this is so on point i spent my youth beijg treated in such manner by men it also spilled over into my friendships i never said no i always gave to the point of exhaustion. i felt used unappreciated and bitter. i experienced CA and DV also Alcohol abuse in my home i was traumatised by by cruel bullying mother beaten to a point i was kept of school regularly missed school so much seen things i shouldn't have....the trauma i encountered at my mothers hands i attempted to unalive myself at 15 she called an ambulance and made me walk home. my pops i didnt know him when i found out she said he never wanted me that was on top of her telling me she should have aborted me. i went into the world fragile and got abused by men mentally physically and sexually. i ended up with 0 self worth or respect. i finally stayed on my own for 9 years i got into another relationship and started the same paterns previously never cared for my own needs etc focused on him. i ended up drained and empty i had nothing left i closed myself off he just sat there did nothing ive ended up figting back and arguig he now says i no longer care....Ladies men want a door mat they dont want submissive women they want someone they can disresepct period
Thank you for everything you do ❤️ I would love to hear more about Sexual kinks and childhood trauma. I defenetly think most us been through some type of abuse growing up.
I never have a problem with 'submission'. What I will not 'submit' to is a fool, narcissist, brokenness and foolishness. The biblical submission is to a man who is ready to lead and would NEVER abuse his position...and you are absolutely right about not submitting to a 'boyfriend'. No submission there for me.
I agree the woman should also be a woman worth leading and loving, to much Jezebel spirits and there is to much said about men, but hardly women looking at themselves and asking are they women worth a man leading, most women are not even virgins yet they want a man to be 100 💯 man and they ain’t virgins, jesus washed peoples feet, if a woman wants to serve him let her serve him who are we to judge what submission is or not, we need to look at ourselves and stop looking at others, love is humble love is pure and most dont walk like that, a woman doesn’t want a broke man so why should a man want a woman who is not a virgin
@@glecservices3114 so what if a woman isn't a virgin and she wants a masculine man who is a loving, great leader and a man of god? Breeny herself isn't a virgin, but she is a woman of class. Men want their women to be pure, to have a body that hasn't been touched, yet, they are out here in the streets and been in the streets. Nonsense.. I am personally picky, and I deserve to be that way because men are too.
Are men virgins in society and are most valuing being virgins? You forget God isn't a male on earth making excuses for lacking self control. Men and women are both expected to be chaste, according to God. So are the men who are leaders chaste, and waiting until marriage in addition to making sure they can honestly provide for their possible families? I get you that women should be less vulgar but men have been creating the disharmony through rape and greed to break their counterparts and also inhibit capable women from similarly providing for themselves.
As a man, I only had to get to 5:56 to know i had heard enough. If a man needs that sort of looking after, he needs a mother not a wife because he is a child. If a normal man ever had a woman treat him like that, he'd think she's overly intense and would lose respect for her as a seperate person. It's a terrible way to be and if i saw those behaviors in my sister or friend I'd be worried about the type of man that would seek her out, it only invites abusive behavior.
I disagree. What she did was being sunmission because her form of catering to her man was made on HER choice to how to submit to him. Not because her man was missing something she was already providing him.
Mother and relationship dynamics are built around the mother's responsibility, not choice. However, Jasmine's specific method of submitting to her man was her choice, not responsibility.
I'm unmarried and young, but my parents are going through a divorce right now after 30 years (I say this to point out how marriage, even one that goes well, isn't necessarily guaranteed to work forever). So I want to ask, what changes with marriage? If a relationship dynamic is abc the entire time your dating, co-habiting, an engaged, why would it suddenly become xyz when you're married?
@@KayGee_yt the answer is an entire essay but to keep short marriage is just different than dating. Typically women take on a lot of extra labor with marriage so it’s very easy to become resentful with just that. Men tend to be a burden in a lot of cases and not actual partners when it comes to raising children and the household duties.
@@KayGee_yt I think this has a lot to do with what is being said. I feel like God has a design for marriage and he intends on being part of the plan. One of the things that happen in a marriage is women are called to submit and men are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. I believe it starts with understanding what submission is and what love is. When we look at 1Corinthians 13 it describes what love is. That it's patient kind not conceited... Etc. It starts with understanding that love is not just a feeling and understanding that prayer and God play a huge role in the success of marriage and staying away from the worlds view of marriage.
The word “submit” has been taken out of context, it doesn’t mean a woman should enslave yourself and allow someone to make decisions on their behalf, without consulting her. It means that she must honor and commit to the relationship. A marriage does not give him nor her the power to control their partner. The Bible also says a ‘man should leave his family and cleave to his wife,’ it doesn’t mean that he severe ties with his family, it means, his wife takes precedent over his family. Your Husband is not your Father…no one should control or have authority over you. Women, please do not do wifey things to a significant other, honor and protect your heart. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
Can I also add that submission is a biblical concept and a lot of these men aren't even christians but, use that one principle out of context. Not to mention that the original translation in greek/roman/ Hebrew I don't even believe they used the word submission but, it was used in a different context. Plus, it says the husband is suppose to submit himself to his wife. The biggest piece these women are mission is they are only suppose to SUBMIT to a HUSBAND who is UNDER THE SUBMISSION OF The Father and Jesus Christ. Most of these men are not.
Such mindsets are the ones keeping so many modern women single and frustrated in their lifetime loneliness. You submit to the man as your leader, so he's an authority over you, period! Take it and be a happy wife or leave it and remain an angry single.
This is why I love the first "Coming to America" because the perfect woman that was willing to do everything for him....caused him to travel the world to find a woman he had to work for. Don't be the gorgeous woman hopping on one foot in a beautiful dress ladies, ever. God bless you Breeney as always for such wonderful and equally wise content. ❤
I loved this! When me and my boyfriend moved in together a year ago I was doing his laundry, cleaning up after him, buying him new socks and Tees and he flat out told me to stop. Now this is my first relationship where I feel like I’m not drained because he doesn’t allow me to do more for him than he does for me.
You got your rewards because you Invested into him, so your getting what you deserve, and good or great man that has a woman investing into him with love and genuineness with no messed up motives will get inspired by your actions and admire you and what to take care of you so well done
The part about sex is so real, I was actually thinking about this the other day, who told us that these things are normal. We’ve adopted other people’s perversions as sexual exploration.
Thank you! I found that part of the podcast quite disturbing. Why would a sane man want certain sexual acts with someone who doesn't even want to engage in it but they're forcing themselves in the name of submission
I haven’t finished watching but from what I saw the lady has mistaken submission with subservience. I do not believe that you should baby a man or play the role as his mother. The lady said she “studies” her man but stuttered and couldn’t respond when she was asked if her partner studied her😬 you cannot love a man into reciprocity. On top of that, her partner has 7 kids that are not hers and she is not married to him. Why play a wife role for a man who is not your husband?
Some women ain't playing wife roles because it's simply natural to them to be a wife before they're made a wife which is why they have a man they want to be with while other women chat about them 😉
As someone who’s been in a relationship for almost 18 yrs, married for 15, I don’t relate to her idea of a submissive wife sheesh! It’s all about cooperation, reciprocity, having boundaries and respecting an honouring not only each other, but ourselves as individuals.
when she said my love can heal, I felt so sad for her. If the mother who birthed the child cannot change him, you are delusional to even think to stand a chance. She needs several therapy sessions not babysitting an adult baby. I said on a different page that she is seeking for approval.
Wooooo lawd! Been there done that. Never again. A man will not like a woman more if she does all this. He either values her or he doesn’t. And yes submitting one to another is for marriage. She didn’t mention one thing that he does…As women our identity should be in God not a man. Prayers.
Did you submit to a good man or bad man? I would argue that the problem is not submission itself, but who you are submitting to. If you submit to a man that is thoughtful, considerate, provides for you, takes care of you, is submission wrong?
I do all that for my man every day of the week. But he’s my husband, we just celebrated our 16 yrs of marriage. I got married when I was 25 yrs old , was still in dental school . There’s nothing wrong with taking care of a good man . Having say that, that’s me taking care of my man. That is not submission. My husband works hard and have a very rewarding but demanding career. He deserves to be pampered, but he also give me back 20 times plus everything I do. I have everything a woman want and most importantly I have a man who love, value and respect me. 16 yrs of marriage to a man who’s successful, I have had no complaints, no side piece, no disrespect and I know there’s plenty temptation . I don’t think people understand what the Bible meant when it says wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wife like Christ love the church. I know in this country, when especially modern black American women hear the word submission , they lose their mind. In my opinion, the man got the hardest part of the deal because if you take time to think about it. Christ die for the church, bleeding out on a cross. So when the Bible say for a husband to love his wife the way Christ loved the church. By definition that’s a heck of a responsibility. Submission is allowing a man, a husband to lead. Even when there’s disagreement , even if he make mistakes while leading you. As the wife you trust him enough to know you don’t have to worry . He will lead both of you on the right path , even if he turn left when he was supposed to turn right. He will find his way. But to have that type of trust you have to feel completely safe with that man. Submission in marriage means selfishness, accountability and respect for your husband. In return you have a husband who would take a bullet for his family. He love , provide and protect his woman . .
Speak on it, sis. I’ve been to the circus, rode all the rides and won all the 🤡 prizes. Watching THAT interview, I definitely cringed and suffered severe second hand embarrassment. Bless her heart, for real. 🌺
Couldn't agree more about the *correlation between sexual kinks and childhood trauma.* I think it was Esther Perel who said, 'Tell me how you were loved when growing up and I'll tell you how you love and make love..' something along those lines. If we look around we'll see that most teenage pregnancies, sex workers, and victims of domestic abuse come from turbulent households. And this whole agenda that's being pushed these days telling a woman she doesn't need a man to raise a child isn't helping the situation. Not seen my dad for the last 20 years and I can clearly see how that has impacted the choices I make in life and love. Lots to unlearn.
As someone raised by single mom I feel you. I have trust issues when I've never been even been in a relationship and I'm beginning to think that my cynicism about men's intentions is a result of my dad's absence.
I am a totally open kink shamer. I do not understand how we have let it come so far that people (especially women) get slapped around in the bedroom but if it happened outside of that it would be abuse. If your man can hurt you in a sexual context it just means he can hurt you. Period. Like you and Breeny said it either stems from trauma or one is so manipulated by this constant input of "kinks are normal and healthy" that people dont know the harm. It also at best it makes sex a performance instead of an actual way of connection and that just doesnt sit right with me.
@@Haysti2000 I agree. I have a kink and always believed it came from somewhere unhealthy. Now, I wish we could all admit this when it comes to this alphabet community as well and people race-playing in the bed room 🥴
@@Mikirono23 yup! Totally agree. I myself thought the most degrading stuff was "hot". The point about kinks is not to hate on people who havent seen the light because I literally was on the other said. Its actually the reason why I feel so strongly about this. I would have never been disrespected like this had I seen someone tell me this before I believed kinks are healthy.
I listened to the entire podcast episode and Shan asked all the right questions. When she asked Jasmine what she’s getting out of it, Jasmine replied that she’s this way regardless of what she gets out of it. However, when Shan asked if she would submit to a broke man, Jasmine said “No!” Which completely contradicts her sentiment of the act of servitude, being her love language, regardless of who’s she’s with. I’m not sure who her man is but he’s clearly someone of stature and has money. To me, this means her love language is completely conditional. She puts herself in positions of servitude to gain love and affection, in hope of filling the voids of past trauma. You have to really listen to the entire podcast to understand why she does what she does. Praying for her and other women feeling the need to “do the most” for love.
Made a similar comment and observation! ✨ I hope she sees this video and some of the constructive comments, as a sign to dig deeper. I really hope she has the opportunity to speak to a professional, if not for anything else.. For the unfortunate abuse she experienced in her younger years and the trauma she carries. Praying for her rest.
I disagree. If someone is broke, it is likely someone with no vision, ambition, or leadership. Just because the act of servitude is her love language doesn’t mean it’s an act of stupidity. Women don’t submit to people that can’t lead.
And btw, speaking of loving someone feeling draining… Loving someone literally energises you. Think of your mom, kids, family, good friends. Love is not only an overflow but should rejuvenate even if you are actually doing an energetically depleting act.
You’re right! But people who aren’t in healthy relationships - it’s usually because they had no examples of healthy relationships (come from toxic households)
I can't stop thinking about how much these men (husbands or boyfriends) will be laughing to their friends about women who do whatever for their man or listen to them without question. How can he respect you if you have not even one little backbone? Not blaming this woman or others. My man is a dream, a true gentleman and he would be flabbergasted if I acted at all this way. He would never want me to emotionally (or physically) be on my knees for him ever. And you're so on point on the degradation analysis, it's so sad.
In what realm are men laughing with their friends about their woman?? In the real world majority of men actually respect their partner and most certainly do not laugh at them or take them for a joke.
@@BeyonKasual that makes no sense as there can be hundreds of reasons why folk divorces ..and again I doubt the majority are laughing about it amongst friends..that's some weird thinking,if a man is mocking you amongst friends he's deffo not your man.. complain, moan occasionally maybe but act as if his Mrs is a clown to impress pals 🤨 maybe teenagers do that
@@a.b5625 I didn't say anything about all men or even the majority... I wouldn't expect that to happen in a healthy relationship where both partners love and respect the other. I'm pleased it's never happened to you in your relationships or that you haven't noticed it from your friends but it definitely does happen when men don't respect their partner.
Half way through that clip, I was like , "No ma'am, that ain't it".....and I am married. Why are these women trying to be GOD to their men? We are meant to be HELP MATES......to our HUSBANDS....I'm with you Ms. Breeny ....this was very stressful to watch, this type of behavior is not sustainable. Period.
"You are not being submissive, you are just obeying " THIS! Some guy on fb said his wife better do what he says, and if she opposes, he's not speaking to her until she gives in. Like sir, you are INSANE!! That's not submission. You want control and that's it. You want a "yesman". A servant
Exactly. The problem is that they go and start living together, and it's a huge scam, especially for women, because you'll end up doing those same things that are exclusive for a husband, not a boyfriend, and they'll expect that from you because you share the same space. Basically selling yourself short.
Or just admit half of you ain't capable of wife duties hence why you think it's a special perk...you people think you can do relationships with half input and it will lead to upgraded relationship statuses lol..no like anything worth having in life you have to put work in if you want the best outcomes ...simple
@@a.b5625 You totally missed the point. This is something determined and founded by God, the creator of the universe, not about what is "normal" by society. It's not that they aren't capable or willing, but of lot of women do that and receive not much in return, not even marriage even though some already have kids together, which is a huge responsibility. Why is it so easy and normal to have kids outside of marriage, but it's mind boggling when you want a marriage commitment before all that? That's what's crazy. The truth is that sex before marriage is a sin, the truth is that you should only being doing wife duties to your HUSBAND, not boyfriend who's not ready or unwilling or even bothered to step up in life with you. This is not just a paper for society, it's a spiritual act, a spiritual vow. As wife, your duty to your Husband is more elevated than your duty to your boyfriend. Girlfriend/boyfriend relationships can be severed quickly, you pack your stuff and leave - over. It's different in marriage, the weigh of responsibility and commitment is larger, you can't just bail, call it a day and bounce, the love is greater, not just emotions, but actually compromising. All that is mostly reserved to marriage - not dating, not sex with benefits, true, true Godly marriage. Not fake, counterfeit marriages and "evolved" 21st century "normalized" relationships. This is how the deal really is. And we're not talking about your inadequacy to be a husband, if you took it personally, that's on you, but this is the reality. Take it to God if you don't like it.
@@kenasssss unfortunately I don't read into religion to much especially where relationships are concerned...people are people and have their own minds and decisions to make ..again "wife duties" unpacking a bag and running a back is nothing so tell me what are wife duties? Because to me she's just doing normal half decent stuff adults do for each other ...
I watched that clip and it was giving “I’m getting nothing in return and depleting all my energy until I have nothing left to give” vibes. Hopefully she wises up at some point and walks away. Great video, Breeny.
I absolutely loved the Nigerian sisters breakdown because even if we look at submission in a kink sense the sub actually has all the power, she sets the limits / safe words / boundaries etc. She’s choosing to give, not giving because she is forced physically or psychologically. Also, a truly dominant man would also pour out into her immensely, earning the gift of her submission. Reciprocity is key 🔑
@@calikeisha365 Super powerful and wise woman I have several of her books and yes she is at the top of her game in a male dominated field. Olajumoke Adenowo.
Hopefully if you get the BEST man in marriage, you”ll receive a lot of benefits and power. Submission to the BEST power allows you to actually relax and grow in a different power. You lose unnecessary power and in return gain necessary power. With the WRONG man, you will lose unnecessary power and gain no necessary power.
I’m love that Breeny used the Jesus reference as a comparison of unrequited submissive love, and why it’s dangerous to worship man. We’re willing to sacrifice ourselves for the ideal of a man transformed by our love, from a person who is totally blind to love.
The biggest mistakes humans make regardless of gender is giving and expecting the same level or any level of reciprocation from those they give to. When you give just do it. Without expecting reciprocation. That way when it is reciprocated by the same person who you gave to. There is a lot more value and the bond is worth a lot and continues to grow. Relationships should never be transactional.
Be careful ladies! give to those who love, appreciate, respect and value you. Constantly giving to those who don’t equally poor into you is very draining and can cause feelings of resentment and depression. Know your worth ladies!!
Reciprocation is part of a healthy relationship, so is healthy boundaries. Yes, the best giving is a gift from the heart with the sole purpose of bringing light to someone’s day, but a strong giver must have strong boundaries.
That is how it should be when a bond/commitment has been established. There's a scripture that goes like 'do not give your pearls to swine so that they do not tear them apart and turn around and trample you also'. You don't give your best to someone who does not appreciate it. And appreciation is shown through some form of reciprocation. Once you get to know someone OVER TIME, you will know that this person is the appreciative type of not. Plus, a man should take the lead in these things.
@@laurenkirby5390 I’ve been with a guy for the last 6 months and did so much and he did absolutely nothing for me. It was draining and eventually I started to resent him. It wasn’t worth.
Wow Breeny, I literally cannot put into words how you help me. Its so difficult to see a woman of faith that isnt seen as backwards or rigid or anything that is usually attributed to religion and its so refreshing. You are such a smart woman and practice faith in an authentic and knowledgeable way. I am a muslim and I learned more form you than from my community. Our religions are in so many ways the same and its why I follow your suggestions and listen to your opinions, my religion told me to respect the ones that came before mine. I experienced some serious religious trauma some time ago and these past 2 years I have been trying to get back on my feet. The reason was abuse of faith in my community and family with special focus on putting me down as a woman. I was always very strong and confident but this totally broke my spirit. This aspect of submission to a husband is something I just could not wrap my head around when it came to my faith. I felt infantilized and like some truth was hidden from me. In this video you revealed to me what I had been looking for and I feel more peace. Again, thank you so much for everything you do.
I actually watched the whole podcast because I didn’t want to be speaking out of turn. That being said, I felt deeply for this woman because what she described was neither artful nor submissive, but rather a trauma response. First and foremost submission, the biblical principle is so dreadfully misunderstood and misrepresented. The Bible specifically speaks to wives submitting to their own husbands as that husband submits to God. In essence the husband’s submission is to God and the wive’s submission to the husband is also in service to God. The worship and submission is all to God as the divine creator. What she has described is almost idolatry in that she seeks to cater to/ worship a man. We know from experience that Cam Newton, the man who she is rumored to be dating, is not her husband (so by its very definition what she’s describing cannot be considered submission). Even if we disregard marital status, we’ve also seen through his own actions/ admissions that he is not a man worth even submitting to based off the ideologies he espouses. Jasmine continued to state that she was doing these things that she didn’t necessarily enjoy but believed to be submission because she felt safe to do those things, but as she continued to talk, you could hear that she is anything but safe in this relationship. Well there is so much to unpack in that interview but I don’t think Jasmine should be focusing on submission to a man at this point but rather alignment with and healing through Jesus Christ. I pray she gets what she needs.
Breeny I completely agreee with what you saidddd. The only thing I would’ve added was the fact that you always have to constantly pour into your self and give yourself the love that you’re thinking you need to give to others. You constantly said that the way she’s loving that man is how she wants to be loved. She needed to just pour that into herself
I did this for 6 years, had a child. Lesson learned. Ladies learn from me. When a man tells u about himself, believe him. No such thing as loving someone to health.
Apparently they have been dating for a few months only and he hasn't even claimed her yet. When I listened to the interview I thought she was talking about her husband.....
You can't work your way or negotiate your way into someone's heart. By the way Breeny, there's something energizing and exciting about watching you and your videos. Thanks
I find it so fascinating that words such as submission and obedience are used when talking about relationships with POC women, particularly black women. It almost makes us sound like children when approaching relationships, so I really found it fascinating when you brought up that childhood trauma is often times linked to sexual kinks later on! I don’t often hear the words submissive and obedient when talking about white women, instead the word compromise is used. Obviously, relationships are not the space to act single, but, I wish there where more examples of black women in media in where men meet them where they are instead of vice versa.
Thank you for this. And it also pissed me off to no end that even women like Breeny continue to peddle this notion of “good submission.” The idea that there’s a “right” way to be subjugated. It makes no sense. Submission does not mean partnership. It literally means to be beholden to the authority of someone else, words mean things? Why do women want to be submissive to the whimsy of their husbands? And as a Christian myself, was I not liberated by Jesus Christ? He said neither man nor woman, neither slave nor free, neither Gentile nor Jew. Why would I use Old Testament passages to lead my entire life when I am set free? I will never submit to a man. I’m a Black WOMAN. Not a girl. I’m an adult, not a child.
They expect even women with the utmost of literacy and fortitude to submit. For what purpose? What exactly do I gain by being an obedient sheep to another man, rather than praying for a truly supportive and loving partnership? Black women are so lost. We’re being tricked into “good submission” which is really just benevolent sexism.
She is a controlling man dream woman. I really pray for her because her doing sexual acts that are painful and being mute about it plus taking care of him as if he is a toddler, is disturbing. This relationship is still in its infancy and she is doing all of this. I pray the Lord intervenes.
And she’s a willing participant, based on the fact that she’s willing to do all these things for him under the guise of he owes her loyalty, which can be viewed as controlling; especially when the time comes for her to collect his loyalty.
Learning my attachment style, how to communicate my needs and boundaries has changed my relationships completely. It has also changed who I am attracted to when I learned about family dynamics and stored trauma in the subconscious mind. Also studying the energy between the masculine and the feminine. I naturally act more masculine if I feel unsafe in the relationship. If I am unsafe I am in survival mode. Even if that’s emotionally. it’s impossible for a women to be submissive and feminine to a man who makes her feel unsafe. Especially in situations were both partners have insecure attachment styles.
I’m currently in a relationship without sx (we’re not married or engaged) and I have discovered that not trying to trade myself physically in exchange for a situationship is actually an act of submission. I’m leaving it up to his decision if we have a long term future or not, rather than trying to coerce him into staying with me. Gotta say, it requires a lot of patience and trust in God that this is the right way…
Hmmm, I would beg to differ. I’m not leaving it up to a man to be choosy. I say this without knowing the entire context of you relationship, of course. I think this is ok only when he’s made his intentions clear and is actively seeking to marry you. If not, it’s literally a situationship without sex. Any man carrying you along without letting you know his intentions, is still stringing you along. I can’t see how that is submissive….especially since in this video, the premise is that submission is reserved for your actual husband, not a boyfriend or unofficial partner, S.O., etc.
I like Shan's podcast and found this episode so interesting! I couldn't wait tomorrow morning to watch your video! I have codependency traits, I'm working on it and need to keep reminding myself that I don't have to prove that I am deserving of Love! KNOWING my worth is a long journey but it is worth it. I'm learning and healing. Thank you for all you do, share and teach Breeny!
“Some of our kinks… are from trauma” I STAY SAYING THIS. Whyyyyyy do you need to be choked or humiliated to orgasm… like why don’t people ask themselves these questions?
This is one of those video's that need to be replayed every now and then for maintenance, brilliant, timely and relevant message. I absolutely adore you Breeny and thank you for putting this message together and sharing it.
I so feel alot of empathy for this lady. Her definition of submission, her idea of love is so so misconstrued. She's likely coming from a place of Adverse childhood Experiences (ACE). Alot of healing is needed for her. May almighty bring the healing that she requires in Jesus mighty name.
How is she giving”love” when she has been searching for it? It’s like you don’t have something but you are giving people. It’s not possible. Preach sis!
It seems like a lot of us bw is lacking of boundaries, self-respect, and confidence. When are we going to wake up like WHEN THE HELL IS IT GOING TO HAPPEN?! I've had enough of it.
I always tell men I am high maintenance, but I take care of myself. Whew. I spent a lot of time blaming myself when something didn’t work out. I thought, maybe I say “no” too much. I went to therapy. Turns out, I have standards lol! I’ll be okay, God will take care of me whatever happens. Thank you for this comforting content.
Yes everything you said! I found myself giving and giving and I got nothing in return .. I was young and didn’t have the knowledge or words to express that lacking feeling.. after a while I realized what I was doing wasn’t working for me.
This is the therapy sessions I didn't know I needed. Thank you for all that you are doing and continue to do. Your channel has been a breath of fresh air and so timely for me.
Man it's so true what you said about sexual abuse and desire to be abused during sex because that's the taste you developed from the abuse forming that in you..mind blown🤯🤯🤯
Thank you so much for being real about the ‘kink shaming’… people need to be real with looking inside themselves and what’s actually going on rather than deeming everything as being free
The breakdown was REAL!!! You did that. I hope the women who are hearing this and see themselves can now help themselves into a healthy, self aware mental status. They have to learn to love themselves COMPLETELY as they are, but still be open to improvement if necessary.
I would also like to say that I really appreciate that girl’s honesty! I’m sure it took a lot for her to even be able to do that and giving us all an opportunity to learn from her. I was once that girl :) and I have a lot of empathy and compassion without judgment.
I absolutely love your energy Breeny! The way you broke down each lesson in such a meaningful, nonjudgmental, open way really helped. I believe we all can relate to these lessons at some point in our lives, living in a society were value is misunderstood. I personally haven’t focused much on relationships in general, but have been learning these lessons along the way. It’s like value is energetic not superficial.
Thank you Breeny for doing the work that you do! It is so important to teach value in our generation. I actually have been following Shan Boody and her podcast for years, and I agree that the she is very good and intentional with the questions that she asks. I hope Jasmine with time will figure out her worth. When I saw the podcast I knew something was very off with her description / belief of submission, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Luckily we have u to break it down for us so eloquently. Xx
This is your most mature video out of all. I've been watching you since the beginning, and never have I ever heard such a good sum-up of everything you've talked about for years! I honestly applaud you for this gem. God bless you, Breeny, quality over quantity. Well done! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
She does need to watch this... Even the way her boyfriend talks about her you can tell he's know she doesn't know her value and he uses it to his advantage
Breeny, this video is more valuable than gold. Thank you so much for making this video. If I had made this video I couldn’t have put it in better words than you have. It really touched me more than anything and I feel for so many young women who don’t have this knowledge and feel lost thinking that their abnormality is normalcy. Don’t stop doing this! I love you!
And the part that’s killing me is this is not even her husband oh my gosh what the hell is going on in the world ????it’s like women is fighting in the mud trying to gets sense.
I went to this jazzy girl’s comment section and the things I saw these men saying about this topic was nothing short of disgusting. They literally were saying things like “it doesn’t matter if it’s reciprocated”. I also saw a lot of black men bashing black women as a whole and saying really disrespectful things. Black women really need to start dating outside their race. I know it’s not the end all be all answer, but I feel like it’s time black women as a whole start looking elsewhere for a husband who loves and respects them.
I believe that what she does is not so much about being loved, but about making herself needed and indispensable. This is also an attempt to control the man.
That definition of submission is as SPOT ON! How do you listen to your husband? How do you support his vision for the family? How do you respond when he makes a decision you don’t like? THATS where the conflict comes in for a lot of women because that’s foreign to them.
Thank you so much Breeny for opening my eyes and teaching me. I just feel so lost from being with a narcissist. I never knew anything about those type of people. I have to start all over. I realized I was alway enough all along. This video has lifted me up.
The best thing you can do for yourself if you’ve been with a narcissist is to go no contact and heal away from them. It’s very painful to break up but do the inner work with God and if you can, include therapy so you don’t find yourself in another relationship or situationship with a narcissist. Pay attention to the red flags and pour into yourself. Check out Breeny’s “Help I’m dating a narcissist” or so video from 2017 I believe. I was in denial when I watched it back in 2018 but after some life threatening events with a narcissist I dated I found myself searching for that video again 2/3 years later. Also check out Dr. Ramani on RUclips. Her videos are life saving! I’ve gone 1 and a half years with no contact after dating him for 5 and a half years. I couldn’t even imagine a day without him but I’ve one so far now. He still hoovers via social media (typical narcissistic behaviour) but the block button is my go to. Life is SO much better narc free - no abuse, no lies, no degradation, no cheating, etc etc etc. Don’t try to save him. Save yourself and put you first. God got you and you got this! May you go from surviving to thriving in Jesus’ name. Much love!
I really loved the part where you talk about being whole as a woman, and the example with the glass of water; that resonated with me so much. My question, Breeny is how do we as women get to a point of wholeness so that we do overflow in our relationships?
I know this question might be directed to Breeny but I truly believe we become whole by doing the inner work. We are limitless beings so the internal work never stops. I think it starts with spending more time alone(time spent in isolation will allow you to hear God/your higher self/guides’ voices clearer… you’re really not on this journey on your own 🥰) , taking the time to learn/figure our what you need, taking the time to figure out what you need to unlearn, unfollowing pages that are doing nothing for you (which will help you cut down on consuming content that will keep you stagnant), evaluating the energies and relationships you have/being exposed to, to determine whether or not they’re good for you (you become whatever you surround yourself with so this is a very important one), eating cleaner and detoxifying your body will also help immensely (what we eat can either feed or deplete our minds, spirits and bodies), allowing yourself to feel those growing pains instead of running away from them because life will keep teaching you the same lessons until you learn them. Be patient with yourself. Healing and growing is not a linear process. Don’t follow anyone else’s time line. Water yourself in the way you need and want to be watered. Speak life into yourself especially when it’s difficult to do so in the beginning. Prioritise your mental, physical and spiritual health. Making sure you find happiness and love that comes from within so your actions are from a place of fullness. Doing what is difficult (feeling instead of escaping, working on yourself, the growing pains on your journey to tapping into your limitlessness etc…) usually first usually saves us from suffering long term. Take it one step at a time. Ask for help when you need it. All the best on your journey 🫂🤍.
By speaking your truth. Say no when you feel the need to say no and not feel bad about saying no to people. Not being a yes person . Making it to easy for people for the sake of not making arguments . Just to name a few things .
I used to watch Jazzy's older videos and she used to portray a very stereotypical "black woman" character in which she has long nails, updo's, she's loud, and has gold teeth (over all just very obnoxious but entertaining). So to now see her in this light is confusing all while making so much sense. She is simply lost, as MANY of us are. We're young.... I pray for her and her healing journey
Love the video Breeny. I would add, the term 'kink shaming' has been around for years. My abusive ex used to gaslight me with that term. I always knew it was his 'woke' way of manipulating the narrative and a way of shaming me for trying to express myself. Learning and loving myself now, I know I'm allowed to decide what I like and what works for me. Saying no is not kink shaming. Thank you for your insight as always.
The fear of abandonment part spoke to me so much 😭. That was so me. would go above and beyond just to make sure they didn’t leave me. I learned that’s not true love, it’s manipulation. I wasn’t doing any of those things because I truly wanted to, I was doing them so that I could control the outcome of the relationship (him not leaving). THIS DOESN’T WORK. When a man wants to leave, he’s going to leave, it doesn’t matter what you did for him.
For me this conversation is incredibly touchy because 1. submission is always framed as something only the wife has to do and 2. its described as a power play (between two ppl who are supposed to be in a UNION) so imo, neither of those are accurate. Submission is an act of compromise, which is something both parties have to do in order to maintain a healthy and sustainable relationship. Submission shouldnt look like you “laying your power down” (willingly or not) so your husband can have things his way and be happier bc of it. Its about both spouses coming together and finding a solution that pleases them as a unit. Men swear it’s their birthright to lead and women swear they have all this power but have to relinquish it so men can feel like “men”. How exhausting.
How exhausting, is right! That ideology is quite obviously foolish, but so many older people not just swear by it (while in a while struggle love) but pass it on to the younger generations... and very few question it. Also: I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about men "leading" in anything but generalities. "Let him lead the household/finances/belief system/direction of the home" ... um, be specific with scenarios and categories. And no one is good at everything, so why would that be automatic to give all of this to the guy? This whole conversation is exhausting.
@@MrsDazl Exactly. While I have my own qualms with the church, one thing I was taught is if a man is good at leading in a certain area then he should. But if his wife is better with finances, what sense would it make for him to lead in that area if he is not capable? I don’t agree with everything I’ve learned in that environment, but that definitely stuck with me.
LISTEN!!!! I started following you years back and the growth and wisdom you have shown over the years is incredible!!!! You should be so proud of yourself!!!!! The knowledge you is sharing is from a REAL,HEALING AND HEALTHY PLACE!!!!! Thank you and keep those videos coming sis 💚 incredible!!!!! Such valid and insightful information!!!!!
“ Our love cannot heal those that don’t want to be healed” applies to anyBODY in an intimate relationship. Man or woman in opposite sex or same sex relationship.
This video hurts my heart! She's in her masculine energy only striving to serve him. She needs to be provided for and pursued. Let him take care of her. She's worth it. And he will feel like a man, doing so. As long as they respect and honor each other.
Your worth depends on HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF, and that creates your reality. A lot of us don't realize that our value doesn't depend on external sources. It depends on how we see ourselves. And that's the exact thing that gets manifested in our reality. Similarly, we think that if we pour love on someone else, they will give it back to us, which isn't necessarily true. Even I am one of those who have had abandonment issues, and always felt like I never had enough love in my whole life, and I was super dependent on external sources to fill up that void. I sought that in my former connections, only to be abandoned by all of them, in a similar pattern. It's only lately that I have realized that all of that void I have within me, can only be filled up by all the love I have been putting somewhere else if I put them back into my own cup. My life has magically gotten better since then. It all starts with your seeing your worth and giving the whole love and care and respect that you deserve. When you don't see your worth, you start seeking it from the outside of you and settle for the bare minimum. Your whole life is a manifestation that comes from within.
U out did yourself Breeny. I’m going to listen to this 3x. I saw some of this submissive nonsense in myself. I have some of these traits in myself and went to therapy for 4 years to have these self defeating behaviors rooted out because it never served me in a good way. Especially as a girlfriend. Never got a marriage proposal behaving this way and I say behaviors because they can be changed.
DON’T FORGET TO HIT THE LIKE BUTTON MY LOVES ❤️
Breeny, can you share what kind of hair you're wearing? The store, if it's online? 🤗
Beautifully said! But goodness I couldn’t focus on the topic FULLY without addressing the gorgeous vase. WHERE is it from please?! 🥹
this is so on point i spent my youth beijg treated in such manner by men it also spilled over into my friendships i never said no i always gave to the point of exhaustion. i felt used unappreciated and bitter. i experienced CA and DV also Alcohol abuse in my home i was traumatised by by cruel bullying mother beaten to a point i was kept of school regularly missed school so much seen things i shouldn't have....the trauma i encountered at my mothers hands i attempted to unalive myself at 15 she called an ambulance and made me walk home. my pops i didnt know him when i found out she said he never wanted me that was on top of her telling me she should have aborted me. i went into the world fragile and got abused by men mentally physically and sexually. i ended up with 0 self worth or respect. i finally stayed on my own for 9 years i got into another relationship and started the same paterns previously never cared for my own needs etc focused on him. i ended up drained and empty i had nothing left i closed myself off he just sat there did nothing ive ended up figting back and arguig he now says i no longer care....Ladies men want a door mat they dont want submissive women they want someone they can disresepct period
Thank you for everything you do ❤️ I would love to hear more about Sexual kinks and childhood trauma. I defenetly think most us been through some type of abuse growing up.
Breeny you need to sing enthusiastically 😂plz😹💖
I never have a problem with 'submission'. What I will not 'submit' to is a fool, narcissist, brokenness and foolishness. The biblical submission is to a man who is ready to lead and would NEVER abuse his position...and you are absolutely right about not submitting to a 'boyfriend'. No submission there for me.
Facts sis facts🙌🏾
I agree the woman should also be a woman worth leading and loving, to much Jezebel spirits and there is to much said about men, but hardly women looking at themselves and asking are they women worth a man leading, most women are not even virgins yet they want a man to be 100 💯 man and they ain’t virgins, jesus washed peoples feet, if a woman wants to serve him let her serve him who are we to judge what submission is or not, we need to look at ourselves and stop looking at others, love is humble love is pure and most dont walk like that, a woman doesn’t want a broke man so why should a man want a woman who is not a virgin
@@glecservices3114 so what if a woman isn't a virgin and she wants a masculine man who is a loving, great leader and a man of god? Breeny herself isn't a virgin, but she is a woman of class.
Men want their women to be pure, to have a body that hasn't been touched, yet, they are out here in the streets and been in the streets. Nonsense..
I am personally picky, and I deserve to be that way because men are too.
the boyfriend comment is ON POINT
Are men virgins in society and are most valuing being virgins? You forget God isn't a male on earth making excuses for lacking self control. Men and women are both expected to be chaste, according to God. So are the men who are leaders chaste, and waiting until marriage in addition to making sure they can honestly provide for their possible families? I get you that women should be less vulgar but men have been creating the disharmony through rape and greed to break their counterparts and also inhibit capable women from similarly providing for themselves.
As a man, I only had to get to 5:56 to know i had heard enough. If a man needs that sort of looking after, he needs a mother not a wife because he is a child. If a normal man ever had a woman treat him like that, he'd think she's overly intense and would lose respect for her as a seperate person.
It's a terrible way to be and if i saw those behaviors in my sister or friend I'd be worried about the type of man that would seek her out, it only invites abusive behavior.
Yes sir 👏🏾
Thank you. You get it. 👏🏾👏🏾
I disagree. What she did was being sunmission because her form of catering to her man was made on HER choice to how to submit to him. Not because her man was missing something she was already providing him.
Mother and relationship dynamics are built around the mother's responsibility, not choice. However, Jasmine's specific method of submitting to her man was her choice, not responsibility.
I honestly agree.
He’s not her husband let’s start and end there.
Trust me, they going get married soon.
💯
I'm unmarried and young, but my parents are going through a divorce right now after 30 years (I say this to point out how marriage, even one that goes well, isn't necessarily guaranteed to work forever). So I want to ask, what changes with marriage? If a relationship dynamic is abc the entire time your dating, co-habiting, an engaged, why would it suddenly become xyz when you're married?
@@KayGee_yt the answer is an entire essay but to keep short marriage is just different than dating. Typically women take on a lot of extra labor with marriage so it’s very easy to become resentful with just that. Men tend to be a burden in a lot of cases and not actual partners when it comes to raising children and the household duties.
@@KayGee_yt I think this has a lot to do with what is being said. I feel like God has a design for marriage and he intends on being part of the plan. One of the things that happen in a marriage is women are called to submit and men are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. I believe it starts with understanding what submission is and what love is. When we look at 1Corinthians 13 it describes what love is. That it's patient kind not conceited... Etc. It starts with understanding that love is not just a feeling and understanding that prayer and God play a huge role in the success of marriage and staying away from the worlds view of marriage.
The word “submit” has been taken out of context, it doesn’t mean a woman should enslave yourself and allow someone to make decisions on their behalf, without consulting her. It means that she must honor and commit to the relationship. A marriage does not give him nor her the power to control their partner. The Bible also says a ‘man should leave his family and cleave to his wife,’ it doesn’t mean that he severe ties with his family, it means, his wife takes precedent over his family. Your Husband is not your Father…no one should control or have authority over you. Women, please do not do wifey things to a significant other, honor and protect your heart. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
Can I also add that submission is a biblical concept and a lot of these men aren't even christians but, use that one principle out of context. Not to mention that the original translation in greek/roman/ Hebrew I don't even believe they used the word submission but, it was used in a different context. Plus, it says the husband is suppose to submit himself to his wife. The biggest piece these women are mission is they are only suppose to SUBMIT to a HUSBAND who is UNDER THE SUBMISSION OF The Father and Jesus Christ. Most of these men are not.
@@kawaiicoded You're so right
Yeah as long as it goes one way this submission, biblical or otherwise, it's not for me.
Such mindsets are the ones keeping so many modern women single and frustrated in their lifetime loneliness. You submit to the man as your leader, so he's an authority over you, period! Take it and be a happy wife or leave it and remain an angry single.
Your husband is the head of the household, so he's your leader and thus has authority over you. It's purely biblical.
This is why I love the first "Coming to America" because the perfect woman that was willing to do everything for him....caused him to travel the world to find a woman he had to work for. Don't be the gorgeous woman hopping on one foot in a beautiful dress ladies, ever. God bless you Breeney as always for such wonderful and equally wise content. ❤
One of my favorite movies!! ❤️he wanted a woman he can choose and find himself. He wanted a challenge.
THIS!! Literally loved how you broke down that dynamic in Coming to America. It's largely overlooked
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🔥🔥🔥🔥
😂😂😂 excellent
This!!!
I loved this! When me and my boyfriend moved in together a year ago I was doing his laundry, cleaning up after him, buying him new socks and Tees and he flat out told me to stop. Now this is my first relationship where I feel like I’m not drained because he doesn’t allow me to do more for him than he does for me.
I love this❤️
💗
I love that for you ❤️
You got your rewards because you Invested into him, so your getting what you deserve, and good or great man that has a woman investing into him with love and genuineness with no messed up motives will get inspired by your actions and admire you and what to take care of you so well done
Damn, that was beautiful to read❣️
The part about sex is so real, I was actually thinking about this the other day, who told us that these things are normal. We’ve adopted other people’s perversions as sexual exploration.
Thank you! I found that part of the podcast quite disturbing. Why would a sane man want certain sexual acts with someone who doesn't even want to engage in it but they're forcing themselves in the name of submission
I haven’t finished watching but from what I saw the lady has mistaken submission with subservience. I do not believe that you should baby a man or play the role as his mother. The lady said she “studies” her man but stuttered and couldn’t respond when she was asked if her partner studied her😬 you cannot love a man into reciprocity. On top of that, her partner has 7 kids that are not hers and she is not married to him. Why play a wife role for a man who is not your husband?
Exactly but this is the modern woman i guess, if they not doing this. They’re doing some other bs
You said a WHOLE word!!!!!
Some women ain't playing wife roles because it's simply natural to them to be a wife before they're made a wife which is why they have a man they want to be with while other women chat about them 😉
A word! I had to learn that the hard way… you cannot love a man into reciprocity‼️‼️
That's the word I was looking for when I saw that interview....Subservient!
As someone who’s been in a relationship for almost 18 yrs, married for 15, I don’t relate to her idea of a submissive wife sheesh! It’s all about cooperation, reciprocity, having boundaries and respecting an honouring not only each other, but ourselves as individuals.
N Gabriel, I agree.👍
Yes! It’s all about love and respect. May your marriage continue to be blessed.
This sounds so beautiful :)
when she said my love can heal, I felt so sad for her. If the mother who birthed the child cannot change him, you are delusional to even think to stand a chance. She needs several therapy sessions not babysitting an adult baby. I said on a different page that she is seeking for approval.
Self love is definitely a journey. It's taken about 9 years. 7 years & counting I've been truly loving on myself.
From the intro, you’re absolute correct. I was told a woman who does nothing gets everything! And I declare its true
I concur. It's sad and backwards. But is the reality.
Lmao. No it's not.
only a men with feminine masculinity would sit down and allow a woman to treat him like that she is a broken woman she needs help
So very true! It’s so sad the hurdles a man will jump through for a woman who does absolutely NOTHING!
Wrong, you do nothing, you get nothing.
Wooooo lawd! Been there done that. Never again. A man will not like a woman more if she does all this. He either values her or he doesn’t. And yes submitting one to another is for marriage. She didn’t mention one thing that he does…As women our identity should be in God not a man. Prayers.
Hey name twin!!!
@@akilahj2252 Heyyyyyyyyy Akilah J!!!!!!!!!!
Did you submit to a good man or bad man? I would argue that the problem is not submission itself, but who you are submitting to. If you submit to a man that is thoughtful, considerate, provides for you, takes care of you, is submission wrong?
I do all that for my man every day of the week. But he’s my husband, we just celebrated our 16 yrs of marriage. I got married when I was 25 yrs old , was still in dental school .
There’s nothing wrong with taking care of a good man . Having say that, that’s me taking care of my man. That is not submission.
My husband works hard and have a very rewarding but demanding career. He deserves to be pampered, but he also give me back 20 times plus everything I do. I have everything a woman want and most importantly I have a man who love, value and respect me. 16 yrs of marriage to a man who’s successful, I have had no complaints, no side piece, no disrespect and I know there’s plenty temptation .
I don’t think people understand what the Bible meant when it says wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wife like Christ love the church. I know in this country, when especially modern black American women hear the word submission , they lose their mind.
In my opinion, the man got the hardest part of the deal because if you take time to think about it. Christ die for the church, bleeding out on a cross. So when the Bible say for a husband to love his wife the way Christ loved the church. By definition that’s a heck of a responsibility.
Submission is allowing a man, a husband to lead. Even when there’s disagreement , even if he make mistakes while leading you. As the wife you trust him enough to know you don’t have to worry . He will lead both of you on the right path , even if he turn left when he was supposed to turn right. He will find his way.
But to have that type of trust you have to feel completely safe with that man.
Submission in marriage means selfishness, accountability and respect for your husband.
In return you have a husband who would take a bullet for his family. He love , provide and protect his woman .
.
Speak on it, sis. I’ve been to the circus, rode all the rides and won all the 🤡 prizes. Watching THAT interview, I definitely cringed and suffered severe second hand embarrassment. Bless her heart, for real. 🌺
"I make it easy for a man to be with me cause I don't do much."
Yeah on her radio show Jasmine said her relationship has to work, at this point in her life, she can’t start over!
Couldn't agree more about the *correlation between sexual kinks and childhood trauma.* I think it was Esther Perel who said, 'Tell me how you were loved when growing up and I'll tell you how you love and make love..' something along those lines.
If we look around we'll see that most teenage pregnancies, sex workers, and victims of domestic abuse come from turbulent households. And this whole agenda that's being pushed these days telling a woman she doesn't need a man to raise a child isn't helping the situation.
Not seen my dad for the last 20 years and I can clearly see how that has impacted the choices I make in life and love. Lots to unlearn.
As someone raised by single mom I feel you. I have trust issues when I've never been even been in a relationship and I'm beginning to think that my cynicism about men's intentions is a result of my dad's absence.
I am a totally open kink shamer. I do not understand how we have let it come so far that people (especially women) get slapped around in the bedroom but if it happened outside of that it would be abuse. If your man can hurt you in a sexual context it just means he can hurt you. Period. Like you and Breeny said it either stems from trauma or one is so manipulated by this constant input of "kinks are normal and healthy" that people dont know the harm. It also at best it makes sex a performance instead of an actual way of connection and that just doesnt sit right with me.
@@Haysti2000 right. Being slapped arouns is crazy.
@@Haysti2000 I agree. I have a kink and always believed it came from somewhere unhealthy. Now, I wish we could all admit this when it comes to this alphabet community as well and people race-playing in the bed room 🥴
@@Mikirono23 yup! Totally agree. I myself thought the most degrading stuff was "hot". The point about kinks is not to hate on people who havent seen the light because I literally was on the other said. Its actually the reason why I feel so strongly about this. I would have never been disrespected like this had I seen someone tell me this before I believed kinks are healthy.
I listened to the entire podcast episode and Shan asked all the right questions. When she asked Jasmine what she’s getting out of it, Jasmine replied that she’s this way regardless of what she gets out of it. However, when Shan asked if she would submit to a broke man, Jasmine said “No!” Which completely contradicts her sentiment of the act of servitude, being her love language, regardless of who’s she’s with. I’m not sure who her man is but he’s clearly someone of stature and has money. To me, this means her love language is completely conditional. She puts herself in positions of servitude to gain love and affection, in hope of filling the voids of past trauma. You have to really listen to the entire podcast to understand why she does what she does. Praying for her and other women feeling the need to “do the most” for love.
Made a similar comment and observation! ✨ I hope she sees this video and some of the constructive comments, as a sign to dig deeper. I really hope she has the opportunity to speak to a professional, if not for anything else.. For the unfortunate abuse she experienced in her younger years and the trauma she carries. Praying for her rest.
Her man in Cam Newton. He's a multimillionaire
@@prudenceezu9113 yup.... this is the most important detail being left out of the chat ☕
🗣🗣🗣🎯
I disagree. If someone is broke, it is likely someone with no vision, ambition, or leadership. Just because the act of servitude is her love language doesn’t mean it’s an act of stupidity. Women don’t submit to people that can’t lead.
"If I love you I can heal you" this is so toxic, you can't fix people
And btw, speaking of loving someone feeling draining… Loving someone literally energises you. Think of your mom, kids, family, good friends. Love is not only an overflow but should rejuvenate even if you are actually doing an energetically depleting act.
That is a wonderful point. Love is supposed to energize you. Not drain you 🙌🏾
Exactly!
Well said! 👌🏽
You’re right! But people who aren’t in healthy relationships - it’s usually because they had no examples of healthy relationships (come from toxic households)
I can't stop thinking about how much these men (husbands or boyfriends) will be laughing to their friends about women who do whatever for their man or listen to them without question. How can he respect you if you have not even one little backbone? Not blaming this woman or others. My man is a dream, a true gentleman and he would be flabbergasted if I acted at all this way. He would never want me to emotionally (or physically) be on my knees for him ever. And you're so on point on the degradation analysis, it's so sad.
In what realm are men laughing with their friends about their woman?? In the real world majority of men actually respect their partner and most certainly do not laugh at them or take them for a joke.
@@a.b5625 if that were true the divorce rates wouldn't be at the levels they are now.
@@BeyonKasual that makes no sense as there can be hundreds of reasons why folk divorces ..and again I doubt the majority are laughing about it amongst friends..that's some weird thinking,if a man is mocking you amongst friends he's deffo not your man.. complain, moan occasionally maybe but act as if his Mrs is a clown to impress pals 🤨 maybe teenagers do that
@@a.b5625 I didn't say anything about all men or even the majority... I wouldn't expect that to happen in a healthy relationship where both partners love and respect the other. I'm pleased it's never happened to you in your relationships or that you haven't noticed it from your friends but it definitely does happen when men don't respect their partner.
@@a.b5625 lol there are plenty of group chats and Reddit forums with men clowning their women
Half way through that clip, I was like , "No ma'am, that ain't it".....and I am married. Why are these women trying to be GOD to their men? We are meant to be HELP MATES......to our HUSBANDS....I'm with you Ms. Breeny ....this was very stressful to watch, this type of behavior is not sustainable. Period.
"You are not being submissive, you are just obeying " THIS! Some guy on fb said his wife better do what he says, and if she opposes, he's not speaking to her until she gives in. Like sir, you are INSANE!! That's not submission. You want control and that's it. You want a "yesman". A servant
This submission obsession opens the door for a ton of abuse. Submission is willing, not forced, manipulated, or controlled.
@@purpleflows5680 agreed!
@@purpleflows5680 whewwww yes
The women in the situation is equally insane for tolerating it.
Stop doing wife duties for a man that’s not your husband PERIOD!!!!
Exactly. The problem is that they go and start living together, and it's a huge scam, especially for women, because you'll end up doing those same things that are exclusive for a husband, not a boyfriend, and they'll expect that from you because you share the same space. Basically selling yourself short.
@@kenasssss exactly don’t cohabit with none of these men . Idc if they’re your fiancé don’t live with him and tempt yourself.
Or just admit half of you ain't capable of wife duties hence why you think it's a special perk...you people think you can do relationships with half input and it will lead to upgraded relationship statuses lol..no like anything worth having in life you have to put work in if you want the best outcomes ...simple
@@a.b5625 You totally missed the point. This is something determined and founded by God, the creator of the universe, not about what is "normal" by society. It's not that they aren't capable or willing, but of lot of women do that and receive not much in return, not even marriage even though some already have kids together, which is a huge responsibility. Why is it so easy and normal to have kids outside of marriage, but it's mind boggling when you want a marriage commitment before all that? That's what's crazy. The truth is that sex before marriage is a sin, the truth is that you should only being doing wife duties to your HUSBAND, not boyfriend who's not ready or unwilling or even bothered to step up in life with you. This is not just a paper for society, it's a spiritual act, a spiritual vow. As wife, your duty to your Husband is more elevated than your duty to your boyfriend. Girlfriend/boyfriend relationships can be severed quickly, you pack your stuff and leave - over. It's different in marriage, the weigh of responsibility and commitment is larger, you can't just bail, call it a day and bounce, the love is greater, not just emotions, but actually compromising. All that is mostly reserved to marriage - not dating, not sex with benefits, true, true Godly marriage. Not fake, counterfeit marriages and "evolved" 21st century "normalized" relationships. This is how the deal really is. And we're not talking about your inadequacy to be a husband, if you took it personally, that's on you, but this is the reality. Take it to God if you don't like it.
@@kenasssss unfortunately I don't read into religion to much especially where relationships are concerned...people are people and have their own minds and decisions to make ..again "wife duties" unpacking a bag and running a back is nothing so tell me what are wife duties? Because to me she's just doing normal half decent stuff adults do for each other ...
Breeny: What she’s describing isn’t submission, it’s…
Me: Slavery
Breeny: Service
Me: *o h*
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I agree with your assessment tbh😂
@@purpleflows5680 yup
😄😂😂😅
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I watched that clip and it was giving “I’m getting nothing in return and depleting all my energy until I have nothing left to give” vibes. Hopefully she wises up at some point and walks away. Great video, Breeny.
Sounds like she broken on many levels. She needs help, she needs God….
“You can never get someone to love you by loving them” 🔥🔥
I absolutely loved the Nigerian sisters breakdown because even if we look at submission in a kink sense the sub actually has all the power, she sets the limits / safe words / boundaries etc. She’s choosing to give, not giving because she is forced physically or psychologically. Also, a truly dominant man would also pour out into her immensely, earning the gift of her submission. Reciprocity is key 🔑
I loved it too! Does anyone know who she is?
@@calikeisha365 She's Jumoke Adenowo, a top architect in Nigeria/Africa. Check her out here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olajumoke_Adenowo
@@calikeisha365 Super powerful and wise woman I have several of her books and yes she is at the top of her game in a male dominated field. Olajumoke Adenowo.
Faith doesn’t worry and value doesn’t beg 🙌🏾 preach Breeny!! ❤️
Wow powerful
"My love heals him" what kind of witchcraft.
😭
@@BreenyLee she doesn't know what she's doing. Please keep her lifted in prayer.
🤣🤣
@@rebekahkingbello9560 it's funny but I'm really sad for her
💯 😭😭
:Faith doesn't worry and value doesn't beg"......YESSSSSS SIS!
I honestly feel for Jasmine because it's obvious that she thought she was doing the right thing as a girlfriend/wife.
Hopefully if you get the BEST man in marriage, you”ll receive a lot of benefits and power. Submission to the BEST power allows you to actually relax and grow in a different power. You lose unnecessary power and in return gain necessary power. With the WRONG man, you will lose unnecessary power and gain no necessary power.
I’m love that Breeny used the Jesus reference as a comparison of unrequited submissive love, and why it’s dangerous to worship man. We’re willing to sacrifice ourselves for the ideal of a man transformed by our love, from a person who is totally blind to love.
The biggest mistakes humans make regardless of gender is giving and expecting the same level or any level of reciprocation from those they give to. When you give just do it. Without expecting reciprocation. That way when it is reciprocated by the same person who you gave to. There is a lot more value and the bond is worth a lot and continues to grow. Relationships should never be transactional.
Be careful ladies! give to those who love, appreciate, respect and value you. Constantly giving to those who don’t equally poor into you is very draining and can cause feelings of resentment and depression. Know your worth ladies!!
Reciprocation is part of a healthy relationship, so is healthy boundaries. Yes, the best giving is a gift from the heart with the sole purpose of bringing light to someone’s day, but a strong giver must have strong boundaries.
That is how it should be when a bond/commitment has been established. There's a scripture that goes like 'do not give your pearls to swine so that they do not tear them apart and turn around and trample you also'. You don't give your best to someone who does not appreciate it. And appreciation is shown through some form of reciprocation. Once you get to know someone OVER TIME, you will know that this person is the appreciative type of not. Plus, a man should take the lead in these things.
Facts!* @@laurenkirby5390
@@laurenkirby5390 I’ve been with a guy for the last 6 months and did so much and he did absolutely nothing for me. It was draining and eventually I started to resent him. It wasn’t worth.
Wow Breeny, I literally cannot put into words how you help me. Its so difficult to see a woman of faith that isnt seen as backwards or rigid or anything that is usually attributed to religion and its so refreshing. You are such a smart woman and practice faith in an authentic and knowledgeable way. I am a muslim and I learned more form you than from my community. Our religions are in so many ways the same and its why I follow your suggestions and listen to your opinions, my religion told me to respect the ones that came before mine.
I experienced some serious religious trauma some time ago and these past 2 years I have been trying to get back on my feet. The reason was abuse of faith in my community and family with special focus on putting me down as a woman. I was always very strong and confident but this totally broke my spirit. This aspect of submission to a husband is something I just could not wrap my head around when it came to my faith. I felt infantilized and like some truth was hidden from me. In this video you revealed to me what I had been looking for and I feel more peace.
Again, thank you so much for everything you do.
I would love to connect with you Marwa, please send me a DM 💌
@@BreenyLee I dmed you on Instagram, if something else is better let me know
“Faith doesn’t worry and value never begs !! New mantra! Loved this breeny ❤️❤️
I actually watched the whole podcast because I didn’t want to be speaking out of turn. That being said, I felt deeply for this woman because what she described was neither artful nor submissive, but rather a trauma response. First and foremost submission, the biblical principle is so dreadfully misunderstood and misrepresented. The Bible specifically speaks to wives submitting to their own husbands as that husband submits to God. In essence the husband’s submission is to God and the wive’s submission to the husband is also in service to God. The worship and submission is all to God as the divine creator. What she has described is almost idolatry in that she seeks to cater to/ worship a man. We know from experience that Cam Newton, the man who she is rumored to be dating, is not her husband (so by its very definition what she’s describing cannot be considered submission). Even if we disregard marital status, we’ve also seen through his own actions/ admissions that he is not a man worth even submitting to based off the ideologies he espouses. Jasmine continued to state that she was doing these things that she didn’t necessarily enjoy but believed to be submission because she felt safe to do those things, but as she continued to talk, you could hear that she is anything but safe in this relationship. Well there is so much to unpack in that interview but I don’t think Jasmine should be focusing on submission to a man at this point but rather alignment with and healing through Jesus Christ. I pray she gets what she needs.
Amen!!! So well said 💯
Amen 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
That’s word!!
It’s definitely idolatry
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 well said
🎯
Breeny I completely agreee with what you saidddd. The only thing I would’ve added was the fact that you always have to constantly pour into your self and give yourself the love that you’re thinking you need to give to others. You constantly said that the way she’s loving that man is how she wants to be loved. She needed to just pour that into herself
‼️
“How you see yourself affects every area of your life” So True!
Let me say...being a good person without boundaries does not get you loved, it gets you used!!! She is devaluing herself. Its sad.
I did this for three years. Now that i understand my actions I want my time and money back 😩 but I get it. Lesson learned.
Right! Give me my coins back lol...but seriously lesson learned.✅
I did this for 6 years, had a child. Lesson learned. Ladies learn from me. When a man tells u about himself, believe him. No such thing as loving someone to health.
Same I felt so damn dumb lmfao
Almost 2 years in & im planning my escape as we speak
@@StarringShameka me too sis. may we both succeed and claim back our energy ❤️
'When you're not afraid to lose someone, you can speak your mind' had to replay that again and let it sink in.
Apparently they have been dating for a few months only and he hasn't even claimed her yet. When I listened to the interview I thought she was talking about her husband.....
Same…
Shaderoom posted a picture of them attending a horse race together in 2020
You can't work your way or negotiate your way into someone's heart. By the way Breeny, there's something energizing and exciting about watching you and your videos. Thanks
I find it so fascinating that words such as submission and obedience are used when talking about relationships with POC women, particularly black women. It almost makes us sound like children when approaching relationships, so I really found it fascinating when you brought up that childhood trauma is often times linked to sexual kinks later on! I don’t often hear the words submissive and obedient when talking about white women, instead the word compromise is used. Obviously, relationships are not the space to act single, but, I wish there where more examples of black women in media in where men meet them where they are instead of vice versa.
This!
Thank you for this. And it also pissed me off to no end that even women like Breeny continue to peddle this notion of “good submission.” The idea that there’s a “right” way to be subjugated. It makes no sense. Submission does not mean partnership. It literally means to be beholden to the authority of someone else, words mean things? Why do women want to be submissive to the whimsy of their husbands? And as a Christian myself, was I not liberated by Jesus Christ? He said neither man nor woman, neither slave nor free, neither Gentile nor Jew. Why would I use Old Testament passages to lead my entire life when I am set free? I will never submit to a man. I’m a Black WOMAN. Not a girl. I’m an adult, not a child.
They expect even women with the utmost of literacy and fortitude to submit. For what purpose? What exactly do I gain by being an obedient sheep to another man, rather than praying for a truly supportive and loving partnership? Black women are so lost. We’re being tricked into “good submission” which is really just benevolent sexism.
@@steff6146 Your submission to your husband is a way by which you honor God because you are obeying his word.
She is a controlling man dream woman. I really pray for her because her doing sexual acts that are painful and being mute about it plus taking care of him as if he is a toddler, is disturbing. This relationship is still in its infancy and she is doing all of this. I pray the Lord intervenes.
And she’s a willing participant, based on the fact that she’s willing to do all these things for him under the guise of he owes her loyalty, which can be viewed as controlling; especially when the time comes for her to collect his loyalty.
And that same man will have a side chick that is nothing like that...
@@kenasssss he literally has 7 kids lol. Smh
@@Myaccount923 are you serious? He has 7 kids😳
Learning my attachment style, how to communicate my needs and boundaries has changed my relationships completely. It has also changed who I am attracted to when I learned about family dynamics and stored trauma in the subconscious mind. Also studying the energy between the masculine and the feminine. I naturally act more masculine if I feel unsafe in the relationship. If I am unsafe I am in survival mode. Even if that’s emotionally. it’s impossible for a women to be submissive and feminine to a man who makes her feel unsafe. Especially in situations were both partners have insecure attachment styles.
why did you type out exactly how im feeling wow
Can we just appreciate how beautiful Breeny is. Always looking fabb ❤
I’m currently in a relationship without sx (we’re not married or engaged) and I have discovered that not trying to trade myself physically in exchange for a situationship is actually an act of submission.
I’m leaving it up to his decision if we have a long term future or not, rather than trying to coerce him into staying with me.
Gotta say, it requires a lot of patience and trust in God that this is the right way…
Hmmm, I would beg to differ. I’m not leaving it up to a man to be choosy. I say this without knowing the entire context of you relationship, of course. I think this is ok only when he’s made his intentions clear and is actively seeking to marry you. If not, it’s literally a situationship without sex. Any man carrying you along without letting you know his intentions, is still stringing you along. I can’t see how that is submissive….especially since in this video, the premise is that submission is reserved for your actual husband, not a boyfriend or unofficial partner, S.O., etc.
Yes, being direct is the way forward. Do not be afraid of losing someone. Say exactly what is o. Your mind. He will respect you more for it.
Value does not beg! Breeny is HITTING! I am a diamond, people should see me for what I am worth… I don’t have to prove my worth!
I like Shan's podcast and found this episode so interesting! I couldn't wait tomorrow morning to watch your video!
I have codependency traits, I'm working on it and need to keep reminding myself that I don't have to prove that I am deserving of Love! KNOWING my worth is a long journey but it is worth it. I'm learning and healing.
Thank you for all you do, share and teach Breeny!
“Some of our kinks… are from trauma” I STAY SAYING THIS. Whyyyyyy do you need to be choked or humiliated to orgasm… like why don’t people ask themselves these questions?
This is one of those video's that need to be replayed every now and then for maintenance, brilliant, timely and relevant message. I absolutely adore you Breeny and thank you for putting this message together and sharing it.
I so feel alot of empathy for this lady. Her definition of submission, her idea of love is so so misconstrued. She's likely coming from a place of Adverse childhood Experiences (ACE). Alot of healing is needed for her.
May almighty bring the healing that she requires in Jesus mighty name.
Amen ❤️
How is she giving”love” when she has been searching for it? It’s like you don’t have something but you are giving people. It’s not possible.
Preach sis!
It seems like a lot of us bw is lacking of boundaries, self-respect, and confidence. When are we going to wake up like WHEN THE HELL IS IT GOING TO HAPPEN?! I've had enough of it.
I always tell men I am high maintenance, but I take care of myself. Whew. I spent a lot of time blaming myself when something didn’t work out. I thought, maybe I say “no” too much. I went to therapy. Turns out, I have standards lol!
I’ll be okay, God will take care of me whatever happens.
Thank you for this comforting content.
I think low self esteem also has to do with submissiveness and wanting to be dominated in the bedroom. You're afraid to take back your control.
Yes everything you said! I found myself giving and giving and I got nothing in return .. I was young and didn’t have the knowledge or words to express that lacking feeling.. after a while I realized what I was doing wasn’t working for me.
Breeny ur voice is so important in today’s society! Lots of love from across the pond 💗💗💗
Thank you lovely ❤️
@@BreenyLee 💗💗🤗🤗
Amennn we love our big sis !
This is the therapy sessions I didn't know I needed. Thank you for all that you are doing and continue to do. Your channel has been a breath of fresh air and so timely for me.
Yes..Saw this on Tik Tok and was like nope! This is not it
Man it's so true what you said about sexual abuse and desire to be abused during sex because that's the taste you developed from the abuse forming that in you..mind blown🤯🤯🤯
Thank you so much for being real about the ‘kink shaming’… people need to be real with looking inside themselves and what’s actually going on rather than deeming everything as being free
The breakdown was REAL!!! You did that. I hope the women who are hearing this and see themselves can now help themselves into a healthy, self aware mental status. They have to learn to love themselves COMPLETELY as they are, but still be open to improvement if necessary.
I would also like to say that I really appreciate that girl’s honesty! I’m sure it took a lot for her to even be able to do that and giving us all an opportunity to learn from her. I was once that girl :) and I have a lot of empathy and compassion without judgment.
I absolutely love your energy Breeny! The way you broke down each lesson in such a meaningful, nonjudgmental, open way really helped. I believe we all can relate to these lessons at some point in our lives, living in a society were value is misunderstood. I personally haven’t focused much on relationships in general, but have been learning these lessons along the way. It’s like value is energetic not superficial.
Thank you Breeny for doing the work that you do! It is so important to teach value in our generation. I actually have been following Shan Boody and her podcast for years, and I agree that the she is very good and intentional with the questions that she asks. I hope Jasmine with time will figure out her worth. When I saw the podcast I knew something was very off with her description / belief of submission, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Luckily we have u to break it down for us so eloquently. Xx
❤️❤️❤️
Finally!! Someone wants to talk about how trauma can come up as kinks!
Soooooo glad she said it
This is your most mature video out of all. I've been watching you since the beginning, and never have I ever heard such a good sum-up of everything you've talked about for years! I honestly applaud you for this gem. God bless you, Breeny, quality over quantity. Well done! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Thank you so much 😊
Very mature & informative 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
She does need to watch this... Even the way her boyfriend talks about her you can tell he's know she doesn't know her value and he uses it to his advantage
Jazzy doesn’t have any kids
Breeny, this video is more valuable than gold. Thank you so much for making this video. If I had made this video I couldn’t have put it in better words than you have. It really touched me more than anything and I feel for so many young women who don’t have this knowledge and feel lost thinking that their abnormality is normalcy. Don’t stop doing this! I love you!
And the part that’s killing me is this is not even her husband oh my gosh what the hell is going on in the world ????it’s like women is fighting in the mud trying to gets sense.
I went to this jazzy girl’s comment section and the things I saw these men saying about this topic was nothing short of disgusting. They literally were saying things like “it doesn’t matter if it’s reciprocated”. I also saw a lot of black men bashing black women as a whole and saying really disrespectful things. Black women really need to start dating outside their race. I know it’s not the end all be all answer, but I feel like it’s time black women as a whole start looking elsewhere for a husband who loves and respects them.
Agreed
"Faith doesn't worry and value doesn't beg"....this right here! Excellent points made in this entire video 👏🏾👏🏾
I believe that what she does is not so much about being loved, but about making herself needed and indispensable. This is also an attempt to control the man.
That definition of submission is as SPOT ON! How do you listen to your husband? How do you support his vision for the family? How do you respond when he makes a decision you don’t like? THATS where the conflict comes in for a lot of women because that’s foreign to them.
Thank you so much Breeny for opening my eyes and teaching me. I just feel so lost from being with a narcissist. I never knew anything about those type of people. I have to start all over. I realized I was alway enough all along. This video has lifted me up.
The best thing you can do for yourself if you’ve been with a narcissist is to go no contact and heal away from them. It’s very painful to break up but do the inner work with God and if you can, include therapy so you don’t find yourself in another relationship or situationship with a narcissist. Pay attention to the red flags and pour into yourself. Check out Breeny’s “Help I’m dating a narcissist” or so video from 2017 I believe. I was in denial when I watched it back in 2018 but after some life threatening events with a narcissist I dated I found myself searching for that video again 2/3 years later. Also check out Dr. Ramani on RUclips. Her videos are life saving! I’ve gone 1 and a half years with no contact after dating him for 5 and a half years. I couldn’t even imagine a day without him but I’ve one so far now. He still hoovers via social media (typical narcissistic behaviour) but the block button is my go to. Life is SO much better narc free - no abuse, no lies, no degradation, no cheating, etc etc etc. Don’t try to save him. Save yourself and put you first. God got you and you got this! May you go from surviving to thriving in Jesus’ name. Much love!
When I get home from work I’ll be watching because I knew I wasn’t the only one thinking NO 😂
I am obsessed with your videos. You always express your points so eloquently, with a direct route, and come with the facts.
I really loved the part where you talk about being whole as a woman, and the example with the glass of water; that resonated with me so much. My question, Breeny is how do we as women get to a point of wholeness so that we do overflow in our relationships?
I know this question might be directed to Breeny but I truly believe we become whole by doing the inner work. We are limitless beings so the internal work never stops. I think it starts with spending more time alone(time spent in isolation will allow you to hear God/your higher self/guides’ voices clearer… you’re really not on this journey on your own 🥰) , taking the time to learn/figure our what you need, taking the time to figure out what you need to unlearn, unfollowing pages that are doing nothing for you (which will help you cut down on consuming content that will keep you stagnant), evaluating the energies and relationships you have/being exposed to, to determine whether or not they’re good for you (you become whatever you surround yourself with so this is a very important one), eating cleaner and detoxifying your body will also help immensely (what we eat can either feed or deplete our minds, spirits and bodies), allowing yourself to feel those growing pains instead of running away from them because life will keep teaching you the same lessons until you learn them. Be patient with yourself. Healing and growing is not a linear process. Don’t follow anyone else’s time line. Water yourself in the way you need and want to be watered. Speak life into yourself especially when it’s difficult to do so in the beginning. Prioritise your mental, physical and spiritual health. Making sure you find happiness and love that comes from within so your actions are from a place of fullness. Doing what is difficult (feeling instead of escaping, working on yourself, the growing pains on your journey to tapping into your limitlessness etc…) usually first usually saves us from suffering long term. Take it one step at a time. Ask for help when you need it. All the best on your journey 🫂🤍.
By speaking your truth. Say no when you feel the need to say no and not feel bad about saying no to people. Not being a yes person . Making it to easy for people for the sake of not making arguments . Just to name a few things .
This is not submission but idolatry, with a root of control, watered by fears.
I used to watch Jazzy's older videos and she used to portray a very stereotypical "black woman" character in which she has long nails, updo's, she's loud, and has gold teeth (over all just very obnoxious but entertaining). So to now see her in this light is confusing all while making so much sense. She is simply lost, as MANY of us are. We're young.... I pray for her and her healing journey
Love the video Breeny. I would add, the term 'kink shaming' has been around for years. My abusive ex used to gaslight me with that term. I always knew it was his 'woke' way of manipulating the narrative and a way of shaming me for trying to express myself. Learning and loving myself now, I know I'm allowed to decide what I like and what works for me. Saying no is not kink shaming. Thank you for your insight as always.
You’re a wise woman…God bless you ♥️ I love how you always reference scripture when talking about topics 🔥
The fear of abandonment part spoke to me so much 😭. That was so me. would go above and beyond just to make sure they didn’t leave me. I learned that’s not true love, it’s manipulation. I wasn’t doing any of those things because I truly wanted to, I was doing them so that I could control the outcome of the relationship (him not leaving). THIS DOESN’T WORK. When a man wants to leave, he’s going to leave, it doesn’t matter what you did for him.
For me this conversation is incredibly touchy because 1. submission is always framed as something only the wife has to do and 2. its described as a power play (between two ppl who are supposed to be in a UNION) so imo, neither of those are accurate. Submission is an act of compromise, which is something both parties have to do in order to maintain a healthy and sustainable relationship. Submission shouldnt look like you “laying your power down” (willingly or not) so your husband can have things his way and be happier bc of it. Its about both spouses coming together and finding a solution that pleases them as a unit. Men swear it’s their birthright to lead and women swear they have all this power but have to relinquish it so men can feel like “men”. How exhausting.
How exhausting, is right! That ideology is quite obviously foolish, but so many older people not just swear by it (while in a while struggle love) but pass it on to the younger generations... and very few question it.
Also: I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about men "leading" in anything but generalities. "Let him lead the household/finances/belief system/direction of the home" ... um, be specific with scenarios and categories. And no one is good at everything, so why would that be automatic to give all of this to the guy? This whole conversation is exhausting.
@@MrsDazl Exactly. While I have my own qualms with the church, one thing I was taught is if a man is good at leading in a certain area then he should. But if his wife is better with finances, what sense would it make for him to lead in that area if he is not capable? I don’t agree with everything I’ve learned in that environment, but that definitely stuck with me.
You've put my feelings towards this video and submission into words. Thank you
Breeny - I'm a man and I enjoy your sermons - amen :)
LISTEN!!!! I started following you years back and the growth and wisdom you have shown over the years is incredible!!!! You should be so proud of yourself!!!!! The knowledge you is sharing is from a REAL,HEALING AND HEALTHY PLACE!!!!! Thank you and keep those videos coming sis 💚 incredible!!!!! Such valid and insightful information!!!!!
Faith doesn’t worry and value doesn’t beg! My new morning mantra
God is Love. I’m here in tears sis. U are Speaking the TRUTH ✨🕊 TY for this!!! Just subscribed + followed on IG. Stay shining Queen.
“ Our love cannot heal those that don’t want to be healed” applies to anyBODY in an intimate relationship. Man or woman in opposite sex or same sex relationship.
"I'm not healing anyone, this is not rehab" 👏
Submission has to do with Trust. If you cannot Trust a Man Leadership you will not be able to submit.
This video hurts my heart! She's in her masculine energy only striving to serve him. She needs to be provided for and pursued. Let him take care of her. She's worth it. And he will feel like a man, doing so. As long as they respect and honor each other.
Your worth depends on HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF, and that creates your reality. A lot of us don't realize that our value doesn't depend on external sources. It depends on how we see ourselves. And that's the exact thing that gets manifested in our reality. Similarly, we think that if we pour love on someone else, they will give it back to us, which isn't necessarily true. Even I am one of those who have had abandonment issues, and always felt like I never had enough love in my whole life, and I was super dependent on external sources to fill up that void. I sought that in my former connections, only to be abandoned by all of them, in a similar pattern. It's only lately that I have realized that all of that void I have within me, can only be filled up by all the love I have been putting somewhere else if I put them back into my own cup. My life has magically gotten better since then. It all starts with your seeing your worth and giving the whole love and care and respect that you deserve. When you don't see your worth, you start seeking it from the outside of you and settle for the bare minimum. Your whole life is a manifestation that comes from within.
I like how you broke it down Breeny, we women need to love ourselves and know our worth is not in what we do for others.
She's going to get so drained, loose herself and if it doesn't work out , not just her heart but her spirit will be broken.
Agreed, it happened to me. Going back into therapy. I need to be healed and the best version of myself.
U out did yourself Breeny. I’m going to listen to this 3x. I saw some of this submissive nonsense in myself. I have some of these traits in myself and went to therapy for 4 years to have these self defeating behaviors rooted out because it never served me in a good way. Especially as a girlfriend. Never got a marriage proposal behaving this way and I say behaviors because they can be changed.