing of your children when with the narcs & Pray for their safety when with him & his supporters.
Thank you for helping us who are here to learn discernment of energies. Once we know, we know!
Thank you for your excellent advice. You are spot on with everything. I've recently had to draw a line in the sand with certain "family members." After years of "being nice" and "generous" and "accommodating" I've pulled the plug on them. Everything you say is absolutely true. The sad thing is that these cretins never realized how good they had it. I will never deal with them again. They had their chance and they've blown it. And now I will focus on my ailing health and get my affairs in order. And they won't ever see a dime from me.
Damn. The lack of emotions in my voice…. I’d do this before I fully understood this… at first she was incredibly angry and abusive, in response to this because she LOVED feeding off of getting reactions out of me… a few times she’d draw me back in with jabs at my character and a bunch of gaslighting… only for me to inevitably grey rock again and stick to it… she got bored… the abuse changed to financial to keep me trapped… it was a nightmare. I’m so glad to be out. Knowing what I knew about narcissists at that point saved me. I would probably still be there right now. I left in April of 2023 on my birthday. I never liked my birthday… now every year is a reminder that I’m free
The bait happened twice with my in laws.😂 This was months after the smear campaign about me. The smear campaign was when I’ve had enough of the monthly bullying from my mother in law. My husband and I don’t jump up to see what’s going on. I have a sister in law, and a lot of uncle and aunt in laws. When the last bait conversation happened, we left on the spot, and we haven’t spoken since.
You are really putting words of understanding behind the phrases that we often use. I am resonating with these things more and more and can see it operating in my life. I particularly like less expressive and more declarative approach to communication. And I like that you don't ever want us to accept any blame and penance to be put on us! I am working to check out of their reality and what they want to be the understanding of what is going on.
Thank you for the work you do Danish! This video resonated with me knowing that when I kicked out the NARC GF, I did the right thing to protect myself going forward with ending the relationship by setting boundaries and going no contact and blocking her indefinitely. One and a half years later, my friends who know her told me they all see her for what she is now, Karma my friend!
It's exactly as you say. You are not human to these people. You are a robot and you will do as you are told and perform on que. If you don't their displeasure will be very publicly displayed. Get quiet, don't tell what you are about to do and get gone without a way back. Its the only way to win and possibly the only way to survive.
If i had this information in my 20's what a different life I would have had. But I'm nearing my 60's and am thankful for the chance to still live my best life! Thank you Danish!
Thank you, Danish. I appreciate all your wisdom concerning ways to move on from the narcissist. And to recognize their tricks and ploys. Man, these people suck!
And...now subscribed!
All of these are 100% right you have helped me so much thank you Danish from Greece 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
I used technique 3 and it freed me, and now I feel much better, but I can't help but be angry with myself for having fallen into the clutches and have unconditionally trusted on a narcissistic woman.
In what turned out to be the final months of my 28 year marriage to my ex, one day he was verbally abusing me while I was putting his clothes away. I turned to him and calmly said “I do not accept that from you, and I will no longer tolerate you speaking to me like that”. Then I picked up my car keys and quietly left for several hours.
He never abused me verbally again.
You’ve opened my eyes in so many ways
My narcissist relationship was over when i said I fear God more than you .
Why would you fear God?
@@jpr9863A respectful fear as child respects a good parent
@@jbrown2908A respectful fear a life saving fear
there is a lot of fear in narcissist relation ships and my narcissist was very competitive I did nt fear God in the why I feared my narcissist and that saved me so it was a different fear.
@@jbrown2908my x narcis was trying to make me choose between God and him also tried to get between my son and me, just could nt compete with God that was my point.
Thank you for your advice. Now I know how to handle my nasty sister. I suffered for a long time, and I have decided not to bother with her, I have peace now.
Thank you, Danish. Thank you for making These videos
Spot on as usual thank you Danish. Can we have a video of how much the narcissist suffers? That would be such a refreshing palate cleanser.
Doubtful they never self reflect.
But narcissists are problem generators, not problem solvers. That's one obvious characteristic.
True never thought of it that way
Very true. They love picking arguments and making accusations just to get you stirred up
Love this.. generator!
Omg my husband always said he's a problem solver now I know he was a problem
They tried to make me come back but I blocked them after the call with them.
So true. We need to hear it many times that "no reaction at all times" should be the ultimate goal. Thanks Danish. I'm trying really hard to bring it into my practice but sometimes I am not able to especially that I am hard working and genuine person and the narcissistic coworker does smear campaigning and the others start questioning me if what they say is true!
Your preaching is sainthood
Please make a video on relationship between a convert narc and a narc
You have helped me get thru neighbors that are narc. Your wisdom got me through impossible moments. Keep sharing to keep us educated!❤
Thank you so much.
I have been binge watching your videos. You are clear and full of wisdom..and most likely from your own experience. I am glad i found your channel. It was timely.😊
I wish I had the strength to do these things when I was dealing with the narc! Lesson learned.
At times I've wanted to play the same games/ tactics they use...smearing them...letting others know of abuse and very personal matters, playing the victim, informing everyone whom they truly are !!
But I truly believe they shall reap what they sow, and certainly do not wish to help facilitate their karma..and thus having their karma come back to me. 🙏☀️🙏
Too often, though, they don't reap what they sow--they thrive. I've been shut down enough in my investigative work to conclude there's no such thing as karma. I used to think it was my responsibility to warn people about narcs, but it backfired as people just found my "drama" amusing. I essentially ran my own smear campaign, announcing what a bitter loser I was, which was the general interpretation of things.
Right, don't take the bait!!
Best lessons for me,iam on being my own and not interested in engaging with them anymore than a greeting. It is too sickening and exhausting to the core. I do not want even favours from them.
As i type he's in another room volume louder and i went in another room he's saying get out this is my house mimicing I'm praying he discards me i can't stand him i won't insult a 12 year old he's a nut case it's over now go.
Music to my ears 😀. Your silence is your power. Once I stopped reacting and gave narcissist near infinite silent treatment he left me alone with occasional insertion in my conversation with others. We still live in same house as we both renting and I got another narc there whom I discarded too after his blowout for spinach in the sink. I went nope 😂 never again.
You are truly and angel sent from God. Thank you so much for validating so much pain and turmoil for so long. God bless you!
What a great video - especially when you DO have to have contact with the narc - that is, to keep i emotionless and detached and remember they are sick individuals who need to suck you dry. It's hard, but work at it until what they say, may make your body shake, but your soul is steady and strong and true. THAT is power.
You're absolutely correct on all points! My two narcs are my parents. My narc mom will fake a diabetic reaction or fake a fall to try and get me to engage with her. With the fake diabetic reactions, when she would slump herself down on the loveseat, drool and stare with eyes wide open. Just to see what would happen if I didn't take the bait, I ignored her and left the house. When I returned later, she miraculously wasn't having one anymore! She just gave me a nasty smirk when I came in. With the fake falls, no one ever sees her falls and there is no auditory clues that she has fallen: no distressed vocalization, no crashing or booming sound of her hitting the ground (she's about 300 lbs, which is going to make A LOT of noise when she hits the floor) and no bruises from supposedly falling. My question, though, is what if she's having a REAL emergency and I mistake it for her faking again. Or what if I think it's real and call the paramedics, only for her to have another one of her impossible, miraculous recoveries when they come? I don't want to tie up an ambulance that could be going to save the life of someone with a genuine emergency. Not to mention taking her bait. But, as much as I hate my narc mom, I don't want to ignore a REAL emergency. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!
get her a button she can wear so she can press it when she falls down or feels a coma coming on and the ambulance can come get her.
I agree with getting her one of those buttons. This is not on you. She's crying wolf
Unfortunately this has been suggested and my grandmother refuses. She would rather have your poor you reaction and attention
Wonderful suggestions! Tried setting boundaries ....irked the Narcy so much that it seems someone cut off their oxygen. Thank you immensely ❤
Awesome explanation...it feels like u lived my pain and experience
Very wise especially with remembering all the times they were not there for you. Sometimes we give family a pass on how they treat us. We would never accept it from a stranger. They are sweet because they want something.
Thank you Danish. Sometimes one's own pain becomes a means to lighten the burden of others. May you find truth and goodness.
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What a gift you just gave me. To say that the smear campaign currently being waged against me is an indication that I am winning- that shift in perception is huge for me. Thank you so much.
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You deserve a Nobel prize Danish
U have been with a lot , respect and ❤ .
My wife is a hell , thanks for the guidance 🙏
I am a Dr Ramani and Richard Grannon fan. Your content is really ,really great!!! I watch these videos to educate myself and also to work on any tendencies I might have. Thanks for some great videos. I am binge watching
What shocks my mother to the core is she knows that I know who she is now because my therapist gave me a paper and she said I think your mother‘s a narcissist and I looked up everything on RUclips and I’m studying it like I’m in college I’m 63 years old I always knew there was something wrong in the family but I didn’t know what it was and I was the one that was scapegoated they still try, but I keep away from them mostly and when I’m away from them, my life is peaceful when I go around them and and see the dysfunction and the unhappiness, you know with the golden child and the invisible child, and, my sister‘s daughter and it’s just oh my God the dysfunction I’m just even with everything I went through. I’m grateful to be me my self talk to myself is no longer negative. I believe in myself. I still have a lot to learn, but I’m going to therapy and Group and I will no longer let her get to me where I do Cell that let the hurt turn in where I hurt myself she can no longer get to me, but if I tried telling her I know who she is and she knows I know then she’s on the attack so I just let it be because narcissist don’t change and they only get worse with age because they’re not as sharp she’s 90 years old she’s still pretty sharp. She looks really good, but she’s meaner than ever. She just evicted from the farm that my father had gotten for me and my sons one of my sons she served with an addiction notice and his daughter is DEAF and the cochlear is too damaged to ever be repaired, she had the implant it didn’t work she will never be able to speak, or hear she goes to the school for the deaf
If they scream yell cuss n do all those crazy things n u dont respond to that n when they r done with it you say r u ok? Or i do not respond to that volume or those words. That makes them go nuts.
That not everyone is a selfish soulless shell like they are? That some people don’t fake feelings? Yup.
This is 100% accurate
I have gained so much understanding from your videos and I just want to say Thank you. When you name a demon it is called out. Thank you for naming the demon so that I can call it out and out of my life for good. God Bless you.
Everything what you say is more than correct !
Pure gems, tk you dear, God Bless
Very, very, VERY good Danish. Thank you! ❤
Thanks
Awesome! Fantastic recommendations, thank you
Its sad because I had a family but there wasn't very much love. It was more like a control, power and being a object. So much missing out on having a loving snd caring family.
Excellent again! thanks so much!!!